FMA Advice Column
by BakaKonekoRKL
Summary: Like a Dear Abby advice column, but with all your favorite FMA characters answering all of your questions, even non-advice ones! Review with a question and they'll answer ASAP.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so, this was originally (? maybe?) done by Wicket-san for Fruits Basket, and she said that it was okay for me to do it for FullMetal Alchemist. Basically, it's like those "Dear Abby" columns in the newspaper or whatever, except your favorite characters from FMA will be answering your questions about anything…anything within reason, that is. So just put your question into a review, and I'll answer them as fast as possible (I'll probably have a column up Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, as long as there's enough to answer), and there'll be several Q&As per column. Or chapter. Whatever you want to call it. If you want a specific character to answer, just put it in the question, otherwise whoever wants to will answer it :0 So watch out ;) I'm looking forward to this and hope that people partake in and enjoy this!

**BakaKonekoRKL**


	2. Chapter 2

I'm happy that so many people (5 is a lot? Lol) seem to have taken interest in this already! Let's get started, then! Oh, and I think that I'm going to censor cursing, since this _is _rated K+

This is a question for Ed lol. Who is his favorite FMA girl and would he ever consider settling down with someone when he gets older? (if so I'm available ...joking lol)

I would also like to ask him why he doesn't like milk lol I mean it does help increase your height.

caspercat22

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE CAN DO BACKFLIPS UNDER HIS BED!?!?!?!?

**Al & Winry: She never said that, Ed…**

**Ed: YOU'RE JUST ALL GIANTS, I TELL YOU!!!**

**Al: …Well, I think that Brother just doesn't like the taste of milk. Something about being a gross, opaque liquid or something…**

**Winry: And as for your other question, I'm pretty sure that Ed isn't all that into girls at this time. He's trying to work on his growing issue right now.**

**Ed: **(glaring at Winry)** I SAID I AM NOT SHORT!!!**

**Winry: Well, we all know that it's true that you are, shorty!**

Al: Um…I guess she might be right, but _I_ think that he kinda likes Winry. He thinks that she's really cute…when she's not beating him over his head with her wrench…Oh, speaking of which…

Dear Ed,  
I have this friend, who I really REALLY like, and I kinda want to go out with him. But, one of my best friends broke up with him for a really stupid reason half a year ago, and is being a real jerk to him and calling him gay (which he is definitely NOT). She refuses to talk to him, and now he refuses to talk to her. But I want to stay both of their friends. So should I confess my love to him, or let it slide in the sake of friendship?

Thanks -Really Desperate Girl/Wolf tailed Alchemist

Ed: Wha-? Why would you think I'm good at stuff like this?

Al: Aw, c'mon, Brother! I bet you've got some good advice!

Ed: ……Well, I don't know. I guess if it was me I'd see which one I cared more about first and go from there. If I was more in love with the guy-wait, if it was _me_ it'd be a girl, right?

Mustang: (smirking) I always knew you were gay…

Ed: SHUT UP! I corrected myself! Anyway, if I was more in love with the _girl_, I'd tell her that I liked her, but if I was better friends with the guy, I'd probably let it slide.

Winry: And we all know how complicated love is. Well, most of us, anyway. So no matter what you do, someone could get hurt, even yourself, so, like Ed said, you need to ask yourself who would forgive you first/at all if they did get hurt by any of this.

Al: See, Brother? I told you that you'd be fine!

Ed: (scratching back of his head, mumbling) Yeah, well. It was only 'cause Winry helped me out. It probably wasn't that good of an answer anyway…

Winry: Oh, Ed, you know you're romantic deep down inside!

Ed: SINCE WHEN!?!?

Al: (sigh) He just doesn't get it…

Ed, why do you act like an $$ to Winry part of the time, and how much do you like her? I know you do.

Al, are you happy in your armored body/(after body is back) are you happy in your original body or do you miss you armor body?

Winry, ... why aren't you and Ed together? I know he likes you.

sakura uzamaki

Ed: (mumbling) Why is everyone interested in my love life…?

Winry: Yeah, Ed, why _do_ you always act like an $$ to me!?

Ed: Uhm…well…Y-you know they say that people show their feelings in all different kinds of ways…

Winry: Liar.

Ed: Really!

Winry: You're just afraid of my wrench. If you _really_ loved me, you'd get me flowers or something.

Ed: (caringly) Winry…

Al: Er…I guess it's my turn? To tell the truth, I like my original body best. Though it was nice to not worry about eating and stuff like that…it saved us a lot of money, too…

HEHEHE shweet.  
This is for Envy:  
Would you kill Winry?

Envy-Forever

Winry: …WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS _THAT_!?!?

Envy: Hmm…It depends, I guess. Would it pi$$ Ed off?

Ed: H311 YES IT WOULD!!!

Envy: Then yes.

Winry: Edward……

Ed: (face palms)

Envy,  
Are you a boy or a girl?

Waya1Kakashi

Ed, Al & Winry: (stares) What _is _Envy? A transvestite?

Envy: Like I'm gonna tell you. Why would you need to know, anyway?

Riza: He's voiced by a woman, but he's really male.

Envy: You're going to die for that, woman.

Riza: Not if I shoot your head off, first. (loads gun)

Hoenheim: Let me explain further, into the final episodes of the anime. Envy was the result of when Dante and I tried to bring our son back to life. He mainly stayed in that form…that…form…that…

Ed: Palm-tree-like form?

Hoenheim: Exactly! I'm so proud of you, my son…

Ed: Back off, b$7rd. You're not off the hook yet. I still need to kick your $$.

Hoenheim: …Anyway, He stayed in his palm-tree-like form for so long that he forgot what he originally looked like, until his fight with Ed in "Death". That's when he transformed into what he really looked like, which resembled me a lot, and that led to-

Winry: Hey! Did they _ask_ for every spoiler of how the series ends? I think you've answered quite efficiently already!

Hoenheim: Ehehheh…Thanks Sarah…I mean Winry!

That's it for now! Oh, I also forgot to add, if you don't want me to put your username in after your question, let me know. I'm sorry if that happened here!!! I apologize!! I'll probably get the next column/chapter up on Monday, if I have enough questions to answer, that is…


	3. Chapter 3

Everyone's responses to your questions are supposed to be bold. Sorry if it isn't working out!!!! 

Ed  
Why does every one call you short? You're freaking tall compared to me, and we are the same age! And I agree, we are not short _they_ are just too tall. I love your short rants by the way. Hope you don't mind but I've used a few of them -bows- thank you  
Kat

**Roy: Ed? Taller than someone? Impossible!!! Hahaha!!!**

**Ed: You know, it _is_ possible.**

Winry: Truth be told, we call him short because average human beings aren't as short as he is.

**Al: Yeah. And he's only 165 cm (about 5 feet 4 inches) _with_ his radio antenna and elevator shoes. Imagine how short he'd be _without_ them!!**

**Ed: Al!!!! What kind of a brother _are_ you!?!?**

**Al: Uh….sorry, Brother!**

Dear FMA cast,  
I need advice. Ok, for Halloween I plan to cosplay Sloth. However I need the oro-whatever tattoo temporary. I don't know where to look. Help?

PS: as an unrelated issue . . . Roy, which is better, pirates or ninjas? Anyone can answer though nudges all the homunculus

LWitch

**Ed: Do they even sell temporary Oroborias tattoos?**

**Al: I don't think so…**

**Winry: You could always go online to E-Bay and see if they're selling anything of the sort there.**

**Al: And if not, you could always just draw it on yourself.**

**Ed: Or, considering where it is, have someone else draw it on you. You do realize that you're going to be freezing on Halloween?**

**Winry: Yeah, unless she lives in Florida or somewhere where it's like summer all year long.**

**Ed: ……Just shut up. Oh, and ninjas are better.**

Roy: She didn't _ask_ you. But he's right. It's a proven fact, there's even a t-shirt with it.

Gluttony: Pirates better…taste better…

All others: (stare)

This is for the Colonel Mustang and Lt. Hawkeye.

Seriously, when are you two going to give up the act and make out with each other already?

P.S. Kain, you are so cute!

TheShadowedSparrow

Riza: Me? And the Colonel? Now what would give you _that_ idea?

Roy: Come on, baby, you know you want me.

Riza: (cocks gun)

Roy: …What are you talking about, there's nothing going on between us!

Riza: (quietly) Idiot just doesn't get it…

Fuery: Oh! Um, thank you! 

I have a question for Al, just out of curiosity. Ed might get a bit annoyed at me, though... Oh and I have a question for Ed, too.

Al: How tall are you in the FMA movie when you get your body back? Just curious.  
PS. You're my favorite character!

Ed: When're you going to ask Winry out? You two are super-cute together!  
-Dark's Soul Mate

Al: Thank you very much  Oh, and all you need to know is that I'm taller than Ed.

Ed: I AM NOT SHORT!!! AND WHO SAYS I LIKE WINRY!?!?

Winry: Come on, Ed, you know you do!

Ed: Yeah, right.

Winry: Eeeeeeeeeeed! You're so mean!!! (takes out wrench)

Ed: _I'm_ mean!?

Pinako: Since this could take a while, I'll answer for them. It's obviously going to be a while, since first of all Ed is currently in Germany in another dimension which is _much_ more messed up and weirder than ours, and also because they can't seem to accept their feelings and instead deny them.

Ed: I'm not-! What did you say!?

Winry: Ed, you should listen to your elders!!!!

Okay, okay, lesse here,  
Ed

Would you rather... get your arm back, or be short forever?

Silentlamb

Ed: Well, considering I'm NOT SHORT, I'd like to get my arm back.

Winry: I think it means, would you rather get your arm back or not be short anymore.

Ed: I'm not short anyway!!!!!!!!!!! So the answer stays the same.


	4. Chapter 4

I was a little afraid to show this first one to Ed… I think everything is testing the K+ness of this story…lol. Sorry if I get peoples' genders wrong, I'm just working with what I've got! 

In my opinion, there is way too much Ed/Winry, so, I've got a question for Ed. "When are you going to stop denying how you feel and tackle Roy and have hot, steamy office $3X?" Please add it? I'm a huge RoyEd fan.

Alykat2007

Ed: … 

**Roy: Yeah, Ed, when are you planning to fulfill that _promise_ to me?**

**Ed: WHAT KIND OF DRUGS DO YOU PEOPLE TAKE!?**

**Winry: Ed… **(sniff)** I thought…we had something…**

**Ed: Don't listen to him!!!**

**Roy: Aww, are you too _embarrassed_ to tell her?**

**Winry: Tell me _what_?**

**Ed: …Y-yeah, tell her _what_?**

**Roy: Oh, you know. Come on, Ed, we've got to tell the fans that we've already done it.**

**Winry: Ed!!! Why didn't you ever tell me that you were gay? I would've understood!**

**Ed: I AM NOT GAY!!! THIS GUY IS INSANE!**

**Roy: He came willingly, too. I didn't even have to use any drugs…**

**Ed: What the h311 are you TALKING about?????? Did you come to work H1GH again!?!?**

**Riza: Okay, that's enough. You're beginning to frighten people. And confuse them. And _you_ **(indicates Roy)** have a lot of work to do.**

**Roy: Aw, c'mon! I was having fun!**

**Riza: **(cocks gun) **_Now._**

Roy: Y-yes ma'am! 

For Ed: Do you have a favorite weapon?  
...that's all for now

silver candle

Ed: Does Alchemy count, or do I have to choose a physical weapon? 

**Winry: My favorite weapon's a wrench!**

**Ed: We already know that, Win. And she wasn't even asking you!**

**Winry: Well……NOBODY ASKED YOU!**

**Ed: Yeah. She did.**

**Winry: No, Ed, I mean like-Oh, never mind.**

**Ed: Well, I use Alchemy to make basically all of my weapons. My favorite one it the "arm sword", I guess you could call it, since I use it the most.**

**Winry: "'Arm sword'"…?**

**Ed: …O-of course, I'd _never_ use my automail arm to make it!…**

For Ed: If you hate being so short, why don't you just have Winry make you stilts or something?  
-Akunen

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE NEEDS TO LOOK UP TO LOOK DOWN!?!?**

**Al & Winry: She didn't say that, Ed.**

**Ed: ……Whatever. Well, basically, it'd be too hard to fight with stilts on.**

**Winry: And if I made his automail leg longer, he'd be off balance and probably get scoliosis. **(Authoress Interjection, or A/I This is true. My one leg is half an inch longer than the other and I now have to wear a back brace for 6 months)

**Al: And anyway, he wears elevator shoes that make him several inches taller. Not like it does much for him, though…**

**Ed: SHUT UP, ALPHONSE!!**

That's it? Aw man : I'd like 5 questions a column, but I can't wait any longer to put this up! Please, some new questions for next chapter? Till then!


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, people, leave Ed alone. For one thing, even if he _was_ short, you're just jealous 'cause Ed's smarter than you. Equivalent Exchange people. That's why you're so tall Roy... you have the attention span, and maturity, of an earthworm. No offense to the worm :P.  
Winry, why are you always hitting Ed with a wrench? I, personally, don't know how you take it Ed!!  
Oh, and Al you are SO CUTE. Sorry, just had to say it.  
Ed, you are hott. Roy is nott. Seriously, why is he the lady's man or whatever? Ed might be a little TINY bit short, but I mean, come on... he's smart, talented, he's got money, power (well, he IS a major), so, ya...  
Don't worry Roy, you're not ugly, just OLD. ha.  
Just so you know, Ed, you have TONS of fangirls. If you see one, run. They swarm...  
And yes, I am an Ed fangirl.  
Just not a crazy one...

Fullmetal Fangrl

**Ed: Told you I'm not short.**

**Roy: Even though you obviously are.**

**Ed: Hey! You're just upset because I'm so much cooler than you!**

**Roy: But that's just one person's opinion.**

**Ed: Yeah, but I bet I have more fangirls than you do! (thanks for the advice, by the way. I'll remember it next time I have an encounter with any)**

**Al: Um…can I just say thanks?**

**Winry: I just wanna say that Ed deserves it-**

**Ed & Roy: NO.**

**Winry: -most of the time?**

**Al: Um…okay…**

**Roy: Anyway, I'm sure that I have many more fangirls than you. And anyway, I _am_ smarter than Ed…**

**Ed: Are not.**

**Roy: …and mature…**

**Ed: Liar.**

**Roy: …and I'm not really old, either. I'm only 29.**

**Ed: He's ancient…**

**Roy: **(glaring at Ed) **Do you have something to say to me, FullMetal?**

**Ed: Nope.**

**Roy: Good. This conversation is over.**

Dear FMA peoples,

for Edward Elric:  
1. Next time someone is foolish enough to think you are short (you aren't, I know) you could try saying something along the lines of "I'm not short, I'm fun sized". I know someone who actually _is_ short, and it makes her feel better to be smart aleck-ey.  
2. I feel for you, having to put up with Winry's hitting you on the head. My sis is the same way (machine loving and all).   
3. Just how many wrench-induced concussions have you got from Winry so far? Just curious.  
4. My sister say "hi, shortie! hee hee" (don't listen to her! she doesn't know what she says! oh great, now she's after me with the pliers)

For Winry Rockbell:  
1. I got a sis who acts a lot like you. Kinda scary when she's mad.  
2. She says "Hi" and she likes your tools. She feels you are justified at bopping Ed when he breaks his automail, and sometimes does something similar to me. She would write herself, but she doesn't have an account here.

To Alphonse Elric:  
1. Hi.  
2. Want a kitten? My cat just had a litter. Ed probably wouldn't let you keep one, though.  
3. My sister says to say "hi" for her, otherwise, she'll pinch my nose off with the pliers she's holding. O.O She also says to say that she likes cats too. You are her favorite character

to Roy Mustang:  
1. Could you be a little nicer to Ed sometimes?  
2. I'd procrastinate a little less if I were you. One day, Riza's gonna get you.  
3. My sis says "hi"

to Riza Hawkeye:  
1. I applaud your unwavering loyalty to colonel and country, no matter how cracked they may be. lol.  
2. I also applaud the fact that you are not afraid to be strict with col. Mustang even if he does out rank you.

3. My sis says "hi"

That is all for now. Rest assured I vill be back. Muahahaha. (aliveinchrsit13's sister: don't listen to her, she's just insane)

aliveinchrist13.

**Let's take this one at a time, shall we?**

**Ed's Questions:**

**Ed: Nice comeback. I'll add that to my mental list of comebacks.**

**Winry: If people call you short so much that you need to keep a list of comebacks, then you probably _are_ short. At least a little.**

**Ed: Am not.**

**Winry: All I'm-**

**Ed: ANYWAY, I know how annoying Winry can be-**

**Winry: Hey! I am NOT annoying!**

**Ed: -so I feel for you. But if your sister really _is_ a lot like Winry, then she must be a really great person.**

**Winry: Ed…you're making me blush…**

**Ed: And I get a _lot_ of concussions. Too many to count. And for that comment, I think that _you_ should hit _your sister_ on _her_ head with a wrench. Like I said, no short people here!**

**Winry's Questions:**

**Winry: Tell your sister "hi" back for me! And I'm not _that_ scary when I'm mad…am I?**

**Ed & Al: Yeah…just a little…**

**Winry: Oh…well, anyway…tell your sister good luck in her work and let me know if she ever makes any automail! Of course, it won't be better than _my_ beautiful works of art…right?**

**Alphonse's Questions:**

**Al: Hello:3 And hi to your sister, too, and thanks. I'd love a kitten!!! Oh, can I, Brother?**

**Ed: No.**

**Al: Why not????**

**Ed: You _know_ why not! We can't care for a kitten! Haven't we been over this already?**

**Al: …Maybe…**

**Ed: "Maybe"?**

**Al: …A few times…**

**Ed: "A few"?**

**Al: Okay, okay, fine!**

(meowing from inside Al's armor)

**Ed: …What was that?**

**Al: N-nothing!!!**

**Ed: What _was_ it, Al?**

**Al: Um…my stomach growling?**

**Ed: Open it.**

**Al: I don't wanna!!**

**Ed: Now, Al!**

**Al: **(running away)** Brother! You're so heartless!**

**Ed: Al! You're gonna hurt the kitten!**

**Mustang's Questions:**

**Roy: Me? Be nicer to Ed? That's a laugh.**

**Ed: I'm just waiting for karma to kick in…**

**Roy: And anyway, I'm not afraid of Riza! I'm her superior!**

**Riza: **(cocks gun)** Oh, really, sir?**

**Roy: U-um…m-moving on…Tell your sister "hi" back…if she's cute ;3**

**Riza: You're impossible…**

**Riza's Questions:**

**Riza: Thank you. You really don't know what I have to go through to get this idiot to get his paperwork and other work done each day. It's terrible.**

**Roy: Perhaps, but doesn't seeing my handsome face every day cheer you up?**

**Riza: …**(thinking) _Yes…_ (speaking) **What would give you that insane notion?**

**Roy: You know you want me.**

**Riza: See what I mean? I have to put up with this _all day long_.**

For Roy:  
Since there is plenty of evidence that you do nothing but fight and relied on Hughes or Hawkeye for EVERYTHING, how did you get in charge of things? I mean did Hughes have dirt on EVERYONE and just let you trickle it out to get promoted, because you're a pretty lousy leader (and being in the military, I KNOW lousy leaders)?

For Greed:  
Man, what the H311? You had great people working for you (outside of that $$ Kimbley and psycho Tucker) and you just rolled over. Seriously, why? The little blonde guy could have used the help and you surely could have hid out with your buddies until Lust, Wrath and Sloth. I mean, you could have at least helped out Lust. You could have taken care of each other's weakness and then been set. Weak guy. Just weak.

Laterz,

ordinary Joe

**Roy: Because I'm awesome.**

**Riza: Give a _real_ answer. You have work to do.**

**Roy: …Okay, well first off, I'm not _that_ bad a leader.**

**Ed: Yes you are.**

**Roy: No, I'm not.**

**Ed: Yes you-**

**Roy: Ahem. As I was saying. I don't rely on my friends for _everything_, either. If they're willing to support me and give me information that will help me reach my goal, that's their choice. And fighting has more to do with it than you think. You can't be in my position and be a crappy fighter. Also, you have to be intelligent and brave. Which I am. I'm pretty sure that my only weak point is that I have trouble doing my paperwork on time, right?**

**Riza: Speaking of which…**

**Greed: …No comment.**

**Ed: You can't just say "no comment"!**

**Greed: I think that I can. I'm not going to stand around and be insulted.**

**Tucker: **(whispering, as usual) **And who are you calling psycho? All I ever wanted to do was bring my precious Nina back to life…**

**Ed: Yeah. After you condemned her to death.**

**Greed: And why would I want to help out Lust and the others? I left their little "group" for a reason, you know. I'm not quite saying that I _hate_ them, I just don't _like_ them. They were holding me back, you know? So I got my own little group. Where I could do whatever I felt like. And I don't really care for other people; I'm just out for myself. "Greed", get it?**

Sorry I didn't have them answer the rest of the reviews from the last chapter, I just wanted to save them for the next one in case I'm running low. Also, it doesn't have to be about FMA. So if you're sitting there wondering why your cat is attacking your refrigerator (like I am right now) you can ask and maybe Al can find the answer in one of his many cat books! So don't hesitate!


	6. Chapter 6

**I love how I'm getting more reviews for _this_ than for actual stories…lol.**

I've got another question! It's for Jean Havoc (I love him!!).  
How do you feel about Roy stealing all your girlfriends?  
And one for Denny Bloch, too (I like him too!)  
Do you realize that you have the same hairstyle as Ed at the front? lol  
thanks a bunch

caspercat22  
p.s. my apologies to ed for calling him short, I didn't mean to lol. In my eyes, he's as tall as a mountain (more or less).

**Havoc: **(crying) **Why did she have to leave me for _him_?**

**Ed: I AM NOT SHORT!!!**

**Havoc: Why? Why? Why? She told me that she loved me! **(As you can see, he's very upset about the matter)

**Bloch: We do? **(Him and Ed look at each other)** Hey, we do! Well, I'm not surprised. It _is_ a very popular haircut here in Central!**

**Havoc: Whyyyyyy?**

XD Oh, I'll take a break on picking on Ed.  
Ed: How do you keep your hair so perfect?  
Armstrong: Just how much do you spend on shirts per month? o.o;

Akunen

Everyone: Oh no… 

**Armstrong: I, ALEX LOUIS ARMSTRONG, SPEND NO ADDITIONAL MONEY ON SHIRTS! SEWING HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINES FOR GENERATIONS, SO I—**

**Ed: Um…okay…we get it…Anyway, my magnificent hair is naturally perfect!**

**Winry: Maybe it's compensation for something?**

**Ed: Huh? You say something, Win?**

**Winry: Oh, nothing…**

I have two questions!

Hey Havoc, how come you don't have any skills with the ladies like Roy? And why do you always, _always_ let the Colonel take every girlfriend, crush, etc. you ever had in your life? Seriously man, stand up for yourself!

And Roy (or Colonel Smex as me and my friends call him), where did you get those mad skills with the ladies anyways?

TheShadowedSparrow

**Havoc: **(still crying) **WHY IS EVERYONE PICKING ON ME TODAY!!??**

**Roy: Maybe you should take the day off…?**

**Havoc: Okay…**

**Roy: Now, _I_ can answer that question for you! Those girls are obviously more attracted to _me_. I'm just too naturally irresistible! Hahaha!**

**Havoc: Colonel!!! You're not helping!!!**

**Roy: No, I suppose not. Well, it's not _my_ fault that they love me more than you! Haha!**

**Havoc: I'm going home…**

Both me and my friend are going to ask Lust and Wrath a couple questions... both of them at the same time... (and one Ed...)  
1. Do you two hate each other?  
2. Wrath, what would you do if Lust kissed you on the cheek and you had lipstick on your face from it? (from my Valentine's story XP)  
3. Would you two ever be like a brother and sister?  
4. What would Wrath do if he was thrown into the air by Al and landed face first into Lust's chest? (Got it from a story... Love potion #9 LOL!)  
5. (Last question from me) Lust do you ever miss Scar? 

Okay... Hoshi-Ryuu's turn...  
1. Wrathy-kun, why do you hate it when infants cry so much? They don't kill you for crying out loud!  
2. ...Wanna be friends?  
3. Can you kick Envy for me?  
4. This is for Ed, Why won't you let Al have the kitten?!

Shoushin and Hoshi-Ryuu

Wrath: Yes we hate each other!!! I hate everything!!! Except for my mommy :3 

**Lust: …Whatever you say, kid. Oh, and I don't give out kisses that easily.**

**Wrath: I don't WANNA be a brother to her!!!!!!!**

**Lust: And if you EVER mention the fourth question again…let's just say **(nails grow to talons). **I do miss Scar, though, I'll give you that. I don't really know. I should never have let my feelings get in the way…**

**Wrath: I don't like it when babies cry because _I_ was a baby when I was brought back to life, so I guess that you could say that it reminds me of what I _should _have been. And that just p1$$3$ me off!!**

**Lust: Doesn't everything, though?**

**Wrath: Shut up! I don't wanna be friends, either! And…Well, okay, maybe I'll kick Envy. But just because I don't like _him_ either!**

**Ed: Okay, shut up, you two! Now it's my turn. Well, basically, like I said, we can't take care of a cat with all of the traveling that we do. A pet requires too much time, and anyway, we're always getting into trouble and it would $uck if the cat got hurt or killed. I'm not doing it because I'm mean!!!**

Hi guys! I'm back!  
Al, I know you want a cat and Ed won't let you, but why don't you get a cat and ask a friend to take care of it when you're on missions? That way it's still yours!:)And the advice I gave Ed? Same to you Al, RUN. Armor or not...

Oh, and Al, my sister says to tell you she is your BIGGEST fan.  
Ha. She has NO IDEA, she's no fangirl. Just a fan.  
Roy. YOU. ARE. SO. NOT. MATURE. Why do I say you're not mature? You're a womanizer. _Very_ maturerolls eyes. But you are a good leader. I'll give you that. And you're not ugly. But Ed is SO much better. And cooler. You obviously have failed to realize that.   
Oh, and Ed, if somebody calls you short (or a kid) just say "At least I'm smarter than you, not that that's saying much." or if it's Roy, "At least I'm still young, you old bastard"  
Ok, Roy, I'll give you something else: you're not old.  
Yet. But you sure ACT old. And you're just as old as my step-dad. Almost my dad's age. Which is just CREEPY.  
Winry, ever hear of the song Ugly Girl? Ya, don't go watch it on YouTube. There are some serious Winry-bashers out there. I don't see why... you and Ed aren't together... are you?!  
I hope not. Then you would be mauled by Ed fangirls. And no amount of wrenches could save you from THAT.  
I was wondering HOW could Ed deserve being given a concussion right after getting hurt, sheesh.  
Roy, you will be smarter than Ed when pigs fly through the roof and assassinate the Fuhrer in the name of the overlord of the Lizards.  
Wow, that was Random. But true :P  
Ok, lastly, Roy, you do have fangirls.  
But Ed has more. Actually, some of us like you both.  
I know 3 Roy fangirls. 1 emo, 1 slightly emo, 1 normal(ish).  
I know... hmm... 12 Ed fangirls, at least. And that isn't even including Internet friends. I think 2 are slightly emo. And 4 of them are psychotic. Not crazy, just you know... obsessed.  
That's why you run, Ed. And ALL of you are lucky no psychotics have found this. BAD things happen. Kidnappings, sometimes. IF you get off lucky...  
Riza, I really sympathize with the whole 'Roy doesn't do paperwork' thing, but you don't show people affection by shooting at them. You really should go on a date with Roy, too. If he does anything, just shoot him. Simple.   
(Al, you should hook up with Winry. I think you guys are so cute!!)

Fullmetal Fangrl

**Ed: ……I…don't even know what to say to all of this.**

**Al: But you heard what she said about the kitten, right? Right?**

**Ed: We're not getting one, Al!**

**Al: But why not?**

**Ed: …Because…Ugh, it's too much to explain to you right now! Because I said so!**

**Al: Brother!!!! You're so mean!!!**

**Roy: And why do you have to pick on me? What did I ever do to you?**

**Ed: Yea, I mean, he's not my favorite person on Earth, but he's not _that _bad.**

**Al: Hey!! Don't change the subject!**

**Winry: Um…I don't have a computer, but thanks for the advice anyway…**

**Al: And to tell the truth, I don't really like her like that anymore. **(whispering) **I think that Brother does, though…**

**Ed & Winry: What was that?**

**Al: Oh, um, nothing. So, what about that cat?**

**Ed: I said no Al!**

**Winry: Oh, why don't you let him get the ****dmn**** cat?**

**Ed: **(face palms)** How many times do I have to go through this??? Because we can't care for it, and if he left it at someone's house he'll hardly ever see it, so what's the point of that??**

**Winry: I guess that's true…**

**Al: I thought you were on my side:**

**Riza: I'm not going to date the Colonel. I'm not _trying_ to show him "affection", anyway, so as long as the methods work, I'll use them.**

Have three questions for Wrath. First one is, do you want to be Ed and Al's brother or something cause you thought Sloth was your Mom and ya, second, do you like to be called Moofy, and the third is from my sis, how do t-rex's lay down, and how do they sleep, cause ya, you don't see them sitting ever in like TV shows so ya?

Moofyfan

**Wrath: …What the-!…How should I know how t-rexes sleep!? And NO I don't like being called Moofy!! My name is Wrath! WRATH!!**

Izumi: Since he's having another fit, I'll answer the first question. No, he does not want to be Ed and Al's brother, but rather, he chose Sloth as a mother because he had abandoned all thoughts of me being his mom, yet still needed a mother figure because that is what he had lost when he became a homunculus. Sloth, on the other hand, had lost children when she became a homunculus, so taking this "boy" under her wing was a natural reaction.

**Wrath: Why do you have to know everything!?!?!**

_I'll finish up the next 4 next time! Don't worry, it's just for space purposes. Plus, in case there's no reviews for this chapter, or a small amount, I still want the story to go on. I apologize; I was a bit off today. Between the delayed opening and my friend's mom dying……my day has been a bit complicated and perhaps why the responses aren't as good or long as usual. It was all that I could come up with._

_**Anyway, more questions are always welcome! Check out some of my other stories, too, will ya? I'm guessing that you guys like humor, so "Clash of T3h Animes" is always available. If not, I'm working on finishing up "The Ghost of Me" as we speak!**_


	7. Chapter 7

looking at all the new reviews 0o What have I gotten myself into? Lol. Just be patient, everyone, as it may take a day or something for things to show up. I'll rant more later. For now, though, let's see what everyone has to say to your queries:

I've this to ask Ed. Ed, would you turn Sloth human if you could after turning Al human if you had enough Stone left? She would be your mother.

Harryswoman

Ed: No, I wouldn't. Frankly, I've given up on that wish.

**Al: Also, she wouldn't _really _be like our mom. I don't think so, anyway. Because we'd know the difference.**

**Ed: So it really wouldn't be the same. I mean, I guess if we could have done it a few years ago we would have, but not now, after we've learned and grown so much.**

Okay, Homunculi. Time to get serious.  
Greed: Aside from the fact that I love you, let's get one thing straight. You shouldn't have let yourself be killed by FullMetal. Really.  
Envy: I love you too, but you remind me (a lot) of Ed. Really. You're both in need of anger management classes.  
Lust: You're a pretty cool baddie. But seriously, don't kill your big brother Greed. After all, he is the least cruel of you lot. XD  
Gluttony: Have a ham sandwich hands one over  
Pride: Oo; I've got nothing to say to you.  
Wrath: GIVE BACK ED'S LEG AND ARM!  
Sloth: You should be nicer to your sons. Ed and Al need a mommy.

So there you have it. Also, I want to tackle Greed. XD

redwalgrl-RG

**Gluttony: **(eats sandwich in one bite)

**Greed: I've never felt such a mixture of emotions…**

**Wrath: NO! They're mine now! If he wants them back, he's gonna have to fight me for them! I'M NOT GIVING THEM BACK!**

**Envy: Oh, really? Is _that_ what you think? I _really_ remind you of that _brat_?**

**Pride: You really think I'm going to let you get away with saying nothing at all to me? **(he _is_ Pride, after all…)

Lust: Thanks…but I never killed Greed. That was the FullMetal boy.

**Greed: Right. In Dante's house. She set up the circle and everything, remember?**

**Sloth: They're not really my sons…but it _is_ a _great_ thing to use against them.**

Dear Winry,  
How many wrenches do you own and what do you think of Ed?

Dear Ed,  
Why are you so moody most of the time? You should smile more. And I just wanna know how tall are you? Oh and let Al have a cat!!

Dear Al,  
Your brother is being stupid for not letting you have a cat. Is there any reason why you want one so bad? Well anyway I'll give you one!  
kuri-chan

Ed: WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO ASK ABOUT MY HEIGHT!!! I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I. AM. NOT. SHORT!!!!!

**Winry: Heh heh…Ed's about 165 centimeters (about 5 feet, 4 inches), but that's with his elevator shoes and antenna-like hair.**

**Ed: WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO SAYING THAT?????**

**Al: Calm down…**

**Ed: Well, maybe I'd be less moody if first off, people stopped about my height, and secondly, stopped bugging me to let Al get a cat!!!**

**Winry: Not this again…**

**Al: Well why _not_? Everyone agrees with me!**

**Ed: Not _everyone_!**

**Al: I'll bet they do!**

**Ed: Well it doesn't matter, because we. Are. Not. Getting. A. Cat!!!**

(erupts into an Alchemy war)

Winry: Umm…Well…I actually have a lot of wrenches, all different sizes for all kinds of jobs. My favorite one is-

**Ed & Al: **(stop their fighting and cover Winry's mouth so she can't speak)

Al: Anyway…To answer the rest of your question, I just want a cat because they're so cute and friendly and loveable and-

**Ed: **(puts his remaining hand over Al's mouth so he can't speak) **It's better not to get these two started on these subjects…**

**Al & Winry: Mhhhmmhmph!!! Mhhhmmph! Mhhhhph mmmmmph mmmhhhhhph!!!!!!**

Ed:  
1. This may sound kind of morbid, but when you died, did you bleed to death or did envy's arm screw up your internal organs or something?  
2. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO USE SO MANY DAMN CLICHES IN EPISODE 1!  
3. You know you like Winry. Just admit it already. In my fics I take it for granted.  
4. On the night you resurrected your mom, you had short hair. A year later, you had a braid. HOW DOES HAIR GROW THAT FAST?

Al:  
1. U R so cute!  
2. However I'm really pi$$3d off because you borrowed Ed's clothes in the movie. ED'S TRADEMARK OUTFIT! NOT YOURS! YOU STOLE IT!  
3. I like kittens too, but bunnies are better.

Riza:  
1. Shame on you! Spare the paperwork and save a tree!  
2. I like your methods for dealing with Roy though.  
3. I also think that RoyRiza is meant to be.

Winry:  
1. BAKING is a science, but COOKING is an art!  
2. Does your wrench have a name?  
3. All credit to you for fixing Ed's automail and saving his $$.

Roy:  
1. Nice short jokes.  
2. Repeat after me. "Dogs. Are. Not. Meant. To. Do. Paperwork."

Gluttony:  
1. We have so much in common...  
2. Lust. Is. Not. Your. Mommy.

Lust:  
1. Leave silicone to the Livestrong bracelets, my friend.

Everyone:  
1. YOU ARE ALL JUST CHARACTERS IN A MANGA/ANIME! IN YOUR FACE!

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite

Ed: …We may just be characters, but if we were real, we wouldn't be talking to pretend people. Just so ya know.

**Winry: Yeahhh……**

**Ed: Um…That's really an interesting question. Well, the fact that Envy's arm went through my body kind of did it, though at the same time I loss massive amounts of blood…So I'm not really sure. Probably Envy, though. Oh, and about Winry, why can't people just leave us alone? It's not like we're going to tell you or anything.**

**Winry: **(whispering so Ed can't hear) **But he _is_ really cute. Even though he's a little short.**

Ed: Um, as for my hair…I guess it could grow that fast. Yeah, sure, let's go with that.

**Al: Um…I don't know what to say…Well, thank you, first off, but I didn't really "steal" Brother's look…He kind of left it to me…And personally, cats are my favorites, but rabbits are cute as well :3**

**Winry: Um… what does cooking and baking have to do with anything, anyway?**

**Ed: Can you even cook?**

**Winry: YES!!! Actually, I'm a pretty good cook, if I do say so myself.**

**Ed: Just because you've never blown up the house doesn't mean that you're a good cook…**

**Winry: EDWAAAARD!!! **(takes out wrench)

**Ed: H-hey, I was just kidding! Come on! I ate that pie you made, remember?**

**Winry: …Fine. You're off the hook. Anyway. No, I don't name my tools, but thank you : I don't know where he'd be if it wasn't for me…**

**Riza: It's not my fault that paperwork is the majority of the Colonel's job. If I don't get him to do it, he might get fired.**

**Roy: Yeah right.**

**Riza: You would and you know it.**

**Roy: …I come up with the _best_ short jokes. Right, Full-Mini Alchemist?**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GRAIN OF RICE!?!?**

**Roy: See? And dogs can do anything. Even paperwork.**

**Gluttony: Lust…?**

**Lust: Don't listen to her. What _is_ a "Livestrong Bracelet" anyway?**

**Al: Does it have to do with Armstrong?**

Ok Envy,  
Let me start by saying that you're my favorite character and you're totally awesome andcute!!  
Secondly, my fav. pairing is Envy/Ed. What do you think about that??  
Also, just for all the ExE fans out there, give Ed a kiss! I'll freak him (Ed) out! XP

You loyal, not crazy, fangirl  
Sweetkittens

**Ed & Envy: **(look at each other) **EW! NO WAY!**

**Al: B-brother?**

**Ed: What the h311!?!?**

**Envy: What makes you think I'd EVER like that FullMetal pipsqueak!? I hate his guts!**

**Ed: Do you really think that if he loved me he would've killed me!?!? And I hate him, too!**

**Envy: Let's agree to never speak of this again.**

**Ed: Agreed.**

_I wish I could put another review onto this one, but I'm afraid there's just not enough time. I have to study for an algebra test that I'm going to fail anyway because I write FMA fanfiction in class every day…Speaking of which, I just finished "The Ghost of Me"- check it out! 'Till next time!_


	8. Chapter 8

Just because there's already a lot of stuff to answer, don't let that discourage you from asking questions!

Wrath you made Hoshi-Ryuu cry... also... I know you don't care about making her cry but... I do...

alright... anyway... -holds up Lust figure- Lust did you know there's figures of you going around the world??

This is for Al- Alphonse do you want this kitty that has it's soul bound to armor too? -holds Armor kitty up- ( Hey it's a good kitty, you don't need to worry about it dying or it needing food)

Shoushin

Wrath: Well…she was weird… 

**Lust: Um. That's great. But not as good as the original.**

**Al: That would solve all our problems!!**

**Ed: No.**

**Al: WHY NOT??? BROTHER!!!!**

**Ed: I SAID "NO!" NOW JUST DROP IT, AL!**

**Al: You're so mean!!!! **(runs off. With the kitten)

Ed: Al!!!! Wait, come back!!! 

Okay, now. I have a question for...hmm…

Al- Does it suck having to be in the armor all the time?

...glares at Wrath

Wrath- When are you gonna become...ya know...good again?

Roy- (this is a command) Go join a Conga line.

Riza- Can I have Black Hayate? If you don't want him anymore I mean…

Envy- Can't you wear something besides a miniskirt!?

Elysia- If Daddy isn't around, do you wanna hang with me sometime?

(Note: I am a girl, so you guys don't think I'm crazy or something...just saying..)

Tringham Brothers-

1. Russell, Do you always have to use Ed's identity for things like...books?

2. Fletcher- …If Russell misbehaves again…smack him one for me. 

Okay, me done. Thankies to all of you, I MIGHT be back!

Hoshi-Ryuu

Al: Well, it depends. Sometimes. Like when Greed kidnapped me. That wasn't really fun, and it wouldn't have happened if I wasn't armor. But, I mean, considering that it saves us money and stuff, I guess that it can be okay sometimes. Plus, I'm harder to kill or hurt in battle :3

**Wrath: Who says I have to do anything????? I _am _Wrath.**

**Roy: …It depends. If I do, do I get to see Riza in a miniskirt?**

**Riza: **(aims gun at Roy)

Roy: Sorry, but I'm going to have to decline.

**Riza: Sorry, but I like him just fine.**

**Envy: …IT'S NOT A MINISKIRT!!!!**

**Everyone: It totally is.**

**Envy: …$cr3w you all.**

**Elysia: Okies!!! **

**Russell: Seeing as I _can_, yes.**

**Ed: Would you stop that!?!?!**

**Russell: What are _you _gonna do about it, shorty?**

**Ed: I AM NOT SMALL! OR TINY! OR PUNY!**

**Everyone: Okay, okay, we get it…**

**Fletcher: Um…no…I couldn't do that to him…though I do feel the same about you about using Ed and Al's identities…**

Hey Ed, have you ever considered that if you lost your other leg, you could get Winry to make your automail legs taller, so you could be taller?

Roy, is Flame Alchemy the only Alchemy you do?

Winry, why do you always throw stuff at Ed? I mean c'mon, you can't hit a face that cute!

animeroxsmyworld

Winry: Yes I can. Especially considering I've known him forever. The effect kind of wears off.

Ed: If I was willing to lose yet another body part, then that would be a good idea. Even though I'm definitely NOT SHORT. But still, I lost my arm and leg for a reason. I don't want to lose another leg for nothing.

Winry: It wouldn't be for nothing. It would make you taller.

Ed: I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I. AM. NOT-

Winry: Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all already. And anyway, you could have yet _another_ beautiful work of automail attached to you! Sure, I'd have to spend more time on getting it done, but it would be so wonderful once it was finished! And-

Ed: Um…Winry?

Roy: My flames are my favorite. That's why I always use them. But I could do something else, I suppose, if I really had to. I've just never had to before.

Oh, and another question for everyone:

Do y'all watch Naruto or Fruits Basket? (or would you, if you were in a universe where it existed?)

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite

Ed: What the h311 are those?

Winry: Beats me. Do you know, Al?

Al: Nope.

Roy: Why would I want to watch a fruit basket? You used bad grammar there, by the way.

Riza: Isn't Naruto a type of sushi?

Fallman: Yes, so I don't see why someone would want to watch it.

Gluttony: I'd eat them…

Everyone else: Yeah…I probably would, too.

Ed: It's better than watching them, anyway.

Winry: WAY better. I love fruit 3

Al: You're just making fun of me because I can't eat!!!

Roy: You know, if I used that kind of grammar in my reports, I'd get fired…

Sorry 'bout that last one guys, it was my crazy friend, not me.  
--  
She's a crazy Ed-fangirl. So ya, I let her use my computer and forgot to log off so she just decided to 'prank' me, whatever...  
sighs   
She also exaggerated. A LOT.  
But she HATES Roy. Dunno why. I was only kidding Roy, you're not old, actually I think you're awesome. My second fav. character. If you don't count my OC...  
Ed, you should let Al get a cat.  
WAIT A MINUTE.  
Are you AFRAID of cats or something? I mean you seem really against it... What's the big deal, anyways?  
(Al- try puppy dog eyes... it somehow works, armor or not)  
Winry, umm... just out of curiosity, did Ed ever get amnesia from your wrench? It's possible after all...  
Envy, you DO realize a skort is a girl thing, right? Which makes you a cross-dressing palm tree? How did you get fangirls?  
Roy, do you think you'll ever hook up with anybody? Like marriage?

Fullmetal Fangrl

Everyone: NEVER LET HER USE YOUR COMPUTER AGAIN.

Ed: NO I'M NOT AFRAID OF CATS!!

Al: …I think you are.

Ed: Al!

Al: Come on!! What's the big deal!

Ed: …Don't even try the puppy dog eyes, either. Winry's gotten me used to them. I'm invulnerable.

Al: Pleeeeeeeeease??

Ed: No.

Winry: No, but I have given him several concussions.

Ed: I don't remember that…

Al: HEY! Don't try to change the subject!!!

Winry: Of course you don't. That's because you were knocked out. Hmmm, I guess I _did_ give you amnesia, then!

Al: Are you guys even listening to me???

Envy: What is WITH you people today!??! Like I said before, $cr3w you.

Roy: Maybe… (eyes shift suspiciously)

This is for any of the cast

My best friend and I had an argument about him insulting one of my older friends and now he wont speak or even look at me anymore. Even my older friend won't talk anymore. What do I do?

P.S.  
I always seem to insult a character at some point lol. Sorry for the insults. hugs Jean Havoc Don't worry Havoc, one day you'll find a girl who will love you to pieces and wont prefer Mustang.

As for Mustang, sure you're great looking, but that doesn't give you the right to steal all his girlfriends. He's one of your most loyal subordinates. You should treat him better. Shame on you!

And Ed, my apologies again for the s.h.o.r.t comment, I REALLY didn't mean it. hugs Ed Oh, you're too cute!

chow for now!  
caspercat22

Winry: Don't worry. They're all just too sensitive.

Ed & Havoc: No we're not!

Havoc: But thanks for the comment 

Winry: …Whatever. Anyway, about your friends, first you should find out why your older friend is mad at you if you were defending him in the first place. That just doesn't seem to make sense to me.

Schezka: And you can just pour your heart out apologizing to them. Even if you're not really all that sorry. But I bet you are. Just say that you were stupid and you didn't mean it, and you feel really awful and you just want to be friends again. (A/N it worked for me.) They'll probably forgive you, and if not after pouring your heart out apologizing, then do they really deserve to be your friends?

_That's all for now! I only have 3 more questions for the next chapter, so get your questions in before Monday at 3pm! I was going to put the next one up, but I'm feeling sick XP So you're just going to have to wait. Plus, I'm pretty sure that some of the characters want to kill me for any "insults" that happened during this chapter…especially the ones with attitude problems. But it's not your fault. That just makes things more fun and interesting : Ta-ta for now!!_


	9. Chapter 9

_**What is with this? There've hardly been any questions lately!!!**_

Dear FMA people,  
It's me again! creepy music plays ok, I don't have as much to say this time.  
1. To Roy: I no longer dislike you for being as cruel as you are to Ed, because I have realized it's your way of fighting depression. However, would you please leave poor Lt. Havoc's girls alone for once? He's quite loyal to you and he deserves that much consideration at least.  
2. To Kain Fuery: I think you should get more screen time and more popularity, because you are awesome.

3. To Izumi-sama: you rock, plain and simply put.That's all for now. I'll probably be back to bother you again :)  
-aliveinchrist13

Roy: Someone who's not here to totally pick on me for a change. I like that. But I don't think that I'm going to listen to your request.

**Havoc :Why not!?????!?**

**Roy: Hey, I have a love life, too, you know. It's not _my_ fault that the girls I'm dating are the same girls that _you're _dating.**

Havoc: I'll bet you do know… 

**Roy: What, do you think they're going to say to me, "Oh, and by the way, I'm also going out with Havoc"? No. And obviously, I don't ask them. So it's not my fault. Maybe it's just you…**

Havoc: …Why don't I just give up? Why? 

**Fuery: Heh. Thank you. You guys don't really talk to me much – I think this is only the second time? – but when you do, you always say such nice things to me :**

**Izumi: Thank you.**

Ok question for Wrath- Do you have or want mouse?

Ed- Can you cook, cause you said Alchemy is like cooking and you can do Alchemy so ya.

Al- Why did you dress up like Ed in the movie? By the way, the outfit looks much better on you than it did on Ed. No offence to Ed.

Moofy-Fan

Wrath: Why the hell would I want a mouse?? They're stupid. 

Ed: Yeah.

**Winry: Tell the truth, Ed!**

**Ed: …Okay. Well, kind of. I can do simple things, I guess, like pancakes and rice, but not too complicated. And Alchemy was "born in the kitchen", it's not like it's exactly like cooking, though I guess they have some things in common.**

**Al: Oh, thank you! There's mixed feelings about that. Why did I do it? I dunno…No particular reason, I guess, except to remember Ed. After all, I did lose a lot of my memory, and it was still a little unsure if I'd ever see him again, so I kind of wore it in memory of him.**

Envy and Wrath and Elric lads: Any fraternal feelings? Ever? You guys are all practically brothers, you know, some more literally than others. And yes, I know that Ed and Al are all lovely and fraternally (most definitely fraternally) affectionate, and that's why I grouped you into a single category of 'Elric lads.' And what would you think, all of you including all the other characters, if a hotter Colonel than Mustang showed up? (In your face, Mustang - Colonel Studmuffin is totally hotter.)

Excessively Curious Fangirl With A Belief In Sibling Accord,

Jane Austen Girl

Ed & Al: "Elric lads"…? 

**Envy: NO.**

**Al: At least she didn't ask you if you and Brother had "feelings for each other" like someone did before…**

**Ed: Al, you are never to mention that again.**

**Envy: DOES THE FACT THAT I KILL ED JUST PASS BY YOU OR SOMETHING?!?!?! **

**Ed: Um, yeah. Do you _really _think that we like each other if we're constantly fighting to kill each other?**

**Al: Hmm, I don't know, Brother…**

**Ed: AL! Stay out of this!**

**Al: …right. Heehee!**

**Roy: Who's Colonel Studmuffin?**

**Ed: Obviously, a Colonel who's hotter than you.**

(10 seconds of silence go by)

Ed: Um…….That was awkward.

**Winry: Yeah, it was.**

**Roy: Well, anyway, that could never happen.**

**Riza: And why not?**

**Roy: Well, because I am the hottest man on the face of the Earth.**

(10 more awkward seconds)

**Ed: **(does the "awkward turtle" with his hands) **Awkward turtle!!!**

**Winry: What are you, four?**

**Ed: …Shut up.**

**Al: Um, where was this going again?**

**Ed: Who knows?**

**_As of now I have no more questions to answer. This week is gonna be a little crazy: tomorrow there'll be no column, same with Thursday. Wednesday I may or may not. It depends if I get any new questions. If I do, I _should_ be able to get a few in. The same goes for Friday. Then next week we're back to our Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule. If I get questions. Don't be afraid to ask!!! You can make them anonymous, if you wanna too…Just don't log in and sign it "Anonymous" or some weird name or something. And it can be a really stupid question, too. We all make fun of each other here…unless it's really serious. So please review!!!_**


	10. Chapter 10

**Yay! More questions!! I think that something was acting up for a little back there, so the chapters didn't update as quickly…so sorry!!! ' GOMEN!!**

I have another question. This time it's for Envy. Envy, I love you, and I hate you. You killed Ed, but I love your impersonations. Anyway, if you had to kill Roy like you killed Hughes, what person would you chose? I love you too, Roy, but I love Ed more.

Harryswoman

**Roy: See? It's not _my_ fault that everyone loves me!**

**Havoc: Shut up!!!**

**Envy: Why don't you like me for killing Ed, too?**

**Ed: …Because I'm so much better than you are.**

**Envy: Shut up pipsqueak.**

**Ed: I'd say something, but I'm going to need it for some of the following questions. So go on.**

**Envy: If I had to kill Mustang, I'm not sure which form I'd take. Maybe Hawkeye. But I'd probably did like what I did to Hughes: just start out with some person, then see if there was anyone better to change into.**

Sup...

Got a few questions to ask ya'll...

Ed: Who would you consider your greatest rival/enemy? What's it like to have automail? Third, if you could have any of the Homunculi's powers (only one!) which one would it be? And finally...you're tall on the inside, and one h311 of a character!

Greed: What's it like being a homunculus? Plus, what's it take to be a villain of your caliber? I ask you because, well...you're one of the best villains of all time. Next, why didn't you appear in the movie?

Mustang: How do you get so many phone numbers from girls?

Envy: I can only imagine a question for you...before you were brought back as a homunculus, were you as short as Ed?  
P.S. You're power rocks! Just change your style of clothes differently... 

And as a last note...I've always wanted to do this...

Ed...  
Even as an eighteen year old in the movie...you're as small as an ant! Smaller than a grain of sand that you can't even see with a magnifying glass! You're so short you're in the World Records book for the smallest amine character for your size (I'll have to check that last one out though).  
From a good fan...  
Vyser Dragoon... 

P.S.   
Tiny little alchemist rules!

**Ed: I AM NOT SMALL! OR SHORT! OR PUNY! OR SHRIMP-SIZED!!**

**Al & Winry: Ed…**

**Ed: YOU WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN TOUGH GUY?**

**Winry: Do you ever consider that _maybe_ if you didn't react like that, people wouldn't pick on you?**

**Ed: YOU'RE ALL GIANTS!!!! Huh? You say something, Winry?**

**Winry: **(sighs) **Never mind…**

**Ed: Well, anyway, to answer your questions, my greatest enemy…Dante? I guess. There are a lot of idiots whose $$3$ I need to kick, though. And automail-**

**Winry: Automail is wonderful! It's so great to have, especially if it's one of my creations-**

**Ed: …That's great, Winry! Um, well I guess it's okay, good weapons and all, but I'd rather have my original body back. Truthfully, I wouldn't want any of their ****dmn**** powers, but if you're gonna make me choose, I'd pick-**

**Al: Gluttony, so you could eat a lot?**

**Ed: …No. I'd choose Envy's power (that doesn't mean we're lovers or I like him in any way, shape or form…no pun intended), because then, I could ruin Colonel ****b$+rd's**** reputation. But seriously, it would be pretty fun to be whoever I'd want to be.**

**Roy: …At least I can get a date. Speaking of which, the girls practically throw their numbers at me.**

**Havoc: YOU'RE LYING!!!**

**Roy: Hahaha!! Please. There's no way anyone could get as many phone numbers as I do as easily.**

**Winry: What if someone cosplayed as you?**

**Roy: It wouldn't be as good as the original.**

**Ed: But I'm more popular than you are. And I can prove it, too. In "FULLMETAL Alchemist Profiles" on page 4, there were the results of a popularity contest. I came in first and Mustang came in second.**

**Roy: So…?**

**Ed: So that undoubtedly proves that I'm more popular than you!!!**

**Roy: That may be, but have you ever gone out on a date?**

**Ed: …No…**

**Roy: I rest my case.**

**Greed: Oh, yeah, being a homunculus is pretty great. Still wish I could've become immortal…I didn't appear in the movie because-**

**Ed: Because he DIED.**

**Greed: …Yeah. The FullMetal kid killed me. Um, and the villain-ness just comes naturally, I guess, from my greedy-ness.**

**Envy: Do you _really_ think that I could _ever_ be as short as that pipsqueak?**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT YOU WANNA-**

**Winry: That's ENOUGH, Ed! **(whacks him on the head with her wrench until he's unconscious)

**Envy: **(backing away from Winry) **U-um…and I like my clothes just fine!!! There's nothing wrong with them!!!**

**Riza: They're girl's clothes. And I'm pretty sure even a girl wouldn't want to wear those hideous things.**

**Everyone: **(stares)

**Riza: What?**

Dear Homunculi, Dante, and Ed.

Envy- What do you do when you're bored? Other than killing that is. I mean really, you have lived for a long time, so you've probably done many things that you are probably bored with by now.

Dante- Yeah, I know you entertain yourself by killing off a large portion of the human race, but what else do you do then plot other's demise for your gain?

Greed- Do you still love Dante? In THAT episode, you just returned to her mansion for no reason. Is that why?

Sloth: You rock, and it was very kind of you to take Wrath in after Izumi attempted to kill him. But, how old were you when you had Edward and Alphonse? (Curiosity killed the cat. hint, hint, Ed)

Lust: Keep up the good work. You are an excellent villianess, with an excellent douse of beauty and intelligence all rolled into one. It is amazing that you are able to keep everything going so smoothly.

Pride- Did you really love your son and wife, or were you always a mindless puppet from the start?

Wrath: You're honestly my 2nd favorite character. You're so Cute!...Anyways...would you like some cookies? I also think my friend is bringing over her pet mouse...You could name it if you want.

Gluttony: It's nice to know that you are so loyal to those you love. Even in the movie, after you were turned mindless by Dante, you still wanted to avenge her. You're great, Gluttony.

Ed: If you could use the Stone, would you turn Lust and Sloth (or any of the homunculi) human? I mean, you could've just let them go after you did so. You know, let them live their own lives. It's not like you had to be connected to them after doing so.

NinjaTerra-BloodyNinjaGirl

Ed: I don't understand what that "hint hint" was for……But no, I would never turn Sloth especially, or any of the other homunculi human…maybe Lust, though, since she did help us and asked.

**Envy: Usually spy on our next lead. I mean, what else do you want me to do? Crochet you a blanket?**

**Ed: You do realize people are going to request that now…**

**Envy: …DMN1+!!!!!!**

**Dante: Mostly that. But I do like other kinds of fun here and there…**

**Ed: I'm not sure we want to know about that…**

**Dante: You're only 15, so you probably don't.**

**Ed: Um……right……**

**Greed: Listen, kid. I want the best of the best. So answer this for your response: Is she a hot babe?**

**Sloth: Me? Kind? _I _never had Ed and Al; that was their actual mother. We're different people…if you can call me a person, that is.**

**Lust: Thanks…**

**Wrath: No cookies…but can I have the mouse?**

**Gluttony: Cookies? ………**

Okay, I have a few questions.

Ed:  
1. If you had to pick who your worst enemy is, who would it be?  
2. Kick Colonel Fathead in the nu+$ the next time he calls you short in any way, shape or form. It that doesn't work, you can always use a power drill to kneecap him. (Yes, I have a very sick and twisted mind, that's why my foes fear me.)  
3. I'm only 5'4, and my friend calls me 'chibi-chan' all the time, so I feel for you.

Al:  
1. If Ed won't let you get a cat, why don't you try a hamster? Mine's gonna have babies in a few weeks, so you can have one of them. (Hands over cage with hamster, food, and shavings.)  
2. I hope you get your body back soon! 

Roy Mustang:  
Leave Ed the heck alone. The next time you call him short, I will come after you with napalm, kunai, nitroglycerine, a katana, and a crossbow. Oh, I forgot the sack of rabid gerbils and the container of barbecue sauce. (Grins evilly.) Use your imagination as to what I'm going to use them all for. I forgot to mention that my friend thinks I'm a bigger pyromaniac than you are.   
Ta ta.

Scar:  
1. See the above entry as to what you'll face if you try to hurt Ed or Al again.  
2.Dude, you need to go see a shrink or something, 'cause you have the worst case of 'F.I.N.E.' that I have ever seen. (Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional.) Don't you ever smile?

Envy:  
1. Why are you such a moron?  
2. You do realize that miniskirts are girl's clothes, and they're out of fashion this season, right?  
3. If you don't like my questions, then cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it!

Russel:  
1. You $uck. End of conversation.

Dante:  
1. I know people that eagerly await your demise. I happen to be one of them. So, what were you on when you had Envy?

Fletcher:  
1. You're really good at Alchemy! Keep up on your studies, and you'll be as good as Ed or Al in no time! You're already better than your brother.

Hughes:  
1. Just how many pictures of your daughter do you have?

Havoc:  
1. Personally, I know about three girls that think you're hot and want to go out with you. Unfortunately, due to extenuating circumstances, they are unable to. However, they are more than willing to keep Mustang away from your new girlfriend using torches and pitchforks. 

Hawkeye:  
1. You rock. I like how you keep the Colonel in line.

Wandering Hitokiri

**Ed: My worst enemy? … **(looks at Mustang, then back) **I'll let you decide. And thanks. SEE, I'M NOT SHORT!!!!**

**Al: Heh heh…Oh, I'd love a hamster!!**

**Ed: That's just as bad!!!**

**Al: NO! A hamster's smaller and easier to take care of and-**

**Ed: And you have to carry around it's cage all day…**

**Al: …YOU'RE SO MEAN!!! Oh, and I got my body back in the last episode.**

**Roy: You do that, and my army will hunt you down. Good luck.**

**Scar: …May Ishbal have mercy on you… **(reaches out hand)

**Everyone: WAIT!**

**Winry: You can't blow someone up through the computer!!!**

**Scar: A computer…that sounds like a sin against god…**

**Winry: It sounds like technology.**

**Scar: That sounds even worse!**

**Winry: …can we get on to the next question, already??**

**Envy: Who are you calling a moron!?!?**

**Ed: At least it wasn't another "do you love Ed" question…**

**Envy: …Alright. And IT'S NOT A MINISKIRT!!! You're lucky I haven't killed you all by now…**

**Russel: Well, now, that's what you think, but I happen to know that I have many fangirls out there.**

**Ed: Yeah, but not as much as me or the Colonel.**

**Russel: …Shut up.**

**Dante: I could always use another Stone…you wanna help make it?**

**Fletcher: Oh! Thank you…but Russel is pretty good, too, you know…**

**Hughes: Oh, well, I've divided them up into categories!! Under the age of two, there are about 250, then from there until four, there's 390! Do you want to see them? I have some adorable ones with me today! There's one where she's-**

**Ed: OKAY moving right along!**

**Hughes: Oh, Ed, do you want to see some, too?**

**Ed: …Um…that's okay…**

**Havoc: Really? Thanks so much, I-**

**Roy: You do realize that if they can't go out with you, they can't protect you, either?**

**Havoc: ……WHY???????**

**Hawkeye: Thank you. A lot of people say that…**

Here's a truly Dear Abby style question for Riza (and Roy, kinda)--

So there's this guy, right? I know he likes me, he knows he likes me (the entire SCHOOL knows he likes me!) but he won't address it. He'll tease me and poke me and (yes, I'm serious) comment on why I should wear miniskirts more often. And I'm sick of it. He needs to either shut up or DO SOMETHING already. Any suggestions? If it helps, I happen to know how to shoot. (And yes, Roy, this IS a not-so-subtle suggestion. You shoulda kissed Riza in the movie.)

Siacatmesecat

Roy: Just make out with him in front of the entire school.

**Riza: **(cocks gun)

Roy: …Or you could try talking to him. That always helps.

**Riza: Most people don't tell each other that they "like" one another because they're afraid of rejection. In this case, since you already know that he likes you, why don't _you_ make the first move? Ask him out or something.**

**Roy: He'll probably say yes if you wear a miniskirt.**

**Riza: …**(loads gun) **I think it's time you went back to work.**

**Roy: **(whispering) **And you wonder why I didn't kiss her in the movie?**

**Riza: What did you just say?**

**Roy: I said…I've gotta get some paperwork done! Bye!**

Hi!!  
Ok, I'll organize this time.  
Ed:  
1.Do you know anybody named Mae Alche?(just curious)  
2.LET AL GET A CAT .  
3.Do you ever think of Roy as a father figure?(HA! My NOT crazy friend wants to know)  
4.When are you and Winry gonna hook up? (gasp NO! Another one from my friend)  
Roy:  
1.Why do you insult Ed so much?  
2.Is it because you are insecure?  
3.Do you visit a counselor about Ishbal?  
4.How would you feel about Riza if she didn't shoot at you?  
Al:  
1.How is it POSSIBLE to be cute in, like 7 ft. armor?  
2.Are you and Winry JUST friends?  
3.Are you SURE?  
4.Maybe you should give up on the 'get a cat' deal and just give food and stuff to them?  
Riza:  
1.How many hours do you think you practiced shooting?  
2.Do you like Mustang as, say, more than a friend?  
3.Do you perhaps think of Ed and/or Al in a motherly way?  
4.WHY do you follow Mustang?  
Envy:  
1.$cr3w you right back, bTch.  
2.WHY do you think your palm-tree form is cute?  
3.Why don't you leave Ed alone?  
4.Why do you CARE about Hohenheim at all? You don't need him, never did, so why do you CARE?!  
Hohenheim:  
1.I know you left your family for research, but why didn't you write, though?  
2.Why did you come back?  
3.My friend says to tell you that you're her favorite character (maybe she is crazy...)

K, that's all...  
LUV YOU ALL!

Fullmetal Fangrl  
(and her friend)

Ed: I've never heard that name before in my life. But then again, I have met a bunch of random people, so who knows? AND NO, AL CANNOT HAVE A CAT!!! What is this turning into, the "Let Alphonse get a cat" column!? And…I dunno…(lowering voice) I guess…maybe…sometimes…I dunno…( that was for the final 2 questions, kind of merged into 1)

Roy: I pick on Ed because it's _easy_ to pick on him. NOT because I'm insecure.

Ed: He's about the cockiest and most smug guy on Earth-I really don't think that he's insecure.

Roy: After the whole "I'm gonna kill myself" thing passed over, I was fine, so no, I don't. I'm going to pass on the last question.

Ed: Looks like _somebody's_ got a crush…

Roy: Shut up, shorty.

Al: Um……you think I'm cute? Thanks :3 Um, yes, me and Winry _are_ just friends (trust me) and I just really want a cat for my own!

Ed: (coughing) No. (end coughing)

Al: Brother, you should do something about that cold!

Ed: Yeah, Al. I'll get right on that…

Riza: I practice shooting a _lot_. After all, it _is _my job. And like my superior, I'm going to pass on the next question. I suppose that sometimes my instincts kick in and I think of those two in a motherly way. Every now and again, like when they're in danger and such. I follow the Colonel because I want to protect him.

Envy: I DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER TO YOU!!! Why can't you people just leave me alone!!!?? What the h311 does it take!?!?!?!

Hoenheim: Tell your friend thank you. I didn't write to my family because I wanted to keep them safe. I came back because I obviously had heard of Trisha's death and my sons' plights, and I wanted to help them.

_That's all for now!!! I'll take more time tomorrow to work on things and reply to just comments. In the meantime, I have to spar in TaeKwonDo, so until next time, keep it real! Lol._


	11. Chapter 11

Funny story that I need to get outta my system before we begin. For biology today, we went to the computer lab to look at crap, but the teacher has minimal control over the class, so I looked for about 10 minutes then came to this site to check reviews and such. When I saw one or two that were from I think yesterday (maybe?) I started cracking up. Seriously, in all seriousness, there are some questions where I'll tell my younger sister, "Keri, whatever you do, DO NOT do drugs" and there are some that I start laughing at because I know what the characters are gonna say- and it's funny, and there are other times I start laughing because it's funny, or something was said on purpose to be funny. Sometimes I laugh because of both of those. This was one of those times. I was also able to put so many on this one, even though I have something to do tonight (OMG NO WAY!) because I wrote it in school. During "biology" and history. So yes, you may start bowing, now.

Here's my question.

Hughes:  
Wanna buy a duck?

Kimbley:  
How did you get those tattoos in the first place? Did you do it yourself or something?  
Also, my friend hates you and wants you to die.

bibliophile

Hughes: Hmmm, well, is it a cute duck? Do you think Elysia would like it? Only the best for my daughter! Oh, speaking of which, do you wanna see some pictures of her? (pulls out pictures) See, isn't she CUTE!? You just wanna meet her, don't you?

Ed: How did all this start from a duck…?

Kimbley: Is it really that good of an idea to tell someone who could and would blow you up to die? Anyway, I designed the tattoos, because the Alchemic circles had to be right for what I wanted to use them for, but I had a professional put them on. I blow things up, not make tattoos.

Ok question for Al What did you do in the two or so years you had alone when Ed was gone?  
Fletcher Is your favorite color green? and I think you are a ninja/awesome fighter in disguise cause that would be awesome! YOU NEED MORE SCREEN TIME !!

Moofy-Fan

Al: Well, I'd lost a lot of my former memory, so I pretty much had to learn Alchemy all over again. I went to Izumi-sensei until she died  and she taught me again. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to get Brother back, but I also spent a lot of time with my friends, like Winry.

Fletcher: Umm…I guess green is a nice color, sure. I don't think I could be a ninja or fighter like that; I'm kind of shy. But thank you for your kind words  However, I'm fine where I am.

I'm back! smiles at Envy & Ed  
Ok, this is for all the guys! Boxers, Briefs, or Nothing?  
And I'm sorry for scaring you guys (referring to Envy, Ed, and Al) (especially Al).

Your loyal, not crazy, fangirl  
Sweetkittens

Ed: I'm pretty sure that there are many times in the series where I've been seen in my boxers. And it's okay. Just don't _ever do it again._

BakaKonekoRKL: (trying not to laugh as she types)

Al: Um……I'm armor…do I have to answer?

Envy: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?

Ed: You probably wear women's underwear to go with your miniskirt…

Envy: WHAT WAS THAT???

Ed: Then I guess you wear nothing?

Envy: First off, that's disgusting, even for me. Secondly, IT'S MY OWN DMN BUSINESS!!!

Hello..AGAIN! MUWHAHA! Sry if I'm annoying... but anyway...

All Homunculi- Do you think the song "Animal I Have Become" by Green Day, matches any of you in any way?

Envy & Wrath- Do you two like being insane? Also... Can I join you in the insane-ness?

Wrath & Greed- What's up with the shark teeth? I mean you both have them... Were you two crossbred with a shark or what?

Lust & Sloth- Did you two accidentally dress alike or was it some sister thing, sense you two are the only female homunculi. Seriously you do dress alike... a lot of people have gotten you two mixed up because of that...

Shoushin

Lust: Isn't that song by "Three Days Grace"?

Envy: How would _you_ know that?

Lust: Mind your own business. If that's the song you mean, then-

Envy: The question was directed at ALL of us!

Lust: -I think that some parts of it describe some of us. There were a few lines that I picked out that I thought could relate to me, but that's just me.

Wrath: No, I'm NOT INSANE!

Envy: We're just evil. There's a difference. AND IF THIS HAS TO DO WITH OUR CHOICE OF CLOTHES, YOU CAN JUST _KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!!_

Wrath: Yeah!!! And I wasn't combined with a shark, either!!

Greed: I don't know about the kid, but my teeth are part of my Ultimate Shield. Teeth can be used as weapons, you know.

Lust: I was dressed like this long before _she_ came along…

Sloth: We, as the "bad guys", don't have much of a choice of clothing. We pretty much have to wear black. And if we're going to look "cool", as women, we both chose to wear dresses.

Lust: Really, Dante pretty much chose our clothes (except for Greed's). What Sloth said is true, too, but Dante pretty much had the say. After all, she is- or was- our master.

This is for anyone who cares to answer  
Have you read any fanfictions?? If you have what kind do you prefer and which kind do you find kinda creepy...I for one don't like yaoi -shudders-  
Kat (Coolkat and RoooKie)

Ed: I think that people should just leave us alone. We're not going to go by their sick fantasies!

Al: Yea…I find it very disturbing that I, the Colonel, Envy, and many others can be paired with my Brother.

Ed: I'M NOT GAY!!!

Havoc: Do I at least get paired with cute girls?

Roy: Probably not.

Winry: Thank goodness I'm a girl…

Ed: It's called "yuri".

Winry: x.x ………

Riza: Some of those pairings are illegal, aren't they?

Ed: Yeah, but they don't care.

Roy: Obviously not.

Al: Okay, so, moral of story-

Ed: Fanfiction is bad.

My fish died, but came back to life. What are your thoughts on this? ((It's no joke, he seriously did!))

Why is my cat sleeping in a box?  
-Akunen

Ed: Well, Al's the animal expert here, right? Al, what do you have to say?

Al: U-um…well, I'm more of a cat expert, but maybe you just _thought _that it was dead?

Izumi: You didn't perform a transmutation on it like my stupid pupils…_did you!?_

Ed & Al: U-u-um………

Izumi: (sighs) Calm down and finish your answer.

Al: Uh……right…anyway…Maybe it wasn't really dead, you know? Like…it was just not moving for a little bit, and you thought it was dead, but it really wasn't. And as for your cat, I've read that they'll like to snuggle into little places like that. If there are blankets in it, he (or she) will like it to keep warm. Also, it may use it to play in with any other cats or pets you may have.

Ed: What did you do, quote a cat book??

Al: No!!…I paraphrased it…

Since you welcomed weird questions...

Al, why do you wear a loincloth?

Havoc and Fury, how in hell did you get such awesome last names?

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite

Al: Umm…Well, I didn't really have a choice; it came with the armor.

Ed: It'd probably look a lot weirder without it…and probably some questions would arise if it wasn't there…

Fuery: I dunno…luck, I guess? Are they really even that cool?

Havoc: Well, you see, one day, my mom met my dad. They went out, had a drink or eight, and-

Fuery: Havoc!!

Havoc: What, I'm just kidding.

Roy: You know, my last name is really cool, too.

Ed: You're named after a car. "Elric", on the other hand…(the author's school password…heh heh)

Roy: Oh, please!

A/N I wasn't sure if I should put this one up. But I did. In case anyone else needed clarification. Or whatever.

FMA Cast-  
So Colonel Studmuffin is Colonel Fitzwilliam and - ask any JA fangirl - totally hotter than Roy. He's also known as Colonel Coolness and Colonel Hotpants... so Dwiggies are scary! Shoot me! Or not - thank you, Riza.

Jane Austen Girl

Everyone: Um…thanks?

I'm back and I still want Al to have a cat!!  
C'mon Ed don't you want Al to be happy? Oh and can I have your autograph? You're my favorite character and so is Al! Okay to the questions:

Dear Roy Mustang,  
Is there any reason you smirk alot and why do you enjoy picking on Ed?

Dear Envy,  
Have you ever thought of changing your outfit? I mean it confuses people about your gender. Like when I first saw you I kinda thought you were a girl until people were calling you a 'he'. I'm just sayin'...

Dear Jean Havoc,  
I hear you don't have any luck with dates and I have no idea why because you are absolutely cute. So I'll go out with you if you want.

kuri-chan

Ed: Al cannot have a cat, end of story, moving on.

Al: But what if I just-

Ed: (talking over Al) TO ANSWER Roy's question for him, he's just cocky.

Roy: Shut up. So what if I smirk a lot? Sometimes I think of things that cause me to smirk (nobody say anything, because it's not what you're thinking). Also, I pick on the midget because he's _easy_ to pick on. If he didn't react like he does, I probably wouldn't do it as much. I'd still do it, because I'm older and his boss and I can…just not as much.

Envy: I swear, the next person who messes with me will-

Ed: (coughing fit) Woman. (end coughing fit)

Envy: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Ed: Huh? Me? Nothing.

Envy: I think that I have the right to wear whatever the h311 I want to!!

Ed: Yea, but it doesn't make it any less weird.

Envy: I'm gonna kill you…Again!

Ed: Pfft. Yea right. In what, your miniskirt?

Envy: THAT'S IT!!!

(fighting ensues)

Havoc: (with tears in his eyes) Thank you…

Winry: Only problem is, the probability that she (or any other girl that asks you out using this, for that matter) is under 18 is very high, so I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't be legal…

Havoc: Why must you always ruin my hopes…?

_That's it for now cuz I've gotta go!! But a quick question for anyone who watches Orphen out there- I wanna cosplay as Cleao, but there's no outfit of hers that people could recognize me as……any ideas? Thanks and keep reviewing, I'll have more up ASAP!!!_


	12. Chapter 12

AHH!! I'm so far behind!!! I'm so sorry!!! bowing repetitively Anyone know where I can find a turnaround of Aru-kun (Alphonse) in his human form, like in the movie? I'd appreciate it!!! Also, just got FMA manga volume 12 yesterday, so GO READ IT. NOW. Don't you just love the extras? On another note, I've decided that I'm not gonna cosplay Cleao, but my younger sister will, so…Orphen fans, help still? And if you don't watch that, it's GOOD……just not as good as FMA. Speaking of which…

Dear Jean,

I totally feel bad for you getting all your girlfriends stolen by the Colonel. I would go out with you, but then again I would ditch you for the Colonel in a second if he asked! haha Sorry that was mean, but sometimes the truth hurts. hehe

Dear Kain,  
You are just seriously too adorable for words, I would totally go out with you too, and NOT ditch you for the Colonel!

Dear Ed,  
I would totally date you, but I don't date guys shorter then me...HAHAHAHA

Dear Riza,  
Everyone always puts you with Roy, but if you could choose anyone else to be put with who would it be?

Dear Maes,  
You are the coolest EVER! Can I have your autograph? Plus what do you think about when people write stories about you and Roy in a 'romantic' way?

TheShadowedSparrow

**Havoc: OH COME ON!! He's not _that_ cool!!!**

**Roy: Then how would you explain all of my fangirls?**

**Havoc: Hey, I have fangirls too, you know.**

**Roy: Who like me better.**

**Havoc: …Oh, shut up!!!!**

**Roy: Is that any way to talk to your superior?**

**Havoc: …**

**Fuery: Thank you very much! But…I'm kind of seeing someone right now…**

**Roy & Havoc: WHAT!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US!?!**

**Fuery: …I wonder.**

**Ed: $CR3W YOU, 81+CH!!!!!**

**Riza: I-I don't know. I don't have any interest in anyone _particular_, but if someone asked me out, I'd probably go out with him. Notice how I said "him"?**

**Roy: Soooo, How about you and me-**

**Riza: Get back to work.**

**Roy: …**(sighs)**Okay…**

**Hughes: SURE you can have my autograph!! But wouldn't you want my precious Elysia's, too? She can write her name now! And she can even-**

**Roy: You wanna get to the second question now?**

**Hughes: Oh, right. Roy and I are just friends; I do have a wife, you know. The people who write those stories are obviously missing something…I mean, I think I talk about my family enough, right? And I'd never cheat on Gracia, especially with a man.**

Question for Roy My friend loves you but I think you know too much. Oh, and you are a piro piret.

Rose I don't have a question I just don't think anyone has talked to you yet.

Alphonse Heidrich You are Al's other right, so is Ed's other your brother or something?

Moofy-Fan

Roy: Everyone loves me. And lay off. My best Alchemy is with fire; that doesn't make me a pyromaniac.

**Rose: Hi! Maybe you can baby-sit my son sometime, if you want to.**

**Al Hei: No, I actually don't have a brother. People in their world aren't necessarily the same as people in ours; for example, Ed and Al's mom could be a man in our world.**

**Ed: ……**

**Al: MOM!!!!!!!**

I just want to say thank you for the advice. Me and my friend are now finally talking. You really helped out, I dunno what I would've done; I'm hopeless at this sort of thing (sweatdrops). Cookies for the whole cast (hands over truckload of cookies)!

I have a question for Schezka (I hope I spelt it right...)

Have you always been into reading books or is there another reason that you find comfort in them? I can actually relate to Schezka myself, I happen to be a huge bookworm, never leaving the house without one lol.

Ever grateful,  
caspercat22

**Winry & Schezka: No problem! We're just glad it worked out okay! **(reach for cookies…)

**Gluttony: **(grabs all cookies and devour them)

Winry & Schezka: DX 

**Schezka: Aren't books just wonderful??? I've always loved reading them, ever since I was a little girl. I remember my first book was "Fingerling at the Zoo"…**(A/N Anyone else see "The Number 23"? That's for everyone who did XD it was great!!) **I do find comfort in them, too, though. If something bad happens, I'll go home and read a book. Oh, wait. I do that everyday…**

Winry, between you and me: How do you REALLY feel about Ed? I think you two are a great couple!

Ironic-Sarcasm

**Winry: If it was just between you and me, why would I answer it openly in this column? Anyway, if you want to know, there's an excellent quote where someone says something that contains the word "love" in the newest manga that came out #12, of course, and I'll even be kind enough to tell you what page it occurs on- page 126. **(thanks to Patty-Chan for that info : )

**Ed: **(looking through the manga) **Hey……How come I never knew about this!?!!**

**Winry: Because you weren't there.**

**Ed: …Oh.**

**Winry: He looks really hot in the preview for the next one, though, doesn't he? Heehee!**

Al:  
Please, for all of our sanities, give up on the cat. When you are an adult, and have a family, you can have as many cats as you want, but until then, a cat is a bad idea. How would you feel if you got one and Gluttony ate it? (Hypothetically.)

Ed: See? Someone agrees with the no-cat-for-Al thing. Oh, and you're incredibly cute. Not short at all.

Roy: I also think you're hot. Not much more to say than that.

Winry/Riza: I was reading a fanfic, and you were together. Would that ever happen? Well, once Winry's at a legal age, I mean.

Havoc: Again, I'm an insane Yaoi Fangirl. Would you consider hooking up with Roy and Ed? (He can't steal your girlfriends of he's with you, and I saw a fanart with the three of you together, and it was so cute!) Or maybe with Fuery?  
Much love, Alykat2007

Al: If you hadn't eaten for three days and just wanted a piece of toast, would you give up on it?

**Ed: …What does that have to do with anything?**

**Al: Well, I'm just saying, you should never give up!!! And if I can't eat, then I should at least be able to have a cat.**

**Ed: While I love your reasoning, NO. For once, someone agrees with me. DON'T FORGET THAT SOME PEOPLE THINK THE SAME WAY I DO. And thank you. I'm much more popular than the Colonel :P**

**Roy: She called you _cute._ She called _me _hot. Hot outranks cute. Owned.**

**Ed: ……Says who!?!?**

**Winry & Riza: **(slowly look at each other and back) **No.**

**Winry: We're just friends. Why does everyone do that???**

**Riza: See my response for the first question.**

**Havoc: Um……No. Never. Ever. I'm only into girls. Preferably, with big-**

**Fuery: You know this is rated K+**

**Havoc: -B--……hmm…lalala……**

Heheheh...thanks for the guy-troubles advice! Okay, here are some questions for Envy!

Envy:  
-Do you use gel or something, or does your hair do that naturally?  
-If you could kill either Hoenheim or Edward, but not both, who would it be?  
-Why is Wrath your mini-me?  
-Are you and Dante more like partners-in-crime, is she on your List of People to Kill, too?

Envy: Since I can transform to make myself however I want it to, I obviously don't use that hair crap, but I guess it's not really "natural" either…Ahem. I've already killed Ed once, so Hoenheim needs his share of my anger. Wrath…just dresses like me. So what? I guess we look kinda similar, so what works for me, I guess Dante thought would work for him. And yea, we're "partners-in-crime".

Okay this time I'm 'semi' serious about some of my questions...

Ed and/or Al: Even though I am a creative guy, I still get jerks on my back. I've tried ignoring them, walking away, even the occasional 'I don't care stuff', yet none of it's working. What do you think I should really do about it? I'm already taking fighting classes...

Mustang: Okay, the last question I asked you wasn't more direct. I really want to know how not to be tongue twisted with girls. Any advice? And how exactly did you get to be so great with the ladies in the first place.

Kimbley: What's it like to be a bomb expert...or insane?

Envy: Why do you Homunculi wear black? Are you all trying for the gothic look? And haven't you heard of shorts or cargo pants? A lot better than what you wear. Also, why'd you turn into a dragon at the end? Why not something like from the DMC series?

P.S.

Ed: I was really short around fifteen, so I apologize for calling you short.

Al: Well, if Ed won't let you have a cat...how about a kumodo dragon? Or, a parrot that talks...it'll fun to listen to it with Ed.

And Envy: You actually are my third favorite character...it's just that you really need to work on your fashion sense...or at least get a decent hair cut.

DMC and FMA FOREVER!

Vyser Dragoon!

Ed: Who cares what those jerks think?

Al: Try not to get into fights, though…just keep ignoring them.

Ed: I say you tell 'em to ---- off, and if they don't, beat them up.

Al: Brother…Why do you have to be so violent all the time??

Ed: …Well, at least he recognized that I'm not short…but I don't like his dragon idea any better than your cat one…

Al: T-That's okay. I don't think I want one of those. And a parrot probably isn't such a good idea, either…

Roy: First of all, you have to be either cute or hot. If girls, or really anyone, tells you that you are, then you should have more confidence.

Ed: Or you could just use that scent thing that gets girls more attracted to you. There was this scientific study that our emotions are really just based on scent or something, so they did this experiment which proved that the people wearing that scent that these people invented got, like, twice as many dates. I'm not sure what it's called, and it's REALLY expensive, but I'm pretty sure the Colonel uses that.

Roy: I do not!

Ed: Because I'm so sure that girls just die for the smell of flames.

Roy: Actually, I was dating this girl a few months ago and-

Envy: Bad guys always wear black. And what the h311 is DMC? For your information, there is a logical reason for why I transformed into a dragon! For a while, Envy has been linked to serpents and such……if you want any more information, go look it up yourself!! Because I'm not gonna change my clothes or cut my hair!!!

A/N Funny story. I remember Envy's questions for this one, but realized I hadn't answered them yet, so I thought I'd skipped them (not having completely read this entire letter yet), so I went looking through my e-mail for over 15 minutes, then went to the reviews page for this and after about 5 more minutes realized that it was in this one. I'm an idiot. Lol. Continue!!!

Well, here's my first 'Dear Abby' question, or whatever...

Ok, so I like this guy, he has sandy blonde hair and honey eyes and he's a little short and he's SO hott (sheesh, sounds a little like Ed, $hi+)... he's also really nice BUT he keeps getting in trouble with his parents and I can't see him very much anymore... I don't know if I should still see him or not because it's sort of putting our relationship on strain...

sighs

here are some other things I wanted to ask/tell/e.t.c.:  
Roy:  
1)One of my friends wants to let you know she is yet ANOTHER one of your fangirls and has memorized all your songs...  
2)I know you aren't insecure, I agree with Ed, you have a cockiness issue...  
3)I finally figured out why Ed has more fangirls/is more popular than you. You two are like... apples and oranges, I guess (. ok...) right, so, Ed is young and vibrant, HOTT. You are... older, sophisticated. Dashing. We just happen to be the ones who like hot people.  
Ed:  
1) Hmm...about the hamster, what if Al kept it in his armor and didn't have to carry it?  
2) Just give Al 1 **dmn** cat so people will leave you alone.  
Al:  
1) I love kitties too! I have 2, Scratch and Buddha(She used to be Chewie)!!  
2) Did you know you have a lot of fangrls too?  
Envy:  
1) I know you probably hear this a lot but, well... stop wearing that stupid mini-skort.  
2) Will you crotchet me a blanket?(LOL)

LUV YOU ALL (minus Envy)

Fullmetal Fangrl

Winry: If you love him and he loves you, there's always a way to work these things out. For example, you could just try to see him whenever you can with things like they are now. You could also talk to him about his troublemaking. Not that it would work on Ed……

Roy: Thanks to your friend. But I'm the hot one and Ed's…just see the fifth question/response. I don't want to be accused of being gay. Again. So if we're apples and oranges, who's what?

Ed: I think that's irrelevant at a time like this. And Alphonse CANNOT HAVE ANY PETS!!!

Al: Why not?????

Ed: Because I'm the older brother. Think about it. We don't have time for pets! So lay off, people!!

Al: But everyone loves cats!!!

Winry: Unless they're allergic.

Al: ……

Envy: …I knew it was a bad idea to say that. AND IT'S NOT EVEN A SKIRT!!!!!!

_Well, that's all I have time for now!! Well…not really. But I need to get some pictures for my cosplay outfit. Also, I've been noticing a LOT of FMA question thingies popping up lately…Gee, I wonder why! I'm not stupid, people. Also, at times it's hard to tell what point in the series you're referring to, so if you're talking about, like, the middle of the anime, just note that if it seems like it may be confusing. And if I EVER skip your question, just resend it…or rereply…or whatever. I get so many, it's hard to keep track! I don't think it's happened yet, though…Anyway, go get the next volume of FMA and I'll see you next time!_


	13. Chapter 13

It's such a nice day out! I just took a walk with my mom and sister (best walk of my life lol), and it really got me pumped (and sweaty), so onto the questions (before I take a shower)!!!

Ok question for Fletcher If you have any friends, does Russell trust them in the house?

Rose What did you do when Al transmuted all of his soul into that suit of armor in the movie?

All I got for now But I shall return.

Moofy-Fan

**Fletcher: Um, yeah, I wouldn't see why not. I mean, I'm not very outgoing, but I have a few friends who'll come over from time to time, and Russell's cool with them there.**

**Rose: Well, I was kind of scared when the suits of armor came through the sky, but I tried to protect the children there until Al got them to go back, if that's what you mean.**

To Ed:  
1. When will you admit your feelings for Roy and have hot office smex? I'm an EdxRoy fangirl so sue me why don't ya.  
2. WILL YOU MARRY ME MY HANDSOME PRINCE OF ALCHEMY?!  
3. Do you think you can teach me your alchemy? Please? Since you're the strongest and sexiest of ALL the FMA characters and all...And yes, I'm also and Ed fangirl.

To Al:  
1. How can you be so cute even as armor? I just want to hug you!  
2. Do you want one of my vampire cats from my army? They use their own version of alchemy, fly, and they can take care of themselves.  
Also, I'm glad you got your body back! Too bad you couldn't get Ed's limbs back too.

To Roy:  
1. Will you marry me if Ed says no? I'm also a Roy fangirl.  
2. Stop messing with Ed okay or I'll post these embarrassing pictures of you I took while stalking you!  
3. Why don't you just kiss Ed senseless? It's obvious you like him.

To Riza:  
I think it's really cool how you keep Roy in his place. GIRL POWER! Will you teach me too shoot as well as you?

To Envy:

1. Will you just get some decent clothes? You scare little children (and me), BUT I STILL THINK YOU'RE A SMEXY PALM TREE!

To Fuery:

I feel bad that you don't get mentioned a lot. You're just too cute! Can I hug you? And do you have a dog I can have?

And that's about it I guess. And don't think I'm sane okay? I'M A CRAZED FANGIRL AND A RISEMBOOL RANGER! RED DAWN!

fullmetal'sgirl92

Ed: …Would you quit contradicting yourself??????? First you want me and Mustang to hook up, then you ask me to marry you, then you ask him to marry you?

**Roy: Well, me and Ed are never gonna hook up. Sorry, Ed, but I'm into girls.**

**Ed: SO AM I!!**

**Roy: Are you calling me a girl, then?**

**Ed: I swear, I'm going to kill you. Anyway. I'd teach you Alchemy if I could, since you called me a Prince, but I don't think I'd make a very good teacher. Why not ask Izumi-sensei? Oh…wait…**

**Roy: Why were you stalking me? That's a little creepy…**

**Al: Heh heh…thanks! I guess a lot of people think I'm cute ' Of course I'd love a cat…but a vampire cat? I think I'll wait on that one.**

**Ed: Don't encourage him.**

**Al: I said no!**

**Ed: I know, I'm just saying!**

**Riza: Thank you. Many people say that. Though as for your question, I don't think that I should be teaching a minor how to shoot…**

**Envy: **(punches his fist through the computer screen) **What were you saying again?**

**Fuery: Thanks! Um…I guess you could hug me…why not? I, sadly, don't have a dog, either. The dorms won't allow it.**

**Ed: What's a Risembool Ranger?**

**Al: Isn't there a hockey team named Rangers?**

**Winry: Sooo…there's a hockey team named after our hometown?**

**Ed: I guess so. Weird.**

**Al & Winry: Yeah…**

Havoc, just so you know, a lot of girls are put off by chain-smokers. If you were to quit, more girls might fall for you...

Just so you know.

SMOKING IS HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH!

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite

**Havoc: I know, I know!!! Everyone always tells me that! Well, I don't actually smoke them a lot; most of the time they're unlit in my mouth. Hence the no smoke thing. And while most girls may be put off by it, I've found that the girls that aren't are usually much hotter.**

**Everyone: Havoc!**

**Havoc: What?**

Alright... Umm... continuing about the Homunculi's clothes... Since Dante mainly gave you the outfits...

-Why are they skin tight?

Also... just to let my mind loose...

-Dante are you bi?

Shoushin

Lust: As our "Master", she was obviously the one to supply us with our clothes. And in the eyes of many people (not all) skintight looks best. It was also probably for ratings, as well.

Dante: No, I'm not. But thank you for not just grouping me straight out as a lesbian like how you make the guys gay. Bisexual is only halfway there, so it's not as bad.

To Envy: I don't think your clothes are weird. Tell everyone to get off your back! Oh, and if I somehow become a homunculus, can I be you sister? Really, we could go around killing people! And if you say no then I guess I'll be Ed and Al's sister.

To Edward and Alphonse: Why do people call you Ed and Al. Don't you think Edward and Alphonse sound so much better?

To Wrath: I think you're the best character in the show. So, if I became a homunculus and was Envy's sister, could I be your sister too? I make good cookies!!

To Winry: Get off everybody's back! Ruining Havocs dreams (winks at Havoc). Gosh! You think you're all that but really! Joking, Winry. I think you're great; you put everybody in line. But this has been on everybody's case: Do you like Ed or Al? I think you like Al; you guys are a cuter couple. Ed's too crazy anyhow.

IaMnOtDrEaMiNg

Envy: I DO tell them to get off my back! But thanks for agreeing with me. Why would you even want to become a homunculus, anyway? You couldn't be my sister, but I'd still run around and kill people with you.

Wrath: Homunculi don't have siblings. I'll take some of those cookies, though.

Ed: Ed and Al are just shorter.

Al: It would be kind of annoying if everyone said our full names every time they were talking to us, don't you think?

Ed: It's just easier this way.

Winry: Heehee! Thanks. Why does everyone assume that I like Ed or Al? Maybe I like…I dunno, Havoc. But I don't. You're right, but I'm not going to tell you which one, seeing as they're both here. They both have their good points, though; Al's more kind and sensitive (not to say that Ed isn't) while Ed is more…reckless? or something like that, but also protective and caring (not that Al isn't protective and caring).

A/N Sorry I had to cut some stuff out. Please forgive me!

Roy:  
1. Good luck finding me. If you really want to hurt me, you better have something besides those pyro gloves of yours, 'cause I'm a mage!) I also know how to use a gun (which I'm not very good at, but could still hurt you with) and compound bow, and I'm pretty good at that.  
2. Must you always be such a jerk all the time?  
3. Ed's right, you are a morally bankrupt Colonel with a god complex.

Ed:  
1. Why won't you let Al get a hamster? They're cute, relatively quiet, they don't eat that much, they don't smell unlike cats, (sorry Al, I'm not a fan of cats, but I like dogs), and they can't scratch you. If you're afraid of being bitten, mine don't bite.  
2. After the movie, did you and Al ever find the bomb that the one psycho you two fought had?  
3. I have a friend, though she's more of an acquaintance, that hangs over my shoulder when I'm on the computer and squeals loudly in my ear every time that I pull up a picture of you on the internet. And she gets really offended when I tell her to stop it or go away. What should I do? Besides duct tape her mouth shut.  
4. I have a younger brother that's taller than me too, so I know how that feels too. The difference between him and Al is the fact that my brother rubs it in.

Scar:  
1. -.-; You really need to get out more.  
2. If you hate my comments, don't go onto any ScarxEd, or ScarxMustang fics. XP (Gags) Then you'll really want to kill someone. The only reason I even know about them is that I went onto one by accident, and was scarred for life. (Shudders)

Envy:  
1. And yes, it IS a miniskirt. If you really want to stop people from harassing you about your clothes, ditch the miniskirt. I'd personally suggest cargo pants or something of the like as a replacement.  
2. I showed a picture of you in a FMA comic book to my friend, and she thought you were a girl.  
3. To kill me, you'd have to find me first. Good luck with that.

Winry:  
1. When did you build your first piece of automail?  
2. Have you ever taken apart a computer? If you haven't, I know someone that's getting rid of an old computer and doesn't care what happens to it.

Izumi:  
1. What style of martial arts do you use?  
2. You're pretty cool. Intense, but cool. One of my friends thinks you're awesome.

Dante:  
1. -.-; No thank you. I like being alive just fine, you ugly old bat. Besides, if you even want to try, you're going to end up looking like a human pincushion by the time I've run out of arrows.

Havoc:  
1. Sorry about that last one. (Rubs the back of her head embarrassedly.) The reason that my friends can't date you is because they're not eighteen yet, but they will be in a few months. But they have more than enough time available to keep the Colonel away from you and your girlfriend until then.

Armstrong:  
1. Don't you ever run out of shirts?  
2. My friend always calls you 'Mister Clean' because of the sparkles.

Wandering Hitokiri

Roy: You know, you're pretty annoying. I don't believe all of your stories, anyway. And if I have an entire army to back me up, I doubt you could fend yourself off with a bow and arrow or whatever you plan on doing.

Ed: Because, taking care of any kind of a pet would just get in the way of our journeys and everything. And I'm NOT afraid of being bitten! I won't tell you the answer to your next question, in case they plan on another movie, but I'm sure your guess is probably right. Um…I'd either lock that girl out of the house, not look at any pictures when she's there, or just let her look. If she sees what she wants, she's not gonna scream in your ear, right? And I feel for you. I'm lucky Alphonse is so nice.

Envy: You shouldn't sleep anymore, because I'm going to kill you. Or maybe have you made into another stone or something. I'M NOT CHANGING MY OUTFIT, OKAY?? AND I'M NOT A FREAKING GIRL!!

Winry: Umm…when I was very young. We don't really have computers in our world, but if it involves metal and wires, then I'm in!

Izumi: I've taken some of the most powerful moves from several different kinds of martial arts and combined them, making my own unique style.

Havoc: That's…okay…I can wait…(tears streaming down his face, anime-style)

Armstrong: I never run out of shirts!! Another trait that has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations is-

Ed: It sounds great, and we're all glad that it can help you fix shirts, but I think that's enough from you for now.

One more question. It's for Winry. Winry, if you could put the Beads of Subjugation (From Inu-Yasha) on anyone, who would you put them on? The beads make the person who's wearing them fall flat on their face when you say "sit". Same question to everyone else.

Harryswoman

Winry: I wish I had that! Of course I'd choose Edward. I wouldn't be controlling, but it would be nice if I could make him listen to me for a change!

Riza: I'd pick the Colonel. For obvious reasons.

Ed: My dad? Heh, that'd be fun…

_I really liked that last question. Lol. Though I wish I could've thought of a few more answers. I've gotta get going now, though I'd love to answer more! Hopefully Friday I'll get some more up; I'll work on the next few during school. Have a fantastic day!_


	14. Chapter 14

So. I've got a bit of an A/N this time around. First off, I just wanna say that I wrote ALL of this in school (and possibly sacrificed my algebra grade) but I also had a snowday today, so that's another reason why so many are coming up. I really wanted to catch up so that I could start another fanfic. I was also considering raising the rating to T…but I'm not sure. So give me your opinions on that. And also I'm sorry that I have to kind of edit your entries, like taking some things out and censoring, but at times I'm kind of glad…For certain spelling mistakes that, no offense, almost made me crack up in the middle of history. Lol.

Armstong - Since I'm taking Mustang's advice, I've decided to go with a great body...any ideas on how to get started? Plus, how did you get so tall?

Envy - I just like bugging you. But seriously, I just saw you beat up Greed in an OVA and you moved up to the second spot on my top favorite character list. (However, in the second OVA where you were a chibi version of yourself, you acted like a woman! Heck, you made Breda, Havoc, and Fuery give you goo-goo eyes...and that's just creepy...) And now, I respect you and your choice in fashion. And as for my question to you is, where exactly did you learn how to fight?

Al - Sorry, I'm not listening to your advice, but hey...a guy's gotta protect himself from stupid jerks.

Ed - Thanks for the advice, but say these guys make me mad at all ends, how would you start off? P.S. What exactly makes you relax after beating up someone who called you short?

Vyser D

Armstrong: WHILE MUSCULAR BODIES HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS, WE ALSO KNOW EXCELENT BODY BUILDING TIPS!!

**Ed: Could you tone it down…just a bit…please?**

**Armstrong: Of course, Edward Elric!!! Now where was I?? Oh, right!! Well first, you should start out small, something that you're comfortable with, then as you become stronger, move on to more difficult exercises. And don't forget a healthy diet!!!!**

**Envy: I guess I learned on my own, pretty much. **

**Al: That's okay " I was never really one for fighting anyway.**

**Ed: I guess I'd start off by snapping their necks or bashing their faces in.**

**Everyone: …0o…**

**Ed: Well, that might be illegal. So I guess I'd ease them into it, make some wise cracks just to p1$$ them off. Then kick 'em in the ****b11$**** a few times, maybe. That should keep them off your back for a while, don't you think?**

**Winry: Ed _doesn't _calm down. Have you ever noticed? He just gets distracted by something else and sort of forgets about it for a while. Otherwise, there'd be no end to his rage!!**

Ed: I totally agree with you on the cat thing. I have a cat and it's a major pain to find someone to watch her when we travel, but I understand Al's side, too. So I thought long and hard, and I think I've come up with a solution that will make both you and Al happy. How do you feel about tamagotchi/nano pets? 'Cuz if you don't care, I have one of a cat that Al can have. No mess, you don't have to buy food, takes up virtually no space, and if you leave it for a couple of days its still ok... So will my idea work?  
Kat

**Ed: The whole point of my not wanting Al to get a cat is that they're a lot of work to take care of. Even a virtual one would be hard to keep alive for long, knowing us. Sometimes we wouldn't be able to care for it for days or even weeks at a time. Sure, it wouldn't be the same as losing a real pet, but something tells me that, either way, Al's going to get attached to it. And anyway, even though it was kind of you to think of a solution, he's _never _going to give up on a real cat.**

This is a Dear Abby for Winry (and Ed too, I guess)

So there's this guy, we've been friends since we were little, and we got together about six months ago. It started out lovey-dovey, I mean our relationship is long distance! But nowadays, when he comes back to see me, when we're not fighting, our relationship is nothing but angry, hardcore, M rated "stuff"  
What should I do, I mean, beating him over the head ain't helping!

Winifred Stonewell

Winry: Above all, he needs to respect you. If he's doing something to you that you don't want him to do, get out. Now.

**Ed: And even if he does respect you, if what he's doing isn't what you want, you should really talk to him.**

**Winry: Either way, you need to talk to the guy. Maybe he just thinks that it's what you want?**

**Ed: But you should know that long-distance relationships don't usually work out for long. If your relationship is this rocky, he might even be cheating on you. But who am I to say; I don't even know the guy.**

**Winry: Still, there's always that possibility. In this instance, it's probably best to just be friends. You don't want to end up hurt, because if it continues, and you're unhappy, that's a high probability. So if you're gonna break up with him, like if talking it out doesn't work, you should do it nice and easy, not full of anger, because for one thing, you could end up hurt, and for another, you may not remain friends afterwards. But I suggest talking first, and then if that doesn't work out, go ahead and break up.**

TO Edward:  
-GOD DMN1+ LET AL GET A FREAKIN CAT!!  
-Ahem...well and also what would you do if (in the movie) you saw another version of Winry? Would that make you content enough to stay there, seeing as you had another Al?  
-BTW you are NOT short, you're only like 9 months older then me and are 2 inches taller than me...we should just start a 'we're not short-just fun-sized' club...I'll get on the t-shirts!!  
-Have you ever considered dating Rose?

TO Alphonse  
-Get a cat anyways, Ed can't control you forever! As long as you're the one who takes care of it, it shouldn't matter (Huh Ed?)  
-I think you look cool in Ed's outfit...but hmm, can't decide who looks better.  
-You have such a cute voice!

TO Winry  
-You are so pretty! Honestly...wow, just had to say that and I would love to have automail! I know that sounds weird but I would! It's cool...I love your work!

TO Rose  
-You are so pretty too! You know what? So is Hawkeye, you three are just gorgeous! I like Lust too...hmm yeah but anyway Rose your hair is sooo cool, and I love, love, love your eyes!!

TO anyone who can't do Alchemy  
-Are you ever jealous of those who can do Alchemy? (I know I am!)

TO anyone...  
My favorite pairings are Ed/Rose...Ed/Winry...Roy/Riza.  
My friend likes Ed/Envy or Ed/Roy...personally I dislike those pairings (no offence to those who like them!)

-PEACE OUT ALL!

P.S  
I SO WISH I COULD DO ALCHEMY AND BUILD AUTOMAIL! YOU ALL ROCK! I love you all so much I can't choose a favorite character!

inuyashas-numberone-girlfriend

**Ed: GOD ****DMN1****+ NO! But for your next question, that Winry (I've never been to a winery, I don't drink) would probably be quite different from the one that I grew up with. She (or he- there's always that possibility!) could be a total b1+ch, or just as kind as this Winry. I'd still want to go back, though, either way, with Al. Um…a club? Just don't expect me to wear the t-shirts. Though I guess that black with white or red text would be okay…Maybe…And Rose? She's nice, but no way would I date her. I don't like her like that, and she doesn't feel that way about me; Dante was just controlling her. Besides, she'd got a kid. That'd be kind of awkward for me.**

**Al: YEAH! She's right!!!**

**Ed: NO. Is a cat more important to you than your older brother is?**

**Al: …No…Oh, and thanks for the compliments! Contrary to popular belief, the outfits aren't _totally_ the same; the boots and shirts are different.**

**Winry: Thank you so much! 3 No one's ever really said that to my face before! I'd give you automail, but you'd have to rip your arm off first. And as Ed can tell you, it's VERY painful, though once you get it, it's really great! So, what can I put you down for?**

**Rose & Riza: Thank you very much for the compliments  **(A/N Did you know that these two have the same voice actress?)

Havoc: Not really. I mean, there's no Alchemy to make a girl fall in love with you…right?

**Hughes: Alchemy's overrated. Like I've said before: It's a contest of freaks!**

**Winry: I'd actually like to learn Alchemy, but I'm too busy with my automail.**

**Riza: Why would I need Alchemy when I'm so good with my gun? Besides, I wouldn't want to get caught in the rain like the Colonel literally did.**

**Rose: While it can be helpful, Alchemy can also ruin peoples' lives. I'd never want to do that.**

**Gracia: I think it would be an interesting thing to learn, if only I had more time on my hands.**

Question for Al MY FRIEND KEEPS CALLING YOU THE IRON GIANT! MAKE HER STOP, I HATE THAT MOVIE!

Fletcher (1) I named my stuffed animal tiger my friend gave me that I can't sleep without after you, what do you think?  
(2) Do you think rebellious thoughts wile others are asleep?

Wrath If you don't eat the red stones, will you eat rock candy to make you feel better?

Moofy-Fan

Al: Iron…Giant? Am I really that scary?… 

**Ed: While we really can't make her stop, I'm sure that you could find a creative way to…**

**Fletcher: Um…I guess that's okay. It's kind of cute, I think. And no, I'm not a rebel at all.**

**Wrath: Why would I wanna eat that? I mean, sure, I eat the red stones, but they're not really stones. And anyway, why would I wanna give up the stones, the tastiest food ever, for a bunch of plain ol' rocks?**

I have a question for...hmm...Ed, and a few for others.

Ed: Don't you ever leave your coat at home? Or even take it off?

Al: I just would like to say hello and that my friend and I are always trying to get a cat for you.

Roy: How do you eat an Oreo?

Hoshi

Ed: Yes…did you just start watching? While that jacket is my favorite, and my trademark, I guess, and it's probably what comes to mind when you think of me, I pretty much stop wearing it around the time that we go back to Yock Island. I don't wear it at all in the movie; Al does.

**Al: Hi! Yes, I believe that, with our combined efforts, I'll finally be able to get a cat!! So everyone-**

**Ed: Give it a rest!! Don't you ever get tired?**

**Al: …No, not really.**

**Winry: You guys have to understand that when Ed makes up his mind, he _won't_ change it back. He's very stubborn like that. So pretty much, until their traveling days are over, Al's not getting a cat.**

**Roy: Um…is this a trick question? **(A/N Have you ever had Golden Oreos? Lol that's what I had for lunch the day that I wrote this. And this just happened to be the one I wrote in lunch. So pretty much I gave some of my friend some Oreos and observed lol)

**Ed: What, are you too stupid to know?**

**Roy: No, it's just very random, and there are many answers. You could stuff it in your mouth, eat it in 2 or 3 bites, open it and eat the icing…If you mean me personally, I've never had one before. They don't interest me.**

**Ed: You're more interested in women…**

**Roy: Yes.**

**Ed: …_Underage_ women.**

**Roy: …No.**

Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,

Wrath: You're so adorable! If I could, I'd take you home, but I've been told not to because that's kidnapping.

Fletcher: You're also adorable! I'd take you home too, but that's apparently still considered kidnapping...and your brother probably wouldn't like it if I did.

Greed: You're my favorite Homunculus! If you could have any of the other Homunculi joining you, who would you want?

SplitPersonalities

**Wrath: I'm not _supposed_ to be cute!! I'm Wrath! I'm supposed to be mean, angry and scary! And it isn't so easy to kidnap a Homunculus. Usually _we're_ the ones to do the kidnapping.**

**Fletcher: Yeah, my brother would be pretty mad. We're really close. But thanks…even if it was a creepy kind of compliment.**

**Greed: Thanks, kid. And I'd probably want Wrath. He's probably the only one who would listen to me, and he can do Alchemy to boot. Remember when he first came into the picture and I wanted him to join my little group?**

I'm baaack. lightning crash in background

Anyways...  
Archer: runs away

Scar: What were your feelings when your older brother died? And do you have some sympathy for Al, because he's a younger brother, too?  
And now, the Forbidden Question...  
What is your real name? dons army helmet and ducks behind bookshelf (to somewhat reduce her chances of getting blown up for some irrational reason)

bibliophile

Scar: Obviously I was upset when he died. In case you haven't noticed it throughout the series. I can honestly say that I do have some sympathy for Alphonse; I can connect to him a little, I think. Some things in the series show this. My real name? You really want to know it? Too bad.

I've got a few questions for the FMA cast!

Ed: - Why don't you just admit that you're so tiny that even an insect couldn't see you without first looking into a microscope?  
- I've seen on the net pics of you and Roy kissing! What do you think of that?

Ed & Envy: Oh, come on guys! Everyone already knows that you love each other! I'm pretty sure even Al figured it out! Why don't you just admit your feelings! (Oh, and I'd like to see a kiss too! LOL)

Roy: - If you're so obsessed with mini-skirts, why don't you wear one yourself?! (so then I can take photos and send them to Riza ! I'm sure she'll like 'em !)  
- Aren't you jealous that Ed has more fangirls than you?  
- I love fire too! Will you teach me how to use your Alchemy?

Armstrong: Can't you get rid of those stupid pink sparkles ? It looks girly... (especially the color!)

starlight-phenix

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CA-

Winry: (whacks him on the head with her wrench until he's knocked out) I don't think that you'd live through that if he continued, and this would _defiantly_ cease being K+ rated.

Roy: And I can honestly answer, for the two of us, that we will never, ever get together in this lifetime. I don't know about FullMetal, but I, for one, am not gay.

Envy: Even it I was gay, or a woman, of which I'm NEITHER, I'd never love that b$+rd's son! I detest that family!!

Al: Yeah. And I know for a fact that Ed doesn't love him.

Roy: I like the way girls look in miniskirts. Not men. I'm not gay. You could never get me in one of those things. You could send me a picture of Riza in one, though…(A/N At AnimeNEXT last year, at the beginning of the FMA panel, Vic Mignogna said "Colonel Mustang is dead sexy!" at which everyone cheered, and after a pause, he continued with, "In a miniskirt!!" This totally reminded me of that. I even drew a picture of Mustang in a miniskirt…lol) Also, I'm not in any way jealous of Ed fangirls. Mine are more supportive, greater in number, and hotter.

Winry: You don't know any of that!!

Roy: True, but no one would support that midget like they support me.

Ed: (in unconscious sleep) Who're you…callin…a mid…get…?…

Winry: …Even in his sleep…

Roy: …Anyway. I'm not that great of a teacher, though I think that it's great that you love my specialty of Flame so much. Just how old are you, anyway…?

Armstrong: BUT MISS! THESE SPARKLES HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!! HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SAY THAT THEY LOOK GIRLY??

Um...hello. n.n Love everyone of ya'll, 'cept Winry and Dante, and Rose, and Noa, and...

Just one question right now...

HOW THE H311 DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THE RISEMBOOL RANGERS ARE?!?!

Especially you Ed!! I'm shocked!!

Look...the RR is a FANGROUP for ED'S voice actor Vic Mignogna. Who PWNS you all...'cept Ed and Al.

So how could ya not know?! What, ya stupid?

What's next, you not knowing what the Miniskirt Army is ROY?! Or the Armor Army AL?! Or maybe even the Sparkler Peoples...that's Armstrong, I think...

Oh, I lied, I have a second question.  
Dante, why are you such a b1+ch? Pardon my French, but what the fjck is wrong with you? I hate you, and murder you several times in meh fanfics. n.n

Ayumi. Peace out, yo.

Winry & Rose: We can see why you don't like those other 2, but why not us? Because we're girls that are often paired with Edward?

Ed: What do you _mean_ voice actor!? Who the h311 is this Vic guy!? (A/N This may seem kind of confusing, but to them, we're not real, they are. It's kinda like that. I guess. So that's why they don't know.)

Roy: I think that "Miniskirt Army" is a kind of obvious name for my fanclub.

Al: And "Armor Army" for mine…And "Sparkler Peoples" for Armstrong.

Roy: The point is, a lot of people live in Risembool. The whole thing is a bit confusing for us over here.

Dante: Really. And I can easily make you into a new stone. I'll be needing a new one soon, anyway. And if you don't like that idea, I'll just send some Homunculi after you…

A/N When I read this in school, I was actually eating chocoPocky…it was also the day that I introduced it to a lot of my friends…lol

I'm back!! -eats chocolate covered Pocky-

Everyone: Who wants some Pocky?

Armstrong: First off... Hi... also say hi to your sister for me... and can you dance to the YMCA song?

Hughes: OMG! HUGHES Hi! Um... I want your knives... Can I have them?

Barry the Chopper: Hey! ...First... No question for you... Second don't slice me up... and... I love how Roy made you sound like a total idiot on the phone in Manga # 10!! MUWAHAHA!! XD

Lust: Yay more questions for you...don't you feel special? Anyway... In Manga # 9 Why did you wear your hair like Trisha? It's not like Havoc has seen you before... plus I don't think Ed or Al would have showed up...

Al: Hi... sorry about the armor cat... but anyway... Were you disturbed with Lust sitting on you in Lab. 5? Cuz... she was just sitting on you because of her high heels... probably... since high heels hurt after a long time of wearing them (has been wearing high heels... and they do hurt!!)

Shoushin

Winry: I love that stuff! 3 Oh, that's it, Havoc! Girls love chocolate!

Havoc: ………GIVE ME THOSE THINGS!!!

Armstrong: YOU CAN SAY HI TO HER YOURSELF!!

Katherine: Oh! Um…hi!

Armstrong: ISN'T SHE CUTE? AS FOR THE YMCA, THAT'S MY FAVORITE SONG!! (does the YMCA)

Hughes: Haha, oh, you're too kind! Sorry I can't give you my knives, but would you like to see some of my beautiful daughter Elysia instead?

Barry The Chopper: But I really want to chop you up!! And the fact that you liked Roy making an idiot out of me just makes me want to do it more! I can't help it! I just L 3VE chopping people up!!!

Lust: I didn't do it on purpose. What, I can't change my hairstyle for a date? Would you have preferred pigtails or a braid?

Al: Heh heh…That's okay…really…I'm just glad that she didn't kill me. But I understand that certain shoes can make a person's feet feel uncomfortable.

Wrath You are awesome and I love your hair. I wanted to cosplay as you but I cut my hair (cries)

Russell Hi Mr. Seashell

Russell and Fletcher Russell is 14 and looks 16 but Fletcher is 13 and looks 10, how is that? (confused)

Moofy-Fan

Wrath: Thanks…but if you really wanted to cosplay me that much (whatever cosplaying is), then why did you cut your hair in the first place? Don't you ever think these things through?

Russell: I'm not even going to ask…

Fletcher: It's not my fault that I'm so small!!!

Russell: At least you're not as short as Ed. But it's okay. I guess that I just got the tall genes and you the short ones. But I liked you how you are.

Fletcher: Me too! 3

I have a comment/question for Envy. I was reading that little Alchemy Book Text 7 that is inside the DVD case for DVD#7 Reunion on Yock Island and the part where it had character info for you, it was referring to you as 'he or she' as if even they didn't know if you are a he or she... Are you a shim?

WhiteWinged Alchemist

Envy: DMN ALL OF YOU PEOPLE!!!!

Ed: Well he wears a miniskirt, so he's obviously a woman!

Envy: ARE YOU ALL DUMB!?!? I'M A MAN! I'm gonna kill you, pipsqueak!!

Ed: I'd like to see you try!

Hoenheim: Let me elaborate. At that point, Envy still hadn't remembered his true form, so to avoid spoiling things for the readers/viewers by putting in a "he", they left it with a more mysterious "he or she".

_That's it for now! I typed this over the course of a day, and I still have 2 more reviews for next time. For St. Patrick's day, my mom got me the final FMA DVD!!!!! XD As well as Bleach #2 and a CD with random anime songs, so I'm in a REALLY good mood. I also made my cousin an awesome Sasuke themed card and just had hot chocolate. And it's still snowing!!! I'm going to start typing up some Clash of T3h Animes and A.V. Chronicles, so check those out! Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend, and I'll be back on Monday with a not as long (maybe) column. Lol!_


	15. Chapter 15

I .Need. A. Life. Seriously, I need one REALLY badly. And I'm sorry that things aren't bolding, so I'm gonna italicize your comments. I have no idea why it's doing this. Anyway. Just wanna say that I think I know why Ed doesn't want Al to have a cat. After seeing how freaking retarded mine are, he doesn't wanna risk getting some that are like mine. Just kidding ;P

I have three questions...the first one is for Ed: Honestly...why don't you like milk It's really good.  
This one is for Envy: Can you kill Winry...PLEASE! (I'm a Winry hater...sorry Winry!)  
And Roy: I come to you with this question 'cause you have the most experience with love...You see...I really like this guy...who's a couple of years older than me. BUT he's my cousin's best friend and I don't want to jeopardize that relationship that my cousin and his friend have. Do you think I should lay off this guy? Thanks. I LOVE YOU ROY!

tootsiepopgurl

**Ed: Because! It's this gross, opaque liquid that just tastes horrible!**

**Winry: You know, if you drink milk, you'd probably-**

**Ed: Don't even go there.**

**Winry: I'm just saying, milk helps you grow…Oh, and please don't kill me.**

**Envy: Well if it would p1$$ off the midget, then why not?**

**Winry: BECAUSE I'll BEAT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH MY WRENCH IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING ANYTHING!!!**

**Roy: If he's older, I'd say go for it.**

**Ed: YOU'RE NO HELP!!!**

**Roy: Hey, you heard her. I do have the most experience in love, after all.**

**Ed: That doesn't mean you're good at helping other people with their love issues!**

**Roy: I don't know, FullMetal. Isn't there a girl you like?**

**Ed: ………**

**Roy: I thought so. Well I'd say go for it; you never know what's gonna happen until you try!**

Question for Ed:

Do you get easily distracted?

silver candle

**Ed: No…**

**Roy: He has severe ADD…**

**Ed: I DO NOT!!! If anyone had ADD here, it's YOU!**

Hello... again! -ish playing with a toy vibrating hamster-

Wrath: You don't know what cosplaying is? Well I'll explain it to you... Cosplaying is when people dress up as various characters from different shows...Also... this is your new pet! -holds out the toy hamster-

Envy: I'm actually getting fed up with the miniskirt thing... so I'll explain... sigh... okay... It's not a miniskirt... it's actually shorts that have extra fabric around them... okay... there I solved everything!

All Homunculi... again: I know you all don't actually have parents... but I made you all a Mother! -brings Humanoid Gate out- She's actually the Gate... but now it has a humanoid form!!

Humanoid Gate: Hello... -she waves to the Homunculi-

(Just to warn you all... Humanoid Gate has her hair like that one scary girl from the Ring. Also the little black creatures that are in the Gate are actually future Homunculi!)

Shoushin

**Wrath: **(devours hamster) **Why would people wanna dress up like other people?**

**Envy: You're dead on! That's exactly what it is! See?**

**Homunculi: ……**

**Envy: Yeah what the h311 is that.**

**Wrath: **(clinging to Sloth) **I already have a mommy! So leave us alone!!!**

I am back my loves (Envy & Ed)!

Sorry, but I love to just bother you two!! WHY DON'T YA'LL JUST KISS ALREADY! Just make some of the fangirls happy!! Just a peck, even on the cheek!! After that we'll all leave you two alone, even me (maybe grins)!!

Also, (to Envy)(not a question) I saw your 'true' form in the manga, and I gotta tell ya, it made me a bit scared of you...

Also, Ed, I found this cat that reminds me of you a lot!! Why don't you let Al keep this cat, here's some pics of him...

http://i33. sure HE can fight!

Your loyal (not crazy) fan,  
Sweetkittens

**Ed & Envy: No.**

**Envy: Well, good. I'd be questionable if you weren't scared. It's supposed to be scary.**

**Ed: I'M NOT A CAT!!! Now he really can't get one.**

**Al: But Brother!!! He looks just like you!! **(petting Ed kitty)

**Ed: Why would I want a cat that looks like that? It's pretty weird.**

**Al: Yeah, I guess you're right…So then, as long as it doesn't look like this, can I get one?**

**Ed: No.**

Ed and Russell: Ok well my sister and I have come to the conclusion that Ed is a tomato and Russell is a stalk of corn. ED LOOK OUT THE TOMATOE BANDENT (Sasuke Uchiha) AND HIS SIDEKICK (Neji Hyuga) ARE GOING TO GET YOU (fanfic by my friend)!

Al (Manga)- After being at the gate so long do you hate the color yellow, I know I would.

Wrath- No I don't, I don't think things though, at all. Well as for the question, I need to hurt my friend (the one that calls Al the iron giant) but all I have is a stupid pencil, can I borrow a weapon of mass destruction?

Moofy-Fan

Ed & Russell: What the-… 

**Russell: What would give you the idea to do that?**

**Ed: Do I look like a tomato to you???**

**Roy: Well, with that red jacket on…**

**Ed: Shut up.**

**Roy: I'm just saying…**

**Al: Um…no. Yellow's a pretty nice color, I guess.**

**Wrath: Just get Gluttony to eat him.**

**Gluttony: **(attention has been caught)

**Wrath: See? He'll get rid of your friend for you.**

_Okay, first I wanna say, YOU ALL ROCK!  
Schezka-  
-I know how you feel with being made fun of about books, it happens to me all the time, do you have any advice about how to avoid people?  
-Ed  
-You are always being called short, and it's not true! You're taller than most the people I know!, But...I get called short a lot, too, do you have any advice for me? And my friends that watch FMA say that I'm like a mix of you and Mustang, what should I do?  
-Al  
-Why don't you get a huge cat and train it from a kitten, I mean Ed can't make a fuss if_ _there's a tiger about to help him take out Dante, or anyone...  
-Envy  
-You don't wear skirts, and it's rude when people say you do, but my question is this...  
My best friend has the biggest crush on you (yes she is a girl) and the thing she wants to do most in the world is kiss your stomach, weird, I know, but what would you do if she did it and got away?  
Wrath-  
-You confuse me so much...  
Lust-  
-...Why did you just sit there talking while Wrath killed you?!_  
_Greed-  
-This guy I know acts so much like you, it scares me, and he's never even heard of the FMA series, or you, could you explain that?  
Roy-  
-Please leave Ed alone? Just for a little while? Please? I mean, just like 1 minute... Also I am as big a procrastinator as you...Any tips? Also, please comment on last question I sent to Ed.  
Riza-  
-Your one of my favorite characters because of how you handle Roy, you'd never actually shoot him though...would you?  
Winry-  
-I feel bad for you, you always have to worry over what stupid thing Ed's doing next (no offense Ed) and he never calls unless he's broken his arm or leg, how do you feel about that?  
Havoc-  
-I'm so sorry for you...  
Hoenheim-  
-Does it make you sad that Envy is constantly trying to kill Ed?...and you?  
Pride-  
-You scare me...  
Gluttony-  
-I bet if you went to Jenny Craig, you'd feel a lot better...Why do you eat people?  
Armstrong-  
-Why don't you just keep your shirt on?_  
_You make my little brother faint...  
And last comment to everyone  
I did a poll in my hometown of fangirls and guys:  
90 Ed fangirls  
6 Havoc  
2 Al  
2 Roy_

50 Winry  
20 Schezka  
5 Katherine  
25 Riza

Roy...Al...I'm sorry...

Neverforgotten Alchemist 

**Schezka: Umm, I just usually ignore them. I'm usually so into my books that I don't notice, anyway.**

**Ed: SEE? I'm not short. You should just kick their $$es…it works for me. As for the "mixture of me and Mustang thing"…just stop being like Mustang.**

**Roy: I'd say stop being like Ed. (I'm obviously not leaving him alone.) Hmmm tips for procrastination? I'll get back to you with that.**

**Al: Um…When I say "cat", I kind of mean "house cat"…Brother would probably annoy a tiger so much that it would eat him…**

**Ed: Would not.**

**Envy: Thanks. As for your question, she _wouldn't_ get away.**

**Wrath: That's not my problem!**

**Lust: I was going to die anyway. It didn't matter.**

**Greed: Humankind's greatest sin is probably greed. Maybe lust if you're a guy. Maybe pride if you're a girl. But probably greed for the majority of people. The guy's probably just acting naturally.**

**Riza: Thank you. I haven't shot him yet, though I'm sure that we'll be working together for a while to come…**

**Winry: Heh, that's okay. Boys can be such idiots sometimes…But mostly Ed.**

**Ed: Hey!**

**Winry: It does hurt me that we hardly see each other anymore, or at least talk, when we used to be so close. But I know it's a very Ed-ish thing, so I can usually tolerate it at least. Though when he comes home, he does get a whack on the head with my wrench for it!**

**Havoc: Isn't everyone…**

**Hoenheim: Envy really isn't my child any more. I'd be more offended if he still was and continued trying to kill us. Though I wish he'd stop going after Ed.**

**Gluttony: People are yummy…**

**Armstrong: BECAUSE! YOU WOULDN'T BE AS OVERPOWERED BY MY MUSCLES IF I KEPT MY SHIRT ON!!**

For the poll results:

Ed: Yeah! Told you! 

**Havoc: I guess some girls do love me…** (sniff, sniff)

Roy: You must not have asked many people… 

**Al: That's okay **

**Winry: Wow. I guess I'm pretty popular **

**Schezka: Wow, really? That's amazing! Who knew so many people lied me!**

**Katherine: **(blushing) **Thank you…**

**Riza: Thank you very much.**

A/N Thanks so much for you little comments at the ends of this "letter" and the last one! I feel special 

_Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,_

_Wrath: Your anger is what makes you so adorable and you don't look scary (to me) at all. If Dante is ever mean to you, I'll gladly eliminate her for you._

Greed: If you ever met Kimbley again, would you get revenge on him? Also, your teeth are really, really pointy...like a sharks!

Dante: You're an old woman!! All dirty and wrinkly and turning to dust.

SplitPersonalities

**Wrath: Hey…Thanks, I guess.**

**Greed: …Again with the shark-like teeth. I'd kill that guy in a heartbeat- he betrayed us for those ****dmn**** State Alchemists, after all! Hmmm, or should I make it slow, and painful?**

**Dante: I see I have many new candidates for my new Philosopher's Stone…**

Hi guys! I'm back! And I have a few questions!  
But first I'd like to say I'm VERY disappointed at Edo and Envy. sighs heavily well, I guess you're just too stubborn to admit it... Anyway:

Roy: -I got pics of Riza in miniskirt! You want 'em?  
- Oh, and for your question: I'm not gonna reveal my name, but I'm taller than Ed. That should be enough to teach me alchemy, right?

Ed: -Just curious: How many times in your whole life have you been called "short"?  
- Honestly: do you think you're short?  
- Who would you like to end with: Winry or Rose? And you can say none of them. Personally I would prefer Winry...

Armstrong: If you wanna keep the sparkles, at least choose another color! (A more manly one)

For any FMA murderer who feels like doing it: KILL ED! (Sorry Edo-kun, I like you but I'm just in a bad mood today!)

_starlight-phenix_

**Ed: Well after saying that you want me dead, I'm obviously not going to do anything with Envy!!!! …Not that I was gonna, anyway…**

**Envy: …So you really have had feelings for me all along? You sicko.**

**Ed: NO!!! SHUT UP!!**

**Roy: You need to ask?**

**Riza: I think you'd better get back to work. NOW.**

**Roy: Send them to me online. My e-mail address is-**

**Riza: NOW!**

**Ed: People call me s-s-**

**Al: Short.**

**Ed: Shut up! All the time. So…yeah…**

**Al: Brother's too embarrassed…heehee!**

**Ed: I am not! And I don't think I'm short because I'm NOT!**

**Armstrong: What's wrong with these???**

_Just some random questions this time!_

Gracia: If you weren't married or dating Maes, would you go out with Roy?

Breda: You're totally awesome even though no one has said so yet. Do you feel under appreciated at work?

Roy: Are you close to Elysia? Do you ever baby-sit her or anything like that? I always make you two close in my fanfictions. Also, since Ed does look kind of girly with his long blonde hair, small stature, and sweet little face; could you make out with him and forget he actually is a boy?

Everyone: What are you people's middle names anyways?

_TheShadowedSparrow_

**Gracia: No…I don't think so. Roy just isn't my type. Besides, I think he's madly in love with Riza.**

**Roy & Riza: **(blushing furiously and stuttering)

**Gracia: See? I have a knack for things like that.**

**Breda: Not really. Sometimes I tend to fade into the background a bit, so I guess I feel a bit left out here and there, but I don't really mind.**

**Roy: Well, she's my best friend's daughter. I don't really have the time to baby-sit her, but sometimes I visit her and Gracia. While Ed is very womanly-**

**Ed: I AM NOT!**

**Roy: -Are too. I know he's a guy and would never kiss him. Ever. So don't think that we ever would.**

_  
Hey! I'm here again with more questions. Oh and Havoc, Winry is right about the age thing...I'm only 14. Sorry! I feel so bad for you! You definitely need a hug (hugs Havoc). Okay question time:_

Dear Ed,  
Oh please, please, please, please, please let Al have a cat?? See! Look what you did,_you've reduced me to begging. Why are you so hard to convince? And WHY do you hate milk? Is it because cats also drink milk?? Also you never did give me an autograph that I wanted in my questions before._

Dear Al,  
I'm supporting you all the way. Can your autograph too? So how many times do you think you've been mistaken as the FullMetal Alchemist?

Dear Envy,  
Sorry if I made you mad. I didn't mean to, I was just curious. So anyway at the end of the series did you have to kill Ed? I nearly cried at that moment. Why did you do it?

That's all  
kuri-chan**  
**

**Havoc: I knew it…**

**Ed: No, no, no, no, no, Al can't get a cat, dmn1+! And I just don't like milk!!! Cats have nothing to do with the matter!!! I guess you can have an autograph, though…**

**Al: Thanks for your support!**

**Ed: It's not gonna work…**

**Al: How can you say that, Brother? Anyway, of course you can have my autograph :3 Umm…I've been mistaken for Ed many, many times…Let's see now…**

**Ed: God, Al, don't encourage her!**

**Envy: …Because I hate him.**

_Uhm. Okay. That's it. I can't stay in character any longer. I was gonna do at least one more question, but now I have 2 looming over my head for Wednesday…sigh…So yeah. I'll work on those in school. I'm really, really sorry that I couldn't get to them, because I REALLY wanted to, but I'm getting sick and I'm trying to find some Hagaren Song Files songs lyrics…No luck for the ones I actually NEED…but that's okay…let me suffer, Internet! I also scraped my knee up cuz I was pretending to be as cool as Ed…heh heh…So I'll be back on Wednesday, hopefully completely better, because on Wednesday I'll have had my only lunch that hasn't changed…(see my LiveJournal if you wanna know more about THAT situation…) Till then, peace OUTT!_


	16. Chapter 16

**_What is this, now, the 16th chapter? Wow. This chapter I wrote mainly in Creative Writing, when we, incidentally, started our humor unit. I'm sitting there like, "…I could be funny, but only anime fans would get it…". Then today in that class we started the movie "Big Fish". I related things to FMA. No life. Anyway. In history yesterday, 2 idiots were doing a presentation on the 7 Deadly Sins. I thought it was going to be good. Then they spelled "Gluttony" as "Glutny". And I was sitting there like "Why are you wasting my life?" All they did was say what they were. They're like, "Envy is like when someone has something and you want it," and I'm in the corner coughing out "jealousy". Morons. It was even worse than when we talked about it in English last year and all I did was draw pictures of the Homunculi and Dante in my notebook! Oh, and I finally remembered something that I wanted to say: Don't be afraid to ask questions to manga-only characters, like Ling and LanFan! Cuz no one's done that yet. Lol. Just let me know if you're asking like, say, the manga Pride or something so I don't get it confused with the anime one. If you do._**

To Ed:  
1. YOU'RE SEXY! WILL YOU MARRY ME?  
2. I don't know what the h311 is wrong with people. You're NOT short! I'm shorter than you, in fact!  
3. Is the automail uncomfortable to sleep with at night?

To Roy Mustang:  
ED IS TEN MILLION TIMES HOTTER THAN YOU, HORSE $$!

To Rose:  
My friend Chad (He doesn't have an account here) would like to say he thinks you're cute and he would totally go out with you.

To Hughes:  
I don't know why people hate it you when you show pictures of Elysia. Personally, I would like to see pictures of your adorable daughter!

To Marta:  
Why the h311 hasn't anyone asked you questions? You are my favorite female character! And I look exactly like you! I could cosplay as you! YOU ROCK!

HisokaYukiko 

**Ed: Umm…Thanks, but I don't think I'm ready to get married…or old enough. **(A/N pre-movie)

Roy: I guess that short people like to stick together… 

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE NEEDS TO LOOK UP TO LOOK AT THE FLOOR???? As for your other question, it used to be pretty bad, but now I've gotten used to it. It is kind of uncomfortable, though, when I wake up and it's underneath me, digging into my skin.**

**Rose: Thanks…I appreciate it! But I need to think of what's best for my son first, and while a father may be good for him, I just don't have the time to date anyone at this point.**

**Hughes: See? I knew people loved my pictures!! So which ones do you want to see now? I've got a lot of them with me!**

**Ed: Just look at what you've done…**

**Hughes: Now, now, Ed, don't get jealous!**

**Ed: …I'll try not to.**

**Hughes: Hahaha! 3**

**Marta: Thankss. No one's said anything to me before on this thing. So thankss for the enthusiasm.**

Winry, if you had to choose, who would you go out with: Ed, Al (in his body), Russell, or Roy?

Harryswoman Winry: Well Roy's WAY too old for me… 

**Roy: Who are you calling old?**

**Winry: …And plus he _killed my parents_, so I just don't think that it would work out. And who is this "Russell" person? I've never met him before. So that leaves Ed and Al. Like I've said before, they're kind of similar, but Ed's more…um…how do I say this…crazy?**

**Ed: I AM NOT CRAZY!!!**

**Winry: Well, not crazy! But he's not as even-tempered as Alphonse, and I think that Ed's more determined, but they're both equally caring; they just show it in different ways.**

_Ok...so as it stands..._

Me and Envy are gonna go kill people...but Wrath can't come, he's being rude. And Sloth's coming too.

To Ed: Admit you're short. Everyone thinks you're annoying denying it. And if you want to fight, bring it on.  
  
_  
To Al: Hah...your human form is so cute! And yes...I think you're old enough to make your own decisions. So get the dmn cat._

To Winry: You don't have anything against Wrath right? Because if they remake this show and he survives, there's a good chance he's living with you.

To Lust: You should of kicked Dante's $$.  


_To Schezka: Do you realize that without you...Ed would be dead? You should get him to say thanks._

To Roy: Ha. I agree with everything you say about Ed. And what's with the whole miniskirt thing...you need to calm down a bit.

To Wrath: Really though... you can be like an angel and then a pain in the $$. And again you want to kill me, bring it... I'm not scared of death.

IaMnOtDrEaMiNg Ed: I AM NOT FREAKING SHORT!!! 

**Al: That's what I keep telling him (not that I'm cute, that I can make my own decisions)! But he never listens to me!**

**Ed: I listen to you, I just don't think that we should get a cat! It's too much trouble! You know that if you get one _something's _going to go wrong! What if it gets sick and we don't know what's wrong with it and we can't get it to a vet and it dies!?**

**Al: That's not going to happen!**

**Ed: You're right, and that's because we're not getting a cat!**

**Winry: …Um…I guess Wrath's okay. He kind of ran off after I equipped him with automail, though. But he's a cute little "kid", and he has ties to some of my friends.**

**Lust: Yes, well. That's why I teamed up with the Elrics at the end once I got fed up with her. Unfortunately, she was too powerful for me.**

**Schezka: Wow, I never thought about that. I guess you're right.**

**Ed: …Thanks…**

**Schezka: No, no! You helped me out first!**

**Roy: See? Here's someone who agrees that picking on the FullMini Alchemist is okay- and fun.**

**Ed: What did you call me…???**

**Roy: Now, now, Ed. Let's not loose our temper. As for the miniskirt thing, I think that I'm being perfectly reasonable.**

**Girls: No. You're not.**

**Military Guys: We'll support you!!**

**Wrath: No!**

**Hohenheim: Wrath changes quote a bit over the series, from when he was on Yock Island to when he eats the stones, then again at the very end into the movie. When he answers questions, it will usually be in between the time that he first ate the red stones and the movie, but sometimes it will be before or after.**

_Hey, it's me again, Winifred Stonewell. I followed your advice, talked it over with_ _Edmund, and we got married. Afterwards, he decided to go to London to speak with a man named Van Hohenheim. On the way back, he was crushed by a falling zeppelin. I have a feeling that it had nothing to do with him though. And here in Munich, a young man has moved in with my cousin, Alfons Heidrich. He looks exactly like my Edmund, but with longer hair. His name is Edward Elric, and by coincidence, Van Hohenheim's son. He keeps ranting about some other world, and for some reason, I feel as if he has something to do with my Edmund's death. What should I do?_

Winifred Stonewell-Ulrich

Ed: That sounds oddly familiar…Who are you again? 

**Winry: I thought the last time you wrote in, your relationship was all rocky and stuff, and now you just got married to the guy?**

**Ed: This is all too confusing for me…**

**Winry: I'm not really sure what's going on, either, but maybe you should just talk to the other guy? I don't know.**

Greetings everyone! I'm back again!

Ed: Can you describe the training you did with Izumi, and what style of martial arts it is? It looks interesting and a perfect way to get healthy...quick.

Mustang: I can't believe I'm asking this...but, when do you know when the right time is to ask a girl out?

Envy: I realized after reading the column that what you're wearing are shorts...but then I thought to myself...would calling it a kilt be bad? I mean, it's not girly at all. And for my question, what other form (other than the one you're usually seen in) is your favorite?

Peace out...Vyser D!

P.S. 

Ed...Power to the great Alchemist with the big skills and cools abilities!

**Ed: …That training was hard and scary back then…Like she said before, Izumi-sensei's martial arts is like a mix of many different ones, so it's like her own kind. Yeah, and thanks for the compliments.**

**Roy: Anytime is a good time to ask a girl out! I do it all the time. Just walk up to her and-**

**Ed: Yeah, but what if she doesn't like you?**

**Roy: All girls like me!**

**Ed: …First of all, probably not, and secondly, I didn't mean _you_ personally.**

**Roy: Well, you'll never know what she's going to say until you ask her! Just assume that she likes you; that way, you'll have more confidence. Girls like that.**

**Ed: Just don't let it go to your head, or you'll end up as cocky as him.**

**Envy: …It's not a kilt, either. Though I guess that isn't as bad as calling it a skirt. But it's really neither; more like it's own kind of clothing.**

Breda: What's up with your fear of dogs? Were you bitten by one when you were a kid?

To anyone who wants to help me: Alright I have an ex-boyfriend that broke up with me like... months ago, and I hate him... a lot. Anyway he's been accusing me of cheating on him while me and him were dating, I angrily told him I wasn't and I'm very sure he doesn't believe me. Plus he's started to ask my friend how I've been doing and he's even started to loom over her shoulder and read her notes to friends during class, and it's starting to p1$$ her off... should I tell him off or what?

Shoushin Breda: Dogs just scare me! I've never liked them. I'm pretty sure that one of my first encounters with one was when I was really little, and it was like this big Doberman or something. It didn't hurt me or anything, but I've been afraid of them ever since. Winry: You should kick that guy's $$!! 

**Ed: Um…Winry?**

**Winry: He has no right to be bothering you or your friend like that!! You should tell that guy off, and assert your rights! And hit him on the head with a wrench!**

**Ed: ……Maybe you should talk to him first?**

**Winry: Or hit him on the head with a wrench.**

Roy...YOU'RE MY HERO! But you see...I think that my cousin might like him too...what do I do?

_tootsiepopgurl_

**Ed: Yeah. He's your hero, the hero of Ishbal, what next?**

**Roy: Fuhrer. Oh, and just ask the kid out.**

**Riza: You should find out how your cousin feels, first.**

**Roy: But then you'd risk loosing your crush to another woman.**

**Riza: It's better than hurting her.**

**Roy: Have you ever been on a date before?**

**Riza: That has nothing to do with this, sir. You're just concerned with your own pleasure, and for your information, yes, I have been on dates before!**

**Roy: With who?**

**Riza: Colonel!!!**

Hughes: when you died, I almost smashed my computer screen. Dmn you, Envy!

Ed/Win is meant to be. As much as you may protest, we fangirls know that it is so. Deal with it.

Envy: you have a cool name. Is it ok if when I'm IMing I shorten it to NV?

Gluttony: why do you get all messed up in the movie? What is up with all the extra heads and necks and arms and stuff?

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite 

**Hughes: Yes…so sad.**

**Envy: Shut up. He was getting too close to our plans. It was an easy job, though.**

**Winry: **(blushing) ** …I…don't know about that…maybe…**

**Ed: **(blushing, too)** Yeah, well…I don't know…**

**Envy: Well, yeah. We're named after the Seven Deadly Sins, after all. So do whatever the h311 you want.**

**Gluttony: …**

**Hohenheim: Dante used her Alchemy to turn him into _pure_ gluttony, so he kept continuously eating, therefore continuously growing. Since he was a Homunculus, I think _that_ affected_ how_ he grew as well.**

Ok, I'm back! With more (probably disturbing) questions!  
Edo-kun, Alphonse-kun and Envy-kun: Don't worry-I just can't imagine any of you guys together... it's just kinda creepy... and incestuous. Can't forget incestuous. :Shudders: Ew.

Roy: Yeah, you're right. Hot trumps cute, but I'm a lot closer to Ed in age. So if I had to pick, I'd go with him. No offense, but I'm 18. Anyways (and again, no offense)- Ed isn't useless in the rain. 0:-)Oh and... Pyrokinesis (and by extension, Flame Alchemy) rocks!

Wrath: Kyaa! Wrath-kun wa kawaii desu!

Greed: You are my favorite Homunculus... you're just... :insert dreamy sigh here:

Lust: You are awesome. If I had to be a homunculus, I'd want to be you. You just rock.

Hughes: I have a 5-year old brother who's adorable but frustrating. Any idea as to how to deal with him? Oh, and Elysia is adorable! You must be so proud of her!

To the guys: I still think most of you should pair up. Ed/Roy, Al/Scar, Fuery/Havoc... Will none of you even consider it? Onegai?

Alykat2007 

**Al: Hey! How'd _I_ get thrown into all of this!?**

**Ed: I think someone once asked us to kiss or something…**

**Al: Right…That was awful…**

**Envy: Just shut up! That happened to you _once_! I get picked on all the time!**

**Ed: _You_? Please! I've been paired with everyone from Winry to Mustang and back again! You two have gotten the least of it!**

**Roy: If hotness is better than cuteness, then age shouldn't matter.**

**Ed: Stop trying to rally your miniskirt army!!! And she's right. I can do Alchemy at pretty much any time in pretty much any location, while you're useless in the rain, snow, and probably by rivers and lakes.**

**Roy: …Nevertheless, Flame will always be number one.**

**Ed: On what planet!?**

**Wrath: This is America! **(A/N Mostly…I think…) **Speak English!**

**Ed: Let her do what she wants! She just complimented you!**

**Wrath: Shut up, FullMetal.**

**Greed: Thanks, kid. I try.**

**Lust: It's easier and less expensive than plastic surgery, I guess.**

**Hughes: Isn't she the cutest little girl you've ever seen? I'll show you some pictures later, when we have more time. As for your question, just pay more attention to him. That's what kids need the most. Don't give all of your attention to him, though; when you're getting tired of it, distract him with the family cat or dog, or with some crayons. Just don't let him draw on the walls! **(A/N Like Mustang after the Ishbal Rebellion…)

Ed: Woah, woah, woah. Hold up. First you're against me and Al and Envy, and then you go pairing me up with Mustang!? Al: ………How am I in love with Scar!? 

**Havoc: Yeah, in case you haven't noticed, I'm trying to get hooked up with a girl, NOT Sergeant Fuery!!**

**Roy: Yeah, me too. Not some midget kid.**

**Ed: I AM NOT A MIDGET!!!!!**

Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,

Ed: I know a great excuse for you to use if Al ever asks if he can have a cat, it's the same excuse my dad uses on me whenever I ask for a pet. It goes like this "You can have a pet when you have your own house".

Roy: Do you sew the alchemic pattern on your gloves yourself?

Greed: If you ever do get revenge on Kimblee, be sure to get rid of his hands. He can't do anything without his hands.

SplitPersonalities

**Ed: Yeah, _Alphonse_!**

**Al: So then…you want to get rid of me, Brother? **(sniff, sniff)

**Ed: N-No, Al! I didn't mean it like _that_!**

**Al: So then, **(sniff)** can I get a cat?**

**Ed: …No.**

**Al: I was sure that it would work that time…**

**Roy: No. Sewing is a girl thing.**

**Ed: Then how come you can't do it?**

**Roy: …No comment on that. Of course, I know the circle by heart, but I had someone else sew it on for me after I'd painted it on.**

**Greed: Of course. He'd be really p1$$3d. I like to make my victims suffer before they die.**

-Ed, I agree with you, Al shouldn't have a cat right now. I say this because I have a cat myself. Taking care of one is hard work even though it is rewarding. You have to feed and water it, you have to change it's litter box and you also can't leave it alone a lot or it'll be sad and think you've abandoned it. And I worry about my cat a lot because he's eight now. Even though he still acts like he's two or three sometimes, he is still eight and I worry he'll catch a disease or get feline leukemia. So, Ed, don't let Al get a cat until you all settle down.   
-And Al, I hope you understand; I wouldn't want you to get sad if your cat got hurt or worse. Al, get with Nelly or Rose!  
-Oh, I hate milk too! It's disgusting! I only drink chocolate if I feel like it. You can get calcium and vitamin D from other foods and drinks.  
-Roy, stop stealing girlfriends from Havoc. And I would like to date Havoc, he's adorable!  
-Havoc, smoking kills! Oh, I'm 21.  
-Riza, keep up the great work.  
-Dante, go jump off a cliff.  
-Hohenheim, you and Trisha belong together!  
-Hughes, you and Gracia were cute together!

That's all for now!

Harryswoman 

**Ed: Thank you. See, Al? Having a cat isn't all fun and games.**

**Al: **(sigh) **I know, I know…And I don't think I'm going to get together with either of them…I don't know Nelly that well, and Rose just isn't really my type.**

**Ed: And I agree. Milk is disgusting.**

**Roy: Please. I'd be a much better date than Havoc.**

**Havoc: Shh! There's finally a girl who I can legally go out with! Yeah, I get the smoking thing a lot…**

**Riza: Thanks. I will.**

**Dante: Sure. Right after I make a Philosopher's Stone out of you.**

**Hughes: **(hugs Gracia)

Gracia: 

**That's all the questions I've got! I'm feeling better with my cold and such, but, as I'm going to the doctor's on Monday at 12 and will probably have nothing better to do than write fanfiction, if a lot of people get in questions before then, I might possibly be able to write responses to a lot of them. So yay. I may or may not update Friday. Whatever happens, have an awesome rest of the week, everyone!!!**


	17. Chapter 17

Sorry there was no chapter on Friday, but I had to go to Tae-Kwon-Do for longer than I'd planned. And I can officially make my hair look like Ed's!! But it's a bit longer. Still, I got the bangs working! Plus everyone's been calling me short lately, so thanks for the comebacks! I think there was a question last time that asked if Al was sick of the color yellow, and I learned the other day that the color yellow makes you feel sick (apparently), like if you look at it. Anyway, I wrote a lot of this at the doctor's, waiting for several hours, so let's get started!!

_Ok...lets make a deal. Ed you're not short...but Al's cuter than you. Winry you're not the prettiest person in the world but your one of the prettiest. Envy you're not the most handsome...but you're handsome. Wrath hee hee you are the cutest lil boy though._

And respect for Izumi and Riza...you kept everyone's $$es in line. Did you two even meet?

Wrath: Why did you want to die with your mommy? You still got Sig, your daddy.

Envy: Well, apparently after the movie you're still alive but stuck in the gate...what the h311 are you gonna do there?

_IaMnOtDrEaMiNg_

**Ed: I already _know _I'm not short, so I'm not really getting anything out of this deal, now am I? And since Al's the little brother, it's almost guaranteed that he's cuter than me, cuter meaning more adorable.**

**Al: But if you mean "cuter" in the context of a girl calling a popular boy cute, then I think that Brother's "cuter" in that way, since more girls seem to think so.**

**Winry: Thank you  I know I'm not the prettiest; I've traveled with Ed and Al a bit so I know that. But I think that Izumi is beautiful, don't you agree?**

**Riza: No, we never met. I never even knew about her.**

**Izumi: I hate the military, so as similar as we may seem, I'd probably ignore her had we ever passed each other on the street.**

**Wrath: I don't like that man!! Sloth was my mommy and I loved her! If she had to die, then I wanted to die along with her!**

**Envy: How should I know? Maybe I'll crochet some blankets. NOT. So don't ask me to! There are more…things in there that'll keep me company or whatever, I guess.**

_Hi, guys!_

Ed:  
-Have you ever considered that you'll very likely die at the end of the manga? Just curious.  
_  
Lust:  
-How do you keep your nails from shredding? Do you need a manicure once-an-episode or does the sharp pokiness come naturally?  
-Do you think of yourself as Lust or as the Ishbalan woman from your memories?_

Dante and Envy: You should kill Hohenheim. Very painfully.

--The Siacatmesecat

Ed: Well that's really optimistic. Thanks for the support, encouragement, and such a bright outlook on life!

**Lust: It comes naturally. I can control how long they are and everything, so I don't really need to worry about anything like that. I also think of myself as Lust; perhaps I was _supposed_****to have been that woman, but she's a completely different person from who I am now.**

**Envy: We've been trying to for a while. Trust me. He's just a hard person to find when he doesn't want to be found.**

I'm annoying you all to death by now aren't I? Be truthful...

Ling- In the manga, you are definitely one of my more favorite characters. It's refreshing to see that now-a-days! But here's my question, you hardly use your sword, to what extent of swordmastry do you have and what form of style is it?

Ed - All in all, your advice has been good so far. And you're right to not let Al have a pet. But what about you? Haven't you ever wanted a pet? And if you say cat, that'll make me mad...cats and I hate each other for some reason...

Mustang - I feel all the more confidant already...

To anyone - Music selections anyone? And what do you think about crossovers when you are paired up with characters from there?

And to Greed - You ever tried investments? You could get rich quick if you played your cards right...

Vyser Dragoon 

**Ed: No, you're not. Really.**

**Envy: As long as you aren't trying to pair up me and the FullMetal pipsqueak, we should be okay.**

**Ling: Thank you!! xD As a Prince, I of course had to be trained with a sword, but due to the fact that there are many of us Princes and Princesses, my training was not very extensive. However, if need be, I have enough skill to kill a person. The style of swordsmanship is Xingian, so even if I told you it's name, you wouldn't know it.**

**Ed: Thanks. And I know. I won't give in. Actually, I like animals. When I was younger- remember that flashback in "Flame vs. FullMetal"?- I'd wanted a kitten, but, like how I'm refusing Al, my mom said that I couldn't keep it. Den, Winry's dog, kind of acted as my pet, too, since we were always together like brother and sister.**

**Mustang: See? I'm _great_ at this!!!**

**Ed: Yeah right…Er…next question…you mean our favorite music?**

**Al: Brother and I don't get the chance to listen to music all that much…**

**Winry: Sometimes, when I'm working on automail, I listen to our little radio. I don't have a favorite song in particular, but I guess you could say that I like rock. Not like death metal or anything, but you know what I mean.**

**Rose: I haven't listened to a radio since "father" Cornello.**

**Roy: Me and Hughes listened to jazz sometimes when we got together off duty. Sometimes I'll turn on the radio to one of those stations when I'm at work.**

**Ed: Crossovers are okay, unless they're really messed up. Sometimes they'll even pair me with a girl, if I'm lucky.**

**Winry: I've been paired with ninjas a lot…hmm…I wonder if I could make automail out of their shuriken…?**

**Roy: Like Ed said, as long as they don't pair me up with any guys…**

**Winry: Some of the guys are very obnoxious, and some are very…emo. The girls, I think, I could make friends with any of them.**

**Greed: True, I suppose, but I want to have _fun_ getting rich.**

Ed: Why are your clothes tight? I mean Al's version looks so much more comfy.

Envy: Crochet me a blanket. With this comes a booklet on how to crochet.

Wrath: Really though...why would you ever want to fully become Ed...like really I understand Al but...Really?!!

IaMnOtDrEaMiNg Ed: What's "comfy" for one person might not be for another. Plus, I've been wearing pretty much the same clothes for a really long time. We have to travel pretty lightly, you know, so after a while, they become a bit of a tight fit. Al wears pretty much the same clothes (most of them _were_ mine) but he's a bit smaller than me (hard to believe, I know). 

**Envy: I WASN'T BEING SERIOUS!!! Come on, people!! Does it _look_ like I can do anything artsy and creative??!**

**Wrath: Because I already had two of his limbs. It would be easier for me to just take the rest of Ed's body rather than to go through the trouble of finding and obtaining Al's.**

Ed, I just want to tell you this encouraging story :)  
At my old school we went on a camp trip. We were playing this game called "Predator And Prey" out in the forest and we each had to be a particular kind of animal. Some of the animals were predators and some were prey, and there was this whole food chain thing. The teachers were disease, natural disaster, and a hunter. One of the teachers, Mr. Gaines, was practically a giant. My mom estimates he was 6'5" or something. I was up a tree (I got to be a squirrel) high enough that this guy couldn't get my, which was scary. My friend Izzy, who was about 5'1", came to see where I was. He saw her and started to come after her, but she escaped through the bushes that he couldn't fit through. So be happy. Even if you're not as tall as other people, that can be used to your advantage.

Kagemaru8462 Ed: Um…okay…I guess that's encouraging… 

**Roy: _But_ the question is, how much later did the girl get captured and how many other kids did the teacher get? There are many more benefits to being tall.**

**Ed: Oh yeah?? Like what?**

**Roy: George Washington, a General in the US Army during their Revolution, was VERY tall, especially when riding on his horse, and during the battles, he never once got shot.**

**Ed: That's just some dead guy who had some luck.**

**Roy: You're just jealous that you're wrong.**

**Ed: Like h311!!**

_I just wanted to ask my fav charaters EVER some questions!_

For Ed: (YOU ARE FRIGGING COOL)  
1) You are the big bro and you make the rules, so you don't have to let Al have a kitty (Because cats totally get me P.O.ed)  
_2) You like Winry so deal with it (Several hints in the manga! I have proof!)  
3) You aren't short! All those people are just jealous because you have a gift! You're like the best Alchemist EVER  
4) Have you ever been SERIOUSLY injured by Win's wrench? Ya know, to the point where there's some "brain damage"?_

For Al:  
1) You are awesome but I still don't like cats  
2) Thank you for keeping your brother in line for the whole series. How do you have that much patience for him?  
3) What were the best advantages of being in an empty suit of armor?

For Winry:  
1) Winry, you have to be my favorite character, I frigging idolize you! Well, that's cuz I love mechanics! (My grandpa has a metal arm and it is so cool, but he doesn't trust me cuz I'll tinker with it. (  
2) You know you like Ed so why don't you two just make out already?   
_3) Tell Ed that hitting him with a wrench is just a sign of affection! (It could be!)_

For Mustang:  
1) You are so cool (but not as much as Ed) and have you ever gotten burnt by your own flames?  
2) Have you ever cried about being useless in the rain?  
3) Royai is awesome so just get with Hawkeye already! You're a playboy don't you have some kinda moves?

For Riza:  
_1) You may be his subordinate, but you overpower Mustang to no limit. You're the man, he's the mouse.  
2) What's you favorite type of gun?  
3) Is it easier to use 1 heavy gun or 2 handguns?_

For Greed:  
You $uck. P

For Envy:  
You are a bad guy but you are awesome! (Same goes for Lust)

Hoheniem:  
1) You abandoned your kids; you $uck! I don't have a mom and Ed and Al's died! Where were you? GONE!

Love, MegaSliferSlacker7

**Ed: Thanks. Yes, that's my reasoning, too. As for the Winry thing: No comment. No matter what I say, be it the truth or a lie, _somebody_ would get upset and _I_ would get hurt. Physically. And I completely agree with you on #3. As for your question, I've never exactly gotten brain damage, but I have been knocked out a few times. Maybe small bits of amnesia from time to time for about a minute, but nothing permanent.**

**Al: Ohhhh, why not? They're so cute and soft and sweet and-**

**Ed: -And you're not getting one…**

**Al: Well anyway, thanks. I guess it's because he's my brother, so I have more patience with him than most other people do. Hmmm, and for your third question, I guess one is that it's tougher to be killed. Had I been human throughout our journeys, I would have been dead several times over. Also, since I don't have to eat, it saves us a lot of money, and if we ever had to, I could carry things inside of me, like Marta.**

**Winry: Thanks so much! I could make your grandpa an automail arm, if you'd like. And he could switch back and forth so that you could tinker with each when he's wearing the other! Um…and yeah…I guess some people could see hitting him with a wrench as a sign of affection.**

**Roy: Please. I'm _much_ cooler than him. I'm so skilled that I've never accidentally burned myself, but once or twice when I was still in training I burned a few other people. Not much, though, I mean, no one died and nothing was permanent. Do I really look like the man who would cry over something like that? Hawkeye's not as easy to win over as some other women; if I tried any of those "playboy moves" on her, she'd probably shoot me or something.**

**Riza: Thank you. _Somebody_ has to keep him under control. I, personally, think that two handguns are easier, which is why I prefer them.**

**Greed: So do you.**

**Envy & Lust: Thanks.**

**Hohenheim: Thanks for making me feel better. Don't blame me for your personal problems, okay? I never _wanted_ to leave them, but it would only benefit _them_ if I left. I only wanted what was best for them; had Dante found me there, they all would have died.**

A/N The first question made me do quite a bit of research… 

Ok question for the Sins What are the 7 virtues, cause ya, I need to know, and if you know, with is everyone's like opposite thingy?

Al You are so cute! Well anyway what do you think it would have been like if you ever got to meet your other, ya know Heiderich?

Wrath WHY, WHY, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE!?

Al H. I made my friend watch the FMA movie and now she is one of your fangirls, but umm she like emotional recks like umm Gaara, from Naruto, so watch out, OH and if you and Al E. ever got into a fist fight, who would win?

Moofy-Fan 

_-(They're all going to list the Virtue that's most nearly their opposite.)-_

Lust: Prudence.

**Gluttony: Temperance.**

**Envy: Faith.**

**Greed: Charity.**

**Pride: Hope.**

**Wrath: Justice.**

**Sloth: Fortitude.**

**Al Elric: Heehee! Thanks so much! I guess it would be really interesting if that could happen.**

**Wrath: Because the writers thought that I was so cute that they had to kill me off.**

**Al Heiderich: It's good to know that I have a fangirl out there. Um, personally, I don't think that we'd ever get into a fist fight, or a fight of any kind, really. If we, for whatever reason, did, though, he'd probably win, since he's stronger, and doesn't cough up blood.**

A/N (yes)

Ed:  
1. You're really not THAT short, I mean you're the exact same height as me! Well, except I'm younger than you.  
2. YOU ROCK! I love you! I also hate everyone who says that you and Winry should get together because you're MINE!! Oh and by the way, shorter guys are hotter! Though you were SO HOTT in Conqueror of Shamballa (I own it!) (glomps you)  
3. I totally agree with you on milk! It's sick! It always tastes sour .

Al:  
1. Sorry Al but I agree with Ed on you not getting a cat. I have 4 and they are a PAIN!  
2.You are just so cute! As armor AND human! (glomps you)  
3.(whispering) Here, Al. (hands him a kitten) Don't let Ed see it!

Roy:  
1. You are AWESOME!  
2. I'm just like you if anyone even mentions work of ANY kind, my day is ruined. (so in short, I hate paperwork and stuff too!)  
3. I LOVE Flame Alchemy! Can you teach me??

Wrath:  
1. OMG you are just the cutest thing ever!! I wish I could take you home! (oops, sounded a little like Michael Jackson there, sorry)  
2.You are my favorite homunculus!

Envy:  
1. I like your palm tree hair!  
2. Why did you kill Ed that once? It almost made me not like you anymore! Almost.  
3. Did you know that so far I have seen no boy cosplay as you? They're all girls.

Dante:  
Well I just plain don't like you!

Hughes:  
1. I don't know why people get so annoyed when you show them pictures Elysia. I think she's adorable!

Kain:  
(glomps you) You are SOO cute! I love you!

Havoc:  
1. I would gladly date you! If I weren't Ed's soon-to-be wife, or under-age.  
2. Smoking kills.

Riza:  
1. You rock! You're my favorite girl in the entire show!  
2. How do you deal with Roy? If I had to put up with him for more than a day I would probably kill him (no offence Roy!)

Love you all! (except the girls cuz, you know, ima girl so ya.)

Sincerely,  
CrimsonTears2

**Ed: **(sweatdrops) **Thanks.**

**Al: And also she's a girl, and girls are usually shorter than guys.**

**Roy: So in other words, you're pretty dmn short.**

**Ed: …… . I AM NOT A PUNY LITTLE PIPSQUEAK WHO NEEDS TO WEAR HIGH HEELS IN ORDER TO MAKE HIMSELF SEEM TALLER!!!!!**

**Winry: Nobody ever said that, Ed.**

**Ed: Um, well, anyway, thanks. You're not going to try to kidnap me, are you? I just find that a little unnerving… And yes, it's official: Milk is disgusting.**

**Al: I just want one, not four!**

**Ed: You're still not getting one. AND YOU CAN'T CONTRADICT YOURSELF!! First you say Al shouldn't get a cat, and then you go and give him a kitten? Shame on you! **(gives kitten back)

**Roy: Thanks. Yes, paperwork is quite an evil thing indeed… **(sighs)

**Ed: You big baby. Get back to work.**

**Roy: You can't make me. I outrank you.**

**Ed: Same goes for Riza, but she gets you to do your work anyway.**

**Roy: Because she has a gun.**

**Ed: So what? The Flame Alchemist, is afraid of a little gun?**

**Roy: Speaking of Flame Alchemy, I'll only teach you if you wear a miniskirt during our lessons.**

**Riza: I think you're a little too busy to be a teacher.**

**Roy: Haha…Haha…Right…**

**Wrath: Thanks…**

**Envy: IT'S NOT A FREAKING MINISKIRT! I MEAN, PALM TREE!!**

**Ed: So you're a palm tree in a miniskirt…**

**Envy: This is why I had to kill hi!**

**Ed: At least I have some guys cosplay as me.**

**Envy: Listen, squirt. I'm a guy. Not a plant, not a woman, but a guy.**

**Ed: Oh-kay, whatever you say…**

**Dante: New body or Philosopher's Stone, body or Stone…?**

**Hughes: I know! So that means you want to see pictures, right?**

**Fuery: Heh…Thanks?**

**Havoc: Oh, come on! What's so great about Ed, anyway??**

**Riza: Thank you. Believe me, it's not easy.**

FYI - all these pertain to the MangaVerse characters.

Ling - CAN'T YOU SEE LANFAN LOVES YOU!?!?!?! Do you love her back? WHY DID YOU HAFTA BECOME EVIL! sob Please marry LanFan and make all us fangirls happy...

LanFan - I LOVE YOU! You're so awesome, and so cute, and I love your loveness to Ling, cause you know you love him!!

Roy - You and Riza need to hook up. Like now. Seriously. Your love is so canon, it hurts that you're not making out in every scene. KISS RIZA, DAMNIT!!

Riza - You are the most awesome woman I know. Keep up the good work.

Hughes - I love you. Seriously. You are the best father and husband around, and best, best friend to Roy, and you shouldn't have had to die, and you just ROCK man. Seriously.

Barry the Chopper - You're the coolest man. You can chop me up anytime!!

Lust - You are hot. And sexy. And cool. But DMN YOU FOR HURTING HAVOC!!

Havoc - You'll find a girl, don't worry!! Please don't go gay!!

1st Greed - I love you. Like, seriously. And your gang - awesome. You really cared for them, didn't you:(

Ed - You're short. waits for reaction but you're so awesome. I love your attitude!

Al - You're such a good brother. Keep it up!

Winry -Just kiss Ed now, dmnit. He won't make the first move.

Elysia - OH WHO'S A CUTIE? WHO'S A CUTIE!?!?! YES YOU ARE! YOU ARE!

doryishness

**Ling: Hahaha…let's not give away too many spoilers now, shall we? I can't exactly think about marriage until I find the Stone, anyway.**

**Winry: You asked me to marry you.**

**Ling: …Well of course I meant after I obtain the Philosopher's Stone!!**

**Winry: Riiight…**

**LanFan: Thank…you…?**

**Roy: Yes, well. If she didn't try to shoot me every time I tried to make a move on her, maybe we could've gotten somewhere by now.**

**Riza: I think that I would be disappointing all of the fans who say they love how I keep you in line if I didn't.**

**Roy: That's not excuse!!**

**Hughes: Seriously? Thanks so much. I appreciate it all. And I know, I really wish I didn't have to have died!**

**Barry the Chopper: Heh, heh…I'll be at your house around eight. I mean!…I don't know where you live!**

**Ed: **(coughing spazz) **Stalker.**

**Barry the Chopper: You should get a cough drop.**

**Lust: Hence the name "Lust". Sorry, but it was something I had to do.**

**Havoc: "Please…don't…go…gay…"?**

**Ed: Don't worry, if you dated Envy, you could switch back and forth from gay to straight and back again and it would always be okay!!**

**Envy: ……Who was that meant to insult??**

**Havoc:…Don't worry, I'm not going to go gay anytime soon. Or, actually, ever.**

**Greed: Yeah. It was kinda sad to see them go. Really sad.**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE NEEDS TO REACH UP IN ORDER TO PICK A DIME UP OFF OF THE GROUND!?!?! **(A/N Can't you just visualize Ed doing that? Lol)

**Al: You're lucky she likes your attitude…Oh, and thank you.**

**Winry: You're telling me. But I can't do anything now; he won't have time for love or anything like that until he gets their bodies back. But when that time comes…I dunno…maybe…**

**Elysia: (: Heehee! You sound like my daddy!!**

Elric brothers: I don't like the Ed/Envy or Ed/Al pairings because you're all related. But Ed, you and Roy could have a love/hate relationship, and I just love those pairings. Besides, Roy's dark and you're light. Yin and Yang, you balance each other out. Also, Roy knows what it's like to make mistakes like yours. He (could) understand and help you forgive yourself. And vice-versa for you, Roy. But I could also be clinically insane and the nice men in white jackets will come for me soon. Either way, I can dream.

Alykat2007

**Ed, Al & Envy: THANK YOU.**

**Envy: Technically, the midget and his brother aren't really related to me. They're related to the person I was supposed to be, that dead body (though I guess it'd be a skeleton by now) buried somewhere underground.**

**Ed: I think that we have a "like/hate" relationship…But not "love"…We're just friends. Who hate each other.**

**Roy: How can I be dark when I make flames? And isn't one of those used to represent female?**

**Ed: I think it's the dark one. Aka you.**

**Roy: But I should really be light, or white, since I make flames, and you should be dark, since you work with metal, therefore making you the girl. And besides, your hair is longer.**

**Ed: Or the nice men in the white jackets will come.**

**Roy: Or that.**

Okay hi.  
Al, you and your brother have a pretty hard life. You are usually the more mature of the two of you. But you are being unrealistic about the cat. And everyone is over-reacting. Do you really want to drag a cat from place to place? I hear it's hard on cats to travel a lot.  
And as for the inhabitants of the Devil's Nest (my favorite characters) WHY DID YOU ALL COMMIT SUICIDE!?!? I mean technically you could argue that you didn't, but really you all sort of did. You all could have avoided it if you had tried. I think the "suicide by revenge" idea was particularly dumb, no offense. Also, what was it like in the Devil's Nest before you all died?  
Envy, don't get mad at me. I am merely giving you an opportunity to explain what you have been denying the whole time. If it's not a miniskirt, then what is it?

Kagemaru8462

**Al: Umm…yeah…I guess so…Um…I don't know!**

**Ed: You're being destroyed by logic again…**

**Al: No I'm not!**

**Dorchet: Really, we were all protecting Greed as well. But, hey if you can do two things at once, why not at least try? We were pretty much $cr3w3d anyway.**

**Marta: The Devil's Nest was a really great place…We had some good times there, with Greed. It was probably the best time of most of our lives. It was a h311 of a lot better than the military and Lab 5, that's for sure.**

**Envy: Okay, fine. It's like that other guy said: It's like shorts with some extra material, but NOT a skirt/skort. It is it's own kind of clothing.**

**A/N My mom was reading this over my shoulder at the doctor's. "I can't see Roy sewing" is what she said. Followed by, "We should've gone in by now. What's taking so long?" lol.**

Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,

Roy: I resent the "sewing is a girl thing"!! My dad can sew and he's pretty good at it and your remark sounded sexist.

Homunculi: Which one of you do you think has a better/cooler power?

SplitPersonalities

**Roy: Fine. Sorry. What I meant is that guys don't normally sew. I mean, really. Can you see me sewing?**

**Ed: **(coughing spazz) **Yes.**

**Lust: Well, seeing as none of the rest of us can do Alchemy, I envy **(A/N Lol) **Wrath's ability.**

**Greed: Same goes for me. I wouldn't mind having all of them, though. I guess Envy's would be good, though, and useful for obtaining whatever I want.**

**Sloth: I could use Pride's Ultimate Eye, so I could always keep an eye on my sons. Just kidding.**

Hi! It's me again with more questions:

Dear Roy and Ed,  
I think that both of you are hott but, see the problem is that I can't decide who is hotter. So how am I supposed to chose?

Dear Winry,  
What made you become interested in mechanics?

Dear Riza,  
I kinda think of you as the female version of James Bond since you're so cool with the guns. So how many guns do you own? Do have a favorite gun you like to use? And which gun do you think is more effective: machine guns, shotguns, or pistols?

P.S.  
Almost forgot Ed, how about Al getting a robokitty?

Bye!  
kuri-chan

**Ed: Easy. It's me.**

**Roy: No, flames are hottest, therefore making me hotter than you.**

**Ed: But if you heat up metal, it's even hotter.**

**Al: So you're saying that when you're together, you're really hot…by being together?**

**Roy: I…guess…**

**Ed: …Maybe?**

**Winry: My grandma and my parents. My parents were surgeons, and that pretty much goes hand in hand with automail, and my grandma as been an automail mechanic since she was…well, my age!**

**Riza: Um…okay, thanks. I don't have as many guns as most people think, probably around six or seven. I also have more old ones, but they don't work anymore. My favorite gun is a pistol, which I think is most effective.**

**Ed: I don't think so.**

**That's all for now! Oh, and for those who were wondering (which was, what, a resounding 2? Lol) I didn't go to the doctor's because of my cold which is now gone. No worries  I dunno how much I'll be able to get done on Wednesday, since my sister wants to go on to watch AMVs and type up a Naruto fic, so I may take that time to start my next FMA story. Since the A.L. Chronicles thing kind of sucks so I'm taking it down. But the one I'm starting will be good, I promise!! Lol. 'Till then.**


	18. Chapter 18

I see that the bolding/italicizing thing is working nicely…yay! Just a few things before we begin. I was looking through the Thesaurus the other day, trying to find a synonym, and I happened to look at the word "power". A synonym for this is right hand or right arm. Also, just because a character in here says they've done something doesn't mean I have. So if Scieszka says she's read a certain book, don't ask me about it, because I probably don't know. Lol. Finally, I wrote most of this in study hall when the police came in and did a drug sweep of our school. Just in case people like to know when I write these things. So let's get started!!

Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,

Ed: How's it feel to be paired with almost everyone, courtesy of fans? Do you not care at all or find it disturbing?

Greed: What do you think of Ling (since he's technically the new Greed)?

Hughes: Your daughter is really cute, I'd babysit her for free whenever, if you'd allow it, of course.

SplitPersonalities

Ed: Obviously, I find it very disturbing to be paired with men. And some girls. Like Dante, for example…But some girls are okay. Pretty much, as long as I'm paired up with a girl, it has the potential of being okay. With guys, it's just all wrong.

**Greed: I've never met the guy, per say, but if he's the new Greed, he can't be all that bad. As long as he doesn't make an idiot out of himself, or something.**

**Hughes: ISN'T SHE THE CUTEST LITTLE GIRL YOU'VE EVER SEEN!? Gracia's usually home to take care of her, though, and we don't usually get the change to go out together all that often, but when we do, I'll give you a call!**

_To Ed:  
1. PLEASE marry me? Please...? Puppy dog eyes_

To Gluttony:  
1. There's this guy named Jordan that I really, really hate and he's a real jerk to me. Could you eat him?  
2. I think you're the cutest homunculus (Everybody else thinks I'm weird for that).

To Hughes:  
The knife thing is so cool! I love that episode where you stick it through the guy's hand, that was just so freaking awesome!

To Scieszka:  
So, you believe in aliens and love books... I have the perfect thing for you! My favorite book series, Animorphs is about aliens. You just HAVE to read it!  
_  
To the Tringham brothers:  
1. How many times have you actually used the Elric brothers' identities?  
2. Do you have to use Ed and Al's names for EVERYTHING?  
3. You guys are cute._

To Hohenheim of Light:  
What's with the 'of Light' part of your name?

To Dante or the sins, or whoever else has evil thought running through their heads:  
Before Gluttony eats Jordan, do you have any suggestions on how I could make his life a living h311?

HisokaYukiko 

**Ed: I think that I'd be disappointing millions of fans if I agreed to marry any one person at this time. That and everyone I _didn't _agree to marry would come after me with everything from wrenches to pitchforks.**

**Gluttony: Eheh, heh, heh…Yes!**

**Hughes: Thanks so much! It takes a lot of training to get so good, so I'm sure you can find some sort of a moral in there somewhere.**

**Scieszka: Thanks, but I've already read most of the series! But I can recommend some other series to you, if you'd like.**

**Fletcher: I try not to, but Russell does a lot.**

**Russell: I do not! Only when I have to. Like for the Philosopher's Stone thing, and the time when we really needed those books and they wouldn't let us have them any other way. We actually rarely use them now.**

**Fletcher: Thanks!**

**Hohenheim: It's nothing really important. Years ago, people had things like that following their names. Kind of like "so-and-so The Great". Since I'm an Alchemist and when you perform Alchemy, the transmutation causes a bright light, I suppose that's where I got that part of my name.**

**Greed: Liquify him **(A/N That was kind of an inside joke for anyone who's read the manga and went to the FMA Panel at the 2006 MangaNEXT in NJ…Maybe the Meadowlands? If you wanna know more, just IM me or something. My screennames are in my profile).

Lust: Stab him.

**Sloth: Drown him.**

**Dante: Torture him slowly and painfully.**

Um…yea, please don't do anything like that, okay? Someone could get arrested…lol.

_Hello again! waves at everyone I just have a couple questions this time around._

_Ed & Al: Seriously, how in the world did you two not get swept up in social services, orphanages, etc? I mean after your mom died, you didn't have anyone and even after you moved to Central, you're both technically underage so you would at least need a guardian right? So...why don't you? How did you two get away with that?_

Roy: If Riza ever started dating someone else, what would you do? Oh and even if Havoc did go gay, would you steal his boyfriends, just because you could and it would upset him? lol P.S. You're so great, you just make me do the dreamy sigh and stare off into space. I love you!

TheShadowedSparrow 

Al: We lived with Winry and Auntie Pinako for a while in Risembool. She pretty much adopted us. And then we stayed with Izumi-sensei…

**Ed: And if I can join the military and travel around, I think that I can pretty much take care of myself.**

**Al: I guess that Amestris isn't as strict as your world in that way.**

**Ed: It would be like asking us about school. **(A/N It was briefly in the manga but never in the anime)

Roy: Well, really, it's none of my business. I'd be very interested in the matter, though…I'd probably have to check it out.

**Riza: Please. Even _you're_ not stupid enough to stalk me.**

**Roy: Heh, heh… As for your second question, I might, as long as people didn't think that _I _was gay.**

**Havoc: I AM NOT GOING TO GO GAY!!!**

**Roy: Yes you are.**

**Havoc: …No!...You know, something tells me that I'll only be safe if I go bi…**

**Roy: Be my guest.**

**Havoc: I'M NOT GOING TO, THOUGH!!!**

Hi Again!!

Ed:  
1.Ew I had to have milk last night . (no barfy emo's:( )  
2.No I'm not going to try to kidnap you.

Al:  
1.My friend might cosplay as you! She loves you!  
2.You're the coolest! (gives Al another kitty)...(I'm very stubborn)

Roy:  
1.I have a skirt that goes up to a little above my knees. Will that do?  
2. Its ok that you're afraid of Riza, she has guns!

Wrath:  
1.I wanna adopt you!  
2.Its sad when you sacrifice yourself that one time in Conqueror of Shambala... I almost cried:(

Envy:  
1.I never said it was a miniskirt and your hair looks cute like a palm tree!  
2.My friends all call you the psychotic cross-dressing palm tree:( it makes me sad. (huggles you)  
3.I might cosplay as you:D

Hughes:  
1.I'd love to see some pictures!!

Fuery:  
1.I love the episode when you're trying to find a home for Black Hayate... so cute! (you and the dog!) (huggles you)

Havoc:  
1.:( Did I make you sad? I'm sorry! But I am under-age.

Sincerely,  
CrimsonTears2222

**Ed: Milk is the ultimate evil!!!**

**Al: Worse than Dante?**

**Ed: Well…no…but it's up there!**

**Al: Thanks! **(starts running)

**Ed: Oh, no you don't! **(chases after Al and the kitten)

Roy: Hmmm, sure.

**Riza: I don't think so.**

**Roy: Um…sorry?**

**Wrath: Um…thanks…I think…**

**Envy: IT'S NOT A PALMTREE!!! You people are terrible.**

**Al: You killed my brother and you're calling _them_ terrible!?**

**Envy: …Well good luck cosplaying me. If you wear a miniskirt I'll kill you.**

**Roy: Did somebody say miniskirt?**

**Riza: Back to work!**

**Hughes: Alright! Here's one of Elysia when she-**

**Ed: Um…maybe you should do that over here… **(pulls him to the side)

Fuery: Thanks 

**Havoc: It's okay…At least you didn't try to get me to go gay…**

Those are all the questions I have! I'm gonna start typing my next fanfiction now, entitled "Like You", so check it out once I get it up, okies? And send in some more questions! Till then!


	19. Chapter 19

Thank you all for making me loose my mind. …Okay, let me explain. For everyone who wrote in about Envy, the palm tree, in one way or another, you're probably most to blame. I think that it was because I was writing an answer to an Envy related question when someone was talking about the new XXX Vitamin Water, but for the longest time, I thought that it's flavor had something to do with palm trees (because I'm so sure that there's a palm tree flavor, so I guess a little bit of it is due to my own idiocy, though I'm sure I wouldn't have thought that if it wasn't for you guys…and Envy). It may not be palm tree flavored, but it's still REALLY good. Speaking of palm trees, I think I found out Envy's favorite holiday: Palm Sunday. And did you know about the plant called Date Palm? It makes you think of Envy on a date, doesn't it? Anyway, spring break is this week (first week of April), so I'll probably have more time to do this stuff. Unless my dad takes off of work and stays home, in which I'll be several towns away. Anyway, here's today's column(of which I snuck on the computer during Creative Writing to see the questions for…so be grateful!) :

_Me again. Few more things..._

_To Ed:  
If you can't marry me, then... (Whimpers) Fine._

To Russell:  
Will YOU marry me instead? (None of the fangirls seem to go for you.)

To Envy:  
I've seen guys wear clothes like that. It's not weird; I dunno why people think that.

To Havoc:  
I'm not saying you should go gay, but it's really not that bad. I'm bi and I have looked at other girls (Until I first saw Ed).

To Greed, Lust, Sloth, and Dante:  
Thanks for the suggestions. I'm already making plans on how to make Jordan suffer! (Grins)

To Hughes:  
1. I saw this guy who cosplayed as you who looked EXACTLY like you! The resemblance was freaky!  
2. Can you show me pictures of Elysia?

HisokaYukiko 

**Ed: Uhh…Sorry?**

**Russell: Really, I'm not the kind of guy looking for marriage. I'd rather continue my studies with my brother. At least, for now, anyway.**

**Envy: That's what I've been saying!!**

**Havoc: I'm not saying that it's bad or anything like that; it's just something I wouldn't do.**

**Dante: Glad you liked our ideas… **(smiles wickedly)

**Hughes: Wow! Now, as for the pictures… **(pulls out a huge pile of photos) **Here's when she was still a baby- Isn't she adorable?- And here she is on her first birthday- I gave her that teddy bear- And this one is when-**

**Ed: **(With Hughes still talking in the background) **Um…This could take a while, so until they finish, let's move on, okay?**

I'm Back!! thunder in background  
Ok, these are request for two of my friends who also read this advice column but are too lazy to post it themselves.

Ed:  
1. My friend is disappointed that you didn't kiss you-know-who and asks can you at least give him a brotherly hug? She also says she'll come after you with a mob of fangirls that wanna marry you if you don't!!  
2. She also asked if you would please also hug the kitty I tried to give Al. You hurt it's feelings, though it might try to claw out your eyes now.

Envy:  
1. Sorry for bothering you again! My other friend asks if you could transform some kitty ears onto your head please!! It would look so cute and...sigh If you do...I won't ask you to kiss you-know-who anymore...cries  
2. Can you give ME a hug?! holds out arms

Wrath:  
1. I like your hair! Can I brush it??  
2. Unlike Envy and Ed, I don't really like pairing you up with another boy. You're way too much like a little kid for that!!

Gluttony:  
1. gives 10 slices of pizza You're so cute! XD

We'll, that's all for now!

Your loyal, not crazy fan,  
Sweetkittens

**Ed: If I hugged him, he'd probably stab me in the back, killing me (again), and I'm just not in the mood to die right now, thank you very much. And I can elude any fangirl. I _will_ hug the kitten, though. It's not like I hate cats or anything, I just don't think that it's practical for Al to have one right now.**

**Envy: …I'll only do it so you won't bother me about the pipsqueak anymore… **(transforms kitty ears on his head) **But I'm _not_ giving you a hug. **(transforms back)

**Wrath: Umm, thanks, but _no,_ you _can't brush it!_**

**Gluttony: …**(eats the pizza)

Okay-here we go.  
Ed: You are totally freaking awesome! And I'm only 5'1" if it makes you feel any better!! (I know, I'm a girl and I'm SUPPOSED to be shorter than guys and crap...) What's kinda scary is that my older step-brother has both your first name AND your hate of milk. (One of my friends has suggested that you and her start the 'Milk Rebellion'.) Anyway, you're the best ever-and don't worry, you'll get taller! (Not that you need to, I know...;) Oh-and I have one small request: Let me help you guys kick $$ every once in awhile! It would be VERY entertaining, I assure you.

Al: You are so cute! By the way, do you have your original body back in this advice column? (Cuz if you don't, I can get it back for you! And you too, Ed!! Oh, wait a minute...I shouldn't have said that...I DIDN'T KILL MILLIONS OF PEOPLE, GET OFF IT! I just might maybe be a Necromancer/Alchemist/Dragon Rider, that's all...) You can share my adorable black cat, Al! Just don't suffocate him, please-I kinda like him too. ;)

Roy: Dude. You are so fricking cool. (Not literally, obviously!! o) My friend-the same one who suggested the 'Milk Rebellion'-is a pyro too! She thinks you're hot. (LITERALLY! )

Egyptian Alchemist at Hogwarts 

Ed: Uhhh…okay, thanks. Um…yeah. Go Milk Rebellion! Okay, and thanks again…I guess you could come with us if you want for a while or something. But if you get hurt, don't blame it on us…Not that I won't try to protect you as much as possible, it's just sometimes I might not be able to. So you should sign a legal waver or something.

**Al: Thank you! Umm…well, it depends. That's why people get so confused with Wrath sometimes, like why he can be mean and then nice again within one column. For him, it's something like a rotation, since he as well changes throughout the series, but you can't do that for anything physical. So, whatever you want  I'd love to share your cat!! **(hugs cat)

Ed: As long as it doesn't come with us… 

**Roy: Thanks. To your friend, too.**

_Hey everyone! Guess who?_

First off...Ed and Envy...I would never try to hook you two up! No offense to people who do, but it's just wrong. I mean, Envy...you killed Ed! Who doesn't get that!?!

Anywho...

Ed: With all honesty...your advice worked and the jerks stopped coming after me.

Mustang: I'm one step closer...I am friends with a lot more girls. But how did you get _your first girl?_

Armstrong: Working hard everyday! And I am vastly improving! Any more advice?

Envy: I agree with you on the clothing. But I wouldn't be caught dead in it. But...now don't get mad...have you thought about switching clothes just to throw off your opponent? And I'm not talking about transforming either.

To you all: See ya!

Vyser D

**Envy & Ed: Thank you! I agree _completely_!**

**Ed: Really. Well, that's good, then.**

**Roy: That's the first step. I've dated so many girls that I can't really remember, but it may have been a result of a high school dare or something.**

**Armstrong: EXCELENT!!! I'd say to also stretch beforehand so you don't feel too sore the next day. Also, work on one part of your body a day; follow a plan.**

**Envy: Transforming is the closest thing you're going to get.**

Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,

Envy: Does it get annoying when people keep calling you a girl, talking about your hair being a palm tree, or asking about your skort?

Greed: I don't know about Ling being an idiot AFTER becoming the new Greed, but he was acting like an idiot before hand...I think.

Pride/King Bradley: How'd it feel being the political and military leader of Amestris, all the while deceiving people?

SplitPersonalities

**Envy: No, it isn't. What do you think? Of course it is!!**

**Greed: Which is why I'm a bit worried…Well, I just don't want him to screw up.**

**Pride: Excellent. It was actually fun, to be honest with you.**

Ed  
-If the military made a law saying that all military personnel had to get married and it had to be consummated, who would you marry?  
-Try explaining more to al why he can't have a cat.

Al  
-Why don't you get a stuffed cat toy? I know you can't feed it or anything, but it's still a cat. I gave you one in my fanfiction.

Marta  
-You were a really cool character. Too bad Pride had to kill you.   
-Some people put you and Al together as a couple. I think that you just have a maternal instinct or something for him and Ed.

Izumi  
-You rock too!

Roy  
-Same question as Ed

Winry  
-Why don't you try getting Ed to drink flavored milk or something? I hate the taste of regular white milk, but I drink chocolate.

Alphonse Heiderich  
-You need a hug, so here's one: hugs Alphonse

that's all for now!

Harryswoman

**Ed: In all honesty (please don't make me regret saying this), I'd marry Winry. I mean, many of the other women are too old for me, I'm not gay, and anyway, she'd my best friend and knows me best, so there wouldn't be as much awkwardness in trying to get to know each other. As for Al's cat, do you really think that a cat would be happy being dragged all over the place? I'm not saying that he can't ever get one, I'm just saying that it won't be for a while.**

**Al: If I can't get a cat, then sharing one and having a stuffed toy cat are the next best things, so thanks!**

**Marta: Thanks for the support. As for Al…I'm sure that he's a cute kid (I never got to see him in his human body), but that's the thing; he's a kid. Also, I'm a chimera, so our kids would have snake heads or something. If those two things weren't in the way, who knows; we might have ended up being more than just friends.**

**Izumi: Thanks.**

**Roy: As I have no current girlfriend (how did that happen??) I'd have to say Riza, as we're already together most of the time and everything. If she refused (or threatened me), I guess I could go with that Julia Douglas chick. She's pretty hot.**

**Ed: ……ARE YOU HITTING ON MY MOM!?**

**Roy: FullMetal, your mother is dead, or have you forgotten, Mr. I-tried-to-bring-her-back-and-failed-and-turned-my-brother-into-a-robot?** (A/N Keri helped me with this…lol)

**Ed: You do realize that every time someone called Al a robot, God (who I don't believe in anyway) kills a kitten?**

**Al: KITTEN HATER!!!!**

**Winry: Please. I've tried. The only thing he eats that involves milk is stew, which I think is a little weird…**

**Al Heiderich: Thanks **

Hallo, FMA peoples! I have a general question and some individual ones.

General: How did you get convinced to stay in this place and answer all of these questions from crazy people? Myself included.

Ed: Why won't you let Al have a cat you meanie?! I mean, honestly! And don't give me all that 'It would be hard to take care of' crap, I wanna know the truth! And why do you hate milk? 'Tis good with peanut butter waffles, you should try it. I'm sorry people pair you up with Envy and Roy. I almost puked when I first saw that.

Al: You're awesome! You're the only person that can still be cute as a suit of armor, I bet. I think you'd be really good friends with my best friend, she's a cat person too. Did you ever get used to being in armor and was it weird suddenly having the increased strength and speed you must have received since you couldn't feel anything?

Roy: Ohemgee, YOU'RE MY HERO! I love how you can so easily manipulate people. And you should stop being a playboy and go for Riza. The love is canon, you can't deny it! Oh, and also, I've watched the last eppy of the anime, but I never saw when you messed up your eye, so how did that happen? Are you secretly a pirate in disguise?

Riza: You're my other hero! It's awesome how you've got such great aim with your guns, it great that you can show bad guys that you don't need alchemy to kick their $$3$. How did you and Roy first meet?

Dante: Go drown yourself. Or fall into a wood chipper.

Hughes: Your death was honestly the first thing that has ever made me cry in an anime. I feel so bad for my best friend because she just started watching and you're her favorite character, she'll cry I just know it. YOUR KNIVES ARE AWESOME! Elysia is adorable! Can I see some pictures please?

Envy: You are that artsy and creative so CROCHET ME A BLANKET, KNAVE!

That's all for now, but rest assured, I will be back. (Mwuahahahaha!)

Neassa-chan

**Ed: Because we have nothing better to do with our lives. Just kidding.**

**Al: Because it's fun.**

**Winry: Because we want to help people with their problems.**

**Riza: Because we want to clear up any questions any fans may have.**

**Roy: But most importantly, we wanna see Ed and Envy make-out.**

**Ed & Envy: HEY!!!**

**Roy: **(smirking) **Kidding, kidding…**

**Ed: I explained the cat thing, and I just personally think that milk is disgusting.**

**Al: Thanks so much! I'd love to meet your friend  It was a little weird, but mostly because I'd lost my memories from the past several years.**

**Roy: Thank you, thank you. Please, hold the applause.**

**Ed: You're so full of it…**

**Roy: HaHa…Anyway, it's not exactly shown in the last episode, but once I leave the "Fuhrer's" house, Archer comes and shoots my eye. I pass out, Riza shoots Archer to death, and I get a sexy patch for my eye, end of story.**

**Ed: He's not a pirate, he's a piro.**

**Riza: Thank you for the compliments. We've known each other for many years; I joined the military shortly after he did because, knowing what an idiot he is, I needed to protect him.**

**Roy: Hey, I'm not that much of an idiot!**

**Dante: That second one is pretty violent…Instead of being in the next Stone, I think I'll turn you into a homunculus.**

**Hughes: Awww, thanks! I'm still showing a whole bunch of pictures to HisokaYukiko right now, so why don't you join us?** Ed: I told you this could take a while… 

**Envy: Even if I _could_ make blankets, I wouldn't!!!**

_**A/N No problem!!**_

_:) Yay! Ed and Winry aren't in denial anymore!_

_Al: have you ever felt like Ed's "sidekick"? I know that I would get fricking annoyed if my sister was some high-up official and I had to tag along with her. (it doesn't help that she's younger than me.)_

Envy: have you ever considered anger management classes? They could help you release your anger and Ed and Hohenheim in a much more healthy way than killing...how about knitting?

ed and al: did you go to school in Risembool before meeting Izumi? Where did you learn to read and write?  
i realize now that during this advice column's lifespan, all I have been doing is mercilessly bothering everyone and asking dumb questions. Now I will use the advice column for what it was invented for: advice!

Ok. I am making an AMV and I don't know where to get footage of the episodes (of FMA.) does anyone have any ideas?

Also, I have weird main-character-death fetishes. Should I be worried? (sorry Ed, that means you.)(see what I mean about the sidekick thing, al? if my sister was the main character of an anime, and I was the sidekick, I'd be seriously p. o. -Ed!)

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite 

Al: Um…no, not really. We're a team! He's just kind of the leader…ish, while I'm more like the voice of reason (sorry, Brother). But I can do pretty much everything he does, unless you need to be a human or in the military to do it.

**Envy: I don't knit, I crochet LIE, NO, I DO NOT. NOR AM I GOING TO ANGER MANAGEMENT, BECAUSE I OBVIOUSALLY DO NOT NEED IT!!!**

**Ed: Yeah, we went to school for a while. But, as Risembool consists mostly of farms and such and after a short time most kids drop out to help their parents out at home, we only went to learn the basics.**

**Al: Then we studied Alchemy at home. School wasn't that long each day, usually only four hours (are you jealous?), so we had plenty of time for that.**

**Ed: …_ "_main-character-death fetishes"…? That makes me feel good…Anyway, I think that Winry is most qualified to answer the AMV question.**

**Winry: We don't have computers here, so I don't really know, but I'd bet that you could search for it, right?**

_**That's all for now; I've gotta go to TaeKwonDo and I don't wanna get in trouble!!! Plus, there are no more questions, lol.**_


	20. Chapter 20

Thank goodness it's Spring Break or I'd NEVER get to all these questions!!! Thanks for your continued support. I'm beginning to read a bit of RoyxEd, by the way. It was by accident, but it's not as bad as I thought. But, sorry guys, I'm still a fan of EdxWinry, though I hope the answers haven't been/won't be biased in any way…Anyway, I also wanna say thanks to the people who put in a little comment or two for me personally…Sometimes there's not really anything to say in response, so I just wanna say thanks here!

I'm back! ((thunder crashes in the background))

Ed: Was it weird when you first got your automail, because your arm and leg were moving, but you couldn't feel them? And did you ever accidentally knock something over because you couldn't feel them? Also, what was your first reaction when you first found out that people paired you with Roy, Envy, and even sometimes (God forbid) your brother?

Al: Your voice is so cute! Ahem, when was the first time you brought a kitten home/asked Ed if you could get a cat?

Roy: Oh, so that's how it happened. And by the way, it's not sexy unless you're smiling. When you're being emo I just wanna lift up that eye patch, let go, and let it slap you in the face. Are you sure you're not secretly a pirate? And does the limited sight affect your ability to dodge?

Riza: Yes, Roy is definitely often an idiot. I love the episode in the anime when it was raining and you kicked him down before he could start fighting Scar, because he was so single-minded at that moment that he didn't realize that wet gloves can't make a spark. My friend and I were laughing so hard at that.

Dante: Yes, it is rather violent, isn't it? I'm awfully proud of myself for that one. Nyeh? A homunculus? Hah! I'd like to see you try! In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly dead, otherwise I wouldn't be writing to you. Besides, which homunculus would I be? As far as I know (which isn't very much considering I haven't read the manga, yet) all the spots are/have been filled. And you'll never take me alive! I hope you get eaten by a great white shark. Or Envy.

Hughes: Sure! I would love to join you and HisokaYukiko! Your daughter is adorable!

Envy: Well, if you're not going to crochet me a blanket, then at least make me a macaroni necklace. A preschooler can do that. Just don't eat the noodles, Envy-kun.

I'll be talking to you guys later!

Neassa-chan

**Ed: It was more painful than weird. Just because I couldn't "feel" them doesn't mean that I couldn't control them…After a while. I guess it was kind of hard during the rehabilitation to figure out everything, but I am proud to say that I've never knocked anything over like that.**

**Winry: What about my grandmother's vase?**

**Ed: They don't need to know about that. Besides, I fixed it. Er…Ahem, anyway, all I can say is that I'd REALLY prefer if I was paired with a girl. It's kind of frightening at times, you know? ESPECIALLY with Alphonse…**

**Al: Thanks! Um…I dunno, it was a really long time ago…wasn't it the cat by the river?**

**Ed: I thought it was the one in our tree house.**

**Al: Or maybe it was the one I found on our way back from school.**

**Ed: No, that was before the river, but after the tree house.**

**Al: Oh…hmm…That was a long time ago, so sorry, but I can't really remember ':3**

**Roy: I can act however I want to, because I'm not a pirate.**

**Ed: Yeah, like I said, he's a piro.**

**Roy: Shut it. After I'd gotten used to it, it didn't really affect me as much anymore, though I'd prefer it if people didn't attack me from that side.**

**Riza: Yes, isn't he, though?**

**Dante: I'd kill you first, obviously. You could be the new Lust, considering she's dead in both the anime and manga at this point (well, they're all dead in the anime, but still).**

**Envy: ARE YOU INSANE!!??!? NO, I WILL NOT MAKE YOU ANYTHING! You're lucky I don't kill you!!!**

Hello... it's been a while... MUWAHAHA!!

Winry- Thanks for the advice!! I'll use it!! But... I need to borrow your wrench to do so...

Ed- I thought you would be the one to say to beat my ex up... but I like Winry's advice better... cuz... I'm evil... so yeah... but thanks anyway!!

Roy- This is about what you said about Juliet Douglas aka Sloth, you do know she's a homunculus with water abilities... and you're the Flame Alchemist... not a good mix... But Brittany (My friend who loves you and Sloth as a couple) says go for it... then she went all crazy and jumped around all happy and stuff... Oh and she was screaming for you two to get married...

Sloth- What do you think about all this?

(Rest of questions will have to do with the Chibi OAV video that is a party after the movie.)

Lust- You are very emotional when you're chibi...

Scar- What was up with you and Lust wearing the jogging suits??

Hughes- OMG! I thought that it was really cute how you were showing Elysia to Dante but I think you were scaring her...

Shoushin

**Winry: ……Did I ever say you could use my wrench? Get your own! **(A/N Sounds like Aaron and his bowl…lol ACTOR COMMENTARY!!)

**Ed: She's very protective of her wrench…And you're welcome, anyway.**

**Roy: Um…no. I kind of meant it as a joke so…haha? Please. I'm not that much of an idiot.**

**Sloth: I think that I'll have to kill him. And possibly your friend, too.**

**Lust: …Sooo?**

**Scar: Do you have a problem with our choice of fashion or something? Do you? Because if you do, I can fix that…**

**Hughes: Scaring her? Nonsense!! Everyone loves looking at pictures of Elysia!**

Ed/Roy: No dodging this question, it's only hypothetical. If you two did get together, who'd be on top? Personally, I'd think Roy, because he's older and more experienced. (No offense Ed, but you could pass for a girl if you tried.) But, in a fanfic I read (Gold and Charcoal, on this site, it's awesome if you like Ed/Roy) Roy managed to become Ed and Al's pet. So Ed was in control. I could also see something with Roy being chained up... Oh, with a collar? Maybe I'd better stop before this gets too graphic? Well, bye!

Alykat2007

**Ed: …Whatever floats your boat (since it's not going to happen).**

**Roy: Hypothetically speaking, I'd say that you're right.**

**Ed: Hypothetically, of course.**

**Roy: Of course.**

Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,

Greed: I'm sure Ling won't screw up...I hope at least.

Ling: If you dare mess up as the new Greed I'll kill you in your sleep.

Riza: Is it hard keeping Roy and the others in line? Also, Black Hayate is adorable, teach him well.

SplitPersonalities

**Greed: You and me both.**

**Ling: I'd like to see you try!! Do you really think that you could kill a homunculus? And anyway, my body guards would come after you if you tried!!**

**Riza: Yes, it is. Especially the Colonel. I'll do my best with Black Hayate, too, so don't worry.**

Riza: Is there ever an actual, in-the-text explanation for what happened to the rest of your family? Like your mom? Also, a couple of fanfic writers assume that you are General Grumman's granddaughter. This one knows that there is a line in the anime that alludes to this, but other than that, is there any canonical evidence or is this just fandom?

Roy: After a long, intense discussion of the candidates running for President next year, this one and her friends have decided that you should join the race. But...you'd have to be pro-2nd Amendment or else Riza might hurt you...

Roy and Riza: If you die in the manga, which one of you do you think should go first, and how? Please answer!

--The Siacatmesecat

**Riza: No, so you might as well stop searching at this point. Maybe you'll find out later, but for now, no.**

**Roy: Is President anything like Fuhrer? If so, I'll gladly take the job. And what's this "Amendment" thing? I'd rather die first protecting Hawkeye; she is a woman, after all, so I'd give my life to protect hers.**

**Riza: No! I joined the military so that I could protect you; of course I'd give my life for yours!**

**Roy: …How about neither of us dies, okay?**

**Riza: Sounds good to me.**

Hoshi-Ryuu again, 

1. Russell- How did you get so tall? Yet you're taller than Ed.

2. Fletcher- I have a green hat, do you want one? Its a little bigger, but you can grow into it.

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULD GET STUCK IN THE RIDGES OF THE QUARTER AND NO ONE WOULD NOTICE HIM THERE BECAUSE HE'S SO SMALL!!???**

**Russell: No one ever said that. Munchkin. Anyway, I'm not going to tell you, because then Ed might try to get taller.**

**Fletcher: Don't listen to him; it's all genetics. Sure, I'd love a hat!**

OK, Question for Dante- CAN I BE A HOMUNCULUS!?!?!?! PLEASE!

Wrath- I once read this fanfic and it made me believe that you were stalking Al from in between the series and the movie, were you?

Ed & Al - WHA! I read an Elricest fanfic by accident and it was cool. EXCEPT FOR THE ELRICEST! (is scared)

Russell- You are my buddy (inside joke with my friends) but I think you should die so Fletcher can make a comeback and have more screen time.

Moofy-Fan

**Dante: No.**

**Wrath: …No.**

**Ed & Al: No!**

**Russell: Um, no.**

I got some questions...

Roy: WHY DON'T YOU JUST CLAIM ED FOR YOURSELF ALREADY? YOU BELONG TOGETHER! OH! AND you're SUPER, SUPER HOT! YOU ARE ON FIYAH, BABY!

Ed: We all know that you're so cool and beautiful and hotter than Roy and... and FOR GOD'S SAKE! YOU'RE PERFECT! Get together with Roy already! Why don't you try crossdressing, Ed? You would look so nice and Roy would totally be all over you.

Al: You're CUTE! Try giving Ed puppy dog eyes and (if) that fails, slowly look away and start tearing up, softly saying to yourself (but loud enough so he can hear) that Ed doesn't care for you... IT WILL WORK! My younger sister does it to me all the time...

Havoc: I would go out with you! You're so hot, but then again I'm only 13... YOU'RE STILL HOT, and sometimes I think that you're hotter than Roy... heehee XD

Envy: I LURVE YOU

Full Metal Rocker

**Roy: Because 1. I'm not gay and 2. Even if I was, I don't think that guys could say what you just did like a girl could.**

**Ed: I'd think I'd like to say thanks to a few of the things you said, but everything else you said has prevented me from doing so. ARE YOU CALLING ME A GIRL!?!?**

**Al: Thanks…you're talking about the cat thing…right?**

**Havoc: Okay, so I've got a bunch of underage fangirls…WHY CAN NO ONE THAT'S, SAY, 21 LOVE ME!?!?**

**Envy: I DON'T "LURVE" YOU.**

What is your opinion of fanfiction? Do you regard authors as the bane of your existence, or interesting peeps who give you insight about yourselves?

Roy, Ed, Al, and Envy, I know that in a million bazillion years none of you would ever get together for real. (But mild Elricest is so fun to read!)

Ed and Al, do you ever read stuff other than alchemy texts? I mean like, action/adventure and stuff? How about manga? XD

Am I annoying? Am I annoying now? How about now? Now am I annoying? Now am I? Huh? Huh? Huh?

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite

**Ed: Neither. I see the authors as annoying fangirls with drug problems. **(A/N Okay, I know most people aren't like this. Don't get mad.)

**Al: Brother! …Okay, so some of them are a little…intense, but not all of them are that bad!**

**Roy: As long as they're cute…**

**Riza: You forget that boys write fanfiction as well.**

**Winry: What do their looks have to do with anything, anyway?**

**Riza: That's just how he is…**

**Roy & Envy: THANK YOU.**

**Ed & Al: …Um…no……Uh…well we do read some other stuff…when we have the time…**

**Envy: YES! YOU'RE VERY ANNOYING!! SHO SHUT UP!!!**

**I have 3 questions left that I'll put up tomorrow or Wednesday (depending on how many more I get between each time). So sorry guys!! I would have them up now, but I decided to be a nice person and I let my sister, Keri, type up her Naruto fanfiction. I cleaned my room and wrote answers while she was on. Scary, I know. It may only be 4:15 here, but I'd also like to type up the next chapter of Like You, so if you still wanna read some of my stuff today, check it out!! (It's FMA, FYI).**


	21. Chapter 21

I don't want this to get off the Mon-Wed-Fri schedule, but I think that I'll update every day this week, due to Spring Break. I'm not sure how many I can get in, because my sister wants the computer too, but I'll do my best Also, the rating has officially gone up to T (so no censoring from now on), so I'll see how that goes. Finally, if there seems to be a bit of EdxWinry, it's 'cuz I just watched a Kiss The Girl AMV for them xD

Archer-  
What's it like being a cyborg?

Winry-  
You're awesome! You are such a caring soul.

Dante-  
I know most people want you to die (and you ARE evil), but not me. I'm okay with your existence.

Fuery-  
You are the best one in Mustang's outfit. You should be Fuhrer (I already made you Fuhrer in my fic, Return to the Valley of White Petals).

Riza-  
Since you and Mustang won't happen, how about you and me? Aside from the fact that I am 17, that is. Or at least friends?

UchihaNaruto59548 

**Archer: It pretty much sucks, except for the power advantages. Like now, I don't need a gun to go around shooting people because I _am_ (pretty much) a gun.**

**Winry: **(blushes) **Thank you so much! **

**Dante: I'm so glad that I have your permission to live.**

**Fuery: O-oh no…I don't think that I'd be suited for a job like Fuhrer…**

**Riza: First of all, I never said that Mustang and I "aren't going to happen", secondly, I'm not about to do anything illegal (I am in the military, after all), but I will be your friend, if you really want me to.**

_HELLO AGAIN!  
I'm in a really bad mood so I think I will take it out on you guys, kk?:)_

Ed:  
1.LET AL GET A CAT!  
2.I read the question where you said that you'd marry Winry... What about me! Oh well, guess I just have to get Winry out of the picture MUAHAHAHA!

Envy:  
1.I'M JOINING YOU!! WE WILL KILL ED AND WINRY! Wait...Ed likes Winry so we should just kill her instead, then he will be sad and maybe if were lucky he'll kill himself!!  
_2.If I stop bothering you about your palm tree hair (which its not palm tree like at all!) Will you give me a hug?_

Winry:  
Me and all my friends who watch FMA want you to die.

Wrath:  
(huggles you to death) SO CUTE!

Roy:  
1.SLAP pervert...

Riza:  
1.Can I have a gun? I wanna shoot people...

My anger is now gone and I just want to say that I appreciate you letting me be a jerk to you so the anger would subside.

Sincerely,  
CrimsonTears2

Ed: To answer your first question, NO. And if you lay one finger on Winry, I swear, I'll-

**Envy: You'll what? That sounds like a pretty good idea, but if you don't have a problem with my non-palm-tree-like-hair, then why would you say anything in the first place? But I won't give you a hug.**

**Winry: **(sniffles) **Why? What have I ever done to you?**

**Roy: As long as you're cute, you can slap me all you want…**

**Riza: …I think that that would be very irresponsible of me. I can't have you going around killing people with my guns…**

Ed  
-when you seen the "real world's" Scar and Lust, what did you think? Do you think he recognized you and Al because of him glaring at you? 

Al  
-same question as Ed.  
-what do you think about Noa?

Winry  
-when did you start doing automail?  
-Did you know that Noa got on top of Ed while he was sleeping so she could look into his dreams in Conqueror of Shambala?

Roy  
-how many kids would you want with Riza?

Riza  
-Same question as Roy.

Hughes  
-would you want more kids with Gracia if you survived?

Anime Greed  
-you are my favorite homunculus!

Harryswoman 

Ed: No, I don't think so. They probably just thought that we were weird.

Al: I was a little surprised to see them at first, but they didn't know who we were, so it was like we were starting over, almost.

Winry: When I was really little I got interested in it, but I didn't make my first one until around the time that Ed lost his arm and leg. And- what's the second question? Ed, I can't see. Move your hand!

Ed: It's really nothing, Win. Nothing important that you'd want to see…

Winry: Edward Elric, move your hand out of the way right now! (takes out wrench)

Ed: R-really, Winry, I swear it's-OW! (Winry hit him on his hand, which has now moved for her to see the question)

Winry: …Ed, what exactly have you been doing on the other side of The Gate????

Ed: Um…nothin' much…

Roy: (smirking) A LOT.

Riza: …Try to control yourself, sir.

Hughes: Of course!!! I love Gracia and Elysia SO much, so I'd love to have more kids!! Plus, I'm sure Elysia would love a little brother or sister.

Greed: Thanks.

_Question for…hm…Ed. Do you want stilts?  
Fletcher- passes him the hat there ya go. _

_Hoshi-Ryuu_

Ed: No……What, are you implying that I'm short or something?????

Fletcher: Thanks :

_Envy - Ha! Me and you are alright so I'll leave it at that._  
_Wrath - I know where you live.  
Gluttony - Booness...  
For Ed, Al and Winry- Was Ed attacked by a dog? Random I know._

_Dreams – United_

Envy: Um…yay?

Wrath: So? What are you gonna do about it? It's not like you can kill me or anything!

Gluttony: …?

Al: No, it was a fox

Winry?

Ed: On Yock Island.

Winry?

Al: When we were trying to pass Izumi's test.

Winry?

Ed: When we were kids.

Winry: What are you guys talking about!!?

Ed: It's nothing, Winry.

Winry: No fair! You guys never tell me anything!

Al: But this really wasn't important…!

Winry: I don't want to hear it! (hits Ed with her wrench)

Ed: H-hey!! Ow! What did I do??

_HIYA, FMA PEOPLES! No I have nothing better o do with my life than write you letters. I'm so ashamed... ((teartear)), Anyhoo-_

Ed: If you could say one sentence to all of your obsessed fangirls, what would it be?

Roy: You can't act however you want, Riza PWNS you!

Dante: Oh. Frick. Maybe I should_ read the manga. But I still want you to die an inhuman death. Maybe slowly flattened by a giant rolling pin..._

Envy: I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY! You know what? I bet you just don't know how to do any of this stuff! You have_ to be creative, if you weren't then you wouldn't have been able to come up with that funky-lookin' palm-tree-miniskirt-boy-or-girl form. Learn how to and crochet me a blanket, knave! Or else! ((Insert cheesy horror music here))_

Neassa-chan

Ed: Thanks, but don't do drugs!!!! (runs away so he doesn't get hurt)

Roy: …While this may or may not be true, I'm still her superior.

Dante: Not if I kill you first…

Envy: JUST GIVE UP ON IT ALREADY!!! I'm not gonna make you anything, so lay off!!! AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS FORM!????!?

_To all of the guys:  
Ain't it funny? Barely any of you get girlfriends and most girls hate you in your world, but in our world, every girl on the planet loves you guys to death._

_To Ed: I'm over you and now I'm switching into EdxRoy fangirl mode, so beware!_

To Envy: You don't make blankets and you don't make macaroni necklaces. Can you make me a sandwich?

To Lust: You're always jumping around and stuff, like all the other characters (You know, in fights and stuff). How the heck does you dress stay on? It looks like it would fall off any second! (Bet the guys would like that T.T;)

To Rose: Love your hair!

To Scar: You're way too religious!

To Kimbley: Could you blow up my school?

_HisokaYukiko_

Roy: What do you mean? I always get girlfriends!

Havoc: Because you steal them from me!!

Ed: I dunno…I think some of the guys are pretty popular around here…right Al?

Al: Why are you looking at me…?

Ed: You remember Ruby, don't you? (A/N Read the third novel ; )

Al: U-um…next question!

Ed: Right. Well…I'm not getting together with Roy, so you can just forget it.

Envy: I could, but I'm not going to.

Lust: It's a special dress. You think I would be wearing it if I wasn't completely confident in it's ability to stay on?

Rose: Thank you!!

Scar: May Ishbal have mercy on you… (reaches out hand)

Kimbley: Hell yeah, I could!! x

_Sorry, but I'm saving the last 3 questions for tomorrow. I think I'll update Wednesday and Thursday, but seeing as I'm not going to be home on Friday and then I have Tae-Kwon-Do right after, I probably won't update after that until next Monday. So get some more questions in before then, and I'll have some more for you tomorrow!_


	22. Chapter 22

I wonder if I can get this to 100 chapters…… 

Hi! I'm reviewing again cause a friend of mine wants to send a letter to the FMA crew and doesn't have an account here. So...:

Hallo, FMA people! First of all, I'm going to ask a couple of questions and comment on a couple of things, and then I need some advice…

Ed: I feel your pain! My friend (Neassa-chan) is ALWAYS making fun of my size! She thinks she's SO cool because she's taller than me (She is also looking over my shoulder right now). Also, she just informed me that you and I are the same height, 5'4". Is this true? And what is your problem with milk? It's so good, not to mention it might make you taller (although it hasn't worked on me yet…).

Al: I have a cat; you and I can share her! (Trust me she's fat enough to be two cats) I absolutely LOVE cats, so you and I are alike in at least one way! You and Hughes are my favorite characters. You're so cute♥!

Roy: You and my friend (still Neassa-chan) are both manipulative pyros, it scares me! Seriously, she carries matches in her pocket and is constantly burning candles. But I agree with her when she says that you should go for Riza. Have you ever unintentionally burned someone? If so, who? And have you ever unintentionally/intentionally burned one of Hughes' pictures?

Hughes: You are so funny; that's why your one of my favorite characters! I think Elysia is absolutely ADORABLE! I'd love to see some pictures of her.

Riza: I love how you're always threatening people with guns, it seems like great fun! Haha!

Now I need some advice. (Which IS what this column is originally for) My really, REALLY manipulative friend has somehow convinced another friend (David), without outright telling him, that I have a boyfriend, which I don't (unfortunately), and now he won't stop asking me who the guy is and if he knows him or not. Normally I would have done something, but they're both a lot taller than I am (much as I hate to admit it). She's having WAY too much fun with this, she usually doesn't do that kind of thing, but she was just having WAY too much fun. Maybe the charcoal fumes were going to her head…… What should I do?!?! I'm so lost and confused…  
Kody-chan

Neassa-chan

(P.S. If it's okay I'd like to add something to my letter in the part where I was addressing Envy.

Envy: Yes, I am insane, thank you very much.

Thanks!)

**Ed: What? Come on, I'm waaaaaaay taller than 5' 4"!!**

**Al: Actually, he's shorter than that.**

**Ed: Alphonse!!!**

**Al: That's his height with his boots and antenna.**

**Ed: AL!!!!**

**Al: What? It's true! We don't want to give the wrong facts!**

**Ed: So!?**

**Al: What do you mean, "so?"?**

**Ed: ………I'M NOT DRINKING MILK!!!!**

**Al: …You're just trying to avoid talking to me. Anyway. Thanks for letting me share your cat!! **(pets kitty)

**Roy: What's so bad about flames? I have slightly burned some of my teachers back when I was still in training, but nothing too serious. As for Hughes' pictures…maybe?**

**Hughes: I knew it! I was wondering where 30 pictures could run off to! I knew it was you!**

**Roy: …I never said that…**

**Hughes: Well anyway. Thanks Isn't she just ADORABLE??**

**Riza: Um…thank you…I think…**

**Ed: ARE THEY PICKING ON YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT AS TALL AS THEM???!? I'll BEAT 'EM UP FOR YOU!!!!**

**Winry: **(holding Ed back) **Um…Ed? They're still her friends…**

**Ed: SO?? THEY HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE WHO ARE SLIGHTLY SMALLER THAN THEMSELVES!!!**

**Winry: …This is just about your height, isn't it?**

**Ed: WHAT DID YOU SAY!???!?**

**Winry: Well if you're not going to help, then I will.**

**Ed: I was!!! I was offering to beat them up for her!!!!!**

**Winry: That's not helping!! Geeze, Ed, no wonder you get your automail messed up all the time! Anyway, listen, why don't you just try talking to them maybe? Express how upset you are about this, and that you really don't find it funny and they'll stop.**

**Envy: Yeah, that's obvious.**

Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,

Homunculi: How many of you actually like Dante? For those who DON'T like her, would you be glad to be rid of her, if possible?

Ed and Envy: You both dislike Hohenheim, so out of the two of you, who doesn't like him the most?

SplitPersonalities

**Lust: I was fine with her at first, but then I decided to do things my own way, making us enemies.**

**Greed: I hate her. She imprisoned me! So of course I'd like to get rid of her!**

**Ed: I kind of start to like him a little bit when I start living with him in Germany…**

**Envy: ME! I HATE THAT BASTARD THE MOST!!**

Yeah... I'm back!  
Roy: I hate you so bad for saying that. If I ever see you, I will kick you in the nuts for doing that to poor Edo! You broke his heart... You're still goddamn HOT though. Why don't you get together with Havoc then?  
Ed: I don't think you're a girl, I'm just implying that you look androgynous (which means you look like both girl and guy). I'll comfort you in your moment of sadness and heartbreak caused by that heartless and cruel Roy... Get together with Al then...  
Al: Yeah, I'm talking 'bout da cat thingy...  
Envy: TOO BAD! YOU HAVE NO CHOICE. 'Sides, I'm not forcing you to do anything. BTW, would you ever try seducing Roy?  
I know I'm on crack and super hyper, HUGHES! SHOW ME ELYSIA! SHE'S SO CUTE! I COULD LOOK AT HER FOREVER!

_Full Metal Rocker_

**Roy: I don't know what to say. Really. Why don't I get together with Havoc? Because neither of us is gay, and it's much more fun to just steal his girlfriends **

**Ed: I think you're talking about Envy. And why would I get together WITH MY BROTHER??? Of all the people in the world, why Alphonse?!!?**

**Al: Oh…um…okay…**

**Envy: THAT LOOKS A LITTLE LIKE FORCE TO ME! Like you could ever MAKE me do anything…NO, I'd never seduce that bastard.**

**Ed: Looks like we have one thing in common…**

**Hughes: OKAY!! Here's some from her birthday party, oh! and this one here is from the summer…**

Cornello- Did you know that Lust and Gluttony were Homunculi, or did you just think of them as your guardian angels? XP

How do you guys feel when people make AMVs about you to seriously angsty songs? I mean, not that it doesn't FIT, but it must be kind of awkward...

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite 

**Cornello: I had no idea that they were Homunculi. If I had known, do you really think that I'd have worked with them? They weren't quite guardian angels, either…more like advisors.**

**Ed: As long as I'm not paired with a guy…**

**Roy: As long as it isn't happy clips to go with the angsty music…**

**Winry: I guess that's okay. We all feel sort of angsty here and there, so I guess it could fit.**

**Al: If we don't watch them, then it's not really awkward **

Ed  
-Noa or Winry?  
-kids or no kids?

Al  
-how many cats would you like to get whenever you are able to?  
-what would you name them?

Winry  
-I think you may already know this, but in the manga, Scar kills your parents. Which do you hate more: Scar or Roy?  
-would you wait for Ed no matter what or move on with Russell Tringham since he's cocky like Ed?

Roy  
-kids or no kids?

Dante  
-did you and Hohenheim have "Envy" before or after you created the Stone?  
-if you had him afterwards, why didn't you use the Stone to revive him?

Envy  
-I may hate you for killing Ed and Hohenheim, but I love it when you call Ed a pipsqueak and when you say you're a pacifist, that's so funny.  
-I read in some fanfictions that you like to turn into women and do 'it' with guys. What do you think? I think it's just disturbing.

Hughes  
-do you have any photo albums for your pictures of your wife and daughter? If you don't, here are ten. gives them to Hughes   
-if you don't have that many pictures, take more and bug Roy about them.

That's all...for now.

Harryswoman 

A/N Ed's answer is because of my sister, Keri. Blame her (and Clash of T3h Animes) if you don't like it.

**Ed: Um…do I have to answer this?**

**Everyone: YES!**

**Ed: …Okay, fine then. I- **(falls into a coma)

**Al: Oh no! He fell into a coma!**

**Winry: Now he can't answer the question!! (He'd have picked me anyway, right?)**

**Al: I'd probably only get one or two cats. I'd probably name them after people I've met on our journeys. Maybe.**

**Winry: Even if he didn't kill my parents, I'd hate Scar more. He's just a senseless killer. He's tried to kill Ed and Al! At least Roy helps them out. And I'd wait for Ed. I know that he'd always return to me…**

**Roy: Do you really need to ask? KIDS!!**

**Dante: It was before. Do you really think I'm that stupid? Maybe I should teach you a lesson…**

**Envy: Yea, pretty disturbing alright…**

**Hughes: I already have photo albums to spare, but thanks for thinking of me! I just like to keep some with me at all times.**

Russell and Fletcher- What happened to your guys' mom? Was it traumatizing?

Ed- (from my friend) Are you an underage alcoholic, if not give proof! I have 3 proofs that you're disobeying the law of drinking, AND if so make sure to drink lots of milk: You're a growing boy!

Pride-You scare me to no end, go die in a gutter.

Roy- You are my other buddy (besides Russell) YAY MY AUNT'S HOUSE HAS NO DEPTH PRESEPION!

Moofy-Fan 

**Fletcher: She died after dad left.**

**Russell: Pretty much anytime someone's parent(s) dies it's traumatizing.**

**Ed: I'VE NEVER HAD AN ALCOHOLIC DRINK IN MY LIFE!! And I'm not drinking milk, either!!!!!**

**Pride: I could kill you very easily, you know…**

**Roy: Uh…yay?**

To Ed:  
1. Don't worry about the whole small thing, Tigerlily is really small as well and she loves it!  
2.What do you regret most?  
3. Why haven't you told Winry that you like her yet?  
And to Envy and Al, you're favorite characters, you both rock!

TigerlilyandHummingbird Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL YOU- 

**Winry: Ed, just give it a rest, would ya?**

**Ed: …The thing I regret most…That would be trying to bring our mother back and putting Al's soul in armor. As for the Winry thing…well, first of all, I'm not entirely sure of my feelings, I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship that we already have and…I'm afraid that she'll hit me with a wrench.**

**Al: Thanks :3**

**Envy: Just don't expect me to make you anything.**

Envy-  
You need to calm down, man. You're way too high-strung.  
Rose-  
The hair rocks!  
Scar-  
Those shades make you look like some sort of rock star. Good choice.  
Riza-  
Of course I want you to be my friend! But I think you need to relax a little.  
Roy-  
Your perversion puts me to shame... And stop stealing Havoc's girlfriends.  
Havoc-  
You need to take a walk, man. Clear your head, then you'll get lots of girls!  
Hughes-  
You rock! And you have one heck of a serious face. It kinda scares me.  
Ruby (from the third novel)-  
Can I live in Wisteria? It's such a peaceful place.  
Ed-  
Why are you so cynical? Also, what's your favorite part about having automail?  
Kimbley-  
Go explode.  
Pride-  
What's it like to be Fuhrer?  
And finally...  
Armstrong-  
Wow, you're strong...

UchihaNaruto59548 

**Envy: _I'm _too high-strung!?**

**Rose: Thank you **

**Scar: …Thanks.**

**Riza: I'll relax when the Colonel doesn't need me to baby-sit him anymore.**

**Roy: What are you talking about? Heh heh…I can't help it if they like me better than him…**

**Havoc: You can too!!**

**Hughes: Haha! **(changes to serious face) **Thank you.**

**Ruby: Sure, I guess. As long as you don't come with ill intentions.**

**Ed: …Because I am. My favorite thing about automail (besides the fact that it lets me have an arm and a leg again) is that I can transform it at will, like into a weapon if I need one.**

**Kimbley: How about I make _you_ explode?**

**Pride: It's really great. You get a lot of power and can control mass amounts of people!**

**Armstrong: OF COURSE!**

Dear Ed,  
I really like this one guy but he's moving this summer. Do you think I should let him know my feelings by kissing him after the Sadie's dance? (he's going with me as my date)

SnowySaku Roy: GO FOR IT!! 

**Ed: …She didn't ask you.**

**Roy: I can throw my opinion in, anyway.**

**Ed: …Well first of all, where's this guy moving to? If it's really far away, then no, just forget about it, because you'll both end up with broken hearts.**

**Winry: He's right, you know. Maybe you could tell him that you like him, though. If you really wanted to, you could go out until the summer, but like Ed said, you don't want to end up with a broken heart.**

**Ed: If he's only moving a town or two away or something, then you should probably tell him. Shouldn't he already know that you like him if he's taking you to a dance? If he likes you too, then I guess you could kiss him, but you wouldn't want things to get messed up by kissing him if he doesn't like you back.**

**Roy: If it doesn't work out, I'll kiss you…**

**Ed: Shut up.**

**I'd keep going, but I have something very important to do a little later. I'll start writing the ones for tomorrow, though! I started this a bit last night, but I had a really bad day today, so I hope I was able to stay in character and such. Maybe someone could even review on one of my stories to make me feel better. Either that, or write a REALLY good EdxWinry fic. I'm running out of them. Thanks and keep it real.**


	23. Chapter 23

I'm sorry I've been so behind D: I'll try to totally catch up today. I've recovered from my awful day yesterday, though. Now I'm just tired (I'm starting this at 8 am). I also had a dream the other night that everyone who's written in so far got REALLY mad at me, because I said something that was incorrect or something. It was scary ' I'm almost afraid to do this now…but not quite. So let's get going.

Hallo again FMA peoples!

Ed: Have you told Winry about the Psiren incident? ((evil grin))

Al Heiderich: You are awesome! I was so upset when you got shot! What was your first reaction to Ed's claim to be from another world?

Roy: Whatever, Hawkeye still pwns you... Hypothetically, how would you propose to Riza?

Dante: ((rolls eyes)) Oh, I'm so afraid (sarcasm).

Envy: I'LL NEVER GIVE UP! NOT UNTIL YOU MAKE ME SOMETHING! And the thing that's wrong with that form is that it makes people think you're a girl! Whether you are or not, you really, REALLY look like a girl. I just told my brother you were a guy and he didn't believe me. That's what my sister and just about everyone else I've talked to said. What do you have to say to that, mister? Oh, and what would you like to say to all he EdXEnvy fans out there? ((holds out microphone))

Gluttony: My best friend thinks you're creepy...

Greed: I'd have to say, you're probably my favorite homunculus. It sucks that Ed had to kill you.

Yeah, I have fun antagonizing some of you people, what can I say? Picking fights against hopeless odds is fun! Oh, one last thing. Ed, how do you be so short?

Neassa

**Winry: Ed, who's Psiren?**

**Ed: Um…nobody, just some woman who, uh, helped me with directions.**

**Winry: …You're lying.**

**Ed: No! I swear, I'm not!**

**Winry: I don't believe you, but I guess I'll let it go.**

**Al: **(whispering to Ed) **She must be in a good mood, Brother. She didn't even threaten you with a wrench!**

Heiderich: Yes, getting shot isn't the most fun thing in the world. I didn't completely believe Ed at first, and I pretty much thought that he was making everything up, or exaggerating a lot.

**Roy: I don't think so. Well…I don't know. I mean, I've never proposed to anybody before…Maybe I should test my skills…**

**Riza: I don't think so.**

**Dante: You BETTER be afraid.**

**Envy: JUST LAY THE HELL OFF!!! To all the EdxEnvy fans: WE'RE NOT GETTING TOGETHER SO JUST GIVE UP ON IT! I KILLED HIM, FOR GOODNESS SAKE! I HATE HIM!!!**

**Gluttony: …**

**Greed: Yeah, it does.**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT!?!?!?!?!?**

Envy-You're pretty cool and people give you crap, so here, I knitted you a blanket, don't let anyone steal it okay?

Havoc-Does this mean you're happy that little girls love you? Are you a pervert molester? EW!!

Maes-Get Elysia far, far away from Havoc, he's one of those weirdos you don't want your kid to EVER meet!

Ed-You have to choose one! Which is cuter: Winry or Noa?

Roy- Walks over and lays a big French style kiss on him MWAH! Man, I've always wanted to do that! Heehee! Walks away whistling

TheShadowedSparrow 

**Envy: **(sarcastic) **I'll try not to.**

**Havoc: WHEN DID I EVER SAY THAT I WAS OKAY WITH IT!?!? I said that I wish OLDER girls would like me!!!**

**Hughes: **(gasp) **Havoc!**

**Havoc: I am not!!!**

**Ed: Um……………Um……………**

**Winry: Is it really that hard?**

**Ed: No, not at all. I just know I'm going to get physically hurt in one way or another no matter what I say.**

**Roy: Whatever. I don't mind. **(grin)

Hi.  
Envy, I'm not trying to insult you or anything, but... in the anime profiles book it calls you a girl. It says she/her 5 times on your page (page 79). Sorry.  
Hughes, if you could go back to when Envy transformed into Gracia would you somehow hurt Envy to distract him then run away? Considering that it wasn't really your wife and all.  
Maria Ross, apparently you don't know why Denny Bloch was angsting when you went to Risembool. Have you figured it out yet?  
Everyone, if you had to kill one person or could only kill one person, who would you kill (no slipping out of this question.)

Kagemaru8462 

**Envy: It's not _my_ fault they can't type a single sentence without making a typo!**

**Ed: Er…well…**

**Envy: No one asked your opinion!**

**Ed: Hey, I'm trying to help you for once!!! Anyway, isn't it that, in Japanese, some pronouns could mean either "he" or "she".**

**Winry: I think you're right. Didn't they call Kirara a boy in InuYasha even though it's a girl?**

**Everyone: **(stares)

Winry: What? I like to read in my spare time.

**Ed: …Anyway. So it's up to the editor to decide. I think.**

(A/N I got this info from the manga translator of Naruto and InuYasha at a manga-con. So I'm pretty sure it's right)

Envy: So, in other words, the editor's pretty much an idiot.

**Ed: I guess you could say that, yeah.**

**Hughes: You know it!**

**Ross: **(sigh)** No. Men are one of the mysteries of life, I suppose…**

**Ed: Colonel Bastard. Just kidding. I don't hate him _that_ much. I guess I'd say Dante.**

**Envy: That bastard, Hohenheim.**

**Roy: The Fuhrer. And not just because he's a Homunculus.**

**Hughes: Envy (of course!).**

Paninya - I notice (manga) that whenever Ed gets beat up by Winry, you poke him with a stick. Its funny! But...why?

Envy - Your really skinny...I guess its cause of your outfit...To be honest I actually have nothing to say to you...but your my fave character so I can't ignore you.

Al - I feel bad you were stuck in armor, maybe it should have been Ed...

Ed - What about all the little things in life you enjoy that have milk? Like cake...

Noa - You do realize you were chosen for Ed's romantic interest...

Sloth - Whenever you speak...you sound so lazy...no offense.

Dreams – United 

**Paninya: Because it's funny!!**

**Ed: No it's not!!!!!**

**Envy: …Thanks that's…great.**

**Al: No! Not Brother! It's okay, really!**

**Ed: No it's not!**

**Al: …Okay, so it's not, but still! I don't want someone else to suffer like this!**

**Ed: I like stew, that has milk in it. Cake is too sweet…**

**Noa: That's okay… (It's Noa)**

**Sloth: Do you even know what "Sloth" means??**

_HI! Guess who's back? I got another few questions! ...And Ed and Envy still haven't kissed, that's so lame! You know what guys: The rejection thing and all that is very cute, but it's starting to get kinda annoying... Oh well, here are my questions:_

Roy:  
- Would you like being locked up in a closet with Riza?  
- How many women have you already gone out with? (just curious)

Ed: Not a question: I'm sorry for last time when I asked someone to kill you, you just reminded me of that short guy at school that I hate. Will you forgive me please?

Dante: I know everyone hates you but... you're AWESOME! Just because I love cruel people! Please make me a Homunculus so I can kill all those stupid humans! MUAHAHAHAHA! (I'm crazy)

Riza:  
-Why did you name your dog Black Hayate? It's kind of an unusual name...  
- For God's sake, when are you gonna admit your feelings for Roy, you make such a cute couple!

Kimbley: OMG, I used to hate you but I just saw the manga, your alchemy technique is so cool! Will you blow up my town and all the useless and pathetic humans in it?

Well that's all for now, bye guys!

_starlight-phenix_

Envy & Ed: ……… 

**Roy: YES, I WOULD!!!**

**Riza: …Oh my goodness…Please try to control yourself.**

**Roy: Hahaha!! I've gone out with so many women that I really can't remember how many I've gone out with!!**

**Riza: **(sigh)

Ed: WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT SHORT PEOPLE!?!?!? I don't know if I can forgive you now…

**Dante: Heh heh…sure thing…**

**Riza: I thought it was a very cute name.**

**Roy: Riiight…**

**Riza: …You want me to tell _him_ I like him?**

**Kimbley: Heh heh. Hell yeah, I will!**

Hi FMA people ready for some questions? Good, cuz here we go.  
I'll start with Ed. Why do you care so much if people call you short? Who cares if you're so short that when people walk around you that you get kicked in the face?

_Now for Al. Do you know where I can get your armor and you should get a dog not a cat a dog can save you when your in deep sht. Oh, and there is a reason you always beat Ed in fights: it's because he is so short that all you have to do is jump to make him miss you and then attack._

_This one is for Winry. You hit Ed with a wrench too much. You need to use a hammer; it works better._

_Now for the great Flame Alchemist. You need better short jokes if you want you can take mine. And were you on pot when you first made your flame power or did it just come to mind? Oh do you think you could beat a guy who fights like you but with electric? You need to tie the knot with Riza man and do it fast, you to are meant to be._

_This is for Armstrong: Do you think you could beat Roy?_

_Now for Havoc. Do you think you can beat Roy in hand-to-hand combat? If you do then you should try and get your pride back._

_Now for Riza. Do you prefer a handgun or a sniper?_

_Well that's all for now I'll be back and the great Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang is the best of them all, and then Al._

_Devine Spark Alchemist_

**Roy: Haha! Hear that? I'm "The _Great_ Flame Alchemist!!!"**

**Ed: No, but you _are_ something else. AND WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE CALLING SHORT!!???!!???**

**Al: Umm…I have no clue. Dogs are nice, too, but I just think that cats are so much cuter :3 My Brother isn't _that_ short!!**

**Ed: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? I'M NOT SHORT AT ALL!!!**

**Al: Well, I wouldn't say _that_…**

**Ed: Whose side are you on, anyway!??!?**

**Winry: Unfortunately, automail doesn't require hammers, so I don't really have any lying around.**

**Ed: Thank goodness. Hey, do you have something against me or something??**

**Roy: I could always use more ways to torture Ed…Um, no, I don't do drugs. I can beat anyone; I am "The GREAT Flame Alchemist", remember? Right now, I'm not ready to get married.**

**Armstrong: In a fist fight, DEFINATLY!!!**

**Havoc: I don't know…maybe…**

**Riza: A handgun. Definitely.**

**Roy: Haha! "GREAT"!!!**

**Ed: You can stop that now…**

Roy,  
Have you ever kissed a guy by accident?

Al,  
Have you ever considered getting married to a cat? Is that even legal?

Ed,  
Thanks for the advice from last time!

Snowysaku

Roy: No, and I don't plan to.

**Al: Umm…no…I just want one for a pet…Is that so wrong?**

**Ed: No problem.**

_I'm back AGAIN! :) This time, I have questions/statements for the homunculi, Dante, Scar, Izumi, and Major Armstrong._

Envy: I know you couldn't remember your true form for a while, but why did you pick that palm-tree like one? Did you think that was your true form? Or did you see it somewhere? If so, where did you see it? (p.s. I know it's not a miniskirt. It's shorts with drapery.)

Lust: nice nails. Is Gluttony more like a pet, a servant, or a child to you?

Gluttony: do you ever think for yourself, or do you let Lust do it for you? Just curious...

Greed: umm... you were always saying that you wanted to be like Al by putting your soul in armor. I thought Homunculi had no souls.

Sloth: ...Nice job with mothering Wrath...

Pride: How do you manage to be the Fuhrer and a homunculus at the same time? Is it hard?

Wrath: what do you think of Izumi? Do you hate her now, or are you indifferent?

Dante: did you pick the Sins' (minus Greed and Pride) outfits? If so, why those ones?

Scar: Yo. I don't support your cause, but I commend your faithfulness.

Major Armstrong: Dude. You're scary. And why are the sparkles pink? It makes them scarier.

Izumi-sama: is it hard to see Wrath as a homunculus? Do you still think of him as your son, or not?

Oh yes, and my sis says to say "hi" to everyone, or she'll find her pliers and pinch my nose --'

respectfully,  
aliveinchrist13(who will be back... oh yes :) )

**Envy: It's just something I had to use one time and I decided to keep it for a while. IT'S NOT DRAPERY, EITHER!!**

**Lust: Thank you. He can be like all three.**

**Gluttony: …Yes.**

**Greed: Details, details…**

**Sloth: …Thanks…**

**Pride: It can be hard at times, but if you play your cards right, it can be quite rewarding…**

**Wrath: If you mean at the end of the series, I like her again.**

**Dante: Yes, I did. Why, do you have something wrong with them? **(glare)

Scar: That's great. I'm just so happy you feel that way.

Armstrong: How can I possibly be scary!? MY SPARKLES JUST MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE IN!!!

Izumi: It _is_ hard, but I don't think of him as my son.

Winry: Hi to your sister!!

_Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,_

Roy: You steal Havoc's dates a lot, right? So...what would happen if he accidentally dated a guy? Would you steal that date too?

Izumi and Sig: It's nice how you two love each other, don't let anyone ruin that love!

Kimbley and Archer: You guys suck. I hope you both go to the underworld when you die.

SplitPersonalities

Roy: Havoc, you date guys?

Havoc: HOW COULD I POSSIBLY "ACCIDENTALLY" GO OUT WITH A GUY!?

Roy: There are a lot of guys out there that look feminine. Take FullMetal, for instance.

Ed: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?

Havoc: Hmmm, you're right.

Ed: DON'T TAKE HIS SIDE!!

Roy: See what I mean?

Havoc: Yeah, you're right, I do. But I can tell a guy from a girl, and I'd never go out with a guy.

Envy: (walks by)

Havoc: Wow, that chick's pretty cute! I wonder if she's single…?

Envy: I'M A MAN!!!!!!

Havoc: …That was a one time thing…I'll never mistake a guy for a girl again…

Izumi: Don't worry, we won't. (A/N Ever hear that song "Even In Death" by Evanescence? Check it out. It pretty much works for them)

Kimbley: I hope you don't cry when I blow you up.

_Hi guys!_

Envy: If all of the fangirls got together and washed your hair till the spikiness fell out, then put in an afro, would you be a broccoli tree instead of a palm tree?  
Ed: Do you think Envy with an afro would be a broccoli tree?  
Dante: If you don't really like other humans, why'd you train Izumi?  
Izumi: Did you ever suspect anything...evil...afoot during your training? And...Why did you have to die in the movie?! Though the scene with Wrath was cute...

_Siacatmesecat_

Envy: What the hell- does broccoli even grow on trees?!?! NO!

Ed: Yes.

Envy: NO!

Ed: YES. You would be a broccoli tree!!

Envy: JUST SHUT UP BEFORE I KILL YOU!!!

Dante: You never know when you might need backup…Though it didn't turn out as I'd hoped…

Izumi: Why do you think I left? Is it _my_ fault that I died?

_If you could choose to burn or freeze to death, which one would you choose? (assuming all of you homunculi had puked up all you Philosopher's Stones already.) (this one is open to whoever has an opinion.)_

_HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite_

Roy: Burning is so much better than freezing.

Ed: If you burn to death, it'd probably be faster.

Al: But if my armor got cold enough, it'd become brittle and break, so that'd be faster for me.

Wrath: Burn, I guess.

Envy: Freeze.

Lust: Burn.

_First of all I've got to say, I love you Roy. You're my favorite character, but you've got to lose the mini skirt thing. There are a lot of people out there who just look better in pants. Oh and Al, challenge Ed to some type of challenge and if he lose you get to keep a cat._

fallen-snow

Roy: Give up on miniskirts? Are you joking or something?

Al: That's a great idea!! Oh, Eeed!!

_It's me again!!  
Envy: I gotta agree with UchihaNaruto59548. You should calm down a little, chill. Do some yoga, go to a SPA. Have a 'it's all about me day' and don't let Dante or the other homunculi tell you that you can't. Just don't go around killing people. (gives chocolate)These should make you happy!!_

Wrath: Why not? Your hair looks so soft!!

_Sweetkittens_

Envy: No! Spas are for girls, anyway!

Ed: So it'd be perfect for you!

Envy: Shut up! Anyway, I don't like chocolate, either! Maybe I'd be happier if you people left me alone about my looks and pairing up with the FullMetal Pipsqueak!

Wrath: Just no! I don't want anyone touching my hair!!!!

_Hello I'm back! MUWAHAHA!! -blows on dog whistle-_

Sloth: Brittany (my RoyXSloth obsessed friend) said she's going to put you in a tanning bed so you evaporate before you kill her...

Roy: You're an evil man... -squirts him with a water gun- take that!

Lust: Well... I just thought it was weird... I mean you just suddenly started to cry when Ed said that the movie was over...

Scar: o0 No... I don't have a problem with the jogging suits but... you two were in armor... so I just thought it was strange. It must have been very, very hot being in those suits of armor and wearing the jogging suits... I hope you two didn't faint while walking around in them.

_Shoushin_

Sloth: I'd like to see her try to catch me.

Roy: Hey! Now that wasn't very nice…

Lust: Do you have a problem with that or something?

Scar: Of course we didn't.

_That's all the questions I have! I'll be back on Monday with more. It's now 2 in the afternoon……heehee, and I started at, what, 8? I just watched the FMA OAV Chibi Party, so I totally get it all now. Go UTube (I finally got it to work so I can play AMVs on my uber slow computer )! So, I'll see you with another chapter on Monday._


	24. Chapter 24

_**Whenever I look in my in-mail, here's what I see:**_

**_bot fanfiction . com_****_ FF review alert Story: FMA Advice Column_**

**_bot fanfiction . com_****_ FF review alert Story: FMA Advice Column_**

**_bot fanfiction . com_****_ FF review alert Story: FMA Advice Column_**

_**That's the majority of my mail these days…Not that I'm complaining, I really love this lol. I just wish I'd get as many reviews for my other stories as I do for this one lol. Also, my sister and I were talking last night about InuYasha and FMA, and we realized that "Fletcher" and "lecher" rhyme!!! 0o uh-ohs…**_

Ed  
-you shouldn't be so sensitive about your height (even though your outbursts are funny). You do get taller in the movie.

Winry and Riza  
-did you two know that you had the same hairstyles in the movie?

_Harryswoman_

**Ed: How, exactly, are my outbursts funny!??!?! Maybe if people didn't bother me about it so much, I wouldn't have such a problem!!!**

**Winry: Well, yeah. Whenever I snuck into the military I "borrowed" her hairstyle, and I liked it so I used it for a while afterwards.**

Hey guys! I'm back!! Okay, now..

Wrath, Fletcher: Do either of you want a sucker? -holds one out-

Roy-...get a life...

Black Hayate- -pats head.-

Bye for now!

Hoshi-Ryuu

**Fletcher: You mean a lollipop? Sure **(takes one)

**Wrath: You only held one out! I want one, too!**

**Roy: I go out many nights after work. I'm pretty sure that I have more of a life than most people, including you.**

**Black Hayate: Arf! Arf! **(wags tail)

OK now...you guys have sorta got me in a foul mod so..

Sloth - Yes, I know what Sloth means.

Wrath - Hi there! See I won't be rude to my favorite sin.

Envy - Calm down. Like frig, you need to relax.

Ed - You're vertically challenged. Can you deal with that fact??

Fletcher - Ha, you and Wrath are the cutest.

Dreams – United 

**Sloth: Then you should have known why I sound "lazy".**

**Wrath: Thanks…But I still want my lollipop.**

**Envy: Maybe _you_ should all relax. AND STOP CALLING ME A GIRL AND STUFF!!**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL AN ANT COULD CRUSH HIM AND NOT EVEN REALIZE THAT HE'S THERE!?!?!!!?**

**Fletcher: Heehee! Thanks :3**

Rant begins:

This fcuking asshole on livejournal said, and I quote, "'Hilaria'...was that name given in seriousness? I mean, it practically BEGS to be mocked." about my OC name (and, through that, my pen name) and I am seriously pissed.

Rant ends.

What is the best way to get back at this bitch?  
Thanks.

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite Winry: Well……I guess you could always talk to her and tell her to lay of… 

**Ed: I say, if she's making fun of what you believe or whatever, you shouldn't hold back! Yeah! Trash her name all around the web!**

**Winry: Yeah, but two wrongs don't make a right…**

**Ed: So? She asked how to get back at the bitch!**

**Winry: Yeah, but I mean, that could just make things worse. She should just ignore her.**

**Ed: I still say trash her…**

Hello... I'm insane still and I'm fully energized with coffee!!

Everyone: Happy Easter!!

Sloth: Believe me... she will try... and she might catch you... all she'll need is... a waterproof vacuum cleaner!

Roy: Who said I was nice? When I was talking to Winry and Ed I told them I was evil!! I'll show you... -goes over to Ed, and kicks him in the shin... not his automail shin... his human leg shin- Rip off artist!! MUWAHAHAHA!!

Lust: Both you and Scar think I have a problem with something! I don't have a problem with anything! Besides... I just thought... it was very weird... and it kinda scared me...

Scar: Sure... yeah... I'll believe you when... uhh... dogs fly!

Winry: You read InuYasha? YAY! I wish you could watch the show... but you don't have a television. Hey... who's you favorite character? Is it Kagome? Because I think you two are alike... here's one example: You both have to deal with stubborn guys! -laughs-

Shoushin Everyone: Thanks!! 

**Ed: I don't believe in god…**

**Everyone: …"**

**Sloth: I really don't think that she could.**

**Roy: Haha! Nice!**

**Ed: THAT WAS NOT FUNNY!!**

**Roy: Of course it was.**

**Lust: Good. You'd better not have a problem with it.**

**Scar: Don't push your luck…**

**Winry: In my spare time, which I don't have much of. That's why I read manga; they're faster to read than novels. I really like Sango, too…but I do agree with what you said about Kagome!!**

**Ed: What's that supposed to mean!?!?**

**Winry: …Noooothing…You never tell _me_ anything, so why should I tell you?**

Ok me again and I got a question for Fletcher- What is your favorite animal, and what would you do if Russell died of red water poisoning?

Russell-I got a friend who was mad at me for saying you should die, but I it doesn't really bother me if you would live or not; I'm fine with ether.

Ed (movie)- Oh ya, then WHY was their alcohol in YOUR room, on YOUR table? I don't think it was Heiderich's, now was it?

Moofy-Fan 

**Fletcher: Umm…I guess I like birds…If Russell died, I'd be _very_ sad, but I'd try to move on and keep studying Alchemy.**

**Russell: You don't know how excited I am to hear that.**

**Ed: Technically, Al Heiderich owned the place. Anyway, why the hell would I want to drink that CRAP? It messes you up and stuff. It isn't logical. And anyway, did you actually SEE the word "alcohol" on it? I don't think so.**

**Winry: It SOUNDS like you're trying to cover something up…**

**Ed: I'm not!!!**

Dearest Scar,  
Incidently, I've noticed an utter lack of fandom for you, but I want to let you know that you are not left out. Just because I fear you doesn't mean I don't have the urge every now and then to run up and give you a hug or ruffle your hair (Provided you don't blow my brains out my ass). On another note, I am currently writing a fanfiction regarding you and the Colonel (NO YAOI! It's a gag gift) called "Ishbalan in a box", based on the those little clowns in the box that play the pop goes the weasel song (Pop goes the alchemist...), I wanted your opinion on that...

Sincerely,  
Teh Okamiluva, one of a small group of Scar fans

**Scar: I thank you for the support (even if it was a little creepy when you said you want to ruffle my hair). Personally, it sounds to me like that story of yours is going to be…messed up in some way, but don't let that stop you from writing in.**

Hola! I'm in a MUCH better mood today!

Envy:  
1.YAY!! ME AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE TIGHT! links arms and starts skipping with him  
2.You always seem so gloomy...you know what I think you need? smooches him on lips

Winry:  
1.I apologize for everything I may have said. But I still think you and Ed don't suit each other, you're too mean.

Ed:  
1. tears well up in eyes IM SO SORRY EDO-KUN!  
2.I am afraid I can't marry you, I am destined to be with (dun dun dun...) HAVOC! (teehee just kidding!) I'm actually destined to be with Roy.

Roy:  
1.I'm sorry I slapped you... kisses it better There!  
2.Can I join the military? PWEEASE!

To Ed & Al:  
You should watch 'Date Rape' on YouTube... So much EdxAl, I couldn't watch it all:)

Dante:  
1. Can you make me into a homunculus? That would be so awesome... pictures what life would be as a homunculus sigh...

Kain:  
clings to you You are just to cute for words!

Riza:  
1.Pleaasee give me a gun... I promise I'll use it responsibly (on other people) You could even teach me how to use it! (Even better! poor unsuspecting people)

That's all for now! Love you All! But Especially Envy, Roy, Ed, Kain, Al, Hughes and Havoc!

Sincerely,  
CrimsonTears2

Envy: …Get the hell away from me! 

**Winry: Thanks for the apology…**

**Ed: She's not that mean. I mean, sure, she gets pissed off easily, and she beats me over the head with a wrench for the smallest things…let's see, what else?**

**Winry: Are you DONE, Edward??**

**Ed: Um…y-yes? Oh, when did I ever ask to marry you?**

**Havoc: STOP PICKING ON ME!!!**

**Roy: I'll pick you up tonight for our date around seven ;) Oh but, uh, you can't join the military. Especially not after you slapped me.**

**Ed: I don't think I want to…**

**BakaKonekoRKL: That's one of my favorite videos!! I've been watching it every day for the past week! XD**

**Ed: You're just sick.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Thank you! But it's not just EdxAl. Well, the one I saw wasn't anyway.**

**Dante: I don't think so.**

**Fuery: Thank…you? Um, could you let go now? Please?**

**Riza: I'm not going to teach you how to use a gun just so that you can hurt innocent people with it. A gun should be used for defense and in battle.**

Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,

Kimbley: I'm pretty sure I won't cry if I get blown up...which I won't since I escape death a lot. Also, you can't blow me up 'cause...YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE I LIVE! HAH!!

Roy: Ed doesn't look like a girl...much at least. You know, one day he's gonna get back at you, so you better watch out.

Ed: I just read the second novel and it's so funny how you tricked those ladies into thinking Roy was your dad.

Scieszka: I like your ability, it'd be so useful if I could remember almost everything I read.

SplitPersonalities

**Kimbley: I can find out.**

**Roy: Please. I'm not afraid of _him_.**

**Ed: You should be. Heh, thanks. I love making him look like an idiot X-)**

**Scieszka: Thanks so much I'm glad that I can help people using my talent.**

Hi! Me again!  
Roy: ROY MUSTANG, YOU ARE A SEXY, SEXY BITCH... ON FIYAH, BAYBEH, ON FIYAH! S... OH! And you may not be gay, but you have to be bi at least, you know, bisexual... I mean, Ed would make the straightest of the straight drool...  
Ed: I'm not referring to Envy... People can tell you're a guy right away but you still look like a girl... Are you bi?  
Al: Sorry, nothing to say except... WOULD YOU EVER HAVE SEX WITH YOUR BROTHER?  
Envy: FINE! You wear a skort, right? A shorts-skirt kinda thing... Would ya ever like or like-like one of the homunculi?? And I still LURVE you, Envy...  
Haha... You would never have guessed, but I'm a GIRL!

Full Metal Rocker 

**Roy: I sure hope you're a girl, if you're saying that stuff to me. Um, and I've never looked at another guy. Ed is too young for me, anyway. That might be considered pedophile-ism.**

**Ed: I'M NOT A GIRL AND I'M NOT BI!!!!!**

**Al: Um…Brother…? What's she talking about………?**

**Ed: ……Great. Now, thanks to you, I need to give Al "the talk".**

**Al: That doesn't sound good…**

**Ed: And NO, he wouldn't!!**

**Envy: NO! It's not a fcuking skort!!!! Probably not, but there are some female homunculi.**

**Ok, that's 10 questions This column is brought to you by the following AMVs on YouTube: Date Rape, Circle of Transmutation, It Sucks To Be Me, and Roy, There is Life Outside Your Apartment. 3 I have 3 left over that I'll start with on Wednesday. 'Till then!**


	25. Chapter 25

WOO!! Only 75 more chapters till 100! I'm at the ¼ point! Lol. I'm stressing a bit right now (for school, not this) so the updating of this may not be as good as it could be. Blame my addiction to fanfiction and the essays I have to write xP

Ha ha! I'm back with questions! Here they are:

Dear Ed,  
Can Al have a cat in the next 5 minutes? Or maybe in the next hour. How about in a year from now can he have a cat? Please? What will it take to make you say 'yes'?! Hey, what if you give Al a cat and then I will never bother you with this again? Plus nobody else would either.

Dear Al,  
I have a plan. If Ed says 'no' then we can ship him overseas and while he's far, far away we can go cat shopping!

Dear Armstrong,  
I really like it when you pose and flex your muscles; it's great! So what makes the sparkles appear around you?

Dear Winry,  
I need advice and I think that you are the best person to ask. Okay so there was this boy that I liked. He was nice to me but then all of a sudden he just started being a jerk, not just to me but my friend also. What should I do?

See ya!  
kuri-chan

**Ed: If you keep asking like that he'll NEVER get a cat!**

**Al: But she has a point, you know…**

**Ed: Why can't anyone just be more patient!?**

**Al: You're one to talk. Eheh, anyway, I don't think that I'd want to ship Brother off to another country or anything like that just so I could get a cat ' Sorry!**

**Armstrong: THANK YOU! THE PINK SPARKLES ARE A SECRET THAT HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS, SO I CAN'T TELL YOU!**

**Winry: He could be acting that way for one of two reasons, I think. One, he knows that you like him, and he doesn't like you, so he's trying to get you to stop liking him. Or two, he likes you too and…well, he _is_ a boy, right?**

**Ed: What's THAT supposed to mean!?**

**Winry: Well, sometimes guys suck at showing that they love someone. So he might think that it's "cool" to be a jerk to you and your friend. Whatever it is, you should probably talk to him. Who knows, maybe it has nothing to do with you, but the kids he hangs out with.**

**A/N I dunno if I sent a reply back, but it's no problem Trust me, I get about 20 e-mails for this a day, one more isn't gonna hurt **

Hey Ed look who's back! And I have more questions so as before, here we go. Well I'll answer your question Ed: no I don't have anything against you, but you're the only one that I can really pick on, I mean yea, Envy looks like a girl but people like him are not a new thing nowadays but it's fun to mess with you (unless you can give me something to mess with someone else with). Oh and I'm with you and Envy about that sick EdxEnvy crap that's just wrong and I mean it all; the gay love thing is sick. Hmm I'll do Pride next. DUDE why did you kill your kid man if you would have told him to live with it he would have and even if I am a Roy fan you would have won. Now for (as I said last time) the great Flame Alchemist. Hey dude I know how people mess with you about stealing Havoc's girl's but you should; I mean it must be simple, he has no backbone so unless he gets one, no girl will date him for long. Now Armstrong. You need to put Havoc in some super training of yours to give him a backbone! Now Hughes. I don't like that people make you look like the stupidest man that was ever born. So what if you're crazy about your kid? That shows you love her. Well, I'll be back and hey Ed, you should be happy: no short jokes.

Devine Spark Alchemist Ed: Just because you CAN pick on me doesn't mean that you SHOULD 

**Winry: Ed, calm down, EVERYONE picks on you. It's not like it's something new.**

**Ed: Not EVERYONE! I mean, I'm pretty sure Lieutenant Hawkeye hasn't ever made fun of me!**

**Riza: **(clears throat)

Ed: Not you too!!! 

**Riza: Um…let's get on with the questions, shall we?**

**Pride: He wasn't really _my_ kid. The person that I was supposed to have been, he was the father, but not me, and I didn't really have any feelings towards the kid, anyway.**

**Roy: Haha, yes I agree!!**

**Havoc: That's not true! Have you read this column? Plenty of girls say that they'd go out with me and not the Colonel!**

**Roy: But would you be willing to put it to the test?**

**Havoc: Of course!**

**Roy: Well that's great, considering you'll never meet any of those girls. **(smirks)

**Armstrong: GREAT IDEA! COME, HAVOC! WE'LL GET STARTED RIGHT AWAY!! **(drags Havoc off)

Havoc: Um, that's not really necessary!! 

**Hughes: Thanks, I feel the same way **

Hi! This is the first time I write to you all, so these questions are for everyone in general:  
Which are your favorite opening and ending songs from the anime? (FMA anime of course XD)  
Do any of you play any sports?? Because until now I've never seen any sign of existence of any sport, neither in the anime nor manga haha! (however I've seen a picture where you all are playing soccer and basket XD it's really cool!)  
What do you think of Hiromu Arakawa? Do you even know who is she? (in other words she's like your god; your creator XD )  
Well, that's all for now I'll be back later, see you then!

_roa07_

**Ed: I like "Rewrite" the best.**

**Winry: I like "Motherland" (even though it's really sad) and "Kesenai Tsumi".**

**Al: Does the movie count? I like "Link".**

**Roy: "Undo" and "Ready, Steady, Go".**

**Riza: "Tobira no Mukou e".**

**Hohenheim: "Melissa".**

**Scieszka: "I Will" is my favorite.**

**Ed: The only thing close to a sport that Al and I do is our martial arts and sparring. But really, who has time for sports when you're trying to do something like find the Philosopher's Stone? Besides, it's not like we don't get enough exercise.**

**Winry: Yeah, I don't have time either, but I get enough exercise doing automail, and then just playing with Den, like taking him for walks, and also going to town for groceries and things.**

**Ed: Um, who? I don't believe in god.**

It's me again! I'm dead because Scar killed me after I made that 'Way too religious' comment, but my ghost has come back to haunt you all!

To Ling (Manga):  
1. That time when you guys were trapped in Gluttony's stomach and Ed pulled off his shoe and was all, "Hey, let's eat our shoes!", I laughed so hard, my brain turned to mush and seeped out of my nose!  
2. Did you actually EAT Ed's shoe?  
3. You're kinda hott.

To Falman:  
How old are you? My friend said you're about a hundred (He's crazy), but I think you're in your fifties, right?

To Ross (Manga):  
How does it feel to be in a situation like that? You know, being convicted of a crime you didn't commit and having to sneak out of the country and all that stuff. You are a very strong woman for not freaking out after all this (I know I would freak). I admire you.

To Pride (Anime):  
That Ouroborus on your eye thing is really freaky. But I think it's cool. Did anyone ever question how you got your eye patch? If they did, how did you answer them?

To Dante:  
What happens to people after you take over their bodies? I mean, what happens to their souls and all that?

HisokaYukiko 

**Ling: HaHa!! It's a secret ;)**

**Falman: …I don't think that I feel like telling you…**

**Ross: It was horrible. I'm just glad that I have such good friends to help me through it all.**

**Pride: I'm in the military. I suppose that it was pretty much assumed that I'd gotten it shot out in battle, or something of the kind.**

**Dante: They die. A body cannot hold two souls at the same time, so the person's soul dies but the body stays alive with my soul in it.**

-starts laughing like a maniac- The crazy person is back!!

Sloth: Now I don't think she would kill you... you're her fave character... besides Roy...  
Hm... I just got an idea... sense you're good with kids... I guess... could you baby-sit my baby sister?

Roy: You liked that? Hm... okay then I'll do it again... -kicks Ed again-

Lust: Stop saying that!! I already told you I don't have a problem with it!

Scar: But... I want to push my luck... -gets a box, writes 'luck' on it and starts pushing it- See... I'm pushing my luck... LOL 

Winry: You like Sango? Wow... my friend, Lana, likes you and Sango. And I think she would hug you for that... if she was here right now...

Ed: You're exactly like Inuyasha, Ed! You're stubborn and you're really dense! LOL

Wrath: Sense Hoshi-Ryuu didn't give you anything... -gives him 13 lollipops, 7 chocolate bunnies, 10 bags of M&Ms and 5 cans of coke- There... have fun with the sugar rush...

Shoushin Sloth: You really want a Homunculus baby-sitting your baby sister? 

**Ed: OW! WHAT THE HELL!?**

**Roy: HaHaHa!!!!**

**Lust: Good.**

**Scar: You're beginning to annoy me…**

**Winry: HeeHee! Tell her hi for me **

**Ed: Why are you picking on me?**

**Winry: But it's the truth, Ed!**

**Ed: No way.**

**Wrath: **(eating sugary-foods) **Sugar rush? What's that?**

_**5 minutes later…**_

Wrath: WowThisIsGreatHIIIIIIIIIEveryoneILikeSugarIFeelFullOfEnergyAMITALKINGTOOLOUD???

**Ed: My ears…are burning…**

Hello!

Envy:  
1.Well that isn't a very nice thing to say, Envy. I was just trying to cheer you up. Hmph well I'm still joining you because I rock and I say so. And I suppose I will stay three steps away from you, deal?  
2.Why are you so awesome? Can you teach me how to be awesome like you? If you don't then I will hug you when you're not looking!

Winry:  
1.hugs you Glad you accept my apology!

Ed:  
1.You never asked to marry me I just sorta decided that we were going to get married. But not anymore!

Havoc:  
teehee, I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it! It just fit so well.

Roy:  
1.Seven sounds good!  
2.crying I'm sorry...

Dante:  
Pff fine! I never thought you were cool anyways, hag... I can't believe Hohenheim liked you, ugh. (and I'm not saying this cuz you wont make me a Homunculi, its cuz I really don't like you)

Kain:  
1.lets go hehe sorry.

Riza:  
I like your hair! Can I have it?

Armstrong:  
What's with the pink sparkles? They give me nightmares! (I hate pink!)

Hughes:  
1.Can I see pics of Elysia?  
2.I love your knives! They rock!

BYE EVERYONE!

CrimsonTears2222 Envy: Did I EVER say that I was nice? You'd better stay away from me, or else…AND YOU DON'T SCARE ME!!! Ed: Well good. I didn't want to marry you anyway. Havoc: Why is it so fun to pick on me…? 

**Ed: Don't complain. They pick on me way more.**

**Havoc: Hey, I guess you're right. Thanks, shrimp.**

**Ed: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?**

**Dante: So I guess it's a good thing I didn't turn you into a Homunculus.**

**Riza: …You can copy the style, but you can't physically have my actual hair…I actually like it, if that's okay.**

**Armstrong: WHAT? HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THEM???**

**Hughes: Okay and thanks!! **(shows pictures off-scene)

Hello my loves!

To Envy, Ed and Roy: Did you guys know that there's an icon that says "Ed, Roy & Envy bring sexy back"? I thought it was hilarious!!

Envy: You do look somewhat girly O.o...so a SPA would be great for you!! XP And if not a SPA then just go to the beach...

Wrath: Since Envy doesn't want my chocolate (glares at Envy) do you want it? (hands over chocolate)

Ed: I have a pic of you...IN A DRESS!! And I'll show it to all your friends (and enemies) because I'm feeling rather evil today!! (shows pic to FMA crew)  
Muwahahahaha!

You loyal, not crazy fan,  
Sweetkittens

**Roy: I think I do without them.**

**Ed: Cocky bastard…**

**Envy: What the hell is wrong with you people? AND I'M NOT GOING TO A SPA OR THE BEACH!!!**

**Wrath: YEAAAAAAAH!!!!**

**Everyone: NO!!!**

**Ed: He's already sugar high! Don't give him any more!!! Oh, and I don't believe you about that picture. I've never worn a dress before in my life.**

**Winry: I'm pretty sure I tricked you into wearing one of mine when we were kids…**

**Ed: **(blushing) **THAT DOESN'T COUNT!!**

Envy- have you realized that since you've dedicated your life to killing Ed and Hohenheim (and Al too, I guess) without them, your life won't have any meaning? Once your goal is achieved, you'll have nothing to work toward. Isn't it better to keep Ed alive so you can beat him up again and again?

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite 

Envy: Um, no. I'm sure that after I kill them both, I'll find something to do that doesn't involve arts and crafts to occupy my time.

**BakaKonekoRKL: In regards to your other comment (kinda), my livejournal name is edokunslover so feel free to friend me and such **

Dearest Scar,

'Tis me again, and I'm glad you're not mad (That Rhymed!) about my story (Was afraid you were and might hunt my ass down...). I am curious, however, as to why you might find it odd that I might ruffle your hair (It looks ruffleable, and I am aware that is not a word). Now, I am ashamed to inform you that I recently have found a large spawn of pairings on your part (ROMANCE IS EVIL!), yaoi in particular. And guess who?  
YOU AND EDWARD! If that is not morally wrong on all accounts, I don't want to be right. Your opinion (Considering he IS a BOY, a STATE ALCHEMIST, AND... he's like frigging half your age, I checked, you're 30)?

Teh Okamiluva 

Scar: …Please, just don't touch my hair. Yes, yaoi is VERY evil. I won't tell you my age, but Ed is defiantly too young for me, and besides that, I'm not gay. I think that's fairly obvious.

Ed & Al: What would you be doing if your mom didn't die? Would you like it that way or this way? (I think the no Roy or constant danger of killing could work out pretty well!)

Winry: Hi! What would you do if Auto-Mail closed down because of some other sort of technology?

To all: Consider you have time to reply on have you seen the wide selection of pairings? I know it gets all of you mad and all but... some are just so AWESOME! Even if they are yaoi or stories that won't make sense in real life like DantexAl...

Sakura-Moonlight 

Ed: I expect we'd be living a fairly normal life.

**Al: Ed and Winry would've gotten together already, for one thing…**

**Ed: Alphonse!! I mean, there are a lot of jobs an Alchemist could have, so we'd probably be in good shape. I'd definitely like it that way better.**

**Al: Because you could be with Winry…**

**Ed: NO! Because Mom would still be alive and several people, like you, would be spared some pain!**

**Al: Yeah, but what about the Homunculi? Who'd take them down?**

**Ed: Dad, I guess. Who knows? They might have even gone unnoticed.**

**Winry: **(pales) **That could never happen, that could never happen, that could never happen…**

**Ed: Yes. We hate many of those pairings.**

**Al: **(scarred; can't speak)

Winry: Oh! Poor Al! 

**Ed: At least he's paired with a girl…Unlike SOME people…**

Dear peoples,  
I'm trying to get my guy friend to ballroom dance with me but he said no. Should I ask his mom (she would probably make him do it) or should I go to a different guy?  
Much Love,  
Snowysaku

Ed: If he doesn't want to don't force him into it. Guys don't like stuff like that.

**Winry: Yeah. Wait, is it an actual dance like at school, or do you just want him to ballroom dance with you? I don't think that I could accurately answer the question if I'm unsure…**

**Ed: Just get another guy to do it, whichever it is!!!**

Hi I'm back!

Wrath- -holds out lollipop- Here Wrath. -hugs-  
Black Hayate- -huggles-  
Fletcher- Do you feel lonely when Russel works on things that you can't?

Hoshi-Ryuu Wrath: YAYY!!!!! 

**Ed: HE DOESN'T NEED ANYMORE SUGAR!!!**

**Black Hayate: Arf! Arf!! .**

**Fletcher: No, not really. I know that he's older than me, so there are some things that he can do that I can't. I'm perfectly okay with it.**

Sorry, I have 6 more questions to answer, but I'm outta time. And I'd like to type up some of "Like You". I'm in serious need of a vacation…lol, I just got back from Spring Break ' I typed up all of this Wednesday but the stupid…THING didn't download right. GOMEN!!! Also, I'll try to sneak online before and during school hours whenever I can until Monday to get a head start on answering questions. Again, I'm really sorry that my updating schedule has been messed up for this, as well as for "Like You". I wanted to update last night and the night before, as well as the night before that, but my sister came online (we only have 1 computer in this house) to do something pointless, and later realized that she had homework to do…" So that took away a LOT of time. Sorry!!!!!!!!!!


	26. Chapter 26

**_I'm really sorry it took so long to update last time!! I'm not sure what was wrong…Um, well I'm trying to keep up with everything, and I wrote a lot of these in school and LATE last night until the ants in my room freaked me out and I vacuumed them up, leaving me with an awful headache. Um…You probably don't wanna know ' Anyway, I made a note to mention something about the 12th manga, but I'm not sure what it was, seeing as it was a few days ago. Maybe the fact that I'm only up to the 12th? I dunno…_**

Dear certain people I'm addressing this to,

Hohenheim: Between Dante and Trisha, who did you probably like best?

Envy: Did you ever think of going against Dante?

Russell: Does Fletcher know about "the talk"? Oh, and give him this stuffed dolphin for me. hands him a stuffed dolphin

Al: If you can't have a real cat, then here's a cute, stuffed one. You probably have a lot from others, but another one can be nice and your brother can hug this when he sleeps, if he wants. hands him a stuffed cat

SplitPersonalities

**Hohenheim: Like I told Ed, I don't think that I had ever _truly _loved before I met Trisha.**

**Envy: No, not really. Do you think I want to end up like Greed? Besides, she pretty much keeps me alive.**

**Ed: Awww, you wuv your mommy!**

**Envy: At least I didn't try to bring her back from the dead like _some _people!**

**Russell: Um, no. Our parents are dead and you really expect _me _to be able to tell him? He can talk to Alphonse to find out. I'll give him the dolphin for you.**

**Al: Yay! Thank you!**

**Ed: Why would I want to sleep with a stuffed cat?**

**Winry: Do you know how WRONG that sounded??**

**Ed: …It wasn't MEANT to!!!**

Roy: Ed is NOT too young for you! Do you know how cute, hot and SEXY of a couple the two of you would make?  
Ed: GURL! Shouldn't Al already know about 'that'?  
Al: Would you have sex with Roy?  
Envy: What do you think of Pride-Edo? Do you even have any idea how HOT Ed is as a homunculus?  
Hughes: I totally feel for ya, buddy. I have this cousin, he turns 2 in June and he is so cute!! His dancing is adorable and he is the smartest EVER! Sadly, I do not have the funding or time to take endless photos of him... some people have all the luck... -sigh-  
Anyway, that's pretty much it for now!

Full Metal Rocker 

**Roy: Yes he is. I don't want people to think I'm a gay pedophile.**

**Ed: Even though you are. I mean, come on, why _else _would you want me under your command and stuff?**

**Roy: You're lucky I don't burn you to a crisp.**

**Ed: Um, no, not really. We were too young when Mom died to have her explain it to us, and it's not something you'd find people like us discussing. Really, we talk about the Philosopher's Stone, Homunculi, and things like that, because that's what's dominant in our lives. Not sex.**

**Al: Brother says I'm not allowed to talk to you.**

**Envy: …I'm gonna pass on answering this one.**

**Hughes: Awww! I bet he's not as smart as Elysia, though. She's so amazing and cute! I can lend you one of my cameras, if you want **

Al- Hi, I think your awesome. Uhh ya that's it.

Winry- So what does it feel like to be left in the dust by your two best friends?

Ed- Do you like the band Sum41? I think you would and by the way they are the awesome 

Envy- You should watch Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged by little Kirboh. It's the shiznets.

Moofy-Fan 

**Al: Oh, hi! Thanks!**

**Winry: Well, it pretty much sucks. **(glares at Elrics) **Especially when they don't tell you anything. **(glares even harder at Ed)

**Ed: …**(unnerved by Winry's gaze) **U-um…who? S-sorry, I've never heard of them before…**

**Envy: Why _me_? What makes you think I'd _care_?**

Pst. Hey.

Scieszka: Okay, I'm actually using this column for what it was originally meant to be. Anyways, I need help. There are these two guys in my class who are total and complete jerks. They never admit to anything they do and they always mess around with me because I'm such an easy target. One of them rides my bus, and he treats me like his girlfriend or something, even though I'm NOT and I don't want to get involved in romance until University. Weird, I know, but that's just me. ; What can I do to keep them at bay?

Roy: Can you sing opera? Because if you can, I would like to hire you part time just 'cause you're sexy.

Ling: Will you give me a nice, long hug, please? I need it rather badly.

Envy: YOU KILLED HUGHES! UNLEASH THE RADIOACTIVE PENGUINS!!

Bibliophiel 

**Scieszka: I used to get picked on like that, too. I usually used to ignore them.**

**Winry: You should tell them off!! Stand up for yourself! Don't let them boss you around like that!!**

**Scieszka: Or, you could always talk to someone about it, like a teacher or friend. Try not to be alone when those kids are there, so you have someone to back you up.**

**Winry: You could also just laugh and play along. Like reverse psychology.**

**Roy: I've never sung ANYTHING before, and frankly, I don't plan on starting.**

**Ling: Of course!!! **(hugs) **You know, after Miss, Winry refused my proposal, I've sort of been looking for a girl to—**

**Winry: **(hits him with a wrench) **She said she doesn't wanna get involved with anyone yet!**

**Ling: Now, now, my fair Winry, don't be jealous…**

**Envy: I'm not afraid of some damn penguins!**

Ed  
-just admit you had a drink or two, it won't be so bad. besides, the drinking age in 1923 was probably younger than 21.

Clara  
-why do you like to decieve al?  
-al has a crush on you.

Roy  
-if Trisha was still alive, would you hit on her or try to steal her away from Hohenheim?

Hohenheim  
-would you allow Roy to steal your wife if he could?

Harryswoman 

**Ed: Ok, listen up. Noa brought the drink in. Maybe she thought I'd like it or something, but I never drank any of it. I'd rather _not _ruin my life, if it's okay with you.**

**Clara: I never said that I _liked _it. Oh he does now, does he?**

**Al: I-I do not!!**

**Roy: Hmmm, I dunno…**

**Ed: …You sick bastard…**

**Roy: I'm only kidding. Please, I don't try to "steal" married women!**

**Hohenheim: He said that he wouldn't but if he tried, I wouldn't let him.**

I have returned! crazed laughter

Wrath-  
The movie puts you in a very different light. You rock!

Archer-  
When I first saw you, I was really creeped out. But now I think you're cool.

Hughes (both of you)-  
If you two had met, what would you think of each other?

Tucker-  
You need to speak up a little bit. I can barely hear you.

Al-  
You rock, end of story.

UchihaNaruto59548 

**Wrath: Uh. Thanks.**

**Archer: Well good. I guess.**

**Amestris Hughes: I would wonder why he hasn't asked out that world's Gracia yet.**

**German Hughes: I would wonder what his deal is with his daughter.**

**Amestris Hughes: Why, what could you possibly mean!?**

**German Hughes: …You're a little…overboard with the pictures and stuff, you know?**

**Amestris Hughes: Oh, you'll understand when you have kids.**

**Tucker: **(still whispering) **You know, it's kind of hard to speak above a whisper when you're…bent over like I am.**

**Everyone: **(bends over like Tucker) **No, it's not. **(A/N This question was brought up at a manga con I went to. We all bent our heads over the back of our chairs and found that we could talk perfectly fine lol)

Al: Thank you 

Ed:  
1. First of all you are so not short! The next time Roy calls you short pull a Winry and take your wrench to his head.  
2. I totally understand about the cat. It would be really difficult to take care of on the road, maybe when you and Al finally settle down you can get him a cat.  
3. Just a hint: read the fanfic called "Ways To Annoy The FMA Crew" so you can really get up under peoples skin when they call you short (I suggest using a squirt bottle on Roy and spraying him with it every time he says something stupid!).

Al:  
1. First of all you are totally awesome!   
2. I LOVE cats too!! I had like ten or fifteen at one time, they are so much fun! Like you, every time I saw a cat on the street it came home with me. 

Winry:  
1. Props on the automail, it's totally awesome!  
2. Sometimes people deserve to be hit on the head when they break your amazing automail, but don't try to kill said person.  
3. If you had to choose a favorite tool (besides a wrench), what would it be?

Roy:  
1. HOW COULD YOU CALL ED SHORT?! THAT IS SO MEAN! IT ALSO SHOWS THAT YOU HAVE A PSYCHOLOGICAL PROBLEM (most likely self-esteem) THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO PICK ON OTHERS TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER! Okay, now that that's off my chest...  
2. Besides being totally mean and aloof sometimes, you're pretty awesome! It's nice of you to take care of Ed and Al, even if you pretend like you don't.  
3. How is it that you always seem to know what is going on and are able to bend it to your will??

Riza:  
1. I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of the obnoxious guys in the military, especially one that is obsessed with miniskirts. I feel for you, I have two brothers that are both younger than me.  
2. Where did you learn to shoot so well?

Envy:  
1. As much as I like you, sometimes I think that you need to seriously have a mood swing for the better.  
2. Are you always mean to everyone, or is there a person that you actually like?

Sloth and Lust:  
1. It's nice to see girls that are just as strong as the guys, more power to ya!  
2. Are you two friends, like at all?

Greed:  
1. You look so much better when you don't change your form and become the ultimate shield.  
2. How could you kidnap Al?! What did he ever do to you?!

Gluttony:  
1. Are you ever not hungry?

Wrath:  
1. I liked you better when you were nice, but you're still awesome now!

Pride:  
1. Good job keeping your identity secret until the end of the series!

Havoc, Breda, Falman, Fuery:  
1. You guys are some of my favorite characters! You always seem to lighten up the mood!  
2. To Havoc: Next time Mustang steals your girlfriend, kick him in the shin hard...and then run away as fast as you can.

Hohenheim:  
1. I understand your reason for wanting to leave so Ed and Al would never notice that you were decaying, but it hurt them more since you left. Shouldn't your fatherly instincts have kicked in and told you to stay?  
2. If you could go back in time, would you stay?

To All:  
1. I know this is totally random but, if you could take one thing to a desert island what would it be?  
2. What is your favorite weapon?  
EdElricFan1001

**Ed: …I don't…_have _a wrench…**

**Winry: And why not?**

**Ed: …Well, I'm not exactly an automail mechanic!!**

**Winry: Oh…Right…**

**Ed: That's _exactly_ my reasoning! Thanks for understanding, and in return, I'll check out that story.**

**Al: Thanks! Cats are so cute :3 I just love them so much!**

**Ed: Why don't you give the cats we find on the street to her, instead of trying to drag it along with us?**

**Al: Oh! Nice idea, Brother! If that's okay with her, that is.**

**Winry: Thanks! I don't try to kill people, just make sure that they're punished for breaking my masterpieces. Ed's pretty much the only one I do it to, anyway. Um, besides a wrench, I guess my favorite would be a screwdriver, because I use them a lot.**

**Roy: …Because he is, not because I have a "psychological problem that makes me pick on others to make myself feel better". Thanks for the second comment, and as for the third one, I kind of have a natural talent for things like that, and as for how I know what's going on, all that paperwork isn't always for nothing.**

**Riza: **(sigh) **Thank you. I practice a lot, and a lot of it I taught myself.**

**Envy: No, really, that's okay. I do like some people, but you probably won't find me showing it.**

**Sloth: Thanks.**

**Lust: Right. I wouldn't exactly call us "friends", but we're pretty much on the same side.**

**Greed: Well, sometimes I need to. Um, Alphonse never did anything to me, but I was hoping to find out some things from him. I mean, little kids don't ever do anything to get kidnapped, but you hear about abductions every day!**

**Gluttony: …Um…nope.**

**Wrath: I'm the one with the mood swings, not Envy!**

**Pride: Really, it was very easy.**

**Havoc, Breda, Falman & Fuery: Thanks!!!**

**Havoc: I'm not stupid enough to do _that_!**

**Hohenheim: Of course my fatherly instincts told me to stay, and I wanted to more than anything, but I knew that my family would get hurt if I did, whether by Dante and the Homunculi finding us or even just the truth about me. If I could go back in time, I'd stay longer, perhaps, if I could conceal my true nature for longer than I had.**

**Winry: My wrench, for both protection and I could probably use it (in one way or another) to get food!**

**Ed: I wouldn't need anything, I have Alchemy.**

**Al: Same here. Maybe some of that "Press-N-Seal" stuff so I wouldn't have to worry about the circle on my armor washing away.**

**Riza: One of my guns, of course.**

**Roy: Some matches, in case my gloves get wet and something attacks me. And my gloves are my favorite weapon.**

**Ed: I think we answered both of those questions in one…**

I've got a few questions for you guys and some things I'd like to point out.  
To All Fan girls: What is wrong with all you people?! Seriously why do you torture all of these guys with the short jokes, gay jokes, yaoi and yuri. Why do you call Envy a palm tree? He's is most certainly not a tree! Ed is most certainly not short and Roy is most certainly not old (but he's not hot either).  
You all have sick, sick minds and I hope Roy you all get rejected in future letters.  
On to questions.  
For Jean Havoc: You should know that you're my favorite. No one compares to you and your hotness. I most certainly hate Roy because he's mean to you and I hate to see you sad and now you legs don't work! I'm so sorry. When you think about it it's Roy's fault you went out with lust in the first place so it's Roy's fault you can't walk. Don't worry I'll stay by your side and do anything for you. I love guys who smoke.  
What is your favorite brand of cigarettes?  
Can I be your girlfriend? (I'm legal age)  
Would you like me to beat up Roy for you?

For Breda: I don't think anyone has asked you anything yet but you're my second favorite. You're so smart and that's cool. Just so you know I'm afraid of dogs too.  
How did you become afraid of dogs?  
What's your IQ?  
Can you teach me how to play Go?

For Barry the Chopper:  
Why are you so awesome? I wish I were stuck in an apartment with you instead of Falman.

For Ling (manga): Why do you want to become emperor anyway?  
Why is Foo is neglected?

For Mei (manga): What's with your weird panda pet thing?  
Are you related to Ling?

For LanFan: Do you love Ling?  
Are you like a ninja or something?

For Falman: What color are your eyes?

For Alphonse: Why don't you just hypnotize Ed into letting you get a cat?

There I'm done oh and Roy the only reason you still alive is because I allow it so go fcuk yourself.

Solar Knight 

**Ed: We didn't tell her to say that!!**

**Envy: Right!! Thanks, though.**

**Roy: What do you _mean _I'm not hot??**

**Havoc: Thanks so much! You shouldn't really blame the Colonel, though; it's really not his fault. I don't really _actually _smoke the cigarettes too often (usually they're just there in my mouth), and you wouldn't know the brand; it's only found in Central. Sure, I'll go out with you, as soon as Roy steals my current girlfriend (should be any day, now…). Really, you don't need to beat him up for me…**

**Breda: I think I got one question before. Oh, and thanks. I just kind of had a bad experience with some dogs when I was younger- I never got bitten or anything, but they scared me. I'd rather not give out my IQ to strangers, but I'd love to teach you to play "Go" sometime.**

**Barry The Chopper: Heh heh, thanks! Can I chop you up? d**

**Ling: …Why wouldn't I want to become Emperor? Also, I do not neglect my vassals.**

**Mei: Hmm… Both of them are surprises ;-D**

**LanFan: ………Yes, I'm "like a ninja or something". **(A/N FMA NINJA!!! Lol…inside joke… 3s to Keri and Lindsay 3)

**Falman: I don't have eyes. Just kidding. I don't exactly stare at my eyes in the mirror, but if I remember correctly, they're a few shades darker than my hair color.**

**Al: …'Cause I don't know how to hypnotize people? And even if I could, I wouldn't hypnotize my own brother (at least not for something like that (-; )**

Dear military personal, I know you think mustang is useless in the rain but he really is useless rain or no rain. All he can do is snap his fingers and make flames come out. I wonder can he really do any other Alchemy? And Mustang, I think you're a jerk, you always call Ed short or insult him about his height, and you always take Havoc's girls. Self-centerness is a bad thing and you really shouldn't let it take you over.

Love Is Hard 

**Roy: …You sound like you need some counseling or something. I mean, really. You can't take all of your, and everyone else's, problems out on me. First of all, Flames are pretty powerful (if you know how to use them correctly), and secondly, I _do _know some other Alchemy, but Flames are…dominant for me. Really. And I mean, in case you hadn't noticed, I care a lot for the people under my command. So I tease Ed, so I (sometimes) "steal" Havoc's girlfriends. It just proves that we can still be friends (well, sort of, in Ed's case, but that's him).**

**A/N I got your other review, it'll be first in the next one, I promise. I just don't wanna add it to this one ' Sorry!!!!!**

Ed: my sister recently drew a picture of you. IT LOOKED RIDICULOUS! At first I thought it was Izumi.

Everyone: what is your view on copyright infringement, such as watching TV online and such? Just wondering.

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite 

**Ed: …If she's older then she'd better watch out, but if she's younger, then DAMN LITTLE KIDS!!**

**Al: Umm…I guess if it's not right, then people shouldn't be doing it.**

**Winry: Yeah, we don't really know about stuff like that…we don't really have computers and TVs and such here…**

I'm back FMA peoples!

((insert cheesy horror music here))

Ed: I'm asking you this 'cause, well... I want to. What's the difference between all the transmutation circles? I mean, I know that there's general alchemic circles, like yours and Al's before you could do without, and specialty one's, like Mustang's, but what's the difference between the general alchemic one's? I ask 'cause yours and Al's are/were both different.  
Al: Hiya, Al! I'm sorry you can't have a cat, but what about a puppy? Surely Ed can't deny you a puppy, dogs are useful/awesome! I'm actually selling a couple of puppies right now, they're very sweet and hyper! And Ed, if you deny this I'll have to come after you in your sleep or sic my sister (one of your biggest fans) on you.

Winry: Y'know, if Ed ever won't answer one of your questions, you could duct tape him to the wall and use wrench torture on him. That could work.

Roy: Hiya, 'Great Flame Alchemist'! For now, I only have one question, why is there a lizard on your glove? Do you like lizards? Did you burn one as a kid? YOU'RE SECRETLY A PIRATE, AREN'T YOU?!

Riza: Hi, hi! When did you first get interested in guns? And y'know, you never actually told me when you and Roy first met (no, I don't give up easily), were you childhood friends or something? If so, how did he react to your getting interested in guns?

Wrath: HI WRATH! How's sugar high, treatin' ya? Here! ((hands Wrath chocolate covered espresso beans and some Frappuchinos and soda and Pixie StiX)) Go Nuts!

Dante: I would just like to remind you that tons of people hate you, you fail at life, you'll never turn me into a Homunculus (no matter how hard you try, I'll always beat you), and that you should fall into a wood chipper. Have a swell day!

Hughes: Hi, Hughes! ... That's really all I wanted to say. ((sweatdrop))

Envy: I know you can crochet, you can't fool me! CROCHET ME A BLANKET OR... Um... I'LL GLOMP YOU!

Advice time, for one of the weirdest things! Mkay, if any of you have ever heard 'The Legend of Zelda and the Ocarina of Time', I need some advice there. To be put bluntly, the zombies scare the living fire outta me, but I'm about to have to go through at least two super long places infested with zombies, how do you suggest I do that? No obvious answers please, I've tried all of those.

P.S. Kody-chan said she liked Ed's idea best on how to deal with me and David... it hasn't worked, yet. She IS super short, after all. ((grins and dodges Ed's punch))

Neassa-chan

**Ed: Different things in the circles mean different things. For example, one shape could mean flame, another could mean water, you know? The more complex ones are much more difficult to explain, though, so I don't really think I can help you much with those.**

**Al: Thank you, but I really want a cat, not a dog (although they are cute, too).**

**Winry: That's a great idea!!!! Thanks so much!!!**

**Ed: …What have you _done_?!**

**Roy: Um…actually, it has to do with making the circle work, like how Ed was saying before. You're kind of scary, you know that? (And for ME to say that is really something)**

**Riza: Not until my teenage years, shortly after the Colonel got interested in Alchemy. We knew each other when we were younger, like Ed and Winry, but not quite as close as them. Since I accepted his study of Alchemy, he accepted my interest in guns.**

**Wrath: YAAAYYYY!!!**

**Ed: Yeah…could you people please stop doing that?**

**Dante: Yeah, right.**

**Hughes: Hi! What, don't you want to see pictures of my beautiful daughter??**

**Envy: …No. Just…no.**

**Winry: I've never heard of that, so I don't really know what you're trying to do, but I think that you should just face your fears and beat those zombies!!**

**Ed: DAMN YOU.**

**Ok, that's all my brain can take today. Lol. Updation may be a little slow this week. Let's check out my schedule, shall we?**

_**Well, TaeKwonDo is my most major road block. See, I'm doing a special kind of training to become an Assistant Instructor, and my testing is Friday. I'm pretty good with the physical stuff (surprisingly), but I need to better memorize the mental knowledge stuff. That will have me working late into the night. Lol. I also have a research paper on Elizabeth Bishop for English, and the due dates are INSANE. Seriously. I've really gotta get working on that. Speaking of insane, I'm pretty sure that's what my dad is, so he keeps bugging me to get some stupid hockey names or something for him, which also takes up valuable time. Besides that, I've gotta make up a math quiz after school Wednesday, and school in general and regular TaeKwonDo classes in general take up a lot of time. And I think I'm getting a cold, but it could just be the freezing cold air in this house making my nose run. I have no idea. I think that's it, so I'll be updating Wednesday after my algebra quiz (wish me luck- I'm so bad at algebra!!), and I have a few left over from today that I'll start with. Oh, I have no one to drive me home on Wednesday…**_


	27. Chapter 27

**Wow. I had a great idea last night! Instead of pre-writing my answers on loose-leaf paper, I'm gonna write them in my journal for Creative Writing! So thanks to you, I not only save time, but I'll probably get a better grade (not that I'm already getting As or anything…)! Don't worry, I won't put your usernames or anything that seems a bit personal in (not that my teacher knows what fanfiction, never mind FMA or anime, is. She also just kind of skims it, so no worries ).**

Hi! I'm back, with better questions, for almost everyone!

Ed: People say you're short but you're probably taller then me, my question, how tall are you?

Al: You're really, really, responsible. You pick up after Ed and that must be hard. My question: why exactly do you like cats?

Mustang: Personally, I don't really like you that much. Women only like you because you're moody and distant and they want to change/get to know you better. Question: can you do any other Alchemy besides your flame attack?

Riza: You're the best person in the military. You keep Mustang in line. My question: do you really think Mustang is useless? I do.

Havoc: Don't ever change! Maybe just try to find a girl. My question: How many cigarettes do you smoke a day?

Falman, Breda, and Fuery: Of your little group of four involving you three and Havoc, would you say that Havoc's the leader?

Hughes: How's Elysia and Gracia?

Armstrong: Lose the diamonds and switch to stars, ones that are blue.

Kimbley: Change your first name.

Archer: Get a tan.

Pride: how do you see? I mean your eye is closed most of the time and you have an eye patch.

Hohenheim: I find you a really good father for some reason, but did you really love Dante at one point?

Lust: It seems like you love Scar; do you?

Gluttony: Do you love Lust?

Envy: How would you categorize yourself: Cross dresser, he-she, genderless, or gay?

Sloth: why do you treat Wrath like your son?

Wrath: Why do you act like Sloth's your mom?

Greed: you say you can do Alchemy, but I don't think I ever really did see you use Alchemy. So can you really?

And last Barry the Chopper: You try to act scary but it doesn't work. Have you tried wearing a dress? That would scare anyone.  
-Sighed Love is Hard

**Ed: …You don't need to know.**

**Al: He's probably around 4'6" without his "elevator shoes and hair-antenna", but that's just my guess. He's about 5'4" with them.**

**Ed: Al! Shut up, shut up, shut up!!**

**Al: Heehee! Sorry, brother! Uh, I like cats because they're just so cute and friendly and they purr and-**

**Ed: 'Kay…That's enough…**

**Roy: Women like me because I'm hot, not because I'm "distant and moody". Well…maybe, but mostly because of my hotness. Also, I can do some other Alchemy, but Flames are my favorite, and I'm also best with them.**

**Ed: You are so full of yourself…**

**Havoc: Yeah, I'm working on it. I usually don't actually smoke the cigarettes; they're usually just hanging in my mouth in case I really feel like smoking. Sometimes when I get stressed out or something I'll smoke, but that's not as often as you'd think.**

**Falman, Breda & Fuery: Uh, yeah, I guess…**

**Hughes: They're wonderful! Elysia is growing up so fast, and Gracia is as beautiful as ever! You wanna see some pictures?!?**

**Armstrong: WHAT? BUT THESE DIAMONDS HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!!**

**Kimbley: No. Don't make me blow you up.**

**Archer: Why would I want to sit in the Sun all day?**

**Pride: My "Ultimate Eye", the one under the eye patch, lets me see everything. With it, I don't even need the other eye, so it's okay for me to keep it closed.**

**Hohenheim: It was the kind of love one might find with two highschoolers; attracted to each other, so it's called love. But I realized I'd been fooling myself when I met Trisha; it was then that I knew what love **_**really**_** was.**

**Lust: The woman I was supposed to have been brought back as was in love with Scar's brother, and Scar himself loved her. It's no wonder why I seem to be "attracted" to him.**

**Gluttony: My Lust…My Lust!**

**Lust: **_**I'm **_**not even sure what his feelings towards me are; he treats me like all sorts of things; a mother, a lover, a companion, a follower…However, he's not the…**_**smartest **_**creature on Earth, so I'm not sure if we'll ever find out for certain.**

**Envy: None of the above. I'm not a crossdresser (it's NOT a miniskirt!! If it was, Mustang would be trying to get me into his miniskirt army!!), I know that I'm a man (though Homunculi technically have no gender, so that is to be debated), and I'm not in love with men (or women, for that matter). I guess the closest would be genderless, since Homunculi aren't supposed to have genders.**

**Sloth: Because the woman I was supposed to have been had sons, and they were the ones who created me.**

**Wrath: Because the boy I was supposed to have been had a mother, and she was the one who created me.**

**Greed: Would I lie to you? **(smirks)

**Barry The Chopper: I'm a man! (Well, technically I'm a soul in armor, but I WAS a man) And as such I will not wear a dress! Do you think I want people to talk to me like how you all talk to Envy? And what do you **_**mean, **_**I'm not scary!?**

**A/ N They mentioned the dress thing in the actor commentary with Vic and Aaron. It's on the DVD where they go to Lab 5, probably around 6? The entire thing is hilarious, but your question just reminded me of it xD**

Your greatest fear has returned!

Ed: I'd like to first say, that you're advice seems to finally be working. Got a lot more friends, anyway who exactly made you that overcoat of yours? And why red? Not that it doesn't rock...

Mustang: Thanks to your advice...I'm actually going to a dance with a lot of lovely ladies! My only problem is, I might say or do something stupid. Any tips?

Envy: If you weren't always a murderous fiend (which totally suits you by the way, and confuses me why people hook you up with Ed), what would you be doing with your life.

Other Homunculi: Same question up above...

Ling: What do you do to make yourself look older? Or is it just genetic?

Peace out y'all and thanks for the help!

Vyser Dragoon!

**Ed: I'm not really sure (by the way, you're far from being our greatest fear). Before we burned our house down, when we were looking for things that we should take with us, I found it somewhere and decided I liked it, so I took it.**

**Roy: Good! I'd say to get on a topic you're comfortable talking about, but something they might find interesting as well. If you say something dumb, say something else to get their (and your) minds off of it. I'm not sure I can help you with **_**doing**_** stupid things, but don't do things that would make them uncomfortable. If they don't want to dance, don't make them, and that sort of thing. Also make sure you compliment them on how they look, even if they **_**don't **_**look good, and offer to get them drinks and such.**

**Envy: Crocheting. Not really. How should I know?**

**Wrath: With my luck, I'd probably be on Yock Island.**

**Gluttony: Eating…**

**Lust: Looking after Gluttony…I'm sure we'd have fun on our own.**

**Pride: Running this country. Right into the ground.**

**Ling: Genetic!**

**Ed: I think it's a Prince thing or something…don't even bother trying…**

Hey! I'm new to this so I'm not sure what to do...  
(pokes random button) oO is that a dress, Roy?

Newayz, I'm a heavy supporter of EdxWin xD  
I cant stand yaoi or Winry with anyone else

Winry: If Edward's mom didn't die and he stayed at home,  
how long do you think it would take for you two to get married? XD  
I'm not sure about this, but I think back in that day, there isn't  
a certain age limit is there?

Edward: What would you do if Winry disappeared one day? Lets say it has nothing to do with the homunculi or anything, she just disappeared.

Al: Who do YOU want to marry? xD

Roy: Hmm... (Plays random disco music) DANCE, MONKEY!

Riza: It would suck if you ran out of ammo in the middle of something important, right? Do you have any backup plan?  
How about seducing Roy to do his paperwork? XD

Armstrong: Are you related to that one guy who went to the moon?  
Is it some tradition passed down from generation to generation  
of Armstrongs? (gasp) Are those pink twinkles moon dust?!! OO

Hughes: Even though you scare me a bit with your obsession, you still shouldn't have died! They should've made Random Military Guy #2 die instead. (  
Blaze

**Winry: Married? I appreciate your thoughts, though I'm not too sure Ed is the marrying type…**

**Ed: Actually, there **_**is**_** a "legal age". You wouldn't want someone who's 30 marrying someone who's 13, would you? That's why when younger girls ask out Havoc, he can't go out with them.**

**Havoc: Why must you torture me so?...**

**Ed: Sorry. If Winry disappeared, needless to say, I'd be very worried and I'd try to find her at all costs.**

**Winry: Oh, Ed! That's so sweet!**

**Ed: **(blushing)

**Al: Um…I dunno :3 Ruby (from the third novel) seems like a nice girl, though…Though I can't really get married until I get my body back…**

**Roy: …Are you feeling okay?**

**Riza: I always have plenty of ammunition and guns. I've never run out before (not that I can remember, anyway), so I should be fine in the future. And I'm not the kind of person to seduce.**

**Roy: You do realize that it would work, though.**

**Riza: Please. I'm not stupid.**

**Armstrong. No, I'm not, actually. You were wrong in all of your guesses. BUT THE SPARKLES ARE AMAZING, AREN'T THEY!?**

**Hughes: I totally agree! I mean, Military Guy #2 didn't even have a girlfriend to go home to, never mind a family!**

**Havoc: You'd better not be talking about me…**

I'm back again... and I'm still crazy and evil!! 

Sloth: Yes... yes I do... but... just to warn you... she's worse than Envy and Wrath combined... terrible 2s!! 

Ed: I'm picking on you because I'm putting on a show for people who like seeing you in pain... and... I'm having fun... -kicks him repetitively-

Lust: ... I'm wondering what would happen if I said I did have a problem with it... LOL

Scar: -sticks tongue out at him- Good!! Annoying people is fun!! Especially when the person getting annoyed is you, Mr. Grumpy... -pokes him a few times-

Winry: She said hi and she gives you an air hug... since she cannot hug you in person... right now.

Wrath: You want more candy? -holds out a HUGE sack filled with candy, laughs evilly-

Shoushin 

**Sloth: Are you saying I haven't raised Wrath right? Well, never mind, I can take her on.**

**Ed: THAT'S IT! **(transmutes a wall between them) **So there!**

**Al: **(sigh) **Brother…**

**Lust: You're really annoying me now. So stop it before you do or say something you regret.**

**Scar: **(grabs tongue and finger and blows them up).

**Winry: What do you mean by "right now"?**

**Wrath: OMGNOWAYLIKESUGARHIGHLIKEWOAAAAH!!!!!!**

**Ed: The next person to give him sugar will wake up very confused in Barry The Chopper's Shop.**

**Barry The Chopper: xD**

Hi!  
Everyone: Stop picking on Ed!!

Ed: Aw poor Ed. You're so unloved -hugs Ed- I know! One of my friends sent me a picture of Mustang in a miniskirt. Let's copy them and post them all over Central then point and laugh when he has a nervous breakdown!  
And I don't know why people call you short. You're taller than my English teacher. And he can beat the whole school at basketball too. Even the people that are so tall they have to duck to walk though the door.  
Kat

**Winry: I don't pick on Ed!**

**Ed: You hit me with your wrench.**

**Winry: …That's not really "picking on"; it's for your own good!!**

**Al: I don't pick on you, Brother!**

**Ed: You tell everyone my height!**

**Al: …Okay…so maybe I do…sometimes…**

**Roy: I don't pick on you, FullMetal!**

**Ed: Shut it! You're the worst! I'm fairly certain that Riza's the only one who hasn't picked on me yet! By the way, I'm all for posting miniskirt Mustang pictures all over Central.**

**Roy: I'm not going to break down. I've lived through Ishbal; you think a thing like **_**that**_** would bother me?**

**Ed: I'm pretty sure it would. I mean, you did almost kill yourself in Ishbal.**

**Roy: …**_**Almost.**_

_**Those are all the questions for now! In biology we had a sub, and he was really nice, so of course, as the girl sitting by herself, he came over and he kinda asked what I was doing. "Is it for school?" I asked, and I said, "No, it's for fun." He thought it was a play By the way, I was right about getting sick last time; yesterday, I had an AWFUL headache all day long, and when I came home I passed out on the bed for an hour.**_

_**Today's column is brought to you by: Brothers (sung by Vic Mignogna), and the smell of rice balls, both regular and fried xD**_

_**Waiting for questions to pop into mailbox…**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**This is a bit short, due to the fact that I have TKD testing and such in a little bit, and I'm not very good at counting in Korean….Right. Also I've gotta get stuff done on my research paper that we have less than enough time to do, so there will probably be no updates next week. SORRY!!!! Maybe towards the end of the week, but I really have no idea. Also, I'd like to apologize, because I haven't been getting the reviews e-mailed to me (I guess the site's whacked up again?), so if these aren't in order, it's not my fault. And in case you're wondering, I do edit what goes into my journal lol.**_

Hiya, guys! I'm in a sorta bad mood today, so I may take it out on you, kk?

Ed: I know that, but in the beginning (anime) you had a transmutation for general stuff (as general as alchemy can be) and so did Al, but your circles were different, I was asking why that was. Aw... does the widdle shorty have a temper? (baby voice) ((dodges Ed's punches Matrix style))

Al: Okay, I see what you mean. Cats are cool. Kody-chan acts like a cat and I get along with her just fine, even though I like dogs.

Winry: Isn't it? You're welcome! I think I took about 5 years offa Ed's life with that suggestion though...

Roy: HOW CAN A LIZARD MAKE A FLAME CIRCLE WORK?!?!? I still think you burned one as a kid... Thank you! I AM kinda scary, aren't I? It's not intentional, I assure you, Mr. Pirate. (Hey, you never denied it...)

Riza: Cool! Was your first gun a handgun? Is that why you prefer them?

Wrath: Glad you like it! If you want some more, lemme know! Oh, try this too! ((hands Wrath chocolate pocky))

Dante: I still hate you.

Hughes: Sure! I'd love to see pictures of your beautiful daughter! Can I see some from her first birthday?!

Envy: ((glomps you from behind)) You asked for it! You seriously need to crochet me a blanket. I can just see you sitting in a rocking chair, crocheting a baby blue blanket... Oh maybe with reading glasses and an old fashioned dress and... and... you're going to kill me now aren't you?

Zombie thing: Well, that's obvious. I tried to do that and I couldn't even summon up the courage to go through the tunnel. Yeah, I'm a coward. Which is really ironic considering how I'm always pushing my luck with Ed, Envy, and Dante...

Neassa-chan

**Ed: Umm…I guess because we both have different styles of drawing them, if that's what you're talking about. If you noticed, the stuff we did often turned out quite different. Though I don't really know why I'm answering your question, since you insulted me…**

**Al: Brother, ease up. She's not as bad as some of the others…**

**Ed: Yeah, I guess you're right.**

**Winry: Please. If that took 5 years off of his life, with all the other stuff he's been doing, he'd be dead by now. Let's just face it; he's gonna outlive us all!**

Ed: I doubt that… 

**Roy: I don't really know; I didn't make it up! I guess it could be because lizards like hot climates or it could represent a dragon, which breathes fire. All I know is that I never burned one as a kid, alright? And I'm not a pirate, damn it!**

**Ed: He's a pyro.**

**Roy: Would you stop with that? Listen, I don't go sailing around on ships stealing stuff, okay?**

**Riza: I honestly don't remember, sorry. Handguns are also easier to carry around than other guns, suck as rifles.**

**Wrath: Pocky is so good!! (Unfortunately, it doesn't give much of a sugar high).**

**Ed: Okay then…if it doesn't make him hyper, I won't hurt you.**

**Dante: Likewise. Though I could still control you if only I could… **(starts mumbling to self)

**Hughes: What, don't you wanna see pictures from before then as well? Oh, but I have work…I know! I'll e-mail them to you! With commentary!**

**Envy: Yes. I am. **(transforms into…just use your imagination)

**Dante: Great idea! Kill her, then I'll bring her back to life as a Homunculus!**

**Envy: Leave her dead!!!!**

Ok, I'm back, with a genuine question this time. I've read up to manga number 8, and I am confused as to why President Fuhrer King Bradley introduced himself to Greed as Wrath, 'cause I kinda thought he was pride... do you guys know?

Also, Why does the watch Ed has change from gold to silver to gold? (Again in the manga) It's gold when he first gets it, but when Paninya (The girl with both legs automail made for her by Dominick) steals it, it's silver. But, in either 6, 7, or 8, it's gold again... is it just a translation error? Or does it actually change elements?

See? I'm capable of asking not emotionally scaring questions!  
Bye!

Alykat2007

**Ed: What!? The Fuhrer's a Homunculus!? Al, let's get to Central!!**

**Al: I'm right behind you, brother! **(runs to the train station after Ed)

**Roy: …I guess I'll have to explain. The manga sort of splits off from the anime in the 8****th**** manga. If you read the manga after it, you'll see many differences, in terms of Homunculi and their true forms, and how they die, and you'll meet some manga-only characters and notice that others from the anime are missing. In the manga, there's a different Pride, and the Homunculus that was Pride in the anime is Wrath in the manga. To the last manga that's come out in America, however, they're virtually the same (and it hasn't yet been revealed who exactly Pride is). Also, the watch never changes; it must be an error.**

_I'm back again with some more questions and such. As I said before don't be hurting poor Ed/Envy everybody feelings cause everybody need a little love. And besides palm trees don't have eyes and everybody except Ed just happen to be mutant giants.  
For LanFan: You never really answered my other question about whether you like Ling or not. It's pretty easy to just say it so just say it._

For the cow: Has Sig ever tried to chop you up?

For Clause: What the heck ever happened to you? This one time I heard you ran to become a circus freak aka an Alchemist.

For Yoki: Were you cross breed with a rat at some point in time?

For Izumi: Have you ever thought of eating a whole bunch of Kleenex to stop the bleeding?

For Mr.Garfiel: Do you really think you look sexy? To tell the truth the clothes you wear and kinda gay-fitting.

For Al: Grab a watch an swing in back an' froth in front of Ed's face. Tell him he's getting sleepy and when he falls asleep tell him to let you get a cat. Then wake him up. That's how you hypnotize someone.

For Ed/Al/Roy: Do you guys know what a tampon is?

Bye-bye.

_Solar Knight_

**Envy: Right…Except I'm not a palm tree!!!**

**Ed: That's exactly right!! Wait, are you being scarcastic…?**

**LanFan: …Even if I did, we wouldn't be able to be together because of our social differences.**

**Winry: So…you like him?**

**LanFan: I neither confirm nor deny.**

**The Cow: No, because I'm small (as far as cows go).**

**Clause: Um…Nope. I'm just living with my dad.**

**Ed: Who are you calling a circus freak!?!?**

**Hughes: Sorry…that may have been my doing '**

**Yoki: Um…N-no…**

**Izumi: I really doubt that they could help. It's because some of my internal organs are missing, so some tissues would not help.**

**Mr. Garfiel: What, you don't think they're sexy? ;D 3**

**Al: Um, okay! **(gets Ed's State Alchemist watch and follows instructions) **You're getting sleepy…sleepy…**

**Ed: You can't…hypnotize…me! **(falls asleep)

**Al: Ok, now, let's get a cat! …Um, wake up now. Brother? Brother, wake up!**

_**20 minutes later, Ed finally wakes up.**_

**Ed: That was a nice nap!**

**Al: So you don't feel any different? Like suddenly in the mood to get a cat?**

**Ed: Keep dreaming. I told you, I can't be hypnotized; I was just tired.**

**Al: You know I can't sleep in this body! And what do you mean; I did everything exactly as I was told!**

**Roy: Duh! It's…You just tricked me, didn't you?**

**Ed: …Maybe…**

**Al: Huh? Brother, what's that?**

**Ed: I REALLY hope no one expects me to explain that to him…**

_Hello everyone!! I just want to take this chance to apologize for how weird I've been acting!_

Ed:  
1.Personally, I prefer you when your younger (like not 18) because when your 18 your like all calm and stuff, you barely ever blow your top. And that's no fun...  
2.My friend is making a fanfiction with a HerxEd pairing. So she is happy!  
3.Can we be friends?

Al:  
1.I don't know why people are mad that you stole Ed's look in the movie, like if I just lost my sister and she had like a look she wore all the time, I would probably wear it too cuz it's like the only thing of his that you have. Ok never mind, I'd probably be happy if she crossed to another world, but you know what I mean.  
2.Can we be friends?

Wrath:  
1.I watched Conqueror of Shambala again and this time when you sacrificed yourself for Al, I cried.  
2.Here gives him 12 energy drinks, 50 sour keys, 32 chocolate bars and 30 cola's I hope you enjoy!  
3.Can we be friends?

Envy:  
1.I don't know why people tease your outfit, I like it! And I know that you can't crochet.  
2.Can we be friends?

Ok time for the part where I actually ask advice.

To anyone: Ok well there's this annoying guy in my class and he gets in trouble EVERDAY! And like s soon as he gets in trouble he looks at his friends and does that 'I'm the coolest because I got in trouble' look and it makes me wanna walk over and beat him up. So I need to know, should I try to ignore it, or should I beat the (insert any curse word you like here) outta him?

Sincerely,  
CrimsonTears2

**Ed: Well, I'm sorry for being more mature! Aren't girls supposed to like that? Also, I don't love Heiderich like that. Sorry to disappoint your friend. Um, sure, we can be friends.**

**Al: I'm okay with it, really ) Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel. Of course we can be friends!**

**Wrath: **(several minutes after getting all the sugar and caffeine and whatnot into his system, after his sugar high has worn off) **Ughh…my head hurts…I wanna go to sleep…**

**Ed: Finally…**

**Envy: Just for that comment, I'll be your "friend".**

**Winry: Boys are like that a lot. Usually it's worst around ages 12-15, and depending on the boy, he may continue to be like that for quite a while longer. You're going to have to restrain yourself; he's only one of many that you'll have to deal with. However, if there are others in your class who feel the same way, it's a good idea to get it across to him as to how immature he's acting. Just in case he's trying to "impress" someone in your class, because if that person lets him know that he or she doesn't think that it's cool, it'll discourage him (IF he's trying to "impress" someone).**

_Dante: Um...do you have some weird dress-up fetish, or is Lyra's pink maid dress that she was wearing when you killed her and Rose's ball gown totally unrelated? What period are the ball gowns anyway? They almost look Rococo but they aren't quite...crazy...enough. Can this one borrow some of your dresses? She promises to take good care of them. Please?!_

--The Siacatmesecat

**Dante: Do you have a problem? They were going to be my future bodies; of **_**course **_**I wanted them to look good! They're all dresses that I've had since my original body; the time period in which I met Hohenheim of Light and we created the Philosopher's Stone. I suppose you could borrow one. Just remember that whoever wears one will become my body at some point…**

_Her Weirdness is back and ready for more!_

To Barry The Chopper:  
You're really cool! I'd let you chop me up, but I'm already dead (Ask Scar).

To Ling (Manga):  
I was all obsessed with Ed, but now I'm starting to see you in a different way. You're cute. Wanna go out?

To Hohenheim:  
Do you realize that some people on the net have started calling you Hoho-Papa? That's so weird.

To Shou Tucker:  
You are a stupid evil bastard. How could you do something so horrible to your own daughter and dog? You could've just grabbed someone off the streets like a hobo or a prostitute, but NO, you had to use your own daughter! Burn in hell!

To all the guys:  
1. So obviously, you're not gay like the fans say. But what do you think of homosexuality in general?  
2. Winry's got a bigger dick than all of you.

_HisokaYukiko_

**Barry the Chopper: It would be a very interesting experience to chop up a ghost!! I'd love to try it!!**

**Ling: Of course :D Speaking of which, I'm kind of looking for someone to marry me once I become Emperor…**

**Winry: Would you quit it??**

**Hohenheim: …I am aware of this.**

**Tucker: It was for science; I was qualified. Anyway, it was much faster to use them than taking the time to kidnap people.**

**Ed: BASTARD! …As for your question, as long as they don't try to do anything to me, I'm okay with it.**

**Roy: Their opinions are obviously because of my amazingly good looks…**

**Ed: Obviously not.**

**Winry: Who exactly was that meant to insult??? HUH??**

_**Sorry, that's all I have time for! I'll continue writing answers, even if I won't have the time to post them for about a week. So keep writing in, and I'm already currently working on the ones you've already written; they'll be some of the first come next post lotsa love! 3**_


	29. Chapter 29

Sorry it's taken SO long to update! I think my essay turned out okay-ish, though. I also passed the TaeKwonDo test! Unfortunately, I have several due dates for things coming up, but I'll try to keep this going as constant as I can. Also, your reviews aren't being e-mailed to me, for some reason, so that's REALLY annoying…is this happening to anyone else? It makes this a bit harder for me (

To everyone who uses Alchemy: what if there was no Alchemy? (of course, Ed already experienced that)

Sakura-Moonlight

Izumi: It has the potential of being something good. In my opinion, people rely on Alchemy too much, and use it when their own strengths without Alchemy would be sufficient enough to solve whatever problem they're trying to solve.

Winry: I'd like to think that there would be less wars and fighting, but I'm sure that someone would invent a weapon that could do a hundred more times damage than Kimbley's Alchemically equipped hands.

Al: I there was never any Alchemy, Brother and I wouldn't even exist, because dad probably wouldn't have been able to make the Philosopher's Stone.

Ed: Now there's a thought…

Roy: One word: matches.

Roy: Stop denying it. I'm getting tired of your persistence. Just go for counseling, there's NOTHING wrong with being gay. It may not be the best thing, but it is not your fault if your sexuality is different from other guys'. I recommend my daddy, 'cause he's a great counselor and since I recommended you, you could get it free. By the way, my friend showed me these cool sex/pick up lines. Like, "You have pretty eyeballs, but you know what would be better? If you eye my pretty balls." or "Did you grow up on a farm? 'Cause you sure are good at raising cocks." I have more if you want to know.  
Ed: No excuses. You should have educated your brother. And you are neither underage nor short just so you know... wait, you haven't denied liking Roy in a while. Does that mean you changed your mind?  
Al: Sex is when two people who love each other participate in physical contact, which leads to a greater bond between them. Therefore, if you love your brother, you'll have sex with him and if he rejects you, then he doesn't care for you. Ask him.  
Envy: WRONG! You have to answer the question. So, what do you think of Pride-Ed?  
Hughes: Haha, yeah right! Jonathan is so much smarter than Elysia and cuter too. But they're both better than Wrath. Wrath is a sucker.  
Hohenheim: YOU SUCK, ARSEHEAD! What you did was unforgivable.  
I can't think of anything else right now, so BYEE!

Full Metal Rocker

Roy: Listen. I'm really not gay, I swear.

Ed: If you were gay, that'd be okay…

Roy: Shut up. But really, if I was, I wouldn't deny it. But if I ever do go gay, you'll be the first to know, I promise. About the pickup lines…I like to go on dates, not get slapped in the face.

Ed: No, really, I think I had a very good reason. And while I thank you (I think) for the second part of your "letter", I DO NOT LOVE MEN/ROY!

Roy: If you were queer, I'd still be here…

Ed: We really need to stop listening to that CD.

Roy: Yeah…

Al: Really? Brother, how come you never told me this?

Ed: BECAUSE IT'S NOT TRUE!

Winry: Actually, it kind of is.

Al: Does that mean you don't love me, Brother?

Ed: There are many different kinds of love in the world, Al. And the way we love each other would make it VERY inappropriate for us to have sex together.

Al: Um…But then why did she say-

Ed: Because fangirls love to torture us.

Al: Ah. Right.

Envy: Actually, I don't have to answer. SO LEAVE ME ALONE.

Hughes: What? How could you say that someone's cuter and smarter than my Elysia??? She's just soooooo adorable and smart and-

Ed: Yes, yes, we get it!

Hughes: …Now, Ed, don't be jealous! I'll show you pictures, too!

Ed: What have I done…?

Hohenheim: You have to understand, I left my family for their own safety. While they may have been hurt, it's better than having them dead.

HAHA! I'm back! -random freaky music- And I now wish to talk to the most underrated, underpaid, coolest characters in the military.

Fuery: Did you know that you rock? Also, congrats for taking Black Hayate off the street in the cold. That was really nice

Breda: Have you ever heard of Naruto? IF so, do you think you could beat Shikamaru at Go? If not, ignore this question. Also, you rock at practical jokes.

Falman: ... You know, for someone so uptight, you're pretty cool.

Havoc: Seriously, Mustang needs to stop stealing your girlfriends. You're way cooler than him, and anyway, you're so loyal to him it's not fair.

Black Hayate: You're so cute. Here, have a dog treat. It's bacon flavored. -hands dog treat- Please ask Riza-san to tell me what breed you are.

That's all for now... But I will be back!  
aliveinchrist13

Fuery: Thanks so much ) I just felt so bad for the poor thing, even though I couldn't keep him.

Breda: I don't know who this "Shikamaru" guy is, but I'm sure I could beat him! Heh, and thanks.

Falman: That was a compliment, right? Thanks.

Havoc: You're telling me!!

Black Hayate: Arf, arf! 3

Riza: I'm not sure of his breed, since he was found on the street, but it looks to me like he's a mix of something.

Hey!!

Ed & Al:  
1. Of course I'll take all the cats you find! I only have one right now; I found all the others good homes. You can play with my cat any time you want to Al (her name is Chloe).

Roy:  
1. I was just joking! I don't really think that you have a psychological problem.

Winry:  
1. What's your favorite part about making automail?

Armstrong:  
1. YOU TOTALLY ROCK!

Izumi:  
1. You are such a nice person! It was great of you to take care of Ed and Al!

Hughes:  
1. Elysia is so cute!! Can I see some pictures??

One last question:  
I have a really close guy friend at school who I have known for the past two years. I'm not sure if he likes me or not, but he always seems more relaxed when I'm around. He was also very upset when I told him I wanted to transfer to a higher-level school when I became a junior. So many people have told us that we would make the perfect couple, but he always blushes and says that he knows but wants to keep our friendship. How can I tell if he really likes me or not??

Thanks!  
EdElricFan1001

Ed: Well, that solves that problem.

Al: Great! I love this solution!

Roy: That's a relief.

Winry: Hmm…I like everything about it! I don't like the part where the automail is attached to the person, though, because that really hurts, but I love everything about making it!

Armstrong: THANK YOU!

Izumi: Thanks. Even though they could be pretty stupid sometimes… (glare)

Ed & Al: Uhh…

Izumi: But I still love them

Hughes: Of course you can!! Do you want me to e-mail them to you, too? I've even typed up commentary under each picture!

Winry: I wouldn't really worry about it until you like him, too, but since I'm assuming you do, here's my advice to you. If he's acting the way you said, then he probably does like you (this is especially supported by his reaction to what those other people say). He may not have made a move (IF he does like you) for a couple of reasons. He could think that you don't like him back, for one thing, and doesn't want to ruin the friendship that you already have. Or it could be that, since you're going to transfer, he doesn't want to get involved in anything since it'll only turn into something long-distance, and we all know how those kinds of relationships end up.

Ed: Was that a reference to me?

Winry: Maybe. Now be quiet. As I was saying, when you transfer, you won't be able to see each other anymore. But you should still find out if he likes you, but ONLY if you like him. If you don't like him, just let it be, but if you do and he seems to like you but is having trouble admitting it, you can use that to get him to say it (IF he does). I wouldn't push him too far, though; if it seems like he REALLY doesn't like you like that, don't tell him that you like him, because that may make your current relationship a bit awkward. Then again, it may not, so the choice is really up to you there.

I'm back and I have questions, and one is for Fletcher- I'm currently obsessed with you, even more then Al and Wrath; you're so cute in the manga (just read novel version of it). Now for the question, RUSSELL HIT YOU BEFORE! HOW DARE HE! Don't try to deny it; it said so in the book! WHY DID HE HIT YOU!?!?!?!?!

Russell- HOW DARE YOU HIT FLETCHER! Just when I was starting to think you were cool, too. Although you were pretty cool in the novel.

Wrath- well I just like submitting 3 or more questions so hi. (hands you a camera) Now go get some blackmail

Moofy-Fan

Fletcher: Um, well, thank you. Um, listen, I really love my brother, so don't get mad at him. He was just…frustrated, that's all; he doesn't beat me or anything, so don't worry.

Russell: You're kind of contradicting yourself.

Wrath: (evil smile) Heh, heh, heh…

takes Winry-esque pose but with writing implements between my fingers instead of tools  
I was thinking…

Edward,  
You are by far my favorite character. Now that is out of my system XD...  
How do you feel about all the random pairings people think up for you? Personally I wonder how people get the ideas sometimes...  
Alphonse,  
Has Ed ever done anything to make you really mad at him?

-WHO'S GETTING TIRED OF THE CAT QUESTION?  
-Armstrong, where do you get your sparkles?  
-Hi Scar! wave wave I think you're pretty cool, even though you do try to kill Ed ¬¬ many times...  
Yes Havoc, you're awesome. I felt so bad for you in book 10!  
Last question: Edward, how the heck did you get out of the water after you captured Psiren?

Tchuss!  
SilverEcho

Ed: Thanks a lot :) I really hate some of the pairings that people think up for me (you know who you are), but some of them I'm okay with. And then there are some that make me want to shoot myself in the face. Yeah, you're not the only one…

Al: When we were little that would sometimes happen. And we've had one or two really bad arguments that got me mad at him. Afterwards, I'd always go to a river and sit there until he came and found me, so I've never stayed angry for long

Ed: ME!

Armstrong: THEY…I don't really know…

Scar: Thanks…

Havoc: ( Thank you.

Ed: Um…I'm pretty sure that I swam…

Hey I'm back and I just want to say some of you guys were really mean, I'm just speaking the truth, well my truth. And I'm dead serious Armstrong, change to stars. Or at least make the diamonds blue. Also, Roy, you're self-centered; you say you're hot but saying it yourself doesn't mean a thing, other people need to talk for you. Envy, I guess you're right but, I'm still gonna call you gay, no offenses or anything. Ed, you're better then Roy, way, way better. Everyone else thanks for your reply but Barry, you would be scarier.

Love Is Hard

Ed: If you mean that Kimbley, Archer, and those guys were mean, well, that's just their nature.

Armstrong: Why would I when I'm perfectly happy with how they are now?

Roy: …Other people have called me hot.

Envy: I'd really prefer that you didn't.

Ed: Thank you (sticks tongue out at Roy)

Barry: No way!!

Grr.. -somehow tongue and finger grow back- HA HA!

Sloth: I didn't say that... -shifty eyes- Anyway... just don't drown her...

Ed: A wall? That's the best you can do? Well you could kill me... like Lust and Scar are probably going to do... but... -takes out stick of dynamite, lights it, puts it next to the wall, it explodes, and the wall falls on Ed- Oops... sorry Ed!

Lust & Scar: -laughs- First I annoy Scar... then I annoy you, Lust! Wow... aren't you two a match! You both get annoyed by me! Wait... -stops laughing- You both are going to kill me now, aren't you? Umm... I'll just be going now... -slowly starts to walk away-

Winry: Well she's too busy drooling over guys... yep... she's boy crazy...

Wrath: -pats him on the head- I'm glad you like the sugar! -winds up a toy mouse, places it on the floor- get the mouse Wrath!

Barry the Chopper: Umm... Barry... you have worn a dress before though... remember... disguised as innocent meat delivery lady?

Shoushin

Sloth: Riiight…

Ed: DAMNIT! I don't want to kill you! So just leave me alone already!

Lust: That doesn't mean that we're a match; it probably just means that you're an annoying person.

Scar: If you tongue and finger grow back…then that means you have the Philosopher's Stone?

Ed: GET HER!!!

Winry: Ah, okay, I see. I understand

Wrath: Ooooooooh……….

Barry The Chopper: But…I was disguised as a woman…so that doesn't really count :P

Yo DUDES I'm back with more questions. I'll start with Ed. You're right; just because I can pick on you doesn't mean I should, but I like to; I can't help it! Now Armstrong. Dude say hi to your sister for me man and is Havoc ok or did the training kill him?  
Now for Trisha. It takes a lot to get me sad and your death made me sad cause how you held your kids hands as you died here have a rose. (hands Trisha a rose) Now for Havoc. Dude are you still alive? When I said that I was only joking I didn't think he would do it. Now for the Flame Alchemist Roy. How many time has Riza put you in line for flirting? (Hands a rose to both Winry and Riza) Well with that I'm done for now. Later DUDES.

Devine Spark Alchemist

Ed: …

Armstrong: OF COURSE!! Havoc's okay, but my training seems to be a bit much for him…I wonder if I should tone it down a little…

Trisha: I think that's how a lot of people feel. Thank you so much.

Havoc: Yes…barely…That training is intense!

Roy: Oh, not too much…okay, a lot.

Winry: Thanks! That's so sweet of you!

Riza: Thank you very much.

Ed  
-what is your favorite animal: cat, dog, or fox?  
-in the manga, you wear more clothes than in the anime series. Why is that?

Al (with his body)  
-do you think you'll ever get used to Germany?  
-would you let Ed have a drink or two?

Winry  
-how would you act if Ed moved on in Germany with Noa or your double there?

Scar  
-do you Ishbalans believe in reincarnation?

Hohenheim  
-if you had stayed and could have saved Trisha with a Philosopher's Stone if you had one, would you save her?

Dante  
-why go after Hohenheim or his sons if you knew that they wouldn't help you? Why not go after someone else?

Roy  
-if you had to choose between Alchemy and Riza, what would be your choice?

Riza  
-did you ever have to shoot Roy?

one more...

Envy  
-are you overprotective of Dante since she was once your mother, or would you let anyone get close to her if they wish?

Harryswoman

Ed: A fox bit me as a kid. Definitely not a fox. I like cats and dogs, though…but I think I like dogs better. The manga takes place over a longer series of time, and sometimes I needed to change clothes because it was required to do so, or something.

Al: Maybe. Ed can make decisions for himself. If he wants to drink-

Ed: -Which I don't-

Al: -I won't stop him.

Winry: I wouldn't know, but if I somehow did I'd be upset knowing that another girl has taken my place.

Scar: No.

Hohenheim: That's a very difficult question. No, I don't think that I would, because she'd just end up like me. Anyway, I doubt that she would have gotten that sick if I had stayed.

Dante: Because I'm very stubborn. If I want something, I make sure that I get it.

Roy: People can get along without Alchemy, but Riza is a person who is very close to me. I'd choose Riza.

Riza: No, never. Though I've wanted to at times…

Envy: I don't really care. She can do whatever she wants.

Dear Scar,

... DAMNIT! I can't contain myself any longer! Quickly prays for my pitiful soul to be accepted in heaven RAAH! (Tackles Scar) RUFFLERUFFLERUFFLE I've finally got it out of my system! Now I'm going to die! (Holds still awaiting my impending doom) (Sorry Scar).

Sincerely,  
Teh Okamiluva

Scar: …(glares)

Ed: …You know, worse things have happened…

Scar: (without removing eyes from Teh Okamiluva, reaches out and blows Ed's automail arm off)

Ed: HEY!!

Winry: Ed! What have you done to your automail!?

Ed: It wasn't me!!

Scar: (continues to glare, then turns and walk away)

Winry: …Did anyone else see that coming?

Sorry, but that's all I can do for now! It would kinda help me out, just a little, if you guys signed your penname or whatever at the end of your letters. It'll just make things a little bit faster. If you can. Um, I have an awful retreat that I don't even want to go to from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon, so I'll try to write more there. I wish I could get out of it so I could type it up but…ARGH! I just wish that Scar would blow me up or something so I wouldn't have to go!!!! Anyway, updating should be back to semi-normal next week.

This column is brought to you by: Avenue Q, "If You Were Gay", and the freezing cold that has taken over my house (and my extreme hunger).


	30. Chapter 30

I'm lucky I can update today; it was a halfday! I wrote these in school today. My friends keep teasing me about this, but I tell them that the advice I give actually works. They don't believe me. –Sigh-….Well, there are cops and ambulances driving by my house, so in case they're after me, I should probably get started, huh?

Hmm... Roy didn't dance...  
Riza: Make him dance, please?  
Make sure it's a monkey dance.

Winry: Oh don't worry, Winry. If it's for you, I think he'll be willing to marry. (wink)

Edward: Well, I meant you and Winry could marry when you two decide to, instead of waiting for a certain age. Wait a minute, younger girls ask out Havoc? Are you sure he doesn't ask out the younger girls? I mean, I would understand if younger girls ask YOU, but not Havoc.

Al: oO In my mind, you have your body back! That is also the case in my fanfics. I just need a girl so I can pair you up with someone so you don't get lonely when Ed and Winry... you know. xD

Riza: Yeah, I pretty much guessed you aren't the seducing type. Anyway, what IF you ran out of ammo? I mean, you can't always be sure, right? It's always best to have a backup plan. Unlike Roy... I mean, what does HE do when it's raining? He relies on YOU. 

Armstrong: Aww, I'm wrong. If the sparkles aren't moon dust, are they fairy dust? Or just flakes that fall off your head? oO

Havoc: Hmm... If I knew more about your character, I would make a story where you finally keep a girl. The girl would be like Riza and not fall for Roy's womanizing. It won't be Riza of course. 

DANCE MONKEY  
Blaze

Riza: I'm sorry, but I don't think so. I could never imagine him doing something like that. I guess that my "backup plan" would be him, but I always carry a lot of extra ammo, just in case, so that doesn't ever happen.

**Winry: Oh, I don't know about **_**that**_**…**

**Ed: Girls who are generally underage often ask out Havoc on this advice column. Not like eight-year-old girls, but teenagers. Don't worry, he's not a pedophile, and I get all kinds of girls asking me out, anyway.**

**Al: N-No, I won't get lonely…**

**Armstrong: …Neither. They're just there.**

**Havoc: You don't need to know my character! Just write me a girl that's cute, smart, funny girl with a good personality that isn't likely to cheat on me!**

**Breda: Good luck on that one…**

Hallo, FMA peoples! Since Envy killed me I'm sure you're all wondering, 'WTH, if she's dead, then how is she sending us a letter?' I dunno, you figure it out.

Ed: I guess that could be true, but I still don't understand. And actually, the whole shorty thing isn't really an insult, think of it more as... a term of endearment. I'm friends with a lot of short people, and I always call them short and they get mock-mad at me, but really, it's just the way I am, not an insult. At least I'm not and EdxEnvy shipper... And hey, now we have something in common! Envy killed both of us!

Al: You is awesome! Okay, now that that's over with, what's your opinion on dissection? Random, I know, but I had to dissect a shark for the second time today and I have to dissect a rabbit later in the year. ((sob,sob)) Wait, since Envy killed me I don't hafta go to school... But if Dante brings me back as a homunculus and my mom finds out...

Dante: You'd better not bring me back as a homunculus! I don't wanna dissect a rabbit! Poor Momiji! And besides, I wouldn't obey you anyways, not unless you had pocky/anime/video games/Fresca/riceballs...

Mr. Pirate (A.K.A.: Roy): Is that so? Well... I guess I can't argue with that. And besides, not all pirates are criminals who go around looting ships. Ever heard of (CAPTAIN) Jack Sparrow?

Winry: Yeah, scary as it is to say, he probably will outlive us all. Notice how he dances in the jaws of death and barely escapes so often? Wait... he hasn't told you about all those times, has he?

Riza: I just misspelled your name four times, but that's beside the point. How do you usually react to Roy's playboy-flirtiness? Do you just ignore it, same as the miniskirt remarks?

Hughes: Sure I do, I just wanted to see pictures of her first birthday because that was a huge stepping stone in her road of life! I'll be waiting for that email! Yay, commentary!

Wrath: Pocky IS good! I get hyper just holding the empty boxes! ((stares forlornly at them))

Envy: Why do you hate me?!?! ((tear)) Oh well, if you honestly think killing me is going to keep me from annoying the fire out of you and demanding my blanket, you've got another thing coming! And if/when Dante turns me into a homunculus (I don't really think my telling her not to is going to dissuade her much... BUT I'LL NEVER GIVE UP!) I'll prance around you singing the 'Happy, Happy! Joy, Joy!' song for all eternity and demand a blanket every hour on the hour for all eternity! And if she doesn't bring me back (God willing... I like it up here! There's gold and pearly gates!) I'll find a way to haunt your sorry arse for all eternity! Wow, I've spent a long time talking to you. You should feel proud of yourself; that is if that Pinto bean you call a brain isn't dribbling out your ears. Oh! Almost forgot! Crochet me a blanket, KNAVE!

Neassa-chan

**Ed: HOW IS CALLING SOMEONE SHORT A TERM OF ENDEARMENT!?!**

**Al: Calm down, Brother…I'm sure she didn't mean…**

**Ed: She sure as hell did!**

**Al: Okay well anyway. Thank you! Um, personally, I don't like dissecting…it's really sad and cruel. You don't have to dissect kittens, do you!? If you don't like, I'm sure you could talk to your teacher and maybe he/she could give you an alternative assessment or something.**

**Dante: Ugh, you're so annoying, I don't want to anymore! So go, do whatever the hell you want.**

**Roy: I'm not a pirate and I've never heard of this Birdman. But I'm NOT a pirate.**

**Winry: No, he hasn't. Please enlighten me.**

**Ed: Heh…No, really, that's okay.**

**Winry: No, I think I'd like to learn how you keep managing to **_**break **__**my AUTOMAIL…**_

Riza: Yes, ignoring it is usually best.

**Hughes: I just sent it to you! It's a pretty big file, though, so it may take a little while to download. Enjoy **

**Wrath: 3**

**Envy: Why WOULDN'T I hate you? I'm NOT MAKING YOU A FREAKIN BLANKET! You'd better stay up/down there. Oh, and LEAVE ME ALONE!**

It's Her Weirdness again!

To Barry the Chopper:  
1. It would be kinda hard to chop up a ghost, but you can try.  
2. While you're at it, could you chop up my Geography teacher? She's evil.

To Ed:  
1. I'm going out with a Xingian guy! IN YOUR FACE! If you keep rejecting girls like that, they'll all convert to Ling (Or Roy) fans!  
2. It's a shame all that hottness was wasted on you. Now go make out with Roy.

To Winry:  
Sorry. That was meant to insult the guys and compliment you. What I meant by that is that you're a lot tougher than most guys and I like that. It's really cool.

To Envy:  
The other person was talking about imagining you on a rocking chair in a dress crocheting a blanket. That gives me an idea! Can I call you Granny?

To Roy Mustang:  
1. Can I call you Pony-boy?  
2. If not, call I call you Roy Ford?  
3. If not, can I call you Roy Fluffy-pink-unicorn?  
4. Yes, I'm just making fun of you.

To Wrath:  
I've got ten pounds of sugar packed into one of those gigantic chocolate bars. You want it? (Hands one over)

To Gluttony:  
I've got one for you too! (Hands the second one over)

To everyone else:  
Run for your lives. We're about to have TWO sugar high Homunculi.

_HisokaYukiko_

Barry The Chopper: That's what makes it all the more fun! Heh heh heh…Of course I'll chop her up!!

**Ed: Fine with me. And I'm not gay so just give up.**

**Winry: Oh, okay then. Thank you **

**Envy: ****NO.**

Roy: No, no, no and yeah, I know.

**Wrath: **(running around) **WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!**

**Gluttony: More?**

**Ed: GODDAMNIT WOULD YOU GUYS STOP FEEDING THEM THIS SUGARY CRAP ALREADY!!!**

_Hi again  
Envy- would you consider yourself to be a ninja?  
Al - what's your favorite type of kitten?_

TigerlilyandHummningbird 

**Envy: …No…What the hell did **_**that**_** come from?**

**Al: Um…I like all kinds of kittens But I guess that if I had to choose, I'd have to say tabby.**

Hi, again! YAY you are all my friends! I was sad when I got home but after reading that I am happy.

Ed: I didn't mean it like that, girls do like it when guys are mature, I'm just saying that your funnier when your all sarcastic and stuff. Oh and I didn't say EdxHei, I said that she paired herself up with you, silly!

Wrath: Poor Wrath, you seem sick. Come here. sits and puts Wrath on her lap and rubs his head

Envy: I drew you yesterday! I have to say that its one of my best, it took me almost an hour to do and my friends almost gave it to the teacher to display:)

Thanks for the advice!

Sincerely,  
CrimsonTears2

Ed: Um, I guess so. I guess it's better if it's a girl being paired up with me (sorry for the mistake) but…what exactly is she going to do to me?

**Wrath: OoSoOoUoOoGoOoAoOoRoO…**

**Envy: Okay…That's great…As long as it wasn't of me as a girl or something…**

Ok, question for Russell- Sorry for hating on you so much, your cool now (has had many mood swings since last chapter) and I don't want you to die, or anything ether. As for the question, since you most likely never saw Ed again after the series, do you think he's dead?

Envy- Their is this guy at school, he's pretty crazy but in a good way, and he's making us call him Envy cause, we all have names like that, mine is Weevil, but well, he's destroying your name and your reputation, just thought I'd let ya know.

Everyone- According to my friend (the one who calls Al the Iron giant) Ed is 'the alien' Roy is 'the lunatic' Winry is 'the drug dealer' Scar is 'left overs' Envy 'thinks he's magic' Fletcher 'needs to assert himself' Wrath is 'a male stripper' (cries) and Breda 'worked at McDonalds', so my question is what are your reactions to those names, by the way, she has more, one for almost everyone, but that's all I can remember for now.

Moofyfan

**Russell: Well, that's good, because I wasn't exactly planning to die. I don't really know what ever happened to Ed, but I don't think that he's dead. It is kinda weird that he disappeared, though.**

**Envy: Kill him. If not, I'll be there by noon tomorrow.**

**Ed: What!?**

**Al: Actually, I can see that one…**

**Ed: Stay out of this, Al!**

**Roy: What the ****hell****? I'm pretty calm most of the time…**

**Winry: I don't even want to know…**

**Scar: …**

**Envy: No I don't!**

**Fletcher: You think so?**

**Wrath: No way!!!**

**Breda: No, I never did…Ever.**

Hi... for once I'm not hyper... I'm very tired...

Sloth: Damn... you lucked out Sloth... my sister got sick... so she's going to the doctor instead...

Ed: Fine... I'll be nice for once... and leave you alone... -sulks in a corner-

Lust: I'm actually not an annoying person... I'm only annoying when I'm hyper... which isn't often... except when I drink coffee...

-sips coffee, is a little bit hyper, but not much-

Winry: Oh... wait she might be here in...3...2...1 -suddenly Winry gets hugged by my friend, Lana-

Wrath: -puts a few more toy mice on the floor- Have fun, Wrathy-kun!

Barry the Chopper: It does count, Bunnykins! You were still in a dress!

Scar: No... I don't have it... -shifty eyes, suddenly runs away-

Shoushin

**Sloth: Hooray.**

**Ed: Thanks )**

**Lust: You must drink coffee a lot then.**

**Winry: Hi! **(hugs Lana back)

**Wrath: This is fun!**

**Barry The Chopper: I don't think so. AND DON'T CALL ME THAT OR I'LL CHOP YOU UP!!! Actually, I'll just chop you up anyway xD**

**Scar: …**

Roy: Kiss Ed NOW or I'll castrate you.  
Ed: Heatedly and passionately kiss Roy back.  
Al: Your brother is LYING. Kill Winry for me, she's a bitch.  
Hughes: Jonathan is cute and smart and HOTT, EVERYTHING Elysia's not. He rawks to no end, he surely is an angel godsend. Yay!! It rhymes!  
Envy: You just don't wanna admit that Pride-Edo is sexy and HOTT and you so want him.  
Hohenheim: Who was talking about THAT? You shoulda ditched that freak Dante. I'm angry at you 'cause you're a WUSS! You ditched Trisha but you didn't ditch Dante? What kind of whack-job are you?  
I got two problems. Anyone answer them, kay?  
Problem 1: There's this boy at my church, he calls me all kinds of bad words and makes fun of me and he made me cry, like, at least twice but I really like him. I hate him and I like him, what should I do?  
Problem 2: So far I have had coffee twice and both times I got really hyper and I went nuts. Now my friends have outlawed me from coffee but I wanna get hyper, I wanna drink MORE coffee. What should I do?  
I know this was short and you're probably disappointed but I'll make the next one longer, I promise and I'm being nicer-ish now... I think.

Full Metal Rocker

**Roy: I'd like to see you try! No.**

**Ed: In your dreams!**

**Al: **(scared) **What? No…No! Winry's nice!**

**Hughes: How can a kid at that age be hot? Are you a pedophile or something? Elysia, stay away!!!**

**Envy: No he's not!**

**Hohenheim: Oh, that. Well, I did "ditch" Dante; I left her, in case you haven't noticed. And it wasn't like I left Trisha because I ****wanted**** to.**

**Ed: So you pretty much like "bad boys", right? Because, in the eyes of others, he's "cool"? That's just what it seems like to me. If he's treating you like he is, chances are he doesn't like you, so tell him to stop, ignore him, and move on.**

**Al: There are some other things that can get you hyper.**

**Ed: Like energy drinks.**

**Al: All kinds of candy, and soda…**

**Ed: And energy drinks.**

**Al: Try those, but just don't annoy your friends.**

**So I'm a little behind now. Whoops 0) The alert system is finally working, so I'll be getting e-mails again! Yay! Well, anyway, that's it for today; maybe I'll have another on Monday, but I'm not sure because I have to go to prison from tonight till Sunday afternoon. Just kidding, it's a CCD retreat, but it's really the same thing.**

**This column is brought to you by: Avenue Q, InuYasha theme songs, Red Bull energy drink, and me actually looking kind of cute for once in my life.**


	31. Chapter 31

Updation is gonna be a bit slow for a while. I have 3 papers to write this month. Makes ya feel kinda…SCHADENFREUDE, huh? Before we begin, I have some personal news. First off, I got the OFFICAL Avenue Q CD. It's REALLY great, so everyone should go out and buy it. It will make you feel SO many emotions! Secondly, I got a REALLY hott Alphonse shirt. I feel happy ) Finally, I got a poem published in a book! There were thousands of entries, and not many were chosen, so I'm very happy! ) I might post it some time……Until then, here's some answers to your questions. Note: If the answers have to do with Avenue Q, it's not my fault. Lol.

But first to all the characters...so, I'm far from being the thing you fear the most? Now you've made me want to pursue that...eh, who am I kidding, I'll probably just annoy the heck of you all...

Except Mustang!

Why? Cause his advice worked! I got to dance with several different girls, stole someone's date (though provided I almost got a black eye from the boyfriend...totally worth it!), and became popular through some karaoke!

But enough of that...

Ed: I kind of have to agree with Winry on automail, with the exception of your weakness to swim, why would you want to go back to flesh and blood?

Envy: ...Dude, after reading some other Manga, you'll be happy to know that there are a few other characters who dress weirder than you.

Mustang: YOU ARE AMAZING! I'd give all the money I have...if I had any...

Greed: I haven't checked recently but what do you (and the other homunculi) think about the pairings on you guys?

Havoc: ...My older cousin still thinks you're hot...

See ya on the flipside!

Vyser D!

**Roy: Yes, yes, I know I'm amazing.**

**Ed: No. You're not.**

**Roy: I wonder if we should start charging for this…**

**Ed: No! That's just wrong!**

**Roy: Calm down. I was kidding.**

**Ed: Yeah, well. Well, I just want my limbs back. They grow with you, and you don't need maintenance for them, and they're easier to take care of. I mean, I think it's only natural for me to want my original limbs back.**

**Envy: I hope everyone read that. So everyone had better stop bugging me!**

**Greed: I think I speak for everyone when I say, as long as they're appropriate, they're not too bad. But it's a little weird, since we're not human and aren't supposed to feel emotions and such. But whatever floats your boat, I guess.**

**Havoc: Have I asked you to give her my number yet?**

It's Her Weirdness once again!

To Ed:  
(Evil grin) I drew a picture of you and Roy having sex... WITH BONDAGE! And I'm such a good artist, it looks completely real! I'm gonna post it all over the net and everyone will know that you two are together! (Insert evil laugh)

To Wrath and Gluttony:  
I've got loads of chocolate! (Wheels in a giant cart) Eat up and get sugar high!

To everyone else:  
They'll never calm down ever again!

HisokaYukiko 

**Ed & Roy: I'm going to kill you.**

**Ed: Not very modest, are you?**

**Roy: We're NOT together.**

Okay, not even I can describe the scene that you've just caused. Just imagine Wrath and Gluttony on a rampage, a VERY pissed off Ed, and waffles. Pretty scary.

More questions and comment for everyone-I'm gonna tell you more of my friends names for you guys Hughes is 'The Mother ship', Mrs. Hughes is 'the father ship, 'Izumi is 'always hitting people' Tucker is 'the hillbilly' Gluttony is 'a TelaTubby' Trisha is 'the hair dresser (she did Envy's hair)' Barry the chopper is 'the Iron giant's sidekick' Al is 'the Iron giant (cries I HATE THAT MOVIE) and Armstrong is 'the spaceship'  
Fletcher- You do not I disagree with most of her names and (shivers) comments (you really don't wanna know)  
Ed- Hi, watch this (pushes Roy to the ground and repeatedly kicks him) HAHA TAKE THAT YA PIRATE!  
Izumi- Did Trisha do your hair?

Moofy-Fan 

**Hughes: How did you get that?**

**Gracia: Um…**

**Izumi: I'm going to be hitting your friend in another minute…**

**Tucker: **(whispering) **What?**

**Gluttony: …?**

**Trisha: Um…I am?**

**Barry The Chopper: No way!! I'm gonna chop up you and your little friend! HAHAHA!**

**Al: So I've heard…**

**Armstrong: I don't understand…**

**Fletcher: No, I don't think I want to.**

**Ed: Awesome ******

**Roy: ARGH! I'M NOT A PIRATE! OW!**

**Izumi: No, we never met. I did it myself.**

Hallo FMA peoples! I'm back! Why? Because it's a Friday and I don't have to go to school for two days, no being alive is no problemo!

Ed: I just told you that's the way I think, I never asked you to understand, shortie. That would be cruel and unusual.

Al: No, we don't, thank God, but I was almost positive my teacher was going to make us. Maybe if I throw up all over her desk when we have to dissect the rabbits, she'll let me not do it...

Dante: YAY! I'm ANNOYING! Am I still annoying? How about now? HOW ABOUT WHEN I'M ON SUGARHIGH?!

Wrath: ((hands him SourStraws and Mountain Dew)) Let's be sugarhigh and annoy Dante together!

Roy: I don't believe you, watch Pirates of the Caribbean. Or have someone tell you the story, just don't pull that 'We-don't-have-TV's' line.

Winry: Oh, he still hasn't told you, eh? Well since I like to see the little shorty squirm, but don't want to give him a full-blown heart attack, I'll just tell you two times he broke your automail: (1) He was fighting a serial killer. (2) He was fighting TWO serial killers. But Then again that last time was when you forgot to put a screw in his shoulder, so yeah. But he was still fighting serial killers. Sorry shortie, but this is too much fun.

Riza: Since Roy didn't answer this question, hypothetically, how would you want him to propose? Roy, listen well and take notes.

Hughes: YAY! I can't wait! ((stares anxiously at AOL mailbox))

Envy: ((glomps you from behind)) HI ENVY! I'm back! Didn't ya miss me?! And I could think of several reasons why you wouldn't hate me! Um... I think you're good at crocheting? Which reminds me: CROCHET ME A BLANKET, KNAVE! I also think you're distantly related to Albel the Wicked, just on a random note.

Neassa-chan

(P.S. Albel is from Star Ocean: Till the End of Time, go to Photobucket for a picture.)  
(P.P.S. Yes, he is a guy.)  
(P.P.P.S. No, he's not gay.)  
(P.P.P.P.S. I'm gonna go before Envy kills me... again.)

Ed: I'M GONNA- 

**Al: **(holding Ed back) **No, Brother, stop!**

**Winry: I'll get him to quiet down **(pulls out wrench)

**Ed: Um…ok, I'll be good.**

**Al: That might work, but if you really feel uncomfortable about it, then talk to her about it.**

**Dante: YES SO SHUT UP!**

**Wrath: WHEEEEEE!!!**

**Roy: But…we don't. And I'm too busy to, anyway.**

**Winry: Oh he did now?**

**Ed: Uhh…Now, Winry…**

**Winry: You're such a jerk! **(hits him with her wrench)

Ed: Ack! No! Win! Stop! 

**Riza: …Didn't you already ask us this?**

**Envy: No, I hate you. I'm not related to that guy because I'M A FREAKING HOMUNCULUS, so I don't have relatives. STOP ASKING ME TO CROCHET THINGS!**

Hola my friends! I'm in a very good mood today! That doesn't happen lots anymore:(...

Ed:  
1.Oh she isn't going to do anything to you, I've read most of it and it's the other way around. :P 

Envy:  
1.Of coarse it isn't of you as a girl or anything, your perfect the way you are!  
2.Omg! I was watching this AMV (pretty sure it was from Brotherhood) but man you did some AWSOME flips! I was like, WOH how does he do that. You rock!

Roy:  
1.My friend said you're a gay pedophile so I killed her:)  
2. I'm making a fanfic with a MexRoy pairing! And so is my friend! (She's making it her paired with Ed and me paired with you! (she's also making a her and Ed with a me and Envy))

Sincerely,  
Crimsontears2

Ed: Why make me look like the bad guy? What have I ever done? It is something bad, right? 

**Envy: Thank you, thank you. At least SOMEONE appreciates me.**

**Roy: Umm…I really don't know what to say on the first one. Actually, I don't really know what to say on any of it. Sorry.**

I'm back and hyper again! And... me ish going to leave Sloth and Ed alone now...

Lust: Yes I do... blame my family for giving it to me almost everyday!

Winry: -Lana hugs one more time before she sees a hot guy and runs off to chase him down- ... and she's off!

Wrath: Yay!! Wrath... do you want some dynamite to blow Envy up or do you want more candy? -holds out dynamite and candy-

Barry: But Bunnykins... you can slice me up all you want... I'll just come back... -holds up a... Philosopher Stone-

Everyone who wants it: Ha! I lied I do have it... oh wait... crap!! -runs off-

Shoushin 

**Lust: Right. Blame **_**them**_

**Winry: Bye! ' **

**Wrath: Uhm…CANDY!!!**

**Barry The Chopper: You're mad!**

**Ed: CHASE!!!**

**Al: Brother! Wait up!**

**Dante: Damn!**

Roy: No prob. -grabs a pair of scissors- and while I'm at it, I'll shave your head too.  
Ed: Why don't you make my dreams come true then?  
Al: Winry is NOT nice.  
Hughes: You're right, a two year old can NOT be HOTT. Sorry, got a little carried away and I"M NOT A PEDO, Roy is.  
Envy: Denial is such a sad, sad thing.  
Hohenheim: Excuses, excuses. Like I'm going to believe you.  
Ed (again, haha): I don't like "bad boys", he was nice then he became friends with this other asshole and they teamed up to make fun of me. I already tried ignoring him but it doesn't work.  
Al(also again, haha): I'm afraid I've already tried. I drink, like, lots of soda and stuff myself with candy yet the only thing that makes me hyper is COFFEE! AND I'M BEING DEPRIVED!!

Full Metal Rocker 

**Roy: Stay the hell away from me, psycho.**

**Ed: …There's a fine, fine line between "making your dreams come true" and "I'm going to kill you".**

**Winry: That would be a good line to put in that song. It even rhymes!**

**Ed: Yeah, by the way, Winry is to nice! I'd rather kiss her than Roy!**

**Winry: …**

**Ed: …Because she's a girl! And not a guy! And…damn.**

**Al: Um, yeah. What Brother said. Kind of.**

**Hughes: **(gasps) **Roy!**

**Roy: I'm not!**

**Envy: Fcuk you.**

**Hohenheim: I'm sorry, then.**

**Ed: Try to make peace, then. He probably wouldn't be acting like he is if it wasn't for the other kid. So just try to be his friend or something. Sorry, I'm not much good at this, and you don't like Winry, so she can't help you.**

**Al: Try those rock candy things in that high-C stuff. I've heard that works really well.**

It's gonna take me FOREVER to get this totally up to date, especially with the other fics I'm working on, plus the projects/ essays I've gotta do. I may have to cut this down to one column per week. But you can always read my other stories, I have a few humorous ones up now. If you run out of them, listen to Avenue Q. I promise you, you will NOT regret it! Lol. I'm sorry, I'm almost as obsessed with Avenue Q as I am with FMA…almost. Lol. Till next time, guys.


	32. Chapter 32

First off, sorry I didn't get a chance to post on Wednesday, but I was a little busy. Secondly, to N.C. Stormeye, I PROMISE that I'll answer your question as soon as I read your story, which should be sometime next week. Please don't hurt me! Finally, I just want to let you all know, for whoever is interested (it's a REALLY big deal to me) that I got a poem published in a book!! It's in a book that's called "A Celebration of Young Poets", but this year's edition won't be out for another month at least, but when it comes out, check out the poem "Sacrifice", cuz that one's mine!! Anyway, here's your "advice":

Hi, I have a really weird problem I'd like the FMA characters to answer but I have a few things to say to them first.  
Ed: You're really hott and a lot of people say you're short, but didn't you grow in the movie? I dunno why you left Winry anyways I mean you obviously love her.  
Al: Ed is really hott, but your character is beautiful. There're some people who want you to be with Winry, but I think that Rose would have been a good suitor for you.  
Winry: You act so tough but on the inside we all know that you're broken because the one you love left you for the last time. I bet that hurts a lot.  
Roy: You act like a real jerk sometimes but the military can do that to people so it doesn't bother me. You do a lot of good things and I hope that you're Furher someday.  
Riza: I'm glad that you're not a damsel in distress. In other words you save Roy more then he saves you. XD sorry Roy.  
Envy: I just wanted to say that you're mean and it's you that caused everyone's problems, sorry but you should get some anger management or something. It's not you're fault though, you seem to have a lot of people screw you over.  
Time for my problem:  
There's this boy at my high school who's really nice and really cute. At first I was sure that he liked my friend 'cause a lot of people do, but at the dance he asked me to dance. I kinda ran away afterwards 'cause it was my first dance and I was embarrassed. He sat down a lot after that and looked kinda sad. So asked him to dance a second time and after that I asked him why he asked me to dance and he said "Because you're beautiful on the inside and as you are on the outside" and then ran away 'cause some people scared him off. Then he asked me to dance a third time and my friends told me that the whole night he had been looking at me and I thought there was something that'll come out of it but at school the next day none of us said anything about it. I really want to date him, but I'm afraid that he doesn't like me that much. Please help.

_cherryblossomedheart_

**Ed: Yea, actually, I grew a bit from the time the series ended to the movie. Um, and I left because it's what had to be done in order to get Al his body back and later to save Amestris.**

**Al: Thank you ) Unfortunately, I don't really "like" anyone right now. Sorry!**

**Winry: Well, yeah, I guess that's true. I wouldn't exactly call myself "broken", though; I am strong, nonetheless.**

**Roy: Thank you (I think). I completely agree with the final statement!**

**Riza: Thanks.**

**Envy: I didn't cause **_**everyone's**_** problems! And I do NOT need anger management!!!**

**Winry: If he asked you to dance and said those things to you, then he probably **_**does**_** like you. Maybe he's too shy or embarrassed to say anything to you, or maybe he thinks that you don't like him back. Or maybe it's something that one of the other boys said to him. But don't be afraid to make the first move (though I guess it would technically be the second move), because the worst he could do is say no. If you're too shy to ask him out, at least talk to him so maybe he'll get the courage to ask you out; maybe the reason he didn't say anything to you is because he was afraid that you didn't like him or something.**

Scar  
-it was sad that you died. Even though you tried to kill Ed once or twice, you're still one of my favorite characters.

Ed  
-do you think that you'd have any kids with Winry? If so, how many?  
-Have you ever gone to a Geisha show?

Al  
-who would you like to go out with more: Rose, Noah, Nelly, or Clara (if she was your age)?

Envy  
-don't be so angry and pissed at Ed. It's not his fault Hohenheim is his father and looks almost exactly like him.  
-You already killed Hohenheim, so chill out.

Roy  
-how do you think you and Riza's children will turn out?

_Harryswoman_

**Scar: Well, thanks.**

**Ed: Um………That's really up to her, I guess. No, I haven't.**

**Al: Uhmmmm…I don't know!!! **

**Envy: I can be as pissed as I want towards him! And it's BECAUSE he's that bastard's son that I hate him, not just because he looks like him!!**

**Roy: Well, I think-**

**Riza: Think before you answer, sir.**

**Roy: …W-well, you know, um. Octopus?**

Hello again from the penguin phreak!

Scieszka: Thanks to you and Winry for your advice. Here's a gift. (shoves a copy of 'Les Miserables' toward Scieszka) Best book EVER.

Winry: Would you ever hit anyone other than Ed or Al in the head with a wrench? Because I've never seen anyone other than the Brothers Elric targeted by your Wrench of Furious Doom.

Ling: I said that I might not get involved in relationships until University... but I could make an exception for you. Maybe. (Cause you're goofy and nice and handsome and brave and smart and...) :D

Kimbley: What does the J in your name stand for? And don't blow me up over it. I've got a life I wanna live.

Envy: How about radioactive Tyrannosaur? And crochet me a blanket, you narcissist... person... thing. If you don't, I'll unleash the political fury of Victor Hugo upon your green-haired head every Saturday at 5:34 p.m. Just so you know. :D

Havoc: Lose the cigarette. That way, girls will flock towards you. Also, you have an extremely high risk for lung cancer. And you'll probably die from it. Good luck!

Ed and Al: Wanna party like it's 1909? (does the boogie) And, Al, next time you see a kitten in the alley, don't pick it up, no matter how cute it is. Feral cats are evil. I'm sorry, but that's the sad, sad truth. (pats Alphonse on the back)

Roy: Hey, look! (points) Dozens of scantily clad women running in your general direction!

Hughes: I have an idea. Let's become freelance journalists and unleash a wave of truth and justice upon the world. We shall capture all people who lie to massive populations for their own personal gain! We shall tell the truth to those who are ignorant! And you get to wear mirrored sunglasses.

Bibliophiel

Scieszka: Oh, thank you! But I've already read it. Three times. Why don't you read it, Winry?

**Winry: Okay! **(takes book) **No, only the Elrics get hit by my wrench, because we're so close and it would be awful of me to do it to anyone else.**

**Ed: Gee, thanks.**

**Ling: xD**

**Kimbley: Why the hell should I tell a complete stranger? You don't need to know.**

**Envy: What. The. Fcuk.**

**Havoc: …That's…encouraging…**

**Ed & Al: …**

**Al: But I love cats!!!!**

**Roy: Where!!!?**

**Hughes: Right! But how about instead, we tell the world all about my beautiful daughter, Elysia?**

Envy: I think you should become a model. You're very thin, tall, have long hair and unique style. Also, people would buy magazines with you on them just to know why a palm tree was the covergirl. Erm, coverthing. You could model skirts...

Kimbley: Can I hug you? And maybe learn alchemy from you? Everyone should know how to blow things up...

--The Siacatmesecat

Envy: Please tell me that's a sad attempt at a joke.

**Kimbley: You can't hug me, but I'll teach you how to blow things up ;)**

Yah! I was saved due to Ed's distraction! Here's money for the automail, Hagane no, forgive me!  
Anyway... Scar, I've slightly suicidal recently, so I really don't mind if you kill me, just make it as quick and painless as possible, PLEASE. (Pulls out blindfold and covers eyes).

- Teh Okamiluva

Ed: Thanks.

**Scar: I'm not going to kill you, okay?**

**Al: Ah! No! Don't kill yourself!!! D: That would be terrible!**

DUDES I'm back now for more questions. Ed, dude, your 1st. Dude have you not seen me being nice to you I have done no short jokes since my 1st post; but if you want I'll put more in. Oh, and even if I'm a Roy fan, I know how you can get back at him for jokes and stuff; but that is if you want to know. Now to have some fun with Scar. Ishbala is a load of BS and does it make you mad if I say Ishbalasalalala. Now for Winry, what would you do if Ed asked you if he went crazy would you still call him superman? Same question for Riza but Roy saying it. Now for the Flame Alchemist Roy, have you ever gone to battle and said it time was for a wiener roast? Now Armstrong, is your sister still looking for a date? Now Al, I don't have a question I just wanted to say hi DUDE! Now Dante. 3 words, you're a HO. Now Envy, you say you're not a girl, but if you look like one, talk like one and dress like one that means you are one. Well that's it for now (give Trisha, Winry and Riza a rose) by Scar's new foe  
Devine Spark Alchemist

**Ed: No, really, that's okay. Sure, I guess I'd like to know.**

**Scar: **(blows up Devine Spark Alchemist)

**Winry: … **(hits Ed with her wrench)

**Ed: OW!**

**Riza: …**

**Roy: No, never.**

**Armstrong: Not that I know of…**

**Al: Hi!! 3**

**Dante: 2 words: screw you.**

**Envy: No I'm not!!!**

**Trisha, Winry & Riza: Thank you!! ******

**Sorry this was a bit short, but better than nothing, right? I'll have another one up soon; I've already written some more answers. Enjoy!!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Sorry, guys! I'm still kinda busy, but hopefully this'll sorta make up, yeah? I think there's about 13 Q and As. In good news, like I've said, I've been writing answers in my journal, of which my teacher wrote, "There is not a grade high enough for this journal. A+ 100" YAY! I also wrote some of this on the bus. Feel loved 3  My friend Patty's saying. Lol. And in Neassa-chan's letter…lol. Well, it shows I was thinking of you guys, right? 3**

Ed- If Al was to die, would you be incredibly angsty for the rest of your days and commit suicide, or would you grieve for a while and then get over it?

Al- -shoves M-rated Elricest fic into his hands- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Uh oh...Ed's going to murder me now...

Roy- Give me some procrastination tips.

Ruby (Valley of the White Petals)- I recently finished your book, and I just have to say that YOU ARE A REALLY ROTTEN OC! Well, sure, you were created by Makoto Inoue in a Real Live Fandom Production, but she? he? it? is not Hiromu Arakawa, so you count as an OC.

Dante- Go jump off a cliff. You suck.

Envy- HOW COULD YOU LET DANTE PUSH YOU AROUND? YOU CAN OBVIOUSLY OVERPOWER HER IF IT CAME TO A FIGHT! WHY NOT JUST RUN AROUND MURDERING RANDOM PEOPLE LIKE A REGULAR SERIAL KILLER?

Luijon- HOW COULD YOU DITCH THAT NICE LITTLE GIRL WHOSE NAME I DON'T REMEMBER THAT YOU WERE GOING TO MARRY? You belong splatted on some rocks below a cliff. Go join Dante.

Heiderich- You're awesome. I wish you didn't die.

Alter-Hughes- -sticks tongue out-

-HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite, or just Hilaria, if you prefer

**Ed: I don't think I'd commit suicide, but I'd probably be emotionally wrecked for life. I mean, we're so close and all. But eventually, I think I'd find something (or someone) to help me get over it for a while, but I'd probably be really depressed a lot.**

**Al: I…didn't need to see that!**

**Ed: Stop tainting my brother's mind!!!!**

**Roy: Sure. I'll get to it later.**

**Ruby: Um…sorry?**

**Dante: Same to you.**

**Envy: BECAUSE I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT! You know what happened to Greed? Yeah, well I kind of don't want that to happen to me.**

**Luijon: …You mean Lydia? Listen, I'm sorry, but I loved Lust, too (I'm a guy; what can I say?). That's not a very nice thing to say.**

**Heiderich: Thanks. Me too.**

**Alter-Hughes: …**

Ed: If someone asks you about your height again, ask them how tall should a normal boy of your age should be, and then if it's shorter than your current height, then that's... um, bad for you. Don't be offended, besides, it's not your fault anyways, blame the genes!

Sakura-Moonlight 

**Ed: Don't you mean if it's **_**taller **_**than my current height? If a "normal boy of my age" should be shorter than me, then that means I'm tall, right? But otherwise I agree with you. Cuz I'm not short.**

And... Her Weirdness has returned!

To Ed Too-short-to-kick-a-dwarf and Roy Fluffy-Pink-Unicorn:  
You can't kill me! I'm already dead! (Evil laugh) And now I'm going to draw you two having sex with EVERY SINGLE GUY ON THE SHOW!

To Winry and Riza:  
It's so much fun to annoy them You think I'm going too far though?

To Envy:  
(Pulls out the picture of Ed and Roy) You want it? You can use it to blackmail Ed.

One more thing. This time it's actually ADVICE! And I'm asking Marta 'cause she's part snake.

To Marta:  
My 15th birthday is coming up in less that two months and I think my parents agree that I can have a pet. I REALLY want a snake, but my mom's so freaked out by them! She thinks snakes are evil (Which is crazy). Do you have any suggestions on how I can convince her that snakes aren't evil and to let me have one for my birthday?

-HisokaYukiko

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HIS SIZE CAN BE COMPARED TO THAT OF A MICRO-ORGANISM!?!? I'M GONNA SMASH YOUR FACE IN FOR THAT!!!!**

**Roy: **(glares)** I'd like to see you try. You don't have the nerve to do it!**

**Winry & Riza: Yes.**

**Winry: It's kinda funny, but…**

**Riza: They're going to kill you.**

**Winry: Especially Ed.**

**Envy: Haha! Great!**

**Ed: You'd better destroy that!**

**Roy: Already taken care of…**(snaps fingers and the picture bursts into flames)

**Marta: Unfortunately, some people hate snakes so much that they'll never be able to truly get over it. Promise her that she won't ever have to even look at it and keep it in your room. Also remind her that she said you could have a pet, and have your father side with you. Show her websites on snakes that support your beliefs, and ask for something like a green rat snake: harmless and relatively small.**

'Ello!! I'm back of course... crazy and weird!

Wrath: -gives him a lot more candy-

Barry: Thanks... So... does that mean I'm crazier than you?

Oh that's right... I'm being chased... -runs and hides behind Lust- Save me from the crazy shrimp and his brother! If you do... I'll turn you human... -holds up the Stone-

Shoushin Wrath: 

**Barry The Chopper: NO WAY!!!**

**Lust: Hmmm…sounds like a good deal… ) **(evil grin)

Hallo! I'm tired and I'm having school overload (GAH! MY BRAIN!), but I still love you guys enough to write to you. FEEL LOVED!

Ed: Now, now, Ed. Didn't I tell you it was a term of endearment? Why are you acting like I insulted you? No, wait. ((scrolls up)) Yeah, I insulted you. Live with it, shortie.

Al: Thank you for constantly keeping your brother from killing me. ((glompage)) Ahem, anyways. I already tried that, but apparently my Biology teacher thinks playing with dead stuff is the greatest thing ever, so I'm pretty stuck.

Dante: But I had Oreos today! ((bouncing all around)) Hyperhyperhyperhyper!

Wrath: Yay, sugarhigh! ((hands him Oreos))

Roy: Yeah, right, Mr. Pirate. I know if it weren't for Riza you'd be too lazy to do much of anything. And y'know, I think that pirate thing my just catch on. Maybe I'll start calling you Pirate-san...

Winry: Don't hurt him too bad. He gets banged up enough fighting serial killers as it is. Though, he really SHOULD tell you these things...

Riza: Yes, yes I did. But Roy didn't give me a straight answer, so I'm asking you! Please answer the question! ((would have demanded, but is afraid of getting shot))

Envy: ((glomps and hangs on pathetically to ankle)) WHY DO YOU HATE ME?! NOW YOU HAVE TO CROCHET ME A BLANKET TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!

Neassa-chan

Ed: I am going to hunt you down and- 

**Al: Brother! Stop! Um, you could skip school that day. Wait, so you've already privately spoken with her and told her that you're really, REALLY uncomfortable about the whole thing? No chance of an alternate assessment? Hmmm… **_**(A/N Today, in Biology AP for Juniors, they were dissecting pigs. It made me think of this question lol. Unfortunately, that kinda distracted me from my test. Lol. It's ok, though. Um, anyway…)**_

Dante: Why are you telling me this? 

**Wrath: YAAAY!!! 3 3 3 3**

**Roy: One word: ****NO.**

**Winry: If he can survive serial killers, he can survive my wrench!**

**Riza: Oh, I don't know. As long as it's romantic, I suppose.**

**Envy: First off, I don't HAVE to do ANYTHING! And secondly, THIS is why I hate you!!**

Hi I'll start with the shrimp. Heh I must say it's funny how you get so mad at something so LITTLE. You know, LITTLE like you but what is odd to me is that you're short but you still get hit with Winry's tools… Next Winry. Do you know about Psiren? If not you need to ask Ed and if he says he doesn't know what I'm talking about he's lying; Roy can tell you that much. Oh, here, use this hammer in case he still won't tell you (hands her a hammer)(evil grin). Now for Riza. Here take this to keep Roy in line (hands her a big water gun) oh and from what I've heard he has be making fun of you behind your back. Now Pride. You should have killed the kid before, you would have won then. Too bad the good bad guys die, but dead or not I look up to you. Now Envy. Evil or not you're still gay and no matter what you say you still look like a girl. Next Dante. If you're looking for help I'm looking for a job. Heh well I'll be back later.

_dark spark alchemist_

Ed: You're asking for it!!!!! 

**Winry: No, actually, I don't. **_**Edward?**_

Ed: She's just some thief that I helped get arrested! Winry: Then why do people keep asking about her? 

**Ed: How should I know!?**

**Winry: **_**You're **_**asking for it!**

**Riza: Oh, he **_**has,**_** has he?**

**Roy: No I haven't!!**

**Pride: Well, I didn't exactly think that he'd come in like he did. Thank you, though.**

**Envy: NO, I'M NOT!!**

**Dante: Hm. I'll consider it.**

Hey, Hoshi here,

1. Wrath- If someone were to call you a girl at my school, what would you do?

2. Fletcher- I just think you're adorable! And you too Wrath, no matter what! (sorry, my homunculus, Hatred, did that!)

Hoshi-Ryuu 

**Wrath: Punch 'em in the face. Or kick 'em in the shin.**

**Fletcher: Thanks **

**Wrath: …How do **_**you**_** have a Homunculus…?**

Hello! Me and my friend were wondering the other day what all of you guys' middle names were? I KNOW you guys have them, so come on, spill it! We guessed that Ed has a really geeky name and that Riza's is something so girly and bad she'd probably shoot someone for saying it out loud!

Also Roy and Maes Hughes-I read this one fanfiction where it was set way in the future when Elysia was all grown up and joined the military like her daddy did, but then she got together with Roy...if you know what I mean...it was kind of weird since Roy is like 30 years older then her and that's his best friend's kid...what do you think of that?

And finally I need some advice! I have these two friends who went out with each other for almost three years and now their broken up and hate each other, but me and my friend don't know how to deal with them. We're friends with both of them and its like their wanting us to choose one or the other. So what should we do?

Well that's all for now, except I bow to Envy for his utter coolness. If there was a fan club, I'd totally be the Vice President! MWAH!

TheShadowedSparrow Ed: No, I don't! 

**Riza: …No, and for that, I'm not telling you.**

**Winry: U-um, well, unlike your world, not many people in our world **_**have **_**middle names. Especially the younger generations; they were more popular in Roy and Riza's time, but even then not many people had them. Sometimes a person's middle name is their mother or father's name (not in Ed or Al's case, though); for example, my middle name is Sarah.**

**Roy: …Are you suggesting that I'm old?**

**Winry: …No.**

**Hughes: …**(slaps Roy) **Elysia! Stay away from him!**

**Roy: Hey, I'd never do that!!**

**Ed: coughcoughpedophilecoughcough**

**Hughes: Roy! I never expected you to be-**

**Roy: I am NOT!!!**

(arguing ensues)

**Winry: …**(trying not to get distracted by the three-way fighting) **Well, don't choose. You can still be friends with both of them. They're going to have to deal with your liking both of them. If they have a problem and refuse to be your friend if you're friends with the other person, then they're just going to scare all of their friends away, which is really their own problem. You shouldn't have to choose between them, and if they have a problem with this, you should let them know how unfair they're being. Maybe you could also try to get them to be friends; hey, you never know until you try!**

**Envy: Heh, thanks. Why **_**Vice**_** President, though? Why not President?**

Hi FMA peoples! I'm back...  
to Envy, Ed, and Roy,  
I'm terrible sorry for you. Yaoi fangirls are rather frightening, aren't they?  
To just Envy,  
In spite of killing Mr. Hughes, you are kinda cool. But still evil. However, I don't think it's a mini-skirt.  
To Winry,  
My sister says, "Hi! I like your tools! Can you conk Ed on the head again?" (aliveinchrist13: sorry, Ed. She made me put it. Please, Winry, don't do it...)  
To Shou Tucker,  
It was very evil what you did to your daughter, but unlike everyone else, I don't hate you. I feel sorry for you. You're the one who has to live with the guilt 24/7.  
That's all for now... Rest assured, I shall be back...

_aliveinchrist13_

**Ed, Envy & Roy: Yeah, tell me about it.**

**Envy: 'Preciate it.**

**Winry: Hi! Thanks! Um, I guess I could. He's probably done **_**something**_**…**(hits Ed with wrench)

**Ed: AH! You don't have to actually **_**listen**_** to her!**

**Winry: Don't wanna disappoint my fans, now…**

**Tucker: **(whispering) **Well, thank you. Yes, see, I was only trying to-**

**Ed: You dirty bastard!! Do you even **_**know **_**what you've done!? You friggen sacrificed your own daughter!!! That's unforgivable!! Burn in hell!!**

**Tucker: **(still whispering) **…Well, that's not very nice.**

**Ed: Who are you to talk about "nice"!?**

I've got a question:

To all the guys of FMA: Okay, I've never actually seen any YAOI pairing stories, but I'm really creeped out. None of you deserve that torture. How do you all feel about it?

PhoenixFire03 

**All guys: Yeah, it's unanimous. We hate it.**

More questions and comments, and just so everyone knows, my friend said she can't die so don't try.

Wrath (movie)-How old are you? I think you're around 14 but my friend (the one with the names) said 8.

(from evil friend) Iron Giant - Why do you prefer young children over the old?

Everyone- SHE TALKS ABOUT THAT EVERYDAY! THAT'S THE MOST 'INNOCENT' OF HER COMMENTS!

Moofy-Fan 

**Ed: I doubt it. She's as good as dead.**

**Al: Brother! You can't threaten her!**

**Wrath: Well, I don't know how long I was on Yock Island for, so I can't accurately say, but 14 is closer than 8.**

**Al: ……Oh, you mean me? Uhm, I don't know what you're talking about?**

**Ed: Leave my brother alone! You want a pedophile, go talk to Roy!**

**Roy: Hey!!**

**Winry: You call that "innocent"? I don't even want to know anything else she says!!**

**Everyone: Yeah, agreed.**

Envy: You Rock! (even if you are an anorexic, cross-dressing palm tree)

Ed: Drink milk, you'll get taller

Wrath: I love you, but you need to chill.

Greed: I...just... You need to die. NOW!

Al: You can share my kitten with me!

Riza: Have you tried Halo? You'd like it. There's a lot of shooting involved!

AND NOW A QUESTION

Have you ever dressed up as anyone, other than yourself, in the series for fun? (like Halloween or something)

DESTINY  
P.S. Who else likes pie?

**Envy: …Was that supposed to be something **_**good**_

**Ed: 1, I hate milk and I will NEVER drink that vile…STUFF, and 2, I AM NOT SO SHORT THAT I COULD BE COMPARED TO A POINT IN MATHEMATICS!!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: For those who don't know, a "point" in math is represented by a dot (.), but doesn't really take up space. For a better explanation, look it up cuz, even though I wrote this part in math, I'm not too good in the subject :D**

**Wrath: Uh, yeah. Sure.**

**Ed: As soon as people stop giving him sugar…**

**Wrath: Right.**

**Greed: …I'm already dead. Sorry to disappoint you. (Not really)**

**Al: Yaaaaay!! 3 :3**

**Riza: Um, no, I'm sorry. I haven't.**

**Winry: We don't have "Halloween" in this world. But the military personnel wear the same uniforms, and in the movie Al wore Ed's clothes.**

**Ed: Pie is really good. Winry and Gracia make the BEST pies.**

**Winry: Aw, thanks, Ed! Gracia taught me **

**Hughes: My Gracia's pies are the BEST!**

**Gracia: Oh, thank you all so much! That's very kind of you to say!**

HI! Back with more comments, maybe even a question or two!

Ed:  
1.Oh of course it's not anything bad! It's naughty, but not bad.  
2.Haha I just read an EdxRoy XD I love 'em! (but shh, don't let my friend know I said that!)

Envy:  
1.Of course I appreciate you, you're the coolest person out of FMA AND InuYasha combined!  
2.I have noticed that people try to annoy you, not really smart if you ask me...

Dante:  
1.I don't hate you anymore! I actually think your kinda cool.

Wrath:  
1.Why are you so cute?  
2.I hate kids but I would DEFINANTLY adopt YOU!

I would like to take this opportunity to list all the people I DON'T like.  
1.Hohenheim. 2.Barry the Chopper. 3.Scar. 4.Lust. 5.Greed (I REALLY DONT LIKE HIM, AND ITS NOT CUZ ENVY HATES HIM!!) and Gracia (Sorry Hughes!)

Love you all! (except people on my hate list!)  
CrimsonTears2

**Ed: That's kind of what I meant. "Bad" had a large range…AND I DO NOT LOVE ROY!!**

**Envy: You know, you're pretty cool. I guess.**

**Dante: Oh really now? Thanks.**

**Wrath: Uhmm…I dunno. Thanks, but I already have a mommy 3**

**Hohenheim: …I get that a lot…**

**Barry The Chopper: Huh? LET ME CHOP YOU UP! :D**

**Ed: Maybe that's why she doesn't like you…**

**Scar: …Whatever you want.**

**Lust: Gee, why would you hate **_**me**_

**Greed: I think it is.**

**Hughes: WHAAAAT!? How could you possibly not like my wife!?**

**Gracia: Honey…it's okay! Really!**

**Sorry, that's all I have time for right now!! Oh, and N.C. Stormeye: I'm working on reading your story right now. It'll prolly be up in the next column. If I have time. Sigh. I have SO many things due this month…Go easy on my, guys!! 3 I can't wait till the summer; I'll have SO much time then! Love ya all, peace!!**


	34. Chapter 34

Sorry again for the awful posting! My projects are almost done, though, so things should get back to normal in a week or two. Until then…

_**A/N This song is copyright of N.C. Stormeye. She has the rights and such to it since she wrote it, so don't try to go using it unless you ask her for permission first!!! The second questions refers to her story "Snow White and the Eight Dwarves".**_

_To Lust: How would you react if someone wrote a song about you?:  
Desperation (For Lust from FMA)_

Let's be human for a moment  
Indulge me  
Let's say we all have memories  
These things that seem to fade

Is this all the makes a difference  
Tell me  
Is a past all you need to be mortal  
And a future all you need to fade

I've been searching for a way out  
Of who I am  
Or what I am, per se

But every where I turn  
It's another dead end  
Wake me up again

I've been driven  
To the point of desperation  
But I won't let this hope go  
No I won't let it go

Because I so desperately  
Need to prove that I'm human  
If you cut me I bleed, just enough  
If you wound me it hurts, just enough

And I'm putting my hopes  
In a child's hands  
Is it worth all the pain  
For that moment of gain

Somewhere within  
I'm still the girl in those memories  
The one's I hang on to  
So desperately

So somewhere inside, I'm mortal  
And it's all I can say just to hang on  
I've sold myself time and again  
And all my humanity's fading  
There's a part of me missing, I'm aching  
For the last resolution

And the end to the desperation...  


_And to everyone: How would you feel if a twisted version of Snow White involving everybody really happened? Oh, and please no killing me for this?_

N.C. Stormeye 

**Lust: I like it. It could even just be a poem. This one I like, but if it wasn't so good, I'd probably get annoyed, to say the least.**

**Roy: …You're going to die.**

**Ed: I dunno, Colonel, you look kinda cute in a dress.**

5 seconds pass and…

Ed: WAIT! I didn't mean it like THAT! I meant…oh, never mind… 

**Riza: Just be glad that I'm okay in men's' clothing.**

**Winry: I kinda like my character. Though she hasn't really been in it that much, but I like her all the same.**

Envy  
-don't let people get to you about your sexuality or gender. You're obviously genderless and you don't care about relationships. 

Ed  
-how do you feel to know that your dad probably wouldn't have CURED your mother's sickness?  
-Do you feel like pulling an Envy and hate your dad again?  
-Oh, try reading my fanfiction 'Healing Heartbreak' whenever you can. Be sure not to hate me!

Hohenheim  
-I wasn't saying to transfer her soul to another body. I was saying that if you had the Stone, you could have cured her illness like Marcoh did with Elisa when she was a baby with his incomplete stone. 

Al  
-I've read some fanfictions saying that you're allergic to cats. Are you?  
-If you aren't allergic, just wait until you're older and get a place of your own to have a cat.

Roy  
-you look a whole lot like Miroku on InuYasha. Heck, you two are even the same type of guys! Here's a picture. shows picture of Miroku to FMA gang

Dante  
-Ed may have a liking to Rose, but he really loves Winry. You should have used Winry.

That's all for now!

Harryswoman 

**Envy: Yes. Obviously.**

**Ed: Well that's fine but he still should have been there for her AND us. We'd still be whole if he'd stuck around. There will always be a part of me that hates my father, even if it's just a little bit. And if you say "don't hate me", I'm not so sure that I wanna read it…**

**Hohenheim: Yes, that is true. Sorry, I didn't think that was what you meant. Yes, I could have a probably would have done that.**

**Al: Um, if I was allergic, why would I wanna get one?**

**Roy: Uh…I do?**

**Everyone: Yeah, ya kinda do.**

**Dante: Kidnapping Rose was much simpler, though, and in manipulating her, I was able to get a new Stone.**

HisokaYukiko- Please, give me the site for that pic! I'M BEGGING YOU!

Takes Ed and Roy off to the side where no other cast members can hear her I've tried being nice, and I'm fed up. I'm also PMSing right now, and I want you to know that I have blackmail material. If you two don't share a hot, steamy kiss in front of everyone, I will tell Winry about Psiren and Noa, and an anonymous note will enter the Bradley's office saying that Roy Mustang would do anything to become Fuhrer. The outcomes of my... information... reaching its source will be extremely painful...

Alykat2007 

**Ed & Roy: ………**

**Winry: Let us give you some womanly advice.**

**Riza: When a woman is PMSing…**

**Winry & Riza: DO WHAT SHE SAYS!**

**Ed: What's PMSing?**

**Winry: **(slaps forehead with hand) **Do you know ANYTHING about women!?**

**Ed: Not a clue.**

**Winry: Grrr…Come here! **(drags him offstage) **I'm gonna teach you everything you'll ever need to know about women!!**

**Riza: …Poor kid.**

**Roy: So, um, seeing as Ed's going through health class, we can't kiss (not that we'd want to)! So sorry!**

Er, well, if you won't kill me, prepare for bashing. First off, Christianity Ishbalan religion and Alchemy, second, I'll follow D.S.A.'s example, and make up a derogatory nickname for your... deity...ishballama! Third and finally (I'm surprised I'm not dead yet)... I know what you are allergic to...

From,  
Teh Okamiluva

**Scar: You know, I tried to be nice, but you know what? **(blows up The Okamiluva's computer) **There. And I'm not allergic to anything.**

Scar, dude, you can't hurt me I'm talking using a pc but I have some questions. Ed, you're first. The next time Roy is a jerk to you wait till he is hitting on some girls then run up and hug him saying, "Daddy!!" Do that a few times and he'll quit. Now Roy. To not let this happen make sure he is gone before you start picking up girls. Well I'm done for now, here have some more flowers (hands a lot of flowers to Trisha, Winry & Riza) Oh, and Scar ISHBALASALALALA! By Scar's new foe  
Devine Spark Alchemist

**Scar: …**(blows up Devine Spark Alchemist's computer too)

**Ed: Like I did on the train that one time? Good idea.**

**Roy: Yeah, I know.**

**Trisha, Winry & Riza: Thanks!!**

Envy, why do you have to be so $#&&$#ing hot? Seriously! Quit it, you're driving me up the wall! I love you!

Scar, would you kill me if you met me? Asks while hiding behind friend

Ed, can I play with your hair? It's cool! heh...

Al, can my friend hug you? She loves you!;)

Havoc, I just want to say...YOU ARE AWSOME XD

Hughes, Why did you have to die?:(

Zexy's Girl Envy: Um…thanks…See? A GIRL likes me! So I'm not feminine!! 

**Scar: **(currently in a bad mood due to previous two "letters") **Unless you're a State Alchemist or you say "Ishbalalala" or ruffle my hair or something, no, probably not.**

**Ed: Um, no. Sorry.**

**Al: Sure:3**

**Havoc: Thanks! …You wouldn't happen to be around my age, would you?**

**Roy: Please. She'd rather go out with **_**Envy **_**than you.**

**Hughes: Budget cut. Just kidding :P**

This is for Ed...(I wuv you, Ed!) Anyways, in the fight with Greed how come when he died you were upset? I mean you said you hated Homunculi and for everyone, anyone...have any of you ever crossed over to any other anime before? If so which?

_kakashilove123_

Ed: Well, he'd just helped me out, and it was the first time I'd ever killed anyone- a Homunculus, no less. Also, I'd come to feel that he wasn't as bad as the others.

**Al: Except in fanfiction, nope.**

Guten Aben FMA peoples. Told you I'd be back.

To Al,  
Our cat just had kittens! Five of them! We wishes you could come and see them in their cuteness 3

To Armstrong,  
You should change the color of your sparkles to green, because green would win in a fight against pink! (don't ask how we know this.)

To Gluttony,  
Do you think of Lust as more of a parent, owner, or girlfriend? Or have you not considered it?

To Roy,  
The "Lizard" on your transmutation circle for flame alchemy is called a salamander, and is the Fire elemental in Greek (I think) mythology. Did you know this?

To BakaKonekoRKL (who is not technically an FMA person, but who deserves to be written to),  
Rock on. Thanks for letting me do the Naruto one of these.

All for now. Don't sleep, I'll be back.

_aliveinchrist13_

**Al: Awwwwww!!! Take good care of them!!!!**

**Armstrong: Sorry, but they're staying. IT'S AN ARMSTRONG FAMILY TRADITION!!!**

**Gluttony: Lust…**

**Lust: Take that as undecided.**

**Roy: No, I didn't. I don't really get into things like that. But thank you.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Lol. Well, sometimes I throw myself in here and there when I wanna comment on something. I'll visit your column once I get some free time. That could take a while. Lol.**

To Wrath: Well, I created a Homunculus...-points to Hatred- she loves you..

Hatred: WRATHY-KUN!

To Roy: Have you accidentally ever lit yourself on fire?

Hoshi-Ryuu Wrath: …Do you even know how a Homunculus is created??? 

**Roy: No, but I can light you on fire all night long.**

**Ed: You pervert.**

-dances- I'm back! 

Wrath: Wow... people love to get you sugarhigh Wrathy-kun... maybe... you should be like me now... -hands him a cup of crack filled coffee- drink up! 

Barry: -looks at him- B-But... I am crazier than you... -pouts-

Lust: 0o... I'm so glad you aren't using that crazy/insane face that you use when trying to kill someone... it's scary... -looks at the Stone for a minute, then looks back at her- Hey... how do I know you won't just kill me off then take the Stone for yourself... whoops! -covers mouth- I didn't say anything... -whistles-

Shoushin 

**Wrath: Nooo, I only like sugary stuff! Coffee tastes like…like…chalk or something!**

**Barry The Chopper: I'm a SERIAL KILLER. I'm pretty sure that I'm MUCH crazier than you.**

**Lust: You're really bad at keeping things to yourself, aren't you?**

I'm back! Yay!

Envy: I'd be the Vice President because everyone always tries to blame/assassinate the President whenever anything goes wrong. Plus, that way I can help control things to how I like them and not be blamed, because everyone always sticks it to the President! ;) But I do have a question for you; you've lived FAR longer then any of the other homunculus have, so what do you do in your time? Read stuff? Hang out with Dante? What?

Riza: I'm sorry! Please can I know you middle name?

Roy: Did you get to be a pedophile from when all those underage girls fell for Havoc? You should seriously get that problem taken care of, no one wants Fuhrer Pedophile. Remember the first step is admitting you have a problem.

Ed, Al, Winry, Rose, Elysia, Wrath, Fletcher, and everyone else under age: Remember to keep your distance from Roy no matter what he threatens or promises, etc. If he touches you in a 'no-no' spot tell an adult. It will be okay!

TheShadowedSparrow 

**Envy: Good idea. But then, who's the President that you'd be blaming everything on? I do all kinds of things, from planning our next step out with the other Homunculi and Dante to running "errands" (delivering messages, killing people, you know). I do many different things. But not crocheting.**

**Riza: Sorry, but I wasn't going to tell you anyway.**

**Roy: Damnit, I AM. NOT. A. PEDOPHILE!!! So stop filling these children's heads full of lies!!!**

Hi everyone! I'm back!

Ed:  
1.Really? I was pretty sure you liked Mustang, oh well, could be wrong, I'm not but w/e!  
2.Haha you're so clever in the episode where you buy the gold mine! Haha I would have never of thought to tell him to write that he handed it over free of charge...Very cool!

Envy:  
1.You think I'm pretty cool? Awesome! -Writes it in diary- I have wanted that to be said to me ever since I started watching FMA!  
2.Ok I was watching 2 clips of you on youtube, one was a clip of you talking and I love your voice! Its awesome, the other one you just have to type in 'fma envy bathrooms'. It's hilarious!

Dante:  
1.You're quite welcome.  
2.You're now kinda like an idol of mine (aside from Envy), you're so mean and manipulative and I bow down to you for that!

Barry:  
1.Ha! Just you try it tin can! (referring to when your not human no more) You couldn't chop me up if your life depended on it!

Greed:  
1.Nuh Uh! Envy hating you has nothing to do with it!

Hohenheim and Gracia:  
1.Oh gosh, now I feel bad, I'm sorry! (major mood swings huh?).  
2.I don't hate you guys no more! -hugs you all!-

Roy:  
1.I have an icon of you that says 'If I were any hotter I would burn the ground I walk on' haha I love it!

Elysia:  
1.I don't think anyone's talked to you yet.  
2.You are the cutest thing ever! (Not as cute as Wrath though, he's the cutsey-ootsiest thing ever)

Bye for now.

Sincerely,  
CrimsonTears2

**Ed: No, actually, you ****are ****wrong. But thanks for the compliment.**

**Envy: …I take it back. Wierdo.**

**Dante: Haha! Thanks so much!**

**Barry the Chopper: You really think so? Ha! **(takes out knives) **Just let me find out where you live, and see what you say ****then**

**Hohenheim & Gracia: Oh, that's ok! We didn't mean to make you feel bad.**

**Roy: That is awesome.**

**Elysia: Hiii! 3 Thanks!**

**Hughes: You know, you're right! No one besides you has talked to my wonderful daughter yet! But Wrath is in no way cuter than her.**

**I hope this long column sorta makes up for my ucky updating. Lol. However, next week might not be so cool. Monday I don't have anything to do, but I have to work on a project that's due on Thursday and an essay that's due the Thursday after. Tuesday I have Tae-Kwon-Do for many, many hours. Wednesday I have to continue on the project and essay and also go to an award ceremony to get my French National Honors Award. Thursday is Tae-Kwon-Do, and so is Friday, but it'll be later, so maybe I'll get a chance to post then. The week after I'll probably mostly be working on my essay, too. But the week after will probably revert back to the normal Mon-Wed-Fri updation ways. I'll try to update as much as I can, but if I can't get many questions in, please don't burn me at the stake ' I still have several questions left over from this so I apologize if I didn't get your question in, but as usual, I'll start with them next time. But hey, there's 12 questions and lately I've been lucky to have enough time to put in 8. Enjoy, and I'll keep working hard!! ******


	35. Chapter 35

Sorry again for the wait ' I just need to finish writing an essay on the Civil War, which'll be due 5-24-07. Until then…just be patient with me ' Onto the questions!!

_Heh heh I am here  
Envy CROCHET MY FRIEND JESSICA A BLANKET! SHE THINKS YOU ARE HOT! PERSONALLY, I THINK SHE WAS ON CRACK WHEN SHE SAID THAT!  
Wrath have candy! gives candy  
Scar you are so cool  
Ed my friend Perri wants to know if you are gay. She also says Elricest is hot  
Al my friend Perri says that your innocence makes her want to tie you up and rpe you  
Dante I HATE YOU! BURN IN HELL!  
Kimbley will you blow up my school?  
Roy are you going to marry Riza?  
Riza same question but insert the name Roy  
I will be back do not doubt it._

_roxie-san_

**Envy: OKAY THAT'S GREAT, BUT I CAN'T CROCHET!!**

**Wrath: Thanks!!!**

**Scar: …Thank you.**

**Ed: No, I'm not, and NO, it's NOT!**

**Al: …Should I be scared for my life?**

**Ed: Could you all just leave my brother alone!?**

**Al: **(scarred) **I second that…**

**Dante: Same to you.**

**Kimbley: Sure )**

**Roy: **(smirking) **Perhaps… 3**

**Riza: I…don't know…**

_**A/N If you haven't read chapter 70 of the manga yet, PLEASE SKIP THIS QUESTION. I read it in order to be able to answer this question, and let me tell you, there are MAJOR spoilers that will make you want to murder a certain "young child" and glomp some certain blonde-haired people. Well, that's what it made **_**me**_** want to do, anyway. Okay, warning over, let's go!**_

After reading this for a long time, I finally leave questions. This is manga-based by the way.

Ed: Why'd you freak out when you remembered Riza asking if you loved Winry? Winry was right there, you should have kissed her! (Chap. 70 people). Also, Ed? YOU. ARE. A. MINISCULE. SHRIMP.

Winry and Riza: You two are my favorite characters! Even though Winry belongs with Ed, and Riza with Roy, I love the way you keep them in line!

Alphonse: Were you relieved when you found out from Ed that your body wasn't rotting in the Gate? And why can't you love dogs, they're sooo much cuter!

Wrath: Here. 'Gives him wagonload of chocolate' Enjoy the sugar rush!

Roy: 'Gives picture of Riza in a miniskirt' Here. No more dates, just stare at this until you get the guts to ask her out.

Izumi: You completely rock! Where did you meet and fall in love with Sig, anyway? (I'm a hopeless romantic)

Later!

HinduGoddess

**Ed: ……BECAUSE SHE'S A GIRL! And in case you haven't noticed, I'm not very good with girls (romantically)! Plus that bastard Kimbley was RIGHT THERE. AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE COULD GET LOST IN A SCHOOL OF HIS SHRIMPY BREATHREN!?!?**

**Winry: Thanks so much! ) **(hits Ed with wrench) **She didn't say that, Ed!**

**Riza: Thanks.**

**Al: Of course I was! Sorry, but I love cats 3 I just think that they're so cute! But I do like dogs, too.**

**Wrath: Thank you for your donation! xD**

**Roy: 3**

**Izumi: ) In Dublith, of course. It was very long time ago, but I remember going into his shop one day and, well…let your imagination take over from there.**

Ed: Seriously, what's wrong with milk? It's not that bad, is it? And it will make you taller coughshrimpcough.

PhoenixFire03

**Ed: It's a gross, opaque liquid! It's so disgusting, it's just ****terrible****! AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE COULD GET LOST IN A GLASS OF MILK!?!?!?**

More questions and comments from me. Fletcher- I was writing this story in school today and you are a homunculus and evil and serve Envy and act kinda like Wrath...  
Wrath- In the story you live with Ed and Al, and Ed threw a bucket of water on your head cause you were going to be late for school.  
Al-I'VE BEEN OBSESED WITH YOU LATELY, YOU'RE SO COOL!  
(From a friend of mine, not the scary one) Dante - What motivated you to create the homunculi? I mean, did you name them? Are you religious (7 deadly sins)? Oh yeah, and your awesome!

Moofy-Fan

**Fletcher: Um…okay, great.**

**Wrath: …WHAT?**

**Al: Thanks )**

**Dante: I didn't create ****all**** of them. FullMetal and his brother made Sloth, Izumi made Wrath, and the Ishbalan's brother made Lust. I made the others (Hohenheim of Light and I both made Envy), but I'm not religious (most Alchemists aren't). Their names are those of the Seven Deadly Sins because Human Transmutation in Alchemy is the greatest sin in Alchemy. And thanks.**

Hokay. SO. Me and my sister just want to say that WE LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS! Especially Barry the Chopper!

YukiHasAMercedes

**Barry The Chopper: xD ********pwns life right now**

...  
Hi guys, I did post one time under Fullmetal Fangrl's name...  
coughs ya, umm, sorry 'bout that...  
Anyways...  
Edo:  
1. I love you so much, just because you always look out for your brother, and it's so... 'noble' maybe... is that the right word?  
2. Ok, if you could only regain one limb and Al's body, would it be your arm or your leg? Just curious.  
Roy:  
1. I love you too, even though you're a pedophile :)  
Riza:  
1. You're awesome- I mean the way you're always shooting Roy for being LAZY is so cool (and probably helps him out a lot)  
Elysia:  
1. You're so kawaii! Here, have a lollipop! hands Elysia lollipop  
Envy:  
1. I admire your hatred of your father and the human race, it inspires me to write angst and tragedy.   
Dante:  
1. I admire you for how incredibly smart and talented you are- you need more appreciation!!  
Hohenheim:  
1. Why did you make the first Philosopher's Stone?  
Hughes:  
1. Why do you obsess over pictures so much?

Well, that's it for now.

-Fullmetal Lvr

**Ed: Wow. Thanks so much. Uhm, let me think. If we'd still have to fight Homunculi I'd like to keep my automail arm, because I can transmute it into weapons, but if the Homunculi were gone and we could just settle down, it would be a bit more difficult to choose, but I think I'd like my arm flesh again because (I think) it would be easier in relationships and such, and while I don't usually wear shorts, I'd like to wear short sleeves and not having people staring at my automail. Not that I'm not proud of having Winry's best work, but it's a little awkward, you know?**

**Roy: Thank you, but I'M NOT A PEDOPHILE!!!**

**Riza: Thanks so much ) Usually it's just the threat to shoot, though.**

**Elysia: Thank you! **(takes lollipop gratefully)

**Envy: I'm glad you feel that way.**

**Dante: Thanks a lot )**

**Hohenheim: Because Dante and I wanted to live forever.**

**Hughes: Well, because my wife and daughter are just SOOOOOOO beautiful and amazing and… **(goes on and on and on about his family…)

You know what everyone? I'm sorry. Really, really desperately sorry for how I've been and I've changed... Heck no, I'm still the same but I'll be nicer. A LOT nicer. But I still support RoyxEd.  
Roy: I lurve you and your angsty problems. And OMG I just realized that you DO look and act like Miroku from InuYasha. You're both perverts and like 16 year-olds (Ed and Sango). Pedo.  
Ed: You would look so cute as a slutty koneko... sorry. But you would.  
Al: Forgive me. Winry IS nice and DON'T have sex with your bro. I passed the Elricest phase and now I find it disgusting.  
Envy: Envy-san... You are sooo cute. And I'm NOT gonna be nicer to YOU. Do you really like Ed? I read this fic where you drugged him and accidentally got yourself pregnant with Ed's child... o.0  
Hohenheim: I'm ignoring you for no reason, though the fact that I'm notifying you about this means that I'm not REALLY ignoring you so ignore this but don't ignore ME while I ignore you so that you will ignore me... I didn't get that either.  
Hughes: I think you're a pedo, too. The way you obsess over Elysia is disturbing and I KNOW she's you're daughter but... it seems WRONG.

Full Metal Rocker

**Roy: I was going to say thanks until I finished reading the question. I'm not ****that**** perverted and I don't like 16-year-olds!!!!**

**Winry: I know I've mentioned that I sometimes read some manga (like InuYasha) in my free time, so I know that Sango's older that 16…in her early twenties, at ****least****, and Miroku's around the same age. But I wouldn't be surprised if ****Roy**** was a pedophile.**

**Roy: But I'm not!!**

**Ed: ………I'm sorry, ****what?**

**Al: Oh, okay ) That's good.**

**Envy: You say I'm "cute", but follow it by saying you're not going to be nicer to me?! Also, please give me the name of the author who wrote that so I can kill him/her!!**

**Hohenheim: I got the jist of it.**

**Hughes: No way! What, a man can't love his daughter non-romantically?**

I'm back for more... stuff...

Envy: I know. I'm on a sugar high right now... and I wanna learn how to crochet. And I was kidding about the political fury thing... but I will take the measures if necessary.

Wrath(manga): Have you ever considered anger management classes? 'Cause I heard that they really help with short tempers. And maybe you could do something about the eye patch. Something more... stylish, like... a flower! (laughs like a maniac)

Kimbley: Damn. Can I bribe you?

Ling: Alright. But I'll only marry you if you let me have my own private library filled with every good book known to man (and some to monkey), buy a fridge with a lock on it, and work together with me to promote world peace.

Roy: Right over... there! (points at aforementioned women)

Ed: (whispering) Short...

Winry: Ah, I see. Enjoy the book!

Hughes: Yeah, that too.

Scieszka: Is there anything you HAVEN'T read? I need some good recommendations for this summer...

Bibliophiel

**Envy: Too bad I can't teach you. Good luck.**

**Manga-Wrath: **(takes out sword) **Do you want to repeat that?**

**Kimbley: Depends. With what?**

**Ling: DONE!**

**Ed: Did you even real all of that?**

**Ling: Hmm…No **

**Ed: …You're going to make a ****fine**** Emperor one day…**

**Roy: **(runs in that direction)

**Ed: I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!!!**

**Winry: Thank you )**

**Scieszka: Well, manga are always good for most ages. I'd need your age (or age group) to recommend an appropriate book for you personally, but I do have some suggestions, if you want them.**

Im Back!

Al:  
Here! -gives Al a kitten that only Al and herself can see- There! Now Ed will never know:D

Envy:  
1.NO! You know how hard it was to get you to think I was remotely cool? You can't take it back! Not after all I went through! -sniffles- I love you! (pathetic huh?)

Dante:  
Please teach me your ways! I wanna be your apprentice!(Or whatever you wanna call it)

Barry:  
Oh I know so! And sadly I will not let you try to chop me up because I don't want you making a fool of yourself. But if it matters so much to you, then I'll meet you right where you kidnapped Winry, at dawn!

Gracia & Hohenheim:  
-Hugs you both- I'm still sorry!

Gracia and Hughes:  
I love that part when you two are hosting a B-Day party for Ed and Hughes thought you meant the tea! Hahahaha I was laughing my head off!

Elysia:  
No problem! You know what I think you would like? -hands a homemade Hello Kitty doll- I made it myself!(No duh!) I love Hello Kitty so I thought I'd make you it :D

Wrath:  
Why is Envy so mean to you? It's not very nice. Here -gives him a truck full of candy- get sugar high, then kick his butt! There is nothing worse than a sugar high Wrath.

Love you all,  
CrimsonTears2

**Ed: Except for the fact that I'm RIGHT HERE and I know all about it! Give it back, Al.**

**Al: Awww… **(hands kitten back)

**Envy: …Yeah, sorry, it's taken back. Actually, forget the sorry, it's just taken back.**

**Dante: Hmm…Sure. Oh, wait, what's your clothes size?**

**Barry The Chopper: Sure thing 3**

**Gracia & Hohenheim: It's okay!**

**Hughes: Hahaha, yeah, whoops! My bad!**

**Gracia: It wasn't the most comforting thing at the time...But it all turned out okay )**

**Elysia: Thanks so much D**

**Hughes: You're so kind! Here, let me show you some pictures as thanks…**

**Wrath: We're Homunculi. We're not ****supposed**** to be nice! But thanks anyway for the sugar ) Hmmm…what would happen if you got the manga's Wrath sugar high…?**

**Ed: Don't even ****think**** about it.**

Ed: Dang it all you people, I'm his age and guess what? I'm 5 foot 2. Ya. I'm not short I'm vertically challenged. I could rant about this forever, but I'm tired and I just got stitches at the hospital, so I'll stop. hee hee

Ed and Roy: Personally I think your relationship is soley work oriented and friends that find each other both incredibly amusing and annoying.  
Besides if the two of you get any hotter there's gonna be a fangirl war. heehee, I've got popcorn!

Personally I like Roy/Riza

Riza: What do ya say Hawkeye care to give the perv a chance?  
I'd ask you to teach me how to shoot but I'm accident prone so... bad idea.

Roy: You probably get this a lot, but you are totally HOTT.  
Just had to get that out of the way. Don't let it get to your head.O.OOne of my friends loves you, she doesn't have paper with her though so... ehem, will you (cough) Sign her bra? (cough)

Izumi: You are my idol! Hells YES!

Wrath: I use your sin most often. Let's face it; it's fun!

Hughes: Your daughter is so cute! Can I have a picture!?!?!

Envy: I don't have a problem with your clothes. And if I did your kick ass attitude totally makes up for it! Me loves! I wish I could fight like you, then again, I'd kill a lot more people if I did. (shrugs) I don't see that as a bad thing. Note: I had to get stitches for a reason people...can I have a blanket? haha I couldn't resist.

Ed: I worry for your safety. My friend absolutely adores you and has you in a chibi doll version. I'm not gonna lie, I'm scared. But she asked me to ask you, so here we go. (takes deep breath)  
Ed, WILL YOU MARRY MY TOTALLY OBSESSED FRIEND!?!?!?!  
She's gonna kill me for wording it like that. But a guy needs fair warning. Especially one as cute as you! lol She'll kill me for that too. But you are cute.

I'm a dead woman. (sigh)

I'll be back ya'll:D

Exhale Vanilla Lace

**Ed: Yeah! So there!**

**Roy: But she's a girl. So it's okay for her to be that height. You, though? I don't think so.**

**Ed: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? I SWEAR, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT ONE OF THESE DAYS!!! But back to the question. Or rather, comment. Thanks.**

**Roy: Yes, Thanks. But he ****is**** short.**

**Ed: WHY YOU-!**

**Riza: …Well, when you put it like ****that****…**

**Roy: Haha! Thanks again! Of ****course**** I'll sign her bra…Just out of curiosity, what size is she?**

**Riza: In response to your question, if he keeps acting like this, ****no**

**Izumi: Thank you.**

**Wrath: It is! No getting around it!**

**Hughes: I know, isn't she? Hmmm, that's a good idea! I should make copies and give them to people!**

**Ed: ……Oh, no……we're all doomed.**

**Envy: Thanks. But I. CAN. NOT. CROCHET.**

**Ed: Um…Thanks? Sorry but…I'm kind of too young to get married…and I don't even know her…And if you're going to die, then you really can't come back, can you?**

I'm back! -twirls around-

Roy: You leave my sister alone you pervert! -punches Roy, then huggles Hoshi-Ryuu-

Wrath: You've tasted chalk? But you can put like a ton of sugar in it! -sips some coffee-

Barry: Fine... you're crazier than me... but.. I'm still crazy... hey... when you were a kid did you ever want to buy a weapon but they wouldn't let you have it cuz you were too young?

Lust: Um... no... but... that would be something you would do... I'm not useful... and for that you would just kill me off to get what you want...-starts trying to break the Stone-

Shoushin

**Roy: OW! Why you little-  
Riza: Sorry, but (with all due respect), you kind of deserved that, sir.  
Wrath: Um, no, I haven't, but I imagine it would tastes bad, right? I still don't like the taste, even with all that sugar in it.  
Barry the Chopper: I never said that you weren't crazy...But thank you for admitting your inferiority to me! Yes, that did happen, but like how 13-year old kids can find a way to get drugs, I found a way to get what I wanted.  
Lust: ...Stop trying to break it and give it to me instead.  
Ed: No! Give it to me!**

Wrath: yes...I do know how...but...-looks at him- shut up.

Roy: -twitches- you perv...

Izumi: Was it hard to train Ed and Al to listen to you?

Hoshi-Ryuu

**Wrath: Don't tell me what to do!  
Roy: Ok, ok! Sorry!  
Izumi: Not really. they were pretty determined to learn Alchemy, so they'd usually pay attention, but they were still young children, so they'd sometimes want to go off and play, and neglect their studies. But for the most part, they listened to me whether they wanted to or not.**

HEH that's two times Scar dude you if you want to have a try to get me gone fight me like a man none of that blowing things up crap. Well I have some more questions. This is for Roy. Dude can you give me some dating tips? Now Hughes. How's the wife and kid dude. This one is for Al, Winry, Trisha, Riza, Armstrong and Havoc SUP DUDES. Well I'm done for now YO Scar two things 1 why do you glare at Ed dude is it because you're SCARED to ask him out? And 2 just for the fun of it ISHBALASALALALA! By Scar's new foe,  
Devine Spark Alchemist

**Scar: You're one to talk. Hiding behind a "computer" and insulting one's country and religion is just COWARDLY.**

**Roy: Of course! It's easier if you're just friends with the girl first. Girls love being complimented. Also, when you guys talk, find something of common interest to talk about. If you keep going on about the Red Socks and she hates baseball, it's not going to work out.**

**Hughes: They're great! Elysia has grown a lot and they're both so beautiful!! Do you wanna see some pictures??**

**All Mentioned: Hi!**

**Scar: …No. I'm not gay, and I doubt that he is either. So leave me alone before you regret it.**

Ed  
-but Ed! It's really good. I don't kill you off, I just kill a few choice people off. And anyway, you have a daughter named Nina in it.

Al  
-sometimes when people are allergic to a certain animal they love, they'll still try to get one.

Hohenheim  
-I know you wouldn't want Trisha to end up like you. Besides, did you know of her illness since you said in ep. 45 that you should have known that Ed and Al would try human alchemy?

Roy  
-any time someone tries to tell you to kiss Ed shudders, do to them what you did to Bald.

Envy  
-you do know that a woman voices you, right?

Scar  
-take a chill pill. Too much anger isn't good for your health.

Dante  
-a new stone that was used up by Al before YOU could use it.

Harryswoman

**Ed: I…have a daughter…named Nina…Dare I ask who the mother is?**

**Al: Well, yeah, I guess…But I don't see how I could be allergic to anything in this armor.**

**Hohenheim: I had a feeling about it. I'd also heard of her death, so that's how I knew, too (and from seeing the state that my sons were in).**

**Roy: I'll try.**

**Envy: …THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!!!**

**Scar: …Right…**

**Dante: Yes, thank you ****so**** much for reminding me.**

**That's all for now! I had to brave a thunder and lightning storm to get this to you, but here it is!! ) These are also all the questions I have (my e-mail is taking FOREVER, so if I didn't include yours and you sent a review after Harryswoman, then that's why). I have some homework to finish up, and that stupid National Honors Society thing tonight (I'm wearing a cool Japanese skirt 3 ), so I'll probably post again on Monday or Wednesday. Though I do have an essay to type, so maybe not. Just be patient!! )**


	36. Chapter 36

Major school-ness is pretty much over this year, minus final exams, but they're in June. So things should be chill from here on out! By the way, my history essay is awesome xD This chapter is dedicate to my friend Stephanie, who has no idea that I'm using her name in this….lmao. Also, I just wanted to alert you all to the fact that I am allergic to Envy. I swear I am. I'm not even kidding. I'll let the suspense eat at you and tell you at the end of the "letters"…… xD

_**Quick A/N Riza's question has a few more spoilers. FYI.**_

To the Amazing Author: Yeah, it really does make you want to kill him. And forgive me for being woefully ignorant, but what does "glomp" mean?

Ed: No, really? I never knew she was a girl. And I don't care if it was Hohenheim in there, here's what you should have done: Grab her face and stick you lips to hers. And I swear if you don't do that in the next five seconds, I'm coming in there to smash your lips together.

Roy: Jeez, ask her out already. And if you don't, here. 'Gives diamond engagement ring in a box to him'. Now repeat after going down on one knee after a long corny speech "Riza Hawkeye, will you marry me?"

Al: How did you and Ed become total opposites? I mean, if he's always been who you look up to, you'd think you'd try to copy him.

Winry: How and when did you get obsessed with automail? Also, if your parents had lived, do you think you would have followed in their footsteps as doctors?

Riza: Did your father have your consent when he tattooed the symbol on your back? And when did you meet Roy during your childhood?

Wrath (anime) wait no, I need that chocolate! GIVE IT BACK!

Later!

HinduGoddess 

**BakaKonekoRKL: lol. Glomp is pretty much a HUGE hug. Like a bear hug, with a cooler name. Lol. No worries; I didn't know what it meant at first either '**

**Ed: Damnit! Quit mocking me! I'll do it when I feel like it- **_**if **_**I ever even do it at all! So quit bugging me about it!**

**Roy: …No, really, that's okay. I think I can wait. **(kind of afraid of being shot)

**Al: We're not **_**total**_** opposites! I just think that the way we express ourselves is a little…different. I mean, he can go totally psycho at the smallest things-**

**Ed: Did you just call me small????**

**Al: -Er…no, Brother…and well, I try to stay calm. But we both have pretty much the same interests, and we have **_**similar**_** personalities…kind of…**

**Winry: My grandmother's an automail mechanic, so I just followed in her footsteps. I think I still would have fallen in love with automail, even with my parents were still alive, because I'd want to help Ed and Al.**

**Riza: …No, he didn't.**

**Wrath: No way!**

Hi everyone! Right now I'd torture you all in various ways but right now, I've got a serious question to ask anyone of you.

To Anyone: Bad luck has gone a muck with me lately, I've gotten (literally) burned by some idiot, keep getting slammed when I play sports, and just recently got in a car crash (I'm talking from the graveyard by the way in case you're wondering) and just have been losing energy all around. Is there anyway to turn this bad luck around...or am I cursed with this forever?

Also, Envy, when I showed my friends the character that dressed even weirder than you, one of them got the idea to switch your outfits...so congrats, you're now wearing an elegant butterfly suit from the character Papillion from Buso Renkin, and by the by, the pictures hanging up in their locker at the school so feel free to trash up the place looking for it.

From the great unknown and possibly death...

Vyser D...

Roy: You're just going to have to wait it out. You just had a really nice night with some young ladies at a dance, am I correct? Equivalent Exchange, my friend.

**Ed: I think people sometimes call stuff like this 'Karma'. Not that I believe in it but…you didn't happen to hit on someone's girlfriend, did you?**

**Riza: Probably not. He isn't the Colonel, after all.**

**Roy: Hey!**

**Riza: **(clears throat) **You could just try being calm and careful for a little while. If you have a feeling that something bad might happen, try to avoid it.**

**Envy: Your whole school is going to burst into flames very soon.**

_:JAWS theme starts to play: Beware..._

All: HA! Now that we have lured Roy away with numerous bikini- clad women, let us... PARTY:whole place turns into a disco club/ coffee shop:

Manga- Wrath: Never mind... ; :slips away:

Kimbley: Depends. What kind of stuff do you like (besides bombs)?

Ed: Teeheehee! I love it when you flip out. It reminds me of my friend. She flips out whenever I mention yaoi. X3

Scieszka: Well, I'll read just about anything... adventure, science fiction, romantic comedy, even the occasional philosophy. I'm an "early adolescent" (XP) but I can muster the will to read books like the Da Vinci Code.

Gluttony: I used to think you were evil, but you're actually really cute when you're not lunging at people in hunger. Here- :lugs gigantic chocolate cake into the room: - is a treat. And I'm ever so sorry about Lust. Don't eat me for this - : hugs Gluttony:

Hoenheim (manga): Wow. You seem like such a nice guy... I don't think of you as a monster. You're just a man with an unusual body and a dark past. :offers what little empathy she has:

Bibliophiel 

**Ed: Disco is dead.**

**Manga-Wrath: That's what I thought.**

**Kimbley: You can't go wrong with valuable things such as precious gems and Stones…**

**Ed: I'm **_**so**_** glad that this makes you happy.**

**Scieszka: Hmmm….Well, there's an author named ****Donna Jo Napoli who writes kind of twisted versions of fairy tales. There's a version of Rapunzel called "Zel" where ****Zel's love of life is corraled by her mother, who loves her daughter so much that she can't bear the thought of losing her to anyone or anything. And Mother is a Witch. There's a version of Rumplestilkson called "Spinners" where a young man makes a foolish boast so he can wed his sweetheart (with whom he has already been intimate) and steals a spinning wheel from an old woman so he can attempt to spin straw into gold. It works, but maims him, and the woman marries another. She dies in childbirth, hating the evil little man she thinks he's become, he wanders off alone, and their daughter is left to be raised by her stepfather (who thinks he's her father). The rest of the story is fairly similar to the original, with a twist here and there. There are also other versions of stories like Cinderella (which takes place in China, and the girl's mother is reincarnated as a carp-you can only imagine what happens) and "Beast", the twisted story of Beauty and the Beast. I think you'll like those, but let me know if you want any more recommendations! (she has written more books than those, too).**

**Gluttony: **(too busy eating the cake to answer)

**Hohenheim: Thank you, but you don't have to feel sorry for me.**

Roy: Do you like torturing Ed and making him mad, cause it sure looks like it. And... I hate rain too.

Riza: How's Black Hayate? Behaving well, right? I like how you use your gun to control others (Roy), wish I could do that, without a gun course...

Sakura-Moonlight 

**Roy: Of course! It's a lot of fun! **(evil smirk)

Ed: Bastard… 

**Riza: Of course he is ) You just need to be assertive, but don't push other people around too much.**

A/N this controls a bit of a crossover since I'm beginning to obsess over Blood+, my second fave anime ONLY to FMA. Go watch it. And write fanfiction about it.

Roy: What were you gonna call me?

Riza: YAY! I know what else he deserves -evil smirk, takes out a bazooka and aims it at Roy-

Wrath: Oh well... you can have this instead... -gives him a can of Mountain Dew-

Envy: -takes out a different can of Mountain Dew, takes out a pen, pokes a hole in the top of the can, puts finger on the hole, shakes it, points it at him, removes finger from the hole, suddenly pop comes shooting out of the can, and now Envy is all sticky- YAY!! Sticky palm tree!

Barry: Bunny... Did you kill the store owner or did you just plain steal the stuff you wanted?

Ed: -glares at him- There is no way in hell... I'm giving this to you...

Lust: Hmm... -looks at the Stone- you are my favorite character... so... -thinks for a few seconds- okay... -gives the Stone to her- I would run away now... cuz shrimpy and the evil body taking lady -points to Ed and Dante- want it too and they will surely take it from you...

Shoushin 

**Roy: I'm obviously not going to tell you.**

**Riza: Let's not be hasty now…**

**Wrath: Yum! Thanks!**

**Envy: - - -**

**Wrath: **(drinking Mountain Dew) **Sorry, but Envy refuses to respond. You might wanna keep an eye out for him, though…**

**Barry the Chopper: You gonna stop calling me that? And I'm not gonna tell you…Don't want those youthful minds of yours to get all corrupted now :-)**

**Ed: . Why nooot???**

**Lust: Gee, thanks.**

**Dante: Lust, as your Master, I command that you give it to me!**

**Ed: No! Don't listen to her!**

**Lust: **(considers this)

--All of a sudden, a Chiropteran from Blood+ comes in, followed by Saya and Haji. Lust, Ed and Dante get mixed up in the battle, and in a few minutes, the Chiropteran is dead. Saya and Haji thank them for their help and leave—

Ed: Now! As I was saying-! 

**Dante: Lust…Where's the Stone??**

**Lust: I believe…it got lost in that fight.**

**Ed: DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT!!!**

**Dante: **(sighs) **Guess I'll have to get someone to make another one…**

To Ed and Roy:  
I'm going to get this over with before I whimp out again... I'M SORRY! I'm sorry for going all RoyxEd fangirl all over you and trying to annoy you and calling Ed short and Roy a unicorn! Please forgive me? Please? (Puppy dog eyes)

To Winry and Rose:  
My best buddy (Who's a guy) wanted me to tell you that he thinks you're both cute and you both have gorgeous hair and wonderfully unique personalities. And he wants to give you these... (Pulls out two bouquets of flowers) Roses for Rose and Blue bonnets for Winry (Blue bonnets because we live in Texas and that's the state flower). He wants to say it matches both of your personalities

He also wants to point out that he's not like all of those crazy Ed and Roy fangirls who're like, "WILL YOU MARRY ME, YOU'RE LIKE SO HOTT!" Blah blah blah... He'll keep his distance if you ask him to.

-HisokaYukiko

Ed & Roy: Sure, fine. We forgive you. Just don't let it happen again.

**Rose: Oh, wow! They're so pretty!**

**Winry: Beautiful! Thanks so much!**

**Rose: Yeah, thanks! You sound like a really nice guy!**

**Winry: You do! Thank you!**

**Various guys (you can choose): **(jealous glares)

_More questions and comments from me!_

_Dante- I am dressing up as you for my friend's birthday, it's cosplay themed, so can I borrow one of your dresses?_

Wrath- My friend is being you for her birthday.

Winry and Russell- Winry this is Russell, he pretended to be Ed but then changed and helped him, Russell this is Winry, she's Ed's automail mechanic, now you two know each other, yay...

_Moofy-Fan_

**Dante: No.**

**Wrath: Cool :) **

**Winry: Hey!**

**Russell: Hi!**

**Both: …**

**Winry: So…uh…yeah…**

**Russell: Yeah…**

Roxie is back...  
okay Envy I have a book here it is called how to crochet so use it -gives Envy how to crochet- also why the hell out of the millions of forms that you could use would you chose a form that very much resembles a palm tree?  
Ed and Al sorry if I scared you, Perri asked me to say that  
Dante I don't give a rat's ass about going to hell because sometimes I think that I am already there  
Kimbley awesome! But before you blow up my school blow up a boy called Jayden I want him dead I want him to suffer to the last minute and I want to watch him die okay?  
Okay I will be back

_roxie-san_

**Envy: **(after taking a shower) **You can just burn that because I'm never going to use it. BECAUSE I WANTED TO, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT!?!?**

**Ed & Al: That's ok. We get that a lot.**

**Dante: Sad as that is, I DON'T CARE.**

**Kimbley: Sure thing. How much are you paying me again?**

Wadever, People.  
Roy: Denial is such a sad, sad thing... pedo. But I'm afraid I think that you and Riza DON'T go together.  
Ed: Yup. You would also look so cute in a dress.  
Al: If you were able to turn into an animal, what would it be? And I found something out about myself. If I eat large amount of chocolate at a time, I get hyper but not in the 'filled-to-the-brim-with-unused-energy' hyper but 'I-feel-like-screaming-and-smacking-somebody' hyper. What should I do?  
Winry: Miroku is 18 and Sango is 16. Kagome is 15 and InuYasha is 200+. I used to obsess over InuYasha before FullMetal Alchemist. Did you know I've got a FullMetal Alchemist shrine? Cool isn't it?  
Envy: YOU'RE BRINGING SEXY BACK! THEM OTHER HOMUNCULI DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT!  
Hohenheim: Nerd. I can't believe you understood that.  
Lurve you all!

Full Metal Rocker Roy: …I can go out with whoever I like! In fact, I have a date tonight with a woman named Stephanie! 

Havoc: She wouldn't happen to have curly brown hair and brown eyes, and always wears rose earrings…would she?

**Roy: No, that's her. Why?**

**Havoc: Stepahnieeee!!! **(crying)

Ed: - - - 

**Al: Um…sorry, but Brother refuses to speak to you at the moment. ' Um…I dunno, really…maybe a kitten:3 As for the energy thing…why don't you try combinations? Like a bunch of chocolate and then some energy drinks maybe?**

**Winry: Oh. Well, they don't always look their age. I mean, Kagome **_**really**_** doesn't look like she's 15, especially when she's…er…in a hot spring. At least, she doesn't look like any 15-year old girls that **_**I **_**know. Things like that can be misleading.**

**Ed: What the hell are you talking about?**

**Winry: You try on any dresses lately?**

**Ed: Shut up.**

**Envy: Uhm…sure?**

**Hohenheim: …I though you were ignoring me.**

Ed  
-(in sing-song voice) you just have to read it!   
-who do YOU think the mom is? (you'll still have to read it)

Al  
-why don't you just wait until you get your own place to get a cat? Then you can take care of it better.

Envy  
-call Ed a pipsqueak, I love it when you do that. 

Roy  
-if you have paperwork and Riza's not in the room, burn your papers to ashes and say you never got them.

Sloth  
-if Dante hadn't screwed your mind over, would you have wanted to take care of Ed and Al?

Harryswoman 

Ed: No. I have better things to do with my time.

**Al: **(sighs) **It looks like that's what I'm going to have to do…**

**Envy: Sure…Hey, pipsqueak!**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT…THAT…HE………WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE'S HAVING A HARD TIME THINKING OF COMEBACKS BECAUSE HE'S CALLED 'SHORT' SO MUCH!?!?**

**Envy: …**_**Nice**_** one. Pipsqueak.**

**Roy: But I'd probably get fired after a while if I did that.**

**Sloth: Hmm…perhaps…Even though they abandoned me when I was born…**

_Dear Scar,_

You little Sh# ! That cost me $600 dollars to repair! You owe me, and knowing you, you probably don't have any money on you! So I'm going to steal your clothes and sell them to rabid fangirls (Strips Scar COMPLETELY naked and runs down the street screaming, " ISHBALLAMA BITCHES!").

P.S. If you went to my school, people would probably make the "Your mama" jokes, but in your case, it would be " Your Ishbal-mama"( Another play on names, I own you bitch!).

_Teh Okamiluva_

**Scar: This has been censored to preserve the T-Rating of this fic. But it us suggested that people with a 15-mile radius of him RUN **

_Ok I for one think Ed and Roy should go out. So why won't you two? It'd be totally awesome. Also I think you are so awesome Al. When you get your human form back can I go out with you?_

DarkAngel4Life 

Ed: No.

**Roy: You're not the first to say that. We're kind of used to it.**

**Ed: Unless you say we should have sex with each other.**

**Roy: Yeah. That never fails to piss us off.**

**Ed: What is it about gay guys that girls like???**

**Al: Um…sure, I guess **

_**That's all for now! I hope you all liked this chapter; I worked late into the night on it! (it's 9:45 pm lol). Now, as to how I'm allergic to Envy…Well, my mom got a body wash called Envy (ha, get it now?) a while ago, and last break I noticed it and decided to use it, just cuz it was called Envy. And I got a rash all over me for like 3 days and I had to take a bunch of medicine that made me pass out xD So I guess Envy doesn't like me much lol. I have off on Tuesday so I'll prolly have all your questions answered that day! I've finally caught up again! ALSO if anyone lives in NYC, I'm going to the Bronx Zoo for most of the day on June 2**__**nd**__**. I'll post in my rant what I'll be wearing, in case anyone randomly feels like going to the zoo that day **_


	37. Chapter 37

Oh my gosh. I'm SO sorry about all of this! I reviewed twice from school, but I doubt anyone saw, so I'll just tell you: my computer broke. I'm SUPER sorry!!!!! ' Thank goodness for my mom's friend Jeff, who fixed it. YAAAY!! Anyway, If anyone's randomly going to the Bronx Zoo in NYC tomorrow, I left a review of what I'm wearing. I have to make a b-day card so I don't really feel like retyping it. Let's go!

Yo!  
Roy: I will not allow it. Riza SUCKS! I hate her (nothing personal though, sorry Riza). Have sex with Ed. Now. I wanna see some hot gay action! And gay guys are so hot. Pervy pedo.  
Ed: I saw this really cute picture of you in a dress and I was squealing like mad. You looked so cute.  
Al: Cool.  
Winry: I know. They don't look their ages. BTW, yes, Ed has worn a dress.  
Envy: HOW COULD YOU? I WAS BEING NICE! AND YOU JUST CAST ME ASIDE LIKE THAT? I'LL TAKE THAT SEXY BACK! 'Cause I'M bringing SEXY BACK. THEM OTHER FERS DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT WHEN I'M AROUND.  
Hohenheim: F you, dckhead. You suck.  
Havoc: squeal You are so cute! I love you! But you gotta ditch the ciggs. They totally kills it.  
Scar: I love your religious ass! You are sooo cool. Is it true that you got Rose pregnant? OMGosh!

Full Metal Rocker 

**Roy: I'd rather have sex with Riza than Ed. And now I'd better run before she and rabid yaoi fangirls try to kill me. **(takes off in random direction)

**Ed: …HOW DOES A **_**GUY**_** LOOK CUTE IN A **_**DRESS**_

**Winry: …Riiiiight…**

**Envy: …Just shut the hell up already.**

**Hohenheim: I get that a lot. It really doesn't bother me too much anymore.**

**Havoc: Thanks!! But, uh…I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon.**

**Scar: No, I did not.**

Hey again!

Ed: Hehe...hahaHAHAHAHA JUST WATCHED 'THE OTHER BROTHERS ELRIC PART 2', RUSSELS YOUNGER THAN YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, SHRIMPO!  
I was reading somewhere on a fanfic where this girl got Winry to give her automail and she said that it must have hurt you so much that it stunted your growth. I find that funny...

Roy: I found this one song that I thought suit you. -puts on 'I Feel Pretty'- That song is hilarious when Adam Sandler sings it!

Russell: You are so hott! I love you! Go out with me?

Fletcher: Aw! You are so cute! I almost cried when you got hit with the red water in 'The Other Brothers Elric Part 1'. You are so cool!

Dante: I don't usually wear dresses... My size is six though.

Hughes: Hm. Aren't you dead? The only way you could be answering stuff is if someone tried to bring you back to life... HOMUNCULUS! QUICK ELYSIA, GET AWAY FROM YOU FATHER! HE'S AN EVIL HOMUNCULUS! HE'S GONNA KILL YOU! -throws sacred sutra's at Hughes- There, he should be gone now...

Envy: Hey:) How are you? Kill any people lately? OOH LISTEN TO THIS. -hands him my iPod and puts on Grace Kelly by Mica- I love that song :).

Wrath: Hiya Wrath! I wanna be your best friend. Can I? I'll bring you to conventions and stuff, and buy you ice cream! It'll be so fun! -huggles you-

Th-th-th-th-thats all folks!! lol.

Byebye,  
CrimsonTears2

**Ed: WHY YOU LITTLE- I'm going to kill you in your sleep tonight!!!!!!**

**Al: Um…Brother? That's a little…violent, don't you think?**

**Ed: I DON'T CARE!!!**

**Roy: Um. I don't even want to know what it's about.**

**Russell: Thanks. Hm. Sure, why not?**

**Fletcher: Thanks so much!**

**Dante: Hmmm…**

**Hughes: What? No I'm not!!! Oh, and those sutra things wouldn't work on me even **_**if**_** I was a Homunculus.**

**Envy: Yeah, I have, actually.**

**Wrath: Um…Well, you can buy me ice cream ******

_I feel like torturing you all today...MUAHAHAHAHA!!  
To Ed,  
-I need a really long hug...Do you mind if I get your shirt wet?  
-I'm one of your fangirls and I figured you might want a Philosopher's Stone...BUT I don't have one...-holds one behind my back- Seriously I don't have one!!  
To Dante,  
-You're like a broken tape recorder! All you talk about is the Philosopher's Stone!  
To Pride/King Bradley,  
-Your hairy chest gives me nightmares...  
To Wrath,  
-Want some Pocky? -hands him some chocolate-covered Pocky-  
Okay now my problem. So I broke up with this guy and now he's acting like a complete JERK! He's pretending he's going to commit suicide...What should I do?_

Gothic Fangirl Ed: Uhm…ok…sure, I guess… 

**Dante: Yeah. Because it's kept me alive for hundreds of years.**

**Pride: …Do you think I care?**

**Wrath: Sure! Thanks!**

**Riza: If he's acting like that…well, you never know. You could tell a guidance counselor about it. Or if it's obvious that he's just messing with you, get your friends to defend you. Tell him to leave you alone and you're just not interested in him anymore.**

**Winry: There's always going to be guys that mess with you. You'll just learn to ignore them. That sometimes works, too.**

Hallo, FMA peoples! It's 2:40 a.m., I'm bored, hyper, and tired all at the same time, not to mention my best friend totally ditched me for two weeks, so I'm sending you a letter!

Ed: Hallo, please don't kick me. I'm wondering: How can you fly off the handle at one little, insignificant comment? I mean, really? That's anger's not good for your blood pressure, y'know.

Al: Hallo, Al! Guess what? I made it through the dissection, and I'm still breathing! I have a weird story about it, but I think it might scare you (and every other guy reading this). So, yeah. I'm alive and out of school. Though you might like to know.

Dante: I still don't like you.

Wrath: HI! ((gives cherry chocolate))

Roy: I hear people say you procrastinate a lot, but I don't know what that means and I'm too lazy to go look it up in a dictionary, so what does it mean? Oh, and I was watching ep. 37 (the one with 'Warehouse 13') and I noticed that you smacked Fuery upside the head about three times and totally reminded me of Gibbs (from NCIS), which I really don't get, cause... y'know... he's cooler than you...

Riza: Because I'm bored... I challenge you to a game of Speed! ((pulls out deck of cards)) Please don't shoot me...

Envy: I'm here to annoy you with my general existence. CROCHET ME A BLANKET, KNAVE!

All: I need advice ((shock)). Yeah, yeah, I know. That's what this column is originally for, but still. Okay, here's the deal: I have a really good friend who I've known for years now, but he lives far away and I can only contact him through instant messages. He's been getting really distant lately and not all that talkative, it's been this way for months. And he's sort of begun to sever connections (He gave me his account, which was pretty much the only thing linking us other than buddy lists/friendship). He's a really great friend, so I don't want to lose him, but I don't really know what to do, I've already tried re-establishing a connection with him, but I never seem to get that far before he was to leave. I don't want to seem over-bearing, so what do I do? Help?

Neassa-chan

Ed: Grrrrrrrr……Just…don't even speak, alright?? 

**Al: Well, I'm glad you got through it! **

**Dante: I still don't care.**

**Wrath: Yaaaaay!!! Yummy!!!**

**Roy: Procrastination is…I'll tell you later.**

**Riza: It means you put off doing things until the last minute.**

**Roy: Right. But I don't see how anyone could be cooler than me.**

**Riza: Ok. I don't usually play card games, though, so go easy on me…**

**Envy: NO!!!**

**Al: Well, you could always tell him how you feel. Maybe he doesn't realize it or something. That's probably the best solution.**

_**Ok my mom's getting mad sorry it was so short, better than nothing though, right?**_


	38. Chapter 38

Sorry the last one was so short. I hope this'll make up for it!!! The zoo was fun but REALLY hot. I guess no one randomly came since I didn't get tackled lol. Anyway, let's go.

_Questions and comments from me Al- I just saw a pic of you with short hair in a orange bandana wile typing this and, you look cool like that...yeah..._

Envy- what did do when there was only you and Dante before any of the other homunculi were created?

Wrath- you should watch Foamy the Squlel, you'll like it, and it might give you some ideasevil smirk

Ed- I like your hair better in a pony tail then in a braid, you looked so cool in the movie like that, oh and Al, your hair looks cool in a pony tail too…

Moofy-Fan 

**Al: Thanks But I don't know if I'll ever do that…**

**Envy: The same stuff I do now. Except without the others there. Sometimes just killing random people, you know.**

**Wrath: Uhhh……**

**Ed: xD Thanks!**

I'm back... and... YAY!! I love Blood+ I'm also starting to obsess over it LOL!

Riza: -glares at Roy, then puts bazooka down- Fine... I won't kill him... yet...

Wrath: Welcome umm... is Envy going to kill me now?

Barry: Fine... I'll stop... I want to know!! -whines- my brain is already corrupt though...

Lust: You lost it... oh well... easy come, easy go.

Ed: I would never give you the Stone (if I still had it) because... I don't like you that much... besides you're in 10th place in my fave character list...

Shoushin 

**Riza: Thank you. But I do appreciate your enthusiasm.**

**Wrath: Probably. You never know. You should probably get a bodyguard or something.**

**Barry the Chopper: Heh heh…sorry, kid.**

**Lust: **(sigh) **I suppose…**

**Ed: Well…so? Geeze, there aren't even that many people that you could like more than me! Wait…don't tell me you're some psychotic Dante fan or something…no wait, I'm pretty sure you hate her too…**

Dear Scar,  
I sold all your clothes, plus Roy-Ed-Scar threesome porn to all your yaoi fangirls, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

P.S. Fishballs Ishbal

Teh Okamiluva

**Scar: Listen. I don't know what your problem is, but I would appreciate it if you would stop taking it out on me. Good-bye.**

Ed  
-I don't care if you don't read it. The mother is Noa, but she cough gets killed off. Sorry. Not many people like Noa.  
-Nina looks like Noa in every way but she has your eye color.

Al  
-don't feel bad that you probably have to wait. It's probably a good thing.   
-don't let people walk all over you. If someone tries to sell you a swamp by saying that the alligators need to be saved, JUST SAY NO!

Roy  
-they won't if you don't tell them.

Sloth  
-I'm sure that if you didn't look like a mutated lump of...stuff then they wouldn't have.

Envy  
-call Ed a pipsqueak every time someone says his name, okay?

Havoc  
-if Roy steals another girlfriend, just throw water on him since he's 'useless in the rain.'

Harryswoman 

**Ed: …Well. Ok, I don't think I even **_**want**_** to know.**

**Al: Uhm…o…kay? Sure…**

**Roy: Oh, they'll figure it out. Unless I place the blame on someone else, but I wouldn't want Hawkeye to get in trouble and besides her, there's no one else I could really blame.**

**Sloth: You know, you're really asking for it.**

**Envy: …Right.**

**Havoc: Uh…he'd get pretty mad…and I don't really feel like getting fired…Well, maybe here and there wouldn't hurt…**

It's me again. Or better yet: OMG! It's that thing again!

To Marta:  
Thanks for the advice. It didn't work, but thanks anyway! My parents said I have too many pets, period. Which I think is unfair. I only have a cat, a ferret, and two turtles. Do you think that's too many?

To Hohenheim:  
I feel for you. You deserve at least someone to be on your side. You were only trying to protect your family by leaving, right? I WOULD say that Ed should learn to understand and stop picking on you, but it was just way too funny when he punched you in the face when you came back! LOL! Sorry, but it was.

To Pride/King B.:  
Your hairy chest gives me nightmares too, but despite that, you're cool. I just love those kinds of bad guys who act all nice and friendly and carefree-ish, but then they turn demonically evil and nearly impossible to defeat.

-HisokaYukiko

Marta: Well, at least you tried, right? It's not really for me to say; I know people who used to have three cats, a rabbit, two rats, fish and hermit crabs, and the only reason they're down to three different cats, a rabbit, fish and hermit crabs is because the rats, a rabbit and two of the cats died. On the other hand, they're your parents, so you've got to listen to them whether you want to or not.

**Hohenheim: Thank you. It's good to know that someone understands.**

**Pride: I don't understand what you people are talking about with my "hairy chest", but thank you for the second comment. And I never "turned" into that; that was always how I was, just **_**acting**_** nice.**

To Riza and Winry:  
-Thanks you two! The advice worked!  
To Wrath:  
--hands him Mentos and Diet Coke- Try eating both of these at the same time and see what happens! XD  
- You might want an adult to watch you or you could get hurt...  
To Pride/King Bradley:  
-Yes, I think you do.  
To Roy:  
- I know that Ed has more fangirls than you... But your fangirls wanna have a gazillion of your babies, just to let you know...

Gothic Fangirl Winry: YAY!  

**Riza: Good. I'm glad.**

**Wrath: Please, I'm a Homunculus. I can get shot and I won't die. Do you really think that'll be dangerous for me?**

**Pride: I think I feel like sticking my sword through you.**

**Roy: Well, that's comforting. Mind telling me their names?**

**Riza: **(cocks and aims gun)

Roy: …On second thought, that's ok.

BakaKonekoRKL: For those of you who want to wait, this has spoilers for chapter 71. And to HinduGoddess…Damn you, woman!!! Reading it online is so addicting! . xD

_Hey, I'm back to torture you all!_

Ed: You're really horrible with crying girls, aren't you? And why the hell did you wait for now to tell Winry about what the hell was going on in your life?

Riza: Who got you into guns? And not to be personal, but how old are you and Roy? And any idea what you're going to do about Pride?

Winry: So now you know. I loved your face when you made them let you come along. But how are you going to help fight? Any ideas?

Roy: So, what are you going to do with all those flowers? Give them to Riza, she'll like them.

Alphonse: Why do you normally listen to your brother anyway? I mean, a year isn't much of a difference, yet you kind of act like he's six years older. You're fifteen, that is the time to really get your brother ticked and have fun with it.

HinduGoddess 

**Ed: Yes, thank you so much for pointing that out. Um, because I didn't want her to get too involved with things so she wouldn't get hurt, kidnapped, held hostage or something like that.**

**Winry: Yeah. That worked out real well.**

**Riza: Myself. I've always been a bit of a tomboy, so when the girls would be inside playing with their dolls, I'd be outside in a squirt gun war with the boys. I don't think **_**I**_** should tell you the Colonel's real age (though you can find it somewhere online), but let's just say he's in his late twenties, and I'm about half a year younger than him. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do about Pride, but I hope I'll be able to think of something.**

**Winry: Thank you Um…I dunno…There's always my wrench! XD**

**Roy: That…or I could sell them to my rabid fangirls and get hundreds of dollars for them just because I've touched them.**

**Al: Well…he **_**is**_** older, even if it's not by much. I don't know; even as kids, he always acted like the leader and I'd always follow him. Not always without question, but I usually agree with him on most things.**

Hey! Sorry to all the others, but I'm dedicating this one to Al.  
Al: How do you feel about this song by Stephen Lynch?  
When the game of life makes you feel like quitting, it helps a lot if you, kill a kitten;  
Mark my words cause from were I'm sitting, you can't go wrong if you, kill a kitten;  
There's no crime that you'll be committing, I know the law you can, kill a kitten;  
And if you need yarn for that scarf you're knitting, you'll get plenty if you, kill a kitten;  
Feed it turpin-tine or break its spine,  
Crush it with your shoe as long as you,  
Kill a kitten;  
If the one you love isn't quite as sh-mitting, she'll like you more if you, kill a kitten;  
And I quote the bible cause that's where it's written "If ye loveth Jesus ye must kill a kitten";  
Flush him down the can,  
Hit him with your van,  
Throw him at a train,  
Make him snort cocaine,  
Drown him in a lake,  
Bake a kitty cake,  
Stick some TNT up his cat booty,  
Do what you must do as long as you,  
Kill a kitten;  
Killing kittens isn't easy,  
If the thought makes you feel queasy,  
Grab a pitchfork from the shed  
and kill a puppy dog instead;  
Kill a kitten (x3);  
Fluffy kitten;  
You gotta kill a kitten,  
Kill a kitten;  
Meow

Full Metal Rocker 

Al: 0o That's _terrible_!!! Who would possibly write something like that?!? What's wrong with kittens? They're so cute; how could anyone want to kill one!? (keeps on rambling)

Ed: Uh…I think he's gone into some kind of shock or something. I wouldn't recommend doing this again.

_Wow, it's been awhile since I've been in here._

To Envy: Hey! It seems as though you've calmed down a little. No more yelling and screaming? Good for you!! XD Oh, and I crochet a blanket for you. -gives blanket- You don't gotta keep it, you can cut/rip it into individual pieces and give them to the girls who want one from you. There, problem solved for you!! XD

All: I have a problem -GASP- I have a friend who seems to be distancing herself from me. When we first met we hung out all the time, but then she started talking to a group of girls who don't seem to like me. Ever since she met them she never hung out with me again. We still talk but it's only a 'hey' or a wave or something. I want to talk to her about it but I'm afraid that if I do then I'll only be killing our friendship. I blame it on those girls since it seems that they're the ones making her not talk to me anymore but I also don't want to blame them since I'm not really sure if it's them or not. Any advice? Please?

_Sweetkittens_

Envy: Right. Well thanks; I guess that solves that problem.

Winry: You could always see if she wants to do something with you again. Maybe see a movie, or get a bunch of friends together and go bowling. You know, something like that where you can get together and catch up. It's also a good idea to talk to her, even if you're afraid your friendship may be ruined. After all, it might help, but if it made it worse, there's always chances like that in life. But don't mention the other girls; just say that you're worried about your friendship and stuff. I'm sure you'll do fine

_That's all the reviews I have for now! Yay, I caught up again! Actually, I was on this site during Biology today (see my LiveJournal for details) and I did stuff I don't usually do at home- such as editing my profile and checking my stats. Prior to this, I though no one faved me and, while I do get many reviews on my stories, though that no one really liked all my work all that much. But I was wrong. So thanks to everyone who reads and supports me, because it helped me get out of my depressed mood :) Till next time!_


	39. Chapter 39

Well, I'm beginning to type this in the early morning, but I'll Prolly finish sometime in the afternoon. So if my responses change after a little bit…that's why lol. Also I'm in a slightly less depressed mood today. I can't remember what I said in my last rant, but if it was along the lines of "nobody likes me waah", just ignore it. Thanks :D

More questions and comments, ok, I just went to Hershey Park with all my friends and it's a 2-hour drive and I am so tired.

Al- Me and my friends made each other names and we always call each other by them, I'm Weevil, my one other friend is Mako, my friend that gave you all names, is Shadi, and my two other friends' names are Rex and Tristen we are all girls XD but now, whenever I talk about them, I use the fake names, and that can really confuse my mom, how do I separate reality from fiction? And when in a movie, it's always the old or evil people who have cats, why is that?

Ed- I look at my window and everything is YELLOW! I think I got too much chlorine in my eyes, how do I make it stop? It's freaking me out!

Moofy-Fan 

**Al: Well, you could always explain to your mom who is who. You could also use their real names around her and use your nicknames just with your friends. I'm not too sure about the cat thing, but maybe it's because petting cats is supposed to relax a person, and older people need that. And I guess villains need that too.**

**Ed: First of all, CALM DOWN. Secondly, you could try flushing your eyes out with water. But it should probably go away soon anyway.**

Riza: Welcome... and thanks... -plots Roy's death-

Wrath: Bodyguard? Pft... I'll just use my evil minion... -holds up a little sun conure-

Barry: -glares- You're not sorry...

Lust: Don't be disappointed, you are technically human in the movie... well... it's the other side you... but still...

Ed: Hell no... Dante is on my hate list... I'm a homunculi fan... so ha!

Shoushin 

**Riza: I'm taking it that he's on your hate list along with this Dante woman? Please don't be too hard on him.**

**Wrath: Okey. Whatever you wanna do.**

**Barry The Chopper: ... You're right:D**

**Lust: Thank you. That makes me feel **_**so**_** much better.**

**Ed: But there are only seven of them…so who are the others that rank better than me? Don't tell me it's that bastard of a father of mine!**

Roy- he's cooler than you because you are hot. See? It saves face for all parties involved! Too tired to be my usual rabid yaoi fangirl self. Probably a good thing.

Alykat2007 

Roy: Hmm. I guess that works. As long as we agree that being hot is better than being cool.

**Ed: No way!**

**Roy: I think it is.**

**Ed: I think you're an asshole.**

Dear Scar,

You're right, I'm sorry. I haven't beaten anyone in power in such a long time that I guess I took it out on you, and again, I'm sorry.

But I still disagree with you about religion.

Teh Okamiluva

Scar: That's ok. I'm not trying to convert you or anything, and I'm assuming that you're not a State Alchemist, so it's okay if we don't see eye to eye. As long as you don't take it out on me and this never happens again.

Yo, it's me!

Ms Authoress, don't damn me, I read online for all the manga I read nowadays. Not to mention it's a lot faster that way.

Ed: Here are some tips on girls (Or Winry in this case). Whatever you do, don't do what you did to Psiren. The last thing a girl wants is a pervert. And on second thought, you don't need any more tips, as both of you have admitted your love for each other in the canon.

Winry: Hey, where did the wrench come from anyway? It seems to have a history behind it. Also, before you had the wrench, what did you hit Ed with?

Izumi: Um, where did you get the enormous strength from? It's almost like Tsunade's (You know, from Naruto). And also, who taught you Alchemy in the books?

Later!

HinduGoddess 

**BakaKonekoRKL: Sorry. I'm often sarcastic and such, so I was really only kidding. Sorry if it upset you in any way. I was just teasing since you've gotten me semi-addicted to it lol. So please don't be angry '**

**Ed: Um, thanks. But that was just an accident so I don't really need to worry about that. But thanks anyway.**

**Winry: Do you mean historically in the world or just in my life? Because if you just mean in my life, well, pretty much Ed was bugging me one day and I picked up the nearest object and threw it at him. We were young, and being as we were in my grandmother's workshop, that object happened to be a wrench. I kind of grew attached to it after that. Plus I'd usually have a wrench on me anyway for automail maintenance and stuff. Before then, I'd just kind of hit him and stuff.**

**Ed: You also threw rocks at me.**

**Winry: Oh yeah! That may explain a few things…**

**Izumi: I don't know about "Tsunade", but I just train a lot in my free time. I was involved in martial arts as a child and continue to study today. (I'm assuming this is manga-verse but just in case it isn't, the answer is Dante). I've had several different senseis since my youth, so I can't remember all of their names. Sorry.**

It's me again! Dun, dun, dun!

To Marta:  
I don't think of them as my parents (I'm adopted). Once I'm on my own, I'm getting me a snake, a dog, a monkey, etc. Not all at the same time, of course.

You should see my website I dedicated to all my pets! It's freewebs dot com slash thepetsinmylife. Just tell me what you think.

To Pride/King B.:  
At some point in the last two or so episodes you and Horse-boy were fighting in your basement and your shirt got ripped off. That was just really... creepy looking... (O.o)

To Havoc:  
(Slaps upside the head) Give up the smokes or you'll die by the age of thirty! This is the reason you don't get girls! It's like kissing an ash tray!

To Scar:  
If you hadn't killed me, I wouldn't be doing what I am about to do...

FISHBALALAMALAMA!

-HisokaYukiko

**Marta: Well…um, good luck with that. Especially the monkey. Isn't that illegal? But if you do, just know that many more monkeys will probably die just so you can get that one. **(A/N Something I learned from my trip to the Bronx Zoo…lol)**. Your pet page is very nice- it's great that you appreciate them so much that you made a webpage just for them.**

Pride: That's no reason for you to stare at it. If it bothers you so much, look away.

**Roy: Hey! Don't call me that!**

**Havoc: Uh. Just for the record, I don't usually actually smoke them. I usually just let unlit ones hang in my mouth and stuff.**

**Scar: Not another one…**

_Tra-la-la! I'm back!_

Ed:  
tsk tsk tsk, you don't have to KILL me! I mean I just called you short. OMG YOU LOVE ROY AND_ ENVY! I have this picture that says 'Unwanted fantasies, another sign of hunger, next time grab a Snickers' and you were making out with both Roy and Envy! Lovers!_

Russell:  
Yay! -huggles you- I wuv you :). You are so awesome and kind in the episodes that you're in!

Hughes:  
I'm sorry. Oh and are you saying that my sacred sutras are no good? For shame! Can I see pictures of Elysia? hehe I seen a pic of you and it said 'Roy is mine'. How does that make you feel? More importantly, how does it make your wife feel?

Gracia:  
How does it make you feel to know that your husband is a Roy loving homunculus?

Envy:  
That's great! Killing people is always fun! Here have some yummy sour keys!

Wrath:  
Of course! What kind would you like? -shows a big list of different ice cream- then I could take you to a fair :)!.

P.S. Just for the sake of saying this, I have just recently joined the Risembool Rangers! You will perish Miniskirt Army! Also, I have just got an email from the one and only... Vic Mignogna! I'm all giddy and happy now!

Love you all!,  
CrimsonTears2

Ed: THAT'S A GOOD REASON TO KILL YOU!!! AND I'M NOT GAY!!! HOW COULD I MAKE OUT WITH TWO PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME??! WHAT THE HELL IS A "SNICKERS"!?!?!

**Russell: Thanks.**

**Hughes: …I'm not so sure I should be showing her pictures to someone like **_**you**_**…**

**Roy: In case you can't tell, it's REALLY hard for him to resist. Oh, and he's MARRIED!**

**Hughes: Yes! Very happily, I might add!**

**Gracia: …I'm sorry, he's a what now?**

**Envy: Thanks, but you can keep the keys.**

**Wrath: Uhhhhhhhhhh……I've never had ice cream before. You pick.**

Dear...well...everyone:  
I watched a movie a couple weeks ago (I won't say what it is, just in case someone likes it) and it was a decent movie. It had a better plotline then I expected and decent character arcs...but the humor (it's suppose to be this really super-funny satire) was rather un-funny to me, not to mention a bit annoying in some cases. Unfortunately, ever since I watched this movie, it's like I half memorized it. Quotes, images, even entire freakin' scenes...they'll play in my head without notice. I've crammed my head full of all sorts of other stuff (including a weekend-long FullMetal Alchemist marathon, in which I watched every episode and came to the conclusion that there is only one character among you I don't love on one level or another, I'd rather not say who.) But it doesn't help. Without warning I'll just see an entire sequence, or hear one of the monologues from the end...any thoughts?  
Friendly Fangirl

P.S., don't worry, the one I don't love is someone I don't think any of you are terribly fond of ether. Have fun guessing who, and I'll have more questions another time!

FriendlyFangirl88 

**Ed: Don't worry, it'll go away soon enough. Just watch a lot of TV and listen to a lot of music and read a lot.**

**Al: Why don't you try learning a play or something? That way, instead of having quotes from the movie in your head, you'll think "****Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones: So let it be with Caesar."** (A/N Sorry. We just finished Julius Caesar in English ')**. Or maybe, "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?".**

**Ed: Yeah…Anyway, who is this person that you hate?**

**Al: If it's someone we don't like, then it's probably Dante.**

**Roy: The Fuhrer.**

**Ed: That bastard!**

**Al: You mean dad.**

**Ed: Same thing!**

**Envy: I agree with the pipsqueak.**

**Ed: HEY!**

**Winry: What's this turning into; a poll or something?**

To Pride:  
- MEANIE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE THAT WEIRD FUHRER FUNNY GUY!!  
To Wrath:  
--watches carefully- C'mon! Drink the Coke and eat the Mentos already!  
To Ed:  
--huggles- Oh! And other fangirls are coming from over... there! -points some random direction-  
To Roy:  
--points to some HUGE house- All your fangirls are in there, waiting for you...Can you notice how big that house is?

Gothic Fangirl 

**Pride: Sorry to disappoint you, but I was just faking it. Just kidding; I'm not sorry at all!**

**Wrath: Why do you want me to hurry up so badly, huh? I'm not doing it now.**

**Ed: Oh crap! **(runs in opposite direction)

**Roy: Of course! I definitely have more fangirls than FullMetal!**

**Ed: …My fangirls can't even fit in a house. That's why they have to chase after me.**

Envy and Ed, if you were handcuffed together for a week (no keys, Lust can't cut it, you know the drill) what would you do?

Envy, how old were "you" when "you" died and were resurrected? What were "you" like during "your" high school years? (this is gonna be good.)

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite (or just Hilaria if you prefer)

Ed & Envy: Kill myself. Probably shoot myself in the face or something.

**Envy: An infant. I guess that pretty much screws up the rest of your question, huh? :D**

Well, that's all for today! I'm in SUCH a better mood than last time, know why? Finals are next week, and since I miraculously maintained an A average in algebra, I don't have to take that exam!!! So now I'm really happy. So I hope you're all happy with this column :) ALSO, if anyone's going to an anime convention called AnimeNEXT, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!! I'll be there all 3 days and I'd love to meet you (AND, even though I don't have an artist alley table, I'd be glad to sell you an anime patch for a discounted price since I kinda know you ), so just lemme know!


	40. Chapter 40

I love how when I put a column up, about an hour later I have a TON of e-mail from it already! And yet the number of hits has gone down drastically since the first chapter…Ah well, I guess that's to be expected

I'm back… 

Wrath: You're awesome. I love how you're able to use Alchemy.

Russell: You're rockin.

Roy: ...Go jump in a pool...

Hoshi-Ryuu 

**Wrath: Heh. Thanks.**

**Russell: Like he said, thanks.**

**Roy: Now why would I do that?**

Yeah, it's me. No weird intro this time... DONUTS!

To Ed and Al:  
I think you guys should watch one of my favorite animes, 'Oban Star Racers'. You both could relate to the main character a LOT. She's very similar and is in a lot of the same situations as you guys. Seriously, it's worth your watch.

To Havoc:  
Seriously. You're cute, but if you put cigarettes in your mouth, it's always gonna be like kissing an ash tray.

To... ALL THE HOMUNCULI:  
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

-HisokaYukiko

**Ed: "Donuts" is a pretty weird intro, if you ask me. And uh, yeah, we don't exactly have the time to be watching stuff like that. Sorry.**

**Havoc: Ok, ok, fine. I'll quit. (Or at least try to).**

**Homunculi: A **_**what**_

_Hi!_

I know it may not have seemed like it, but the last few times I reviewed I was actually very upset. School has been very rough, my teacher keeps getting mad at me, and my bird died. But luckily I'm in a good mood!

Ed:  
1. Just to clear the air, you have WAY more fans the Col. Deadbeat! (Sorry Roy, I just don't like you much anymore!) Oh and I'm making a poll about that and then I'll tell you the results!  
2. Haha, me and my friends always make up funny names for each other and my State Alchemist name is the Bubble Wrap Alchemist, hahaha! You like?

Hughes:  
Oh come on! I was kidding. Whatever though, I guess if your going to act all mean and stuff then I'll just never ask to see pics again. Oh and a warning, my friends wanted to see pics too but I'll just have to tell them not to ask.

Envy:  
I heard a song called 'I Owe it All to You' and I decided that being a fan of you is the reason of my hyper crazy-ness. So Envy, I owe my crazy-ness ALL TO YOU!

Wrath:  
You seem like a chocolate ice-cream person. Hear! -buys you a chocolate ice-cream cone-

I just want you all to know that I am changing my username to 'The Bubble Wrap Alchemist'! Just a heads-up so nobody gets confused!

Sincerely,  
CrimsonTears2 (next time I write, it will be _The Bubble Wrap Alchemist!)_

**Winry: I'm sorry! Don't worry, school will be out soon, at least.**

**Ed: Thank you. I already know I'm going to win. I mean, I'm running against Mustang; of course I'm gonna win! Nice name, by the way. But your State Alchemist name is sorta supposed to describe your abilities…**

Hughes: …Oh, well…if you were just kidding, then I'd love to show you some pictures! Invite your friends over, too.

**Envy: …I'm **_**so**_** glad.**

**Wrath: YUM **(eats ice cream) **ARGH! BRAIN FREEZE!!**

To Ed:  
- In case you haven't noticed, I'm still holding onto you...  
To Roy:  
- ED IS WAY HOTTER AND SMEXYER THAN YOU!!  
- If you can't hear any sound in that house, it's because... -pushes you inside- THEY'RE GONNA POUNCE ON YOU AND...Eww...  
To Wrath:  
- Hurry up or else I'm gonna force you to do it! I know you have fangirls too!!

Gothic Fangirl 

**Ed: …DAMNIT, WOMAN, LET GO!!**

**Roy: **(accidentally gets locked in the house)

Al: Um…That can't be good.

**Ed: Just leave him.**

**Wrath: YOU CAN'T FORCE ME TO!!! I'm not afraid of a bunch of girls!!!**

Riza: No he's not... I just like hurting him ... he's #14 on my fave list, you're #11... sorry that you're after Ed... but it was so hard to choose... 

Wrath: ... -gives Wrath a plate of cookies- I felt like giving these to you...

Barry: -glares some more- I hate you...

Lust: ... are you being sarcastic or no... I can't tell... -ish too hyper from coffee, and can't think straight-

Ed: Actually... HoHo-Pa is on my hate list... -holds up piece of paper- this is the list of my top 10 faves... -on paper: 1. Lust, 2. Wrath, 3. Scar, 4. Envy, 5. Sloth, 6. Hughes Family, 7. Nina, 8. Trisha, 9. Al, 10. Ed- Now you know who I like more than you...

Shoushin 

Riza: That's okay, I don't mind.

**Wrath: Yay!!**

**Barry: …Can I chop you up?**

**Lust: …Just forget I said anything.**

**Ed: …YOU CAN'T COUNT THE HUGHES' FAMILY AS ONE PERSON!!!! That's cheating. And anyway, how can you like people who murder just for the fun of it or whatever more than me!?!?**

To Al: First of all. You're awesome! Second of all I applaud you for making sure your vertically challenged brother is still alive.

To Winry: Why don't you just stop hitting Ed over the head with a wrench and tell him you love him already?

To Havoc: You're awesome!

To Roy: Stop flirting with every girl you see (and Ed) and get with Riza already! And why did you kill Winry's parents? Yea you were ordered to, but is that the only reason?

Ok that's it for now.

Haley07 

Al: Thanks! It's pretty hard to keep Brother out of trouble, but I'm glad he's safe.

**Ed: HEY!!**

**Winry: **(blushes) **Um, no.**

**Havoc: Thanks!**

**Roy: I'll get right on that. It was only because I was ordered to; I almost didn't go through with it, actually. That's why I'm going to become Fuhrer; so I don't ever have to go through with any irrational order again.**

More questions and Comments from me, Russell, What would you do if a Venus fly trap ate your shoes?

Al- My friend and I are kinda planning to do some graffiti on this BIG EMPTY WALL, NO WINDOWS, A FIELD LONG, RIGHT NEXT TO MY HOUSE! But, I'm scared, were gonna do it SOMEDAY, most likely not anytime soon, what should I do to prepare, and none of that stupid graffiti either, we mean the kind that is like art.

Wrath-Yo mah hommie G, what's shaken down in da hood, mah homey skillet bisket!

Moofy-Fan 

**Russell: Um…get new shoes?**

**Al: Well…I don't know anything about that kind of stuff…But I'd imagine that you'd have to get a lot of spray paint and plan out what you want to draw/write on the wall…good luck!**

**Wrath: …**(stabs nearest random object)

Here are some questions

Roy- when you become Fuhrer will you propose to Riza??

Ed- I have a bestest friend who looks just like you! And I kinda started calling him Ed... ...oh anyways my sister is IN love with you and Mokuba from YuGi-Oh...she says hi

Riza- You're so flippin cool! I cosplayed as you! Oh and truth or dare?

Lust- I have an Oroborus tattoo wear you have yours!

Al- my other sister is a completely psychotic over you and I mean crazy over you. She has signs all over her door saying "I LOVE ALPHONSE ELRIC" and whenever someone says your name she goes nuts!

Ed- we should hook Al and my sister Tessa up so then we'd be related!

_love.addiction_

**Roy: Depending if she's still willing to shoot me or not.**

**Ed: …That's weird. Who's this "Mokuba" kid, huh? And what the hell is a YuGi-Oh?**

**Riza: Thank you. Dare.**

**Lust: …Why?**

**Al: Um…Ok…I'm glad I have such a big fan.**

**Ed: I don't think I want to put my little brother through that kind of torture. No offense, but I know how fangirls are. **(shudders)

Al- Thanks for the advice, though I already know half of both of both of the monologues you mentioned and I've read through most of "The Tempest" since watching this movie. It didn't help. Which reminds me...did you know you have some pretty good monologues yourself? I want to do the one when you were reunited with Ed at the end of the movie for my drama class sometime. Only problem is, I don't think I'll be in a class with a format that's free enough for that any time soon. Any thoughts on this one?

Oh, as for the rest of you, you're ALL WRONG! HAHAHA! ...though...now that I think about it, Dante's more a curiosity to me then a lovable character. I don't know if the character I actually don't love (read: Hate) is there among you answering these as I haven't read the entire story but...

Also, does anyone have any ideas on what I should do now that I'm graduating high school and, despite having the next several years of my life planned, don't want to leave? 

Thanks. Love (most of) you all.

FriendlyFangirl88 

**Al: Oh. Well, thanks You could always suggest a more free monologue format to a teacher, or ask if you could do something like that. Well, about the movie, it should be out of your head in no time **

**Ed: Really. It's okay if you tell us.**

**Winry: Take lots of pictures, and make many memories. Try to stay in touch with as many of your friends as possible for as long as possible, and try to do stuff together whenever you can. If someone moves far away, e-mail them every day and try to get together a lot. But it's okay, because "moving forward is the only thing that makes sense".**

Yeah, it's agreed that hot is better than cool. By the way, I have an FMA calendar in my room and the current pic has Ed and Al in a jungle. You're both adorable!

Alykat2007 

**Roy: See?**

**Ed: I'm still better than you.**

**Roy: No, you're not.**

**Ed: YES I AM!!!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Me too!! I also have a Furuba one with Kyo punching a bear, an InuYasha one with Naraku and Kikyo, and a Naruto one with the 4****th**** Hokage, Iruka and Kakashi. And my sister has the same four! …Just in case you were wondering lol.**

That's all for now! I got free bagels yesterday xDDDDD And I'm going to a Carnival tonight!! I wonder if I'll see Wrath and The Bubble Wrath Alchemist there….., Heehee! Next week is finals, so I'll probably post more towards the end of the week since I'll only have half days and I'll have to study in the beginning of the week. Have a great weekend, everyone!


	41. Chapter 41

Today I had my Biology and History finals, and I should really be studying for English, but considering we got out at 12 today, I decided to type this up before I did that. Since I promised. Aren't I wonderful :D

Riza: You don't mind... YAY!! -hugs her- I thought you'd glare at me or something! But I'm glad you didn't!

Wrath: Enjoy the cookies! 

Barry: ...um... no... but I remember that you wanted to cut up Ed... so... -grabs Hoshi-Ryuu, and uses her as a human shield- she looks like Ed...so... CUT HER UP!!

Lust: I can't... cuz you just said something...

Ed: Yes I can! I can't choose between them... so I counted them like that since they're a family... so HA! -coughs- Well... if you haven't noticed... I'm crazy and evil... so it's natural for me to like evil people... but in this case... I like their personalities. Because I'm very bored right now... prepare to face the evil milk... -holds up bucket of milk, and dumps it on Ed's head-

Shoushin 

**Riza: …Please don't hug me. Thank you.**

**Wrath: I will **

**Barry The Chopper: You betray your friends real quick, don't you? …I think I like you. But I still want to chop you up :-)**

**Lust: Never. Mind.**

**Ed: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!? Now I need to go wash this disgusting…**_**stuff**_** off!!!**

_To Ed:  
-Fine! But if I let go you promise me a kiss!  
-Oh and PINKY PROMISE!!  
To Roy:  
--flings keys to the window--bounces off the glass- Oh that can't be good...  
To Wrath:  
-They can do things you WILL NEVER FIND IN YOUR LIFE...BEWARE!!  
To Winry:  
-Stop hitting Ed! YOU'RE probably the reason why Ed's so (No offence Ed) short!  
To Al:  
-HELP ROY BREAK OUT OF THERE!! -bangs on the door-_

Gothic Fangirl 

**Ed: How about no?**

**Wrath: Uhh…kay?**

**Winry: No! He just doesn't drink milk!**

**Ed: Why would I want to drink that CRAP? AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MIDGET SO TINY THAT HIS FEET CAN'T REACH THE FLOOR WHEN HE SITS IN A CHAIR INTENDED FOR CHILDREN!?!?**

**Winry: …Calm down!**

**Al: Um…Maybe you shouldn't have locked him in there in the first place? Uh, but I'll try!!**

_More questions and comments from me, Al my friend said thanks, and good luck to you with the whole saving the world thing._

Ed- I GOT A BOOK! It looks so cool, it's called The Alchemist, The Secret of the Immortal Nicholas Flatel, in it I think he is immortal with his wife, by used the elixir of life, sounds like someone familiar, hm Ed, like your old man maybe?

Roy- um, I MA GONNA EAT JO! throws a large melon at your head

Moofy-Fan 

**Al: Thanks! Wait…what about saving the world?**

**Ed: GOOD. Read it. Maybe you'll learn something new. AND THAT WASN'T MY STUPID FATHER!!!**

**Roy: **(dodges melon) **Are you alright?**

It's me again... WITH REAL DONUTS!

To Ed:  
1. Too bad you can't watch it.  
2. I read a short fanfic where you get to hide in the bushes and throw jelly-filled donuts at Mustang. LOL! You should have thought of that in the anime!

To The Homunculi:  
LOL! You guys don't know what a Klondike bar is! I can talk about it nonstop and you still won't have any idea what I'm talking about! HAHA!

-HisokaYukiko

**Ed: Yeah. Real shame, huh? Maybe I'll do that later, actually…**

**Wrath: EITHER TELL US OR DON'T MENTION IT AT ALL!!!**

**Envy: You humans really are stupid.**

I ish back!

Ed:  
So, what. Having a FullMetal arm is your ability? Nuh uh it ain't! And anyways, it kinda does because I'm bubbly and I like to rap. It also dates back to a bubbly rappy day when I used my bubbliness to make the best bubbly rap ever! So it is my ability! HAHAHAHA! Pickles will take over your mind! For pickles are my minions...

Hughes:  
:D That's what I thought! My friends and I would LOVE to see pictures! Hehe I found this picture that says 'Who's sexier? You choose!' and it has you and Roy. Personally, I think you're hotter...

Envy:  
I knew you would be glad! Envy? Did you know you rock? I know... My toothbrush army likes you too.

Russell:  
I'm sad... Can you cheer me up:(

Sincerely,  
The Bubble Wrap Alchemist.

**Ed: Well, no, it's not my **_**ability**_**, per say; maybe I said it wrong. What I meant is that it's given to you depending on your talents. And mine is FullMetal. **(A/N You have no idea how long it took me to find the exact sentence that Mustang said that in. It's a good thing I got out of school early! Lol) **But now that you explained it more, I guess it makes sense.**

**Hughes: Why, thank you. xD**

**Envy: I know. And what the hell do you mean, your **_**Toothbrush Army**_

**Russell: Um…Don't worry…it's not as bad as you think?**

**Ed: you really suck at that.**

**Russell: Like you could do any better, shrimpy!**

**Ed: **_**What did you call me?**_

**Russell: Yeah, you heard me!**

**Ed: **(throws nearest random object at Russell's head)

**Al: Brother! Calm down!**

Hughes: Did you ever want to be a photographer?gives Hughes a camera

Gracia: Is it annoying having to pose for a picture every time Hughes wants to take a picture of you?

To Ed and Roy: Al has more fangirls then both of you!

Haley07 

**Hughes: Well, you may not know this, but I've always enjoyed photography and taking pictures in my spare time. Thanks, I needed a new one!**

**Gracia: Not at all; most of the time I won't even get the chance to "pose", because he takes so many and he takes them so quickly.**

**Ed & Roy: Yeah right.**

Today I need opinions on clothes. I am going to a party that isn't really a party, just me and my friends hanging out at someone's house. My mom is insisting that I wear something "dressier" than jeans and a tank top. Any opinions?

And I'm dressing up as Haku from Naruto for Halloween. It's a long way away, but you can never prepare too much! Any input? (Here's a safeguard answer to the "what's Naruto" question: Naruto's an awesome anime second only to FMA and Furuba.)

Oh, and is it pathetic that I'm going to anime characters for fashion advice or what? (At least this one is semi-realistic. I guess characters from other fandoms would have some UNUSUAL ideas...I would kill myself before I wore Naruto's orange jumpsuit in public.)

XD HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite (Hilaria)

P.S. authoress welcome to respond.

**Winry: If that's all you're doing, you should explain that to your mom. What does she expect you to wear, a prom dress?**

**Riza: You could try wearing pretty jeans, with embroidery and/or sequences on them, and maybe a shirt with a pretty design on it.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: I don't know much about fashion (ok, I do, I just choose to ignore it), and what I think looks good is probably different from what you like, but I like to wear pants and then a short-ish skirt over them. That looks really cool, and you don't have to go through the uncomfortable that sometimes accompanies wearing a skirt.**

**Al: Get everything in advance. Don't wait until the last minute, because you probably won't have a backup plan if you can't get what you need and you'll also be very disappointed.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Actually…they have shirts that look like that in Hot Topic…or they did, anyway.**

Ed: People come to us with questions about their friends, love lives, and science experiments. Asking us about what clothes to wear isn't all that out of the ordinary.

Ello. I'm back. 

Roy: Because...I don't know..

Wrath: Do you wanna join me in taunting Ed?

Hoshi-Ryuu 

**Roy: …**

**Wrath: Sure!!**

I have a few questions for the FMA characters, but first I have one thing to say. COL. ROY MUSTANG IS THE BEST CHARACTER EVER! Sorry about that but I wanted to get that through Ed's tiny little brain :p Heck I even asked my friends, who know nothing about FMA, who they thought was the coolest and they all said Roy. Anyway...

1. Envy why are you so angry with Ed? It's not his fault what his stupid father did.

2. Ed sorry about the "tiny little brain" comment you're my second favorite character, but anyway way do you hate Roy so much? And don't give me that stupid "because he's a bastard!" thing.

3. Izumi if you could would you adopt the Elric brothers?

4. Al I know you love al kittens but which breed is your favorite?

5. Roy hugs Roy when Ed's being annoying why don't you just pull rank and tell him to shut up? Also if I take Riza's gun away would you give her a hug? takes Riza's gun away

6. Riza, sorry for taking your gun, but could slap Roy next time he's procrastinating for me? D

Well that's it for now. Bye-Bye!

From: I'm not telling you my name! 

**Ed: If they don't know who we are, then their vote can't really mean anything!!**

**Envy: First of all, because he looks like that bastard and looking at him reminds me of him. And secondly, that bastard abandoned me, yet he loved those stupid brothers and his stupid wife.**

**Ed: …Because he likes to torture me and he's cocky and arrogant.**

**Izumi: …I really don't think I could deal with them.**

**Ed: Yeah…anyway, we'd get beat up too much.**

**Izumi: ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT I'M ABUSIVE!?**

**Ed: N-No!! Of course not!!!**

**Al: Uhmmm…I like them all!! '**

**Roy: Hmm…Because I don't feel like it? She has more weapons than her guns, you know. She could just punch me.**

**Riza: He's not stupid enough to touch me. And I would, only he's my superior, and it's easier to scare him into doing it.**

Hello! Hee hee, I get to talk to the FMA Cast. Neat! So I've got a few things to say and ask.

Ed  
1. I'm in love with you! Seriously!  
2. There is nothing wrong with being short. (Not saying you ARE short) I'm 5'2" and I'm just as happy as the tallest of them.  
3. I applaud you for staying sane even after all you've gone through.

Al  
1. You're so cute! So I'm gonna give you this present. Though you probably shouldn't show Ed. You know, with it being a kitten and all.

Roy  
1. So you're hott, big deal. I bet you can't charm THIS girl!

Havoc  
1. Don't Listen to Roy. You're cute in your own way.  
2. Lose the cigarettes and you might get a lot more women.

Hawkeye  
1. Ever consider dating Havoc? I mean he isn't as lazy as Colonel Egomaniac!  
2. You're my idol for being able to put men in their place!

Hughes  
1. You are such a devoted father! Men like you are hard to find!

Yah. That's about it.  
mysticalilly

Ed: Many people are. But thanks anyway. And thanks about all the other stuff you said.

Al: Yaaaay!

Ed: Give it back.

Al: Awww…

Roy: I bet I could if I could meet you in person ;)

Havoc: Thanks. Hey, I'm trying!!

Riza: Sorry, but I don't think I'm going to date anyone at this moment. Thank you; I appreciate that. :

Hughes: Thanks! I just love my daughter and wife SO much!!

_Ok this is for Envy who makes your clothes and why do hold such a grudge against Ed? And for Roy do you have some sort of emotional problem that requires you to date a numerous amount of women? And Lust must you show so much cleavage? It's blinding!_

_Kakashi'sWife4Ever_

Envy: I got them a while ago at some store, but Dante altered them to my liking. The answer to your second question has been answered for the person who doesn't wanna tell us his or her name; I'm not gonna repeat myself for some stupid humans.

Roy: No…I just enjoy the company of the opposite sex.

Lust: Maybe you should stop staring there, then. After all, you _are_ this "Kakashi" guy's wife, am I right? I _am_ Lust, after all; what do you want me to do about it?

_To Ed:  
- If someone calls you short (which I'm not saying you are), tell them, "I'm not short, I'm just in a world of GIANTS!"  
To Envy:  
- How do you feel about this song:  
She's part girl, she's part boy  
She's got parts everyone can enjoy  
She's got more, she's got less  
She's got her manhood tucked in her dress  
Is she a Mister or is she a Miss?  
Does she stand up when she's taking a piss?  
She's my little girl, she's my little guy  
When I try to please her, I get poked in the eye  
-end of song-  
It's dedicated to YOU!_

_Gothic Fangirl_

Ed: That's what I keep telling people, but no one ever believes me!!

Envy: Did you find that somewhere, or did you write it specifically for me? This will help me determine the method of your murder.

_Ultimate homunculi AMV A Life of Their Own - FMA Homunculi  
"Now I'll follow my own way, and I'll  
Live on to another damn day  
Freedom carries sacrifice,  
Remember when this was my life"_

Ultimate Envy theme song When You're Evil  
"I do it all because I'm evil  
And I do it all for free  
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need"

funny FMA FullMetal Alchemist Files  
"Envy can also take the shape of other people ideal for KIDNAPPING CHILDREN AND CORRUPTING THEIR MINDS!"

_From????? ()_

Envy: Bravo.

_OK, I had one question left, but there's been a lot going on and I finished later than expected. For example, my idiot father's car broke down so I had to help steer it into the driveway while he and my mom pushed, but since our driveway is on a hill, THAT failed so I ended up pushing with my mom while he steered it in front of our house. My cat, who is an INDOOR CAT has also run outside three times in the course of an hour and a half. I also need to study for English since I didn't read some of the stories we're being tested on and also it would be great if I could do well on French. I'll work on the next column between tomorrow and Friday, and it should be up by Friday. But school's almost over, so yay. Until next time!_


	42. Chapter 42

So, currently my computer has decided to hate me again, so unfortunately I'm gonna make this chapter a bit shorter just in case it decides to shut down on me. That and it's my mom's birthday today )

By the way…this is the 42nd chapter!!! XDDD (anyone get it?)

Hey Guys:

Well, I'm done asking for advice, but I've noticed glancing through these chapters that most people ask you questions more about yourselves in this thing anyway...not that I can think of anything at the moment...

Oh, Winry, thanks for the "moving forward" advice. I got it a bit late to take it but it's what I'm doing anyway. 

One more thing, I saw somebody's comment about Mokuba from YuGi-Oh, and I just wanted to mention that a friend of mine and I are absolutely POSITIVE that Mokuba looks freakishly like Wrath. His older brother has a frightening similarity of appearance to Roy Mustang in my opinion too…

Oh...hey Ed, my friend and I were wondering...what would you do if one day you were going about your business, not doing anything out of the ordinary...and suddenly you were somewhere other then where you had just been...and it happened to be the bedroom of a fan of yours? 

Love always  
FriendlyFangirl88

**Ed: Yeah, people don't really ask us for advice. It's more like, "OMGZ ED MAKE OUT WITH ENVY AND/OR ROY AND/OR YOUR LITTLE BROTHER!!!!!! RU9 NGIHYV90TY!!!" or something like that. So it's okay.**

**Winry: Oh, well, good luck anuyway!**

**Wrath & Roy: …What?**

**Ed: …RUN.**

DO NOT STICK A DONUT UP YOUR NOSE!

To The Homunculi:  
Alright already! I'll tell you! A Klondike bar is a hollow chocolate shell filled with delicious ice cream! I would sacrifice a human life for one! It's THAT good!

To... THE AUTHOR:  
You do a great job with this! Wait a minute... Your school hasn't let out yet? Weird, my school let out in May!

-HisokaYukiko

**Ed: I'll keep that in mind the next time I eat doughnuts.**

**Gluttony: MMMMMMMMM…… ))))))))**

**BakaKonekoRKL: …Loser. I get out Tuesday. **(sigh) **It's not like we even **_**do **_**anything after finals. I mean really. Luckily, that probably means I'll be able to get a bunch of fanfiction written ) Oh gosh, I'm getting off topic again xD**

More questions and comments from me, ones for Russell, you look like a flirt, I bet you're just as bad as Roy. Oh and what would you do if Fletcher was taken by child services?

Fletcher: What would you do if you were taken by child services?

(From a friend of mine) Izumi: When you were a child did you cough up blood? Did it scare the other kids, or did they think you were some sort of blood dragon, and if they did, did you kick their asses? Thank you!

Moofy-Fan 

Russell: I am not!! Well, I'd probably beat them up and run off with him so they couldn't find us. But that's never going to happen.

**Fletcher: Uhm…Run?**

**Izumi: No, actually. I cough up blood because some of my internal organs are missing as a result of my Human Transmutation attempt several years ago.**

Riza: -lets go- sorry... I get too excited and happy sometimes...

Wrath: Good! -hugs-

Barry: No... I don't... I just think it's fun to try to kill them. Okay... if you like me... then... DON'T CHOP ME UP!!

Lust: Okay... -is all confused-

Ed: What's wrong with me? Well... nothing really... I just get hyper off of coffee that's all...

Shoushin 

Riza: That's ok.

**Wrath: You can let go of me, too.**

**Barry The Chopper: Aww, come on. Just a little?**

**Ed: … **(sigh)

Havoc: How's life? Sorry, that just slipped out of me. I meant to say, how's YOUR life? Is Roy stealing girls from you again?  
To all: Do you agree with me when I say this world is a cruel, cruel place and is TOTALLY AND UTTERLY UNFAIR? I hope so, because nothing's perfect. You said it Al...

Sakura-Moonlight 

Havoc: Not lately. I'm actually not dating anyone at this time (anyone of legal age interested?)

**Al: I did? Well, I guess it depends on your outlook on life. Sure, bad things happen **(such as computers breaking down on your mom's birthday and it OF COURSE has her cards stored on it)**, but it all depends on how you deal with it that counts **(because the computer worked before she came home and not only did I get the cards, but I'm making an advice column too!)**. So you see, whatever's happening now, it'll all turn out alright Just remember: SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!!! …**

Hello!

Everyone:  
-giggle giggle- so many people got in a fight a few days ago and there in SO much trouble! Its hilarious cuz I didn't xD!

Ed:  
Ima make a song for you? KK?

'I'm not a kid,  
it's just that I'm real short,  
I am so small,  
I cant join any real sports,  
It's so unfair,  
That everyone my age is,  
So much taller than me,  
For life!'  
That was my version of I'm Just A Kid, you like?

Did you know you're practically a homunculus? I looked up the definition in the dictionary and it said that a homunculus is an artificially made DWARF! Hahahahahahaha!

Hughes:  
Smile! You're on Candid Camera! Muahaha, you're rubbing off on me. I'm going to go around randomly taking pics of people! -takes your picture-.

Envy:  
I mean, I killed a bunch of toothbrushes, brought them back to life and then they were so grateful that they joined me and now we go around reeking havoc (hee hee Havoc) on people who didn't brush their teeth! Be VERY happy they like you; they're like rabid squirrels when they don't like someone. -takes your picture-.

Oh and by the way, I found a quote that suits you perfectly! 'If you love something, let it go, if it comes back its yours, if it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it' I guess the point is that you actually love Hohenheim, he never came back for you so you are hunting him down to kill him. Get it?

Russell:  
xD Ed's right, your not very good at cheering people up. But when you tried and had that object thrown at your head, I laughed. So really your great at making people feel better. Or maybe I'm just sadistic... Oh well -takes your picture- -gives camera to friend, kisses you, and gets friend to take a picture-.

Winry:  
Go stick your head in a tub filled with water while I stick a plugged in blow dryer in it. -gets ready to take picture when her head is in the tub getting electrocuted-

Riza:  
Lolly pop lolly pop, ooh lolly lolly lolly, lolly pop! -takes your picture-

Roy:  
-sneaks up on you and takes a picture of you in the shower- (this is for whenever you take a shower xD).

Basque Grand:  
Haha! Your brain went 'splodey! You suck! How Hiromu Arakawa thought the name GRAND suits you I don't know. Kinda sucks though cuz I want to make your brain explode. That would be so cool... -takes a picture of your dead self with your brains splattered everywhere-.

Scar:  
You rock! You made that stupid mans brain go 'splodey! Not to mention the fact that you're hott... -takes your picture-.

That's all for now! -runs to random people, showing them all the pictures she took today XD- haha!

Sincerely,  
The Bubble Wrap Alchemist.

**Ed: WHY YOU LITTLE-! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! HOW **_**DARE**_** YOU MAKE A SONG LIKE THAT!!! I'M GONNA--!!!**

Al: Calm down, Brother!! … 

Hughes: Don't forget Elysia and Gracia! Ooh, I can show you some of mine, if you want!

**Envy: You know, I agree with the midget-shrimp for once. I'm going to kill you, too.**

**Russell: Wait, what?**

**Winry: …I'm not stupid, you know.**

**Riza: …Um…**

**Roy: AAH! Go away!**

**Basque Grand: … **(can't answer since he's dead and no one really likes him. See, Hughes can answer cuz he's awesome, but nobody likes this guy, therefore, he can't xD)

Scar: Thanks…I guess, but please don't take my picture.

I'm back loves!

Winry: -Glomps- Thank you SOO much!! The advice worked!!

Everyone: My cat, Drake, got hit by a car and we had to put him to sleep. And, to make it all worse, it all happened on my 16th birthday. I'm very depressed about it but I don't really need any advice, I would just like some comfort and support. Anything to make me feel better?

Envy: -attaches self to Envy- Can YOU make me feel better?! Pweasse!? I DID give you the blanket, didn't I?! And I'm not making anymore EnvyxEd comments, I deserve something from you!-cries-

Sweetkittens R.I.P Drake

**Winry: I'm glad! I'm sorry about your cat, though.**

**Al: Aww, poor kitty (**

**Envy: Um…There, there? **(pats head disinterestedly)

Ed: That's not gonna cheer her up, moron! 

**Envy: Do you really think I care?**

**Ed: Heartless bastard.**

**Envy: Pipsqueak.**

**Ed: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?**

**Envy: Yeah, you heard me.**

**Winry: Should we stop them?**

**Al: …Nah…**

**BakaKonekoRKL: If it makes you feel any better, I spent the better half of the day sweeping my basement which has not been cleaned in, judging from the amount of dust caked onto everything, about 10 years and is rarely traveled into except for storage, has no ceiling (just insulation) and hard cement walls and floor with crappy graffiti on the wall. I swept it after my excruciatingly difficult French exam and let me tell you, **_**it was not fun**_**. I still smell like that musty place, even after a shower. So cheer up ) And hey- Al doesn't have a cat, either.**

**Al: …**

Ok, Ok, I'm really mad right now. I need help, so this is towards Ed and Al.

OK, my friend is totally stupid sometimes!! I just stopped liking this guy and she takes it in her hands to go out with him!! Frig! I have two options, should I REALLY tell her how I feel, or should I kick her ass. I really prefer the second option cuz I know I could fight if I wanted to. Envy can answer this as well if he pleases.

Dreams – United 

**Ed: While I'm always one for kicking someone's ass, how do you know that she hasn't liked this guy for a while but just never said anything because you liked him too? And if you don't like him anymore, then what does it matter what she does with him?**

**Winry: Ed! She's obviously hurt by this!**

**Ed: Well sorry for not understanding girls!**

**Winry: You should be! Listen, why don't you just tell your friend how you feel? Talking things out usually works better than beating someone up, don't you think?**

**Ed: **(coughing) **Yeah right.**

**Winry: **(glare)

Ed: I didn't say anything! 

A/N …Whoops, I threw Winry in there ' Sorry, it's just when I wanna say something, instead of always throwing myself into the conversation, I try to use Winry because it makes sense for her to say things I'd say since we're both kinda similar. And I didn't know if I'd be able to get the same effect if I rewrote it so I didn't ' Gomen! I hope this is ok.

Hey!!

Ed, Al, Winry, Roy:

I have this really good friend at school, and I like him, and I'm sure he likes me (he took me to the prom). Only he's a Senior and I'm a Freshman. My mom was telling me that the way he looks at me is indescribable. He is getting a car this summer and told me that he will take me anywhere I want to go to. What signals can I give that will tell him that I like him too?

One other problem.

There's this girl who's a grade ahead of me, and I'm sure that she likes him too. But there's a big difference between us: She dresses like a slut and acts like one, while I was brought up to act decently around everyone. She is really rude to me because this guy took me to the prom, and because her Ex is like my little brother's role model. She will invite him to all of her parties and sneer at me when she gives him an invitation. I have taken the high road all year long and I can't take it much longer! What should I do?

Thanks!!

EdElricFan1001

**Roy: Take it from me. Age doesn't matter in a relationship, unless it's to the point of pedophilia.**

**Ed: Perv.**

**Al: …I think what they're trying to say is that a few years shouldn't make a difference if you really love each other. But then, what is "love", anyway?**

**Winry: …Well, it sounds really sweet, anyway. It seems that he really likes you, and he obviously doesn't like the other girl that much if he asked ****you**** to the prom. If you guys aren't going out already, I don't see why you haven't asked him out yet, because it seems pretty obvious that he likes you.**

**Ed: But if he's going away to collage soon…well, that could put a strain on your relationship if he goes to another state or something and won't be home very often.**

**Al: Just ignore the other girl. Like Winry said, he likes ****you****, not her. People are always going to be like that in life, so you really can't let them get to you.**

**Wow…I actually managed to get all of them in! I'm amazing Oh, and a question for more experienced users. What does it mean to subscribe to someone? Is it the same as an alert? If so, why the different names? Why am I just now beginning to get these e-mails? I mean, I haven't really changed anything about my account. I'm kinda confused, so any answers would be greatly appreciated Thanks, loves! Review please!**


	43. Chapter 43

Well, my computer is still being a little weird…but I've decided to try to get this done. Otherwise some of your heads might fall off ' So let's get going!

_Ed: Hey Ed... you have a clone!! -shows him Hoshi-Ryuu- she looks just like you... well... she has glasses.. but oh well!_

Barry: NO! I don't want to be chopped up... even though I wouldn't die... but still!!

Wrath: But... I don't want to let go!! -clings onto him-

-Okay... Hoshi-Ryuu is going to talk now-

Ello everyone! okay,

Ed: Since I'm technically your "Clone" can you give me some lines I could use if someone calls me short? I am short on top of it so...yes..

Wrath: Ello Wrathy-kun!! Good to see you again, don't kill Shoushin…She's just a lovable person.

Roy: What would you do if the Military officers forced you to lead a conga line?

See you laters!!

-Shoushin waves- bye-bye!

Shoushin and Hoshi-Ryuu 

**Ed: Riiiiight…And the fact that she's a girl.**

**Barry The Chopper: Heh heh…**

**Wrath: Geeze, just let go already!!! **(trying to push her off)

**Ed: If you're really my "clone", then you must be one of Tucker's experiments or something! …But anyway. Jus tell them that you're just living on an alien planet full of giants and that it's better to be short and sexy than to be tall and ugly. Like Roy.**

**Roy: Hey! At least I can get a date!**

**Wrath: I'll consider it, as soon as she stops clinging to me!!**

**Roy: Depends. Where, when, for how long, and what would the women be wearing?**

Her evilness has returned! (after long absence)  
okay here I go  
Greed why are you trying to become immortal? Homunculi are practically immortal (unless I made a horrible mistake) so I see no point  
Kimbley you are so awesome! I think I have figured out your Alchemic technique! And I have pledged to try to recreate it! muah hah hah!  
Ed shorty! (x10)  
everyone there is this guy at school you teases me to hell so I threw a chair at him and got suspended oh well can you all please tell me what I should do  
Dante I hate you  
I will return do not doubt it

_roxie-san_

**Greed: The key word there is **_**practically**_

**Kimbley: Good luck, kid. Let me know how it turns out.**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN ELF THE SIZE OF A BEAN!?!?!?**

**Dante: I'm not too happy about the fact that you're alive, either.**

**Al: First of all, you should learn to control your anger better. **(sighs) **You're just like my brother…There's not too much that you can do about it now, but next time, don't let what he says get to you. All he wants is to see you upset, so it's better to just ignore him, or tell someone that he's bothering you so that they can deal with it so that you don't get in trouble.**

_I'm back! With more pictures too! -insert evil laugh-_

Ed:  
Don't be mad! Tis but a merry jest! You are truly not short! Someone your size cannot be put on a size scale XD -takes your picture-.

Al: Walkin' Talkin' applesauce! You punched Ed! Hahahahaha! (referring to the episode -The Ishbalan Massacre-) -does a kitten dance with her 30 cats, dances over to Al and sneaks him one. And there are so many other cats that Ed doesn't notice!-

Envy:  
YELLOW JACKETS, WO! Lol, it was play day at school today and I was on the yellow team and we named ourselves the Yellow Jackets, like the bees. And we WON! WOOHOO! Come on Envy, show some team spirit! EVERYONE SHOW SOME TEAM SPIRIT!

Hughes: Ok! -exchanges pictures with Hughes-

Gracia: -takes your picture-

Elysia: -takes your picture-

Russell:  
What what? (you said what and I'm wondering what you said what for cuz I know you said what for something, so what?, Try saying that 10x fast!)-takes your picture then starts randomly cuddling you-.

Winry:  
Really? I got the impression that you were. -hits YOU over the head with a giant wrench- HA, HOW DOES IT FEEL!

Riza:  
When you're blue, and you don't, know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits? lol, ok I'm done. Hehe, Mustang's useless in the rain -giggle- you pwned him!

Roy:  
I will give that picture to my Fuhrer and he can blackmail you! MUAHAHAHA. By the way, my Fuhrer is Vic Mignogna! And I am a proud Ranger!

Scar:  
-cant help but feel all sad inside- Am I the only one who thought you sounded really sad when you said that or am I going crazy? -huggles you- I'm sorry! I'll never take your picture again! -cries on you cuz your nice and now she feels sad-. (My friend laughs at the nice part by the way...)

Havoc:  
I just want you to know that I know someone of legal age who loves you... She is my imaginary friend Mimi, she REALLY likes you -. Oh and she can be quite mean if she doesn't get her way...

Come on babies, do the locomotive! -does the locomotive-,-makes everyone do the locomotive, even Basque Grand!-

Sincerely,  
The Bubble Wrap Alchemist

**Ed: …**_**Someone**_** had caffeine today…**

**Al: What about applesauce? YAY, KITTIES!!!**

**Ed: …GET THEM **_**ALL**_** OUT OF HERE, **_**NOW**_**!! I can't believe you guys are **_**still **_**going on about that!!**

**Envy: Why the hell should I care?**

**Russell: …Do you think you could stop that?**

**Winry: Hey, that's unfair! I've only used regular-sized wrenches!**

**Riza: Yes, I'm aware of this…**

**Roy: What? How could you chose that miniscule shrimp over me?**

**Ed: WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT, I'M NO-**

**Roy: Give it a rest. You're short and you know it.**

**Ed: **(too fuming mad to say anything)

**Scar: Um…thanks for your concern?**

**Havoc: BUT SHE'S IMAGINARY!!! **(sobbing)

**Al: You have an obsession with old songs, don't you?**

...I may have to go back to asking you for advice. You see, despite my name, I am...well...rather sadistic. Not in any way that manifests in my everyday life, only in my...ahem...writing. The characters I love the most are the ones I put through the worst torment. I enjoy watching the characters I love overcome their suffering and such...only I usually don't write far enough to see them overcome...so I usually just write them suffering. Anyway...I've finally hit a bit of a wall with that. See (oh man, Ed's gonna kill me) I have this situation in my head that would cause a great deal of physical and emotional pain for Al. Only I can't. I found a character I love too much to write getting hurt...but the story idea won't leave me alone! I even have enough thought through that I could see the story through to a happy ending! But every time I try to write the opening sequence...I visualize through maybe ten seconds before I have to stop...because I just can't hurt Al!   
(O.K., maybe Ed WON'T kill me...) I'm bound to get mixed reactions to this question...I just...this story is begging to get written but my sadism has reached its limit. Help.

FriendlyFangirl88 

**Al: …Why me?**

**Ed: As much as I hate that it's about my little brother…Three options. First, you could write it about another character entirely. Two, you could write it about another character, but go back a day or two later and change it to Al. Or you could write a little bit at a time, just push through the torment and get it over with.**

**Al: …Are you absolutely positive that it has to be about me? I mean, I've lost my body; isn't that enough?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: I was once writing a lemon, which was particularly hard for me (don't ask) but I pretty much just kept pushing through, like Ed said, and once I got through the tough parts it was much easier to keep going.**

**Ed: It's also easier to write "he" and "she" instead of using actual names. If you want to, you can go back later and change it.**

I have to pack for camp and study for exams, plus I want to read fanfiction and watch Naruto. I'm having trouble balancing priorities! Any opinions?

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite 

**Ed: Why not just eat the food?**

**Al: I think it's a show.**

**Ed: Oh. Well in that case, study, but once it becomes difficult to concentrate, pack for a bit until your brain feels rested and ready to study again. Tape the food-show so you can watch it later and print out fanfiction so you're not restricted to just reading it on the internet (this way, you can read it after your exams are over and crazy proctors won't let you talk or on the bus ride to school or the ride to camp).**

**Al: How come you can tell other people how to be organized, but you can't do a thing to help yourself?**

**Ed: I'm perfectly organized!!**

**Al: Suuure…**

_More questions and comments from me, Russell- You lie._

Al- I got some now and laters a candy but I'm eating them all and I'm not good at making things last, any ideas on how to help.

Wrath- Would you hate me forever if I gave you a kiss?

Ed- would you rather live with Dante for a month, not killing her and vise versa, or live with a rotting fish body around your neck for a month, not being able to take it off and stuff?

Moofy-Fan 

**Russell: No I don't!**

**Al: Um, just pace yourself, I guess. Put some away and force yourself not to eat them for as long as possible.**

**Wrath: Yes. Don't even think about it!**

**Ed: …Fish.**

Ed-  
Would you dance if I asked you to dance?  
Would you run and never look back?  
Would you cry if you saw me crying?  
Would you save my soul tonight?  
Would you laugh, OH PLEASE TELL ME THIS,  
Now would you die for the one your love?  
HOLD ME CLOSE TONIGHT. 

Mkay, enough with quoting Enrique Iglesias songs. Let's get down to BUSINESS.

...All of you, I guess, particularly Ed and Al--This week I have to go to a Girl's Camp for the week, and everyone is uber uptight, and we are not allowed to bring any music playing devices (sob) or books, or any sort of joy or happiness along with us. So I'm going to be hiking and stuck up in the middle of nowhere at a place that could rival a labor camp. You and Al (.../whoever else) travel a fair deal of the time. What do you do along the journey to entertain yourself?

Peace, love, and cupcakes,

Rileycakes

**Ed: Maybe, yes, no, depends, no, yes, no. Hope that was clear enough.**

**Al: We usually keep each other company, so maybe you could try to make some friends to talk with.**

**Ed: Draw on yourself. Take a pen and draw and write on yourself. They'll probably get mad at you, though.**

**Al: If you don't want to go, you really should talk to your parents about it, especially if it makes you unhappy.**

**Ed: You could also always sneak the things in. Granted, they might take it, but if you print some fanfiction out, it doesn't really matter if they take it after you've read it.**

For Ed:

1) How do you get that antenna to stay up? Do you use hair gel or something?

For Al

1) Cat's are EVIL...a cat killed my pet bird...the blood...

for Winry

1) do you consider the wrench a deadly weapon?

For Riza

1) PLEASE go trigger-happy on that pervert Roy's !

For Roy:

RESPECT WOMEN MORE

for Envy

You rock dude

for Lust

Put a sweater on, GOD!

MegaSliferSlacker7 

**Ed: What antenna? I don't do anything to my hair, it's just natural.**

**Al: Aw, I'm sorry…but I still love cats!**

**Winry: When I'm using it, it could be.**

**Riza: …He hasn't exactly done anything (yet).**

**Roy: What makes you think that I don't?**

**Envy: Obviously.**

**Lust: How's no for an answer?**

To Edo-I don't know why I am asking you of all people but...  
Ok I'm trying to do well in school but I keep on  
falling asleep in class. Any suggestions on how to stay  
up? Btw, how do I stop my friend from posting embarrassing  
pics of me? Help!

AquaSteel Alchemist 

Ed: Get plenty of sleep the night before. Don't stay up late, and even if you're going to bed so early that it's laughable, just do it. Set a tape for anything you might want to watch that night and watch it the next day or over the weekend. As for your second problem, you can either take the camera away or stop doing embarrassing things!

Hmm, that seemed like a short chapter lol. But anyway. Thanks to everyone's' help on helping me to figure out the whole subscribe vs. alert thing a bit more. I appreciate it Also, I believe that my computer is slowly dying, so I may not be able to post for a while. Actually, I'm going to clean my room (I suggest that if you have a place to hide in case the apocalypse comes, you go there) tomorrow after school ends and Wednesday. Tomorrow there's also TKD testing and Thursday and Friday evenings I have parties. And tomorrow's also my last day of school!! So I'll probably post during the day at some point this week. But I can't post if I have no reviews, so review! 3


	44. Chapter 44

Sorry, guys, my computer is STILL kinda broken. I don't even know how I'm on right now, but while I'm on, I've decided to write up another column and update While You Were Gone. Just cuz I love you all that much :)

Ed: Well that's why she's an opposite gender clone! DUH!

Barry: ... Can I chop you up? Wait... why would I ask... -finds Barry's rotting body- ew... oh well... -starts cutting it up-

Wrath: No! -still clinging-

-Hoshi-Ryuu is going to talk now... again-

Ed: I'm not one of Tucker's experiments! Are you nuts?!

Wrath: Good. 

Roy: ...I'm not gonna answer.. (Shoushin: They'll be wearing bikinis or miniskirts... which ever you want, Roy...)

Shoushin and Hoshi: -this is to everyone-... What would you do for a Klondike Bar?... Would you leave a poor defenseless kitten out in the rain to starve?

Shoushin & Hoshi: -for everyone again- Okay… before we go... Out of these 5... which do you like? Shattered legends, Wing's wish, Heaven's illusion, Secretive souls, or Shattered wing's illusion.

Shoushin 

Ed: A clone is an exact copy of the original. That's why certain species of animals consist only of females and others consist only of males. So no, she's not a clone of me.

Barry The Chopper: Hey!! Stop that! I'm the only one who can chop people up in here!!

Wrath: Damnit, let go of me, woman! You're making me angry!!!!

Ed: No, but I think you are.

Roy: Sounds terrific.

Al: No!!! Of course not!!!

Ed: That's just mean.

Roy: Why are you asking us? Are you trying to think up a name for some secret, exclusive club or something?

Ed: If we help you think of a name, then we've got to be in it.

Al: Oh, come on! Jus help them! It's probably for girls only, anyway.

Ed: Oh. Well, then, we'll have to have Winry infiltrate them!

Roy: Riza, you too.

Winry & Riza: JUST CHOOSE A NAME ALREADY!!

Ed & Roy: Alright, already!

Ed: You chose first.

Roy: No, you.

Al: How about Shattered Wing's Illusion, since it's like a combination of them all?

_To everyone: How come you guys are all here forced to answer strange, sometimes crazy and insane questions? Do you guys have anything else to do? And have you explored the FMA section on fanfiction? For all your sakes, please don't... Me, I'll be fine, but to you all, you'll probably be scarred for life if not already happened or worse..._

_Sakura-Moonlight_

Ed: Of course we other stuff to do!

Al: We just know that sometimes people have problems that they can't really ask people they know about, so we decided that we should open this up so that they can come to us for help. And if we have to answer one person's question, we have to answer everyone's…

Ed: Trust me, all of us already know about the horrible things that you people do to us.

_I'm not going to put a weird intro about donuts or whatever because this is SERIOUS._

To... ANYONE! (Especially Ed because he just seems to know what to do):

HELP! HELP! HELP!  
I don't know what to do! (Deep breath) A while ago, I was cutting something with a knife when I accidentally cut myself. It stung for a while, but then I felt really good about myself. I dunno why, but it felt satisfying. Then I cut myself again, but this time deliberately. And I LICKED the blood off my cut! Now I'm afraid because I'm starting to enjoy cutting myself! I don't want to self mutilate!

There is no one in my life that I trust enough to tell. SO WHAT DO I DO TO STOP MYSELF?

-HisokaYukiko (Starting to feel light headed)

Ed: What makes you think I'D know what to do!?

Al: Come one, Brother, she's asking you!

Ed: Alright, alright. Well…if you're lucky, it could just be a phase. I've met many people on my journeys, so I can say that I've met many different _kinds_ of people. I know some people who would cut themselves here and there, but then found better things to occupy their time. Of course, you don't seem like the kind of person who would do something like that and enjoy it, but then again, you never know. It's good idea to talk to someone before it gets too serious. A guidance counselor, a parent, even a friend or older sibling (there has to be _someone _that you can trust). Yes, you'll probably have to go through a lot of crap, but it will be worth it. That will be your best and safest bet, so I should really make you do that, but I think it's fair to give out other options. Try to resist going near knives and the like. Don't let yourself do it; use your self-control (similar to a person on a diet trying to resist chocolate). Eventually, the want to do it will decrease and eventually (hopefully) vanish. You could also satisfy the urge to cut with something less harmful; for example, instead of picking up a knife, pick up a book and read. You could also search online for other ideas, but those are mine. However, you should still really tell someone about it, because you just never know. Oh, and good luck.

_Yo! By the way, I'm going through MAJOR FMA crush fazes lately and I just want to warn you that my biggest crush is Scar so he should probably be careful..._

Ed:  
Blech! Caffiene! Grodey. You know what would be HILLARIOUS? If Scar actually blew your brains up and it was like stew splattered on the wall! Hahahaha. hm... I think I might be done being mean to you. But one will never know.

Al:  
Well I tried.  
I don't know why but you remind me of silly putty for some reason...

Envy:  
You know what? You have team spirit issues! In fact, I spit on your team spirit. That's right, I SPIT ON IT!

Kimbley:  
kicks you in the shins then bonks you on the noggin You suck!

Russell:  
Rude-o! Hmph! Its over.

Roy: I picked him over you because I uber love Vic and I don't uber love you. You pickin' up what I'm puttin' down? Oh by the way! Look, this is a picture of my friend who likes you. Isn't she pretty? shows picture

Scar:  
In case you haven't read... I love you! clings to you with absolutely no intention of letting go I will follow your hottness wherever it goes! Oh and can you make my friends brain explode? Oh and before you say no, she wants to become a state alchemist! grumbles I wish I could explode peoples brains. Oh how the two would fear me, bwahahaha!

Havoc:  
Oh suck it up, your acting pathetic! Be a man!

Lust:  
Ok, nobody wants to see that! Your making me wanna barf.

Hohenheim:  
Did you know your emo? Like I just realized that, man are you ever emo! But you still rock.

Some by my friend...

Ed: I love you! You are the best character ever!

Al: Give it up, your never going to get a cat.

Envy:  
...Androgynous weirdo.

Riza:  
Leave Roy alone!

Winry:  
Go drink some acid. (Yes, all my friends don't like you either! We're thinking of starting a Winry hating club).

Scar:  
Loser. How dare you try to hurt my Edo! I can't believe Bubble Wrap (me) likes you! (by the way, she was saying leggo my Edo when you were trying to blow up his brains. While I was rooting for you :D)

Lust:  
You rock! I'm cosplaying as you!

End of her... Oh and she's the one who I want Scar to blow up.

Oh and yes, I LOVE old songs!

Sincerely,  
The Bubble Wrap Alchemist.

Ed: NO WAY! GEEZE, MAKE IT A LITTLE LONGER NEXT TIME!!!

Al: Brother, calm down! Oh, um…okay…

Envy: Well you have fun doing that cuz I DON'T CARE!

Kimbley: You're kicking the guy that can easily blow you up? Do it again and I won't hesitate to kill you!

Russell: Um…ok…sorry.

Roy: Hey, she's really good looking! And she likes me, you say? Any idea if she's single?

Riza: Sir! She's got to be a lot younger than you!

Roy: Eheh heh heh…just kidding!

Scar: Um…could you please let go of me and possibly leave me alone? She's not a State Alchemist yet, so until then, I really have no business with her.

Havoc: O-Okay…

Lust: Get over it.

Hohenheim: Yes…I suppose you could say that. But thanks anyway.

Ed: Haha… Yes, I know :D

Al: Yes I will! Someday…

Envy: Fcuk you.

Riza: Sorry, but as long as he keeps slacking off, I don't think I'll be able to.

Winry: Well then don't talk to me! And no, I won't!

Scar: Sorry, but I was on a mission to avenge my people.

Lust: Thank you.

_To Roy:  
- -knock knock- Did you break out of there yet? -unlocks the door-  
To Envy:  
- Um.. I uh.. found it somewhere? DON'T KILL ME!! HELP!! SOMEONE!!  
To Ed:  
- SAVE ME! -uses you as a human shield- Wait.. -huggle-  
To Envy:  
- DON'T KILL ED EITHER!  
To Al:  
- -runs to the corner- COME HERE!! -Here's a kitten, be sure Ed doesn't see it!.. I gotta hide from Envy now, bye!! -scream-_

Gothic Fangirl

Roy: (runs out) I never thought that I'd run from a room full of women, but these girls were just _crazy_!!

Ed: What the hell is wrong with you?! LET GO!!

Envy: Now why should I let the two of you live?

Al: Yay

Ed: GIVE IT BACK, AL!!

Al: Huh? Give what back?

Ed: You know what I mean, Al.

Al: Uhm…Rabbits eat lettuce? 0:)

Ed: You have three seconds to give that kitten back. One…Two…

Al: Alright, alright! Sorry!

_(A/N Uhh…I skipped around in the order. Don't ask me why. But I have everyone's questions here, just not in the same order that you posted them. I could rearrange them, but I don't want to test my computer's patience. Sorry if there's any confusion!!!)_

_First set is mine, second set is my friend Saz-chan's._

To Ed: Don't let the height comments get to you. I'm an adult and barely tall enough to not need a booster seat in the car. Know what I do? Besides beating them up. I don't react (if I don't pound their face in) It really makes it less fun for them, so they leave me alone.

To Envy: Even though you're a homicidal maniac, you're my number 1 favorite character. Your powers are wicked. But is there anyone you actually like, you know, not in a "I'm about to gleefully kill you" way?

To Riza: I love how you keep Roy in check, but have you ever actually done more than threaten him with the gun? Ever got to shoot him?

To Roy: I used to hate your guts because you were a jerk. I like you now, but what's up with all the jerkiness?

SAZ-CHAN'S QUESTIONS

Envy: Instead of being all misunderstood and having to kill people who think you're a girl (and I did too!) why not just use a deeper voice, or NOT wear a crop top or something? You can't be that in love with what you wear!

Ed: You ever thought about just chopping off Roy's legs at the knee so you guys're the same height?

Lust: Do you have a hard time keeping your top up? It looks kinda precarious!

And hey, how come the only Homunculi wearing crop tops are dudes!! What's up with that?

_Zilo's Blue Pen_

Ed: Sure. Except I can't really control it, because it makes me so mad.

Envy: Heh, thanks. But no, there isn't.

Riza: Thank you. No, I haven't. I've shot at him and purposely missed (like with Black Hayate), but I've never shot him.

Roy: Jerkiness? You mean how I treat FullMetal? No, I just like to torment and tease him.

Envy: You want a bet? It confuses people, obviously, so I like it.

Ed: Are you suggesting that I'm short or something? I'M STILL GROWING, YOU KNOW!!!!

Lust: No.

Envy: Why, do you have a problem with it?

_More questions and comments from me. This one is from my friend, for Kimbley- I quote her "can you please blow up my church, every time I'm in there, I want to make demonic noises, by the way, you rock" end of quote._

The homunculi- What would you do if you were trapped in a room with the virtues from Chronos Crusade? By the way, they're probably as powerful, if not more, than you.

Ed- What hurt more, being slammed into a tree by Izumi, or being slammed into the stairs by Heiderich?

_Moofy-Fan_

Kimbley: Hell yeah, I can!

Envy: Heh, I doubt they are.

Lust: We'd probably destroy them.

Wrath: YEAH!!

Ed: Being slammed into a tree. Are you kidding? Izumi is way stronger than Heiderich.

_This is from a person tired of getting hurt. I have found out from experience that if you get too close to a person, eventually you end up getting burnt. I am careful in keeping my friends from getting too close, and have never let anyone be involved with me in a romantic way. Even my family is kept at cautious distance. I keep everything to myself, be it sorrow, despair or anger. All the while, I keep up a cheerful facade, and no one suspects anything. In fact, their opinion of me would be something like 'a cheerful girl, perhaps to the point of carelessness'. However, I have harmed myself several times, and tried suicide three times, once by taking 40 pills, with no success. While I am recovering, all the feelings stored away seem to be taking a toll on me, physically and mentally. Even though I can work out the stress and feel good for a while by exerting myself at the athletic club, when I feel 'happy', there is always that feeling of sorrow underneath. Even when I want to cry, my pride would not let me. One of the most frustrating things are that, even when I wish to feel detached from the people around me, when they get hurt by someone, I can't help but feel anger for the person that has hurt them. I feel this desire to protect them from the world, even if I can't. I can't turn to people I face daily, so I have come to the sanctuary of nameless, faceless persona for help- I'd like as many opinions as I can get._

_Loveless?_

Ed: You're either pessimistic, or you're depressed.

Al: Brother! You're not helping!

Ed: I'm only saying the truth!

Al: Listen, no matter how much you try to distance yourself from people, you're going to have to deal with them.

Roy: And no matter whether or not you distance yourself or not, you're going to get hurt anyway.

Winry: The first thing you should try to do is become closer with your friends and family.

Riza: Granted, you will get hurt, but you're already hurting yourself now.

Ed: You should also try talking about this to someone, even if it feels difficult. Family, friends, a guidance counselor, someone like that.

Winry: You should really seek out help before you end up hurting yourself.

Al: And if you absolutely cannot ask anyone for help, at least try changing your opinion of the world.

Roy: People are always going to hurt you, so you need to learn to get used to that, but there will also be people who want to help you, and who love you no matter what.

Riza: You can change yourself, but not the entire world.

Ed: And you said that sometimes you feel better when you're working out. Maybe you just need to channel that negative energy into something positive.

All: We hope that helps! Good luck!

_Her evilness has returned!  
I am hyper just warning you and in my hyperness I hit upon the idea of all giving you weird nicknames envy you are first I noticed that you have hair like Sideshow Bob! So from this day forth you are Sideshow Bob! Scar you are next  
Kimbley-chan I will figure it out!  
Al thanks but no thanks I prefer hitting him oh and the comment was not about my size  
everyone congratulate me! My aunt just had a baby! It's a girl they called it Nalani Jade Phillips! I am a cousin (for the fourth time!)  
Edo, have a cookie! -shoves it in mouth-_

_roxie-san_

Envy: You realize that I have to kill you now. And who the hell is Sideshow Bob!?!?

Kimbley: WHAT did you call me?

Al: Oh, okay.

Girls: YAY! Congrads!!!

Guys: Um…

Ed: MUGHS MUPPMH PRMOOMPH!!

_I WOULD follow the advice and all, but there are a few problems._

I misplaced the TV remote and I don't know how to record shows

I went and left practically ALL of my Latin stuff at school. I'M STUPID, DON'T RUB IT IN!

An unspecified number of clothes that I would have packed are MIA

and, last but not least, in fact probably most,

I FORGOT TO STOCK UP ON BOOKS TO BRING!

XD HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite

Ed: GEEZE, WOMAN, ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING!?

Al: Take it easy on her!!

Winry: Uhh…well then, get a friend to tape things for you and borrow some books from your friends! Or bring some that you've already read before, or something!

Ed: …How the hell do you lose clothes?

Al: Brother!!

_To Ed: Did you ever think of getting a hair cut? (Not that I don't like your hair! It rocks! I think it does look better long) I just wondered if there was a reason for not getting a haircut. Do you think longer hairs cooler or did you just never take the time to cut your hair?_

To Roy: Do your paper work!

To both Ed and Roy: Havoc and Al have more fan girls than both of you! (hehehe not that I don't like you both! You 2 rule! just not as much as Al and Havoc and Hughes)  
Hm. How many fan girls does Scar have?

_Haley07_

Ed: Well, think about it. I'd never really get the chance to get a regular haircut, so it's much easier just keeping it long. And anyway, fangirls usually go crazy over it.

Roy: I'll do it when I feel like it! And no, they don't. Trust me.

Ed: I know my little brother has a lot of fangirls, and yeah, he probably has more than Colonel Bastard over there, but no _way_ does he have more than me!

Roy: And Havoc can't even get a date.

Havoc: Don't remind me!!!

_Ok, so yeah, that's it for today! Hopefully I'll be able to get my computer to cooperate with me more…Well anyway, I'm reading the next manga chapter of FMA online right now (damn me…), and there was just a stray kitty outside my house, but the poor thing ran away as soon as I opened the door, so I couldn't help I :( Poor baby…Maybe Alphonse can take care of it Hopefully I'll be able to update next week, if my computer lets me._


	45. Chapter 45

…My computer actually turned on the first time I tried…weird, huh? So I immediately went to type this up. Note: I woke up about 5 minutes ago (I'm pathetic lol), so I may be slightly loopy xD

Havoc, don't be depressed! If I were of legal age (and if you existed in my universe) I would totally date you! My username was almost HAVOCHanajimaHilariaHypocrite but I changed it last-minute after I watched Hughes die. Any progress on quitting the nicotine? -hands havoc a box of nicotine patches and nicotine gum- SMOKING KILLS!

XD HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite

**Havoc: Oh come **_**on**_**! Stop tormenting me already! D: And…um…I'm **_**definitely **_**making tons of progress……RABBITS EAT LETTUCE!! . **

It's... me again.

To Ed:  
I'm calm now and I'm going to follow your advice. It's already working. Gasp! Yay! You actually gave me advice! I LOVE YOU! (Hugs and clings onto his leg) NOW I REMEMBER WHY I ASKED YOU TO MARRY ME IN MY FIRST REVIEW!

To Scieszka:  
Did you know I made a website about you? The link is on my profile.

-HisokaYukiko

Ed: While I'm glad my advice is working, COULD YOU PLEASE LET GO OF ME!??!??!

**Scieszka: Cool I didn't know that people liked me **_**that**_** much **

Ed: ... -thinks for a minute- but the scientists could have combined your DNA with... a frog or fish... I don't know which one it is... maybe it's both... but I heard that during certain times... they can change their gender... HEY... just like Envy!

Barry: -stops- but... you aren't the only one who cut people up... the others are... Ed, Dorochet, Envy, Wrath, Lust, Pride, and Ling...

Wrath: -still clinging- But... I thought you were always angry...

Envy: Hi! I saw a skit on YouTube and it was you as a Spice Girl! It was very funny!

Shoushin 

Ed: …A frog or a fish? …Can we not go any farther into this than we already have, it's beginning to become more than a little scary…

**Barry The Chopper: …You memorized that? You have no life.**

**Wrath: I AM, BUT YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT WORSE, SO LET GO BEFORE I KILL YOU!!!**

**Envy: I swear I'm going to destroy that thing…**

Ed: I'm not crazy, and I bet if you transformed into anything, it would be a shrimp! lol XD

To all: We chose Wing's Wish after we submitted that last one, so sorry. But anyways…

Winry: Can I borrow your wrench to ruin Ed's automail, and then fix it?

Hoshi-Ryuu 

Ed: What? What did you say? I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, AND KILL YOU UNTIL YOU ARE DEAD!!!!

**Al: Oh, well, that's okay **

**Winry: Uh…Sure…I guess…**

_Hee! Just one question_

Ed - In the movie when Alphonse slammed you into the stairs I laughed. Sorry, but you deserved it. You acted like a girl that was PMSing.

Wait! I have another! - Why did you pick on Wrath so much? And you realize that the way you acted probably no one truly likes you? Sorry to burst your bubble.

Dreams – United 

Ed: No way did I deserve it!! What's wrong with you!? And hey, Wrath had my limbs. Wouldn't you be kinda pissed, too? And I'm pretty sure that a LOT of people like me. Ha! So there!

Havoc: Your so cute! Will you ever get a girlfriend? I'm half your age, so don't even think about it!

Roy: Any tips on what guys like and how to break the ice with them?  
Hawkeye: Keep the Colonel in line!

Ed: You said you were agonistic. What's that?

Mean Fangirl Havoc: How come everyone's picking on me today…:,( 

**Roy: Hmm…well-**

**Ed: You don't wanna ask **_**him**_** that! He'll just give you some perverted answer!**

**Roy: I will not!**

**Riza: I sure will.**

**Ed: Agnostic is questioning god's existence. And atheist is not believing in a god at all.**

**Roy: Hey, do I get to answer my question?**

**Ed: NO!!**

Gum is pink! Therefore... Gum is evil!

To everyone: Just for the fun of saying it. I went sailing today with my class and I was put in a team with my three friends, Julia, Jamie and Justin. Well Justin's crazy and decided we needed a name. So the boat was the Blue Pearl and the crew was: Captain Jack Justin, Ms. Elizabeth Scott, Jamie Turner and Davey Jade XD! It was so much fun. And we had this major water fight on the sailboats and attacked the teachers!

Ed:  
Keep up with that attitude and I wont even write to you! Mr. Snooty! Hmph, now I'm not going to tell you what I was going to tell you, it was awesome by the way! Well, dern it! I have to tell you cuz if I don't then I'll forget because of my awful memory that is like non-existent. Ok, well I just added a bunch of Ed smilies and they are adorable!

Kimbley:  
Since I am such a NICE person (I hope everyone seen the 'nice' in there!) I wont kick you. And since YOU'RE such a nice person... And Scar wont do it, can you blow up my friends? Oh and my school? Heck, you can even blow up the school I'm going to next year! That'd be great!

Roy:  
Oh, yeah she's single! She wants to date you! Oh and don't listen to Riza, go for it! She isn't your mommy, you're a grown man and you can make your own decisions!

Scar:  
Ha! You wish I'd leave you alone! I go into like fan-girl mode when I really like someone! -jumps on your back like she's getting a piggy-back- I'm comfy. Ima stay like this forever!

Havoc:  
Good, now if you're done crying like a baby, I can tell you good news! I know an actual person who is of legal age and likes you! -shows pictures- See she's real!

Lust:  
You know what? You just hurt my feelings! -cries- Now I'm gonna have to tease and bug you till I feel better! Oh and by the way... -sneaks up behind you when you're in front of everyone, pulls down your sleezy strapless dress and runs away- AHAHAHAHAHAHA! REVENGE!

Friend...

Al:  
No you won't. Don't kid yourself, it'll make you more sad when you finally realize the truth.

Envy:  
Potty mouth! I oughta wash it out with soap! In fact -pulls out a big bar of Dove soap and sticks it in your mouth- that'll teach ya!

End of friends...

Everyone I'm gonna sing you a happy song I wrote myself!

(What I've been looking for - High School Musical)  
Its hard to believe,  
That you had to pee,  
Cuz you were already in the bathroom,  
Thought I would explode,  
With nowhere to go,  
Cuz you were already in the bathroom,  
This feelings like no other,  
I've got to goo!  
But there's nothing I can do,  
There's nowhere to poo,  
What can I do?  
Cuz there's nothing I can do,  
We need another loo,  
So I can poo,  
So tired while I,  
Tried to hold in my pee,  
Till you were no longer in the bathroom,  
Doo doody doo,  
Doo doody doo doo doo,  
Oh oh oh ohh,  
Doo doody doo,  
Doo doody doo doo doo,  
Oh oh oh oh oh,  
So good to see you walking out the door,  
Never felt so good before!  
And now I'm done,  
No longer dancing around,  
Or making waterfall-like sounds!

So whaddya think? Took me 3 hours to write that! Man am I tired!

Love you all! Cept Winry...  
The Bubble Wrap Alchemist!

Ed: Why does everyone keep talking about this bird guy? Geeze. Smilies, huh? Cool.

Kimbley: ) Sure thing, kid.

Roy: Well I would…except she'd probably shoot me. So how about we meet somewhere, hm?

Scar: Please get off of me before I get _really_ angry…

Havoc: YES! When can I meet her??

Lust: Well I'm just _so_ sorry. And I don't really mind, to tell you the truth. I _am_ Lust, after all. (pulls dress back up)

Al:( Um…okay.

Envy: BLRUGGGH MURRRPH BLEERRPHH!!

Ed: …That was just…disturbing.

All: Agreed.

Envy: BLMMMRPH!!!

_To Roy:  
- I'm so sorry... -huggles for 5 seconds- Anyway, I've got better things to do... Like hug Ed! -hugs Ed-  
To Ed:  
- NO! NEVER! Until you give Al a kitty!  
To Envy:  
- Because he's hot and short (no offence, Ed), and I'm hot and short!  
To Al:  
- Put these on... -gives glasses- They may look goofy, but at least you can see this invisible kitten! -hands kitten-I have another pair... Ed can't get these! (Except for the fact I'm still a fangirl and he can bribe me or something...)_

_Gothic Fangirl_

Roy: Sure you can't hold onto me for just a few more seconds? ;)

Ed: …WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THIS!?

Envy: …Loser.

Ed: See, the problem is, I'M RIGHT HERE, SO I KNOW ABOUT IT. Al, give it back.

Al: Uh…okey.

Ed: No, really, give it back. I'm not stupid.

Al: Okaaaay… (hands kitten back)

_Zilo and Saz again...with more questions/comments/random junk, because we like to take up your time:_

To Authoress: Amazing job on something so funny. Keep up the great work.

To Envy: Your fighting style is a lot of fun to watch (especially when you're knocking Ed around in Lab 5...no offense Ed) and I've heard some people say it reminds them of Capoeira. Is it a specific style or just something you picked up?

To Al: ...You're so cute (hugs)

To Scar: Even though you're always blowing people's brains out, I still like you...you're very dedicated if nothing else. And maybe a little misunderstood.

To Ed: Well, I can't leave you out, because I love you (hugs)

To Roy: Oh, well if that's all! (sarcasm) But where did other people get this idea that you're old? You're under thirty, aren't you? You're young!!

And now for my actual problem: My younger sister and I used to be really close. We did all kinds of things together, and we even wrote fanfics together. Then all of a sudden she doesn't like me, she doesn't want to hang out with me, she thinks I'm weird. I have no idea where this came from, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything. How do I handle this?

SAZ'S-CHAN'S STUFF

Ed: No, no, not short...well, okay yeah!! But my brother is 18, and he's 4'11'', so no worries!

Roy: COLONEL MUSTANG! (hugs) My first bishie! Man I love you...

Barry The Chopper: Why you always gotta chop? What about slash, slice, dice, poach, mince, all that junk? I bet you'd like a man-sized blender!! It has all those, plus puree! Whee! Oh, and can you violently dismember my ex? He's totally saying untrue things about me online...

Kimbley: And can you blow up the remains?

Havoc: You seem to be lacking in the girlfriend area...here check out this pic of my cousin! (shows picture) She's 22, and she LOVES you!!

_Zilo's Blue Pen_

BakaKonekoRKL: Thaaaaaaank youuuus (still tired…)

Envy: Heh heh…thanks. Really, it's just something I picked up.

Al: Thanks (blushes)

Scar: Thank you very much.

Ed: Heh heh…Thanks.

Roy: Doesn't everyone? ;)

Barry The Chopper: Of course I will! As long as you get me that man-sized blender!

Kimbley: Hell yeah!

Havoc: Awesome!! Now there are TWO girls who I can officially date!!

_A/N Uh…once again, I messed up. Sorry ' I APOLOGIZE!!! See, I AM still really super tired!!_

_Ok I'm new in you FMA Question Answers thingie, and I came up with a bunch of embarrassing as hell questions.  
To Ed:  
1. You are not that small compared to other people, heck some adults barely reach 4 ft, have you ever watch a show 'Little People Big World'? The smallest adult in history would reach three feet!  
2. If Roy ever bugs you again, knee him in the groin, (with your auto-leg) then he'll bow lower than you, crying in rivers.  
3. How did you feel when you found out that Wrath actually took your arm and leg and is using it for evil purpose?  
4. You know that Roy is useless during the rain right? Well why don't you rub it in his face. Lets add the fact that you can use Alchemy without circles (Though I'm sure he doesn't want to loose a limb the have that ability...)  
To Al:  
1. Have you ever gone through puberty and gain leg hairs? I'm asking because in one of the manga, on the 'extra comic strips section' you grew leg hairs.  
2. If you ever really did get a cat, what would you name her and him (notice the her and him that means two separate names...unless you give a name that is both boy and girl...)  
3. You know that's sad that you run away from Ed with a cat in your armor. I don't know if the cat ever suffer trauma from it (not intended to offend you or anything, Al-kun, I just love you to death to do that, YOU ARE SO CUTE!)  
4. Why don't you get a cat that will so totally follow you around, is smart not to get in the line of fire, and can feed on it's own, that way you and Ed don't have to worry as much and you still get the pleasure to cuddle with it. (ED LET HIM HAVE A CAT YOU BLOODY smacks her own mouth to prevent from getting any further...ehehe sorry?)  
to Roy:  
1. Ok first off I don't hate you, but I don't love you either. Just to let you know that you are not the most irresistible person in the world, nor are the most handsome in the world, there are a few people that can so totally kick your ass on the looks department, like say, ohh I don't know, EDWARD ELRIC!  
2. How does it feel to have your ass saved by Riza from Scar on a rainy day grins evilly. You're useless during the rain, huh?  
3. Would you rather straddle naked on a cactus or would you rather get locked up in jail for one month (without your 'special' gloves) with a REALLY horny cellmate? (Sorry, like I said, I came up with really embarrassing questions) AND YOU CAN'T BACK OUT ON THE QUESTIONS!  
4. DO YOUR DANG PAPERWORK! I'm even bigger pyromaniac than you are...you know what I'm Pryokenetic myself so that means that I can make flames on my own power, so I will help Riza in making sure you get you paperwork done.  
To Envy:  
1. What. Is. Up. With. Your. Getup? Why so much skin and legs shudders SERIOUSLY. HOW. CAN. YOU. WEAR. A. MINISKRIT! And people are going to mistake you for a palm tree in the dark...  
2. I know you hate Ed's guts, the fact that you killed him is a sure fact, but the more you fight with him, the more the crazy people out there are going to get ideas...(you don't want to know what some of those idea's are...)  
To Riza:  
1. YOU ROCK GIRL! And I really like your method in keeping people in check, especially with your dog, Black Hayate. (gods know how much problems I get with my own three dogs)  
To Havoc:  
1. ...Do you want to try an online dating service...? I'll make sure I help Riza in keeping Roy safe flames erupt from her hand I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT!  
To Lust:  
1. Laughs like a maniac You know not long ago I read a comic from and there was a section where Envy read a really embarrassing part about your life, so get a load of this; Scar's brother sacrificed his family jewel to try to revive you. Laughs like a maniac again  
To Scar:  
1. Same thing with Lust; I read a comic from Deviantart and read that Greed was telling you to use your family jewels, before it shrivels up like a raisin...crackles like loony  
To Everyone in FMA:  
1. Do not, I repeat DO NOT go on. You'll only find some of the most ridiculous, perverted, funny as hell of your selves and everyone around you. My case rests on Scar and Lust.  
Dragon260_

Ed: …Well that definitely makes me feel better…And I would, except he's usually behind his desk when he torments me. Needless to say, I was VERY pissed off. And yeah, that's actually a pretty good idea…

Al: Eheh heh…no, actually. Uh, I dunno, it'd have to depend on what it looked like. Oh no! Do you think it's suffered trauma!? But thanks well…yeah…but it might be a bit hard to get a cat like that…

Ed: No I will NOT!

Roy: No way. And so what, I made a mistake. Big deal, everybody does. Hmm…The second one, as long as it was a woman ;) I will…when I feel like it…

Envy: Grrr……IT'S NOT A FCUKING MINISKIRT!!!!!!! AND NO THEY WON'T!! And I bet I don't.

Riza: Thanks so much Black Hayate's really well trained now.

Havoc: Sure!!

Lust & Scar: What are you _talking _about? That never happened!

Everyone Else: Whatever you say…

_So, I'm super sorry that I didn't get a chance to answer the rest of the questions (I SWEAR I'll get to them next time, so please just be patient!!), but I have a birthday party to go to in…half an hour. And I'm still in my pajamas!! Oh crap…And as a side note, NEVER try to make ramen WHILE you're typing an advice column…take it from me ' Anyway, I'll answer as many reviews as I can next time, as long as my computer works again! My lovely computer…_


	46. Chapter 46

My computer is still a little…"special", as we like to say, but it's being good right now. Goooood computer Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll be able to put another chapter up this week, as I have TaeKwonDo all day (from 10 to 7) tomorrow and Wednesday (from 10 to 3), and Thursday's my birthday (yippie. More anime!), but I'll try. Hey, you never know. I'll also try not to skip around with reviews this time. But hey, you never know.

_Ed  
-I looked up on Wikipedia about Napoleon syndrome, and you definitely have it. If you don't know what it is, look it up._

Al  
-I seen an OVA of FMA after the movie and in a picture Ed was looking at, you're taller than Ed.

Roy  
-just stop complaining and procrastinating, and maybe you'll get your work done.

Harryswoman 

**Ed: …I DO NOT!!!!!!!!!**

**Al: Uh…while that may be true…**

**Ed: No way, I'm definitely taller.**

**Al: Right…heh.**

**Roy: Eh.**

_Homunculi-if you knew Dante had no intention of giving you your humanity and would betray and kill you all at the drop of a hat would have done things differently?_

Envy-if you were aware that Ed hated Hohenheim as much as you do would you have still gone through with your vendetta or ask Ed to help you kill the deadbeat?

State Alchemists-you do realize you keep causing your own problems, first with that Ishbalan War, because I mean come on why couldn't you have tried diffusing the situation instead of the mass genocide which resulted in Scar's vendetta then you kidnap Wrath who's only crime was being a Homunculus and caused him to run into a closet where Envy could have his way with him (not that way you yaoi crazed perverts) and now you have a psychopath to deal with (am I the only one who sees the pattern here?).

**Lust: Of course.**

**Envy: Ha! Of course not. I could easily kill her. And I would've killed that little pipsqueak anyway, because that bastard is his father, whether he likes him or not.**

**Roy: A lot of us didn't know what was being done with Wrath, as it was being done in secrecy. As for the Ishbalan War, we have to follow our Fuhrer, who was a Homunculus. And anyway, we had no idea that something like Scar would happen.**

_More questions and comments from me._

Ed and Al and everyone else that thinks they can help- I have this friend, it's actually the one that gave you all names, if you remember, and well, she hurts herself, and now, despite my protest, she's started to go bulimic too, but she's already as skinny as a stick, her parents know about the cutting. I've tried everything to stop her, and the only other person I can talk to about this just went to North Carolina the day she went bulimic and I can't get a hold of her. She needs help, but her parents know and we are out of school so I can't tell any teacher, and I just don't know what to do, I've tried EVRYTHING!

Fletcher- I miss my one friend; will you be my friend till she gets back?

Russell- Eat this hands him a cup of pudding Don't worry there's nothing wrong with it, I'm just bored and wanted to give you something.

Heiderich- I like you do you like me?

Moofy-Fan 

**Al: Her parents should really be doing something about it, but until you can find someone else to help you, keep trying to dissuade her from it. Let her know about all of the terrible things that can happen if she continues (you can find these things out online) and always stick with it. Also, support her parents in trying to get her to stop; let them know about **_**everything**_**. Don't worry about her getting mad at you, because that's not as bad as her dying. There are also places she can go if it gets **_**really **_**serious (though it may be a good idea to stop it before it gets that bad), and they can usually make the person better. Good luck!**

**Fletcher: Uhm, okay.**

**Russell: …Are you sure it's not poison?**

**Heiderich: Uh, I guess so.**

It's me again... DONUTS WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

To Ed:  
I'm not letting go of you until you kiss me! And transmute me a chocolate bar! (That's right, I'm back to obsessive fangirl mode!)

To Scieszka:  
I don't know about other people, but I'm a big fan of yours!

To Mustang:  
If you had to choose between these three girls, who would you choose?  
Bachelorette #1: A woman with a pink and purple Mohawk, piercings and tattoos all over her body, and road rage.  
Bachelorette #2: A woman around the age of 80, who spends her time knitting and pinching your cheek.  
Bachelorette #3: A spoiled little six-year-old girl who will scream and cry until you buy her candy and toys.  
Tough choice, huh? No backing out of this one!

-HisokaYukiko

Ed: NO!! I'm NOT going to kiss you and I'll ONLY give you chocolate if you let go!!!

**Scieszka: Oh, thanks so much **

**Roy: …Yes I can. I can just refuse to answer you. I mean, I really don't have the time. I have a lot of work to do…**

**Riza: That's never stopped you before, sir.**

**Roy: SHHH!!**

Ed: Well you're the one that made the conversation go further than it was supposed to... so it's your fault and how is it scary?

Barry: No... I had to look in my profile book and look around in my manga books... -whacks him over the head- I DO HAVE A LIFE, UNLIKE YOU!!

Wrath: -smiles and lets go- okay!

Envy: Aw... but why? YouTube is soo much fun!

Lust and Scar: -grabs a stool, stands on it, and pats their heads- You two seem to get picked on a lot, don't you?

Shoushin 

**Ed: CAN WE JUST GET OFF THE TOPIC!?!?**

**Barry The Chopper: At least I don't talk to non-living people all the time!**

**Wrath: THANK you.**

**Envy: YouTube is going to die in a firey explosion of death.**

**Ed: That's as violent as you're gonna get?**

**Envy: DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!?**

**Lust & Scar: You mean like right now?**

I'M BACK with vengeance to make several people in FMA lives miserable. Ok I'll start with  
HUGHES:  
1. You know my family has a whole bunch of digital cameras? Well I'm giving you one so you can take like a gazillion pics of your WONDERFULLY CUTE, ADORABLE DAUGHTER! XP Oh and I must not forget the hard drive so you can save all those pictures into your computer. And this digital camera has a screen pics (meaning you can show and bug everyone within twenty miles with it)  
Al:  
1. Do you want my cat? Because for some reason he hates us and my mom and dad hates him. His name is Sylvester and he is a HUGE cat! Like...three feet to four feet from head to tail, and one and a half feet from paws to head. He's a smart cat in survival instincts and knows how to feed himself...  
Ed:  
1. Glad that I can help you make you feel better about yourself.  
2. AND YOU ARE HOT, SO IGNORE MUSTANG!...sorry...blame some unknown sugar that makes me hyper at random moments...  
Roy:  
1. Sorry to say that the horny cellmate would be a bald man with intimidating looks, piercings, and tattoos...  
2. YES EDWARD IS SO MUCH MORE HOTTER THAN YOU...sorry...sugar again...  
Gluttony:  
1. ...Where does all of the food go...?  
2. If I transmute Lust into chocolate, would you eat her? -mumbles- be good to get rid of her...  
Lust:  
1. Take no offense in anything, its just I'm not too fond of you.  
2. ...Hm and yes I would very much like it to maim your face, burn your hair, grease up your face to give you pimples, and hand Barry the Chopper to chop off your two melons...  
Barry:  
1. Could you do me one slight favor for me, please...CHOP LUST'S BOOBS OFF!! -cackles like a looney-  
Wrath:  
1. Do you want a pet mouse?  
2. Even though you are cute, that was just sick that you took Ed's arm and leg...  
2. Do you want a cookie? I can make any kind.  
Ed, Al, and Izumi:  
1. Loosing someone that you love dearly can make you do stupid stuff, huh? Well you guys are not alone; I lost my Grandma on Valentine Day. I love her so much...

HORRAY SCHOOLS OUT...O.o...that might be why I was acting like a looney...LOVE YOU ALL FMA, except a selected few. -Glares at Lust-

Dragon260 

**Hughes: That would be wonderful! Thank you so much! **(runs into Military meeting room) **Hey, guys, you'll never guess what I just got!!…**

**Al: Uhh…really, that's okay.**

**Ed: Yeah, I know.**

**Roy: You are not. And why does everything involve some person with tattoos and piercings today?**

**Gluttony: Uhhhhhhh…my stomach? No eating Lust!!!**

**Lust: I understand that…But really, if I didn't look like this, could I really be "Lust"?**

**Barry The Chopper: I would, but she'd probably be able to grow them back and then kill me. Never mess with a Homunculus…**

**Wrath: No to the first and last. And as for the second one…Well, it wasn't exactly my choice! Though I'm not complaining…**

**Al & Izumi: I'm so sorry…**

**Ed: Just don't try resurrecting her with Alchemy.**

Saz's stuff is first this time...for some reason...

Barry the Chopper: YAY! (lugs in man-sized blender) And make sure you put the top on before you start it up! (evil grin) Oh e-ex...IT'S KILLIN' TIME!!

Roy: ...YAY!! HE WINKED AT ME! (hugs) So not letting go!

Dante: ...I don't know, I just like your name! And your hair!

Kimbley: While we're on the subject of blowing up stuff, would you mind visiting this address? (hands over a piece of paper) A certain severe, I've-got-a-pole-up-my- piano teacher needs to have her walls repainted red...heheheh...

Anyone: Want a pie?

MY STUFF

To Envy: (AGAIN, b-cuz he's my fav) I saw an AMV starring you. It was WICKED. Hey, did you know there's a cell phone named after you?

To Greed: And did you know there's a game show named after you?

To Winry and Riza: Do you guys think if you switched deadly weapons you'd still be as effective in subduing the guys in your lives?

To Ed and Al: No questions, just want an excuse to hug ya (hugs)

Zilo's Blue Pen 

Barry The Chopper: Heh heh! Sure thing. Thanks, kid.

Roy: Not that I don't enjoy this, but you've got to let go at some point.

Dante: Well gee, thanks.

**Kimbley: Sure thing. Heh heh heh…**

**Al: Well, I would, but I can't really eat. Sorry '**

**Envy: Oh really? Well then, it's got to be awesome.**

**Greed: No way! Heh heh, so then I get the profits from it, right?**

**Winry: Of course. I just have to shoot at them; that's easy.**

**Riza: Probably. I don't know if a wrench would be as effective, but I might be able to make it work.**

BakaKonekoRKL: Okay, since I am a horrible person who should be shot and forgot to answer your actual question last time, I'll do that now. But I've learned my lesson so that it never happens again: Never answer advice while making ramen when you're tired. And to refresh everyone's memories, here's the question:

_And now for my actual problem: My younger sister and I used to be really close. We did all kinds of things together, and we even wrote fanfics together. Then all of a sudden she doesn't like me, she doesn't want to hang out with me, she thinks I'm weird. I have no idea where this came from, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything. How do I handle this?  
_Winry: I don't know how old she is, but maybe it's just because she's starting to grow up? She could be more interested in things like boys now, but that's depending on her age. What you could try to do is get her to spend more time with you; have a sister-sister bonding day. Take her to the movies or for ice cream, and just talk about everything and anything. If she doesn't want to, it may be best to just let it be; little siblings can be like that sometimes.

_Envy- Sideshow Bob is some random guy from the Simpson's he has hair like you oh don't say that to a thirteen year old on antidepressants they tend not to care  
I called you Kimbley-chan heh heh heh!  
What was that Edo?  
Scar, for some random reason you are the Jedi master (don't ask)._

_roxie-san_

Envy: Whatever that is. But I'm still going to kill you.

Kimbley: Yeah, I noticed! Not a smart thing to call a guy who can easily blow you up!!!!

Ed: I pretty much said to never do that again.

Scar: …I feel that I must. And yet, I'm not sure that I want to know the answer.

_To Roy:  
- You see, here's the problem... I don't hug pirates...  
To Ed:  
- Um... I like chocolate milk?  
To Envy:  
- ...Palm tree.  
To Al:  
- Don't worry! Someday you'll get a kitty! Um... ask Ed if you can have a plushie that looks like a cat! (I have one that looks like Ed...XD)_

_Gothic Fangirl_

Roy: For the last time, I AM NOT A PIRATE!!

Ed: Well I don't. Ew. Gross.

Envy: NO I AM NOT!!! So leave me alone about it!!!

Al: Oh, a lot of fangirls have already donated plushie kitties to me But I'd still like a real one…

_Havoc: horrified HOW DARE YOU! GO BUNKY! Sends her Pokemon Stunky to bite Havoc_

Armstrong: No offense...but are you an alien from the planet BEEPOE who wanta a fanta?

Ed: Got milk?

Winry: I have a friend who is a fanboy of you! Will you date him?

Pinako: Is there really Natto (Fermented soybeans) in your weird hairstyle?

Roy: EAT MENTOS! THEY WILL MAKE YOUR TEETH GO SPARKILY AND YOU WILL BE COOL LIKE ARMSTRONG!

Envy: Can you feel the sunshine? CAN YOU FEEL IT!??! cue horror music

_Mean Fangirl_

Havoc: AAAHHHH!! GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!!!!!

Armstrong: No…no I'm not.

Winry: Um, tell him I'm sorry, but I don't think I really want to see anybody at this time.

Pinako: (smirk) Maybe, maybe not…

Roy: I hate to break it to you, but I'm already cooler than he is.

Envy: What the hell? What are you on????

_Well, I tried not to mess up again…Yet I kinda did. I accidentally turned my computer off and lost like a question, and it took me FOREVER to get it back on. Sigh…So I apologize a million times for not being able to answer all of the questions again today. Stupid, stupid, stupid!…But maybe tomorrow before TKD I'll get started on answering them, okay? And to make up for my stupidity, I've decided to post chapter 4 of A Collection of Drabbles and the final chapter of While You Were Gone, which were already typed up and I was going to put up on my birthday. But I won't let myself feel special because I was stupid. Lol. Sorry again, and I'll put those 2 questions I missed into the next chapter along with the reviews that you're about to leave right now!_


	47. Chapter 47

I want to apologize for two things. One is the length of this column. I'm really, really sorry, guys, but I could not get my computer to work for about five hours. Yeah. So any donations for the "Get a computer for BakaKonekoRKL" fund are encouraged. Hee…just kidding. Secondly, I'm also sorry because, well, here's my schedule for today and yesterday. Yesterday I was at TaeKwonDo from 10 until 7 when I hadn't gotten to bed until 1am the night before. I also stayed up until 1am that night and I worked at TKD from 10 until 2 today. So if I'm a little OOC or something like that, please forgive me. But enough about me, tell me about you…

You smell like lint and belly-buttons!

Ed:  
What bird guy? Also, I missed FMA on Friday (like an idiot) and it was the one after you get your automail blown up and stuff (It's like Reunion on Yock Island or something) can you tell me what happens?

Kimbley:  
Hmm, you're nicer than Scar!!...OK, I don't know why, but I LIKE being called kid. It may be because I'm not and someone calls me that and practically only that so I'm used to it. You kick ass!

Roy:  
Sure, how 'bout you meet her...Hmm, how bout you decide where to meet her and I'll tell her! You remind me of a faun for some reason... (Has just watched Pans labyrinth)

Scar:  
Once again, HA you wish! Erm, well ok :(. Your lucky I watched Apocalypto! There's a really cute guy in there and now I'm not obsessed anymore!

Al:  
Don't listen to her! Keep your hopes up and bug your brother! You'll get a cat!

Envy:  
I suppose you've had enough, did you learn your lesson? If you swear at me again then the soaps going right back in there! -Takes soap out-

To All:  
My wonderful song is NOT disturbing! You all are. You see, if you're disturbing than everything else will seem disturbing because you think your not disturbing so everything else is disturbing to you, when really. Its not! You understand?

Tootles!  
The Bubble Wrap Alchemist!

**Ed: You know! That sparrow man. Well, I don't really know which episode you're talking about, since there's none with that name, but if you go to that Wikipedia website and type in "Full Metal Alchemist" in the search thingi, it will take you to a page. If you go towards the bottom where some more links are, it will give you an episode guide. Check it out there.**

**Kimbley: Well, I wouldn't exactly say that I'm **_**nice**_**, per say, but I know what you're getting at. So thanks.**

**Roy: Of a what? Hmm, ok, I'll pick her up at 8, how's that sound?**

**Scar: Well that's good.**

**Al: YEAH!! . **

**Envy: YOU STUPID BITCH!!! HOW DARE YOU!?!? I SWEAR I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU, YOU LITTLE—**

**Ed: Why did you even bother to take it out? And by the way, I'm pretty sure that no one understood that.**

O.K., so two updates later I'm finally responding to your...last response. Sorry Al, I thought I explained why you already. It's only because of how much I love you. smiles Anyway, here's another interesting little thing...

At least three times this month, something has happened and I've sustained a minor injury. I slept wrong and woke up with numb limbs, I didn't notice a down step and got scrapes, I was roughhousing with a friend and a spray bottle and said bottle cut me, twice. Each time, it was two specific things. The bottle scraped my right index knuckle and left knee. My left knee was also scraped...as was my right elbow. The limbs that I woke up with numb? Right arm and left leg. Individually, I don't think much of these occurrences, though I do laugh about the fact that Ed wouldn't have gotten hurt at all with these particular injuries...three in less then a month? Do you think my subconscious obsession with you guys is controlling how I land when I take a fall or something like that? Or is it just coincidence? I realize this is largely an opinion question, but I'm curious what you think.

Oh, note to Al: Remember my first question? The advice you gave? Well, where Shakespeare failed, Peirs Anthony succeeded! Thanks for the tip!

O.K., so now I'll just randomly hug Roy, backtrack, hug Al apologetically, and walk away...

FriendlyFangirl88 

**Ed: Maybe…or maybe you're just a klutz.**

**Winry: I dunno, they say things like that can happen…**

**Ed: She's just obsessing over it. Nothing's going on.**

**Winry: I think there is!**

**Ed: No way!**

**Al: Uh…heh heh. Well I'm glad it worked! Oh, and thanks **

**Roy: You could've held on longer, you know…**

I feel like being annoying today, do you guys mind?  
(Mostly all of this is for the Homunculi)  
To Envy:  
- What does Envy mean?  
To Wrath:  
- What does Wrath mean?  
To Lust:  
- What does Lust mean?  
To Gluttony:  
- What does Gluttony mean?  
To Pride:  
- What does Pride mean?  
To Sloth:  
- What does Sloth mean?  
To Greed:  
- What does Greed mean?  
(And back to where we were)  
To Roy:  
- Then what's with the eye patch?  
To Ed:  
- You know my 11-year-old cousin is the same height as you?  
To Envy:  
- You need a hug. -huggles, lets go then backs away-  
To Al:  
- You'll survive.

Gothic Fangirl 

**Envy: Jealousy. You idiot.**

**Wrath: Anger! Ok?!**

**Lust: …I think it would be easier if you went to look it up.**

**Gluttony: Eat……**

**Pride: I agree with Lust.**

**Sloth: Yeah, I don't really feel like telling you, so look it up.**

**Greed: To be greedy? You want stuff!!**

**Roy: Um, I got my eye shot out, remember?**

**Ed: NO WAY, YOU'RE LYING!!!!**

**Envy: Don't ever do that again.**

**Al: Uh. Thanks.**

Ed: Fine... oh wait... I want to say something else to you... I know why your short... cuz your automail's weight stunts your growth... so you can blame Winry for your shortness... -pats Ed's head- I don't even need a stool to pat your head!

Barry: I don't talk to non-living people all the time... I have friends... unlike you...

Wrath: Welcome -hugs him-

Envy: I have a problem with that... You can't kill YouTube... it's fun!!

Lust & Scar: What do you mean like right now? All I'm doing is patting your heads... and I better stop before you two decide to kill me or something... -gets off stool-

Shoushin 

**Ed: No, it's not her fault that I'm…WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!?**

**Barry The Chopper: Hey, I have friends! Well…I did…until I chopped them up…**

**Wrath: Greeeeeat…So let go.**

**Envy: Too bad!!**

**Lust & Scar: Good idea.**

Donuts... donuts... donuts... FRENCH TOAST!

To Ed, Al, and Envy:  
I saw a picture of Ed as a shrimp, Al as a trash can, and Envy as a palm tree. LMFAO!

To Ed:  
(Lets go of his leg) Now will you give me a chocolate bar?

To Mustang:  
YOU MUST ANSWER THE QUESTION! OR I WILL HAUNT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS!

-HisokaYukiko

Ed: WHOEVER DID THAT MADE IT EXTEMEMLY INACCURATE, AS I AM NOT A TINY PIECE OF SEAFOOD!!!!!

**Al: A what? -.-'**

**Envy: Like I haven't heard that before. Shut up.**

**Ed: …Fine. **(transmutes a chocolate bar out of…something) **Here you go.**

**Roy: I doubt it. No, I won't.**

Saz's stuff first again.

Roy: Hm...nah! (keeps hugging)

Riza: Hope you don't mind, but I'm never letting go of your boss!

Dante: You're welcome! Compliment your stylist for me!

(sniffs) Well, fine! (smashes the pie in Envy's face)

MY STUFF

To Authoress: Nah, you shouldn't be shot today. Thank you for the advice. It really helped. I put it into action immediately and talked to my sister about the problem (over lunch which I MYSELF paid for), and she apologized and said that she just wants to hang out more with her own age group now (because we're nine years apart, so that makes sense) So basically we'll still do stuff together sometimes, just not all the time like before.

To Envy: Yeah, I saw the commercials for it. They mentioned all seven sins, too. 'Twas HI-LARIOUS. But the phone wasn't green, what's up with that?

To Greed: Actually, a lot of people totally lose all their winnings on that show on a regular basis because they're IDIOTS. The money's got to go somewhere, right?

To Winry and Riza: The thought of Winry carrying a deadly gun made me crack up. Oh dear, hope I haven't put ideas in your head...but yes, I think Riza could pull off the wrench really well.

To Lust: I don't think there's anything named after you except this weird lipstick I bought the other day. The color is "Crimson Lust" which kinda creeps me out. Maybe the makers are sending a subtle hint...they want you to wear it...

To All Homunculi: I just realized, there's a bunch of lipstick colors called Sinfuls or something like that. There's probably one for all of you.

To Envy (again): I forgot to mention, I'm writing an FMA fanfic starring you, and it's coming along pretty well. You've already killed about six people, but I wasn't so sure of the body count. What do you think? More, less, or none?

Zilo's Blue Pen 

**Roy: Uh……**

**Riza: You're going to have to sometime. I mean, he has to go to work, and what are you going to do when he has to take a shower, and things like that?**

**Roy: Hawkeye, she's a fangirl. You really shouldn't ask questions like that.**

**Riza: …Point taken. But, uh, you really should let go…**

**Dante: I'm not one to give out compliments like that…but I understand.**

**Envy: GOD DAMN IT!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Whew. I get to live long enough to turn 16 **_**and**_** go to the anime con!! Well, I'm glad it worked. If I ever do something like that again, **_**please**_** let me know Oh, and I've seen the Envy commercial, too. If I had any money I'd totally get it, just for the name.**

**Envy: Hmm, well what color was it? If it wasn't green, it should at least be black.**

**Greed: Heh, heh. Stupid humans.**

**Winry: I don't know if you've read the manga, but I have picked up a gun before…**

**Riza: Um…thanks.**

**Lust: I don't really need any make-up, but thanks anyway.**

**Envy: **_**Definitely**_** more…heh heh…**

Like I said, I'm really super sorry for the length of this!! I was actually going to try to do a few more, but as there's a thunderstorm going on right now and it's super windy, I figure I'd better post this before a) I get electrocuted or b) the power goes out. But I'll post the next chapter with the remaining questions and as many new ones as I can next week, if my computer works. Also, next Thursday-Sunday I'll be at AnimeNEXT, so I won't be able to answer questions then, but if anyone's going, lemme know!!!


	48. Chapter 48

So my computer is slightly better. Very odd. Well anyway……Actually, I'll post info about next week at the end. PLEASE READ IT. Enjoy!!

_More questions and comments from me._

Russell-Of course it's not poisonous, I've gotten over my need to kill you, and if I wanted to, I'd just hire Envy to do it. Now, eat the pudding.

Al- Thanks, but I don't know how to tell her parents, I don't have her phone number. But everything else you said was good. Oh, and my sister wants to know what would you name a cat-bunny chimera?

Envy-Are you allergic to anything? Can homunculi be allergic to anything?

Everybody- do you know what WaterIce is, cause I had some earlier, and it's really good.

_Moofy-Fan_

**Russell: Ok, ok. **(eats pudding, because he figures if he doesn't, she'll decide to hate him again and try to kill him)

Al: Oh, ok, good . Uhm…I dunno, it depends on what it would look like. I mean, I couldn't name it Snowflake if it was brown or black, right?

**Ed: Snowflake?**

**Al: I was just giving an example!!**

**Envy: No, we can't. And I have no idea what that is.**

_Fuery: You remind me of Radar 'O Reilly from MASH (an old show, like 80s/70s). Are you his long lost twin?_

Roy: You're not cool! You steal poor cute Havoc-chan's girlfriends! And you have squinty eyes! Will you stop being a moron?!?! Good god, I can't believe you!

Barry: AH! I CHOPPED OFF MY ARM! HELP ME! Please?

Ed: runs up to him, snogs him, and runs off THAT'S FOR BEING A MIDGET!

Lust: ...You scare me. Can you kill the monkey in my closet?

Envy: I'm on fruit gushers.

Mean fangirl 

Fuery: Um…no. First of all, I've never heard of him, and secondly, I'm not that old.

**Roy: It's not **_**my **_**fault that they find me more attractive than him.**

**Havoc: WHO ARE YOU CALLING "CHAN"?!?!?**

**Barry The Chopper: …I can help you chop the rest of your body up :)**

**Ed: HEY! FIRST OF ALL, I AM NOT A TINY INSECT SO SMALL THAT YOU NEED A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO SEE, AND SECONDLY, EVEN IF I WAS, THAT'S NO REASON TO PICK ON ME!!!!!!**

**Lust: Um, no.**

Envy: And I am just oh so happy for you.

Her evilness is back!  
Envy Sideshow Bob I do not care about dying; not one bit   
Kimbley you realize that I want you to kill me right?  
Ed -shoves a cookie in his mouth- ha! ha! Napoleon complex!  
Scar just don't ask  
Dante burn in hell!  
I will be back!

_roxie-san_

Envy: Good, then I'll kill you.

**Kimbley: No, I think I'll be the one to do that.**

**Ed: MRMPH!! MPH!!**

**Scar: Fine then, I won't.**

**Dante: Same to you.**

_Ed:  
First of all, you're hands down my favorite character, but I'm not one of those crazy fangirls, so you don't have to worry (they scare me). Now for the questions/comments!_

1) I hate milk too! How can anyone drink that stuff, it's disgusting! And I completely agree with you on the cat issue, you guys travel way too much to have an added responsibility.  
2) Ed, you totally admitted you were short in the manga! Don't try to deny it! I have witnesses points to Winry and Al But we love you anyway glomps onto him  
3) Did you ever get around to telling Winry about what happened with Crosse? winkwink  
4) What would you do if you saw a little girl holding the REAL Philosopher's Stone? Would you steal it from her when she wasn't looking?  
5) You should grow a goatee; it'll look great on you!

Riza:  
1) Since your father was such a great alchemist, were you ever interested in learning alchemy? And how did you react to being reassigned as the Fuhrer's new secretary?  
2) I've been trying to grow out my hair for the longest time. I noticed that throughout the series your hair grew a lot! What did you do to make it grow that fast?

Scar:   
1) I don't get your whole "revenge against all State Alchemists" thing. They didn't all kill your brother, so why don't you just kill the one that did? Murder isn't going to bring him back anyway.  
2) What is your real name? Is it Chester, cause you look like a Chester to me.

Winry:  
1) Automail is so cool! Could you teach me how to make it?

Mei Chan:  
1) Exactly how disappointed were you when you first met Ed? Have you told Al about your crush on him yet? Once he gets his body back I'm sure you two will look so cute together! And Xiao Mei is so adorable!

Ling:  
1) As awesome as you are as the new Greed, I sure hope you have some sort of plan to get back control over your body.

Ran Fan:  
1) I think it was so romantic how you sacrificed your arm for Ling! But I still think you should get automail, no matter what Fu says – you'll be able to protect Ling much better.

Wrath:  
1) I know you can't survive without your daily sugar rush (neither can I) so here! hands over super-sized box of Pixy Stix That's pure sugar right there!

Hughes:  
1) I'd love to see pictures of Elysia! Can I baby-sit for her sometime? She's so cute!

Izumi:  
1) If you wanted children so much, why didn't you adopt a kid?

Nina:   
1) It stinks what your dad did to you and Alexander. If you could come back to life (as a human), do you think you'd hate him? Would you be best friends with Elysia?

Al:  
1) Here, have a virtual cat:  
_　／__l__、__  
__（ﾟ､ ｡ ７__  
__l__、 __ヽ__  
__　じし__f, )__ノ___

Everyone:  
1) If you had a two-month summer vacation, what would you do?  
2) Now for some real advice-seeking! Thanks to my dad, I now have an irrational fear of vacuum cleaner attachments. What should I do to solve this problem?

I'll have more questions next time! Bye!

-qtpie235

Ed: Thanks. BUT I NEVER SAID THAT I WAS SHORT BECAUSE I'M NOT!!!!

Winry: What happened with Crosse?

Ed: Um…Nothing.

Winry: You're lying to me.

Ed: No I'm not!! …Uh... Well, anyway, I'd probably be able to get it from her…maybe pay her for it or something if I had to. And there's no way I'm growing one of those things.

Riza: I was a little bit for a time. As a child I'd flip through his books, but I never really tried to learn it. I was shocked and upset when I learned that information. Um, I didn't do much, I just didn't cut it at all. Not even a trim.

Scar: No, that's true. However, I harbor a hate for them for destroying our home. This was all I could do. That's not my name, and I will not tell you what it is. I'm sorry.

Winry: Oh, I'd love to!! Unfortunately, it takes a lot of time and practice to learn how to make it, and that's time that I currently don't have…but you could get some books and read up on it. I know this place in Rush Valley that has _hundreds_ of books on automail!

Mei: Very disappointed. (sigh) O-oh, no I haven't! (blushes) But thank you

Ling: Um…right. Why wouldn't I?

Ran Fan: I might…I really don't know at this point.

Wrath: xD YEAAAAAAHH!!!

Hughes: Of course!! I'll show you as many pictures as you want when you come over!

Izumi: Adopting is much different than having a child yourself.

Nina: I don't think I could ever hate my daddy. He was just trying to help us to keep living like we were. Elysia sounds nice )

Al: Ummm…I can't really see it. I'm sorry. But I'm sure it looks really nice.

Roy: Hook up with as many girls as I could.

Riza: Keep an eye on the Colonel.

Roy: But you do that all the time, anyway! So it's not really a vacation.

Riza: _Somebody's _got to do it.

Ed: Vacuum cleaner attachments? The only thing I can say to this one is to either stay out of the way when your dad's vacuuming, or just face your fear.

_Hallo, FMA peoples!_

All: Okay, here's the deal. It's summer, so I like to stay up late and sleep late, right? Well, I find that if I try to go to sleep early, I just lay in bed until I don't go to sleep until after I usually would, and on average I wake up about two forty-five in the afternoon. My twin sister and/or my best friend will probably eat my soul if I don't start waking up before twelve. Any ideas? Maybe I would_ sleep better if Envy would CROCHET ME A BLANKET! ((hinthintwinkwinknudgenudge))_

Neassa-chan

Envy: No way, so don't even think about it.

Al: Two things could work. One is that you could gradually go to bed earlier and earlier, by fifteen minutes or so. Soon you'll get used to it. The other thing you could do it go to bed late one night and wake up early the next day, and you'll be tired that night so you'll go to bed earlier and wake up earlier, and if you continue to go to bed earlier, you should be fine.

Ed: I don't see why they won't just let you sleep. Maybe you should just lock your door or something.

_Ed: Well... I said you were short... and then I said that I don't need a stool to pat your head...which is true... I don't... -still patting his head-_

Barry: See! You DID have friends... but you don't now! So...HA!!

Wrath: Aw... fine... I'll hug someone else...

Envy: ... -yanks on his hair- Bad Envy!!

Lust & Scar: ... This won't be a good idea... but... -hugs them both-

_Shoushin_

Ed: WOULD YOU STOP THAT!

Barry The Chopper: I still have friends! Well, I don't know if you would call them friends, exactly, more like…acquaintances…you know what I mean.

Wrath: Good. You go do that.

Envy: WHY YOU LITTLE!! YOU BETTER WATCH IT, OR I'LL DO SOMETHING TO YOU THAT'LL MAKE YOU REGRET DOING THAT!!!!

Scar: (reaches out his hand)

Lust: (nails grow out and stab in the shoulder)

_Bubble gum! Bazooka bubble gum! Yum!_

To Ed, Al, and Envy:  
Don't take it out on me. I'm not the one who drew it. I don't think that lowly of you guys.

To Ed:  
1. CHOCOLATE! YUMMY!  
2. Here's something to make your blood boil: Someone made a little model-thingy of you out of an ACTUAL BEAN!

To Al:  
The trash can thing was so funny! O.o I mean... It was cruel! It was funny, but it was cruel. (Holds up a microphone) How do all those 'Tin can-trash can' jokes make you feel?

To Envy:  
I saw that Spice Girl video of you on YouTube. But I don't think of you as a girl. And don't be mad at YouTube. YT itself had nothing to do with it. It's the specific person who made the vid you should be mad at!

To Mustang:  
(Evil glare) Horse !

-HisokaYukiko

Envy: Yeah, but you told us about it, which makes you just as guilty!!

Ed: STOP TELLING ME ABOUT THESE THINGS!!! I MEAN, WHERE THE HELL WOULD SOMEONE GET THE IDEA TO MAKE A MODEL OF ME OUT OF A BEAN!?!?

Envy: Maybe because you are one? Hey, let me see that picture.

Ed: I AM NOT!!!!

Al: D: It makes me upset!

Envy: Yeah, but they make it public through that damn thing! So the only thing to do is destroy it! AND I AM NOT A GIRL!!!

Roy: Think what you want, I don't care.

_To Envy:  
- I said I wanted to be annoying not stupid... Do I look stupid to you? Say yes and I'll get all your fangirls to ask you to: "Crochet me a blanket"  
To Wrath:  
- Well, you sure have a lot of it.  
To Lust:  
- You're nicer than Envy...-huggle- Oh wait, EVERYONE'S nicer than Envy!  
To Ed:  
- Yeah, you're right... He's taller...  
To Havoc:  
- Did you know that cigarette you're putting in your mouth has 40 chemicals and (um... I think) 200 that can cause lung cancer?_

_Gothic Fangirl_

Envy: It doesn't matter whether or not you _look_ stupid, you just _are_!

Wrath: And I wonder why…

Lust: Let go of me _now._

Ed: NO WAY, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!! YOU'RE JUST LYING BECAUSE YOU'RE JEALOUS OF MY TALENT AND GOOD LOOKS!!

Havoc: …You know I'm trying to quit, already!!!

_Hai! (yes Hai not Hi) I just decided say a few things._

Envy - My sister thinks you're gay, but she admires your body. So stay away if some random girl comes poking at your abs.

Ed - HeHe...I know something you don't know! And it has to do with the Philosopher's Stone.

Al - blink You're so cute! HeHe

Wrath - sighs Look at what they've done to you. I blame Envy and Ed.

Fletcher - They should consider redoing this and asking you to be the main character. glares at Ed

And yes I do have something against him, but I'm not telling.

_Dreams – United_

Envy: First off, saying "hai" there really makes no sense, and secondly, I AM NOT GAY SO TELL YOUR SISTER THAT!! I'll keep that in mind…

Ed: Um…could you maybe please tell me?

Al: Thanks :3

Envy: Hey, what did I ever do to the kid!? He liked the red stones, right? So there's nothing wrong with that!

Ed: Well what did you expect me to do, he had my limbs!!

Fletcher: Oh, no, I don't think that I could ever possibly do that!

Ed: …WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST ME!??

_Ed  
-just admit that you have Napoleon Syndrome. It'd be easier on everyone if you did! -shoves book into Ed's hands and makes him read it-_

Al  
-you are so adorable! I can just hug you all day! -hugs human Al-

Homunculi, Ed, Winry, Roy, Havoc, and Hughes  
-watch the two fma videos on youtube called FullMetal jeopardy and fma jeapordy. It's hilarious!

_Harryswoman_

Ed: I DO NOT, I DO NOT, I DO NOT!!!

Al: Thanks Hee hee

Ed: I'm sure. It's probably making fun of us.

Winry: Oh, so what, Ed? You need to loosen up.

Roy: She's right, FullMetal.

Ed: YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!!

Envy: I refuse to look at that site.

Hughes: Oh come on, it can't be all that bad! (Starts to look but…)

Gluttony: (eats the computer)

Envy: Thanks.

_A/N Sorry. I kinda had to do that since my computer is broken and refuses to let me look at things on YouTube. And I can't really have them respond if I haven't seen it, now can I?_

_Okay. gives Roy a BIG hug_

Oh, Ed, my friend and I were role-playing, and you were one of the characters that I wound up in control of because you were always interacting with her so it was just more convenient that way. However, this situation arose, and I had no clue how you would react. Since BakaKonekoRKL was kind enough to make this available to everyone, I figured I'd just ask.

O.K., let's assume everyone I mention is someone you've come to care about. A lot. This girl just stopped responding to everything. She wouldn't eat, you couldn't tell if she'd been sleeping or not, she wouldn't respond to anything you or anyone else said or did. She was put in the hospital on an IV so she wouldn't die of starvation and, although she was afraid of needles, didn't even react to it. This was, as far as you knew, because of the recent death of a mutual friend, which she blamed herself for. She finally snapped out of it after about a month, and had no memory of anything since two days previous to the death of said friend. After a series of bizarre circumstances involving alternate universes and misdirected afterlives, you're both reunited with the friend who died. Then, one day, this friend confronts you, because apparently it was your fault she shut down. See, shortly after his death, she went to hug you, (because she desperately needed someone to hold onto) and you, dealing with your own issues at the time, pulled away. How would you react to this information? We wound up sort of skimming over what happened there because we weren't sure...

Oh, and Note to Wrath: That friend I role-play with? Yeah, every time she sees you she half-squeals "I want one!" I think three of her FMA pictures saved on her computer are of you...(the rest are of Ed)

O.K., I'll just wrap this up now. Byebye everyone!

_FriendlyFangirl88_

Roy:D

Ed: Um…I've never role-played before, and I don't think I ever will. Wait are you being serious or…?

Winry: No, Ed, this is just something that came up as they were role-playing! No one's _really_ hurt, she's just wondering how she should act.

Ed: Uhhm……Al?

Al: Uh…I'd be pretty upset?

Winry: I'd be pretty upset at _myself_.

Wrath: Only three?

_I think we've permanently reversed the order now. Saz is first._

Roy/Riza: Well, I suppose I can let darling Roy go on occasion...like if he runs out of oxygen or something!

Envy: Want me to lick it off? (wiggles eyebrows)

Barry The Chopper:...You want a machete? I'm selling my spares!

Anybody: Want a taco?

MY STUFF

To Envy: I think the phone's black or silver, or some unimportant color that isn't green. And oh yeah, the body count's been upped to nine now...and you beat Ed up very violently in Chapter Two...repeatedly...

To Greed: Yeah, stupid hu...oh wait, I'm a human. Why do you have fur lining your vest? Is that to keep warm, or a fashion statement, or what?

To Winry: I've only read vol.1 of the manga...so no. Why did you have a gun?

To Envy: My sister wants to know if you have something against shoes.

_Zilo's Blue Pen_

Roy: Yeah, oxygen is good…

Riza: Why don't you do this _after_ you get out of work?

Envy: Uh…really. That's alright…

Barry The Chopper: Sure thing!!!!

Ed: You do know that tako is Japanese for octopus? They're pronounced the same way, too.

Envy: Haha, that's awesome. Black and silver is always okay.

Greed: A fashion statement. Not only does it look cool, but many rich people have fur-lined things. Of course I'd want that, too.

Winry: Well…I'm kind of embarrassed to say…I mean, I feel like I was acting kind of childish now; an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, right? But I guess I was just so devastated after learning that Scar killed my parents…I didn't shoot him, though, thanks to Ed.

Envy: No. I wear shoes!!

_Hi! _

Ed: You're not really short. I mean, you're two inches and a fourth taller than me and we're the same age. Plus it's great that you look after Alphonse so much.

Al: How can a soul bounded to a suit of armor be so friggin' cute? And even cuter in his human body? Thirdly, cats are evil. End of story.

Winry & Riza: I applaud you both on keeping the guys in check. Keep up the great job. 

Roy: When I first saw you smile... you reminded me of a child molester. Yeah, that's bad. Also, this is one girl who is immune to your so-called "charm". And I like Ed better so nya!

Envy: You really don't have to take crap from anybody about what you wear. Do whatever you want. If makes you happy, I knew you were a guy right of the bat.

Havoc: As they say, there is someone out there for everyone. Don't lose hope.

Scieszka: I'm a bookworm as well! Know of any good reads?

Thanks, No1 Important

Ed: Heh heh…thanks!!

Al: Um…I dunno :3 No they're not! Cats are so sweet and gentle (usually), and friendly and-

Ed: Al?

Al: Yes, Brother?

Ed: We're not getting one.

Al:( Aw, come on!

Winry & Riza: Thanks! We will!

Roy: Well I'm not. And so what? I have plenty of other fangirls who adore me.

Envy: Hell yeah!

Havoc: Thank you :)

Scieszka: Of course! But I'd need to know such things as your age group and what kinds of things you like to read; I wouldn't want to recommend a graphic horror novel to a 13-year-old who's into romance, right?

_It's me MegaSliferSlacker7 again -hi-_

For Ed: what I meant my antenna is that piece of hair that sticks up out of  
your hair. And if your hair really is natural, nice hair dude.

For Al: My sister just got a pet cat. I'm gonna get rid of it, so if you want  
you can have it

For Winry: what is one thing you've always wanted to build?

For Roy: The way I think you don't respect women if the fact that you wanted  
to make every single woman in the military wear a mini skirt.

For Riza: Have you ever played paintball? Just asking.

For Envy: Can you only change into the forms of people you've seen? To like,  
examine their features or something. Or can you randomly change into anyone?

For Lust: If you extend your nails and they miss and hit a wall or something,  
do they get damaged or do they always stay that sharp?

_MegaSliferSlacker7_

Ed: Yeah, I don't have the time to get fancy haircuts or style it every day or any of that crap. So thanks.

Al: WHAT! WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GET RID OF IT IF SHE JUST GOT IT?! DDDDDD: But I'll take it if you have to…

Ed: Do you pay attention!? You can't get a cat!!

Winry: Oh, wow, that's a tough question! Do you mean as in automail or absolutely anything?

Roy: I don't think that many men would have argued with me. The majority of mankind are perverts, and that's something that you'll have to learn. However, this doesn't necessarily mean that we don't respect women.

Riza: No, it's too messy.

Envy: Do you think that there was really a person who looked like my normal form? I can change into people who don't exist, but if I'm changing into a real person, I have to have seen them at least once.

Lust: I'm a homunculus; of course they'll always stay that sharp.

_o...hehe had sugar...hehe HEEHEE  
hope you have fun at AnimeNEXT BakaKonekoRKL...can I hide in your bag??_

Anyways...on with da questions...

Roy & Edward: can ya do meh a favor...can you guys make out?? pwetty pwease?  
gives puppy dog eyes and pouty lips

Havoc: can I call you Jean? Anyways...why can't you get a girlfriend? You're  
HAWT! If you want I can be your girlfriend...please?

Riza: hm...YOU'RE MY IDOL! I can shoot a gun really good!

Winry: my cousin loves you (not romantically...I mean like fave  
character/person) she throws wrenches at everyone she loves (no  
seriously...she DOES)

Alphonse: my cat had KITTIES

Edward...again: I know how you feel being called the S. H. O. R. T. word  
cause I'm your height & I'm 18 years old! I hate it when people call me that!

_ColonelPhantom_

BakaKonekoRKL: Heh heh…I'd love to, but we're already having 3 too many people in our hotel room already…lol see my rant below for more info '

Roy & Ed: NO!!! WE ARE. NOT. GAY!!!

Havoc: Sure, you can call me that. Thanks! Of course you can be my girlfriend!!

Riza: Thank you, but make sure you're careful with guns.

Winry: Really? Wow. Well just make sure she doesn't kill any of them.

Al: AWW!! HOW CUTE!!

Ed: Just punch them out, it's a lot easier that way…

_Wow, I actually finished with all the reviews today!!! …Ok, so it took me two days to do. THIS IS TRES IMPORTANTE!!! I will not be able to update again until sometime next week. I could tomorrow, but that would be too soon, and I'm working on typing up a fic for my cousin, since the poor child doesn't have the internet. Then at night, there's gonna be fireworks. Wednesday is the 4__th__ of July, so I'll be swimming at my Aunts and/or watching FMA with my cousins. Thursday I'm at my grandma's, and I'm leaving a day early for AnimeNEXT. Then Friday-Sunday is the convention, and I'll hopefully be able to update on Monday. So please don't kill yourselves; instead, look at the bright side: I'm attending a panel on fanfiction, so hopefully I'll get even better :) Also, if anyone's seriously going, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!! I'll know if you e-mail or PM me by around 2:30 New Jersey time tomorrow (I don't know what time zone I'm in ' stupid me…), but anytime after that won't work. So please don't fret and if you get bored, just read some of my other fanfiction. But I just wanted to let you all know about this so you're not thinking that I died or forgot about you or something lol. Well, I've gotta get started on that fic for my cousin…I'll see you guys after the con!!! Have an awesome 4__th__ for those of you in the US, and just have an awesome week until I get back!!!!!! 3_


	49. Chapter 49

So, I had a lot of fun at the con, more than you can ever imagine. Please read my LiveJournal if you wanna know about it. You can also get the link for a VIDEO OF MERUNNING AROUND WITH A BAGEL IN MY MOUTH the most recent entry. I also attended a panel on fanfiction, so…But anyway, I bet you're all impatient since I've been away for a while. Sorry about that. I'll get started right now…

_I have one for Hughes...and other people. XP_

Hughes,  
What would you do if this really nice boy that your daughter knew since she  
was itty-bitty asked her out?

Alphonse,  
My kitty likes you. Oh, and my sister thinks you're destined for a  
red-head with emerald green eyes. (My sister isn't a red-head, and she doesn't  
have green eyes don't worry. I don't either for that matter...) What do you  
think? How does the name Mary sound to you?

Envy,  
I HATE YOU, YOU PLECHY! You...I'm going to kill you over and over until you  
eventually WANT to die. Cause you killed all my favvie characters.

Ed,  
You...are...so...chibi. KAWAII! But you will get taller my bean-sized  
alchemist friend. 

Winry,  
Will you marry Edward? He needs you so that he won't go insane and become a  
crazy cat man. You need him so you won't go insane and marry you're wrench.  
XP

Lust,  
You rock!

Scar,  
Hm...since I'm not a State Alchemist would you kill me if I tied you up and  
kept you forever in my closet?

Roy,  
FIRE! BURN! I have a question...

Can you start my school on fire before the summer ends?

Riza,  
What would you do if Roy asked you on a date, then asked you to marry him?  
(later of course)

Onna-san 

**Hughes: What? Of course I wouldn't let him!! No boy is good enough for my Elysia!!!**

**Al: Um, I don't know. It really depends on her personality, not just her looks.**

**Envy: Well boo-hoo, I really don't care! You can't kill me, anyway.**

**Ed: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING BEAN-SIZED!?!?!?**

**Al: Ed, she never said-Oh, wait…she did…**

**Winry: Uuuhhmm…We're too young for that right now. Sorry '**

**Lust: Thanks.**

**Scar: Probably.**

**Roy: I would, but that may be frowned upon, and I really don't want any setbacks in my quest to become Fuhrer.**

**Riza: I would probably go out with him, but for the second part of your question…it would depend on what happens during our time together.**

Hallo!

Envy: Meanie! Crochet me a blanket or... I'll think of something, just do  
it!

Al: I tried that, but I lose track of time and sleep through alarms.  
Heh-heh.

Ed: I tried that too! Then the lock on my door mysteriously broke and even if  
it did work, my best friend would just start banging on my window. --'

Neassa-chan

**Envy: Um, no. I'm not afraid of you.**

**Al: Oh ' Uh…I'm sorry!**

**Ed: Put an electric fence around your house, then, so she can't get on your property!**

**Al: Brother, I don't think that's going to work…**

Ed: What if I don't want to...

Barry: You mean like the Slicer brothers?

Wrath: ... I did and I got hurt for it!

Envy: What can a palm tree head like you do that's that horrible?

Lust: OW! All I did was give you a hug and you stab me!! -puts hand over  
shoulder wound-

Scar: GAH!! -gets away from him- you and Lust are mean!

Shoushin 

**Ed: Well that's just too bad for you, now, isn't it?**

**Barry the Chopper: Yea, them…and a few others.**

**Wrath: Haha!! Well, that's your own fault!**

**Envy: I'M NOT A PALM TREE, I'M A HOMUNCULUS, DAMN YOU, YOU BRAT, SO I COULD EASILY KILL YOU WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT!!**

**Lust: Never piss off a homunculus.**

**Scar: Well, we did warn you.**

To Envy:  
- ... Okay, you call EVERYONE stupid!  
To Wrath:  
- I wonder why no one gives you stuff anymore...-gives chocolate ice-cream-  
To Lust:  
- Um...'Kay... -lets go-  
To Ed:  
- -huggle- You're hotter than Roy... SO GO AND PROVE IT!  
- OH and my best cousin, Joey is WAY taller than you! Okay, maybe she's 2  
centimeters taller... BUT STILL!  
To Roy:  
- If you like women so much, why don't you just stay in there with the  
fangirls? -points back at the huge house- OH and this time, I'm not helping  
you unless... -evil grin-

Gothic Fangirl 

**Envy: That's 'cause you're all stupid!! Humans are real idiots…**

**Wrath: Yayy!!!!**

**Lust: Good. Thank you.**

**Ed: I don't have to prove it; I **_**know**_** I am! SHE'S NOT TALLER THAN ME, I TELL YOU!!!!**

**Roy: Because they're insane and they want to do bad things to me. I'm not going back in there; end of story.**

**Ed: Don't tell me the **_**great**_** Hero of Ishbal is afraid of some silly little fangirls?**

**Roy: You would be, too, if you'd been in there…**

Yo!

Ed:  
Oh! You mean Jack Sparrow?? He's not a bird! He's a man!  
You kick butt, oh and so far, you're beating Roy MAJORLY at the 'who has more  
fans' thing. Plus, the Risembool Rangers (Vic's fanclub) has a total of 1,279  
members and the Miniskirt Army (Travis' fanclub) has a total of 7. Go Ed!  
OMG!! I MISSED FMA AGAIN! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? BTW: FMA is on at 10:00 at night and I'm always exhausted on Friday.

Kimbley:  
You are quite welcome:( My school has yet to be blown up. Ima huggle you  
until you do it! No matter how long it takes and where you go! -huggles you-

Roy:  
O-KAY! I'll tell her, you two will have the best time! You two are so  
compatible (I can tell) and you will love her! -Whispering- I'll hold off  
Riza and her guns for the night. Don't worry! -winks-

Scar:  
I still love you by the way... -kisses you smack on the lips (yes, I'm still  
clinging onto Kimbley) then smacks Kimbley's butt so he runs away (probably would  
anyway cuz he probably doesn't wanna get blown up :D)

Al:  
That's the spirit! Now I suggest you go to your brother and bug him until he's  
at the point of insanity and then he'll let you get a cat!

Envy:  
-sigh- I thought you would realize what would happen. Guess not. -stuffs the  
soap into his mouth and holds it there while giving him a lecture and rubbing  
his head at the same time- (In case you're wondering, I'm clinging to Kimbley  
with my legs!)

Hughes:  
I love you! Why did you die?! Omg, I bawled my eyes out when you were getting  
buried! Never die again, you hear me? I'm running out of tears. -kisses you  
too-

Ed & Roy:  
RoyxEd, RoyxEd, ROYxED HOORAY! Only the best pairing ever! Wanna hear  
something weird? I love RoyxEd fics but I feel really weird when I read them,  
and get grossed out when you two kiss. Why? I love the pairing, I should be  
able to read it! Any ideas on what I can do? (HA! Like you'll give me hints on  
how to be able to read RoyxEd!)

Love you all! -kisses ALL the guys in the room (well except Grand...And Greed,  
and Armstrong... Well you get the drift!!)-  
The Bubble Wrap Alchemist!

**Ed: Yeah. The bird guy. Well **_**obviously **_**I'm beating him!! I'm so much cooler! Why don't you just set a tape for it? All the DVDs are out, and you could probably watch it on that YouTube thing, too.**

**Kimbley: If you keep doing that, I'll just blow you up, too…**

**Roy: Heh heh…sounds good.**

**Scar: **(stands there with a "wtf?" expression on his face)

**Kimbley: HEY! Don't touch me!**

**Al: Uhh…That's not gonna work…trust me.**

**Envy: MRMMMPG KERMMMERPH MERHHH! MERPPHHHH KERMERPPHHH!!!!**

**Hughes: Don't ask me, ask the writers. Oh, don't cry! Um, I'll try not to!**

**Ed & Roy: We would, except for the reason that you mentioned. Sorry (…Not really).**

Holy shrittz! I completely forgot about the 4th of July!

To Al:  
Ignore the trashcan freaks. You're cute! My friend wants to go out with you.

To Envy:  
I know you're not a girl. Don't kill YT! They did nothing wrong. And I've  
also seen a lot of videos you would LOVE!

-HisokaYukiko

**Ed: What the hell is so special about the 4****th**** of July?**

**Winry: It's probably something important in their world…**

**Ed: Oh. Right.**

**Al: Um, thanks!**

**Envy: I don't care! It can burn in hell for all I care!!**

Sup, peoples! I got a few questions for ya!

Ed: -glomps- I LOVE YOU! How did you turn out so cute?

Envy: -glomps- I LOVE YOU TOO! CROCHET ME A BLANKET!

Al: Do you have a crush on any girls? And I don't mean Winry!

Winry: There are a lot of people who hate you. How do you feel about that?  
Oh, and I think you're awesome!

Dante: Why did you destroy Lyra's dream? Go die, you witch!

Envy and Ed: Why waste time trying to kill each other when you could team up  
and beat the crap out of the EdxEnvy supporters? We all know you hate them  
more!

To everyone: There's a boy I like. We're friends, and I really wanna tell him  
my real feelings. But every time I'm near him, I freeze up! What should I do?

Blazing Pink

**Ed: Um…calm down. I don't know, I'm just amazing like that.**

**Envy: Hell no!!**

**Al: Um…no, not really.**

**Winry: Whatever. They can hate me if they want. I mean, I don't appreciate being told to go in the bathtub with a toaster or anything like that, but people have a right to like and dislike whoever they want. But thanks **

**Dante: Because I needed a new body. I really don't care what you think of me.**

**Ed & Envy: **(look at each other) **……**

**Winry: It's normal for that to happen. This may be less romantic, but easier to do. You could write him a note, or tell him on the phone. You could also tell him on the computer somehow; send him an instant message or e-mail, maybe? It's usually easier when you're not face to face with the person.**

To Dante, Greed, and Envy: I have to admit you guys are really good at  
plotting out evil schemes and such. Anyhow I have a question: There's this one  
person I don't like and I was wondering which of these ways I should kill him:  
1. Fill one of those squirting orchards up with acid and tell him to smell it.  
2. Make a spear gun that looks like a revolver and has spears with BANG flags  
on em and trick him into to thinking it's a fake gun.

3. Crave a smile in his face and give him to Dante.  
Oh and by the way you guys are my favorite FMA characters.

Tartarus789 

**Dante: Hmm…my vote is for the third one :)**

**Envy: I don't know, the first one sounds pretty good…**

**Greed: Why not do all three? I'm sure you could find a way…heh heh…**

More questions and comments from me.  
Wrath- You're the bestest. What would you do if, after you turned good and  
everything, you somehow had to work for Envy, would you try to kill him?

Russell- WATCH ONE PEICE! Sangi is your TWIN!

Fletcher- Have you never met Wrath before, if not, he's the kid with the  
anger problems. You could probably help him with controlling his anger.

Al-Here ya go. hands him a soda

Ed & Al-Al, have you ever played a prank on Ed, if so, what was it, and to Ed,  
if he did, How did you react.

Moofy-Fan 

**Wrath: I don't know, it depends on what would happen while I was working for him…**

**Russell: …Um, I don't think so.**

**Fletcher: I doubt it. I mean, his name is **_**Wrath**_**. What am I supposed to do?**

**Al: Um…I can't drink…Sorry '**

**Ed: Heh, yeah, he has, but we're not going to tell you. They're kind of…**

**Al: Embarrassing?**

**Ed: Yeah, you could say that…**

SAZ TIME! YAY!

Roy: Okay, okay, if you can't BREATHE. (lets go momentarily) Go ahead,  
INHALE! (slaps him on the back hard)

Barry the Chopper: Yay! (hands over big pile of machetes and a butter knife)

Kimbley: My best friend has developed a serious Kimbley addiction, and now  
she likes to talk about blowing up stuff, and she stockpiles fireworks. She's  
scaring me now!!

Ed: ...Octopus? OHEMGEE!! (hurls taco at Envy and runs in the opposite  
direction, screaming bloody murder)

ZILO'S STUFF

To Ed/Envy: Try to ignore Saz. She has in irrational fear of octopi.

To Authoress: Have fun!!

To Winry: Is that how it goes in the manga? Jeez, I didn't even know...weird.  
I mean, I knew who killed your parents in the anime already. But at least you  
didn't do anything you'd regret!!

To Envy: You know what? I saw a video on YouTube, and it was you singing the  
rock version of "Poor Unfortunate Souls." It was awesome.

To Ed/Roy: I also saw a video on a GaiaOnline profile, and it was you two  
singing this Broadway song called "Loathing." Really seemed to fit!

To Lust: You have such nice hair. Do you have to worry about tangles, or  
getting it caught on something, or the like?

That's all for now. Watch the frog.

Zilo's Blue Pen 

**Roy: **(choking) **Or you could just…not hold onto me…so hard!**

**Barry The Chopper: Heh heh heh! You know, if you kill someone with a blunt object (such as a butter knife or a spoon) and you can actually kill them, it'll be more painful than if you killed them with a gun or something.**

**Kimbley: **(smirks) **Oh, really? Sounds like fun.**

**Ed: Well yeah, but it's spelled tako…**

**Envy: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH- Huh? Hmm…this thing tastes pretty good…**

**Ed: Riiight…**

**BakaKonekoRKL: I did, arigatou! I hardly got any sleep, but two amazingly wonderful things happened! One was the amazing rave and the other was…Oh, but I need to finish this up, so read my LiveJournal if you wanna know more **

**Winry: Well, thankfully, Ed stopped me before I actually shot him, so it's really thanks to him **

**Envy: Hm. So maybe that site isn't all bad…**

**Ed & Roy: Never heard of it…but it sounds good…**

**Lust: Hm. Thanks. I don't have to worry about that stuff, no; just one more thing that comes with being a homunculus.**

**Ed: …What frog?**

Sorry…I have a few more questions left, but I should be able to finish them up on Wednesday…Sorry!!! I just ran out of time!! ; By the way, has anyone ever had daifuku? IT'S AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY THE STRAWBERRY ONES!! Oh, and I ask this again: In order to make this take a little less time, could you guys quite possibly put your name at the end of your "letter"? I know some people do it, but honestly, guys, it just makes things a bit easier. Thanks, and see ya next time!!!


	50. Chapter 50

So my computer is still being a little whacky. So sorry about that. Everything is now Ed-sized (if you know what I mean) and I don't know why!!! Anyway, don't fret about putting your names at the end of stuff, it just makes it a little easier for me. And I really need that on days like today. But arigatou for those of you who are; I really appreciate the help :)

Oh yeah, this is the 50th chapter!! So who's throwing the party and when is it? Can we invite Ed and Al so I can kidnap them and…I mean…RABBITS EAT LETTUCE!!!

To Greed and Dante: Say, do you both need henchmen that are actually useful  
cause if you want I can spare a few.  
Here's the list:  
1.Killer Moth: A nut in an insect like robot armor that flies around shooting  
fireballs.  
2.Electrocutioner: Big guy, Big weapon: a giant robotic arm that can shoot  
wave attacks that electrocute enemies with 20,0 volts of electricity.  
3.Fire Bug: An insane pyromaniac, whose weapon allows him to create fireballs  
capable of melting through solid concrete. Also a good hand to hand fighter.  
And Last but not least  
4.Bob the Goon: Your typical everyday sacrificial henchman. Not a good fighter  
and a little on the dumb side but, extremely loyal.  
Besides that I plan on killing off the whole city along with FullMetal and his  
dimwit brother, and of course the most the state military. How you ask? With  
a big parade in honor of the State Military, with parade balloons filled with  
a toxic nerve gas called Smilex (don't what Smilex is look it up, you might be  
interested). I only ask you two join me in this parade or at least offer some  
advice. Your choice, either way free gas mask will be distributed to you Dante  
and all of your henchmen and I am giving away $20,000,000 dollars to all the  
little people during the parade just to make them think nothing's wrong. Of  
course when their dead I'll take back the 20 million and if you guys want you  
can have a share with it and what ever the dead have among them. Oh, almost  
forgot (hands out Philosophers stone). This is for you Dante. Now If both of  
you would excuse me I've got a city to kill.  
To Barry the Chopper: Since you're a walking suit of armor I don't think ya  
need a gas mask, but I'll make ya a deal. How would you like to work for me  
killing anybody how tries to stop my genocidal plans. Yes, you do get to chop  
'em up all you want  
To Ed: You're short, and all I have to say is I still can't see ya from up  
here! Where'd ya go shorto? Perhaps you need to be put in a baby chair from now  
on! Tell me something my "friend", ya ever dance with the devil in the pale of  
moon light?   
To Al: Your brother's so small I had to look under a microscope to see him.  
Oh, and here's ya a present, It's probably gonna smell because I left the poor  
cat in there with no air holes for 3 days. Ha just kidding it's a toy  
cat!...whose fur was once from a real cat.  
To Roy: If you survive the whole parade thing I hope the whole miniskirt thing  
works out for ya.  
To Envy: relax about the people calling ya a palm tree head, gay, and a mini  
skirt wearer, cause they're just about all gonna die at the big parade, And IF  
they still are alive, find out their location and I'll send my goons to get 'em  
and bring 'em to ya. By the way good look against FullMetal shorto. Here's ya a  
gas mask. Put it on when you start hearing my goons yell "Mask!"  
To Wrath: God kid aren't you one bit sick for all that sugar!? Well here's ya  
another chocolate bar and a gas mask.  
To Gluttony: Here's ya a hand sandwich and a gas mask: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD  
DON'T EAT THE MASK!  
Sloth: Here's ya a gas mask and make sure your kid doesn't take his off  
either.  
To Lust: A gas mask you too, and by the way here's a certain stone you're  
looking for. Thank me later.  
Pride: Here's ya a gas mask and keep up da smile...  
Winry: How about you and me go on a little date huh? You and me destroying  
the town! Wadda ya say? gets out BIG gun

Tartarus789

**Greed: Well thanks. I'll take 'em all.**

**Dante: Nothing much can top a Homunculus, but I'll be there when you take out Central. Of course, I don't know where you'd get all of that money; couldn't you just evacuate them? Or you could just kill them off.**

**Barry The Chopper: Eheh heh heh!! Of course I'll do it!!!!**

**Ed: I AM NOT A MIDGET SO TINY AND SMALL THAT HE COULD BE CONFUSED WITH A TADPOLE!?!?!?!?!? And I have no idea what you're talking about with that second part.**

**Al: Eh!?!? 0o**

**Roy: Um…thank you?**

**Envy: Heh, Homunculi could withstand that stuff even without a gas mask.**

**Wrath: Of course not!! Yaaaaaay candy!!!**

**Gluttony? **(eats mask)

**Envy: It doesn't matter; like I said, we don't really need them.**

**Sloth: Sure thing.**

**Lust: I'll use it after the attack. Thanks.**

**Pride: …Of course.**

**Winry: …I don't really have a choice in the matter, do I?**

Her evilness is back!  
Envy FINE THEN! I will set Sylvester my evil cat on you!!  
Kimbley I don't really understand what you said...  
I have given up on weird nicknames...for now...  
Dante I don't believe in hell but you can have fun burning in it and just so  
you know you have given my friend Perri and I a lifelong phobia of elevators  
you suck  
Mei-chan one of my online names is Mei-san and well you have a really nice  
name! Xiao Mei is very cute as well  
Ling you are cute but I don't like it when you are Greed  
RanFan you are cool but I don't really like you no offence  
I will return do not doubt it...  
happy birthday Trevor!

roxie-san

**Envy: I'm not afraid of any damn cat!!!**

**Kimbley: Sorry, I misread your comment. What I meant to say was hell yeah I'm gonna kill you!**

**Everyone: GOOD!**

**Dante: Oh, boo-hoo. Do you really think that I care what someone as pathetic as you think?**

**Mei-chan: Oh! Thank you very much :)**

**Ling: Heh heh…well that's too bad, I guess.**

**RanFan: …It's okay, I understand.**

**Ed: Who the hell is "Trevor"!?!?**

Havoc: I'M CALLIN' YOU CHAN! But are you the jolly green giant?

Roy:...you're still a jerk.

Greed: I STOLE YOUR CAR! Will you kill me?

MeanFangirl

**Havoc: **(sweatdrop) **What are you talking about. AH! NO! CHAN IS FOR GIRLS!!!**

**Roy: …So are you.**

**Greed: Yeah, pretty much.**

Hello peoples, I'm back.

Okay, I'm going to skip the usual Envy/Dante insults and go right to the  
question... at least for a little bit.

Ed, Al, Scar, Kimbley, Greed... and Mustang:  
I need some help. I have a guy that likes me and keeps insisting that we  
'dated' even though we never even went out, and he still won't let go of the  
fact that I told him to leave me alone. He keeps calling me and trying to get  
'back together', and it's driving me insane! I even resorted to letting my  
brother answer the phone, and that still didn't work. What should I do? Oh,  
and after I 'dumped' him, he started saying how big of a b#& I was to a  
bunch of my friends.

Kimbly:  
1. If my 'friend' calls me again today, will you please blow him up for me? I  
would REALLY appreciate it.

Ed:  
1. You rock. End of story.  
2. Again, I feel your pain as to being the older sibling and being shorter  
than the younger one. I'm 19 fricken years old and I'm only 5'4! My friend  
Rin tells me that I'm as tall as you are in the movie when you're 18, and that  
means that we should be a perfect match, since I kind of lose it when people  
call me short as well.  
3. If you were traveling with a girl, and she found a puppy while you were  
traveling and hid it from you, how would you react when you found it? (She had  
it in her backpack.)

Al:  
1. If you really want a pet, and Ed won't let you have one, try one of those  
NintenDogs. I think they have a cat version too. (Hands over Nintendo DS with  
games.)

Mustang:  
1. You're how old, thirty? First of all, you look way younger than that, and  
you have the emotional maturity of a fifteen-year old. Maybe that's why girls  
like you, because they want to date younger men. My friend's grandmother,  
who's eighty, says you're hot by the way.  
2. STOP STEALING HAVOC'S GIRLFRIENDS! Let the man date for Kami's sake!

Envy:  
1. You knew it had to be coming, didn't you? Actually, I have a civil  
question to ask you for once. Why do you hate Ed so much? He wasn't the one  
who transmuted you, and it's not like he even knew who you really were until  
you told him. I partially agree with you on Hohenhiem; that was totally  
uncalled for on his part as to how he deserted you.  
2. As much as I really don't want to say this... my friend Emi-chan thinks  
you're hot and wants to date you. She is currently standing right next to me  
while I'm writing this and is begging for all that she's worth. I leave that  
up for you to decide, but remember this; if you break her heart, I'll kill  
you. I know where your human remains are.

Hawkeye:  
1. Is it hard, being a female in the military, and being a sharpshooter to  
boot?  
2. You are my favorite female character in FMA! You rock!

Wandering Hitokiri

**Ed: Just punch the guy in the face and tell him to leave you alone!**

**Roy: Just go out with me and tell him you already have a boyfriend ;)**

**Al: U-Um, well, if he keeps bothering you like that, then I think it's considered harassment, so you should tell someone about it. You should also try talking to him, and telling him to stop it. But maybe you could have your parents talk to his parents; that usually works.**

**Kimbley: Heh heh…no problem-o.**

**Ed: Thanks. Um…I dunno…Well, I mean, we really can't care for pets like that, but if it's been with her for a while I wouldn't wanna tear them apart…maybe I'd leave it with Riza and Black Hayate to take care of so she could pick it up when she was done traveling with us.**

**Al: Yay!! Uh…Oh no!! It died!! Brother, what do I do!?!?**

**Ed: How the hell should I know!? What is that thing, anyway?**

**Al: Um…Ninten-something?**

**Ed: It's probably dangerous! Get rid of it!**

**Al: Eep!! O-okay!!**

**Roy: …I just don't have anything to say to that first comment. I really don't. As for the second, it's their choice who they want to date; I'm obviously the better man.**

**Havoc: D: Come on, Colonel, gimme a break!**

**Envy: While that may be true, his bastard of a father actually cared about him, unlike me. And I can't forgive him for that. Besides, he looks too much like that man for my taste. I'd never date a human, and you have no idea where they are.**

**Riza: At times it can be difficult, yes, because there aren't many women there. It's very exhausting to be working with men all day. Thank you.**

Ed: Have you ever thought of taking calcium supplements instead of drinking  
milk?

Roy: Instead of a miniskirt why not try getting Riza to wear hot pants? (Which  
it looks like Envy already wears them but that's probably not true.)

Winry: This is probably out of place but you're a normal girl who may know  
what I'm talking about. I like this guy but he doesn't know that and we don't  
talk a lot but other people think he's gay so I'm not sure I can tell him how I  
feel. Advice please.

Envy: Where did you learn to fight? (I tried to copy you but my brother  
punched me in the stomach for it.) But still you are awesome!

P.S. Roy I made a reference to you a couple of days ago to a friend and ended  
up explaining to her who you were! It just goes to show that you are not  
popular because she knew who Ed and Al were just fine.

Akanami Kokorime

**Ed: What, are you implying something with that comment? **

**Roy: Nah, I think I'll stick with miniskirts. I mean, "Hot Pants Army" just doesn't have that ring to it.**

**Winry: Hmm…well, in this day and age, "gay" is often used as an insult, so he may not be. What you can say is "I'm not sure if you feel the same way about me, but I really like you," or something along those lines. Chances are, if you don't talk a lot, he may not like you back, but if you're friends you can not only find out the truth of his sexuality preferences, but you'll have a better chance of going out with him if he ****is**** straight.**

**Envy: I've been alive for hundreds of years, so I can't say I remember where if there was a place, but mostly it's just stuff I've picked up. You should punch him back!!!**

**Roy: …One person doesn't mean anything!!**

BakaKonakoRKL,  
this story thing makes me giggle, good job! WOO!

Ok so,  
Edward-you are NOT short. But just so you know, people will continue to say  
you are if you keep spazzing out.  
Al- all I have to say is your freakin adorable.

Tetsu-chan

**BakaKonekoRKL: Arigatou! This is really the only humor story I've done, besides Clash of T3h Animes and Retreat, but the first is kinda…random (but still funny) and the second was just used to help me survive a horrific experience. So thanks!**

**Ed: Well…I can't help it! It's just something I do, almost subconsciously.**

**Al:) Thank you!!**

Tigerlily's questions  
To all the homonculi- if you were turned human, what would you do first?  
Envy - you're not wearing a skirt during the anime, coz in the one of the  
last episodes there's a shot of you and you're wearing a pair of shorts, so  
tell people who say you're wearing a skirt to suck on that. You're also very  
hot!

Hummingbird's questions:  
Greed - My sister thinks you are the coolest because you have minions and a  
bar. Do you serve Absinthe?

Roy - 2 things.. 1) buy an umbrella, then your gloves won't get wet. DUH

2) Kind of applies to both you and Envy - would you have a miniskirt army?

Envy - would you join said Mini-Skirt Army? And also, your hair isn't a palm  
tree! More an Aloe Vera plant. From now on, you will be known as... VERA!  
ALSO (sorry to bug you, mate) but ARE you a ninja? Come on, there's no need  
to hide from it! Are you?

Ed - let Al have a damn kitten! Why won't you let him have one anyway? Are  
you worried it'll chew on your Automail or something? Get over yourself!

Al - looks sheepish for a second You're so cute and adorable and... e!  
hugs human Al and ruffles hair Aw!! Here, have a kitten produces small  
blonde tabby from pocket

TigerlilyandHummingbird

**Lust: I don't know…find a house to live in, probably.**

**Gluttony: All you can eat buffet :)**

**Greed: Why would I want to become human? I want to become immortal, remember?**

**Envy: Kill the Elrics. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT!!! Finally someone gets it…**

**Greed: Even if I knew who that was, I don't serve anyone but myself, got it?**

**Roy: It's a bit difficult to fight while holding an umbrella. OF COURSE!! HAVING A MINISKIRT IS MY TOTAL MOTIVATION FOR BECOMING FUHRER!!!**

**Envy: …Do you ****want**** me to kill you or something? And no, I'm not!!**

**Ed: No, I'm not! It's just that we don't have the means to care for it, and anyway, I wouldn't want it to get killed and for Al to be traumatized!!**

**Al: Aww, than-**

**Ed: GIVE IT BACK, AL!!**

**Al: …**(silently gives kitten back)

Oh...

Roy: What if I were to 'borrow' you're gloves temporarily and then burn down  
my school?

Winry: When you're older. Duh.

Alphonse: Oh yeah...

Erm, she's really sweet, and loves to pick on Edo-kun, but she really likes  
him like a friend. Even though you're armor, she says she's willing to wait  
all eternity for you to get to normal, and even help you two out.

Ed: Ed, I'd like you to meet Mike. He taints you're mind and makes you drunk  
in my fanfic, but you make him a good-guy later. -pets-

Hughes: -watches older Elysia sneak into boyfriend's car- Herm, is that so?  
And if she was to do this dating thing secretly?

Riza: It goes good, but he has his pervert moments. Then again, what fun  
would Roy be if you couldn't shoot at him, right?

Lust: -grins- You're my favorite villain, I hated what Dante did to Gluttony.  
You should beat her up for that.

Scar: -backs away and chucks rope out window- Ok then, that's out of the  
question. 'nother question.

If you were to fall deeply in love with someone for their kindness only to  
find out a year later after being with her that she was a State Alchemist,  
what would you do? Would you kill her and be sad? Or would you just kill her?

Havoc:  
I have a girlfriend for you. She's wonderful, rich, and smexy just for you.

Oh yeah. She's got like...8 kids...  
Mike  
Amy and May  
Kylie and Carrie  
Crystal  
Sam and Sarah

Yuppers, and they're all insane. But remember, she's rich and smexy.

To the Host: -glomps- I think you deserve a cookie. -hands cookie-

Envy: You can't DIE, but I can still HURT you. And find your remains...

Hohenheim: Where are Envy's remains?

Onna-san

**Roy: …It doesn't work if you tell me about it!! **(sighs) **Now I've got to get some of my men to keep an eye on you…**

**Winry: Eheh heh…of course……Maybe I'll answer if Ed leaves.**

**Ed: Like hell!! Why can't you just say it while I'm here?**

**Winry: …You just don't get it do you!?**

**Ed: Get what!?**

**Winry: **(hits him with wrench) **Maybe. But it's not like he's gonna propose to me or anything.**

**Al: Aw, that's so sweet :) Well I guess I could go out with her…once I get my body back, of course.**

**Ed: What the hell!??!**

**Hughes: Noooooo!! Elysia!!!!!!!**

**Riza: Right **

**Lust: I would, if I wasn't already dead myself.**

**Scar: To answer your question, I honestly don't know. I suppose I'd have to find that information out before I started going out with her. Though I'm not so sure that I could ever fall in love again…**

**Havoc: Uhh…thanks, but I'd rather go out with someone with a slightly…smaller family…**

**BakaKonekoRKL: YAAAAAAAAAY THANKS!!! Man, I haven't had a cookie in forever!!! **(glomps)

**Envy: Yeah, yeah, do what you will. But you'll still never find them.**

**Hohenheim: Sorry, but I honestly don't know; Dante hid them, and I don't think she'd ever tell you…**

Dun dun dun...

The 4th of July is OVER! And I missed the fireworks! Including the illegal  
ones that some guys in my city got arrested for! NO! NO! NO!

To Envy:  
YouTube has some great videos... There was one about you and Ed singing the  
song 'Anything you can do I can do better' and you were WINNING and you got to  
beat up Ed in the end! Of course... the song DID portray you as a girl...

-HisokaYukiko

**Envy: That's what I'm talking about!! If they had some of me ****without**** insulting me, then that would be fine, but most of them trash me! So either someone has to make a crapload of videos that don't make me look like a girl or a sissy, or your precious little website is gonna be destroyed!**

Ed: Shut up shrimpy... -glares at him-

Barry: Oh... okay then... -takes off his head, starts tossing it around like  
a ball-

Envy: Feh... you can't kill me…

Wrath: It wasn't my fault!

Lust: How did I you off? -my wound heals- YAY! I'm healed!

Scar: You two didn't warn me at all!!

Shoushin

**Ed: WHY YOU LITTLE- YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!**

**Barry The Chopper: AAH!! No! My head!!! Give me back my head!!!!!**

**Envy: Don't temp me.**

**Wrath: Riiiiiiiight.**

**Lust: Just don't pet us like that anymore.**

**Scar: Though we didn't actually say anything, you could easily tell that we were getting annoyed. It's really your own fault.**

**Well, I'm wiped. If my computer's still working, I'll get another column up on Friday. Oh! And I just got some pictures from AnimeNEXT up on my LiveJournal; info is in my profile, so check it out :) Oh, and here's my final piece of advice to everyone: never attempt to clean a freezer that hasn't been cleaned in over 3 years shudders**


	51. Chapter 51

IMPORTANT NOTE: Kay guys, I don't know how updation will be for a while, because my computer is seriously broken. It's never been this bad before; we're lucky we got it on, and when we did, we had to back-up files onto discs. I'm really not sure how it's gonna go from here on out, but I'll do my best. So if I don't update for a very long time, then that's why. Then again, it may turn out to be amazingly perfect; who knows? Oh, and thanks for all the nice things you've been saying about me (and all the faves); I don't have the time or space to reply to them all, but I do read all of your comments, and I must say, after a day of organizing thread and cleaning the refrigerator, I'm a lot happier lol. SO FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WROTE IN SAYING SOMETHING LIKE "Great fic! I really like it; good job" here's my little thing: BakaKonekoRKL: Thanks!!!

I'm Back!

Ed:  
Hm... I'll tape it later. Also, I found a site where I can watch it so I  
watched the missed episodes. Oh! And in episode 17 you were acting all  
lovey-dovey with Al. Care to explain mister liar-pants? Oh and if you're  
wondering what I'm talking about. You were all "I've been wanting to tell you  
something for a while, but I've been kind of scared of what your reaction would  
be" ELRICEST!

Kimbley:  
I'm sorry, but I'm not letting go until you blow up my school. Please don't blow  
me up! You're one of my favorite characters!

Winry:  
I'm so sorry! I realized that I don't hate you! The only reason I used to hate  
you is because I had only seen clips of you being mean to Ed on youtube. I  
just watched an episode though, and you are so awesome! I'm actually thinking of  
of cosplaying as you when you're a child. 'Caus my hair isn't long enough for  
your current self. Omg! You absolutely HAVE to watch this video on youtube.  
Just go to it and type in 'In Life Winry Edward': it's the first one. It's so sad!  
I almost cried.

Scar:  
Oh, guess what! Me and my friend made an FMA club, and it has ranks. My rank  
is Fuhrer because I thought up the club, and she is, dun dun dun... A State  
Alchemist! Oh and here's her address! -hands you her address-.

Roy:  
HA! You're still working on becoming Fuhrer and I wanted to be one for like a  
week and now I am! Isn't irony so mean?

Hughes:  
-Sniffles- Good... Now, can I have a hug to make me feel better??

Everyone:  
Since Roy and Ed won't answer my question. Help! I need to be able to read  
RoyxEd! Well now its all ok when they kiss and stuff. It's lemons that me.

Sincerely,  
The Bubble Wrap Alchemist

**Ed: THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!! I just wanted to know if he hated me for what I did to him, you know, making him a living suit of armor, and that's ALL!**

**Kimbley: I'll blow it up if you let me go…**

**Winry: Oh! Well, thank you I'm glad that you changed your opinion about me. Unfortunately, the computer that I'm using can't see YouTube, so I can't see the video. I'm sorry!**

**Scar: …But she's not an actual State Alchemist. She can't use Alchemy, so there's really no point in it. Don't try to sell out your friends, either.**

**Roy: …You just appointed yourself Fuhrer. Of a stupid club. I, on the other hand, have the support of many for my dream to become Fuhrer in the **_**military**_

**Hughes: Of course! But you know what would make you feel even better than that? Seeing some pictures of my adorable little daughter!!!**

**Everyone: …**

**Riza: Why don't you just ease yourself into it? Over time you'll become more comfortable with it; start out with less……lemon-y ones and over time read more… "hardcore yaoi".**

**Roy: Traitor!! Going against me like that, it's treason!!**

**Riza: Relax, sir, we have to answer these questions. And since you and Edward wouldn't…**

Yes, Saz is first again.

Roy: You're choking! (administers the Heimlich and CPR) I'll save you!

Barry The Chopper: You're so right!! There was this one time this kid was  
trying to beat me up after school, and I didn't have any weapons except this  
really old notebook, so I beat him over the head with it repeatedly,  
and...well, let's just say I'm glad my juvenile record is sealed!

Kimbley: Nuh-uh! She nearly blew up my FACE during this one "experiment" of  
hers!

Ed: (peeks out from behind Kimbley) Is it gone?

Envy: It's Mexican food! Extra taste and extra gas, yay!

ZILO'S STUFF

To Winry: Well, I'm glad (hugs) Like my mom always says, one life doesn't  
replace another.

To Ed: Thanks for convincing Winry not to shoot (hugs) And oh, it's just an  
homage to the old WB network. Don't worry about it.

To Envy: Good, please don't kill it. There's a lot of videos on there I think  
you'd like. About half of the ones dedicated to you ALWAYS include the scene  
where you stab Ed. It's almost a guarantee.

To Ed/Roy: Yeah, it's a good one. Although the original singers are girls, so  
it's kind of odd...

To Lust: In that case, you are incredibly lucky. I can't take two steps  
without having to pull my hair out of something.

To Wrath: Happy late 4th of July. (hands over giant tub of cotton candy and  
packet of firecrackers)

Zilo's Blue Pen

**Roy: **(coughing) **No…really…I'm fine!!**

Barry the Chopper: You're on your way… 

**Kimbley: Now that **_**really **_**sounds like fun!**

**Ed: **(sighs) **Yeah, yeah…**

**Envy: Uh…sure.**

**Winry: That's right. Thanks **

**Ed: No problem.**

**Envy: Heh heh…my favorite moment…**

**Ed: Shut up.**

**Envy: Make me.**

**Ed & Roy: Um…okay…**

**Lust: Sucks for you. Sorry about that.**

**Wrath: **(evil smile)

Ed: Why the hell would you give sugar and fireworks to a homunculus!? 

More questions and comments from me.

Wrath-What would you do if, maybe my best friend might of, um drew you in a  
dress? YOU WERE A VERRY PRETTY PRINCESS!

Dante- If you could change something you have done, what would it be, and  
why?

Envy- My name is...  
Shake-Zula.  
The mic-rula,  
The old schoolah,  
Ya wanna trip? I'll bring it to ya.  
Frylock and I'm on top, Rock you like a cop  
Meatwad you up next with your knock-knock.  
Meatwad make the money, see.  
Meatwad get the honeys, G.  
Drivin in my car, livin' like a star.  
Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus

Check it.  
Check it, check it.

'Cuz we are the aqua teens,  
make the homies say ho! and the girlies wanna scream  
'Cuz we are the aqua teens,  
make the homies say ho! and the girlies wanna scream

Aqua Teen Hunger Force.  
Number 1 in the Hood, G  
GO TEEN SHAKE!

Moofy-Fan 

**Wrath: Hm. I'd kill her :D**

**Dante: What would I have done differently? I wouldn't have let Hohenheim get away so that I wouldn't have to worry about making a new Stone myself. With him here, I wouldn't have to go through any trouble, because everything I'd ever need would be right here with me.**

**Envy: Don't do drugs.**

Dum, dum, dum... Dadum! BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM!

To Envy:  
But there are a lot of vids that are about you and don't insult you. There's  
a bunch of music videos about you with the song 'When you're evil'. They're  
really cool!

-HisokaYukiko

Envy: …At least let me destroy the dumb ones. And then YouTube will be filled with only Pro-Homunculi videos!!! BUWHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Roy- If you had to choose, would you pick seeing Ed in a barely there  
miniskirt (and doing something perverted (in a very good way) about it) or  
having every woman in the world wear habits for the rest of your lifetime?

Alykat2007 

Roy: I'd chose the first, just because it would be funny to watch, NOT because I'm gay.

Ed: Why you…

_Ed: Let me think about it for a sec. -thinks then looks at him-... no_

Barry: Why? You don't need it... -still tossing his head around-

Envy: ... now that you said that... I think I will... -starts to poke him  
continuously-

Wrath: ... shut up -puts duck tape over his mouth-

Lust: Fine... I won't...

Scar: I could tell... but I didn't think I'd be attacked...

_Shoushin_

Ed: ……SCREW YOU!

Barry the Chopper: YES I DO!!

Envy: Don't say I didn't warn ya (transforms into Lust and shoots nails through her)

Wrath: MRMMMPHMPHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lust: Thank you.

Scar: You're dealing with a homunculus and a serial killer and you didn't think that pissing us off would make us attack you?

_Hello :) I have a few questions:_

For Ed I have this: I'm short like you but yet I'm 17, I look like I'm 13 and  
can't get respect... or even a boyfriend and people call me all those names  
they call you, but I can't yell at them cause they'll beat me up. What should  
I do?

_EdwardElricsFan4Ever_

Ed: …You could always kill them.

Winry & Al: Ed!!!

Ed: …Or you could learn to ignore them. Not something that _I_ would do, but it's probably a good idea for you. Just ignore those bastards and stick with your friends and eventually, they'll probably find something better to do. Or you could just stand up for yourself; tell them to leave you the hell alone and have some friends around for backup. If they see they can't intimidate you, they might leave you alone. And you know what they say about there being safety in numbers!

_To Ed: The second part doesn't really mean anything. It's just a little  
something I say to all my prey. Oh, and did I forget that the poison gas will  
soon be released with in 10 Minutes? And worst of all I'll make off with Winry  
and you and your cat obsessed brother will be dead! HAHAHAHA! YA DON'T LIKE DAT, EH PIPSQUEAK! AHAHAHAHA! SORRY TINY CAN'T HEAR YA DOWN THERE! AHAHAHA!BETTER START RUNNING CAUSE KILLER MOTH AND BOB ARE AFTER YA, WITH THERE TRUSTY MIDGET ALCHEMIST DETECTOR!HAHAHAHA!...Oh and Dante will be there!_

To Dante, Greed, and Envy: First for Dante's info I stole the money from a  
bank plus if I evacuate them You mean my henchmen right cause the already got  
mask, or the people how must die in a horrible manner cause I think it's  
funny! Second I've already started to lace some hygienic products with the  
poisonous gas in liquid form just for the people to get a good taste of it.)  
Third, so that you know Smilex is a type of toxic nerve gas that kills its  
victims(symptoms are uncontrollable laughter, seizure, nerve tissue in face dying  
and leaving the victim a permanent smile before death)...since you homunculus  
are somewhat immune to it you're okay. So heck, Dante you should wear the mask.  
Anyhow, I gotta a feeling FullMetal shorty is gonna be there so if he tries to  
stop me within 12 hours. If you guys can try to slow him down. My men will  
already be there in the parade armed with uzis in their jackets in case  
Tiny metal dorky and his cat obsessed tin doofus brother shows up. Killer Moth  
and Bob should come soon to slow em down. Just make sure when you hear the  
word "Mask" being yelled by men Dante put them on quickly, other wise like the  
people you'll go out with a smile. Oh! And see if Pride can trick those  
military morons that the parade is all just safe and harmless. Anyhow thanks  
if your gonna be there!  
P.S. I have that Winry girl hostage just incase that helps out! And help your self  
to the free cash!

To Winry: Sorry but, I can't let ya just get killed during the parade! So  
here's ya a gas mask! If you do anything to help Eddy at the parade, though  
I'll change my mind about ya and you'll be the first of the few victims on my  
genocide plan.

To Wrath: Hey kiddo wanna kill Edward cause he's gonna get rid of all the  
candy at the parade!

To Lust & Sloth: Can I ask you to help me kill Ed, if not I can  
understand...

Barry: Gotta a list of victims for ya to chop! List: Roy, Edward, Alphonse, and  
all other military personal who know what I'm up to! Oh! And here is a HUGE  
AXE to chop em with! P.S. My goons are already hunting down Edward! Just help  
em hold Edward off before he can stop my great Nerve Gas Effect!

Pride: If ya can just try to make those idiot military idiots think there is  
nothing wrong with the parade!

To Al: Yes, cats will die during my plans of genocide! I got nothing against  
em, it's just...I wanna make you really angry! P.S. My Goons Killer Moth and  
Bob the Goon are out to kill your brother right now, and I kidnapped Winry!  
So HAHA!

To Roy: Just so you know the deodorant you put on today have that Smilex nerve  
gas in liquid form in it...just so ya know.

To Riza: I just laced your toothpaste with Smilex nerve gas in liquid form.  
Have a Nice Day! HAHAHA!

Gluttony: Wanna try Chop Eddy? I hear it's pretty good!

_Tartarus789_

Ed: Ok, how about you leave us alone? Sound good? Just get over yourself. You know you can't kill us, no matter what you do. AND YOUR TAUNTS AREN'T WORKING!!!! I'm not afraid of you.

Al: "Cat-obsessed"…?

Dante: I'll do whatever I can.

Winry: …(hoping that if she obeys, Ed and Al will somehow find a way out of it)

Wrath: Heh heh heh sure…

Lust & Sloth: I suppose…why not?

Barry the Chopper: Heehee!!!!!!! This is gonna be fun!!!

Pride: Of course.

Al: Eh!? No, stop it! There must be some other way of doing whatever you want to accomplish; I mean, what's the point of killing all these people?

Roy: I didn't put on deodorant today. See, I fell asleep at my desk last night and didn't get a chance to go home. I washed up in the military's bathroom this morning.

Riza: …I had my teeth cleaned by a dentist this morning. You can't possibly mean that you infected all of the dentists' many toothpastes?

Gluttony: Heh, sure!!

_Okay, I have a question (more like comments) for you guys.  
Envy-Don't listen to the people who make fun of your outfit. It suits you.  
Besides, I can't really imagine you wearing anything like what Greed's  
wearing. And yeah, I'd hate the Elrics too if I were in your position. And  
yes, I know you're a guy. 'Cause if you were a woman, there'd DEFINITELY be  
something on your chest.  
Oh, and by the way, you're my favorite character. XP  
Ed-Get over you and your short-nes. There are people out there who are  
shorter AND older than you, and guess what? You still got about another 5  
years to grow. Who knows, if you're lucky, you'll have a HUGE growth spurt and  
grow a foot or so.  
Al-You're awesome.  
Roy-You don't have as many fangirls as you think. Envy is sexier than you.  
Lust-You're just too cool for words. (That pretty much applies for all of the  
Homunculi in my opinion. :3)_

-Raharu-Chan

Envy: Ya hear what she said? Yeah, so take that!!! Thanks.

Ed: That last remark had better not have been sarcastic…

Al:3 Thanks!

Roy: I know that I have more fangirls than him. Her. It.

Envy: CAN YOU READ, YOU BASTARD!?!?

Lust: Thank you.

_FMA FORTUNES ARE  
To Ed: I see your future! You will be tall, taller than the Eiffel Tower, but  
a meteor will hit you and you will be small, smaller than a penny! Or I'll just  
lace all the beer in a bar with Smilex and have someone you know go there and  
invite you.  
Al: I SEE DEAD CATS IN YOUR FUTURE! A LOT OF DEAD CATS UNLESS ED DIES!  
Dante: You will get your Stone and live immortal and kill hundreds of people!  
Envy: YOU'LL KILL THOSE RETARDS WHO CALL YOU GAY AND A MINISKRIT WEARER!  
Greed: You'll get RICH from my parade! And then you'll get a lot of free  
stuff!  
Wrath: I SEE ALOT OF CHOCOLATE FOR YOU IF ED IS DEAD!  
Winry: You'll marry me or you can join the rest of the soon to be dead  
people.  
Roy: You may Ahem survive the poison if you're lucky and get miniskirts in the  
military, if they are not all dead.  
Riza: Smile! Takes out big gun  
Lust: you will have a blah blah blah happy life as a human! Oh and you're  
welcome!  
Sloth: Same thing as Lust!  
Izumi: You will not see your child again, and I am sending Firebug and  
Elctorcutioner after you!_

_Tartarus789_

Ed: That could never happen! And anyway, I don't drink. Hey wait…didn't you already send a letter in!?

Al: …………

Dante: Of course!

Envy: I was gonna do that anyway!

Greed: Heh heh…sounds good to me.

Wrath: YES!!!

Winry: Eheh heh…we'll see.

Roy: …Um……thank you?

Riza: (pulls out her gun)

Lust: Right. Thanks.

Sloth: Like she said.

Izumi: …I'm not afraid of you. I'd kick your ass if you ever showed your face to me, but you're too much of a coward to do so and instead send your minions after me.

_Her evilness is back  
Edo Trevor's my internet boyfriend; it was his sixteenth birthday he's three years older than me don't knock him shorty!  
Kimbley I don't care if you kill me  
Dante no comment...  
RanFan I'm glad you are okay with that  
nothing more to say  
I will return!_

_roxie-san_

Ed: Fine, fine, sorry!

Kimbley: Good.

RanFan: Sure.

_Bonjour my favs! I have a few questions...(mostly to bug you, that is)  
Ed: You are the coolest character ever in the Conqueror of Shambala! (Movie Al  
beat you in the series) Better than...I have to admit...The HOT Roy. Have you  
ever met Ichigo from Bleach? He's kinda like you...except he's SUPER TALL. And  
has bright orange hair. Plus, I don't think you're "Vertically Challenged". People  
must be too tall.hug  
Winry: What type of wrench do you like to use? I love mechanics  
also. Especially electric stuff I do for tech class.gives more wrenches and  
wires - Maybe our advanced tech will make automail better.  
Al: I feel sorry that Ed doesn't let you take a cat. Why didn't you get one  
while you had your body back and was at Izumi's? IT could of been your free  
time. Izumi's nice with cats.hug also  
Riza: I really love your greatness. Nice job keeping Roy in line! I know you  
think he's hot when he smirks.  
Envy: DO NOT CARE for what those people have to say about your style! You're  
cool no matter what! Ask the Envy fangirls who like you better than Ed.  
Roy: Do you know Harry Potter? My little brother thinks you look like him. Can  
I be in the military if I pass the test AND wear miniskirts? Including high  
heels?  
Jean: I have a character in my fanfiction who's perfect for you to date! I  
made you both a couple!...but my story's not in fanfiction...It's on  
Quizilla...  
Scar:( Even through you're my favorite baddie in the series...) WHY IN THE  
WORLD OF HELL DID YOU KILL WINRY'S PARENTS IN THE MANGA! Bad Scar-san!sprays milk on you  
Hughes: Can I baby-sit Elysia sometimes? I'm a pro at babysitting.  
Noa: As much as I hate to say this...I hate you since Ed and Al took you to  
travel along in the end of the movie.  
Wrath: Got ya some candy! gives bucket loads of candy Waste it on Scar!_

_Winter Phantom_

Ed: Thanks…Roy is definitely not hotter than me!! Why would I watch a cleaning product that smells like strawberries?

Winry: I have all kinds, really. Which one I use to hit Ed depends on how much he busted up his automail.

Al: Well yeah…but we had to train too much, and while teacher may like cats, she'd never let me keep one at that age.

Riza: Thanks…um, but you're wrong.

Envy: Yeah, I know.

Roy: No, I have no idea who this pottery person is. You can…I'm hoping you're a girl though? (Hey, there are some crazy guys out there!)

Havoc: Just find me a real girl!!!!!!

Scar: It's very complicated…it was a time of war…And I really don't mind milk.

Hughes: Of course!! Oh, and I'm sure you'd love to see some pictures of her, right?

Noa: Oh…well, I'm sorry you feel that way…

Wrath: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

_Blazing Pink is back! Or you can just call me Blaze._

Ed: I agree and disagree with you about Al having a cat. You have no time to  
take care of it and it might get killed by one of your enemies. That would  
leave Al depressed. It's better to have a cat after you settled in. Then  
again, having an animal sidekick isn't so bad! It could help you get out of  
trouble like Lassie does (although Lassie is a dog, but who cares)! Well, it's  
really up to you since you're the older brother.

Al: Here, have a stuffed cat while you're traveling! 

Roy: I love and hate you. You're a hot guy, but you make fun of Ed and steal  
Havoc's girlfriends! Leave those two alone! I may be a girl, but I'm tough!  
Oh, and I don't like wearing mini-skirts, so there! (blows raspberry)

Winry: Uh... what was that part about you going to the bathroom with a  
toaster? o0 Anyway, I'll try your advice after school starts. I don't have  
his number or e-mail because I left for vacation early, so I didn't have time  
to ask him (sweatdrops).

Envy: WHAT!?! NO BLANKET!?! Oh well. Life goes on. Could you instead beat up  
this kid I hate? If you do, I'll promise to never nag you about crocheting a  
blanket again (although it was your own fault when you asked the question,  
"What do you want me to do!? Crochet you a blanket!?").

Envy and Ed: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER WAS THAT!?! I want a positive answer,  
people! Or do you LIKE the stories about you two making out (which gives me a  
disturbing image)!?! If you don't give me a real answer, I'll blackmail you!  
That's right! I have ALL of your embarrassing photos with me!

Until next time! Blazing Pink

Ed: I stand by my decision. And anyway, how the hell could a little cat help us out!?

Al: Thanks!!

Roy: Is it _my _fault that women find me more attractive than Havoc and therefore opt to go out with me? And Ed's just _too _easy to make fun of!

Winry: Uh…someone once told me to go in a bathtub with a toaster or something stupid like that because they didn't like me. Oh, and good luck!!

Envy: Shut the hell up. Alright, alright, I'll kill the damn kid.

Ed: Of course we will! Geeze, we were just looking at each other to confirm if the other wanted to do it.

Envy: Actually, I was considering killing Ed right then and there…I mean…Yup, that's right!!

_Al: You make me happy. Here, I'll let you cuddle Mikey. -Mikey purrs-_

Ed: I really don't want to say something that may make you sad. But this has  
annoyed me. For a really long time. Kay?

So, Human Transmutation is transmutation on human souls correct? So what  
confuses me is how in the heck did Shou do that to poor little Nina without  
getting ripped up like you and Al? Isn't that Human Transmutation? Cause it's  
bonding her soul with Alexander's right?

Scar: I feel bad for you. Doesn't it suck to have an arm that goes  
completely against you're religion, and then to have seen so much pain. You  
need a sympathy card. -hands out sympathy card- And therapy. Lot's of therapy.  


Also... Erm, how do you get married in Ishbal? I just had a weird dream last  
night is all, and was wondering.

Envy: I want you to meet Dr. Phil. 

Winry: Aw...how sweet. -hands shiny new wrench and automail parts- Knock  
yourself out.

Havoc: 0.o You know that beggars can't be choosers right. -.-

Breda: Why are you so afraid of dogs? Just curious.

Fuery & Alphonse: -glomps- Let's build an animal shelter for all the animals.

Hohenheim: Rats! Oh well. I guess that I'll just not bother he...she...it.  
Technically a he, but... Just wondering...

Why'd you do that in the movie! Did you know how sad you made poor Ed! And I  
cried so hard!

Wrath: You're getting spoiled! -hands candy-

BakaKonekoRKL: -hands pie and candies- More sugar! SUGAR HIGH RAMPAGE...

Greed: You frustrate me. Cause I was like, die! Die! Then you died and I  
cried...-sobs- I liked you and I hated you. Congrats.

_Onna-san_

Al: Aww…he's so cute:3

Ed: No…not exactly. What he did was turn her into a chimera. Human Transmutation is more like what we tried to do; bringing someone back from the dead. People don't normally bind humans' souls to animals', so I guess it could be a variety of human transmutation, but I've never really thought of it like that.

Scar: Thanks. Really. I won't give you all the details, but it would be like a wedding in a Middle-Eastern country in your world.

Envy: Who?

Winry: (gasps) Thanks so much!!!!!!

Havoc: …Gimme a break!!

Breda: ……I'd rather not talk about it.

Fuery & Al: Yay!! I'm with you, one hundred percent!!!

Hohenheim: …I'm sorry.

Wrath: Heehee

BakaKonekoRKL: Ok, I know I said I didn't have time to say hi to each of you individually, but omg pie xDDDDDD I definitely need this right now (see end rant).

Greed: …Well at least _you _got what you wanted.

_Gomen, that's all I have time for!! I now need to obsessively research Blood+…I think I know what happens at the end, and I think I'm gonna cry!!! It's just not fair!!!!!!!!!!! Um…for those of you who don't watch Blood+, DO IT. The last episode that was on on Saturday was so amazingly…amazing!!! It's my second fave series…actually, it may be tied in first with FMA ; So I'll do that while my stupid father watches some TV show in the next room where the girl sounds like Wrath screaming "Mommy! Mommy!" …Uh. Until next time!_


	52. Chapter 52

**Hey! You'll never guess who finally got their laptop to work! Gomen a ****t****housand times- really, I'm super sorry it took so long bows. ****But with that being said, arigatou, arigatou so much for being so patient with me.****So ****now ****I'll try to do my best!!! (I swear, I sound like a Shojo manga artist or something ****lmao**** Unfortunately, I still haven't got an e-mail address going…so I'll have to access your questions on the review page…sigh this is so complicated……OH! AND IF YOU REVIEWED TO A ****CHAPTER**** EARLIER THAN ****51, GOMEN, BUT I HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING OF ****IT'S**** EXISTENCE. So you may ****wanna**** resubmit it if you (for whatever reason) reviewed at page like3 or something. ****Cuz**** I know people have done that before. Anyways, here we go!**

_Blazing Pink is back! Or you can just call me Blaze. __Ed: I agree and disagree with you about Al having a cat. You have no time to take care of it and it might get killed by one of your enemies. That would leave Al depressed. It's better to have a cat after you settled in. Then again, having an animal sidekick isn't so bad! It could help you get out of trouble like Lassie does (although Lassie is a dog, but who cares)! Well, it's really up to you since you're the older brother. __Al: Here, have a stuffed cat while you're traveling! __Roy: I love and hate you. You're a hot guy, but you make fun of Ed and steal Havoc's girlfriends! Leave those two alone! I may be a girl, but I'm tough! Oh, and I don't like wearing mini-skirts, so there! (__blows__ raspberry)__Winry: Uh... what was that part about you going to the bathroom with a toaster? __o0__ Anyway, I'll try your advice after school starts. I don't have his number or e-mail because I left for vacation early, so I didn't have time to ask him (__sweatdrops__Envy: WHAT!?! NO BLANKET!?! Oh well. Life goes on. Could you instead beat up this kid I hate? If you do, I'll promise to never nag you about crocheting a blanket again (although it was your own fault when you asked the question, "What do you want me to do!? Crochet you a blanket!?").__Envy and Ed: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER WAS THAT!?! I want a positive answer, people! Or do you LIKE the stories about you two making out (which gives me a disturbing image)!?! If you don't give me a real answer, I'll blackmail you! That's right! I have ALL of your embarrassing photos with me!__BakaKonakoRKL__: Keep up the good work! Your advice column rocks!__Until next time! Blazing Pink_

**Ed: …A cat as a sidekick? Who do you take me for!? Who's so pathetic that they need an animal sidekick!? Listen, we'll get one once we get our bodies back and settle down like you said, alright? And who's this "Lassie" you're talking about?**

**Al: Yee:) Thanks!**

**Roy: First of all, why the hell **_**shouldn't**_** I make fun of him? C'mon, it's funny and you know it.**

**Ed: IS NOT!!!**

**Roy: Yeah it is. Secondly, it's really not **_**my**_** fault that Havoc can't hold onto his girls, who just so happen to find me more attractive than him.**

**Winry: Oh…Well, good luck!!**

**Envy: …Fine, I'll kill the kid.**

**Ed & Envy: NO!!!**

**Ed: You're bluffing!!**

**Envy: We hate each other!!**

**Ed: That's right!**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Arigatou. I just hope you still think so, even though I've been away for so long '**

_Her evilness is back__E__do__- T__revor's my internet boyfriend it was his sixteenth birthday he's three years older t__han me don't knock him __shorty__K__imbley__- I don't care if you kill me __D__ante__- no comment...__RanF__an__- I__ glad you are okay__ with that__nothing more to say__I__ will return!_

_roxie__-san_

**Ed: Well, gee, I'm ****sooo**** sorry!**

**Kimbley****: Fine, then, I will.**

_Ed: Let me think about it for a sec. -thinks then looks at him-... no__Barry: Why? You don't need it... -still tossing his head around-__Envy: ... now that you said that__.. I think I will... -starts to poke him continuously-__Wrath: ... shut up -puts duck tape over his mouth-__Lust: Fine... I won't...__Scar: I could tell.__. but I didn't think I'd be attacked..._

_Shoushin_

**Ed: **(sticks tongue out at her)

**Barry ****The**** Chopper: Yes I do!!!!!! …Kind of!!**

**Envy: DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME YOU PISSED OFF A HOMUNCULUS!?!?**

**Wrath: …MRMPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! MMMPHHHH!!!!! MRRMMMMPHHH!!!!!!!!!!! . **

**Scar: Well, then, whose fault is that?**

_Roy- If you had to choose, would you pick seeing Ed in a barely there miniskirt (and doing something perverted (in a very good way) about it) or having every woman in the world wear habits for the rest of your lifetime?__That's about it. Oh, hi everyone else, and awesome job __BakaKonekoRKL__, I'm __loving__ this __fic_

_Alykat2007_

**Roy: Th****e first…just because it would be funny, I could torment him about it, and I like my women in a lack of clothes.**

**Riza: **(aims gun at his head)

**Roy: …Of course, I'm just kidding.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Eheh heh. Arigatou. :)**

_Dum, __dum__dum__Dadum__! BUM __BUM__BUM__BUM__BUM__To Envy__But there are a lot of __vids__ that are about you and don't insult you. There's a bunch of music videos about you with the song 'When you're evil'. They're really cool!__-__HisokaYukiko_

**Envy: ****…I don't care. That damn place is going DOWN!!!**

_Hello everyone! is new and hands out cookies__Havoc: I really don't see why those girls like Mustang, IMO he's ugly and you're pretty cute. My point, you need to__ try for a girlfriend, so ask __Sci__eska__ out on a date. __Or Maria Ross.__ Ever thought about them? __Fuery__: E! __huggles__You're__ just too adorable! They needed to show you more, I was sad at how little you were in the movie.__. by the way, do you like anyone at the military, like __Riza__Hughes: You're my favorite character! I cried when Envy killed you (Envy, you're a bastard.), and my mom did too. I'm making my boyfriend watch it __soon,__ I bet it'll make him cry too. Can I see some pictures of __Elysia__? And how long have you been with __Gracia__To Ed and Al: __Elricest__ is disgusting, just statin__g, but can Al play with my kittie__s? Sophie and __Jiji__ are sweet, they won't hurt him!__Envy: I hate you. But I think you should date Winry. __EnvyxWin__ is cute. __Scar and Lust: If Lust turned into a human and you didn't die, would you two get together?__Last one before I go!__Izumi and Sig: My oldest brother has a friend that has your name, I thought it was so cool! But my question, why did you try to bring your son back to life, and Sig, if you knew, would you have stopped her?__hands all chocolate __pocky__ Bye!__-Kitten-_

**Havoc: Well, everyone says he's more attractive than me (thanks for saying the opposite :). As for what you said about ****Scieszka**** and Ross…well, I think someone else kind of has a thing for ****Maria, and sorry, but ****Scieszka**** just isn't my type.**

**Fuery****Heh**** thanks! But no, I don't like anyone in the military right now.**

**Hughes: Hey, now, ****try**** to stay optimistic. Just because I died doesn't mean that you all have to get all sad about it and make other people upset. ****But of course you can see some pictures of ****Elysia****!!! I'm sure that will brighten your day!!!! Oh, and ****Gracia**** and I have been together for…well, we've been married for five years (at the point when I was killed), but we were going out for three years before that.**

**Ed: …Sure. ****For a little while.**** Just because you said that ****Elricest**** is disgusting. (A/N the authoress does not in any way agree with this statement 3)**

**Al: ****Yay****!!! Kitties!!!**

**Envy: …Are you a freaking drug addict or something!? Why the hell would I date that freaking whore!?**

**Winry: Hey!!!**

**Ed: Hey!! Don't call her that!!!!!**

**Envy: Y****e****ah, yeah, whatever, pipsqueak.**

**Ed: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?**

**Envy: Pip. Squeak.**

**Ed: THAT DOES IT!!!!!!! **(fighting ensues)

**Scar: …Maybe.**

**Izumi: Because he was my son. If you're still a kid, you may not understand, but when you have kids, you will.**

**Sig: I'm not sure I could have if I'd tried. She can be very determined if she sets her mind to something…**

_Ed: which would you rather do, kiss Envy or drink milk?__Envy: which would you rather do, kiss Ed or go in to Gluttony's mouth?__Wrath: you rock!gives sugar and $20).__Envy(__again): will you crochet me a blanket and a shirt?__Edo(__again):since I cant draw the __flammel__ sign, can you?_

_edward__elric__ is a __srimp_

**Ed****:…****Neither? ****…Ok…I guess I'd drink milk…a little…**

**Envy: I've been swallowed by Gluttony already in the manga, so I'll go with that one. Hmm…unless I could seriously piss off the Full Mini Pipsqueak by kissing him…not a bad idea…**

**Wrath: YAY!!**

**Envy: No fking way.**

**Ed: Uh, yeah, sure.**** Here you go. **(gives paper with the Flammel on it)

_Hello again. Sorry for not reviewing for so long, but this is a really good __fic__. I do have a question to make up for not reviewing__My friend and I are attending this summer academy and we do share one class. In her first period she sits next to this guy who has been kissing her and touching her even though she has said multiple times that she has a boyfriend. I have suggested that she report it to security, but she hasn't done so yet. Can I have your opinion, please?__Thanks!__silver candle_

**Ed: Tell your friend to punch the guy in his damn face!!! He shouldn't be doing that! At the least she should tell him to ****fcuk**** off!**

**Winry: What she REALLY needs to do is**** talk to the security people. Drag her to them if you have to. That's classified as sexual harassment, you know, so she definitely needs to do something about it. And if she doesn't think that it's important or something…well, she's wrong, and you need to make sure that she knows that.**

((Winter Phantom is back! Finally! I found my account again...heehee...))Roy: Of course I'm a girl! - And Harry Potter is...like a younger version of you I can date...Riza: Fine. I'm wrong! If he was a nice, not perverted, or an I-like-to-tease-Ed or I-hate-paperwork-its-boring person, would you date him?Hughes: - Yep! I really felt your pain when you got squished by the Elysia board on the 13th ep. Love does hurt.Jean: I WILL! Except they like Roy better than you again! If I wasn't an Ed fangirl, I would of been your number 1 fan!Winry: So it's a special type? In the manga you turn him to S and the anime, you leave him a lump...You have good aim, sister.Envy: Have you ever watched the Conqueror of Potatoes or the Conqueror of Shamallama? Really crazy people love to play you.Ed: I know it has a weird title, but it's a ghost show about sword fighting. Really cool! A character reminds me of Winry in a way. How do you feel about being one of the most famous (and hottest) anime characters in the world?Al: Okay...Do you know the Sims 2 pets? You can have a cat and make your own self in the game. Everyone wins! -Scar: Oh well, I tried. Did you ever forgive your brother for doing alchemy anyway?Wrath: jumping up and downHave you ever had sour candy? They make you more hyper!!Noa: Yeah well, my friend thinks you're really awesome. Have you ever asked Ed about Rose (your double)?

Uxinta-Youkai

**Roy: Uh-huh……**

**Riza****: Maybe…I guess…**

**Hughes: Tell me about it!!! I was crushed! Literally!**

**Havoc: D: Oh come on! There's ****gotta**** be **_**someone**_** who likes me more than Ed AND the Colonel!**

**Winry: Thanks Well, I have been throwing things at him since we were really little…****heehee****…**

**Envy: I don't think so.**

**Ed: I guess it sounds cool…Um…It feels great!!!!!! ****xD**

**Al: You lost me within the first sentence…Sorry!! '**

**Scar: Yes.**

**Wrath: No…****Gimme**** some!!!**

**Noa****: Thanks. No, I haven't. If he wanted to tell me about her, he would have already.**

Ed:-gigglesnort- O'course you were! Oh and the look on your face DEFINENTLY made you look like that was what you meant seeping with sarcasm!Kimbley:Well... OK !Lets go Is Kimbley-san happy now?Scar:I can sell out my friends if I want to! They are MY friends after all! She's also been really moody and a total arse-facey lately. Its quite irritating, seeing as she takes her stupid mood swings out on me. Paybacks a b!Roy:sniffle I was just kidding around! You should be able to tell! sniffle I'm telling the Fuhrer that you were yelling at me! runs to the FuhrerFuhrer Bradley:Pride, Roy is being mean to me! He is making your military look bad! Punish him! Or, can I?Hughes:Can I look at them after I get my hug?Gah!! I think you get killed in the next episode that is on! cries You promised you wouldn't!Riza:Thank you! You're the only one who helped me in my time of need. glares at everyone else I will definitely take your advice! Perhaps I'll start off with a nice yaoi tragedy. Maybe one where Roy gets killed and is in Ed's arms uber devious glares at Roy.Everyone:I have just watched one of the funniest animes! It's right up there with FMA! It's called Ouran High School Host Club. My favorite characters are Tamaki-(The "father" of the host club), Kyoya-(The "mother" of the host club) and the twins!-(They've got a gay incest thing going on!) w00t to Ouran High School Host Club! pulls a cord on one of those party streamer thingsThat is all!The Bubble Wrap Alchemist!

**Ed: Don't make me hit you.**

**Kimbley****: Happier than I was, yes.**

**Scar: …Just remember this when they do something similar to you…**

**Roy: Are you on the ****Homuncului's**** side or something!?**

**Pride: I think I'd like to kill him, if you don't mind.**

**Roy: 0o**

**Hughes: Ok. I'm sorry!! '**

**Riza****: No problem…but please don't take it out on them.**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Isn't it just the greatest!?!? ****Hai****maintenant**** my favorite shows are FMA, Blood+ and OHSHC.**** I'd like to do advice columns for the latter two, eventually**** (Blood+ would be a challenge. I mean, ****Haji****: …Have a sandwich. ****Lol**** sorry, inside joke…)****…But OHSHC is getting ****liscenced**** by ****Funimation**** and is due to be out on DVD next year…I hear the ****v.a****. of ****Momiji****Furuba****) is playing ****Hunny****, and the ****v.a****. of everyone's favorite midget really wants to play Tamaki…****(let's keep our fingers crossed, especially my fellow ****Risembool**** Rangers!)**

**Ed: HEY!! Who're you calling a midget!?**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Oops, ****sorry :P**

_Ed: Oh, thanks for clearing this up. __So on__ the same subject. (Sorry)__If you were __say__, turned into a cat. Then one of __you're__ cat friends died and you could still use alchemy. Would __bringing__ you're cat friend back to life have the same results? It's for a __fanfic__, just so you know.__Al__&__Fuery__: Yippee! -transmutes large building and begins bringing in floods of cats-__Envy: Herm...Dr. Phil is a psychiatrist dude. __ Meet Oprah.__ Something tells me you wouldn't get along with her at all...__Breda: Have you ever noticed that if you switched two letters around you're name becomes Bread? XP__-__Onna__-san_

**Ed: No problem. ****Um…Probably.**** I don't know, as I'm not a cat, but I'm assuming it would. I've never tried to bring another creature back to life, but I'm fairly certain that it'd have the same results.**

**Al: …Where'd you find them all!?**

**Envy: Can I kill her?**

**Breda: …Um…of course.**

_Wow... I couldn't really talk to you guys for sometime 'cause my mom's at the hospital and I had to stay at other peoples houses... -cries- Now I can't sleep at night wondering how my mom feels right now...__To Ed__Aren't you going to cheer me up? -continues crying-__To the Author__Aww__... your computer is broken? That's sad... I hope you can get a new one!__To __Gracia__You're a mother.. Can you tell me how it was like when __Elysia__was__ born?__To Winry__Ed sucks at cheering people up... Can you cheer me up?__Gothic __Fangirl_

**Everyone: GOMEN!!**

**Ed: Um…Um…Um…Don't feel bad!!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Arigatou…I finally did, which is how I'm typing this. But it's not as bad as your mom being in the hospital…I hope she's alright!!!!!!!**

**Gracia****: Well, not to scare you, but it was painful beyond belief. But when I was able to hold her in my arms for the first time, I knew it was worth it. And watching her grow up has just been amazing so yes, it was worth it.**

**Winry: Um…I baked a pie using ****Gracia's**** recipe…you can have it if it makes you feel better!!**

_**Ok, that's it for tonight…I need to go paint my bookshelf ' **__**Hopefully**__** I'll get my e-mail set up soon…ALSO for all you Blood+ fans (I know there are some of you, and for those of you who haven't seen it, go watch it!!!!), go to YouTube and type in "Who Knew Blood+" (without the quote marks) and click on the first one. **__**Stunning.**__** You can also visit my LJ for beautiful pictures of the last episode…**__**anyway,**__** I'll get to the rest of the questions next time, starting **__**wiiiiiiiith**__**…FriendlFangirl88. So please be patient; I'll be caught up soon. Actually, if I feel like it, I may post at like 3 or 4 in the morning tonight…I **__**dunno**__**. It depends. So Arigatou for those of you who have been patient and waited, **__**and also please review to this chapter (52) if you're **__**gonna**__** review, and not any earlier ones, otherwise I can't answer them. Arigatou, and 'till next time, peace!!**_


	53. Chapter 53

_**So I'm beginning to type this column at 12:30 am on 8/16. Let's see when I end. Hopefully, the **__**Ouran**__** twins and talk of **__**Haji's**__** sandwich will keep me awake…As well as countless AMVs consisting of thunder**__**, waffles, cats**__** and more.**_

_Hey Envy, I believe congratulations are in order. You see, my friend (who doesn't reach the point of full obsession nearly as often as I do) has extended her FMA __obsessiveness__ to you. Previously, it encompassed primarily Ed and Wrath. Want to know how I know this? Last night she was on __youtube__ watching music videos centric on you...and she took __screencaps__Oh, and for all the homunculi, my mythology class yesterday accidently gave me some serious insight into all of your characters. We were discussing the universal consciousness and theories that explain parallel __myths,__ and a short conversation about the difference between souls and minds struck me and when I expanded on that I got shot right into something that explains all of you so well! So...there may be one-shots featuring each of you about to be written in my future.__BTW, Roy...you were one of the people who __has__ been in this dream I've had. It's been a different person every night since I watched Transformers, but a couple weeks ago you were one of them. I was sitting on your lap in the back seat of a car that was driving itself, but then when another car went by I thought it might be a good idea to make it look like someone was driving, so I went to go sit in the front seat only you were trying to hold me back in the back seat and...__yeah__...I don't know why I told you that.__Also...something just occurred to me that I should mention to Havoc. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, your smoking might be a turn-off to the type of girl you're interested in? __Just a thought.__Now, as this is actually supposed to be an advice column, I must now ask for advice. I am taking three college classes this summer, and I can't afford the textbooks. I'm sort-of making do...but it's difficult. I'm not eligible for financial aid until fall...and time is against me in a lot of ways. __Thoughts?__Ideas?__ Helpful hints? __Anyone?_

_FriendlyFangirl88_

**Envy: Well…****I guess that's cool… as long as she knows I'm better than both of them!**

**Lust: Sure, fine.**

**Gluttony: …****kay**

**Roy: …Whatever you do right before you go to bed, **_**stop doing it.**_

**Havoc: Yes, yes, I know! Everyone tells me that, ****so I'm trying my best!**

**Ed: Get a job? Even a part-time one will help. Maybe babysit some brats or do the whole cashier thing, but that's probably your safest bet. You could also try doing things like cleaning around your house and getting your parents to pay you. And who knows, you could have $50 in that old desk drawer. Unfortunately, that's really all the advice I can offer you; get some kind of job.**

_More questions and comments from me.__Fletcher- What would you do if you heard your brother talking about putting you up for __adopion__Russell- WASUP CHARLIE MURFY!?!?!?! punches__Greed- Would you go on the show Pimp my Ride?_

_Moofy__-fan_

**Fletcher: Uh…haven't you already asked me this? Like a thousand times?**

**Russell: ****Oww**(rubs punched arm)

**Greed: ****Hellz**** yeah I would!**

_Ed: ... __aww__ish__teh__wittle__ puppy mad? -__pats__ his head- It's okay __wittle__ puppy... we'll get you a new toy and you'll be all better! -__laughs__-__Barry: You do? -__puts__ his head over mine- Ooh... I'm a crazy lady cutter upper!__Envy: -coughs up blood all over him- ugh... -falls over dead, after a few moments, jumps up, wounds are gone- __Yay__ for immortality!!__Wrath: HA! You can't talk! -puts some more duck tape on him-__Lust: Welcome!__Scar: ... well... if it isn't obvious... I don't think things through... usually... and I thought I'd give you two a hug sense I you both off with the whole patting your head thing... but I just made you __more mad_

_Shoushin_

**Ed: I. Am. Going. ****To.**** Kill. ****You.**

**Barry ****The**** Chopper: HEY!!! Give me that back!!!!!!!**

**Envy: What the hell ARE you!?**

**Wrath**** MRMMMMPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Scar: Well I hope you've learned your lesson.**

_I am your FATHER!__To Envy__Well... that __spicegirls__vid__ wasn't that good anyways. You can destroy all the __vids__ that degrade you... __Except my favorite __EnvyXEd__ one where you declare your love...__LOL! I'm not an __EnvyXEd__ fan, don't worry. It's just a joke bit done by __cosplayers__. Don't destroy that one.__-__HisokaYukiko_

**Ed: No you're not. My father is a worthless bastard pile of scum.**

**Hohenheim: …**

**Envy: No, I think I'm ****gonna**** destroy that one, too.**

_SAZ'S STUFF__I'm so happy! Know why? Guess? __Anyone?__ No?__I get to give out random gifts today to all my favorite people!!__So...__Roy: __Yay__! You're fine! (__hugs__ again)__Riza: Do you know where I can get a can of oxygen in case he starts that coughing thing again...?__Barry the Chopper: Don't know what that means, but cool! (__gives__ a couple of steak knives, a butcher knife, and a __spork__) Happy Give Day!__Kimbley__: You're only saying that because it wasn't YOUR face! (__gives__ a bunch of firecrackers and a couple sticks of dynamite) Don't '__splode__ it all in one place!__Scar: Here! (__gives__ a pair of sunglasses) In case you break yours! Don't forget to smile!__Lust: (gives nail kit) Keep those deadly things looking pretty!__Dante: (gives expensive dress) __Uhm__...don't trip on the hem?__Gluttony: (gives a ticket to all-you-can-eat-buffet) __Just__ don't eat the ticket!__Envy: I don't have anything to give you...hmm...but I do have a question! __Why're__ people asking you to crochet them blankets?? Have you taken up old lady hobbies in your spare time, or something?__Anyone: Want a whole bunch of balloons?__ZILO'S STUFF__To__ Winry: No problem. Keep up the good mechanic work (thumbs up__To Envy: I'll bet. My sister drew you in regular pants...it didn't look right. She says you look like that on purpose so people will call you a woman and you have an excuse to kill '__em__accusingly__) Is this true?__To Lust: Eh, I'll get over it.__To the Homunculi: Random bored question. If you had to be locked in a room with one of the other __Homuculi__ for, let's say a month, which one would you prefer the most?__To Ed: (about Wrath) __Because__ I'm preparing for trouble and making it double. __Duh.__To Envy: Another random question. If you had to be locked in a room with one of the __Elrics__, which would you prefer?__That's all for now.__ Stay in school. Unless you don't go to school, then, don't drink and drive.__Zilo's__ Blue Pen_

**Roy: Oh, god, not again!**

**Riza: …Perhaps if you didn't hug him so tightly he'd be able to breathe easier and you wouldn't need the oxygen can? ****Just a thought.**

**Barry ****The**** Chopper: Woo!**

**Kimbley****: Can I make it explode all over you? **(evil grin)

**Scar: …Thank you.**

**Lust: Thanks…**

**Dante: Of course I won't!**

**Gluttony: **(huuuuuuuuge smile)

**Envy: …No reason.**

**Ed: Actually, in one of the earlier chapters-**

**Envy: SHUT UP!!!**

**Ed: -someone asked him what he did in his spare time or something like that-**

**Envy: I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!**

**Ed: -and he sarcastically answered, "I crochet blankets, what else?"…Or something ****like**** that. And I don't think anyone wants a bunch of balloons, but thanks anyway.**

**Envy: WHY YOU!!!!!!-**

**Winry: Thanks **

**Envy: NO!!! That's just dumb. I'd kill people anyway, I mean, what's stopping me?**

**Lust: Hmm…good question.**

**Gluttony: Wrath, ****cuz**** he could use his Alchemy to make delicious food!!** (drools)

**Lust: Maybe Sloth…because we can talk with each other easily.**

**Greed: Could I have everyone?**

**Wrath: My mommy!!!!!**

**Ed: …Uh-huh…**

**Envy: Hmm…Ed, because if I killed his little brother, he'd probably kill me. This way, I'll just kill him and kill Al later (Al's too pathetic to come after me, even if I killed Ed).**

**Ed & Al: HEY!!!!**

**Al: What if we don't go to school and we can't drive?**

_Yo__, I've read some of this, and it's hilarious! I just finished watching the series, so I'm in the mood for a little fun, __hehe__!! I hope you will update soon!__Kay, first question goes to: __Ed: Where did you get those tight leather pants? They look so absolutely sexy on you! __And who would you rather end up with: Winry or Rose?__Roy: __Aww__, poor baby, you lost an eye during the last episode! And now you look like the Fuhrer! Good grief! Is it a curse or something? That everyone who achieves something in the military has to lose an eyeball and wear that pirate thing? Oh well, I guess __it's__ equivalent exchange, right?__Winry: I'm sorry to say this, but your voice sounds so annoying in the English version of the anime. Although, I do give you credits for your looks!__Hughes: WHY? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE, YOU BAKA? You were like the best character in the military, well, after Roy.__Jean Havoc: stop smoking. You will get lung cancer one of those days.__Winry's__dog :__ how did u get your __automail__ leg?__I guess that's all for now__ update soon! __burningSunset_

**Ed: Um…I don't know…some store. Honestly, they're both really nice and really pretty, but I've known Winry longer. We're closer to each other, and she also doesn't have a kid.**

**Roy: Hmm…Well the last Fuhrer had an ****eyepatch****, so maybe the new one will, too, eh??**

**Winry: Um…well, thanks for the second part!**

**Hughes: How should I know? I guess they just like to kill off all the best characters or something.**

**Havoc: I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING!!!**

**Den: ****Arf****aarf**** woof ****woof****arf****arf**

**Winry: A wild dog attacked him. Luckily only his leg was damaged to the point where we had to replace it with ****automail**

_Hey, __shorty__, if you could've, would you have tried to find another way not to be trapped on Earth and still close the Gate and stay in __Amestris_

_Shadow Knight of Oblivion_

**Ed: Ignoring the "short" comment, of course I would! ****As long as Al came back, too.**

_**Wow, I actually caught up!!! **__**Yay**__**!!! And it's only 3am!! Amazing!!! You can thank OHSHC for keeping me awake (especially **__**Hikaru**__**, Kaoru and Tamaki, who need to be in my and Lindsay's beds **__**lol**__** sorry, we had a long night on AIM, and besides **__**Haji's**__** sandwich, that's what we talked about **__**lol**__**). Well, now I'm alone on AIM, so I need more AMVs to keep me awake so I won't have to be tortured tomorrow…or today **__**lol**__** by my evil grandma. So I hope you enjoyed this, and please review!**_


	54. Chapter 54

_**I'm glad that you guys haven't given up on **__**me :**__** ) But I have an announcement to make and a follow-up question. For those of you who read the FMA manga, **__**Arakawa-**__**sama**__** is currently working on a new one! Gomen, I don't have the name of it, but you can read all about it towards the end of the latest issue of Anime Insider. It sounds good, so check it out! But does this mean that the FMA manga is finished in Japan, or did she give up on it? Or could she possibly be working on both simultaneously?**_

_**Also…I figured out how to look at reviews from earlier chapters and know I haven't replied to them yet. I'm an idiot **__**sweatdrop**____**gomen**___

_Ok__I just wanted to give H__avoc some advice with the ladies...Get some axe __deodorant__. I have seen the commercials for it and girls will be all __on you like "__Bom__Chicka__Wah__Wah__Ed you are not short you are taller than me because I am only 5'2__-gossipmonger_

**Havoc****: Um…are you sure about that? **

**Ed: That's what I keep telling everyone!!**

_Izumi__1.__ Why did you give Wrath to the gate? He was your baby and you looked sad after you did it.__2. How'd you stay in the gate for so long?__Wrath__1.__ Why did you miss Izumi (your real Mommy) during the movie? __2. If you had never eaten the red stones, would you have stayed with Sig and Izumi?__3. Do you have ADD?__Envy__1.__ Why did you kidnap and corrupt Wrath's mind?__2. How do you feel about being called a palm tree?__Silverviper2134_

**Izumi: After I transmuted him…he was no longer my child, not even a human. There was no way to turn him back, so as much as it hurt me, what else was I supposed to do? It was better than letting a homunculus run loose in the world. As for your second question…well, where else was I supposed to go?**

**Wrath: I guess I got knocked to my senses after everything that happened, along with Sloth dying, and that Izumi was the closest thing to a mother I had since she created me and gave birth to the human that I was supposed to b-Hey, look, a mouse!**

**Envy: Because he's a homunculus! He shouldn't be off getting all friendly with humans; I made him like he's supposed to be! Besides, it was Dante who ordered me to. I obviously hate it!!!!**

_It's good to see you're back. I was wondering about you. But anyway, time for the questions and junk, hmm?__SAZ'S STUFF__Roy/Riza: ...Eh? Let him go? But__tears up) But I love him! So much! So much that I...WON'T LET HIM LEAVE! (__tackles__ him to the floor)__Kimbley__: Uh...no? How about one of the Homunculi? They come back so you can do it over and over...__Envy: Oh. Maybe you should publicly retract that statement then! Or, just, like, you know, kill all the people who ask, like you always do!__Everyone I gave a gift to: Hope you like them!!__No one wants my balloons? (__sniffs__) But...I spent so much time blowing them up! (__shoves__ them at Envy and cries into Roy's chest)__ZILO'S PARAPHERNALIA__To__ Envy: Hmm. You raise a good point. You should consider joining a debate team.__...Not.__To Gluttony: Uh...I see. You might want to take advantage of that buffet ticket __Saz__ gave you.__To Lust: That makes sense. And you could swap hair products.__To Greed: No.__To Envy: Again, another good point. Maybe you really should be on a debate team. If you lost you could kill your __opponents,__ or something like that.__To Al: Then I suggest looking both ways before crossing the street, or making a budget.__To Scar: All right, if you had to be locked in a room with a State Alchemist for a month, and for some reason your arm was malfunctioning or something so you couldn't make mush out of their brains, who would it be?__To Ed: My friend __cosplayed__ as you at an anime convention and she said to tell you that you wear too many layers and the weight of your clothes must be what makes you so short. Personally, I think you would look awesome in all black, but moving along...__To...someone informed: My friend (the __cosplaying__ one) has gotten into this habit of thinking she's always right. It is incredibly annoying, especially when she's arguing with me, which automatically makes me always wrong. How do I tell her how annoying this is without being completely tactless?__Zilo's__ Blue Pen (and __Saz_

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Thanks : )**

**Roy: AHH!**

**Riza: That was a bad idea…**

**Roy: You're beginning to get me angry, you know…**

**Kimbley****: Hmm, good idea **(smirks)

**Envy: I think I'll go with the latter. And I don't want your freaking balloons!!!**

**Roy: …Could you get off of me please?**

**Gluttony: ****Heh****heh****…**

**Lust: Of course.**

**Greed: Well that sucks. I'm ****outta**** here.**

**Envy: ****Heh****heh****… That might be fun. **(grins)

**Al: ****Uh,**** thanks.**

**Scar: …I'd have to say Edward, because he seems to be the most sensible one of them. They all want to kill me, but I think that after a while Ed and I may be able to get along, while if I was stuck in there with someone else, such as ****Kimbley****, it would be sheer torture.**

**Ed: WHAT!?! No way. Military uniforms are heavier, I mean they're made out of pretty thick material, and they've also got to wear shirts under them, so they've got it worse than me. And what did you say? A GIRL ****cosplayed**** me!? That is so wrong!!**

**Winry: Well, you could tell her that she's belittling people by doing it and that no one really likes it. Maybe she'll realize that she hasn't been acting very kindly and should stop.**

**Al: Or you could just try to put up with it. When she insists that she's right, just be like, "Whatever" and walk away. If she tries to follow you and talk like she did nothing wrong, just say that you don't feel like talking to her and maybe she'****ll get the message.**

_Roy. I have your gloves and I will sell them to the __fangirls__ if you don't stop mocking ed__demi__sayain_

**Roy: ****Hahaha****!!! …I don't think so.**

_MUHAHAHAHA- oh...I mean...Hi! __um__...Roy/Ed, would you make out with each other? __omg__...I'd love to see that...__Envy, I have a new obsession over you now! -__tackles__- Aw!__Edward, ...um__...I need advice...um...there's this guy that goes to my school that I like..more like Love with all my heart and soul...but he dumped me cause his friends told him to...but I think he really likes me back...I also think he's just confused cause he hasn't hit puberty...but there's this other guy I like...and we're going out now...and he doesn't go to my school...and you know what? He went straight for me! Yes he was gay...anyway, I love him too but I think I love the other guy more...what if the first guy wants me back but I'm with the second? Help me __plzz_

_ - __EmoNekoNinja_

**Ed & Roy: Not on your life.**

**Envy: GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!!!**

**Ed: Why does everyone always ask ME for romance advice!?!?! **(sigh) **Okay, well, find out if the first guy really does like you. Of course, if he does and you end up getting back together, there's no guarantee that his friends won't convince him to dump you again, and then the second guy might not want you back. Stay with the second guy for a while longer until you think it's stopped working out, then see if you can try to get back together with the first one. That way, the second one won't get hurt (because it seems to me that he really likes you) and you can still have a chance with the first one.**

_I've got just one question, for Ed__Have you ever tried to drink chocolate milk, instead of just plain white milk? It tastes A LOT better.__lolymie__PS: Ed, you. __are__tall_

**Ed: Both are disgusting. ****Haha****…Yes, I know I am.**

HI people!I have stuff to ask/tell you people:To Ed:1.Hey Ed, did you know I'm taller yet younger than you?!!(Is that even possible?!)2.Do you like chocolate?3.My classmates and I are your BIGGEST fans(I keep a poster of you)!Can you give us your autograph?!! Pretty please?4.Did you know at least 1 third of my class knows who you are?!!(YOU'RE DEAD FAMOUS)5.Did you know we (friends and I) think that you are way HOTTER and CUTERR that Mustang?6.Can I give you a hug?7.DO NOT GIVE,I REPEAT, DO NOT GIVE AL A CAT cause I'm allergic to cats and I would not be able to hug you. (see question 6)8.Did you know that my teacher who is around 30 is shorter than me?(which means you are as tall as her (and she wears high heels and yet shorter than me))9.Have you ever tried soy milk? It taste a hell lot better than milk (I hate it too) and has calcium.10.To ME you're tall(even though your shorter than me)11.Can you punch Mustang in the face for me? (why? see no.1 to Roy)12.When's your birthday?(my friend asked this)13.I love it when you tie your hair in a ponytail.(IT'S HOTfaints)To Al:1.Please don't keep a cat. For my sake, don't.(but you can keep a hamster. I have 1.)2.Why are you taller than Ed?(one day I'll kill you for that. Beware I killed my classmate and I'm after you now)To Winry:1.I know you like Ed, I know you do.2.How the hell did you grow your hair that long?3.If you and Ed have kids, they would be SO CUTE!(like parents like children)4.In a way, you're cute.To Roy:1.I don't like you, I really don't.2.PROPOSE TO HAWKEYE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!3.If you do propose to her, can I come to your wedding and maybe invite my friends too?4.Can we borrow your gloves? We want to play with them.5.You are an complete (takes out a knife and starts to sharpen it)6.Can we ransack your office?7.How short are you?8.Can I sneeze in your face?9.If you love dogs so much, why don't you keep one?(your apartment is big enough, right?)10.I know of no one who likes you even a tiny bit.To Riza:1.If you love Mustang that much, why don't you make out this instant?2.Do you enjoy shooting people?3.Does Mustang go on dates with you?To Greed:1.My friend enjoys looking at your middle finger. I showed it to her and she just stared at it.(It's in book 6)2.You have never EVER looked hot.3.GO AND DIE!To Envy:1.You look gay to me.2.You look gay to my friends.3.We concluded you're gay.4.With that hair style, you look like a black palm tree.5.I HATE you for killing Edward.6.I WISH YOU NEVER APPEARED IN FMA EVER!!7.GO AND DIE!8.YOU ARE A BIG FAT NOT CUTE NOR YOUNG BASTARD.To Lust:1.Your boobs are too BIG.To Armstrong:1.Can I take away your sparks and burn them up?2.Can I murder you?3.You suck.To Rose:1.Remember: you never loved Edward.To Gluttony:1.Why don't you go to the sun? It think it has a all you can buffet of sun spots.To Havoc:1.The poster of Ed in my room includes you. Smoking. Did you not see the sign outside?To Hughes:1.Yes..your daughter's cute but not cute as Edward (or Kira from Gundam SEED & Gundam SEED Destiny)To Scar:1.If I were you, I would consider committing suicide.To Izumi:1.Why don't you just go and adopt a child?Okie people! That was tiring (I took one big fat hour to type it all out) I want all answers to be answered or face my knife of doom.MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAwinkssee to laugh evily

Fangirl of Edward

**Ed: Could you make it any longer? 1. Go die. I AM NOT SHORT, I TELL YOU!!! 2. Not really. 3. Um…thanks, but I'm not really one for giving out autographs. 4. ****Haha****, awesome. 5. Obviously. 6. …No…because ****fangirls**** usually don't let go. 7. I wasn't planning on it anyway. 8. DO NOT INSULT……VERTICALLY CHALLANGED PEOPLE!! 9. ****Ok. I hate ALL milk, including strawberry, chocolate, vanilla and soy! 10. I AM tall!! 11. Once I quit the military and I'm free of him, sure ****xD**** 12. It's in the winter, on **_Transmission __Inturrupted_** 13. ****Um,**** thanks.**

**Al: But I love cats! They're so cute, and……Um…you're really violent, aren't you '**

**Winry: Um…um…well, you can think whatever you want to, but I still won't tell you : ) 2. I just never cut it short, only trimmed it from time to time **(A/N my hair is longer than hers…) **3. ****& 4.****Thanks :**

**Roy: 1. ****Your**** loss. 2. …Not right now, she'd shoot me! 3. Why would you want to if you hate me? I bet you'd just want to ruin it. 4. No. Are you crazy? 5. That's your opinion…… 6. ****No. 7.**** I'm not. ****8. No. 9.**** Well, I like them, but I just don't have the time to care for it. I'm too busy at work, and I often do things after work, so it wouldn't be able to get the attention that a dog needs. 10. Try looking for The Miniskirt Army. It's my ****fanclub**

**Riza: 1. I-I-I never said I did! 2. No, but I will if I have to. 3. Not at this moment in time.**

**Greed: ****1. …Okay****. 2. I do and you know it. 3. I already have, you happy?**

**Envy: WHY DON'T YOU GO DIE YOU BITCH!!!!!!!!! BETTER YET, I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!**

**Lust: I have this name for a reason, you know…**

**Armstrong: ****Nooooo**

**Rose: Right; we're just friends **

**Gluttony: ****Uhhhhh**** no.**

**Havoc: Get over it!!!**

**Hughes: Yes she is!! She's the cutest thing ever!!! I know**** you're just jealous of how adorable she is!! In fact-**

**Scar: Well you're not me.**

**Izumi: It's too late for that now. And anyway, there isn't an orphanage anywhere nearby and I honestly don't travel too much. However, I sometimes think of Ed and Al as my children (well…almost).**

_**Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh**__** that last question took too much out of me…I'm too tired to answer any more questions and I'm afraid that if I did they'd be too OOC. I'll try to update tomorrow night if I can, but I'm not sure. Also, I know that some of you watch **__**Ouran**__** High School Host Club, and that you can make AMVs, so I was wondering if someone could make an **__**Ouran**__** one to "The Best Damn Thing" by **__**Avril**____**Lavigne**____** I think there's a possibility to making a really good AMV to it for **__**Ouran**__**, but I don't know how…so please? Thanks, and see **__**ya**__** next time! (Also, I still have no e-mail address, so don't try to PM or e-mail me yet. Arigatou!)**_


	55. Chapter 55

_**So I hope everyone's been enjoying the Naruto marathon…Frankly, I have a lot of things to do- watch Naruto, finish a school book (I'm totally screwed, by the way), finish my painting of Rukia and Ichigo, and read two manga. But since I love you all, I've decided to post another chapter before the new episode of Naruto airs. Also, I can't get the whole avatar thing to work; someone **__**wanna**__** help me? That being said, I've got less than an hour, so let's start!**_

_Dear Ed and Roy__Hello. Now my first question is...Why can't you guys just try to get along? Because even though Ed won't admit it, Roy has become one of his best friends. It's __sorta__ like a Naruto and Sasuke ((though you guys probably don't know who they are)) relationship. __A sort of Rival/Friend thingy.__ I mean just look at everything you both been through with and without each other. Shouldn't that count for something? Example: __In the move when Roy is at the arctic base camp thingy ((sorry if my quote is a little off)__Heymans Breda: Maybe We should get Riza down here to cheer him up__Jean Havoc: Riza is not the one he is waiting for ((no offense Riza cause you own))__See this __sorta__kinda__ maybe proves that Roy and Ed both have a deep friendship/Hate thing going on. Though some __fangirls__ ((including myself)) like to take you guys relationship too far by pairing you guys together. I Just want you to know that I will support both of you guys no matter what you choose to do, cause you guys both rock ((though Ed s slightly more awesome.))__So to finish was just wondering if maybe Roy cold give Ed a little peck on the check or at least hug him? Ok now I know Ed is explode into one of his cute __spazzy__ rant things after reading this. So if you guys are too unwilling and or stubborn to __do the final request__ at least do the first for at least one chapter?__-__Essence.of.Hope__-__P.S.: Al: ever think of a dog cause in opinion they totally own cats and they would be easer to take care of.__Number one: they are loyal and could just walk beside you when traveling instead of you having to hold him __Number 2: they are smart and can kick a$$ when needed so they will have less of a chance of dying than the cat, and if Ed won't let you travel with it. You could leave it at __W__inry's__ so it can bond with Den. And Ed…I don't know, E__d seems like more of a dog person than a cat person so yea._

**Ed: Why the hell should we get along!?!? If you want that to happen, first you've got to get Colonel ****Asstard**** to stop tormenting me all the time!!**

**Roy: Hmm…no. It's just too much fun.**

**Ed: You see!? I mean, okay, we can get along at times, but…****ARGH,**** you've seen how he tortures me!!!**

**Roy: What we want to know is what ramen and a ninja have in common. **(A/N Naruto is a kind of ramen and Sasuke actually was a ninja)

**Ed: ****And**** no, we're not going to feed ****fangirl**** obsessions (you know who you are) by kissing or hugging.**

**Roy: Not that we'd want to.**

**Ed: Yeah. Well. Ok, fine, I guess he's an okay guy. **(mumble mumble)

**Roy: Why thank you.**

**Ed: …Shouldn't you be saying the same about me or something?**

**Roy: ****Heh****heh****…nope.**

**Ed: YOU EVIL-**

**Al: I see your point, and I do like dogs, I mean, they're nice and all, but I'm just more of a cat person, you know? I'm sorry, but I just like cats better and I just can't stop liking them so much and wanting one for my own.**

_Now that I've read all of them I can put up some questions. I may have HAD to wait...But I did. So anyway, here goes.__Envy: Change your wardrobe for the love of God! Seriously, I mean, I thought you were a girl at first. The miniskirt thing and the voice both made me think you were a girl! I bet everyone, even your fellow homunculi think you're a girl, but don't say anything knowing you'd go into a __frenzious__ rage.__Barry the Butcher: I have a cousin I ABSOLUTELY hate. hands you address __Though__ he's a guy...Could you still chop him up anyway?__Gluttony: hands you address as well __Could__ you eat the remains?__Armstrong: Is there ANYTHING that hasn't been passed down the Armstrong line?__Riza: You're awesome! If you and the Colonel don't get together...Would you go out with me...Just don't shoot me __o.o__Roy: plots a way to get you out of the way to have Riza for myself__Tim __Marcoh__: I don't think anyone's said anything to you yet. What you did for those people in that village was so great! Why__'d you have to die!?__Ed: LET A__L __HAVE__ A CAT DAMNIT! Or at least some sort of pet. I mean, he's been through so much over the years...The least he deserves is some happiness from a pet...__ whispers Shorty...__Al: If E__d says you can't have a cat, __then__ think about this. IF you have time to __do an advice column__ for random people like this...Than you should have time to take care of a cat.__Tucker: You deserve a most horrible and gruesome death and to burn in hell for what you did to Nina __and Alexander! throws out a __Pokeball__ and releases __Jolteon__Jolteon__! Use Thunder on him! __Jolteon__ shoots a large bolt of lightning at Tucker__Wrath: You deserve a sugar rush...Why? Just because! - gives him lots of chocolate__And__ now...for a true advice question.__For anyone who'd like to answer: Ok...I'm pretty much stuck between 2 girls. I like them both equally and they both like me back just as much. But I can't choose!! I'm afraid of either 1. __Hurting one by choosing the other.__or__ 2. Making the wrong choice and possibly blowing my chances with the other. I've already talked to them both about it, so that's something you don't have to worry about.__Thanks__Prince-Marth85__P.S. - __BakaKonekoRKL__, I'm glad you got your computer back up. Keep up the good work with this column!_

**Envy: WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINION!?!? EVERYONE WHO HAS A BRAIN KNOWS THAT I'M A MAN!!! SO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!**

**Barry the Chopper: …Well, if you give me a girl I can chop up, I'd be happy to.**

**Gluttony: ****Mmmmmm****…**

**Armstrong: Hmm…bad looks and genetic diseases? ONLY THE BEST IS PASSED DOWN!!**

**Riza: Thanks…Um, I'll consider it '**

**Roy: ****Haha****…good luck.**

**Marcoh****: Thank you…but really, ****I'm**** not that great of a person; look at what I did in ****Ishbal****. Maybe that's why no one's spoken to me yet…**

**Ed: NOT AFTER THAT "SHORTY" COMMENT!!!!!!**

**Al: Hey…yeah…**

**Ed: No way. We still have to travel around and fight homunculi, so what are we supposed to do if it died, ****hm**(A/N it would be like the kitty that Ichigo-kun's sister found in Bleach…she fed it, it started following her, and it got hit by a car. So I'm pretty sure that Ed would use that example if he knew what Bleach was…')

**Tucker: ****Ahhhhh****… **(Even when he screams he whispers…)

**Wrath: YAAAAAAAAAAAAYNOTHERSUGARRUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Ed: Don't make a choice; girls are too troublesome, anyway.**

**Winry: What!? What did you say!?**

**Ed: Well…well except for you, Winry!**

**Winry: ****Grr****…****Well you said that you talked to the girls already, right? Did you ask for their opinions? Try having another talk with them, let them know that you like them both, but you have to make a choice, but also let them know that, inevitably, you and the girl you choose first will have to break up, and when that happens, you'll go out with the other girl.**

**Riza: There's always the chance of hurting them, but love is a gamble, and no matter what you do, there's a chance of them getting hurt. But if you don't make a choice, you'll just be at the same place for a long time. If you try ****Winry's**** advice and they like you as much as you say they do, then they should understand.**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Thanks : )**

_More questions and comments from me.__Fletcher- Sorry, I __gots__ a real bad memory, I forgot what a toilet was once...__Ed- Can you play an instrument, I mean, you seem like you could play guitar or something, maybe the violin...__Al- If you had to pick one would you A)Call Ed short a hundred times in a day, or B) Rant to MovieWrath about the wonders of limes for a hour?_

_Moofy__-Fan_

**Fletcher: Um…Alright…**

**Ed: Sadly, no. I never tried to learn how to play, I was too busy learning Alchemy, and I don't exactly have the time now.**

**Al: Umm……Neither? ****But if I had to, the second.**

_YAY! You caught up with this, my friend! Anyway... of course I'm back... and... I had... COFFEE! MUWAHAHAHA!!__Ed: Go ahead __wittle__ puppy! I'll just come back!! -__giggles__-__Barry: -his head slips a bit, now I can't see- GAH! -__runs__ around- I'm blind! -__runs__ into Barry, falls over, and his head falls off of mine- __Ow__... I hate your head__it's__ too big!!__Envy: You know... that's a good question... what am I? __Hmm...__ I wonder... -sits down and starts thinking of what I am-__Wrath: What was that? -tries to see what he's saying, doesn't even attempt to remove the tape-__Scar: ... What was I supposed to learn? -__tilts__ my head to the side-_

_Shoushin_

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Yup : ) ****And**** I'll e-mail you once I get my account going…**

**Ed: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU TO DEATH AND-ARGH!! **(Winry knocked him out with her wrench)

**Winry: You're so violent!!**

**Barry the Chopper: Then you shouldn't have taken it!!!! **(takes head back)

**Envy: ……**

**Wrath: MRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMPPPHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! MMMRMRRHHHHHH MMMMHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!**

**Scar: …Never mind…**

_Okay I've got a question or two...__First off Sorry about calling you Shorty Ed__Your like my favorite character and you'd like your part in my __fanfiction__...well at least I hope you would...__Alright what would you do if Winry ran off and you had no idea where she went?__To Winry__You're awesome by the way,__Where would you run away to if you were trying to escape from Ed?__To Al__If your brother told you to stay behind while he searched for Winry would you obey or would you wait for awhile and then go and search on your own? And what if I had a potion that could make Ed taller then maybe would he let you have a cat? I'm just wondering... Though I can see the argument from his side...I just like being on the side that irritates him__-P__Shadow Knight Of Oblivion_

**Ed: Yeah, well. I'd look for her, obviously!! I'd try to get the military to help me, too!!**

**Winry: Thanks : ) ****Well…****why would I? I really don't know…I guess I'd keep moving from town to town, cut my hair,**** things like that…**

**Al: I'd argue and argue until he let me come along!!! Hmm…I don't know…possibly…**

_**I finished typing this just as the 99**__**th**__** Naruto episode ended…Whew!! Well anyway, I hope you keep reviewing and such, and if anyone could help me with that avatar problem, I'd be really thankful!!!**_


	56. Chapter 56

_**Gomen for taking so long for this chapter…I'm on a twin-induced **__**Ouran**__** rampage **__**Uo.o**____**Which**__** reminds me; I'm **__**gonna**__** do an advice column for that once I've reached 100 chapters of this. And I also know how I'm **__**gonna**__** end this one : ) **__**You'll**__** all be very pleased…but anyway, to the present!**_

_Hey __yall__ I got some. Riza: you are so cool! I think they should have put you in the series more. I need your help, see I like this guy in my college class and I have known him since high school but I am scared of what he will say what should I do?__Sarah_

**Riza: Thanks : ) ****As**** for your question, like we always tell people, there's always a risk, but it's probably best to get your feelings out in the open. ****Before you tell him, you could have him promise that even if he doesn't like what you're about to say, the two of you will still be friends. And even if he does reject you, don't get discouraged; after all, it's usually easier to move on if he rejects you rather than if you never tell him. **(Note: This is true for the authoress xD)

Ed-just tell Al that he can have a cat when he gets his body back and you stop travelling! He'll probably stop asking...for a while.-if there was a way to get back to Amestris after the movie, would you and Al go back?-you do know that the gate thinks for itself and is something that can't be completely destroyed, don't you?-in the manga somewhere, you say you only drink strawberry and coffee flavored milk. Strawberry sounds okay, but coffee? ew.-maybe if you stop drinking coffee, you will grow taller than you did in the movie.Winry-I felt so sorry for you when Ed and Al left for Germany on that airship and you had to watch. -if you could, would you find a way to Germany and then get together with him after beating him with a wrench?Al-what type of cat would you want?Truth (manga)-why don't you tell these people (namely Roy, Ed, and Al) that the gate can't be permanently destroyed?-in a morbid way, you're cool.Dante-even though Rose was the closest and most available at the time, you should have still went after Winry and kidnapped her to get with Ed. Not that Winry would let you of course.Envy-I extremely dislike you for killing Ed, Hohenheim, and Hughes, but I also like you for your sarcasm. -call Ed short.

Harryswoman

**Ed: …You think I haven't tried that already? YES, OF COURSE I WOULD!!!! …Um…it does****…Ok, I admit it. Strawberry milk isn't all THAT bad…I guess ****it's**** okay…and I liked coffee, so coffee-flavored milk is okay, too. IT'S NOT COFFEE, ****IT'S**** COFFEE-FLAVORED MILK!!!!! SO THEREFORE, I DON'T NEED TO GROW ANYMORE!!!**

**Winry: Yeah…It was kind of tough. **(glares at Ed) U**m…probably…Well, I'd beat him with a wrench, how's that U-.-**

**Al: Hmm…I don't care : ) ****I don't think I'd want a purebred just because it's a purebred, but I wouldn't mind having any kind : )**

**Truth: **(smirks) **Because**** it's fun to mess with them. And thanks (like I needed your opinion).**

**Dante: Yes, but while I manipulated Rose, I also gained control of a whole city. The fact that she sort of liked Ed already was an added bonus which just made my job easier.**

**Envy: Well too bad for you! HEY, PIPSQUEAK!!**

**Ed: …**

**Envy: Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you!!**

**Ed: I'M NOT A PIPSQUEAK!!!! ALRIGHT!?!?!**

**Envy: Whatever you say…**

_I have returned!__Envy: Why don't you make __me.__ But anyway, I will agree with you on one point. I don't think you look like a palm tree. I don't know why people thing you do.__Barry: Well...I do know a girl around there that I'm not too fond of...So if I give you her address will you chop her and my cousin up?__Roy: continues to plot ways to get you out of the way Hmm...A little water...I just have to make sure he doesn't have matches on him...__Marcoh__: I know that. But just like you told Roy, you were in the military, you were ordered to. I'm in the military in my world...I know how it goes.__Ed: What's wrong...You don't like being called so small that you make a grain of sand look like a mountain?__Al: Oh well...I tried. I know how it is, though. I live on base and I'm not allowed to have pets...But I love cats...__Tucker: Well...That wasn't horrible and gruesome...but it's a start...Maybe a little pain beforehand would be good...Considering it doesn't compare to what happened to Nina and Alexander...And how __one can scream yet still whisper is beyond me. __o.O__Wrath: Want more? I have plenty. -Shows you my secret stash of sweets-__Winry/Riza: Thanks...I'll do that and let you know how it goes!__You haven't seen the last of me!__Prince-Marth85_

**Envy: At least you have **_**some **_**sense in there…**

**Barry the Chopper: **(eyes glint) **You've**** got yourself a deal!!**

**Roy: But I ALWAYS have a back-up plan! Please, you can't do away with me.**

**Marcoh****: I'm so sorry…Well good luck.**

**Ed: **(punches in the face) **What's**** wrong…don't like being punched in the face?**

**Al: E-Ed!!! That wasn't nice!!**

**Ed: Who cares!?**

**Al: I'm sorry…About my brother and about you not being allowed to have pets either ****Uo.o**

**Tucker: Well, it's like a person who can only whisper (such as me) screaming…**

**Wrath: YEAAAAAH!!!!**

**Winry & Riza: Best of luck!!**

_Hola__! FMA ROCKS!__Ed, you are not short, everyone else is just so FRIKIN tall! I am 5'1 and I'm 16! Besides, you're hot enough to make up for missed inches. Al needs a pet, so at least get him SOMETHING!! A rock would __work,__ it worked with my little brother... MILK SUCKS!! Just __sayin__Roy, what's the deal with you and Riza? JUST KISS ALREADY! And cut out __he__ miniskirt obsession, it's freaky. __Al, My best friend LOVES you and wants me to tell you that she has a cat that she considers yours. It's afraid of her pet hamster. I hope you like calico/tabby.__Winry, love __ya__, but please stop hitting Ed in the head, he is going to die early from bruises to the brain. How much would decent auto mail cost BTW?__And does anyone actually know how much Gluttony weighs? __-__EdElricRox_

**Ed: TELL ME ABOUT IT!!! Hmm****…**(hands Al a rock) **Here.**** It's your new pet.**

**Al: A rock!? Brother, I want a REAL pet!**

**Ed: Well then, you're ****outta**** luck for now.**

**Roy: Sorry, but I can't do that just yet. And hey, I'm a guy. Most normal guys wouldn't mind seeing a pretty lady or 10 in a miniskirt.**

**Ed: You're a rapist, aren't you?**

**Roy: Yeah, that's it.**

**Ed: And the truth comes out!**

**Al: ****Aww****yay****! That's so cute!**

**Winry: Well…it's his own fault! ****Hmm…How many dollars in a ****cen**** Um…I don't know if I'm doing the calculations right, but I think about three thousand dollars? Of course, I've seen some sell for more than that, and less…But I may not be doing the calculations right ****Uo.o**

**Lust: We tried to weigh him once…but the scale broke.**

_More questions and comments from me.__Fletcherfrom my sis Can you go and play the guitar on the streets for money, or I'll hit your brother on the head with my medal flute.__Wrath- Here hands you an umbrella It's about to rain.__Heiderich__- You look so cute with glasses hugs_

_Moofy__-fan_

**Fletcher: Well, I could…but I don't know how ****Uo.o**** Sorry!**

**Wrath: No it's not. **(feeds umbrella to Gluttony)

**Heiderich****: I'm assuming you're referring to ****fanart****…right?**

_Ed- why don't you tell us who you like already!__or__ else I'm going to have to admit to my __RoyxEd__EnvyxEd__ and any type of Ed paired with another guy obsessed friend that you like Roy...and now I think you have feelings for Roy too...__Trisha- __are__ you proud of what ED DID TO YOU?!?!?!??!?!?!?! THE SINNER!__Ed-darn sorry that was my sister who hates you for the little cough incident...__Ed- oh and my cousins, sister, mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandma and grandpa call you a midget!__preciate__ your time...__marysuekiller__P.S have you every met a __marysue__? (a girl that is the most perfect being ever that is better than you smarter than you and is risking your life for you and has a tragedy past?)_

**Ed: Hmm…I'll let you know during the final chapter. So don't worry, and don't mention any thing to your friend because I'll tell you now, IT'S NOT ROY!!! TELL YOUR STUPID SISTER ****AND THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY TO SHUT UP, THOUGH!!! No, I haven't, but I know a lot of morons like to pair me up with them…**

_I'm back! __heh__Al: Okay...The Sims 2 is a videogame where you create things by yourself. For example, you can make a cat that looks like Ed, so Ed may like him__(who knows?)__Winry: __hehe__...Well, he is a boy, so you have a good reason to hit him. Do you want to be a famous __automail__ mechanic when you grow up? You'll be more famous then Ed…which might upset the poor guy.__Havoc__Nope, no idea. __Maybe a friend of mine, yes.__ But I know they have a lot of __fanclubs__ about you. So my advice is__ you got to stop smoking.__Wrath: Here!!-__gives__ sour candy- Just don't blame me and blame Envy for it.__Ed: Ah yes, the power of being__ more__ famous than the Flame Alchemist himself. You're not the only one scared of Izumi__(who rocks hard by the way)...The way she threw knives__O.O__Hughes:-winces- Lucky you came out alive with minor injures! I saw a __cosplay__ of you and __Elysia__! It was so __kawaii_

_Uxinta-Youkai_

**Al: Hmm…Unfortunately, we don't have anything like that in our world…But thanks anyway!!**

**Winy: Of course : ) Well…I'd like to, but my main goal is just to make the best ****automail**** I can in order to help people out!!**

**Havoc: Alright, alright! I'll quit, ok?**

**Wrath: I can't make any promises : )**

**Ed: ****Heh****heh****…yeah. She's ****kinda**** scary…sometimes. But she's really caring and kind deep down, so don't let that fool you.**

**Hughes: ****Whaaaat****?! Someone ****cosplayed**** as my beautiful ****Elysia**** (and ****myself****)!????!? I must see pictures!!! It's a shame that I wasn't there to do the honors myself…**

_Hey! This is the sisters 3, and we LOVE all you FMA people!_

_From Leah-__Ed: You rock! You're most likely the sexiest thing to ever walk, you are NOT SHORT, and I have to share your hate with milk. Keep on kicking Envy and Scar's tails!__Winry: Awesome auto-mail! But, you might not want to keep on hitting Ed in the head with a __wrench,__ it might affect his height (I am NOT calling u short, I promise. __Wrath: What is your PROBLEM?!?!? Trying to kill yo__ur__ mother?!??! GO DIE!__Gluttony: How much do YOU weight?__Envy: Get new clothes. You look like a transvestite and it scares me. 00__Roy: You are the coolest __perv__ ever! But you __creep__ me out too, sorry.__Al: OMG you are so cute! Cats are the best house pets, and they make great friends. If Ed never lets __you get a cat, you can have one of my sisters'.__LOVE U GUYS!__From __Kisa__-__Roy, you're hot but need to go ahead and kiss Riza __cause__ you know you like her.__Hughes, your daughter is so cute! I want some pictures!__Envy, I am with my sister on the transvestite comment.__Izumi, __You__ are my __fave__ character. KICK TAIL!__From Megan-__You all need help. But so do my friends, __cause__ we are all psychotic whether we admit it or not. KEEP ROCKIN'!_

_The __DogPack_

**Ed: ****For**** those comments, I definitely will!!!**

**Winry: I'll stop hitting him with my wrench when he stops doing stupid things! ****But since I don't see him all that often, I don't usually get the chance to hit him anyway.**

**Wrath: I'M ALREADY DEAD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!**

**Gluttony: ****Uhh****…The scale broke when they tried to weigh me…so I ****dunno****MMMMMM, cake.**

**Envy: Uh, no. I like my clothes, so screw you.**

**Roy: Hmm. Well thanks…I think.**

**Al: Ok…if it's okay with your sisters : )**

**Roy: While that may or may not be true, I'm still fairly certain that she'd shoot me at this point if I tried that.**

**Hughes: Alright!!! I'm currently putting them on your bucket of photographs, so you can see them there! ****Yay**

**Envy: Screw you as well.**

**Izumi: Thank you.**

**Ed: We need help…and yet you're the one talking to imaginary people and probably ****fangirling**** over them. Ok. Sure.**

_To Wrath: Just so you know kiddo Ed is plotting to steal all of you sugar. You must kill him to prevent that from happening. Oh and who do you care for more Izumi or sloth. __To Dante: Okay I need some help. Some freak in a bat costume came by and stole those poison balloons I had for the parade, not only that bu__t this freak is just as bad as E__nvy is a__t__ fighting except he didn't kill my guys. If you can send some help I'd REALLY be obliged. Thank you.__To Izumi: Hey I was kidding about sending my thugs to kill you.__To Barry: Hey Barry I got this one device here that will make you temporarily invisible, and I'll give it to you for free if you promise to bring me back Edward __Elrics__ head as soon as you comment. Oh, and here's a chainsaw, __several__ butcher knives, an__d a__ very large battle axe in case __ya__ need it. Thanks._

_Tartarus789_

**Ed: No I'm not so just give the hell up on it!!!!!**

**Wrath: Hmmm…**

**Dante: Alright…I've sent a few guys your way. Just don't mess up again.**

**Izumi: You better have been.**

**Barry the Chopper: ****Hee****hee****hee****……**

_**Ehh**__**…Gomen, guys, but I can't stay up much longer…I really shouldn't have waited this long to make a column **__**lol**__**. I'll make one again soon, so do not fear!! But if you must know…**__**Ouran**__** videos are taking up most of my time **__**lol**__**. Don' worry, though, for those of you whose questions weren't answered, they will be…next **__**time :**__** D**_


	57. Chapter 57

_**Thanks for all of your continued support!! Wow…I really sound like a Shojo manga artist in one of their side column **__**thingis**____**lol**__**. Speaking of, my friend Lindsay is here as I begin typing this, and we're **__**cosplaying**__** as the twins from OHSHC!!! I'm Kaoru **__**haha**__**. We're taking **__**cosplay**__** pictures, so check out my **__**livejournal**__** for those! Also, I'm not going to answer stupid questions with made up words (these are usually from anonymous people trying to piss me off). I'll edit them, but if it's total drugs, I just don't have the patience to do that. **__**Like I think I got one that was like "What if the Philosopher's Stone turned into a butt?" and I was just like…no. I'm not even **__**gonna**__** waste my damn time. **__**But you guys have, on a whole, been great. **__**Anyway…**_

_I'm back from Vancouver!__Ed: __Hmph__Im__ not talking to you anymore.__Kimbley__Kimbley__-san. Did you know that you have a slight resemblance to __Orochimaru-sama__ when you have your hair down? '__Cept__ he's cuter... __By a lot.__Scar: Oh, don't be such a baby! I__'m__ done with that anyways. Her bad mood has made us better friends. Also, can you get ANY hotter?__Roy: No! How dare you sully my good name by spreading your slanderous filth (Family Guy joke)! To h__e__ll with you! Though I do work on the dark side, doing evil bidding, __muahahahaha__Pride: Oh, that's even better, Fuhrer-__sama__! Great idea! May I watch? Or even help!?__Hughes: In 2 episodes you die... I am going to bawl! I mean, I cried when I watched an AMV about it! Darn you, you stupid heart! DARN YOU! Ok, well now that that__'__s done -__huggles__ you and gives you a kiss on the cheek (He's married, so no smooches on the mouth!)-.__Riza: Actually, I don't really care for __RoyxEd__ anymore. I'm more of an __EdxEnvy__ person. If I'm not reading that, I'm only reading this and Naruto fictions.__Ok, well I'm just going to tell you the best parts of my trip to Vancouver! __#1.__ My mom almost stepped on a huge dead rat t__hat was on the street. __#2.__ I saw__ a guy get arrested. __#3.__ My dad got offered to buy marijuana. __#4.__ We went to the PNE and I went on the Hells Gate (horribly scary!), Crazy beach party (so much fun!) and almost__ all the other ones. I also saw__ this guy who had to __have had the __BIGGEST afro I have ever seen! __#5.__ I went shopping at a bunch of really good stores. __#6.__ We started driving home at 3:45 in the afternoon, then we took a 'shortcut', which by the way took LONGER, and instead of getting home at around 7-8, we got home at 11:00 at night. __Which is about 8 hours on the road.__Well thanks for listening to me ramble! __Sincerely__The Bubble Wrap Alchemist_

**Ed: Fine! Then why didn't you just stay in Vancouver!?**

**Kimbley****Haha****……who?**

**Scar: ………**

**Roy: ****Riiiight****…okay…**

**Pride: …You may watch.**

**Hughes: ****Hee****hee****…I guess I'm a pretty popular character, huh? Too bad I was killed ****off :**

**Riza: Am I the only female who doesn't understand the whole ****yaoi**** obsession that girls have?**

**Al & Winry: That sounds like a fun vacation! We all hope you enjoyed it!!**

_Envy - my friend made a __pic__ of you kissing gluttony. How do you feel about that?__Winry - what would you do to Ed if he hid your wrench?_

_A._

**Envy: I feel that your friend should go die.**

**Winry: Hit him with my hammer.**

**Ed: **(cringes)

_Here's a question for Ed. __Wasn't__ it awkward having a little girl and an old lady replacing your __automail__ leg?_

**Ed: ****Yeah, I guess it was a little bit, but since I've known them my entire life, it's never been as awkward as it would have been had ****I asked some random people in Rush Valley to do it.**

_Alrighty__!! And here I go with my craziness!!__Winry: Thank you! But he could have hurt me anyway he wanted... it wouldn't have hurt... well much, but oh well! -smiles, and __it's__ creepy-__Barry: Well... SHUT UP! -knocks his head off again-__Envy: ... I GOT IT! I know what I am now! I'm... a homunculus, tiger, water, __lightning__ demon and... I think that's it... people say that all the stuff I am... will kill me one day... __cuz__ it's negative or something... probably why I cough up an ocean of blood now...__Wrath: -stares at him, blinking- ... what?__Scar: I would never mind my mind! -__laughs__ like someone completely insane-_

_Shoushin_

**Winry: ****Heh****…oh well!**

**Barry the Chopper: You little!!! I'm ****gonna**** chop you up!!!!!!!!! (****once**** I get my head back!!)**

**Envy: …Sorry I asked.**

**Wrath: ……MMMPH!**

**Scar: Right…Okay, then.**

_Ok here's a question for everyone__If__ the homunculi were running for president, which one do you think would win and why?__Envy why is the green-haired guy your preferred form? Did you randomly pick it or is there a reason?__Riza how many guns do you own?__Ed where do you buy your shoes? I'm 5'1 so I need all the elevation I can get.__Serious question now.__ I have been dating my boyfriend since I was 14, which means 4 years, and now he's talking about we should see other people but I'm really not comfortable with that. What do I say to him?__Thanks everyone and keep up the good work__lana-rinreed_

**Pride: Well, as I was already able to handle the job of Fuhrer, I probably would. Otherwise, Envy could probably shape-shift his way into the position, and Lust is very cunning as well.**

**Lust: Yes, but you forget that I'm a woman. And the chances of a woman becoming president are slim to none right now.**

**Pride: Oh, right you are. Well, then, it looks like I'll take the job!**

**Envy: Like I said, it's cute. Sometimes when I'm bored, I like to try to make up my own…designs, I guess you could call it, and I made that one and found it cute, so I stuck with it for a while.**

**Riza: Oh, not too many.**** I only have them because of my job, so don't get the wrong idea, but I have around ****seven or eight right now.**

**Ed: Um…I don't know. Seriously, we've been all over the country several times, and you expect me to remember where I bought my shoes?**

**Riza: If he's telling you now that he wants to see other people, then you'd better give him up. After all, if you force him to stay with you, neither of you will be very happy, and he may even cheat on you.**

**Winry: I know it's hard to let go, but I'm sure that you'll be able ****to find someone else.**

_I have a question/comments for the FMA peoples__Ed:__YOU ARE NOT SHORT!! You are a good height and taller than me! __Why is the world round and why is life so cruel? __Ed, you and Winry need__ to get together already!! You two__ are driving me crazy!__WRATH__Wrath...when I first find out you had Ed's arm and leg... I was __gonna__ kill you!! I hate you! DIE CRAZY BOY DIE__Roy__Roy, stop being mean to my favorite alchemist! He did nothing to you! And stop stealing Havoc's girls!! . YOU SUCK!__Oh and I always wanted to say something to Ed...__don't__ hate me for it I just need to get it out of my system! This was my first impression on you by the way... __Ed, stop being a self-centered selfish child who thinks the world hates him! You have friends and people who love you!! I don't have that...cries...ok so I'm sorry I probably hurt your feelings!hands over ultra big cookie(these are my opinions__ of Ed so please__ don__'__t hurt __me! I'm still an Ed __fangirl__Bye now!!(I'M NOT CRAZY!!O__k__, yes I am. I__t has be__en medically cleared...that or I__'m over-dosed on happy pills!)__krazykitty1127_

**Ed: Hmm…I don't know. That's just the way life is, so that you can learn along the way from your mistakes…or some nonsense like that. Um…right. Maybe some day…**

**Wrath: You know**** I could easily kill you, so I suggest you shut your trap.**

**Roy: Please, if you were in my position, you'd be teasing Ed too. And how many times do I have to say this? They chose me over him, so it's not my fault.**

**Ed: …I'll bet you do have people who love and care about you, so stop being so pessimistic! If you think like that, then you really will end up unhappy, but if you have hope, everything will work out.**

_Ed:__ Hey __PipSqueak__ I__ hate __yo__u__…__ok__, I__ don__'__t__yo__ur ok __and __my friend loves __yo__u__Greed__ I love __yo__u -hugs- Damn it why__ yo__u left the short blo__o__dy beat you Why __why__yo__u sho__uld come back and hunt him down__and get __vengeance__Envy: I lo__ve __yo__u__ too -hugs- And Everyone leave E__nvy alone... He__'s a male…nothing else he can show you I bet.__..but please don__'t, E__nvy__…Oh and Ed say one more thing about E__nvy being a girl__…and__ you get to meet my two little friends.__Roy:__ YOU PERV…but I lo__v__e__you also -hugs-__Barry the C__hopper:__ Hmm you__ can__'__t kill me even though __yo__u don__'__t __k__no__w me yet you__ still cant so __yo__ur__ name is Bob…__come after me __and __you shall burn. __Wrath: AW It__'s mini ENVY I mean Fluffy I__ mean Wrath__Y__ea__h__. -__hands__ bag of candy- __Shh__ stick a lollipop in Ed__'__s hair then pull it out__Al: -puts kitten in A__l- __Shh__ -then hands him stuffed animal cat-if he tries a__nything I will hurt your little…I__ mean big brother_

_Shikamaruluverbrit_

**Ed: WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND, WOMAN!!??!**

**Greed: Right…well when you tell me how to come back to life, gladly!**

**Envy: YEAH!!! WHAT SHE SAID!!!!!**

**Ed: Hey, I've hardly said anything about him, first of all. And secondly, I could beat you to a pulp, okay?**

**Barry the Chopper: You can't burn me!!! I'll chop you up first!!**

**Wrath: ****Hee****hee****hee****…**

**Ed: I could just transmute it out, you know.**

**Al: ****Aww**

**Ed: Take it out. ****Now.**** We've been through this!**

**Al: ****Aww****…**

_Hallo, FMA peoples!__I'm back! Did y'all guys miss me?__Now that that's out of the way, I'm not here to torture anyone this time. Except Envy, he still owes me a blanket. I'm actually here for advice this time. ((__shock__Okay, here's the deal. My sister's dog had puppies about eight months ago and all of the kids picked one to name and have be 'theirs' so to speak. Mine was __Kiba__, the runt of the litter and the only guy. Wells, two months later my mom runs over him.__She's hysterical so I have to wrap up the body and clean up the blood stain and brain tissue in the garage, miraculously not crying until I get to school and even then I locked myself in a bathroom stall while everyone else was at assembly.__I've since gotten over it a bit through an unfortunate series of events, but now my sister's dog is due for her second litter any day and, quite bluntly, I'm scared as hell that something bad is going to happen again, cause my over-active imagination is playing __Kiba's__ death in my head over and over again.__So, yeah, advice on how to handle this would be terrific, I don't mind who answers, just don't say I'm a drama queen.__Neassa-chan_

**Envy: JUST GIVE IT UP!!!**

**Winry: ****Ohh****…that's so sad!**

**Ed: Well don't be afraid; this time, keep the dog inside until it's bigger and keep a better eye on him. I mean, as long as you're more careful, the same thing shouldn't happen again.**

**Winry: That's right! Just make sure you're more careful with your pets and don't let them run loose like that; keep him on a leash whenever you go outside so you'll always know where he (or she) is!**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: I'm a super huge animal lover…so I know how hard it must be for you. But if anyone else has a question pertaining to the death of an animal, please don't make it so…descriptive, uh-****kay****? It ****kinda**** makes me feel like Tama-****chan**** in the "Be Careful with Physical Examinations" episode when he "disintegrated"…yeah. But I hope you feel ****better :**

_OURAN! __ouranouranouranouran__!! YAY Ouran! Anyways, Roy, when you become Fuhrer, please do away with any and all Fraternization laws, pretty, pretty please, me __wanna__ go to the Bloch's wedding. Maria and Denny: when IS the wedding? Wrath: Please don't let Envy become your fashion mentor! Just dress in normal clothes and I will give you chocolate! (__eats__ chocolate bar) __Kimbley__: Where did you get your tattoos done? I __wanna__ blow up stuff too... __BakaKonekoRKL__: What would happen if all the minor characters were struck down by a rampaging bus? Just asking (shifty eyes and pushes large yellow automobile farther behind warehouse 12) I WILL BE BACK! __dumdumdum__! OURANOURANOURAN!_

_ADDVengance_

**Kyoya**** & Roy: Here's an interesting fact for you, since we're getting the vibe that you like OHSHC and FMA. ****Kyoya**** (when he wakes up with hair covering his face) bears a striking resemblance to Roy (especially with his ****eyepatch**

**Roy: Sure. And, as I'm sure you know, ALL FEMALES WILL BE REQUIRED TO ****WE****-**

**Riza: Yes, yes, we know, sir. ****Now don't you have paperwork to do?**

**Roy: **(puppy dog face) **But…I don't want to!**

**Maria & Denny: **(blushing) **Um…****Uh…well…you see…**

**Wrath: What if I **_**want **_**to dress like this, ****hm**

**Kimbley****: Hmm…I had it done a while ago, so I can't really remember…****but you could probably have it done at any tattoo parlor.**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Um…they'd die?**

_(I don't know if you got my questions so...I'm reposting them along with new ones! Your __fic__ rocks! __btw__ Okay, here goes!)__Ed__You're my favorite character(for the series) and YOU ROCK! Also, you should get together with Winry. You two make such a cute couple! __Whee__! In my story, you and Al meet __your__ and __Winry's__ son when he goes to the past to get to know you (you left when he was a baby) __BakaKonekoRKL__: can you read my only FMA story? It's called "Future to Past Time"__Envy__I don't like you because you killed Ed (hisses). Since Ed is your step-brother...and (lets just say) Ed and Winry have kids, how would you feel about being a step uncle?__Hohenheim- same question as Envy, but as a grandfather.__ If Ed and Winry had kids, would you love to meet them? Probably you would, right?__Okay this is a random question...__for anyone in the FMA cast...__who do you think would win in a battle against each other? __Alchemists or __Shinigami__ (Soul Reapers, or, by their better American name, Death Gods; from Bleach)??__Rose- you're so pretty!__Al- You're awesome!__Ed and Winry- I know you love each other! __When__ are you two going to admit your feelings?__Roy and Riza- same as the question about Ed and Winry__to the FMA cast__KONYANYANCHIWA! XDXD__Al, my friend LOVES CATS! __And__...here's__ a kitty __plushie__ and it can TALK! __Have__ fun!! 3__kitty __plushie__- "Konnichiwa! I like waffles! __nyan__nyan__This is for the two cutest couples of FMA: __EdxWinry__ and __RoyxRiza__Ed and Winry- if you two got married, where would you go for a honeymoon? (__don't__ back out!! I want an answer!!)__Roy and Riza- same thing as Ed and Winry__to Ed and maybe others: what if you were made to wear different costumes for a battle and then be record on a camera by the opposite sex (in the outfit)? __hehehehehehehehehehe__ (got this from CCS) XDXDXDXD__Hughes- Here__'__s a camcorder so you can film your daughter. (__gives__ you a camcorder and extra tape) Enjoy! You're such a funny character when showing __pics__ of your __Kawaii__ daughter. __Roy- __In__ my story, you're Fuhrer in the "future". __Aren't__ you "spe__cial"? __lol__ and you have a son with__ Riza. XD__I think that's all.__Ja__ ne!__Ookami__Bakura_

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Um, if you e-mailed it to me, that's still not working for me (stupid tellurian peoples...). Arigatou! I like your references to CCS and Bleach (probably because I'm being deprived of Bleach tonight…stupid American ****futurama**** cartoons need to burn in hell…), and I'll read your ****fic**** once it's finished. So just let me know when it is (is it now? I don't know ****Uo.o**** and anyway, I'm on an Ouran rampage at the moment ****lol**

**Ed: Thanks…Um…we'll see about that. BUT I'D NEVER LEAVE MY CHILD LIKE THAT BASTARD FATHER OF MINE!!! I'M NOTHING LIKE HIM, GOT IT!?!**

**Envy: I'd probably try to kill the kid or something.**

**Hohenheim: Yes, you're right about that. I never got to spend much time with my children, so I'd like to make up for that by being there for my grandchild.**

**Ed: ALCHEMISTS ALL THE WAY!!!**

**Winry: I ****dunno**** "Death Gods" sounds pretty intimidating…more so than Soul Reapers, anyway.**

**Al: Yeah, they sound like they could cut your soul in half…**

**Ed: Not if I transmute them into pumpkins!!!**

**Winry & Al: …Pumpkins?**

**Ed: You got a better idea?**

**Winry: No…**

**Al: …Not really…**

**Rose: Thanks!**

**Al: Thank you!!!**

**Ed & Winry: Uh…Uh…didn't you already ask this question already??**

**Roy & Riza: ……What they said.**

**Al: ****Awww****!!! How cute!!!**

**Ed: …Just don't bug me with it, okay?**

**Al: …'Kay : )**

**Ed: …I'd probably hit the person in the face or something.**

**Winry: That could be fun!**

**Envy: I'd kill them, no questions asked.**

**Al: As long as they weren't embarrassing clothes, I might…**

**Hughes: ****WooHoo****!!! Even better than taking pictures!!!**

**Ed & Roy: …What have you done?**

**Roy: Now that's my kind of story!!!**

_H__ello!__Ed- WHY ISNT IT ROY?__Yo__u look so cute together! C__an__'__t __yo__u just stop tr__y__ing to kill e__ach other and figu__r__e__ out that __yo__u do like him? FOR THE SAKE OF FANGIRLS OF __EDxROY__...tell him __yo__u love__ him! W__e all know __yo__u do.__Alphonse- can __yo__u watch my cat Marshmallow for awhile? He's bored and needs a friend. __Roy- STOP CALLING EDO SHORT! H__e__'__s not short__, H__e__'__s as tall as__ my 30 year old brother so HA! M__y __brother is shorter actu__all__y...__and con__fess__yo__ur love to Edo-Kun! __Yo__u know __you love him! __P__wease__ -__fangirl__chibi__ eyes attack- __Rawr__Envy__ENVY!-__glomps__- Aw!__Wrath: ...__WRATH! -__glomps__- HI! __Edo-Kun: O__k__…__if __yo__u didn__'__t tell Roy-San __you lo__v__e him then ok...I__'ll stop pestering __yo__u about it.__.but if __yo__u did then YAY! Get married soon!_

_EmoNekoNinja_

**Ed: BECAUSE I'M NOT GAY!!!! ****Geeze****, what is it with ****fangirls**** and gay guys??? Is it just ****fangirls**** that are into ****it,**** or normal guys too?**

**Al: OKEY!!!**

**Ed: …I'm getting too soft…**

**Roy: Well then, when you put it like that…Your brother must be from the same midget race as ****FullMetal****, huh?**

**Ed: SEE?!?! WHY WOULD I EVER LOVE A BASTARD LIKE HIM!?!?!**

**Note: The authoress thought of a very ****Hikaru****/Kaoru-like scene that could happen between the two of them here…But decided not to. Please don't hurt her, as she hasn't finished watching OHSHC or Blood+ on YouTube and Adult Swim yet**

**Ed: …THIS IS WHAT I MEAN!!! WHAT IS IT WITH THE GIRLS AND THE GAY GUYS!!!! FYI, IF A GUY IS GAY, HE'S NOT GONNA LIKE YOU UNLESS YOU'RE A GUY!!!**

**Envy: Get off. ****Now.**

**Wrath: Uh. Hi?**

**Ed: Isn't it called "domestic partnership" since the government or whoever feels like being pre****judiced**** or whatever?**_**(A/N it took me SO LONG to spell prejudiced!!!!!!)**_

_YAY I'm not dead!__Envy: I'm sorry but I was dared to do this and I always carry out my dares...-ties Envy up- -rips off __skort__ (without looking )- -puts pants on him-__Everyone (including __BakaKonekoRKL__): OK, I went a bit crazy when I went shopping yesterday so I'm giving some of my candies and junk food away to you guys! Let's see...I have chips, cakes, doughnuts, blow pops, cookies, ice cream, sodas, marshmallows, chocolates, and yogurt. Who wants what!? XD__BakaKonekoRKL__: You haven't been on AIM in a while. I miss you! -cries- Also I wanted to tell you that today (Saturday) I'm going to a concert in Jersey and I was wondering if you were going too Q-Q. Also, I GOT A NOSE RING! If __ya__wanna__ see you __gotta__ get on AIM!!__Sweetkittens_

**Envy: YOU-! YOU-! I SWEAR I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!! I'M NOT KIDDING!!! NOT GIVE ME MY OTHER OUTFIT BACK!!!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Dibs on the doughnuts (there's a special on ****FoodNetwork****xD**

**All But Ed: **(divides up food amongst selves)

**Ed: Thanks, but I don't really care much for sweets.**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: …I'm almost constantly online. That goes to everyone who wants to IM me, ****kay****? Also…I just realized, I COULD have gone to that concert, but it ****woulda**** been with my dad, who sucks more than Dante, so I said no…ARGH ****lol**

_Nice, 600th review.__This is for Jean Havoc__Hey you're so cool! Don't let Roy stealing your women get to you! There's __gotta__ be one girl that's immune to him!__This is for Al__I love cats but I'm allergic... Ed will probably never let you get a cat... so it might be a good idea just to give up.__From The-Newly-Found-__Fullmetal__-Alchemist-Fan__xXJust__ Fly A __KiteXx_

**BakaKonekoRKL****: DAMN, 600?! That's awesome! Thanks, guys! I doubt it'll go this well when I switch over to Ouran ****lol**

**Havoc: YES!! Only problem is…I haven't found one like that that I actually like yet…**

**Al: EH!? But, isn't the point of manga to teach young people to not give up on their dreams!?**

**Ed: And that cheating is okay- as long as you don't get caught. **(Arigatou, Naruto Abridged Series!!!)

**Roy: And ****succumbing to ****fangirls****' needs.**

**Winry: And ****fanboys**

**Riza: Yes, but there are a great deal more ****fangirls**** than there are ****fanboys**

**Winry: True…**

**Al: ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!! …But this doesn't mean that I'm giving up on the ****cat ;**

_**Hey, I caught up again!!!! **__**Yay**__**, me!! NOW, I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU ALL that, even though the majority of you have been doing a fabulous job with this, IT REALLY HELPS ME OUT WHEN YOU SIGN YOUR NAME AT THE BOTTOMS OF YOUR LETTERS. Also, if you could try to keep the **__**chatspeak**__** to a minimum, that's one less thing I have to edit, and that means more time for answering questions, which means more time for AMVs, which means happier children. Uh…Anyway, Vic has a new song out, and it totally reminds me of Tamaki!! Not only the French-**__**ness**__** and the piano, but…well, go check out the YouTube video!! It's called "Je **__**Nai**__** Pas De Mots".**_


	58. Chapter 58

_**So, guys, you'll never guess what! I don't know if I mentioned this when I first found out, but I got my poem published in a book!! It's in "Celebrate! Young Poets Speak **__**Out**__** (New Jersey- Spring 2007)" on page 44, and it's called "Sacrifice". If you want to read it, please send an IM to **__**InuRoyTohru**__** on AIM!!**_

_**So anyway, before we move onto YOUR questions, I have one for all of you: HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET AN AVATAR ON YOUR PROFILE!?!? Please….I beg you…the first person who correctly tells me how to do it **__**and**__** get it to work will have a story written for them! IMs are welcome, as my e-mail STILL isn't working.**_

_Roy: why are you so mean to poor Edo-Kun? Stop...__pwease__Edo-Kun__ED! -tackle/__glomp__- I'M sorry I__ thought __you were gay! S__o __you like g__i__r__ls__ right? DON__'T LIKE WINRY! __E__w__...she__'s just...__ew__Al: THANX!! U__m__…my other cat __T__igger__ wants to come t__o__o...can __she__Winry: You're ok...just I__ don__'__t like __you__Wrath: hello __Wrathy__-Kun! __A__nother __fangirl__EmoNekoNinja_

**Roy: Because it's fun? ****Heh****, you don't really expect me to stop, ****do**** you?**

**Ed: One: Get off of me. Two: I'll like whoever I freaking want!!**

**Al: Sure thing!**

**Winry: No sweat; I'm used to it ****Uo.o**

**Wrath: …hello.**

_Ed: Ed, I'm here for __yo__u man. I used to be a midget too. But I'm __around 5' 6in now (I had a growth spurt) and ... I'__m in my preteen years. __Sorry. I__ hav__e__ a crush on __yo__u blushes like mad even though __yo__u__'__r__e__ shorter (__like a super midget!) than me. D__on__'__t __worry__ I'm not a crazy __fangirl__. A__lso__, let A__l hav__e a cat. Just train it to be like Black __H__ayate__ exce__pt let it be good at fighting. A__lso__, I__ kno__w__you want Winry. I__t__'s a woma__n__'__s intuition. __Take her on a date. She lo__v__e__s __yo__u__ too__, I__ bet. A__nd if __yo__u had to choose which world would __yo__u live in? What's it like to h__a__v__e__automail__Al: __Yo__u__'__r__e__ my 2nd __fav__e__ guy! __Yo__u__'__r__e __so__ cute as a kid! And A__l, a friend of mine wanted to kno__w__ if __yo__u ev__er had another crush besides W__inry.__Winry: __Yo__u __a__r__e the coolest girl on the show! I__ totally admire __your knowledge on machines (I dabble) and cute personality! B__ut pl__ea__s__e__ confess __your lo__v__e to Ed already! E__veryone already kno__w__s... and this is totally random but how long have __yo__u been working with __automail__Roy __a.k.a__ Colonel __McFathead__: M__ustang__yo__u__'__r__e low AND a lecher XP! T__hose __a__r__e 2 bad combinations! A__nd yet girls keep comin__g to __ya__. If I__ were them__, I'd be into H__avoc __'__stead of __yo__u since he__'__s not like that and more handsome.__Izumi: __You rock__ so much! __Yo__u should get more screen tim__e! And what were Ed and Al like when they were little?__Lo__v__e__yo__u all (__…maybe not M__ustang)__ espe__cially E__d-kun!__TakutoKira01_

**Ed: ****The only reason that doesn't make me feel better is the fact that you're STILL A**** KID, so OF COURSE you'd be short and then have a growth spurt!!!! You're younger AND taller than me; how the hell does that make me feel better!?!? ****Um anyway.**** No way in hell is Al getting a cat before he gets his body back! And uh about Winry…well…when you put it like that…But we've got to get our bodies back before we do anything!! I'd rather live in ****Amestris****, and ****automail**** is like…it's like prosthetic limbs, except they're heavier and you can do more with them. ****They're really not too different from real limbs except for the way they feel and the fact that they're made out of metal.**

**Al: ) Thanks! Well, **(blushes) **in the third novel, I met this girl named Ruby who I really liked…**

**Winry: Thank you so much! Um…well, when he stops being so stubborn, I guess……Hmm, that's hard to say. I mean, ever since I was really little I'd been reading books about ****automail****, but I only started to actually work on it around the time that Ed and Al went off to study with Izumi. ****I mean, I figured that if they were going to train in Alchemy, I should train in ****automail****, right?**

**Roy: Listen, I'm not a lecher, alright? Plenty of men like women in miniskirts. Just ask Ed! He ****always sees Winry in miniskirts and tube tops.**

**Ed: W-Well…That's **_**her **_**choice to wear that stuff! I don't try to make her, unlike you!**

**Roy: True, but you can't deny that you enjoy seeing her in those clothes.**

**Ed: **(blushes) **………**

**Roy: See?**

**Izumi: Thank you. Well…they liked to talk a lot. And they were **_**very **_**energetic, let me tell you that. But they also studied very hard and listened well, and trained every day. Overall, they were good, and they didn't fight too often, either.**

_Hey, I'm back!! And in a evil mood __heehee__Ed__:1__. No, I won't give it up... I'll torture you for the rest of your __shorty__-short life__-laughs evilly-__2. You couldn't beat me, pipsqueak, it's more likely that I would have YOU begging for mercy and then let Greed and Envy __kill__ you__Barry: __wanna__ bet, buddy? I'll take you on and win!__Envy :__ you're welcome P keep bugging __shorty__... he tries anything and I'll gladly help you kill him__Greed: __Hm__ I do know a way…just get some sacrifices or we can do it the hard way__Wrath: My friend says __yo__u__'__r__e__ cute__…__ I say __yo__u__'__r__e evil __Al: Hmm…__Don__'__t worry__ I'll find a way to get __yo__u a cat __byez__ for now_

_Shikamaruluverbrit_

**Ed: ****Grr****…You're really pissing me off, okay!? Anyway, I already killed Greed, and I could kill Envy, too. And if I could kill a homunculus, what does that say to you about my fighting abilities?**

**Barry the Chopper: Please. You'd just be one more victim for me to chop up!**

**Envy: Please, I don't need a human's help in killing another human.**

**Ed: Ha! You'd need all the help you can get! And I'd still beat you!**

**Envy: I beat you once and I'll beat you again, pipsqueak.**

**Ed: GRRR WHY YOU--!!!**

**Greed: ****Heh****, what's the hard way?**

**Wrath: …Think whatever the hell you want!**

**Al: Okay!**

_T__hanks for answering my questions!__BakaKonekoRKL__: No...__it__'__s__ not finished ; but I'm planning to finish the story when I get to it, tho__ugh__Ed and Winry & Roy and Riza: you didn't answer my question about if you two couples were married, where would you go for your honeymoon?!__FMA people- about the __outfits__ thing, Sakura from CCS wore some embarrassing but cute outfits that her best friend made for Sakura's adventures as a __cardcaptor__. Her bes__t friend also video tapes her be__c__ause she's so __kawaii__S__o that's why I asked when it came to my mind.__hehe__FMA cast- is there such thin__g as Halloween where you live? I__f there is, what would you dress up as? Is there such thing as Christmas?__I think that's all for now... __Ja_

_Signed__Ookami__Bakura_

**All: You're welcome!**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Well then, just ****lemme**** know when it's finished and I'll read it then. : )**

**Ed: IF I got married to someone, I wouldn't care, so it would be up to them.**

**Roy: Hmm…somewhere very romantic, such as ****Rispri**(Amestrian equivalent of Paris) **or somewhere ****like**** that.**

**Winry: Somewhere where the two of us could relax and have fun…Ooh, maybe a beach! Yeah, somewhere like ****Eiweha**(Amestrian equivalent of Hawaii) **…**

**Riza: Somewhere where we wouldn't be able to stand out…I mean, you know the Colonel****…Not that I'd want to get married to him or anything, but that is what you asked.**

**Winry: That sounds cute!**

**Ed: H****allow-what? Isn't that a character from that cleaning product you guys always talk about? **(He means Hollows from Bleach, for those of you who couldn't figure it out)

**Al: Sorry…but we don't have the same holidays as you guys.**

_More questions and comments from me.__ Al- I think the people's whose house I can see from my window are pirates, they have the US flag, the state flag, then, a pirate flag, and they have a pool, whom me and my friend think there's a dolphin in it, what should I do about the pirates?__Sloth- You're pretty cool, I just noticed that, you needed more talking time on the show.__Dante- If you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits, __putten__ on the __ritz__Wrath- I need your help, I got this thing, and it's strong, and it threatens to kill me, and it has to do with you, so could you please take this black cat from my memories and this speaker, don't worry, you'll know what to do when the time comes.__Moofy__-fan_

**Al: Um…That's not any real evidence that they're pirates…it's just speculation, really…So I wouldn't worry : )**

**Sloth: ****Th****-**

**Dante: Don't answer. I've already got Envy going over there to kill her.**

**Sloth: Oh. Fine, then.**

**Wrath: …What are you asking me to do?**

**Dante: Don't ****talk to her!**

**Wrath: Whoops, sorry, master ****Uo.o**

_BakaKonekoRKL__: Hey! Sinc__e you're getting into other anime now __there's__ two that I think are interesting! One is __Tsubasa__RESERVoir__CHRoNiCLE__ and the other one is Karin (__Chibi__ Vampire)... if you have time some__time you should watch or read those!__Barry: Go ahead!! -__picks__ up his head and tosses it to him- Better catch it!__Envy: -pokes him- Why are you sorry, __palm__ tree?__Wrath: -takes the tape off of his mouth- That better?_

_Shoushin_

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Only thing about ****Tsubasa**** is that it's long, so I may read it online once it's finished. I already read Karin (Have you seen my profile? ****Lol****), and I wanted my mom to buy the first volume of it (DVD) the other day, but she got the second volume of Moon Phase, since "We'd already started that one". But arigatou! Actually, I'm reading A Thousand Years of Snow online now, and it's pretty good, for any of you interested (it's by the author of OHSHC). I also ****wanna**** read the new one coming out from FMA's artist…**

**Barry the Chopper: WAH! **(catches it, and puts securely on his neck) **Alright, that's it, you're going down!!!**

**Envy: ****Because I really, really did not need to know all of that…**

**Wrath: **(bites Shoushin's arm, because he's mad and it was the first thing he could think of)

_Alrightyo__... I'm back...__Hm__... Let's see...__Havoc: Don't worry, you'll find one soon!__Envy: You really scare me... and why does everyone say you look like a palm tree? Is it the hair or something?__From, __xXJust__ Fly A__KiteXx_

**Havoc: …Really? You think? Well, then, keep your fingers crossed for me!!**

**Envy: Good. Yeah, it's my hair, even though a palm tree's leaves are much thicker and stuff…**

_I'm back from Summer School!__To Everyone (Author can answer too)__My baby brother just got born! X3 __Yay__To Ed: __I MISSED YOU!! -__glomps__-__To Wrath__I forgot about you, sorry. -__gives__ 12 Mars bars and other random chocolates- Mars bars are GOOD...__To Riza & Roy__Will you ever have a child with each other?__To Al__You want another kitty? -__gives__ dead kitty- Don't worry, I gutted it, cleaned it then stuffed it! __Wait,__ did you want one that was alive?__Anyways, I hope all of you missed me! -glares at Ed-__Bye! Gothic Angel_

**Winry: ****Aww****! So cute! That's great!**

**Ed: …You didn't have to go through what Al and I did, did you?**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: YAY! Congratulations! Just remember to help out with him and stuff whenever you can; that'll really help your mom out.**

**Ed: Thank you…now get off.**

**Wrath: You're right!! They're really good!!!**

**Roy: I'm all for it!**

**Riza: Well I, for one, am not. Not right now, anyway.**

**Al: Ah……Eh…………Ah……**

**Ed: …That's just mean.**

**BakaKonekoRKL**(covers her pet cats' eyes) **Don't**** look, children!!!**

_**Hee**__**…I've caught up yet again! Well, that's good; I've still got some stuff to paint, some videos to watch, some **__**fanfiction**__** to read, and some **__**SparkNotes**__** to find.**_

_**Oh, and for the whole "I FREAKING NEED AN AVATAR" thing, I'm on AIM (**__**InuRoyTohru**__**) usually in the evenings-late night-early mornings, from around 8 (maybe earlier) till…3 or 4. Sometimes during the day, too! So please…please…**_


	59. Chapter 59

_**Arigatou to **__**Neassa**__** who helped me with the icon problem!!! Do you see it? Go look!!! **__**xD**__** Gomen, it's not FMA though…unlike her **__**fanfic**__**, which is **__**gonna**__** be **__**RoyxRiza**__**…**__**Thanks to everyone else who tried to help in their reviews, but I seriously needed a walking through it…I'm not very computer savvy (turns out my main problem was getting the **__**pic**__** on my computer; I kept putting in the URL **__**Uo.o**__** silly me!). Well, at least I'm better with computers that my sister**__** who has trouble searching for things on this site…**_

_**Actually, my sister gave me an interesting idea to do which many other people do.**__** So here's my little test run…**_

_**Ed: You're really **__**gonna**__** do that? But isn't that what this "story's" like anyway?**_

_**BakaKonekoRKL**__**: Well…yeah…but it seemed like a good idea at 4 in the morning!**_

_**Al: …You should get more sleep.**_

_**Winry: Hey, I've pulled all nighters lots of times! And anyway, she slept until noon.**_

_**Ed: Shouldn't we be getting around to answering peoples' questions?**_

_**Shikamaru**__**: Yeah, this is such a drag.**_

_**Ed: W-W-Who are you!**____** What are you doing here!!!!**___

_**BakaKonekoRKL**__**: Well, you see, I wanted to have the twins/Tama-**__**chan**__**, or maybe even **__**Haruhi**__** or **__**Haji**__** or **__**Saya**__** or**__**-**_

_**Winry: Your point?**_

_**BakaKonekoRKL**__**: Oh…right…well, I really wanted one/both of the twins come in, but **__**Shikamaru's**__** line just fit so well there!!**_

_**Al: Um…you do realize what you've done?**_

_**BakaKonekoRKL**___

_**Ed: Now everyone's **__**gonna**__** be asking him questions, and this is **__**gonna**__** turn into a crossover!!!**_

_**Shikamaru**__**: As long as they don't ask me to crochet a blanket…**_

_**Envy: HEY!!**_

_I need advice this time. My friend has sort of a problem. I saw her wrists had like 10 cuts on them and I asked what happened and she said she cut them and that scared me. I don't know what to do because I've tried talking to her, but she won't get any help. Please tell me what I should do. I'm really worried about her. __krazykitty1127_

**Winry: If she herself isn't going to get any help, then maybe you should tell someone. She might get mad at you, but if it helps her in the end, then that's all that matters, right? However, you should probably find out if she's stopped or not; if she's stopped, then you probably don't need to tell anyone unless she starts doing it again. Your parents might be a good place to start, ****or even a guidance counselor. However, it would probably be best to tell her parents directly. You can also express your concern for her to stop.**

_Ed__Out of all the girls you've ever met who do you like the most?__Why don't you try pouring water on Roy next time he insults you?__You are not SHORT!__Roy__You're a big Pervert!__Stop flirting and get together with Riza!? It's driving me insane!__Stop being mean to Ed, next time you try going on one of his missions and see how you do!!__Winry__What's it like to be Ed's mechanic?__I got an idea next time Ed's mean to you, why don't you try putting prayer beads on him like Kagome from __Inuyasha__You and Ed are perfect for each other!!__Riza__What do you do in your spare time?__Al__You are a good person, but you should really try to defend Ed when he's in trouble with Roy.__Why Cats?__Envy__Go To HELL!!__You are such a Bastard!__How dare you kill Hughes and Ed!__You SUCK!__Izumi__You're a great teacher!__Did you know that Ed got killed by Envy, but then Al revived him?__Have you ever considered teaching School Children how to do Alchemy?__What was it like having Ed as a Student?_

_Sharingan1023_

**Ed: ****Hm****, which girl do I like the most? Well, it's most certainly not my BEST FRIEND, Winry. Or, were you referring to "like" in a romantic way, in which case I plead the fifth. Because he'll send me on terrible missions and scorch me the next time I see him. Please, I'm not **_**that **_**dumb. You're telling me!!**

**Roy: Why does everyone say that? I'm sure that there are plenty of guys worse than me out there, right?**

**Shikamaru****: Yeah, like ****Jiraiya**

**Ed: WOULD YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!?!?**

**Roy: …Um…anyway, I think I'm ****gonna**** wait a while with Riza, as I'm afraid that she'll shoot my head off if I try anything ****right ****now****. Hey, I have gone on missions like his before- and worse! You ever hear of ****Ishbal**

**Winry: Well…it pays well!**** Of course, I enjoy it because I'm Ed's friend and I love automail, but I'm not sure if too many other people ****would be able to put up with his attitude…**

**Ed: HEY!!!**

**Winry: Well, as for your other two comments, people always tell me that. You'll have to wait and see, I guess…**

**Ed: Um…what exactly do these prayer beads do?**

**Winry: Oh, nothing much.**

**Riza: I work a lot, so I don't have much spare time, but I usually like playing with and training Black ****Hayate****. I also take some time to practice my aim, ****but I guess that counts as work. Sometimes I go out shopping, but not too much.**

**Al: Um…you really want me to get caught up in one of their arguments? I don't think I'd be of much help; they'd probably ignore me. Um…****cuz**** I like cats! They're my favorite domestic animals, so I'd really like to have one for a pet!**

**Envy: YEAH, WELL, YOU TOO!!!**

**Izumi: Thank you…No, I didn't know, but I had an idea that something like that must have happened.**

**Al: Um…you're not mad…right?**

**Izumi: ……I have considered it, but I don't think I'd have the patience for it. Besides, I'm not really a teacher; I don't even know why I took those two as my apprentices in the first place. Not that I regret it. Ed was a nice kid, though he could get annoying and bratty at times. But he always studied hard and helped his brother**** all the time. And he was very determined, too.**

_Yah I finally got enough questions to ask.__Ed: You're awesome, and not short. I am 5 feet 2 inches, so I know how you feel. You need to stop ditching Winry and tell her what's going on. Who do you like better Rose or Winry? What is your favorite drink if you hate milk? Oh, and by the way Roy __pwns__ you.__Roy: You __pwn__ everyone. What's you favorite color?__Envy: I really have nothing to ask you. Just a quote from a friend the quote goes: "I'm __gonna__ claw your EFFIN EYES OUT. And when you sit there bleeding, unable to cry due to their inability to produce tears, I will laugh. I'll laugh until my dn heart stops. And then I'll laugh some more in h while Lucifer shows me it over and over. And I won't feel sorry. And whilst he does that, I'll be giving that fallen angel some cute little pet names. And then I'll haunt you for all eternity." __Barry the Chopper: if I give you a name and address, how long till the girl is dead?__Wrath: since everyone else is giving you sugar...why not gives a chocolate bar the size of his face Happy birthday?__Gluttony: you need to go on a diet...but who cares gives a chocolate bar__Yes, I had sugar and caffeine before writing this.__Your Crazy Vampire__YoruHime_

**Ed: ****Hahaha****…yes, I know X) Hey, I tell her what's going on!! …Sometimes…Honestly, I like Winry better, no offense to Rose, but I never really knew her for that long. Hmm…I like water, juice…sometimes I'll drink coffee. HEY, NO HE DOES NOT!!!**

**Roy: That is correct! I really like dark blue.**

**Envy: **(this has been censored, so as not to offend any of you)

**Barry the Chopper: Oh, I'd say a period of six to eight hours. ****Heh****heh****heh****…**

**Wrath: It's not my birthday…but ****yay**** chocolate!!!**

**Gluttony: **(devours bar in one bite) **More?**

_Hello... Ed, dear Ed, Greed let you kill him! Envy killed you; how hard can it be, I mean, you're short and slow and weak. Envy how __dare__ you, you little…ok never mind, you're still on my good side unlike the shortest guy in FMA. Greed I forgot the hard way I had it planed out then I blanked but __heh__ A little killing here and there never hurt anyone besides most of these lives are pathetic. Wrath you shall __never learn JUST RIP HIM TO PIECES blow him up just kill ED.-twitch-DEATH TO ED BURN HIM ALIVE STAB HIM A MILLION TIMES I DON'T CARE JUST KILL HIM.-takes a deep breath- Ok now for Roy Hey Roy, the fire boy can you melt Barry for me? __H__e__'__s annoying and a pest. Barry buddy Come on-pulls out flame thrower-I'll melt __yo__u down til__l__ there__'s no more of you then fake cry__. Winry I haven__'__t said Hi to you__ I__'__m sorry but your little boyfriend must die but you two did make a cute couple__ t__o__o bad__, so sad. Al, d__o __yo__u mi__nd if I send a Nuclear bomb to b__low your brother to pieces wait KIMERBERLY can help me right...Anyways I'll talk to you all later reme__m__ber Kill I mean Give Ed all the love you can-smirks-__Shikamaruluverbrit_

**Ed: Yeah, well…that's what you think!!! I'm a lot stronger than you think! I could definitely kick your ass!!!**

**Envy: Good.**

**Greed: Right…I'll get someone on that. ****Heh**

**Wrath: Kay!**

**Ed: …What do you have against me again?**

**Roy: Once I find out where he's hiding…**

**Barry the Chopper: Psycho!!!**

**Winry: Um…hi?**

**Al: ****Of course I'd mind!!! Don't hurt my brother, please!**

**Kimbley****: You mean ****Kimbley****, not Kim**_**ber**_**ly, right?**

_Ed, do you think you'll get any taller? Honest answer please.__Roy, do you think you could trick Ed into doing a booster seat commercial? 4'9" is the magic number and we all know Ed's a liar and isn't 4'11". __Hee__hee__, I said your height out loud, Ed. If all else fails we could dig an inch deep hole for him...__Envy, would you say you actually like that palm tree form. I once saw a book that described you as an androgynous youth. I had to stare at a picture of you for ten minutes and I still couldn't find any androgyny. The closest thing is that you look like a girl._

_I-Swear-I'm-Not-Crazy_

**Ed: Of course I'm ****gonna**** get taller!!!!!!**

**Roy: ****Heh****heh****heh****…that would be funny…Oh ****Eeed**

**Ed: Screw you. I'm not stupid. AND I AM NOT 4'9"!!! I'M TOTALLY TALLER THAN THAT!!!**

**Roy: ****Suuure**** you are…**

**Ed: I AM!!!**

**Envy: Yeah, I **_**do **_**like it, so shut your trap!**

_Yay! Thanks for answering my questions!!__Now for some stuff!__FMA cast- Halloween: dress up as either a pirate, fairy, princess, whatever, go to different houses and say "trick or treat!!" to get yummy candy; and decorate your house with decorations like hanging skeletons, carve pumpkins, and other things. __I__ think that's__ all for now...__you guys rock! You to__o__BakaKonekoRKL__! ;D_

_Ookami__Bakura_

**All: Any time: )**

**Ed: …You guys are weird.**

**Winry: It sounds like fun to me!!**

**Al: …So if you say trick or treat to get candy…that would be the treat, right? What does the trick mean, then?**

**Ed: I have no idea, but it can't be anything good.**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Arigatou: )**

_Dante - ...kills Dante, and traps her s__oul__ in some sort of tomb thingy...well, __yay__..Ed - Hey look! I got a Philosopher's S__t__one!! Shoves it in Ed's face. A__nd then a moment before Ed can try and grab it, I jump up, and kick him in the teeth. And __then I clench my fist over the Stone...and it shatters and di__sap__p__ears... Remind you of what you said after learning the secret ingr__edient of a S__tone, eh? Al - I got you kitty...be careful, this o__ne has a habit of scratching am__o__u__r __continuously__. It also has a habit of searching out and __scratching__ anything with blood on it. And it goes for the blood stained parts. Roy - Have f__un. Shoves a picture of Ed in__ only a mini-skirt in Roy's face. Only God knows how I got __it__. Riza - Here is a little thing I like to call...the ultimate gun. It fires the best bullets in the world...but the gun explodes after one shot. Havoc - Takes away Havoc's __cigarettes__. Here are some new ones. They are filled with gunpowder. Armstrong - __For__ the last __flippin__ time, YOU SUCK!! Envy - I got t__hree words for you. Get. A. Haircut. Sloth - I got fire to douse. Maybe I'll just thr__o__w you on it, and see how things go? In fact...throws Sloth into a wildfire__okay...Greed - Greed, meet your worst nightmare. __Very high taxes.__ Gluttony - ...go eat your own head. __Saves everyone a lot of trouble.__ Lust - I really want to cut off your hands. Pride - Pride...you rock! Scar - Same goes to you, Scar. Gives Scar a __tazer__ Feel free to __tazer__ anyone exc__ept me. If you do __tazer__ me, a b__e__i__ng called Omega will a__rrive and destroy __A__mestris__. Izumi - ...do...not...flip me. Or Omega will arrive and de__stroy __A__mestris__. Hughes __–__ Shut__ up about __Ely__cia__. Whatever you want to say about her...we __already know. Other than that, you rock. Or is the whole __Ely__cia__ craze really just a cover? And WHY DO YOU KEEP TELLING MUSTANG TO GET A WIFE? Ed's dad - Kicks him in the crotch I just felt like doing that...no offense. Anyways, see __ya__Nitro_

**Dante: I'll just have one of the homunculi get me out of here…don't you worry…**

**Ed: You…you're a terrible person! Why would you do that!?**

**Al: Um…that's okay! Thanks anyway, though!**

**Roy: …TAKE IT AWAY!!!**

**Riza: Well, I'm obviously not going to use it.**

**Havoc: I can go without them for a few days. I'll just go out and buy some more.**

**Armstrong: ………**

**Envy: No way! Screw you!**

**Sloth: **(absorbs into the ground and comes back up a while away) **You**** can't kill me that easily.**

**Greed: So I'll move; big deal.**

**Gluttony: No way!**

**Lust: You'll be lucky if I decide not to kill you.**

**Pride: ****Hm****, I think I'm the only one who got a positive comment…**

**Scar: Me as well.**

**Izumi: Someone should report you…**

**Hughes: ****But…but…she's just the cu****test daughter ever!!! Well, a wife would keep Roy happy and calm…really, it would be good for him.**

**Hohenheim: ****Uhh****….****kk****….****uuuhhhh****…**

**Ed: ****Geeze****. Even I wouldn't go that far.**

_Hola's__Ed: __Wohh__! You are getting dark! Seriously man, you totally just hurt my feelings! I hope you__'__r__e__ happy__ Eh, I'll be nice for now, just out of pity because your brother totally freaked out on you in the last episode. Man, must have been harsh, your brother not believing that you__'__r__e__ his brother and all. You poor thing, you!__Kimbley__: Who__WHO?!?!?! Only one of the COOLEST ninja ever! Though he did corrupt poor __Kabuto__-san... Hey, can you blow something up for me? You see, my dad bought me and my sister this thing that you have to assemble. It's big and has lots of metal bars and stuff that you have to put all together and stuff... Stupid thing gave me A__LOT of grief, it did! Now it needs to learn a lesson, so I would like for you to blow it up.__Roy: Ah! It would seem that you have nothing to say. Victory shall soon be mine! __AFTER I eat some __hummus.__ M!__Pride: __Shweet__! Kick his butt good, Pride-__sama__Hughes: Tears up YOU BET YOU ARE! DON'T YOU EVER CHANGE YOU AW__E__SOME, AW__E__SOME MAN!__Riza: It would seem. Maybe the reason __is,__ that you aren't really a female at all!! Yes! That explains everything! I mean, come on! How could you NOT like __yaoi__Elysia__: Oh, you are just the cutest little thing in the world! I just want to say. CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS! You sweetie!__coughs __That__ is all. Good day to you!__Sincerely__The Bubble Wrap Alchemist (or..__Your worst nightmare!)__Just kidding!)_

**Ed: Yeah, well. I wonder why. Thanks, though. Yeah, it was…**

**Kimbley****: …****Yeaaah****. Okay. ****Hmm, maybe…If I get to blow a person up, too.**

**Roy: No…it won't.**

**Pride: Of course I will.**

**Hughes: THANKS!!! …But really, my daughter is so ****cute,**** I bet you ****wanna**** see some pictures of her, huh?**

**Riza: …Right, that's absolutely it. **(rolls eyes) **You know, there are plenty of girls who dislike ****yaoi**

**Elysia****Heehee****! Thank you!!**

_A__long with my questions__Havoc: Hi, again!__Envy: I don't think you look like a palm tree... __Winry: My friend __cosplayed__ as you for an anime convention.__Gluttony: How much do you eat in one day!?_

_xXJustFlyAKitexX_

**Havoc: Hey!**

**Envy: That's good. ****You don't seem like a fun person to kill.**

**Winry: Cool! I feel honored!**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Me too!! I've done the tube ****tob**** & pink pants, the white top & black skirt, and in October at ****MangaNEXT**** I'm going with my bf (who's ****gonna****cosplay**** Ed, though he has to borrow my Ed cloak) in the second outfit but with the black jacket ****xD**

**Gluttony: ****Uhh****…Depends. ****A lot . **

_Hey all. I'm alone this time. __Saz__ had a dentist appointment (root canal...too much candy) so it'll only be my stuff.__To Roy: (helps him up) I bet after the root canal __Saz__ will be so drugged she won't remember your name...I apologize for her.__To Envy: (takes balloons) Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's illegal, but most fun things are. Besides, debates are BORING. The audience would probably welcome the mayhem.__To Greed: You can't leave. That passel of __fangirls__ and Stephan won't let you. (__points__ to crowd of girls and a guy blocking Greed's escape)__To Scar: That makes sense. You guys had some civil moments at some point, didn't you? (__or__ am I making that up?)__To Ed: ...Your reasoning makes sense, but...do you have any idea how many girls __cosplay__ you every year?__To Homunculi: Which of your fellow Homunculi brethren is your least favorite?__To Winry/Al: Thank you! I sat down with her and had a long talk about how she's making me feel. She got mad at me because, of course, she thought I was wrong, but later she called and apologized, so now we're working it out.__That's all I have for now. My 19th birthday is tomorrow, so I'm plenty excited. Bye guys.__Zilo's__ Blue Pen_

**BakaKonekoRKL****: I had to get a cavity filled today…It was fun ****xD**

**Roy: Thanks…but by the time this chapter is up and you review, she won't be loopy anymore. But thanks anyway.**

**Envy: Yeah, I guess so.**

**Greed: Uh…****Ok, just let me out!**

**Scar: No…you're right.**

**Ed: Um…well…It can't be that many, right?**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Actually, I'm ****cosplaying**** you this Sunday at ****SunCoast**** to get free anime ****xD**

**Ed: …I thought you said your ****BOYfriend**** was ****cosplaying**** me!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL****Haha****…no. That's at the manga-con (but there were only female ****Eds**** there last year and at the anime-con). I'm ****cosplaying**** you in the mall.**

**Lust: Greed left us.**

**Gluttony: Greed! Greed!**

**Envy: Yeah, we could do without him.**

**Winry & Al: That's great!! We're so happy it worked out for you!**

**All: Happy birthday!!!!!**

_makes__ a dramatic entrance into the room, then__ trips and falls on her face)) __Urgh__...I'm back!!__jeez__ I__ don't reme__mber my name now...but anyway! L__ust if you __ever ran for president I'd totally vote for you. You're so cool! Mr. F__u__hrer P__ride, no offense, but since you're already running a country __you don't need another, right?__E__nv__y you're right, it IS cute! if I had been brave I__ would've __cosplayed__ as you at my la__st convention, but I chickened out and played E__dw__ard, which doesn't fit because I__'m like a giant__ and he's...well, look at him!__Riza I__ am glad to hear that because my ex (when he was an FMA fan) said you were __a gun nut and that me off.__(Ed) yes I__ do__, M__r. __smarty-alchemy-whiz-person! Y__ou remember all the crap that makes up, like human bodies, or that dandelion over there, or some ran__dom thing made of stuff so yes I do!__(Riza and W__inry) thanks for the advi__ce, but it doesn't matter now. We broke up. A__nd he did__ it!! H__e didn't even have__ the nerve to do it in person! H__e left me__ a stupid message on my cell!! I__ was so upset__, I__ cried like an__ hour, and this was yesterday. I__'m still pretty sad but my best__ friend bought me chocolate so I'm a little better__R__oy...you look a lot like my __ex-boyfriend...so I__ automatically don't l__ike you right now...move away.__Envy can I ask you a favor? Y__ou__ like beating up people right? Will you beat up my ex? I'm so mad at him...__A__l w__ill you come to my pity party?__ Y__ou seem like you could lift my__ spirits...__H__avoc __don't__ feel bad __about not having a girlfriend. I__ know how you feel. __Want to come to my pity party?__E__d sorry about the height an__d alchemy comments earlier but I__'m __kinda__ at all guys right now (except Envy because he's special). I__ don't th__ink you're short. __Much.__I guess I'm still pretty worked up so I__'m taking it out a l__ittle on you guys...sorry, but I do feel a little better now. N__o hard feelings?__lana-rinreed_

**Lust: Thanks.**

**Pride: No, I could always use another.**

**Envy: You should've ****cosplayed**** me, not that midget!**

**Ed: HEY!!!**

**Riza: No, it's just my weapon of choice.**

**Ed: Ok…calm down…**

**Winry: Oh!! I'm so sorry!**

**Riza: Guys (and girls), NEVER break up with someone like that.**

**Winry: Well, I hope you feel better : )**

**Roy: That's no reason t-**

**Riza: Be nice. Or else.**

**Roy: Y-Yes ma'am!**

**Envy: Eh, what the hell. Sure.**

**Al: Of course!!**

**Havoc: Sure. Hey, I don't have a girlfriend, and now you don't have a boyfriend…**

**Girls: STOP HITTING ON HER!!**

**Havoc: Well you can't blame me for trying…**

**Ed: That's alright, I understand. (See? I'm even restraining myself from hitting you for that short comment!)**

**Envy: So…that means you think I look like a woman, then?**

**Guys: Yeah, sure.**

_-__hops__ in like happiness is on her shoulders- HEY! Everyone! I'm back! __First of all, sorry to the Author.__Tis__ capitalized __cause__ you're important XP) I didn't mean to stop reading. But I caught __u__p...Anyways...with the questions. To Winry: Kay, I just started writing my first post-movie __fanfic__, and this lady ends up leaving her three-year old child in your care. I've rewritten the chapter like fifteen times, because I don't know how you'd handle it. __-.-__ So what would you do if this were to happen to you? Edward: Question, are you good at Biology? I know you have to be good at Chemistry, cause Alchemy is __sorta__' like chemistry, but I need a tutor for biology. Alphonse: Know what? I just want you to know that you have to be the most __freakin__' awesome little brother out there. I was wondering __something,__ you know that little pouch on your leg? What__'__s in there? Or is it just an __accessory__'__cause__ it matches your...uh...apron/loincloth Greed: This bothered me, you wanted Alphonse__'__s "immortality" But __technically__ you__'__r__e__ immortal too, what was with that?_

_Onna__-san_

**BakaKonekoRKL****Goshinpainaku****, really, it's fine, I mean, I had to stop writing for like a month ****cuz**** of my mom's inability to get our laptops going…But I'm just glad that you're still reading : ) Oh, and thanks for saying I'm important ****lol****xDD**** feels special **

**Winry: Well, I'd care for the child like it was my own, of course. I mean, I'd still work on automail and everything, but I'd take care of him/her, too.**

**Ed: I'm fine with biology, it's the tutoring part that I'm not so great with…**

**Al: ****Heehee****! Thanks! Um, I hardly even realized it was there. It's just an accessory, I guess.**

**Greed: Many people wonder about that. See, even though I'm pretty much immortal, like I can't be killed by guns and such, I could still be killed by…well, what Ed did to me. ****I thought that Alphonse ****was really immortal and couldn't die no matter how you looked at it****. Of course, I've been proven wrong, but I thought that at the time.**

_More questions and comments from me.__ Dante- Envy won__'__t kill me, cause he's only here cau__se he was invited, by me, with Russell and R__oy,__ were going on a road trip, to New Y__ork, and we__'__re havin__g W__rath sit on top of the car, so __ya__, He won__'__t kill me.__Russell- ROAD TRIP!__Wrath- you can talk to me, cause I'm inviting you to__ sit on top of a moving car, do__e__s__n't that sound like fun in the sun with a un and a gun and a- wait...no gun...__Al-__ well, what about the vampires/W__itches that live on the other side of my house?_

_Moofy__-fan_

**Envy: No problem, I'll just wait until you get back.**

**Russell: Oh joy.**

**Wrath: ****Hm****, yeah, I guess so…**

**Al: I said you shouldn't make accusations like that!**

_**Hm. Well. That's it! I'm happy, **__**cuz**__** I don't have to do some of the summer homework I was assigned, which means more time for Ouran!! Then I'm **__**gonna**__** watch **__**Chobits**__** and Eureka 7 and **__**Buso**____**RenKin**__** and Loveless and the Bleach Musical and Karin/**__**Chibi**__** Vampire and Moon Phase and Tokyo Mew **__**Mew**__**!! …I've got my work cut out for me, huh?**_


	60. Chapter 60

_**BakaKonekoRKL: Hm, it seems that more people than usual wrote into ME this time around.**_

_**Winry: …There were only**__**, like, three**___

_**BakaKonekoRKL: Hai, demo…Usually I just throw myself in there, but this time, people actually designated me to answer xD**_

_**Ed: …Isn't that defeating the point of this advice column?**_

_**BakaKonekoRKL: Don't make me leave you at the hands of the Hitachiins, throw you into a pissed off Orphan, **__**convince Saya that you're turning into a Chiropterean, **__**hide Kakashi's book in your suitcase and then leave you to the fangirls!!!**_

_**Al: You do realize that most of**__** them just want to ask you about**__** those manga you mentioned in the rant from your last column.**_

_**Ed: You wouldn't really do that…**_

_**BakaKonekoRKL: Yes, well…I have no life, so just talking to people like this amuses me and keeps me happy. As for Ed's question, yes I would, and then I'd take you and the twins back to my house where-**_

_Yo!__BakaKonekoRKL: I've watched Chobits and read the manga. It's funny! (even with the perverted stuff...) Can you tell me how BusoRenkin is? it has the same author of Rurouni Kenshin and I like RK...so...__FMA cast- Can you come over to my house and exterminate the roaches? I've found 3 in my bathroom, 2 in my room but not on the same day, and some crawling around in the kitchen...they __were mostly American roaches and they can fly. (shudder) I've had...well...bad experience with roaches so I kinna get scared when I see one...(ew) Okay...here's the "short" story__One time, I was laying on my bed at night and I felt something on my leg. I tossed it on the ground and when I turned the lights on, it was a roach!! T.T it was crawling up my leg! (cries) so gross!__Then I saw a roach on the wall and when I sprayed it...I wondered where it went until...I've found out the roach flew into my hair (cringe) T.T__So...can you please exterminate the roaches? Don't blow up the house or make any damage or else mom's gonna kill me. Also, you'll face the wrath of my dark half. It's also summer, which is their mating season and when they go crazy...__Hughes- How's the using the camcorder going:) __Al- (gives you a camcorder) (whisper) You can blackmail Ed to get you a cat...(wink)hehehe __Ed- You didn't hear anything (grins)__Wrath- Since you're cute, (whispers and give you a camcorder w/ instructions just in case) here, you can blackmail other homunculi...have fun!_

_Ookami Bakura_

**BakaKonekoRKL: I've read Chobits…I actually wanted to cosplay Chi, cuz my hair is around her length (no joke lol), but…well, my mom + buying costumes off the internet Um, no. Which is why I always cosplay people with simple costumes xP Anyway, Buso Renkin is really good; actually if you like FMA, you'll either love or hate it. ****Two reasons can be found in the first volume, and the third can be found in the latest: Alchemists, Homunculi, and the Philosopher's Stone. No joke. He actually said "I was hesitant about doing the Philosopher's Stone thing, because of another Alchemy manga." Hmm…I wonder what he was talking about…Oh, and-**

**Ed: No. Shut up. You're talking too much AGAIN.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: But I wanna tell her about the spider crickets that infiltrated my house and how my cats would leave their body parts everywhere, and about the headless chipmunks I sometimes find due to those cats!**

**Ed: You just did. Now stop ruining the column!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: …Kay…**

**Ed: Well anyway, we can't all come over, so how about you just call an exterminator?**** Or get a lot of spray and spray the whole house at once.**

**Winry: Aww, don't tell me Ed's afraid of some roaches!**

**Ed: I am not!!**

**Winry: That's what you say…**

**Hughes: Great! Except- what's this little red light!? Why does it keep blinking at me like that!? GAHHH!!!**

**Al: Oh, I'd never do that! But I'll probably use it for something…**

**Ed: YES I DID!!**

**Wrath: Heeheehee…Yay!! **

_BakaKonekoRKL: No I didn't look at your profile... whoops! Hey... is Moon Phase any good? Cuz I want to watch that... and I'll try to read the Thousand Years of Snow it sounds... interesting!__Barry: Bring it on Mister Lady cutter upper!__Envy: Well you're the one that asked!__Wrath: OW! -looks at him, shakes arm to try to get him off- Come on... -shakes arm harder- Let go Wrath... or... I'll put your mommy in a freezer and she'll be the first homunculus ice sculpter!! Also... I'd break peices of her off, make them into popsicles, and feed them to little kids that cry all the time!_

_Shoushin_

**BakaKonekoRKL: **(sigh) **No one does…Well, go look at it now!!!!!!! Lol. Moon Phase is really good and cute, but I stopped reading Thousand Years of Snow (otherwise known as A Millennium of Snow) because she hasn't finished it yet…but it is pretty good!**

**Barry the Chopper: I will!!! **(starts chasing after her)

**Envy: …Yes, but…never mind. ****Wrath: Y-you wouldn't do that!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!**

_Heh... Ed when you mean stronger you mean shorter, right? -falls over laughing- I'm sorry I just have to pick on you.. You're so easy to bug… Sorry about that Kimbley some one gave me bad spelling… Thanks ROY…although he be melted metal... Aww you don't know how much that hurts me inside Barry…Now I will definitely melt you down like I wasn't going to already. Mess with me you'll end up burnt pfft. Yep it's good Envy. Once again thanks for killing Ed before. Ohh now I remember, we destroy a whole city, you bring yourself back, Greed, and someone else__ if we wished__IZUMI lol my friends say me and you are a lot alike. I have short temper and tend to just yea... heh anyways... thanks Wrath. __Tah guys__Shikamaruluverbrit_

**Ed: **(fuming) **SHUT THE HELL UP YOU FUZZBAG!!!!!!!! **(A/N Copyright of Naruto Abridged Series lol)

**Kimbley****: 'Sokay.**

**Roy: No problem.**

**Barry the Chopper: …Let's just forget this ever happened, 'kay?**

**Envy: Of course.**

**Greed: Hmm…okay, I'll let you do that. Good luck!**

**Izumi: I don't have that short of a temper!!**

_More torture from me!!Dante - ...kills Dante, and seals her soul in an alternate dimension not connected to the Gate.__Ed-That is all you say about me playing the role of God? Anyways...Uses a super magnetic device to magnetize Ed's automail hand to the bottom of his automail leg for the rest of the chapter. Al-...uses magnetic thing on Al to magnetize his right arm to the bottom of his left foot, and his left arm to the bottom of his right foot. Roy - Now...a little torture for EVERYONE! A GIGANTIC SCREEN lights up in front of everyone. It is showing a gigantic picture of Roy...in a tight thong. Riza - shoots Riza Now you know how it feels. And don't bother shooting me back, I'm impervious. Don't ask. Havoc - Steals Havoc's money and replaces all of his cigarettes with ones filled with gunpowder...and then makes it so all the money Havoc earns is transferred to me. Don't ask how. Now...what do ya do? Armstrong - Here is a new message. You REALLY suck. Envy - Go and mingle with you own kind...points to a group of pal__m__ trees Sloth - ...Teleports her into the Sun... Greed - Meet you__r__ worst nightmare: REALLY HIGH TAXES ALL OVER THE WORLD! Gluttony: What are you standing there for? Eat your head! Lust: And...cuts off Lust's hands Wrath - I forgot about you before! Anyways...Everyone stares a__t__ me...because I am doing absolutely nothing to Wrath...XD Pride - I once read this fic where you asked Ed if __he could tell you what age your a__dopted son would be if he was on__e year older. Ed says a cer__t__a__in number...maybe 8...I forgot...and then you say 'Really? I thought it was 6.'. XD! Scar - Once again, you rock. Here. Makes sure Ed i__sn'__t watchi__ng and then gives Scar a Philosopher's Stone. Izumi__- For the reporting comment...__Shoots Izumi__ Hughes - It isn't just a cover for when you are ta__lking on the phone? Whenever yo__u talk with Roy, if he says the call isn't being t__apped, you __instantly go from Ely__cia Crazy to dead serious. Why? Ed's dad-...Kicks him in the face, and THEN kicks him in the crotch...you cam blame __boredom__. Bye, my victims... __Nitro_

**Dante: …**

**Ed: You don't control this fic. That's only in affect for your question.**

**Al: Uh…yeah. What he said.**

**Roy: I'm not getting upset, because it was obviously PhotoShopped.**

**Riza: Oww…**

**Roy: Are you alright!?**

**Riza: Yeah…he only got my shoulder. By the way, I only shoot because it's my duty. I only shoot people who are wanted by the military and who are dangerous and/or won't cooperate. Now I need to go to the doctor's.**

**Havoc: First of all, try to be reasonable, okay? Secondly…No, just work on being reasonable next time, alright?**

**Armstrong: ……I agree with Lieutenant Havoc.**

**Envy: Fcuk you.**

**Sloth: ****Sadly, I agree with those military guys. There's no way for you to be able to do that.**

**Greed: Who decided this? Fine, then, I guess I'll just have to take over the world…**

**Gluttony: No.**

**Lust: **(grows them back) **I'm a Homunculus. Honestly.**

**Wrath: Uh kay…**

**Pride: Right. If you say so.**

**Scar: …what would you do that for?**

**Izumi: **(dodges bullet) **Don't underestimate me.**

**Hughes: I still love my daughter, but we just start out talking about things like that so that if our line is being tapped, they won't realize we're talking about ****military stuff.**

**Hohenheim: Damn you…just stop it already, alright?**

_ELLO! IM EDSGIRL (SORRY WINRY) oops caps .__..anyways I__ just wante__d to ask a few questions...__Ed__: do you underst__and why people call you short? And did I__ forget to mention you__'__r__e__ so sexi? also, have you ever thought of just running away to solve the pro__blems (the human transmutation, A__l's body,__ Hughes, ect...)? __Roy: why h__asn__'__t __R__iza shot __yo__ur crotch out already? __A__nd you__'__r__e__ hot !__ and what do you think about E__d/__Roy fanfics?__Alfons__hey why did they kill you off? A__nd if __yo__u__'__r__e__ really dead__ what__'s it like to be a ghost? A__nd did you know you were pro__bab__ly going to be killed anyway (not __from the sickness) for sending Ed back?__Riza__: why haven__'t you shot Roy yet..? J__ust kidding__ don__'__t kill __'im__Alphonse__: what was your first thought w__hen you woke up in the armor?__Winry__: haha __I__ stole __E__dward! __H__e__'s mine! (and R__oy XD)__okay well that__'__s all for now...but __I really like this col__um__n__...a__ lot...well I've__ g__ot to __g__o to bed now with my E__do plushie!_

_ed'sgirl10310_

**Ed: No, frankly, I don't, seeing as I'm not short in any way whatsoever! Thanks…****I've thought about it, but not seriously; I mean, it would just be easier, right? But I would never be able to abandon everything like that.**

**Roy: Hmm, I suppose because she's secretly in love with me?**

**Riza: Actually, it's because I work under you and I'd be arrested.**

**Roy: Uh…ha…right…Well, I hate them, reason number one being WE'RE NOT GAY!**

**Alfons Heiderich: I have no clue…Well…it's very peaceful…you don't have to worry about anything…Yes, I did have an idea that something like that would have happened, but I knew that I'd die soon enough from my illness anyway.**

**Al: Um, I think it was something along the lines of, "Uhh…OH MY GOSH! WHY DO I FEEL SO- **_**OH MY GOSH, BROTHER!!! YOU'RE BLEEDING!!! BROTHER!!!!" **_**Hm…yeah, something like that.**

**Winry: Soooo, you're cheating on them with each other.**

**Ed: Uhm…Okay, I **_**really **_**didn't need to hear that…**

_H__i! Fi__rst off, THANK YOU!! Honestly, I__, the pathetic jobless soul, was waiting impatiently to hear from you guys, and you made me laugh, and then my dad pretended to clutch his chest and fall off his chair in shock because he was sure it would take me a week to start laughing at stuff a__gain, which is often true!! So I__'m recovering at a speedier pace, yay!__(Fuhrer man) Yeah, you're right, because you can never rule too many places with an iron fist, eh? I __was rem__embering the other day how sad I__ was when __I__ found __out you were a bad guy because I__ liked you so much! I guess that was the whole point of your con, but it worked on me...__(E__nvy) I would've, honestly, but I__ don'__t have the midriff for it. And I__ don't mean you're special because you look like a girl, __I__ mean you're special because it's really hard for me to dislike you.__.even when you stab my other favorite characte__rs to death and stuff...Yanno, I__'m making no sense. Oh well!__(Edward) -hugs- Really__ really sorry. You're one of my favorites. And it's very mature of you not to hit me for calling you a midget! Oh, wait, that was Envy. I just implied you were small. But you get it, yeah!__(Roy) -hugs- I don't automatically dislike you anymore. My ex is way uglier than you!__(Al) Thank you! -hugs-__(Havoc) Aw, you__'re sweet. Thanks, but...I think I__'m going to swear off boyfriends for a while.__(Winry) -hugs- You're so nice, thank you!__(Lust) I won't hug you, because I know you're probably not touchy-feely, but I'm in a hug__ging mood, so know in my heart I__ want to!!__(Izumi) Have you ever been dumped? And did it hurt __you as much as it hurt me?__Now I__'m going to go and eat seven pounds of chocolate to make myself feel even better. __Hm...hey Wrath, wanna join me?__O__kay bye guys!__Lana-Rinreed_

**All: Yay! We made her feel better!!!!**

**Pride: Exactly. You can still like me, even though I'm considered to be one of the "bad guys".**

**Envy: Well okay then. It's probably not as bad as you make it out to be. And no you're not.**

**Ed: Heh, thanks. Yeah, I'm a very mature person.**

**Envy: Midget.**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMALLER THAN YACHIRU!!!!???!!!???**

**Envy: Yeah. Reeeeaaaally mature.**

**Roy: Well that's good. And of course he is; no one's more handsome than me.**

**Al: No problem! **(hugs back)

**Havoc: That's what they always say!!**

**Winry: No problem : )**

**Lust: **(smiles) **I understand.**

**Izumi: I was never very interested in dating, so I'm sorry, but no, I haven't. Sig was my first, and is my only, love.**

**Wrath: YAAAY! Sure!!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: I devoured a chocolate bunny last night cuz I was pissed that I couldn't make toast…lol**

_Yo,__Winry: How many tools do you own?__Ed: I'm shorter than you. So don't get angry when people call you short.__Al: what color cats do you like?_

_xXJustFlyAKiteXx_

**Winry: Um…Sorry, but I honestly have too many to count Uo.o**

**Ed: Ok, I'll stop.**

**Al: You're lying.**

**Ed: Yes. Yes I am. I mean****…****NO**** I**** A****M NOT SHORT!!!**

**Al: Hmm, I like them all: )**

_Envy: Hm...I'll think about it...-puts clothes in backpack-__Ed: You're no fun . _

_Sweetkittens_

**Envy: YOU'LL THINK ABOUT IT!?**

**Ed: Whoever said I was?**

_Ed,__I did mean in a romantic way.__Those prayer beads I mentioned,__well,__let me give you a little scenario of what happens when Kagome does it.__Kagome:__You're such a jerk,__Inuyasha!__Inuyasha:__Well,__you're a wench!__Kagome:__Inuyasha...Sit,__Sit,__Sit,__Sit,__Sit,__Sit!__Inuyasha:(falls flat on his face every__time she says it)__Kagome:(Walks away)__Riza,__You should do that to Roy as well.__Al,__I hope you get a cat soon!__Roy,__I do know what happened in Ishbal,__what I meant was go on a mission that's just as hard as Ed's.__Envy,__UP YOUR'S!__Izumi,__What would you do if you loved two guys,__one died and came back to life,__the other is __considered the reincarnation of the first one.__Also,__the first guy has tried to drag you to hell with him.__The second guy did everything for you but couldn't decide to go back to his own time or stay with you.__The first guy sti__ll has feelings for you and __so does the second guy.__Who would you choose?__(The first guy's name is Ryu and the second guys name is Koga and they are both Alchemists who can transmute without a circle)Sorry the Question is so long.__Winry,gives the prayer beads to her.__Put those on Ed.__Wrath,__what do you think of the other homunculi sibling wise?__Ed,__You're shorter than me so don't feel so bad about your height.__You're really not that short people just like to get you mad._

_Sharingan1023_

**Ed: Well, in that case, I'm not saying. Um…right. I feel kinda bad for this InuYasaha guy…**

**Riza: When threatening him with my gun stops working (which I can't see happening), then perhaps I'll consider it.**

**Al: Me, too!!**

**Roy:**** My point is that Ishbal **_**was **_**harder than most of Ed's missions put together. Besides, I've gone on plenty difficult missions.**

**Envy: Ah, who needs you!?**

**Izumi: Well, if the first guy was trying to drag me into hell with him, I'd say the second guy.**

**Winry: That's right, Ed! So if you don't call me and tell me what's going on with you guys more often, I'll put these on you!! Hey, do they work over a long distance?**

**Ed: Hopefully not…**

**Wrath: Well, I don't want to mention any names, but I think some of them can be real idiots, while others I like a lot and enjoy working with.**

**Ed: HOW IS IT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER IF YOU SAY I'M SHORTER THAN YOU!!!!!!!!!**

_More questions and comments from me. Al- Fine, but what about the never ageing old man that lives across the street, my dad lived in the house when he was a kid and he said he looks exactly the same way as he did when my dad was 10, and that's about 87.__Rick and Leo- How did you survive when the military came into your house when your mom died? Really, how'd you get out of that one, one was asleep, and the other was mentally traumatized.__Wrath- My friends are evil, they were saying stuff about you, and ya, disturbing, and they were so blunt about it!__Everyone- What would you do if you met your other? Ps. Fletcher, my sister thinks your other is a paperboy from New York._

_Moofy-Fan_

**Al: Um…maybe he just looked older back then and stayed that way? I'm sure there's nothing…supernatural going on in your neighborhood.**

**Rick: So someone finally asked it. Well, actually, I woke up…**

**Leo: And I guess the military took pity on us because we were kids and just took us as prisoners of war. They usually did that around that time, so I guess we were lucky that they hadn't started murdering children yet.**

**Wrath: Well knock some sense into them!!!**

**All: Um…probably talk to them or something?**

**Fletcher: Who knows; he could be!**

_Hi! This is the first time my sister Sophia's gonna write to you guys so... BE. NICE. OR. ELSE.__My Stuff:__To Ed: N..No, NO! and No it isn't. To Wrath: If you were locked in a room filled with candy and fireworks, what would you do? Hypothetically speaking of course! Not! -pushes Wrath into room with candy and fireworks- Oh! And when you're done, here's the key! -throws key, then slams door- To RizaxRoy: You 2 are a nice couple! To Al: Uh... gomen. -bows- I didn't mean to scare you. I wanted you to keep it because Ed wouldn't let you keep one that was alive. Gomen -bows again-.__Sophia's stuff:__To Everyone: Hi you guys! To Havoc: YOU'RE AWESOME! But I can't date you because sis won't let me keep you, and.. I'm only 14! (Emily: No you're not, you're 10. I'M 14. Don't blame my sister. She's an idiot sometimes.) DON'T LISTEN TO MY SISTER! I can erase it but.. I can't lie..XP -huggle- Bye Havoc!__Gothic Fangirl (and Sophia)_

**Ed: Heh, alright.**

**Wrath: …Uhhh…I guess I'd eat the candy and set the fireworks off? Did I get it right?? Did I? Did I??**

**Riza: **(blushes) **We're not really a couple…**

**Roy: …yet.**

**Al: Uh, no, it's alright Uo.o**

**Havoc: Aww, how cute. : )**

**Ed: Gee, Havoc, I didn't know you were a pedophile!**

**Havoc: N-no!! I meant cute like…a kitten cute, or-**

**Al: A kitten!? Where!?**

**Ed: There's no kittens, Al.**

**Al: Aww…**

_I said I'd be back! __Envy: I read one of your answers to why you picked your usual form...You said it was because you thought it was "cute"...Are you sure you're a guy...Most guys don't consider others "cute". __Barry: Alright! -hands him address- Here ya go. -also gives you a freshly sharpened butcher knife- Have fun. __Gluttony: -gives you address as well- Go along with Barry...I don't want there to be bodies left behind... __Roy: Hmm...You can relax...For now. Just look at what I mention to Winry and Riza to see why. __Ed: -stumbles back a bit and scratches my face- You'll have to do better than that shorty...I'm in the military...I can take a hit ya know. __Al: Yeah well...It's ok...He's got quite a punch...But I've felt worse. I'll get a pet eventually...Once I can move off-base. __Wrath: -steps aside so you can get to the sweets- Dig in! __Winry/Riza: Well...I made my choice and things seem to be going fine. Thanks a lot! - __BakaKonekoRKL: I've been kinda curious about something. Ever since you got back, all the questions have been all clumped together...Why is that? __Know that I SHALL return! __Prince-Marth85_

**Envy: …So? What are you trying to say, huh?**

**Barry the Chopper: Heh heh heh…**

**Gluttony: Mmmmm…yumm!!!**

**Roy: Well then…congratulations.**

**Ed: I'M IN THE MILITARY, TOO!!! And I can do Alchemy as well as fist fighting!!!**

**Al: I apologize for my brother Uo.o Good luck with getting a pet!!**

**Wrath: **(dives in) **YAAY! YUM!**

**Winry & Riza: No problem. We hope it all works out!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: EH!? It has!?!? How come no one told me!?!? Oh, that's cuz, you know how everything is supposed to be double spaced? Well, it looks like it's double spaced on my laptop, so I never double spaced it…but I guess that should change, huh?**** It should be better in this column, ne?**

_I'm back and (dun-dun-dun) Saz is not. It's only me again. So...moving right along.__To Authoress: It sounds like torture. I have never had to deal with cavities, but once I got my teeth filed. It was really odd, but they look a lot nicer!__To Ed: (shakes head slowly) Like I said, you have no idea. But don't feel bad, it's because they love you. However, just to give you an idea...Saz went to a convention last year (as you) and she said she saw at least thirty other yous, and they were all girls.__To Winry/Al: So am I! She's a lot less obnoxious now. It turns out her family felt the same, but none of them were brave enough to confront her. Now that she knows, she's a lot better.__To Envy: Yesterday, I heard this song. "When You're Evil" by Voltaire, I believe. I think it describes you perfectly. You ought to give it a listen sometimes.__To Everyone: Thanks!! I got a car for my birthday, AND, a big shiny poster of Envy. It's on the back of my door now, and it's wonderful.__To Ed/Envy: Random question. Let's say the two of you were in the middle of a fight, and somehow or another got handcuffed to each other with some weirdo cuffs that are unbreakable and transfer pain. What would you do? Do you think you could try and work together to find the key?__To Tucker: Does having your face upside down feel weird? I thought someone said that you die after fifteen minutes of having your head upside down because of all the blood rushing to your brain or something...__To Pride: This may sound weird, but I have been attempting for the longest time to figure out exactly what your power is. And I have failed miserably and fallen into confusion. Please, tell me, what's your ability? What does it have to do with your eye?__To Lust: Maybe you can help me. I got to watch a heated debate the other day on what exactly you extend as a weapon--fingers or fingernails. Which is it?__Everyone: Um...Saz wanted me to give you guys a cake and tell you she loves you all, except Envy, because he didn't want her balloons. Bye._

_Zilo's Blue Pen_

**BakaKonekoRKL: The only thing bad about it is that they make your mouth numb, so I end up chewing on the inside of my cheek since I ****can't feel anything, but once it wears off, the insides of my cheeks hurt for days cuz they're all like gnawed apart lol. Oh, and to your question to Ed…I just put up pictures and videos on my LiveJournal of myself cosplaying him…lol go check it out xD**

**Ed: If they really loved me, they'd get GUYS to cosplay me.**

**Winry & Al: That's good that you confronted her, then.**

**Envy: Alright…if you say so.**

**Ed: A car!? Damn.**

**Envy: Heh, that's right. Like I'd ever work together with him!!**

**Ed: But I guess we'd have to…**

**Envy: Yeah…but I'd kill him afterwards!!**

**Ed: In your dreams!!!**

**Tucker: Well, because of the experiments I preformed on myself, not only does it feel natural, but I don't die.**

**Pride: The Ultimate Eye? Well, I can use it to see several seconds into the future, so if I'm fighting someone, I know what moves they're going to make before they do.**

**Lust: My fingernails.**** Fingernails are sharp (or they can be made to be so) while the fingers themselves aren't.**

**Envy: Grrrr….**

_BakaKoneko, Yay for new anime! -waves small flag- Of course I'll keep readin'! This is too much fun to give up! I think it's great you kept it going this long! -looks at her own letter fic and coughs- Winry, Oh, well that's kinda what I meant but I mean, what would you do when you opened the door and the lady left her three year old with you? (Also, she's a girl, and her names Mira. Aw...) Ed, That's ok, my friend Chica ish helping me now. Why do you like little kids so much? And don't say Nina, I remember you being uber nice to Marine on the train. Also, your scream gives me chills. Seriously, it freaks me out every time I hear it, don't know why. And even though I've seen it like 22 times, I still cry on episode 50-51. -sniff- To Everyone, Kk, I like teasing Ed just as much as anyone, but lets all be nice and leave our...our...-pauses as she tries to think of an adjective not involving "little"- talented alchemist, alone. -pauses- What am I saying? Edo's no fun when he's not being sweet or flipping out. He kinda freaks me out when he's all gloomy...-pokes Ed- Poor shrimpy. __With lots o' Love,__Onna-san_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Um…you do realize that I watch more than FMA? I was watching Bleach and Blood+ while I was typing this up (Yea, that's right, my eyes weren't glued to the screen just so I could answer your questions! See how much I love you? Lol)…look in my profile for a complete list lol. Hm, I'm really appreciative to those of you who continue to write in, and hope that EVERYONE will write in to get their letter published in the 100****th**** chapter…that one's gonna be great xD (and the last)**

**Winry: Well, I'd wonder why she was leaving her with me, and why she chose me…stuff like that, I guess. That what you're looking for?**

**Ed: Well…I don't know, I'm not so mean that I'm gonna be a jerk to a little eight-year-old…I mean, some kids can be annoying, ****but I'll like them if they're not. Uhh…sorry? HEY…SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!**

_**Arshkermurm…it's too late lmao. And this is like super long lol. So…go check out my LiveJournal at edokunslover to see pictures and videos of me cosplaying Ed at a park by my house!! Lol. I'll try to answer all the questions next time…Gomen…**_

_**Kaoru: If you have time to type this up…**_

_**Hikaru: …Then you should have time to type up that last question…**_

_**Hitachiins: So why keep them waiting???**_

_**Ed: HEY!! STOP BRINGING IN NON-FMA CHARACTERS!!!**_

_**BakaKonekoRKL: HEY!! …You're supposed to stay under my bed and in my closet! DX Oh, and POOR RIKU (for all of you Blood+ fans who saw tonight's eppie DX)**_


	61. Chapter 61

_**Oh my. My life is ending; school starts Wednesday!! That means I won't be able to stay up as late! That means less anime and less **__**fanfiction**__**!! However, many good things have happened recently; Lindsay and I got almost all of our **__**twinly**____**cosplay**__** bought, I **__**cosplayed**__** as Ed at **__**SunCoast**__** and won a **__**crapload**__** of stuff, and I figured out how to make my e-mail address work!! Yahoo is so confusing……However, I completely failed at reading my summer books…Anyone **__**wanna**__** tell me what happened in Britain from 3500 BC till 1603 AD??**_

_To Izumi: Here is how to get your child back (believe me it may be corny but it works). Just leave a small trail of oh say candy for him so that he will follow it and go in oh say a house or some thing like that, then when he is not looking ambush him quick and put a straightjacket on him, or do whatever you feel like after you ambush him. Well good day, I'm going to see if it will work on Wrath.__To Edward __Elric__'__s__ father:...Tell me why don't you explain the reason why you left Trisha __Elric__ to your son, I mean you had a good reason, so just explain to hi__m, and I'm sure he may just for__give you (__"__may__"__ is the keyword)...__To Edward __Elric__: Sorry just ha__d to do this (Kicks Ed__ in the crotch)...Okay I'm done.__To Envy: I know how you can gather a__lot of those stupid people who call you a miniskirt wearing person in one area for __slaughtering__ them. Just simple invite them to__ an FMA convention in oh say an aba__ndon__ed__ factory and kill them all, viva the press machine.__To Wrath: Hey Wrath__ look__: a line of conveniently__ placed sugary products__ that leads into that big house!__ GO GET!__To Barry: In the __a__xe I gave you is instructions that read take axe and kill Edward __Elric__ ASAP! do so and you'll get a bigger axe._

_Tarturus789_

**Izumi: First of all, he's a homunculus, not my child anymore. Secondly, I wouldn't do that to my own child!**

**Hohenheim: Like you said, the key word is maybe. ****Anyway, I had a fairly good relationship with him by the end of the series, in which I pretty much did tell him why I left, so I wouldn't want to risk the possibility of ruining it.**

**Ed: You…bastard…what…the hell…is wrong…with…you people!?!?**

**Envy: Or I could keep doing things my way.**

**Wrath: You're lying.**

**Barry the Chopper: Well, I've got a bunch of people that I'm supposed to disembody right now, but after that I'll try to get my hands on ****Elric****…**

_Izumi, let's just say if you knew me, you'd say I was a sister or clone or something. -__smirks__- Barry did I scare you I mean you being scared of a girl, please! …Although then again I am a tad insane and love to plot... and __heh__ -__destorys__ a whole town and revives Greed- oops... I killed BOB there eh Greed you are alive... Roy can you be less of a __perv__... I mean come on… wait never mind you don't hit on a lot of women like someone I know -looks at Greed- Fine, fine, I won't kill him -lights Ed on fire- Envy, __you're being __Melo__… here, kill Bob -pulls out Bob and shoves him at Envy- Ed build a bridge die in a ditch and get over it ok? Ok.__Shikamaruluverbrit_

**Izumi: If you say so…Personality wise, right?**

**Barry the Chopper: What!? I'm not afraid of some little girly-girl!! ****I'll chop you up for saying that!!!**

**Greed: Alright!!!**

**Roy: …**

**Greed: …What???**

**Ed: What. ****The.**** Hell.**

**Envy: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?**

**Ed: NO.**

_Yay! Thanks for answering me!!__Everyone- I do use the spray but they take too long to die (the roaches__BakaKonekoRKL__: Cool! I like FMA! XD I read the __Chobits__ manga too, like long time ago... o0 headless chipmunks!! __The__ poor thing!__Ed- Give. __Winry.__ A.TEDDY BEAR! If you make a handmade teddy bear for someone you have feelings for, and if that person names the bear after you, the love will last forever between you two. (__gives__ you a box with materials and instructions) (__from__ CCS)__gives__ extra boxes to Winry, Roy, and Riza) It'll be so cute!! I can imagine you giving Winry something. ;D__FMA Cast- the trick part for Halloween is: sabotaging neighbors__'__ houses, throwing eggs at their windows and throwing toilet paper over the trees in the ya__rd and houses. (I don't do this;__ it__'__s too mean. I rather to treat__Al- What do __you __think of cats fighting? My mom and I saw these two cats fighting each other on the street on our way home. __XD __kinna__ funny.__ They made the low "Meow" sounds. ;)__I think that's all for now!__signed__Ookami__Bakura__(( ;D __yay__! I finally remembered to sign my name!))_

**Barry the Chopper: Stab them with knives!!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: I hope you like FMA…it'd be ****kinda**** awkward if you didn't ****lol****. Oh, and thanks for signing your name!!! love**

**Ed: …Do you honestly think that I have the time to be making teddy bears for people!?**

**Winry: …Ed…**

**Ed: …Can't I just buy her one??**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: I'm watching the Ouran ****ep****where**** it's Halloween, and what you said about tricks/treats reminded me of what Tamaki said to that girl ****xD**** …Ok, I'm done ****Uo.o**

**Al: That sounds kind of mean…**

**Ed: ****And**** yet, kind of fun…**

**Al: Brother!!**

**Ed: …Like I'd do that stuff!**

**Roy: ****FullMetal's**** a juvenile delinquent…**

**Ed: Shut up, Colonel Bastard!!!**

**Al: Um…Well, I guess it can be kind of funny, as long as they don't get hurt.**

_Envy: Yeah! I'll. Think. __About.__It.__ I might wear these to __MangaNEXT__ if my mom approves! XD I hope they fit, I might have to stretch them out a bit! __Muwahahaha__BakaKonekoRKL__: My mom said she has to see if she's working that day and if she can take us to __MangaNEXT__!! Isn't that great!!_

_Sweetkittens_

**Envy****: What!!??!? YOU'D BETTER NOT, YOU LITTLE…I'LL KILL YOU!!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: You'd better come XD ****That**** goes for all of you!!!**

_Back once again! __Envy: Hmm...I __dunno__...Maybe that your gender is in question once again!? Just a thought! __:P__Barry and Gluttony: Oh...And...If you get caught for some reason...You don't know me... __Roy: Thanks. Oh and good luck with your Miniskirt army, I guess. Ever thought of recruiting Envy for it? __Ed: Yeah, yeah...But without your Alchemy...Do you really think you'd stand a chance against me...I mean...You rely on it almost a little too much. I'm not exactly weak, so come on, little man. Let's see what you can do without your Alchemy! __Al: No worries. And thanks. - __Wrath: Don't eat too fast now...You don't want to get a stomachache.__Homunculi: Which brings up a question...Do you homunculi get sick? You know...besides when you are in that array that causes you to throw up the red stones. __Winry/Riza: I'm sure it will. Thanks again! __BakaKonekoRKL__: Umm...If you meant that you actually tried to fix the spacing...It didn't work? __o.O__ I'm not sure what it is that's causing the questions to be all clumped together. I mean...The answers are fine, there was never a problem...but the questions are all clumped together still. Maybe you should experiment until it's not doing that anymore...Maybe post a chapter and look at the live preview and try things until it's right...Just throwing an idea out there. __I'm running out of questions to ask. XD But I'll still be back...Even if it's only to mess with Envy and Ed some more...but hey...I'm not as bad as the __yaoi__fangirls__ at least...Right?__Until then!__Prince-Marth85_

**Envy: Just…go away, will you?**

**Barry the Chopper: What do you mean!?**

**Gluttony: …Yum…**

**Roy: Thanks. I would…but I don't want ****crossdressers****, only women.**

**Envy: WHAT!? I'M NOT A CROSSDRESSER; IT'S NOT A MINISKIRT!!!!!**

**Ed: I couldn't use Alchemy when I went over to ****Germany,**** and I was still able to take on those guys who were after ****Noa**** and stuff! So bring it!**

**Al: No problem -**

**Wrath: '****Kaay**

**Lust: No…we're Homunculi, so we don't get affected by the same little things that you humans do.**

**Winry & Riza: No problem: )**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: …Ok, I give up. But as long as the answers are ok…I mean, you can always go to the reviews page to see what the reviews were if ****its**** unreadable, ne?**

**Guys: Don't ****worry,**** you're nowhere NEAR that bad!!**

_No, no, no...I'm not cheating...but they are pretty hot...but Ed's cuter...anyway...and Roy, I know you're not gay, I just wanted your opinion...jeez...and __Alfons__ it's good to know you're at peace...I guess...and my gosh you guys have attitude but I like ...__sorta__…Ed, you're not short but I just wanted to know why you didn't run...that's a lot of pressure for a teen...you're a good big brother __Thanx__ anyway._

_ed'sgirl10310_

**Ed: ****Heh****heh****…that's right! ****xD**

**Roy: Ok, good.**

**Alfons****: Thanks.**

**Ed: Thanks…yeah, it is. ****Heh****, thank you!**

_More questions and comments from me.__ Al- I'm sick, I don't like it, __make__ it stop.__Wrath- Hey __look__ over there! starts petting your hair__Ed-My dog sleep talks, what do you think of that?__Ed and Al- Were you two concer__n__ed about __Heiderich__ death, or were you just too happy about being together again?__Heiderich__- I can't wait for Ha__lloween, can you?__Envy- What would you do if you saw a small i__n__nocent child passed out, put it in the road, kick it, or just leave it alone?__Moofyfan_

**Al: Um…ok…I'm sorry!!! ****Uo.o**

**Wrath: Hey!! Stop it!!!**

**Ed: …I think you're nuts. Of course I was concerned about ****Heiderich's**** death!!**

**Al: I didn't know who he was at the time, really, but I was still concerned about him…**

**Heiderich****: Um, I guess not.**

**Envy: Kick it, and then take it from there.**

_Ed and Al, this is hypothetical, what would you do while you were growing up you had a brother (Not Al) who you looked up to (you're 7,he's 13), your father and mother were proud of him, but one night when you came home while you were outside playing with the other kids in __Risembool__, you find everyone dead, including Winry and it turned out to be your own brother who killed every single one of them, you asked why he did it and he says he did it to see if he could kill people. Also, he makes you relive their deaths over and over for 24 hours. What would you do?__Winry, the beads work over a long distance.__Roy, you do know that Ed has more fans than you, __don't__ you?__Izumi, a lot of my friends think that you act more like a mom than a teacher to Ed and Al. What do you think about that?__Hughes, you and Roy act a lot like Ed and Al. Your daughter's really cute.__Havoc,__ m__y sister thinks you__'__r__e__ hot and a lot better looking then Roy,__the only problem is that she's a lot younger than you.__Do you like to smoke?__Winry,__ p__eople have drawn pictures of you and Rose fighting and arguing over Ed.__What do you think about that?__Rose,__ s__ame question as __Winry's__Envy,__ y__ou act more like a girl than a boy.__Lust,__ w__hat do you do for fun?_

_Sharingan1023_

**Ed: Um…****I'd probably hate him and not look up to him anymore…and run away and never speak to him again?**

**Al: I'd probably be scared and wonder why he did it…**

**Winry: Hmm…**

**Ed: Oh no…**

**Roy: …Lies!!!**

**Izumi: I think I was like both to them…though I could never replace their mother.**

**Hughes & Roy: We do?**

**Hughes: I know!! Isn't she the most adorable little thing you've ever seen!? I know**** you want to see some pictures, don't you!?**

**Havoc: …Damn. I don't particularly like it, but it's a habit I've gotten myself into, unfortunately.**

**Winry: What? No way! Rose and I are good friends!**

**Rose: That's right! And anyway, Ed and I are just friends.**

**Envy: …Idiot.**

**Lust: Not much…I don't get much time for "fun" anyway…**

_Yay I love reading this and I love you all! You rock __woot__! For Roy: You. Wear. __The.__Miniskirt.__ See. __How.__It. Feels.__If you weren't so hot I probably wouldn't be your __fangirl__lol__Just__ kidding__Or was I?_

_Demonade_

**Roy: How about I don't. Have you joined the Miniskirt Army yet?**

_**Ok, I have time to answer more, but I just can't right now. You see, I just read the OHSHC chapter online where they're like "let's be different and not LOVE each other so **__**fangirls**__** commit suicide!! Yay!!!" …So I'm emotionally a wreck right now. **__**Wanna**__** know how bad it is? I'm crying. The last thing that made me cry was the end of the FMA movie. I can't even read **__**fanfiction**__** about them!! I think **__**it's**__** chapter 53…but yes, I was crying my eyes out. So the next post I make will be once I'm in school again…damn…that makes me **__**wanna**__** cry more!!**_


	62. Chapter 62

_**GRAR.**__** School is **__**gonna**__** be totally killer this year…So I may or may not be able to update as religiously as I've been doing…It seems that, in particular, English and French are **__**gonna**__** be difficult…good thing **__**fanfiction**__** keeps me cool with English and Tamaki has inspired me to check out French a bit again…**_

_**Oh, and for anyone who was e-mailing me, my e-mail works again!!!**__** Speaking of, the indentation on your questions sometimes gets a little funky with Yahoo…so sorry if things seem a little off.**_

_BakaKonekoRKL__: I will... later (I always say that, __then__ I forget!)_

_ Alright...__me__ will still look at both! __Me__ saw Blood+ episode I was all yelling at __Saya__ and __Riku__ the whole time. Especially __Riku__, like when he went "__Saya__!" I was like, "NO you fool!! __Saya__ don't have long hair anymore and you know it!!" My grandmother thought I was crazier then I usually am! -__laughs__-_

_Barry: -runs away then suddenly stops and trips him- HA!_

_Envy: -eyes narrow- But... What?_

_Wrath: D-don't cry! I was just kidding! Please stop crying or you'll make your mommy drown me!! -is freaking out and starts giving him random stuff to_

_stop__ his crying like; candy, soda, and random critters-_

_Shoushin_

**BakaKonekoRKL****Lmao****. Hey, you can e-mail me about this stuff now!!**

**Barry the Chopper: You-! You-! You evil girl!!**

**Envy: Oh…nothing…**

**Wrath: WAAAAAA- ****Ooooh****, a mouse! YAY!!**

_BakaKoneko__: You watch Bleach! __Yesh__! -__waves__ Bleach flag- Though I'm_

_partial__ to__Inuyasha__. -__stares__- Herm, FMA is my __favvie__ novel, Bleach my __favvie_

_Manga,__ and__Inuyasha__ my __favvie__ anime. That's weird. I have a __question,__ do you have__any__idea where I could get the rest of the FMA DVD's? I've already got_

_1,2,5,7,10,11,12, and 13, but I can't seem to find the rest! Oh, I have__ t__he__movie__ to__o. That one's important._

_Winry: __Chyup__tankies__! I finally got it__written! -__glomps__-_

_Ed: I'm sorry, I blab __a__lot when I get excited._

_Al:__-__huggles__-__Don't ask, just thought you needed a hug. _

_Onna__-san_

**BakaKonekoRKL****Lol****…I like ****InuYasha****, too…but it's so long! Anyway, ****just look**** in my profile for all the anime/manga I like…Oh, and did you know that the next FMA novel should be coming out next month: ) ****Also****, you should be able to find FMA DVDs on Amazon. ****If that doesn't work, or if they don't have them or in not very good condition, try ****AnimeCastle**** Stores you can get them at include ****SunCoast****, Saturday Matinee and FYE. I think they all have websites, too, so try them. ****Lemme**** know how it works out!!**

**Winry: That's great!**

**Ed: Yeah, I noticed. Just like another authoress we all know…**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: What, you're not talking about me, now, ****are**** you?**

**Ed: …No. ****Of **_**course**_** not.**

**Al: ****Aww****. Thanks: )**

_Yay! Thanks for answering me!_

_Ed- NO! Make. __Her.__ A. Teddy!! It'd be more special! __;D__ or else I'm __gonna_

_ Have the talking __plushie__ kitty that I gave Al bug you until you make it!_

_mweehehehehehe__. And the kitty is alchemy proof. ._

_Winry, Roy, __Riza__- Did you start on your __teddys__ yet:D_

_Al- What if... on your journey Ed suddenly gets a flu and you're in the_

_middle__ of nowhere...away from civil__iz__ation. What would you two do?__This_

_has__ been__in my mind for a while. _

_BakaKonekoRKL__- I know how it feels to go back to school..._

_Ookami__Bakura_

**Ed: But I don't have time!! I mean…of course I would if I could…but I just don't have the time to do that!!**

**Winry, Roy & Riza: …Maybe.**

**Al: Well, we always carry some kind of medicine with us, usually the kind that works all around, so I'd watch after him until we got to a town, even carrying him at night if it would help us get there quicker. However, brother really doesn't get sick too often, so I don't think we have to worry.**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: I know…and I was insane enough to think that an idiot like me could take an AP, 3 A and only one B class…but it's good for college, right? ****Feh****; like I'll be able to afford going to college…**

_Sorry if this question has been asked._

_1. Ed, are you a dog person? I love __Doggys__:D Or are you a complete pet hater :(_

_2. (For all of you) I READ 74 CHAPTERS OF THE MANGA AND LOOKING FOR_

_ MORE! HOW__DO I GET OUT OF THE OBSESSION!_

_3. Al, you own! (Not really a question, but still)_

_4. Riza, you own too! YOU ROCK!_

_5. Rose, now you know you can't revive your dead boyfriend, would you__go out_

_with__ Ed? Even with__ his Problem_

_6. Ed,__ I dare you to not go crazy when people call you ($H0R7)_

_7. Roy, have you read the manga? Cause in there Ed doesn't really hate_

_y__ou__ "t__hat" much, and also, don't buy that (Spoilers for manga) carload of_

_f__lowers__again! They just waste your money... then you will get poor... then __I_

_can't__say "DMN YOU COLONEL"_

_Anywayz__, I hope people will read this.__THANK YOU IF YOU DID!_

_And__…_

_8. Al, Riza, (Not talking as a pairing) YOU OWN! PLEASE TALK BACK TO_

_YOUR__ELDERS AND MAKE SURE YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT, AND NOT STOP!_

_9. I'm talking __to __Al, for the kitten _

_WhiteRosary_

**Ed: No…I like animals! I like cats and dogs, but it wouldn't be practical for us to keep pets with us while we travel around, you know?**

**Roy: Well, you can't get rid of the obsession. All you can really do is get so busy with other things that you forget to read online. So try watching new anime series online (YouTube may not work; try ****Truveo****), read ****fanfiction****, and things like that. Once you forget to do it for a while, your interest in it ****will wane. **(Note: This has been tested in BakaKonekoRKL. The only problem is that she can't keep busy enough to keep from reading OHSHC and FMA…So just don't get tempted!!)

**AL: Thanks!!**

**Riza: Thank you.**

**Rose: Problem? What problem?**

**Ed: …I can't make any promises.**

**Roy: Oh, Ed doesn't really hate me. It's more like a…friendly hate, get it?**

**Ed: Not really…**

**Roy: Anyway, I had a very good reason for buying those flowers!!**

**Al & Riza: Um…thank you…**

_Konichiwa_

_Ed: If you were in the desert with no arms, what would you do? (Sorry,__ j__ust__been on my mind for a while ) BTW, being short rocks (even if you_

_w__on__'__t__ admit__that you are ;_

_Al: gives Al a litter of kittens Here you go, have fun If you_

_could__ eat__one meal what would it be?_

_Winry: If you are so good with mechanics, why don't you make Ed a__ l__ittle__mechanical monkey and confess your love to him? Oh by the way, hands__Winry a_

_gold__ wrench. DO NOT use this to hit Ed, you could be giving him__serious head_

_injuries_

_Pinako__: What on E__arth do you use to keep your hair up?_

_Ro__y: Admit it, you like Riza (I'__m watching you!) gives Roy a mini__skirt__Here you go, knock yourself out _

_Riza: If you had to give up your guns for a day, what would you do?_

_Mae__s__: If you couldn'__t see or talk about your daughter, would you go_

_insane_

_Scar: What is your real name?_

_This goes out to all the Homunculi out there: If you were human, what__would_

_you__ do?_

_Rose: What will you name your baby?_

_Lots of love, _

_Lucy_

**Ed: Um…keep walking until I found a town with an automail mechanic?**

**Al: Yay!!**

**Ed: Al! We **_**definitely **_**can't take care of **_**baby cats!!!**_

**Al: …Alright…****Hm****, if I could eat one meal, I'd probably like to try the pie that ****Gracia**** taught Winry to make : )**

**Winry: …Why a monkey? A-and what makes you so sure that I love him!!? Wow, thanks! But trust ****me,**** he's already had brain damage for a while now…**

**Pinako****Hm****? Oh, it's naturally like this!!**

**Roy: Hmm, I can use this miniskirt to help me design the new female uniforms for once I'm Fuhrer!**

**Riza: I wouldn't do anything different if I didn't have work, but if I did, I would go about my day as I normally would; I just wouldn't be of much help if we had to leave the office.**

**Hughes: ****Hm****, definitely!**

**Ed: You already are insane…**

**Scar: …I no longer deserve to go by my god-given name…so you may continue to call me Scar.**

**Lust & Sloth: I'd want to live my life as a normal human…**

**Gluttony: Eat a lot of food…**

**Envy: Kill people.**

**Greed: Pick up chicks, make money.**

**Wrath: I could live with my mommy!**

**Pride: Continue to rule the country…with an iron fist.**

**Rose: I named him after my dead boyfriend…**

_Hey all! It's me again! And __whoah__, I saw someone get arrested the other_

_day__and I cried for him, even though I didn't know him. I'm in a really_

_crying__mood lately...hormones? I __dunno__...but anyway!!_

_(Mr. Fuhrer) ...You're right! (__continues__ to like)_

_(Envy) __Wow...thank__ you. That's so nice. (__tears__ up) You're sweet! You're__even_

_all__ honest in telling me I'm making no sense!!_

_(Ed) ...Who's __Yachiru__? Some short person?_

_(Roy)(__contemplates_

_(Al/Winry) You guys are so nice! (__tears__ up again)_

_(Havoc) __tears break) I'M SORRY!! I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON!_

_(Lust) (__cries__ harder) You're all being so nice to me! I don't deserve_

_it_

_(Izumi) __Really?__ That's so romantic__becomes a teary mess) Like a__storybook!_

_WHY COULDN'T I BE SO LUCKY?!_

_(Wrath) (__sniffles__) Let's do this! (__whips__ out chocolate)_

_BakaKoneko__) I always burn toast too... (__cries__ over toaster) WHY MUST__YOU_

_TORMENT ME!!_

_Does anyone have a box of tissues? I'm making the floor slick...I'd__better go__before I flood the place and mess up Sloth's __mojo__...see you all__(hopefully_

_more__ composed) later!_

_Lana-__Rinreed_

**BakaKonekoRKL****: So was I the day before school started…because school was starting, and I was finishing up watching the Ouran anime…**

**Pride: **(smirks)

**Envy: Uh…yeah. Calm down, alright?**

**Ed: …****Nevermind**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Yeah! She's the little pink-haired girl from Bleach…she's only like 3 feet tall, ne? Check on Wikipedia.**

**Winry: ****Aww****…thanks!**

**Al: Yeah…Um…don't cry…**

**Havoc: N-no!! You're not! In fact, I'm sure that you're a really great person!**

**Lust: …Please calm down.**

**Izumi: Romance rarely works out like that…There are many, many people less lucky than you, and not only in their love lives.**

**Wrath: Yeah!!!**

_I'm back. __Again.__Saz__ has bowed out again, but this time I brought my__little__sister Shi, who has some questions for you. She'll be first._

_SHI'S STUFF._

_Envy: I like your hair. Do you have any friends?_

_Riza: I like your eyes. Did you have to work hard to be so good at__shooting_

_stuff_

_Edward: Why do you wear gloves? Doesn't your hand get hot?_

_Al: Does it suck being super-tall?_

_Roy: I had something I wanted to ask you, but I forgot because...I was__occupied with trying to steal your gloves._

_Gluttony: You got a favorite food? Besides, like, people?_

_Lust: Does Gluttony ever get on your nerves? Also, how do you move so__ q__uick__ly __in your dress?_

_ZILO'S THINGS_

_To Authoress: Once my fingers were numb and I gnawed them to bits. It__hurt__like the dickens later, so I __k__now how that is. __Pics__ and __vids__Really?__Ooh...I'll have to go look at them._

_To Ed: No, no, they can't do that, see, because they're psychopaths.__Their__brains are wired differently, so they'd probably go on a rampage if__some boy__dared to __cosplay__ you, especially if he wasn't cute enough. Trust me, I__know.__I'm friends with SAZ, the girl who punched an ugly guy for __cosplaying_

_Roy._

_To Winry/Al: I agree. Oh, and Winry, how did you get your hair to grow__so_

_long__? I have been trying all my life to grow my hair out, and right now__it's_

_down__ to my ears, which tells you how successful I've been._

_To Ed/Envy/Roy: Yes, a car. __A nice one.__ Want to hear the ironic part?__It's a_

_Mustang.__ Yes. I'm going to get it painted green with silver flames._

_To Tucker: Hmm. I see. How about eating and drinking? I know you can do__that_

_upside__ down without problems, but every time I've done it I felt like I__was_

_choking_

_To Pride: Oh...I see. See, no one explained that to me. I just saw you__dodging people's attacks and thought it was that natural Homunculi__agility, or__whatever. Man, what a useful power._

_To Lust: That's what I thought, but I wasn't sure. I just finished__watching_

_episode__ 44 yesterday, one of the ones where you're pinned to the wall.__Could_

_you__ not get off because they had one of those things through your__Ouroborus_

_however__ you spell it) mark? I didn't get it. And one more, rather__random_

_thing__. Have you ever heard of a girl name __Tohru__ Honda?_

_To Envy: Like it matters. She's nuts. I'm just waiting for her mom to__tell me__the government's confirmed it._

_Okay, all, that's it for today. Before I go, I must tell you of my__Homunculi_

_name__ sighting of the day: a massage parlor called "Massage Envy" Yep.__Okay,_

_leaving_

_Zilo's__ Blue Pen_

**Envy: Why would I need friends?**

**Riza: Thank you. Yes, I did.**** You always should work hard at something if you want to get better at it.**

**Ed: It's mainly so that people don't see my automail. Like I told those ****Ishbalan**** kids, Rick and Leo, people, especially kids, get scared when they see my automail. And it would look silly to wear a glove on only one hand, right?**

**Al: Um…not really. I only get embarrassed a little when people mistake me for brother's dad.**

**Roy: …It'll never happen.**

**Gluttony: …Besides people…Hmm, ****dunno****. Cake, maybe.**

**Lust: Sometimes, but not often. ****Years of practice.**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: It only recently stopped hurting…****lol****…****It's annoying…Yeah! Check out my ****LiveJournal****!! I ALWAYS put pictures on there, so friend me if you've got one!!!**

**Ed: Well, I'd punch a guy for ****cosplaying**** the Colonel too. …****Fangirls**** are SCARY. **(Note: In The Bleach Crack Parody, which can be found on YouTube, one of Ichigo's sisters says something along the lines of, "Sister, please promise me we won't be fangirls when we grow up!" …That kinda inspired this. So watch it.)

**Winry: Um…I don't know? Well, I never get haircuts, and only trim the dead ends maybe…once a year, because I take good care of it. That's all I do…**

**Ed: Why a Mustang? Don't you have any cars called "****Elric****" or anything?**

**Roy: Why not paint my face on it??**

**Tucker: It's really quite simple once you get used to it.**

**Pride: My agility allows me to move out of the way…but the Eye lets me see what's going to happen, so I can use it beyond fighting.**

**Lust: Yes, that's right. No, sorry, I have no idea who she is…**

**Envy: ****Heh****Right.**** Hmm…so does that mean that I get free massages or something?**

_GIRLY-GIRL -growls and brings rocket launcher and flame thrower out- I'M NO_

_GIRLY-girl -aims at Barry –Sorry, Greed, you're like the hottest guy and well yea, women just fall all over you __am__ I right? __Ohh__ and you're welcome Greed JUST DON'T GET YOURSELF KILLED AGAIN... Yes personality wise Izumi.-gives Ed a death glare- Envy Relax __hehe__ you'r__e still a__wesome and notice no one has called you a girl for a while see )__... Roy, light E__d on fire __PLEASE__Ohh__ and__Barry I__ play with swords and lighters. __I HATE PINK,__ORANGE,__YELLOW Light colors__basi__cal__ly__and 5th grade tied two annoying guy friends of mine upside __down to a__pole so__don__'__t mess with me__, got it?__ OHH YEAH September 4th was my birthday__, so__ please say__ happy birthday do me! __T__ah__ for now_

_Shikamaruluverbrit_

**Barry the Chopper: Um…Ok, ok! Sorry! ****Alright?**** Just don't kill me!!**

**Greed**** ) That's right! Right…Like I'd try to…but still, thanks, kid.**

**Ed: WHY ME!?!?**

**Envy: Hey…that's right…**

**Roy: Sorry, but it'd look bad on my resume if I lit one of my employees on fire. Besides, he does good work.**

**Barry the Chopper: …**

**All: Happy birthday!!!!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Your birthday was my last day of summer……**

_Here are my questions: _

_Ed- I've heard from a fan of yours that you have the __hots__ for either__Riza or_

_Winry.__ Who would you rather go out with, or see yourself with?__COUGHrizagowithroyCOUGH_

_Al- you are so innocent and kind, I just love your personality. So, I__got_

_need__ some advice from you, I want to have this dog, but the thing is__that I_

_know__ I'm not responsible, i__t's hard for me to take care of pets, what__should I__do? _

_Roy- Wow.__. you are such a girl-magnet. But I have an odd feeling you__haven't_

_done__ it with a girl yet.__. Have you? Are you saving it for a special__someone?_

_Do you even know what I'm trying__ to imply when I say 'doing it'__? If__not, you__'__r__e __dumb. __:D__COUGHrizaisbestCOUGH_

_Ignore my coughing habits... That's all the questions for now. _

_lilchibihina_

**Ed: WOAH, WOAH, WOAH!! Ok, let's get this straight. Riza is a really nice woman and a FRIEND, but nothing more than that!! Are you trying to make her out to be a pedophile or something!?**

**Al: Thanks! Um…well, if you're really dedicated, you could try making notes for yourself and leaving them around the house…Maybe put a white board on the fridge and ****make**** a list of the things you need to do. However, if your parents are making you take care of it, I'd suggest not getting it until you feel like you can be more responsible; however, if you do get one, pets (dogs in particular) often help people gain more responsibility…You may want to start out with a fish or something, though.**

**Roy: …O-of course I know what it means!!! But I'm not going to tell people, especially a total stranger!!!**

_Ugh. S__chool starts __friggin__'__ tomorrow..._

_Y__ay__S__hikamaru_

_Izumi- 1) __W__ould__ you be okay if a 14-year-old with insecurity problems__dressed_

_up__ as you? Because the only FMA people I__ remotely resemble are you and__Envy_

_(GAG __GAG__GAG__ BARF PUKE) (__no__ self-respecting teen girl would be caught__dead_

_dressed__ like a gender-confused palm tree aloe plant, including me) 2)__ H__as_

_anyone__ ever called you __Zoomy__O__r Zoom-Zoom?_

_Ed and Al- W__atching you guys angst is so much fun XD fuzzy fluffy__E__lricest_

_FOREVER_

_E__nvy__- C__an you change you__r gender when you shape shift? D__oes it take a__lot __of_

_energy__? I__s that why you chose to be androgynous, to not have to do the__whole_

_routine__ of fully switching__ from one gender to the other? D__o homunculi__even_

_have__ genders? C__ould you have__ a baby with L__ust if you wanted to?_

_Lust- C__ould you__ have a baby if you wanted to? D__o you get PMS?_

_Havoc- -sob- I would have gone out with you, I__ swear, if we weren't in__two__parallel universes! _

_Ed- I__f you didn't HAVE __to kill Greed, would you have? H__e wasn't out to__ g__et__you, unlike pretty much everyone else.__ I wouldn't have killed him if I __were__you. -__anime__-_

_G__reed__-Ling-creature- D__o you__ two talk to each other a lot? Or does G__reed__do__stuff while L__ing sits in a corner and writes love letters to __RanF__an_

_Advice.__ Here we go. M__y sister has la__tely taken an interest in FMA. S__he_

_watched__ the first two episodes with me, and we read volume 2 together.__ O__ne_

_part__ of me is glad to show her all this great stuff, but another part__of me_

_doesn't__ want her to invade my pr__ivate world. W__ell, not exactly private,__ but I_

_don't__ want__ to have to share it with her. Am I an evil person? W__hat__ should I_

_do_

_HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite_

**BakaKonekoRKL****: I have trig homework……****You can kill me at the next time most convenient for you…**

**Shikamaru****Wha****- I'm still in here!? This is such a drag…**

**Izumi: Of course. That would be perfectly fine.**

**Envy: Like I'd WANT a girl to dress up as me!!!**

**Izumi: ****For**** your second question, no (thankfully).**

**Al: Um… ****Uo.o**

**Ed: ………You're sick.**

**Envy: Obviously, yes. I've been young, old, male, female, pretty much anything you can think of. It does require more energy than most (actually, probably all) of the other Homunculi's attacks. We don't have genders, since we're not human ****(usually people just give us genders depending on what we look like and what the people we were supposed to be were). NO I CANNOT.**

**Lust: No to both (thankfully).**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: …Damn. I'm ****gonna**** become a Homunculus now……**

**Havoc: That's what everyone says!!**

**Ed: I'm not sure…I mean, he was a homunculus, but he wasn't all that bad…but then again, he **_**did **_**kidnap Al…And who knows what he could have done…Plus he's looking to be immortal and all that, so I probably would have.**

**Greed: I'm in control of this body.**** He doesn't do anything.**

**Envy: No, you're just a terrible person.**

**Al: No you're not! It's natural for you to feel that; many people do (for instance, the authoress of this story is VERY possessive of her anime characters…****though she does share them with her sister and friend, because she always talks about them with them****). What you can do is ignore that feeling and get her into other anime; for example, if she likes FMA, get her to watch and/or read Bleach, Naruto, and then maybe try Karin and Moon Phase, or others that you like (Sorry, I don't know which ones you like, so I'm taking a wild guess ****Uo.o**** ). If you can get her to like a bunch, chances are**** she'll like anime for a while yet to come, and you guys can talk about it for a long time. I don't know if you can go to conventions, but you can ****cosplay**** together. Like I said, I don't know what ****animes**** you watch, but there are many with siblings. So while it may be hard to share "your world", if you do, you'll end up enjoying yourself much more.**

_Envy: No...I won't go away. It's too much fun to mess with you and the_

_pipsqueak__Mwahaha_

_Barry: Well...Now that I think about it...You're __bodiless__ armor and__Gluttony_

_is__ a __Homunculus__ that can pretty much eat anything...So you actually__shouldn't__have any issues with getting caught, right? _

_Roy: Hmm...I guess you're right...__Cross dressers__ wouldn't make a very__ g__ood__impression for your Miniskirt army, huh? _

_Ed: Well...I'm not them. So let's see what you got there short-stuff!_

_Wrath: Well...Based on what Lust said...I guess you have nothing to__ w__orry__about then. _

_Lust: No...__I guess not. That makes sense.__ Just thought I'd make sure._

_BakaKonekoRKL__: I don't have that big a problem reading them...I just__ t__hought__I'd mention it. _

_I'm drawing a blank when it comes to thinking of anything else for this_

_time__...So I must think of more questions by the next time. _

_Until then! _

_Prince-Marth85_

**Envy: …****Well…YOUR FRIENDS HATE YOU.**

**Barry the Chopper: Yeah…but if I **_**do **_**get caught, I could be killed for real…however, I'll do it!!**

**Roy: Exactly.**

**Ed: You're on!!**

**Wrath: Yup.**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Oh…well, thanks! **

_To Gluttony: If you can just regenerate and if __your__ always hungry why don't you just eat yourself?_

_CharmedFullMetalAvatar_

**Gluttony: … **(gnaws on hand) **I don't taste very good…and it would be just too much trouble to keep regenerating after I eat myself…besides, it's not as fun!**

_Hi! I h__ave a few questions for all you FMA people..._

_Hughes: Reading about your death was really sad dude, rest in peace.__Also,__about how many photo albums do you have?_

_Al: Kitty's rule. It's so messed that Ed won't let you have one_

_Roy: If you are to become F__u__hr__er, what other changes would you make__, b__esides__the mini-skirt thing?_

_Riza: What's you're vision? Like 20/20?_

_Winry: Would you ever consider making a remote control for Ed's__automail? You__could make him do a whole bunch of stuff!_

_Ed: Dude, don't you're pants ever bother you? I mean they look like a__ t__ight__fit. And do you use a lot of money in clothing? I mean since you always__tear__your sleeve off to fight with your auto-mail sword thing. Also, how would you__react to Winry making a remote control for your__auto-mail?_

_Envy: You rock du__de. So mellow, but utterly viole__nt. Nice_

_KittiesRock&SoDoesFMA_

**Hughes: Sorry ****Uo.o**** Well…the sizes vary, and I do have some that I carry around with me and I like to rotate them so everyone gets to see all different pictures of my little ****Elysia****, but I do have around ten full ones, and I'm starting an eleventh.**

**Al: I know! Well, I guess I can see where he's coming from…**

**Roy: …I haven't planned that far yet.**

**Riza: Yes.**

**Winry: Yeah…I could…!**

**Ed: Don't even think about it!! It could only end in disaster!**

**Winry: ****Aww****, come on, Ed! Just ****lemme**** try it!!**

**Ed: No.**

**Winry: ****Pweaaaase**

**Ed: No way.**

**BakaKonekoRKL****: Yeah, **_**Ed**_**, you supposedly wear boxers, but your pants are way too tight for that. You sure you don't wear a man-thong or something???**

**Ed: …ARE YOU INSANE!? Yeah, they're tight, but they don't bother me or anything weird like that!!! That's just gross! I'm taking off 'till the next column.**

**Al: Uh…well, you see, brother can usually just find the pieces of his clothes and transmute them back so it looks perfectly fine.**

**Envy: ****Heh****. Thanks.**

_**I have no more energy. It took me like 3 days to type this up…During that **__**time,**__** I started school (I'm lucky I didn't kill myself…) and finished the last episode of Ouran HSHC (which made me cry…). So, sorry I couldn't get the last two in, but I'm getting these from my e-mail now…So I guess that's easier (?). However, I **__**dunno**__** how it's **__**gonna**__** go soon (for a few months), between school, my sister's soccer, **__**TaeKwonDo**__** and training for the **__**TaeKwonDo**____**tournament…So just please be patient with me!! Because, truthfully, I work on these until it's really late; in fact, I won't be remembering ANY of this tomorrow morning **__**lol**____** I've also just written 2 and a half **__**fanfics**__**, so I'd like to type those up at some point…Thanks for reading!! **__**lol**_


	63. Chapter 63

Sorry it took so freaking long to update; apparently I was using a "trial version" of Microsoft 2007, and that ran out, so now I just have the old 2000 version…but better than nothing, ne? SO PAY ATTENTION TO THIS… : ) Ok, two things. First!!! On my latest or second latest livejournal page (edokunslover ish my name and the name of the entry is AnimeNEXT Goodness), I have a TON of videos and pictures from AnimeNEXT, so I'd really love it if you'd check them out. SECONDLY, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT MORE THAN ONE SET OF QUESTIONS PER CHAPTER. Okey? I mean, if you forgot something in your original question, fine, but after this chapter, if you submit more than one set of questions per chapter, I'll ONLY use the FIRST one. I'll probably add the second one to the next chapter, the third to the one after that, and so on, but there's just WAY too much editing for me to put like 5 sets of questions together. Oh, and don't change your name to get more in, ok? I've already stated that I'm going to 100 chapters, so you can always ask once I post the next chapter up. I know that some of you are worried that I won't answer or won't be able to answer your questions, especially newer people, but in case you haven't noticed, I DO. So PLEASE don't submit like five sets of the same questions, ok? However, if you see that I haven't answered your question like three chapters after you submitted it, I could have accidentally deleted it or something, so then just re-send them with a little note, and it should be no problem. Ok, I'll rant more at the end, but for now, let's get on to the questions, ok!

_More questions and comments from me. Al- For the past 2 weeks I've been surviving on about 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night, and, despite that, I'm usually extremely hyper and loud during the day, but today it finally caught up to me, I slept though business, and at lunch, I was quiet, when I'm usually yelling to be heard over my friends, or laughing my off, how should I get more sleep?_

_Wrath- You were there when Al got his body back right, he didn't look 10, did he? Oh and, was he naked?_

_Envy handcuffs him to Joshua from "Chrono's Crusade" YOU CAN ONLY EAT CARROTS! throws him into a white room_

Moofy-Fan 

**Al: Well, I don't sleep much myself **(in armor)**, but I'd tell you to start gradually going to bed earlier. If you're going to bed at midnight, go to bed at 11:45 for a few nights. Once that begins to feel natural, go to bed at 11:30, and so on and so forth.**

**Wrath: Uh…yeah, he did. And I think he was…sorry, I was kinda in pain from MY LIMBS BEING TORN OFF, so I can't really remember all that well.**

**Envy: What. The. Fcuk.**

_LING: NO HOW COULD YOU?! Oh, I'm sorry, you're Greed now...you need to be kicked in the nades many times over._

_Solar Knight_

**Ling: …At least I have the Philosopher's Stone, right?**

_AL! -glomps- I saw a icon of you with a box of kitties! YAY!! Al's gunna have kitties one day!_

_SasaIsASexyDemoness_

**Al: Really!? Yay!!! I'm gonna get a kitty!! I'm gonna get a kitty!!**

**Ed: Key words: **_**one day.**_

_Guess what? I am asking for advice this time, and not dissing Envy (although I think I should anyways). There is this guy at school I like. Several years ago (I was in 4__th__ grade, long ago) he asked me out. I said no (even though I liked him back then, too. Don't ask, I have a screwed up mind.) now I think he hates my guts. And that's not all. There is this other guy that I've known for about 4-5 years, and I am starting to like him, but not as much as the first guy. I know the second_

_guy doesn't hate me (we text back and forth 20 times a day), and my friend hinted that he wanted to ask me out. If he does what should I do?_

_Your Crazy (and confused) Vampire_

_YoruHime_

**Envy: Oh gee. I feel honored.**

**Al: Well if the first guy doesn't like you anymore, then there's really no hope in him, is there?**

**Winry: You said you kind of like the second guy, so if he likes you too and asks you out, you should accept! Like Al said, there's only a very small chance that the first guy likes you, or will like you again, but this guy likes you now, and if you like him, where's the harm in going out with him?**

_Hey! Sorry I haven't been able to able to talk to you in a while, I had band and then school started, it's been chaotic._

_To everyone (including the authoress):_

_When I was coming home from an away football game on the band bus my guy friend started poking me in the head and I grabbed his hand and fingers intertwined (holding hands). He would not let go until we got back to the school half an hour later and even then he didn't want to let go until he had to stand up to get off the bus. When we got back into the band room my section had clean-up (he's the drum major so he had to stay) and while we were cleaning he kept looking over at me and smiling really wide and then when I left he gave me a bone crushing hug (he's strong and he's 6'2 so he towers over me) to tell me goodnight. He acted the same way at school today (minus the hand holding), does this mean anything?_

_Thanks a lot!_

_EdElricFan1001_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Yeah, school sucks xP I'm taking three A classes and one AP…only one B…so life's gonna be torture soon (just be glad you don't have to write an essay on comparing someone to Beowulf…). Oh, and I'm assuming you're a girl (you didn't have your gender on your profile, and I'm sorry, but I'm really bad at guessing people's heights, weights and, on the internet, genders. Sometimes I can't tell peoples' genders in real life, too 0o), so if you're a guy, just tell me and re-send the question in…please don't be offended!! **(bows)

**Ed: Um, yeah it means something! Either he's messing with you, or he likes you.**

**Winry: The best way to find out is to ask him yourself. But first figure out if you like him. You don't want to ask him if he likes you and him saying yes and asking you out when you don't know your own feelings; maybe you do and you just didn't mention it here.**

**Al: Right. So just say something like, "Hey, I've noticed the way you've been acting around me lately, so I've been wondering, do you like me or something?". Even if it turns out that he doesn't and he was just fooling around, the only way that you can find out for sure is by asking him yourself. Well, I suppose you could have another friend ask for you…**

**Ed: And if you're gonna reject him, do it kindly, okay? Whether he likes you or not, he still probably wants to be your friend.**

_I have a guy friend who I knew last year and now he's taller than me. He keeps calling me short. So Ed, can I borrow a few of your rants to use? Anyway, whenever he talks, he is always being mean to me. How do I tell him to stop, cause no matter how hard I try he won't. Oh and my birthday passed but can you guys sing happy birthday for me since nobody remembered? Gives_

_Ed, Al, Winry, Riza, and Roy hugs._

_Midnight Hikari_

**Ed: Go ahead. Kick the guy's ass!!**

**Al: ****Um…maybe you could just tell him nicely that he's hurting your feelings when he's mean to you like that. If he really wants to stay your friend, he'll stop.**

**Ed: Yeah, so…good luck. But I don't sing.**

**Winry: Oh, come on, Ed!**

**Ed: No.**

**Riza: Sorry, but…I can't really sing either. Happy birthday, though.**

**Roy: Yeah, same here. Happy birthday.**

**Al: …Happy birthday!!**

**Winry & Ed: Happy birthday!**

_BakaKonekoRKL: I can!! YAY!_

_Barry: Aw! Thanks for the compliment, Barry! -laughs-_

_Envy: Uh-huh... fine then... -takes out some hair gel, tackles Envy and gels his hair, making it stick straight up, so now he looks like a cockatoo- HA! Now you're a bird instead of a tree!_

_Wrath: Thank god! You stopped crying! -gives him a giant cookie- there you go!_

_Shoushin_

BakaKonekoRKL: Yea…Just send it to my new e-mail (which, by the way, has the coolest name EVER).

**Barry the Chopper: …**

**Envy: What's wrong with you? Anyway, I can just transform and it'll be back to normal. **(does so)

**Wrath: YEEE!!! GIANT COOKIE!!!**

_Ugh. I keep forgetting to sign my name. Sorry. I'll do it right now so I don't forget. There. Okay, moving on. Shi is back and as non-excitable as ever. Let's all pretend we care, eh?_

_SHI'S STUFF._

_Envy: ...Okay, how about acquaintances?_

_Riza: I think so too. I don't shoot guns but I play lots of soccer._

_Edward: But then you would be like Michael Jackson before he went psycho...aw. Oh well._

_Alphonse: Well, what's worse? Being mistaken for his dad or him?_

_Roy: Methinks you think too highly of yourself. (kicks him in the shin and takes one)_

_Gluttony: Cake...I like cake._

_Lust: That's awesome. You looked nice in that coat thing when you went and stabbed Marcoh._

_ZILO'S THINGS._

_Oh my God, I think my sister's on drugs. She's talking in monotone and scowling at people._

_To Authoress: Now I have a reason to go on LiveJournal...yay!_

_To Ed: Really? Now, would you use the left fist or the right? (about the car) Unfortunately, no. We have Mustangs and...that might be it. I'll have to check._

_To Roy: Um...no. I'm obsessed enough!_

_To Pride: Oh, so that's how it is. Is the Eye, like, so awesome it can see through an eye patch? Or do you just not use it when you've got the patch on? And when you're smiling, you close the other eye...you don't walk into walls, do you? (worried)_

_To Lust: Oh, that's okay. I just saw the episode where you died, and it made me so-o-o-o sad. Because, well, you died. And Wrath did it! (points at Wrath accusingly) You Lust-murdering jerk!_

_To Envy: ...Well...they might freak if you showed up...but then again, they might not know who you are. Oh, hey, I heard you like chocolate parfait. Is that true? You want one?_

_To Anyone who can analyze dreams: Last night I dreamt that I became a Homunculus, and I went to a restaurant with Lust and Envy and ate ramen...I think I've gone over the edge of obssession...help?_

_That's all for now. Um, hmm...wait an hour after eating before swimming._

_-Zilo's Blue Pen_

BakaKonekoRKL: Eh! Um…no, please don't worry too much about it Uo.o And besides, you use excellent grammar and spelling and such, so that also helps me : )

**Envy: …I guess.**

**Riza: That's good. It's a very good idea to get into sports.**

**Ed: …Who? I'm not psycho!!**

**Al: Um…well, being mistaken for his dad makes me feel bad, but being mistaken for him makes him feel bad which makes me feel bad…so I guess being mistaken for him is worse.**

**Roy: Ow! Hey! Get back here!**

**Gluttony: Heh heh…me too…**

**Lust: Thank you.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Yay!! Friend me! XD I also have some con pics/vids that you should check…**

**Ed: What do you think, I'm stupid? If I didn't use my automail hand, I'd hurt myself!**

**Roy: Okay, if you say so…**

**Pride: It's the Ultimate Eye. Of course it can see through an eye patch. I don't need my other eye to see when I have the Ultimate Eye.**

**Wrath: I was ordered to! And anyway, **_**she's **_**the one who betrayed **_**us**_

**Envy: ………Ok, sure. A little.**

**Ed: Well, word on the street is, if you have a dream about a crab, that means you're gay.**

**Al: She…wasn't asking that.**

**Winry: Dreaming of restaurants means that you're feeling overwhelmed my choices or decisions that you have to make. You were eating ramen with people, so that represents physical and emotional nourishment and prosperous undertakings and personal gain. That's what I read.**

**Ed: …Or it could be that she's too obsessed.**

**Winry: Yeah…but I just wanted to tell her all of the possibilities!**

_To Ed:_

_How do you feel about the fact that some people think you're in love with Roy Mustang?_

_-Black Hayate47_

Ed: I think that they're insane fangirls who need to get over themselves and get a life.

**BakaKonekoRKL: Hey…I'm an insane fangirl who needs to get a life…**

_This is the Night Sky Alchemist and I want everyone to know that Envy's outfit is FINE THE WAY IT IS._

_I'm just showing u this to see how the characters will react, but here's a list of the people on FMA that me and my friend Edith think should get together:_

_First of all, I am TOTALLY dedicated to Ed & Winry! YAY! YAY! TWO PSYCHOS ALWAYS BELONG TOGETHER!_

_DEFINATELY Roy & Riza!_

_Havoc & Armstrong's sis (she totally doesn't deserve him)_

_And finally, (not that you would know her), but my OC Tenna and Fuery! YES!_

_Also, btw, I don't think Ed is short! PERFECT HEIGHT! I ALSO AGREE THAT THE OTHERS ARE JUST HUMUNGO GIANTS! ED IS NOT SHORT. HE'S NOT!_

_To everyone:_

_1) What is your favorite color?_

_2) What is your favorite kind of weather?_

_3) Which Homunculus do you hate the least?_

_4) What is your favorite book? Who wrote it?_

_5) Of the fanfictions you've seen, which one disgusts you most? What was it about?_

_6) (This one's a toughie) What would you're dream spouse be like? _

_Please, when you answer, tell me the question number you're referring to, or I won't know which one you're answering!_

_Winry-chan - What is automail powered by? I know it's connected to a human's nerves, but what fuels it? Does a person's blood flow through it or what? Honestly, your work amazes me. (I wish I was you! You have both the mad mechanic skillz and the love of Ed! ED! I YEARN FOR YOU!) _

_Al-kun - _

_If you ever DID get a cat, what would you name it? I have like four cats so I want you to know that if you ever get one I'll take care of it when you're doing dangerous stuff. Always more room in the family!_

_Ed-kun, my darling - _

_Some retards seem to think that you're in love with Rose? Is this true? BTW, don't be afraid to tell us if it is. Just so you're happy, I'll let you know that EVERY SINGLE GIRL I KNOW THAT WATCHES FMA IS IN LOVE WITH YOU, INCLUDING MYSELF. Also some of my friends_

_that DON'T watch it, but see pictures or sometimes watch over my shoulder. My other question to you is whether you prefer girls who are normal or psycho. (PLEASE say psycho!) Also, do you have any romantic interest in Noa? If so, is it stronger or weaker than your interest in Winry?_

_Also, if I were, say, a totally HOT anime babe, would you have a crush on me? I'm serious, answer all of these questions or I will allow Envy to kill you again. I mean it, sweetheart._

_BTW Ed & Al, if you ever come to America like you did in this one retarded fic I read, know that I will hug you both to death! I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH! However if I did accidentally kill you, I would be so overcome with grief that I would have to bring you back to life. I know it's a taboo! I DON'T CARE! Also if I lost a limb or two like Ed-kun did, I would get awesome automail limbs! Then I would be a cyborg! HOW COOL IS THAT:D_

_For Roy - _

_Why does everyone hate you? I, personally, though you are much older than me, a fan girl. Yes, I, the famous Night Sky Alchemist, am a Roy fangirl. (Although I am WAY more in love with Ed. lso, I majorly think Roy and Riza should hook up. COME ON! WE ALL KNOW IT!)_

_And to both Roy and Riza-san (bows head) - _

_How do you each feel knowing that some people think Riza & Ed are in love? That seriously ticks me off. I mean, EW! Riza could flippn' get ARRESTED for being in a relationship with him! HE'S LIKE FIVE OR TEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN HER! AGH! That some how creeps me out EVEN MORE than those people who think Ed and ROY are in love! BOTH THOSE RELATIONSHIPS WOULD BE ILLEGAL, YOU SICK, TWISTED BASTARDS! AGH! Besides, Ed either belongs with Winry, or with ME. YES. End of story._

_To ENVY, THE BEST CHARACTER EVER! BWA HA HA HA! –_

_I just want you to know that I think your original form isn't nearly as cool as the form you choose most often. Me and my sister are totally in LOVE with you! (Not in the same way as me and Ed though. Hugs Ed until his eyeballs pop out of his skull then freaks out) Ahem, anyway, my sister thinks you are totally great (and so do I), her desktop wallpaper is a pic of you and only you, (No kidding!)! However she seriously thought, the first time we saw you, that you were a_

_girl. I, personally, LOVE your outfit, but I want to know if you actually WANTED to be confused with a girl. Did you? By the end of the FMA movie, were you dead or just eternally trapped in the_

_Gate of Truth? If it's the second one, do you want me to get you out? Cuz if you do then I promise I will do my best!_

_Also, to all the FMA cast;_

_If you HAD to kiss ONE FullMetal Alchemist character, who would it be? Answer HONESTLY!_

_BTW, if possible, I'd also like an answer from each of the Homunculi. And Riza, please don't shoot Roy when he admits he wants to kiss you. You want it too, admit it._

_To everyone, (as a Dear Abby question):_

_1. After I watched the FMA movie, I got kinda depressed. Lately I've involved myself in writing alternate endings and fanfics in which Ed and Al can come home. The freaky thing is, though, I can't stop thinking about it. I can't even do my HOMEWORK without thinking about FMA, or my OC, or how the story will end. Do you think I have OCD (Obsessive compulsive disorder)?_

_2. This one's kinda scary, and I'm telling the absolute truth... Sometimes, when I'm sad or lonely or just plain bored, I talk to anime and manga characters in my head, sometimes even cartoon characters. And the totally freaky thing is, they offer advice I would have never even thought of on my own... And it always works. Am I insane, or just a loser who has a good imagination?_

_Love to everyone, except Armstrong, cuz I hate him -_

_-Night Sky Alchemist_

_P.S. Roy, I love you, too. Just not as much as I love Ed. Oh yeah and Wrath, my homie, no one understands just how awesome you are._

**Envy: That's right!!**

**Ed & Winry: Who are you calling psychos!?!?**

**Roy: Obviously.**

**Riza: …Get back to work, sir.**

**Havoc: **(sniffles) **I wish…**

**Fuery: Um…do OCs count?**

**Ed: THAT IS SO TRUE!! Hm, I like red and when it's sunny out, but not too hot. I hate Lust the least, since she helped us towards the end, and I've only really read Alchemy books, which I doubt you know. All stories with me paired with a guy disgust me, and I'll leave the last one up to your imagination.**

**Winry: I like pink and black, and I like warm summer days, because I like to swim. I don't really hate the Homunculi, since I've never met them, and I've only read doctor's books and books on automail. I'd like a guy who's sweet and cares about me, and TELLS ME WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIS LIFE.**

**Roy: I like blue, and the only weather that I really hate is when it rains. I hate Pride the most, but I'm not sure who I hate the least, since I've never met any of the others. Heh heh…do you really want to know my favorite book? It's-**

**Riza: **(aims gun) **Didn't I tell you to get back to your paperwork?**

**Roy: Y-yes…of course.**

**Al: Um…I don't know. It depends on the cat's gender, what it looks like, and it's personality.**

**Ed: No, Rose is just a good friend. Ha…I know, I'm just so popular, right?**

**Roy: Not as much as I am.**

**Ed: Um, did she say anything about you? No. So shut up.**

**Roy: Ooh, touch-y!**

**Ed: …Well I don't like girls who are normal and like everyone else, but I don't want them to be insane fangirls, either, you know? Noa's just a friend, like Rose. Um…I guess? …You're an insane fangirl, aren't you? …You can't use Alchemy in this world, so how would you bring us back to life, exactly? Not that automail isn't cool, but you shouldn't do anything that would endanger your real limbs. That isn't cool.**

**Roy: Only Ed fangirls hate me, I think, because I torment him so much. And because I'm so much hotter than he is.**

**Riza: Don't worry, I don't feel that way about Edward. I'm not a pedophile.**

**Envy: Well, yeah, that's why I chose this form. Thanks for liking me, but I'm kinda pissed that you thought I was a girl. But hey, that guy wouldn't be? OF COURSE I didn't want to be confused with a girl!!! Um, nope. I'm dead.**

**Riza: N-No I do not!**

**Roy: Come on, Riza, don't hide it…**

**Riza: P-Paperwork! Now!**

**Lust: Why would we want to kiss a human when we're homunculi? And if someone was trying to make us, we'd just kill them.**

**Ed: Erm, well, I'm not really that into kissing, but I guess I wouldn't mind kissing Winry. **(blushing) **Y-you know…since we're so close and all.**

**Al: Um, I guess I don't really mind…as long as it's a girl!**

**Ed: ...OCD? No, you just have this thing that we like to call "obsession". It's when you love something so much, or you're so into something, that it's all you can think about, no matter what you do. My advice to you is you start watching some more anime; try Bleach, Ouran High School Host Club, Black Cat, and Death Note; that should dilute the obsession, and you may come to like one of those (or another anime/manga) even more than FMA.**

**Al: Um…well, it actually sounds like you have schizophrenia, but it could be that you're just daydreaming really…intensely? There's something called the unconscious mind, which you can usually only access when you're asleep (you may want to look it up), but perhaps you're delving into it a little when you're daydreaming, and that's why you think things you never think you'd think! Wait…um…**

**Armstrong: …You just had to say that, didn't you?**

**Roy: Come on, I'm WAY cooler!**

**Wrath: You're right…**

_Hihi! Umm I've got questions and one of them I need advice for._

_Ed:_

_1. Hiya shrimp! Don't worry, I'm as tall as you. Anyway I have a problem controlling my temper in school, and I don't want to get myself stuck in the deep end. So, what can I do to keep myself calm?_

_2. Hey, How come you and Colonel Bastard hate each other? Though those moments are funny _

_Winry:_

_1. I live around a mechanic, so I can see why you love tools so much. I wanna work with Fighter Jets in the Airforce when I get older. Anyway instead of hitting Ed with a wrench, how about a monkey wrench? Or at least a screwdriver. _

_2. Okay girl talk time XD I got a guy I really like from 4th grade. But I haven't spoken to him in a while. How do you think I should tell him, Winry? I don't wanna ruin my friendship with him either._

_Aru-kun:_

_1. Heya Al, um I was just wondering. What do you look for in a girl?_

_Roy:_

_Some Advice: BE ALITTLE MORE NICE TO EDWARD! Please, as much as I love you two to death, there's just some moments where you two should really just kiss and make-up (not really)._

_Riza:_

_How can you put up with Colonel Bastard?_

_Envy: _

_My friend Cajiun wants to know, WHY THE HELL DID YOU KILL HUGHES?!?! Ahem, and why you wear a mini-skirt?_

_Lust:_

_Heylo! Your one of my favorite homunculi so I was just wondering: How annoying is Dante?_

The-Silver-Alchemist121 

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE COULD BE IN A SIDESHOW AT A CARNIVAL!?!?**

**Al: Um...you're asking brother for advice on that? Well, don't let what people are saying get to you. First off, this will only add fuel to the fire, and they'll tease you more, but also, if you don't act like it's bothering you, not only will they probably leave you alone, but you won't get in trouble for loosing your cool. Just ignore them and you should do fine.**

**Ed: Hm, I don't know, maybe because the man LIKES TO TORMENT ME!? If it isn't one thing, it's another, making comments on my height and torturing me with "military duty"…it's just annoying!!**

**Winry: Aren't mechanics just **_**amazing**_**? Well, see, a screwdriver is thinner, so I wouldn't be able to knock as much sense into him as I can with the wrench. It just doesn't hurt as much.**

**Ed: Gee…thanks.**

**Winry: No problem : ) Anyway, you could walk him into it slowly, asking him to stay your friend no matter what and **_**then **_**tell him that you like him. But before you do that, try to re-connect a little bit; you know, talk more and rekindle your friendship with him. I think that it's easier to start a romantic relationship with a close friend than someone you haven't spoken with in years (in most cases, anyway).**

**Al: Um…sweet, and cute…able to make me smile, and who I want to make happy…I'd have to really get to know her, you know?**

**Roy: Heh, because it's fun to watch him suffer.**

**Ed: SEE!? I TOLD YOU!!!**

**Riza: Lots of patience, and a loaded gun.**

**Envy: Um, are you stupid!? He was too close to finding out the truth about Pride being the Fuhrer and Sloth being his secretary! If I hadn't killed him, all of our plans would have been ruined. Besides, I was ordered to. AND IT'S NOT A GODDAMNED MINISKIRT!!!!**

**Lust: Thank you. To be honest, I was fine with her, until I realized that she probably wasn't going to make us human with the Stone. I don't really find her annoying, per say…just a lying old hag.**

_Heh, good boy Barry next time thing BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR mouth or I _will_ kill you. Thank you everyone and I'm sorry my birthday was end of your summer vacation. But…but... He's ED... Although we both hate milk and think it's evil…Still...eh fine...Don't call me kid but, yea, you know what I say about you, Greed, so don't change… Pretty boy Lin (as I know you) GIVE ME YOUR SWORD…I mean please? You're ok, a tad insane, but heh, I like insane and have to admit you are cute, BUT GREED is the HOTTER! Tah for now. Ohh yea I changed my name…So love ya_

_all!_

_GreedSeiyaShika_

**Barry the Chopper: …No you won't.**

**Greed: Whatever. But I'm glad you still like me.**

**Lin: Ha! No way! Please, I'm not insane…right?**

_I really like this author...I'm sorry if I'm annoying you guys, but I love you all so much! Roy, Riza, Al , especially Ed, Winry, ect... hmm...I kinda feel that my last 2 review thingys were …I guess…not appreciated... anyway...I was wondering...do you peoples like getting written to? Sometimes you seem a bit annoyed with the questions..._

_ed'sgirl10310_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Thanks! Eh!? Really!? I'm sorry, I don't do it intentionally…it's just that I can do a lot more with some questions than I can do with others, and then there are times when I'm up until 1am answering these questions, and sometimes I just get in bad moods…it also depends on who you write to; I try to get a variety of each character's personality in there. So I'm sorry!!!!!!! **(bows) **I'll try to be more careful…**

**All Mentioned: Thank you!!!**

**Ed: It's not that we don't like getting written to, it's just that sometimes people ask the most absurd questions, and questions that just piss us off.**

**Al: For example: Elricest. What!? The author adores it (which is kind of scary, when you think that she controls what we say and do), but we obviously can't stand it.**

**Envy: And then there's the freaking questioning about my goddamn min- outfit, and the goddamn blankets, and-**

**Riza: But really, it's a lot of fun to answer people's questions. We get to learn about our fans and possibly help them as well. And it's fun when people come back saying the advice worked, because it makes us feel good.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Well, it makes me feel good. But you get the idea ; )**

_Hello again!! More questions for Ed! _

_So Ed, would you mind sending yourself in chains and leather in a box to my front door with your eyes covered and I will keep you in my closet and show you to Hoshi?? Please say yes! And I'm not crazy just a little fangirl-ish. Oh, and how come you barely touch your brother in CoS when you haven't seen each other in years? It doesn't make sense. OK, well that's all I got for now._

_Oh, yeah advice time! In school there are these two idiotic boys who annoy me to no end. They get in trouble but keep doing it. What do I do?!?! (and I tried to hit them but...nothing! . )_

_HanaNoHaru_

**Ed: First of all, NO. FREAKING. WAY. Secondly, who the hell is Hoshi? Yea, you're crazy. Hey, we hugged and stuff!! But you know if we did anything other than hug for a few seconds, rabid yaoi fangirls would be all over us…writing Elricest and crap…Well if they're bothering you, tell them to fcuk off! They're assholes with nothing else better to do with their time than bug you!**

**Al: Yeah, but look at it this way…they might like her or something.**

**Winry: That's right! Boys are really weird, and idiotic, but you're going to have to live with them for your entire life, so you might as well get used to it. Ask the teacher to change your seat so you're sitting far away from them. Also, just try ignoring them; like I said before, it's just adding fuel to the fire if you let it get to you, so just pretend that they don't exist.**

_BakaKoneko: Thanks! I'll do that. And I'm so excited about the next book! Yippee!_

_Ed: Yeah, well, you should know from experience that I'm ultimately psychotic Ed my dear. After all, I wrote a Crossover with FMA and Warriors for my mere entertainment! GO METALCLAW!_

_Winry: Yay! I'm making you go clothes shopping with Scieszka, she tortures you with questions that are very...embarrassing. XP Oh well, you survive thanks to your awesome wrench powers._

_Al: You're Welcome Al-kun. In the manga you went to school, yes, so what was your favorite class?_

_Love from,_

_Onna-san_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Good luck!! YEEE, I can't wait!!!!**

**Ed: …Of course. …I don't even want to know. You sick, twisted…**

**BakaKonekoRKL's sister: OMFG YAY WARRIORS!!!1!11!**

**Ed: …**

**BakaKonekoRKL: ……I'm just not even gonna say anything…**

**Winry: Um…do I want to know? Although I haven't been clothes shopping in a while…**

**Al: I liked our science classes best, of course!**

_To Ed: Hey Ed, if you want to fight me that's all fine and dandy but I wanna know something, can you win against a giant, two-headed, multi-eyed, medieval freak show mutant wielding a large sword and a cockney accent named Eyeclyopse?_

_Eyclyopse: I AM EYECLOPSE! Kicks Edward in the crotch then raises his sword to chop off Ed's headFIGHT LIKE A MAN NOT LIKE A BUM!_

_To Lust, Wrath, Envy, Sloth, Dante, and Greed: hands them some bags of popcorn Wanna see how wins in a fight between a giant, two-headed, multi-eyed, medieval freak show mutant wielding a large sword and a cockney accent and a munchkin with his nuts kicked. Tell me something have what was the most painful experience in your life, mine was when I was ran over by a school bus and had half of my face torn off._

_To Hohenheim: Sorry about having a giant freak beat up Edward it's just he brings me joy when he's in pain. Also tell me something have what was the most painful experience in your life, mine was when I was ran over by a school bus and had half of my face torn off._

_Tartarus789_

**Ed: First of all, that would and could never happen, but if it ever did, I'd totally kick it's ass. Secondly, are you on drugs, high, stoned, or all of the above!?!?**

**Pride: Why didn't you invite me? **(glares)

**Wrath: Yay!! Popcorn!!!**

**Hohenheim: Um…please don't beat up my sons…Mine was emotionally painful, and that's when I had to leave my wife and children.**

_**Okey, that's all I have time for. I'm actually on the school newspaper now and have to edit stuff (are you reading this, Ryan? Lol), plus my massive amount of homework, TKD, and my sister's gay soccer practice xP Well, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my madre, who helped me live through my gay-boring-confirmation and bought us 10 pizzas and 5 manga…Anyway, I've gotta watch my sister run around on the soccer field as I do math…Crap, I have a test tomorrow!!!!!!!!**_


	64. Chapter 64

Ah! I'm so super sorry for the long wait!! A lot has been going on; in other words, I had to write an essay xP Also, my internet kept getting raped by Aizen (a joke only me, Lindsay and Keri get…wait, does Keri know it? lol), meaning I really haven't been able to connect to the internet very well for a while…But I have some good news for those of you attending MangaNEXT this week! (An astounding…2? Not even?) I'll be there starting Friday evening! You can check my profile for more info; it should be at the very top. Also, I've started a new manga- Vampire Knight! It's really good, so check it out! Anyway, let's get on to your long-awaited questions, shall we?

_Hiya FMA people! I'm sorta new at this, but I have a couple questions for the characters._

_Ed:_

_1: You are short. DEAL WITH IT!_

_2: When will you admit your true feelings for Roy AND Winry?_

_Al:_

_1: If your brother really loves you, then he would get you a cat. _

_2: Why don't you just get one of those digital pet things anyways? It would not be a real pet._

_Winry_

_1: I hate you. Deal with it!_

_Envy_

_1: Will you kill Winry for me? And Riza? And Rose? It would practically make Ed's head explode if there were no female characters left to hook up with._

_Wrath: _

_1: Wow. Ever attend one of those Anger-management issues seminars?_

_Roy:_

_1: You look beastly with your eye-patch._

_2: I will pay you 100 million dollars for your miniskirt army, if you hook up with Ed. (Just because I am mean like that)_

Your ever obs_ess_ed fan, Raezek 

Ed: I WILL NOT!!! BECAUSE I'M NOT SHORT!!! AND WHAT'S THIS ABOUT ROY AND WINRY, YOU SICK HUMAN!?!?

**Al: N-No…he loves me…He just…Um…Well, see, it's **_**because **_**it's not a real pet…I don't want something digital, I want something that's alive, you know?**

**Winry: I'm kind of used to that (not that I'm happy about it).**

**Envy: Well…What are you gonna do for me: ) I mean, sure, it'd be fun to piss him off, but usually when I kill someone for Dante, I also get some red stones outta the deal…**

**Wrath: I AM anger!!! So that wouldn't help. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!?**

**Roy: Why thank you. And thanks, but no thanks (please, I'm not stupid).**

_Heh wanna test that Barry? Oh come on let me _see _the sword at least, Ling, I promise to not try to kill you with it. What would you guys do if you had 2 days before the world ended? I know what I would do, but what would you all do?_

_Yea random question I know I felt random for a second so eh. See ya_

_GreedSeiyaShika_

Barry the Chopper: Uh…not really, now that you mention it.

**Ling: …I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say you've never handled a weapon like a sword before? So no.**

**Envy: I'd go on a killing spree.**

**Winry: Well…I'd be very sad about it…**

_My friend took care of it for me. I might roast her alive. She forwarded an e-mail I sent her confessing my undying love for him to him! If he doesn't like me like that we might lose our friendship and then I don't know what I would do! HELP!_

_EdElricFan1001_

Ed: Well, first off, I'd talk to your friend. With a baseball bat.

**Winry: Ed!! I'm sure she **_**meant **_**well! Anyway, there's always the chance that he **_**does **_**like you, so first of all, try to think positively! Secondly, if he doesn't like you, you could always pass it off as a prank from your friend. And you can ask your friend ahead of time to agree with you. That's most likely to work, but you also have the option of admitting that yes, you do like him, but that you don't want anything to change between you two. I'm sure he'll understand.**

_Ok-_

_The following message includes anime-bashing. You have been warned._

_Anyway, first- Dante. YOU ARE A -beep-IN' WHO SHOULDN'T EVEN EXIST! D : SCREW YOU TO HELL! AND YOU CAN ROT AND BURN AND BAD THINGS IN THE FIREY FURY OF THE UNDERWORLD! DAMN YOU, DAMNIT, DAMN YOU! D : _

_Now, Envy- YOUR TRUE FORM AIN'T THAT PRETTY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GIANT_

_ICKY BLACK THING WITH THESE CREEPY HUMANOID THINGIES ON YOU THAT USED TO BE THE PEEPS OF XERXES!_

_-cough- I think that's all the-wait, no, one last thing- Roy, GOOD FOR YOU, you DIDN'T frickin' kill Winry's parents! SCAR DID, DAMNIT! D : _

_NOW that's all._

_Next- EdxWin is SO obvious. And I know the peeps know what it is, but I'm just gonna rub it into their faces. XD ZOMG ED LYK TOTALLY LOVES WINRY AND WINRY LYK TOTALLY LOVES HIM BACK! LOL! -sings the Ed and Winry sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G song- So don't even deny it. I read a story where you guys like, MADE OUT when you guys were like, 12!_

_And you, Roy, you're acting like a friggin' BASTARD. SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH! I don't HATE you, but you absolutely SUCK compared the awesome-ness of ED! And Ed is like, WAY taller than me, you friggin' GIANT! YOU SUCK AND I WOULD KNEE YOU WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE AND PEPPER-SPRAY YOU IN YA UGLY FACE IF YOU GOT WITHIN 50 FRICKIN' SQUARE YARDS OF ME! Ya stupid cocky, "playboy" bastard..._

_-totally contradicts what she said about not hating Roy-_

_And what is WRONG with you peeps, milk tastes TERRIBLE!_

_NO, NOT THE EVIL WHITE GUYS OF EVIL!_

_-gets taken away-_

_-screaming-_

_I'LL BE BACK!_

September Rhyme 

**Dante: If you hate me so much, why are you talking to me? You do realize that I could kill you if I wanted to, right? In fact…**

**Envy: I never SAID it was supposed to be pretty!!! It's supposed to be scary!! That's why I chose this form to go around in for most of the time!**

**Roy: Yes! Good for me!**

**Ed & Winry: W-what!? What are you talking about!!??!**

**Ed: A-and anyway, that was just a FANFIC. That doesn't mean that it happened!**

**Al: Well actually…**

**Winry: Al! Shh!**

**Al: Heh…sorry.**

**Roy: …You're very hypocritical, you know that? And possibly slightly insane.**

_I am not crazy!! And Hoshi is my friend...So you're mean, you can't even like send me a card or something...? Oh and about the boy problem...Al, they don't like me, I'm pretty sure of that! They are like gay or something...So yeah, moving away from the table is a good idea, I shall try. And another question for Ed and Al I guess._

_Can Hoshi and I marry your great grandson that looks exactly like Ed and the one identical to Al, please! And, do they look hot in leather? PLEASE SAY YES! It would mean a lot to us. Oh, and could you send us a picture of you in the chains in leather but instead of in a box, in a cage, or headboard?_

_And, I don't remember you and Al hugging...I must watch the movie again now, ciao!_

_HanaNoHaru_

**Ed: No…we can't send you a card…because we don't know where you live. And it's not a good idea to give your address out on the internet, anyway.**

**Al: Well, good luck, then!**

**Ed & Al: Yes to the first question (just wait until they're older, and only if they agree to it), and no to the second.**

**Ed: Oh it's in there. Just watch.**

_Hallo, all peoples who I torment whenever I find the time!_

_Sorry about being so graphic last time I sent something in, but I needed to get that off my chest. Now onto happier subjects! My sister's dog had five puppies and they're all healthy! However, school has started and I'm tired as can be. Yes, I've tried going to bed as much as three hours earlier, but I'm still tired the next day. Thoughts?_

_Envy: ((glompage)) You didn't think I'd forget you, did you?! I WANNA BLANKET, SO CROCHET ME ONE, KNAVE!_

_Heh-heh, sorry, had to do that._

_Anyhow, yush, things are going great so far._

_Neassa-chan_

BakaKonekoRKL: Oh, no, it's fine, I understand. It's just that, you know, I like to stay conscious. (bad joke? Sigh…I fail at life)

**Al: Oh, that's great!**

**Ed: Well don't just go to bed three hours early right away. Ease yourself into it. That should probably help you be more awake…I think. But besides that, do you do any sports or anything? That could make you more tired…also if you eat a lot, especially sugary food and especially if you eat right before you go to bed. I'm not telling you to go anorexic or anything, but there are some foods that can keep you up. There are others that can give you a sugar rush, and once it's over, you'll be tired for the rest of the day.**

**Envy: Damn! Just when I thought that I was rid of you! Hmm, how do I say this? Hmm, NO.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Haha…I was beginning to miss that : )**

_Hey I have some questions/advice to ask. I don't mind if they take a while to put up. I don't mind if they don't want to have them put up. Really, I don't._

_-_

_Ed:_

_1. Why the hell do you exaggerate so much when people call you short? I mean it's not like they're insulting your intelligence. Also, There is a kid in my class WAY shorter than you. If it makes you feel better._

_2. When people say you're short, just say something like: "I'm not short. You guys are just too tall." (Lol my bff says that a lot. And she's not short...) Or something like that._

_3. I hate milk too! I don't drink it. Only when my mom forces me to. But I still got tall somehow...Maybe it's cause I'm from a tall family..._

_Roy:_

_1. TREE KILLER! TREE KILLER! ALL THAT PAPER YOU WASTE BY NOT DOING YOUR PAPERWORK (MOST LIKELY BURNING IT!) IS A WASTE. TREES WERE USED TO MAKE THOSE PAPERS! RESPECT THE TREES! THEY'RE THE ONLY REASON YOU HAVE BREATHABLE OXYGEN! SO JUST DO YOUR DAMN PAPER WORK AND STOP WASTING TREES!!_

_2. Why the hell do you keep stealing Havoc's girls? I mean for god sakes, just go to a spot where Havoc doesn't go to pick up girls or get him to tell him the girls he has a crush on so you don't go stealing them by accident! _

_3. Why are you such a slacker? Do you WANT to get fired by not doing your work? Good Furhers DO THEIR PAPER WORK._

_4. In my school, there is a guy who is Hotter than you! So there! Beat that! HA!_

_5. Why do you pick on Ed for being short? What if someone went up to you and said: " You're ugly and old?" -coughMecough_

_6. Sorry I have to say this. You're old. _

_7. How do you get so many girls to like you? (My bro asks that one. He needs a girl. Just before you get the wrong idea, I AM A GIRL.)_

_Al:_

_1. There is nothing bad about you. You're pretty awesome. But I feel bad that Ed won't get you a kitty though. But he has a good point. If it gets killed in battle by accident, than your just going to feel bad about it after it's over. Why don't you just save some of your money, cause after the movie you go to the other side of the gate right? Than with every penny you save, you can use the money to take care of a kitten and it's needs so that way Ed can't use the excuse: " We don't have the money to take care of it!" and than you can say: "Nu-uh! I got lots of money here to take care of it brother!" and that will hopefully shut his mouth for a while._

_Riza:_

_1. You're my second favorite character! _

_2. KEEP ON SHOOTING ROY! IT'S COOL WHEN A GIRL HAS ALL THE POWER! ...I'm not weird. I'm just special._

_3. How do you stay so calm in a sticky situation?_

_4. How have you managed not to shoot Roy?_

_Hughes:_

_1. Why do you keep shoving pictures of Elysia in people's faces? I mean I know you proud and all, but it may start to annoy Roy so much he may burn the picture...And I don't want that to happen! 'Cause Elysia is so cute! (Seriously. I'm not saying that to be nice. I really mean it.)_

_2. Stop telling Roy to get a wife. He may crack and plot to murder you one day out of annoyance._

_3. You're my first favorite character!_

_Envy:_

_1. First of all, GET SOME THERAPY. AND SOME ANGER MANAGMENT CLASSES. TRUST ME, YOU NEED IT._

_2. Why do you pick on Ed so much? I mean, it's not his fault Hohenheim liked him more than you. _

_3. Why do you wear a skort? It's a girl thing. It makes you look like a Cross-Dressing Palm Tree. (I did not copy that from anyone. My cousin says it all the time about Envy and she lets me say it about him.) Cut the skirt part and it'll be shorts. -Gets a mental image of what it'll look like -shudders- ...On second thought, keep the skirt part... _

_Sloth:_

_1. I really don't have anything to say. You're pretty cool. I just don't like the part where you tried to kill Al and Ed saying, "No mother can kill her sons". Is it their fault that they loved you so much that they couldn't take the fact you were dead, thus trying to resurrect you? No. It isn't._

_Wrath:_

_1. SLOTH ISN'T YOUR MOTHER. IZUMI IS. DEAL WITH IT._

_2. Can you hurt Envy for me for killing Hughes?_

_3. Get some anger management classes._

_Pride:_

_1. You're a jerky bastard who killed his own son cause he brought you your remains not knowing it would harm you. Do you think he did it on purpose? No! How the hell was he supposed to it would hurt you?! Do you think he would have brought it to you if he knew it would?! _

_2. Are Homunculi even able to have kids?_

_Greed: _

_1. YOU'RE AWESOME! AWESOME! I REPEAT, AWESOME! You may have been greedy, but you and Lust were probably the nicest of the Homunculi._

_2. Why did you let Edward kill you? Why didn't you just tell him Dante jumped bodies? It would have probably saved you._

_Dante:_

_1. YOU EVIL -CENSOR-! WHY DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYONE HAS TO DIE AT SOME POINT?! LIVING FOR 4 CENTURIES IS BAD! UNHEALTHY! UNCLEAN! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL! (IF YOU EVEN HAVE ONE!)_

_2. Did Gluttony eat you in the last episode? _

_3. You deserved to die if you did get eaten._

_Lust: _

_1. Do you have feelings for Scar?_

_2. Is Dante annoying?_

_Winry:_

_1. We all know you and Ed like each other. Just admit it already._

_2. How many wrenches do you have?_

_Fuery:_

_Ya know, you're probably the nicest military member. And sweetest._

_Havoc:_

_Don't tell Roy when you get a new girl ok? Don't introduce her to him. Hell, just don't bring her to central quarters. EVER._

_Breda: _

_Why the hell are you afraid of dogs? They're not that bad you know._

_And I also have wanted to say this to Ed for a long time. Since I saw his reaction to being called short. I apologize for it. My feeling is starting to take over now... Oh god no... EDWARD YOU'RE AN 18 YEAR OLD BUT YOUR STILL THE SHORTEST PERSON THAT THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS HAS EVER HAD IN HISTORY! (not really) YOU'RE SO SHORT THAT YOU'RE SMALLER THAN AN ANT AND NEEDS A MAGNIFYING GLASS TO SEE! SO THERE! HAH!_

_DAMN! STUPID FEELINGS! I SHALL NEVER LET YOU DO THAT AGAIN!_

_Well I'm off to do my homework now. I shall be back!_

_-Darkangel24700_

_P.S. Sorry to the authoress about the long letter. I apologize. I don't mind if you decide not to put it up cause it's long. Also, if someone else did the "Edward, you're so short" thing, I apologize, I stopped reading the advice column at chapter 7 cause my damn feelings were taking over again and I wanted to write this letter._

BakaKonekoRKL: Aw, it's alright : ) At least you care about my lack of sleep lmao. Just kidding. Don't worry, everything's alright; I decided to take this upon myself to do, so I have to deal with everything. And while your letter may be long, it wasn't pointless. So don't worry : )

Ed: Yeah, I know. But I don't exaggerate!!!

Al: Um…yes you do.

Ed: Whose side are you on? Anyway. Thanks, that's a phrase I use sometimes. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO ME!?!? Damn milk…

Roy: Who says I don't recycle? True, I do burn some paperwork, but only the ones that really piss me off. The rest I recycle, so calm down. Hey, I don't steal them on purpose, alright? …To tell the truth, most of the time I don't even know that they're dating him, alright? I don't slack off that much!!! …Just sometimes…when I have paperwork to do…I'll bet he's not. It's easy to pick on him, that's why. I mean, he gets so mad! Me, I'd just ignore them. To get girls, you usually have to be good looking, but for some, all it takes is to be kind, funny, caring and "sweet", as they say.

Al: Thank you! …Yes, yes, I know, I know…Yeah, I was planning on doing that : )

Riza: Thank you. Well, actually, I don't actually shoot him, I just threaten to when he's not working or something to…motivate him. I stay calm by not letting what's going on affect me, and even if it does, I try not to show it. It's probably really hard to do; I've been doing it since I was young, so it's easy for me now. And I don't shoot the Colonel because I stay calm…I guess.

Hughes: Aww, thanks! …Roy…you wouldn't do that…right?

Roy: I dunno, Hughes, I mean, it does get on my nerves sometimes…

Hughes: …Well, I guess the copy machine in the staff room will be getting a lot of use from now on!

Roy: …

Hughes: Hmm…Maybe I could send memos out to people…

Roy: (head/desk)

Hughes: Oh, anyway, thanks!

Envy: NO I DON'T. SO SHUT UP. AND HOW DARE YOU BRING UP THAT BASTARD!? I HATE HIM!!! I HATE HIM AND HIS DAMN CHILDREN!!! AND GODDAMN IT, IT ISN'T A SKORT SO SHUT UP!!

Sloth: Thanks. It kind of is their fault, though.

Wrath: I KNOW. THANKS FOR THE UPDATE. Uhm, I guess. And no.

Pride: So what? He caused my death. Anyway, it's not like I even liked the kid. Yes, many people wonder that, but you'll know if you read the manga; he was adopted.

Greed: Heh heh, thank you…but…"nice"? Well, that may be, but I'd rather die at his hands than those of that bitch Dante.

Dante: Screw you. I really don't care what you think, because I can make you into a Philosopher's Stone if I want. As for your second question…yes.

Lust: …Homunculi aren't supposed to have feelings. But I would if I were human. Yes she is…very much so.

Winry: Eheh heh…I have a lot of wrenches, um all different sizes…around twenty.

Fuery: Aww…thanks!

Havoc: I usually don't…

Breda: Yeah, I know…but they just scare me! Come on, everyone has some kind of irrational fear!

Ed: WHAT!? WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PINT-SIZED MIDGET SO SMALL HE CAN'T EVEN BE COMPARED TO THE SIZE OF AN ANT BECAUSE HE'S SO SMALL!?!? …Ahem. Right.

_BakaKonekoRKL: Alrighty I'll get right on that! -heads to your profile-_

_Barry: ... what's wrong? Run out of the killing spirit?_

_Envy: What's wrong with me?! What's wrong with you!! -laughs- sorry…had to do that…anyway... I know you can but... where did all that hair gel go after you did that? -hugs him really quick, then backs off- Love you Envy-kun!_

_Wrath: -while he's enjoying giant cookie, puts hand on his shoulder- Wrath, it's not your fault... (from Family Guy people!)_

_Shoushin_

BakaKonekoRKL: Eheh heh…funny story about that…I don't think that I can send e-mail…I mean it worked with sweetkittens, but I sent you a reply and you never answered…so I'm assuming that you never got it. I'll try to work on getting my Yahoo IM stuff working, though…sigh…that could take a while…

Barry the Chopper: O-of course not! Never!

Envy: …No, seriously. What the hell is WRONG with you!? Who CARES what happened with the hair gel!? …GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!

Wrath: Huh? …You're kinda scary, you know that?

_More questions and comments from me._

_Heiderich-My sis had a dream where you drowned and Ed and Al were right there and were just talking and didn't care, but I had a dream where I got a FMA manga, and in the few front pages, it was of Ed and Al sneaking around and stuff and trying not to be seen, but you were like, on the roof waving and screaming their names, trying to get their attention, which do you like more?_

_Envy- Can you do alchemy, cause in the second episode, you were disguised as the priest, Cornello, and you made all the birds fly up that were dead, but then they exploded, but ya, how'd ya do that?_

_Ed- Did you feel bad at all for Wrath when you killed Sloth?_

_Al-I'm sick again, but I wanna go to school tomorrow weird, huh But we're having art class for 2 hours, and it's my fave class, and I get to hang out with my best friend the entire time, but I don't feel good TT_

_**Moofy-Fan**_

Heiderich: Um…yours…since I didn't die.

Envy: Nope. That was the power of the fake Philosopher's Stone.

Ed: I wasn't exactly thinking of that at the time. But no, I don't think so.

Al: Well…just go until that class, and then go home early.

_Al: -smiles- I figured as much. _

_Ed & Al, cause he'd probably be interested: Warriors are about cats that protect their clans and stuff. I made Edo be Metalclaw, Al's was Moonstripe, and Winry's was Solarheart. _

_Roy: -glomps- Question, is there a tattoo on Riza's back that helps you with alchemy, or is that a myth? I've been reading the manga (Looking to get vols._

_9 and 10 right now) and I haven't come across it._

_Ed: -waves wand- Here, you now have the ability to avoid people causing you bodily harm for three chapters. (If it's alright with the authoress) You've been getting beat up a lot lately..._

_Also, what would you do if you met a smexy vampire with your name?_

_-huggles_

_Edward Cullen who is looking at her like: WTF?-_

_Scar: My sister says your name was Al, but I think she's nuts. It wasn't Al was it?_

_To the sister: YAY WARRIORS FAN! BUT TWILIGHT ROCKS MORE!_

_-Onna-san, over and out_

Ed: What the hell?

Al: Yay, kitties!!

Roy: Well…there's a tattoo on her back. You can see it at the end of volume 14.

Ed: Yes!

BakaKonekoRKL: Um…let's just say for one chapter…since I'll probably forget anyway lol. But that's nice of you : )

Ed: But not of you! I'm gonna leave your closet if you keep being so mean to me!

BakaKonekoRKL: Fine. I've still got Haji and the Hitachiins.

Ed: …Otaku…Um, well, I don't know…run away so he wouldn't suck my blood?

Scar: No, it wasn't.

BakaKonekoRKL's sister: …You mean the Warrior's book Twilight?

BakaKonekoRKL: (gasp) Omg I know that series!! People say it's good, but it doesn't sound as good as they say…Though for some reason, I thought of Millennium Snow when I read the description.

_I'm back. Shi is too. I also brought my little brother Revo...hope you don't mind the crowd. They leech off my high-speed laptop...it's a crime._

_Okay, here are the siblings._

_SHI'S STUFF._

_Riza: Do you like any sports?_

_Edward: Michael Jackson is this dude who sold jillions of records in his prime, but somehow he turned from a black guy to a white guy, went crazy, got half his nose chopped off trying to make it look better, and...well, anyway, no you're not psycho (thank God)._

_Alphonse: Do you ever rust?_

_Roy: Hmm...nah. (puts the glove on, snaps, and sets the immediate area on fire)_

_Lust: You're welcome. Is green your favorite color? Since that's the color of your dress...and also, what are those red circle things on your shoulder for?_

_REVO'S STUFF._

_Hi everyone!_

_ED: DUDE! All my friends at school call me Edward because I'm blond and short...I've gotten into fights about it and got suspended...how do I resolve this peacefully?!_

_ENVY: DUDE! (waves arms wildly) What color is your hair? Black, purple, or green? WHICH IS IT REALLY?_

_ROY: DUDE! Why're you such a jackarse?_

_SLOTH: Du...well, you're a girl. Your dress is pretty long, don't you ever trip?_

_WINRY: D--um, GIRL! Don't you ever get tired of being so violent towards a certain midget?_

_ARMSTRONG: DUDE! How'd you get so ripped?_

_HAVOC: DUDE! Heard you got dumped!_

_That's all. Peace out!_

_ZILO'S THINGS._

_To Authoress: Really? I'm a grammar nut, so it means a lot that you think so. (smiles happily) (about LJ) I shall! And I shall check out the pics/vids. Are you in them? Which one are you?_

_To Pride: ...That is so cool. Like, X-ray vision or whatever. Random question: if your wife had come barging in on the you vs. Mustang fight with the skull, instead of your son, would you have killed her too?_

_To Wrath: Well, yeah, but I still liked her, you know? Plus, I was already mad at you for something. I just don't remember what._

_To Envy: Neat. So...what IS a chocolate parfait?_

_To Ed: WTF?! (smacks him on the back of the head) I didn't dream about crabs, you idiot!_

_To Winry: Wow. Really? That's pretty interesting. I didn't know dreams were all complicated like that._

_Anyway, that's all for now. Don't EVER sleep with your window open, otherwise you'll wake up with a dead roach on your face...I'm still spooked by it._

_--Zilo's Blue Pen (and Shi and Revo)_

Riza: No, none in particular that I can think of. I do like swimming, though, in the summer.

Ed: Yeah…that sounds nothing like me.

Al: No, but if I go in the water like when we were at Yock Island and I don't dry off properly, I could.

Roy: (gets out of the area) Damn it, just give me my gloves back!!!

Lust: I like green…really my dress is more like black with a green sheen. The "red things" are supposed to amplify my power.

Ed: Just stay calm and don't let it bother you. Just ignore them. And if they're your friends, I'm sure you could just tell them to stop, right?

Envy: Does it LOOK purple? It's black with a green shine to it.

Roy: …I'm not!

Sloth: It's just as long as Lust's. Neither of us have ever tripped.

Winry: Hey, it's his own fault.

Armstrong: THIS BODY BUILD HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY LINE FOR GENERATIONS!!! Though most people have to work out a lot for a body like mine.

Havoc: … (sniffles)

BakaKonekoRKL: I'm glad : ) I'm in most of them, and I tell you in the entry where I am and stuff. But you might have to search a little bit, since I've made like 20 entries since then lol. Yes…I post a lot…since I have no life…So friend me : )

Pride: I guess. Yes, I would have.

Wrath: …Well if you can't remember, then it must not have been very important, right?

Envy: …Well, it's like an alternative frozen dessert to ice cream.

Ed: I was just making a connection!

Winry: Well, yeah. If you believe in that. Sometimes I look up what my dreams mean, if they're really weird or something. Oh, and…ew.

_Thanks so much. How tall are you Ed? Gives Scar, Envy, Roy and Winry a measuring scale Let's see who will get the height first. Not that I'm calling Ed short since I'm shorter than him. I'll only call myself short too. Just don't whack Ed with the scale. I borrowed it from my school. You can whack him with this lampshade though._

_Midnight Hikari_

Ed: Wha- Ah!! No!! (begins running)

Winry: Get back here!! (chases Ed)

Scar: …(blows up his measuring scale and walks away)

Envy: (hits Ed with the lamp shade)

Roy: Buhahaha…

Al: Um…if you really wanna know brother's height, it's about 5 feet, 4 inches…

_Has every one completely forgotten the manga chars?_

_Envy-you are Van's grandson and Ed's nephew_

_Anime Pride- you are Wrath, the only homunculus with a heart_

_Anime Wrath- you don't exist, and stop acting like a spoiled brat_

_Anime Sloth- how do you feel knowing that your original is a Neanderthal?_

_Roy-don't feel bad about Winry's parents, Scar killed them : 3_

_Ed... I'm as tall as you and am not short... _

_Al- did you ever think Ed's allergic to cats?_

_Homunculi, why on earth do you listen to that deteriorating old woman when you could easily just kill her; she's just using you._

_**mittin mckitten**_

Envy: Why do you have to mention that bastard!? I already know, so don't remind me!!

Pride: …I know.

Wrath: What do you _mean _I don't exist!? I'm right here!!!! Shut up, shut up, shut up!!!!!!

Sloth: Well…it's not very flattering, I can tell you that.

Roy: Well…I guess that makes me feel a little better…

Ed: Right. NOT short.

Al: No, I know he's not. He's played with cats and kittens all the time when we were little, and he's always liked them.

Lust: Which is why I betrayed her.

Envy: Yeah, but…she gives us red stones.

_Hi, FMA people! It's my first time writing this stuff! Yay me!_

_Ok, To the Questions!_

_Edward: YOU'RE NOT SHORT! Actually, you're 1" taller then me. (I actually think every one else is freakishly tall) and your hair is awesome! How do you get it so cool?_

_Alphonse: You're awesome too! (Gives a cat book) Here's a present!_

_Winry & Hawkeye: You go girls! Most girls in stuff like this are all wimpy but not you!_

_Envy: Believe it or not, I'm probably the only person who likes you in the FMA fan club. Your hair is awesome, much better than Ed's. And people shouldn't make fun of your form, it's what you like and they should just be quiet! Where did you get your head band? I want one!_

_Wrath: how old are you and how do you feel about having to live with Envy and every one else? _

_Dante: I don't care what other people say, you are AWESOME! Of course I plot world domination on the weekend..._

_Roy: Flames are AWESOME! My dad is a fire fighter so naturally I'm a pyromaniac. ALL HAIL THE GREAT ROY MUSTANG, THE FLAME ALCHIMIST!_

_I'll be back guys (gives every one gift basket)_

_Marie blaze _

_Alchemist and charmer_

Ed: Hahaha…Thanks…Well, I don't do anything to it, to tell you the truth…I just tie it in a loose braid and the rest is natural.

Al: Thanks! Yay, kitties!!!

Winry & Riza: Thanks: )

Envy: Hm…I kinda like you. So I'll tell you. I don't know where I got this headband, as I've had it for hundreds of years, but you can find them on that place you call "e-bay"

Wrath: Oh, I'm pretty young, even in human years. I'm only about 13 years old. It's fine living with everyone; we always have lots of fun : )

Dante: You know, I like this kid too.

Roy: Well, well. It feels nice to be appreciated…

_lol well thanks for getting back to me about that, I can kinda understand...and you're an Elricest fan? Wow, I had no idea ...if I had to pick any yaoi pair it would prolly be ...Roy/Ed the fluff kind. (sorry, Ed, don't take any offence to that, I still love you). Also what gave you the idea to do this?_

_FMA characters: did you agree to do this or did the author here kidnap you guys? (sorry, I know, absurd question ...sorry) thanks! 3_

_ed'sgirl10310 (p.s. the 10310 stands for the date in Ed's watch in case you were wondering but I'm pretty sure you weren't)_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Heh heh…well, the first yaoi fic I read was RoyxEd (by accident, no less lol), but I wanted to try something different after I realized how magnificent yaoi was. So yeah. Ah, using the soft side of the paddle, I see? I'm gonna get a Seme/Uke paddle this weekend (cuz it'll help with my cosplay lol) and then at AnimeNEXT next year I may get a Yaoi paddle…Anyway, I say a Fruits Basket Advice Column, asked if I could do one for FMA, and devoted myself to doing it! Lol**

**FMA Characters: We were forced into it (obviously).**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Shut up you…oh, and that's cool about your name : )**

**Ed: You're taking over the advice column again.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: …Ah, crap.**

_Dear Characters of Full Metal Alchemist,_

_For the Elrics, Scar, and anyone else who is fighting on more than a physical level with morals and philosophy:_

_1. Have you ever seen the series "Gundam Wing"? It's really good and it's message complements that of Full Metal Alchemist._

_For;_

_Ed: My friends tell me I'm a lot like you; I'm not the tallest person, I have long-ish blond hair, am strong, and am often referred to as a monkey because of my agility and reflexes. _

_Though I'm not even close to being as 'hot' as you. I am merely saying that as an observation because I'm pretty smart, especially in science and math, and very, very analytical and cynical. Also I'm a GUY!_

_And my eyes are a really light hazel, so correct me if I'm wrong but even though your eyes are yellow is that an anime version of bright hazel or is it another impossible anime thing?_

_Also my brother and I have a similar relationships to you and Al, although we've never tested it by trying to bring back a dead person (we're a little more realistic, not smarter just more literal)_

_You're pretty much the coolest character on the show. If I had to choose to be any anime character it would be you or Heero Yuy from Gundam Wing (who is a lot like you in many ways, some more subtle than others)._

_Al: You and Ed are like me and my brother, like Ying and Yang. Just not the same role wise. Also your armor looks awesome, and I think its cool you dressed like your brother to remember him, but it still looks better on Ed, no offense. I also think that your fighting style is incredible and I kinda took some ideas from it._

_Winry: You're an awesome female character, and though I really sympathize with your anger, I don't think hitting Ed with a wrench is going to keep him from being hurt. Also learning basic alchemy would really help your automail skills, and if you really didn't want Ed using the arm for alchemy why did you give it a big thick plate of extra metal on the outer forearm? Also you and Ed look good together._

_Roy: Dude, quit picking on Ed. No one wants a leader who messes with his lower ranks. You're a good person at heart but you do have a god complex that needs to be worked on. Though you may be a womanizer you are not cooler than Ed. Period. That's why the show is not called the Flame Alchemist._

_Riza and Izumi: You guys need to start hanging out. You are like twins and even though Riza is in the military, Izumi you shouldn't hold it against her. You guys can teach each other your fighting style and kick some serious $$._

_Hohenheim: You. Are. AWESOME. Period. It wasn't cool leaving Ed and Al, but you had reasons. You need to talk more in this column though. And you shouldn't have been distracted by Sloth._

_Dante: How does it feel knowing your character was actually based off of an ancient MALE alchemist?_

_Greed: You really were cruel, but you care for your group so you were not that greedy were you?_

_Envy: You play dirty, like when you killed Ed, but you're still really cool. You and Greed are pretty much the only cool evil people in this show. I was starting to feel offended before you guys showed up. They were misrepresenting me!_

_Hughes: Death does not suit you man, as cool and smart as you are you should have known not to turn your back on your enemy. He freakin transformed! You should have realized it wouldn't be so easy to kill Envy! But you're still AWESOME! Way cooler than Roy._

_Ed, Al, and Hohenheim: You should have looked harder for alchemy in our world. You wouldn't have found the simple alchemy you have, but there is the spiritual philosophical kind here that could have opened the Gate. I've studied it._

_-Paul (The Wing Zero Alchemist)_

**All: Nope. We don't exactly have television here.**

**Ed: What do you mean, "not the tallest person"!? But thanks for the rest of it. My eyes are more of a "light gold", but I guess that's like light hazel. That's cool, but yeah, don't try bringing people back from the dead. Thanks again!**

**Al: That's really cool that you and your brother have such a close bond like us! Thanks, and don't worry, I know what you mean.**

**Winry: Thanks : ) Well, I get where you're coming from, but you have to understand how frustrated I get with him sometimes. I think it would be really interesting to learn some basic alchemy, but unfortunately, I just don't have the time. Well, it wasn't INTENDED for that use; it's really just part of the design for that particular automail and it gives it some extra protection. Uhm…thanks…but we're not together…just yet…um…**

**Roy: Well, I see your point…But don't think that means that I'm going to stop teasing Ed.**

**Riza: Of course I'd be up to it. But it would have to be on one of my days off.**

**Izumi: …Maybe. Ed is part of the military, too, so perhaps there are a few people in there who aren't all bad…**

**Hohenheim: Thank you. Well, I'm not all that proud of many things I've done myself. I'd talk more if people would write in to me more…but most people hate me, so they don't. I can understand that, though.**

**Dante: As long as he was powerful, I don't mind too much.**

**Greed: Well, when you think of it like that, I guess not…**

**Envy: Ha, thanks. I think I like this guy, too.**

**Hughes: Yeah, tell me about it. Well, I wasn't entirely sure of what was going on at the time; I didn't know the full capabilities of his powers.**

**Ed: Are you kidding me!? Damn!!**

**Al: Well, we could still try it now…I guess…**

_Watz up Peeps! Ok first question for Tucker._

_What the hell is wrong with you? Do you have a sore throat or something or are you just shy?_

_Anyways talk where I can friggin here you!_

_To Roy (shows him picture of me in a miniskirt) There now stop being a rapist._

_P.S. You rock you sexy beast you!_

_ED!_

_You rock. Nothing more to say_

_AL!_

_Cats rock. Nothing more to say, except this. Do you want to hold my kitty Joseph? He's super soft and furry!_

_Wrath: You're the best homunculus EVER!_

_Eveyone else: HI!_

_Bye (for now)_

_P.s. No I don't take medication. (I wish -sighs-)_

_BYE!_

_SasaIsASexyDemoness_

**Tucker: Well, it's just hard for me to talk with my body all twisted around and my head upside down.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: We disproved that at the FMA Panel at MangaNEXT '06. And we'll prove it again this Friday at 9.**

**Tucker: …We'll see about that.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: You're on.**

**Roy: I'm not a rapist. If I was, I'd be in jail, not working for the military. Rapists are horrible, dirty people who should be locked up for life, and I'm not one of them. But thanks for the picture.**

**Ed: Thanks!**

**Al: Yay! Okey : 3 Hello, kitty, kitty, kitty! Aww, you're so cute!!**

**Wrath: Thanks.**

**Everyone: Hi!**

**Ed: Are you sure about that?**

_**Whew!! That took me a few days to do! Sorry to the people who wrote in the last three questions, BUT THEY WILL BE THE FIRST THREE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, as per usual. I may or may not be able to update again this week; probably not, since tomorrow I have Tae-Kwon-Do training of death for several hours, Wednesday I might, depending on my homework and when my sister has soccer, Thursday I can't since all I'll have time to do between TKD and my sister's soccer is homework, and Friday after school through Sunday we'll be at MangaNEXT…If you're coming to MangaNEXT, please let me know in your review if you review before Friday! It'd be fun to meet up : ) lol. And I may or may not be giving out cake, depending on if it's legal or not lol. Anyway, see you next time!! (Note: This was NINETEEN pages typed…0o )**_


	65. Chapter 65

Whoops! Sorry for the long wait, everyone!! There's just been a lot of doctor's visits (see my fanfic "Needles"), MangaNEXT and homework galore! Well, MangaNEXT was the most fun I've had in my entire life, and if you wanna read about it and see pictures, just go to my LiveJournal, edokunslover . With that being said, even if you do not wanna read my LJ, at least YouTube "MangaNEXT 2007 Gay Bar", because I was in that skit and it was amazing!!! So if nothing else, PLEASE check it out!!!

_Man, do I have a lot of catching up to do. Oh well, my sister's gonna talk first, she says short things._

_Sophia: HAVOC! You're so cute!! But my cousin says your eyes are so much different than everyone else's... I never noticed that._

_To Ed: Don't go in my sisters room! She'll jump you! (Emily: She lies a lot and she broke the backspace button. I have to be WAY more careful with typing now.)_

_My stuff: Okay for those of you that forgot...-flashback-_

_"To Al: Here's a kitty! -gives dead kitten- Don't worry! I gutted it, cleaned it then stuffed it!" Then you said, "Al: Ahh o ahh ee..." Or something like that, then Ed said, "Ed: That's just mean. And could you get off of me?" And then I had a different review and said, "No, NO! and No, it isn't. To Al: Sorry for scaring you like that. Gomen-bows-. Okay that was a lot, but there's still MORE!_

_To Wrath: Um sure...--" But remember, you're in the actually candy room now! I forgot a few other fireworks but who cares! -locks door- O.O Oh no...-bangs on door- I locked you in there! Someone help me get him out!_

_Signed, Emily and Sophia, also known as Gothic Fangirl_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Yea…me too D :**

**Havoc: Thanks! Um…I do? I hope that's a good thing.**

**Ed: Yea, I kinda figured that. Also, why don't you just use the delete button?**

**Al: That's alright. Thanks for apologizing : )**

**Wrath: You…locked me in here!? I'M GONNA KILL YOU WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE!! YOU ARE SO DEAD!! Oooh, chocolate…**

_Once again, I am back!_

_Envy: -speaks sarcastically- Oh wow...What an amazing comeback. How long did it take you to think that one up?_

_Barry: I see...Well let's hope you don't then._

_Slicer Brothers: I think I'm the first to talk to you guys. Do you have any preferences on who it is you kill like Barry (considering he tends to only take a job if a girl is involved)? If not, I would like to recruit you for a little killing if you're up for it._

_Ed: -stretches out a bit- Let's go then, little man!_

_Wrath: Ok...I think you've had enough now...You keep that up, there won't be any left for me!_

_Winry: I've been kinda curious...What do you actually use to make your automail? Iron, Nickel, some special alloy? I mean, it has to be pretty strong to not break or bend with the way Ed throws it around all the time._

_Hughes: I'm going to visit my fiance in October and there's going to be an Anime Convention there. She suggested cosplaying as you. (I wear glasses so we were trying to think of some good people for me to cosplay as that wear glasses.) Do you think you could send me some good pictures of Elysia to show off? Are there any tips I could use to help me stay in character as you?_

_Winry/Riza: As you may have noticed in Hughes' question...I said "fiance." Yes...I am engaged now. You may think that's pretty quick considering it hasn't been all that long since I sent in my question...but there's more to the story than what I told you before. But I still thank you for your help considering I'm engaged to her now!_

_BakakonekoRKL: Hmm...The questions are spaced well now...How odd, I wonder what helped it to be spaced this time...Oh well, it helps. Hehe. If you'd like to know the whole story behind what I mentioned to Winry/Riza, feel free to ask me on AIM._

_-kicks Envy and Ed in the shin-_

_Ahh...That felt good. Hehe._

_Well that's all for now. So until next time!_

_Prince-Marth85_

**Envy: SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP, WILL YOU?**

**Slicer Brother: Yes, you're the first. We don't exactly have a preference, but we won't do it if we don't want to, like if it sounds too boring or something.**

**Ed: Yeah! **(A/N …you don't want to fight here…right? Let's take it outside : )lol)

**Wrath: Alright…**

**Winry: Well, it depends on the arm. Lately I've been able to make arms that are lighter and lighter, while some can be heavier based on what you want it to do, and some can withstand the coldness of the harshest winters…you get the idea? There are really so many that I can't name them all, but I do use steel and iron sometimes.**

**Hughes: Whoops! Hope we aren't too late! I've already sent you some copies of pictures to use…Just keep showing them off, bug any Roys about getting wives-**

**Roy: Hey!**

**Hughes: -and just stay happy!**

**Winry & Riza: Well, it's alright if you love her, and you're sure of yourself, but just make sure that you're not rushing into things, or you could be making the worst mistake of your life. You may want to wait a while before actually marrying her to make sure it'll all work out.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: …I'll just double space it, I guess lol. I would, but…you're never on aim lol. And anyway, my internet dies, on and off xP So maybe next time when we're both on.**

**Envy & Ed: OWW!! What the hell was that for!?!?**

_Yo, Envy, what kind of music would you listen to? I've always seen you as a raver sort, myself. I've got some good music if you need to hook up with some trance or techno. And to the Elric brothers: Ladies love country boys._

_; 3 _

_Captain Lupin Ferus _

_Pirate-Ninja Extraordinaire_

_The Shifting Wolf Alchemist_

_Dark Flame Shaman_

**Envy: I don't really listen to music that much…but I do sometimes listen to rock and rave music.**

**Ed: …No they don't. Well, most of them don't.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Yea. Well, I don't lol. And no other girls I know do.**

_HALLOS!_

_Mynah, I've tried exercise (still am), I have a trampoline that I spend a lot of time on, DDR too. And no sugar before bed, but lately the insomnia's been getting worse, I haven't been able to sleep for about three days. It sucks. ((tear))_

_Also, I have another problem, yay._

_My best friend moved schools and, even though we still talk, I'm afraid she'll forget about me, because I had an ex-best friend who went to that school and forgot about me, so I'm worried. But whenever I talk about possibly going to that school next year, she gets all excited, so maybe I'm overreacting. Ideas?_

_Envy: You know you love me. Crochet me a blanket, KNAVE!_

_Neassa-chan_

**Ed: Well unfortunately, the best thing to do to tire you out is probably a lot of exercise (that's why I sleep so much). And even if you don't have any sugar before bed, try to drink less coffee. A lot less. If you don't drink any, that's great. If you do drink coffee, try tea instead. First of all, it's better for you, and secondly, it won't keep you from falling asleep, like coffee will. There are even teas that will help you fall asleep, so try looking for those and try drinking them a little while before you go to bed.**

**Winry: Well the best thing to try to do is to go to that school. I mean, you were already considering it, right? So if you decide to go, that'll probably solve the problem altogether and you won't have to worry about it. However, if you don't, you should try to talk with her as much as possible, especially on the phone (though if that's not possible, then go ahead and use test-messaging and instant messaging), and also try to get together with her as much as possible. See movies, go bowling, go shopping! As long as she doesn't disappear from your life, you should be fine.**

**Envy: If I loved you, wouldn't I have made you your stupid blanket by now?**

_Yay! Your ever-obsessed fan Raezek is writing to you, AGAIN!_

_Dear Wrath:_

_1: Sorry about your anger issues? Want a cookie?_

_Dear Envy: _

_1: Hmm... How about I throw in some red stones into the deal eh?_

_Dear Winry:_

_1: I still hate you!_

_2: Why don't you decide to learn alchemy? I mean, if you could combine alchemy with your automail capabilities, then you would be uber. Seriously._

_Dear Ed:_

_1: Aw! It's so funny to see the little baby think that he can retort back to me! Points Riza's gun at Ed's head. Now what are ya gonna do FullMetal!? Bwahahahahaha..._

_Dear Al:_

_1: No, your brother hates you. Accept it. _

_2: Barry the chopper is right. Your memories ARE artificial!_

_Dear Lust:_

_1: We all knew you were gonna die eventually in the anime, but why did you die in such a pathetic way? You could have at least of killed Dante before you died..._

_Dear Dante:_

_1: So Hohenheim didn't work out eh? Why don't you hook up with Father? He looks like Hohenheim, and he is just about as powerful as you!_

_Raezek_

**Wrath: Yeah, I want a cookie!!**

**Envy: …How many stones are we talking about here?**

**Winry: Yes…I know…Well, I don't exactly have time to be learning alchemy. I mean, not only do I make a lot of automail and also do maintenance, but I also keep looking for ways to improve my automail, so pretty much, it's a choice between being a mechanic or an alchemist.**

**Ed: Why you…**

**Riza: **(shoots hand, and takes gun back) **Did you ever have permission to touch that? I don't think so. Don't do it again or you'll regret it.**

**Ed: Uhh…thanks.**

**Al: No! You're wrong; you're lying, and I know it!**

**Lust: I may have been able to…but then, I may not have been able to. The only way to surely defeat her was to help the Elrics, and although I died in the process, so did she.**

**Dante: Because he's a manga-only character and I'm an anime-only one, therefore, there's no chance that we could ever even meet, never mind "hook up".**

_Hi, peepz. I'm kinda new at this so, meh._

_I just watched the movie, so I'm gonna ask questions to some people from the movie._

_Alfons Heiderich:_

_You're so cute! (not as cute as Ed...sorry!) Do you love Ed as a brother?_

_Gluttony:_

_...Did you eat Dante?_

_Ed:_

_(...stares at for hours...) You're sooo cute!_

_Schiezka:_

_Hi! You're my favorite character! I'm going to a con with a Schiezka outfit!_

_Winry:_

_I hate you._

_Envy:_

_Ha, you're voiced by a woman!_

_Roy:_

_I'm a pyro, so...YAY FLAMEY DOOM!_

_Alphonse Elric:_

_Have a kitten. It's name is Ryuu_

_Well, that's all for now_

_Namine.Yamaro_

**Alfons: Well, thanks! I see Ed as a really close friend…though it almost is like he's my family…**

**Gluttony: Mm-hmm, yup.**

**Ed: Um…thank you.**

**Sciezka: Thanks! That's so cool; I hope you have fun!**

**Winry: …**

**Envy: Yeah, so? Many guys are voiced by women!**

**Roy: Cool.**

**Al: Aww, thanks!**

**Ed: AL!!**

**Al: …Oh, come on, please?**

**Ed: No.**

**Al: But what if I-**

**Ed: I said no!**

**Al: …**

_Ed- you can always make it (the teddy) on your free time ;D_

_FMA military people- what if there was a day called "be a Fuhrer for the day"? What would you do as Fuhrer? ;D_

_Mustang- besides the miniskirt thing..._

_Hughes- I can imagine you that one rule is to have everyone in Amestris to have at least one picture of your cute and adorable daughter ;D lol_

_Ed and Al (maybe others too)- this is random, but what if on accident or something you switched bodies? I think that's all for now!_

_Ed- a little advice when people call you short: they're jealous of your good looks. They don't want to admit it so they call you short. (wink) If Envy calls you a pipsqueak, call him "Envy-chan the Palm-tree Princess" and for Roy, "Roy teme-hime" (hime princess)_

_Envy-CHAN- Hey PALM TREE PRINCESS! XD bwahahahaha_

_Armstrong- did you know your sister has the same name as me? o0_

_Ookami Bakura_

**Ed: Yeah, because I just have soooo much free time. Well, I'd probably take away some of the privileges given to Colonels.**

**Hughes: I'd make it mandatory for every officer to have a picture of my Elysia in their office! Though your idea isn't bad either…But I could get thrown out of office for that, I think…**

**Roy: **(A/N these were taken from an interview with Travis Willingham xD ) **Not including the one that you mentioned, I'd change the military symbol to a dog, and require everyone the size of a shrimp to drink two glasses of milk a day!**

**Ed: Why don't you shut up?**

**Roy: Why don't you make me? At least I have a chance of becoming Fuhrer!**

**Ed: We'd look for ways to get our bodies back to normal…pretty much like how we're doing now. And thanks for those ideas, but aren't **_**we **_**the ones who are supposed to be giving **_**you **_**advice?**

**Envy: That's it. The next person who calls me anything with the word "palm tree" in it will have their neck stabbed with a steak knife! **(A/N Dane Cook…)

**Armstrong: YOU'RE SO LUCKY TO SHARE THE SAME NAME AS HER!!!**

_Wow. We're the same height. Gosh you people must be tall! Anyway, this is to all the other characters other than Ed and Winry._

_DO YOU (people who are not Ed and Winry) think that Ed and Winry look cute together and why?_

_My friend that you gave advice about worked. Even though we're not friends anymore. He still calls me short dang it!_

_Thanks once again._

_Midnight Hikari_

_P.S That sounded like a death letter._

_P.S.S Scar! You owe my school a measuring scale:)_

**Al: I think they look cute together, just because I know them both so well and stuff.**

**Riza: I agree. Even though I don't see them too much, I can tell that they're similar and would be a good couple.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: At least it wasn't a Death **_**Note**_**:D**

**Scar: I don't think so.**

_Authoress! You're back. You were highly missed. (hugs) I hope you had a good time at MangaNEXT. I wish I was going, but they never seem to come close enough to home, and no one will buy me a plane ticket. HOWEVER, I am slowly working on making my own cosplay outfit. It's a mix of Ed and Al's. I call it the "Edphonse" outfit. (shrug) Anyway, the siblings first, then me._

_SHI'S STUFF._

_Riza: Swimming? Swimming is fun. I used to be on the diving team at my school, though I guess that's not really swimming, but you get in the water. Can I ask you for help? Since you've been so nice to me. There's this kid at my school who picks on me because I'm naturally skinny. He's always calling me an anorexic and throwing food at me. What do I do?_

_Ed: Yes...thank God. You're much saner. No plastic surgery for you._

_Al: Hmm, I see. And what would you do if that happened?_

_Roy: Why? Apparently these are the source of your power. You need to learn to defend yourself without them. You're like, on crack. (hands them to Envy)_

_Lust: I like green too. That's why I like Envy. Anyway, I didn't know that about the red things. Is that why when they had you tacked up on the wall by the red things, you couldn't get down? (Zilo: Even though I already TOLD her that's why...)_

_REVO'S STUFF._

_EDO: Pshh, yeah right! They're all punks. And I've got a short fuse! It'll be like, "Midget!" and then I'm all picking up some object and threatening to castrate them!_

_ENVY: Dude, no need to get all snippy, man! I've just seen a bunch of pictures with you with all three colors! And wasn't it black in the manga? Don't lie to me, bro!_

_ROY: ...Yeah you are!_

_SLOTH: For realz? It looked longer, but whatever!_

_WINRY: AH, but what if you cause him am-NEE-ZI-AH?! Then you'll get all teary! And teary babes are a pain!_

_ARMSTRONG: DUDE! THAT'S AWESOME! WHY COULDN'T I BE A MEMBER OF THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY? LIFE SUCKS!_

_HOHENHEIM: Wazzup mah dog, down in the sheezy fo heezy! Dap? (holds out fist)_

_ZILO'S THINGS._

_To Authoress: Ugh, I am trying to figure out livejournal, but so far it has beaten me. But I did see the videos of you and friends on the swings and the merry-go-round before I finally gave up._

_To Pride: Hmm, so you're not a selective murderer, I see._

_To Wrath: Um...I guess. Or it might be because my little brother chose that moment to dive over the sofa and fall on my head. I don't know._

_To Envy: Oh. Hmm, that's cool. I've never actually seen one, where do you find them?_

_To Ed: Excuse me? ...WHAT THE H--L KIND OF CONNECTION IS THAT?! ARE YOU TRYING TO SCAR ME FOR LIFE?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I DREAMED ABOUT CRABS?!_

_...Okay, I'm done. But seriously, I've dreamed of crabs a lot. Most of the crab dreams were after I watched __The Little Mermaid__, but still._

_To Roy: Um, Shi wanted me to read you this note. It says, "Dear Roy, you are still the hawtest man alive, and I still lurve you will my heart, you light my fire, baby, lurve, Shi". ...(clears throat nervously)_

_To Everyone: Tell me, who do you think would win in a fight, Izumi or Envy?_

_And now, I will leave you all with something I saw on an FMA message board one time. It went something like this:_

_OMFG ENVY IS LIK THE HAWTEST EVA YEYEAH!11ONE!!ONE11!!_

_Food for thought, perhaps?_

_--Zilo's Blue Pen (and Shi and Revo again)_

**BakaKonekoRKL: D: Well, if you do ever get a chance to come to one, come to Anime/MangaNEXT and let me know so we can meet up and stuff : ) AnimeNEXT next year is gonna be from June 20-22, 2008, so you can start saving up now! I'd buy you a plane ticket, but I'm what Tamaki would call "a commoner" :P That sounds like a cool cosplay! I have a few ideas myself (which I haven't seen done before), but I have no idea how to make them. I guess I'll try, though lol.**

**Riza: Well, diving is similar to swimming, I suppose. It's probably best to just ignore that kid and not let what he says bother you (or at least, don't show it even if it does). If he sees that it's not bothering you, he's more than likely to stop. If it continues for an extended period of time, then you should let a teacher know.**

**Ed: Well, actually, I was thinking of…Just kidding.**

**Al: Um…well I guess Brother could un-rust me…but I'd rather not take any chances.**

**Roy: I am NOT on crack! And for your information, I know how to use guns as well as my own bare hands, so give me my gloves back NOW or else you're going to regret it.**

**Lust: You should listen to your friends, because what she said is right.**

**Ed: …Even I'm not that bad!**

**Al: …Brother…you are.**

**Ed: …Well anyway, just ignore them. Pretend they're not there, and they'll go away. The sooner you take care of it, the better.**

**Envy: Well are we talking about the manga or the anime here? In the manga it is black.**

**Winry: …what? He won't get amnesia, don't worry.**

**Armstrong: Don't say that!! Always think of the positive things, not the negative!!!!**

**Hohenheim: …Excuse me?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Lol. Well, I'm gonna put MangaNEXT pics up soon…maybe this weekend. But until then, go to YouTube and search for "MangaNEXT 2007 Gay Bar". I'm one of the girls in purple who ran in from the left, but I ultimately end up all of the way to the right. We made it in less than 4 hours lol. Oh, and the one dressed as Ed is my sister (she should cosplay him more often, ne?).**

**Pride: Not really.**

**Wrath: That explains a lot.**

**Envy: …Restaurants?**

**Ed: I didn't know! I'm sorry, alright!?**

**Roy: If you really meant that, you'd give me my gloves back.**

**(Mostly) Everyone: Izumi.**

**Envy: What!? I could totally beat that old hag!**

**Izumi: **(cracks knuckles) **You sure about that?**

**Envy: …I was just kidding. Um…yeah. That was weird…Why me?**

_Hiya!_

_You are right Ed, I didn't think about the whole address thing...whoops...and like we totally love you even more, you too Al, for letting us marry your grandkids, that's sweet!! X3 I hope they agree...And I still have yet to watch the movie again, I'm still trying to finish the Japanese series! _

_Oh, I have another question, what kind of car would you have? An Italian one or a motorcycle? Both are waaay smexii X3_

_Advice time! Remember that friend I told who about who cuts herself? Yeah, well, she's at it again, and this time she isn't telling me, and telling an adult hasn't worked...she won't listen to me or adults, so what should I do now?? I really don't want to lose her as a friend or have her die because we have to go to Anime __Boston__ in March! So like, help!_

_-HanaNoHaru_

**Ed: Ha, got you there.**

**Al: No problem : )**

**Both: What's an Italian?**

**Ed: Well she obviously has a problem. Sometimes it'll just go away, but it seems as though she keeps coming back to it. The only way I see a solution to it is either by talking to her about it yourself, very seriously (maybe even scare her out of the habit), or (although you say this hasn't worked), telling her parents about it. Have them sit her down and talk to her about it; even a guidance councilor will do. Unfortunately, if this doesn't work, you may want to ask your own parents for help; if none of these work, then there's not much left to say.**

_YAY! I'm back!_

_All Homunculi: What if I was able to make red stones...would ya'll work for me instead? Though I'd probably just let you guys do whatever ya'll wanted...XD LOL_

_Sweetkittens_

**Greed: Hmm…sounds like a pretty good deal.**

**Lust: Alright.**

**Gluttony: Lust says she would so…I will, too!**

**Pride: No; Dante is more powerful that you.**

**Sloth: I don't see why not.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Only if you go to AnimeNEXT 08 and get me Crispin Freeman's autograph xD**

_Scar: What's your real name? Cuz, I honestly doubt your mom would have named you 'Scar'._

_Ed: So, who do you really like? Winry, Noa (who should rot in hell, btw), or Roy? Cuz we all know you like Roy...ha ha ha!_

_Al: Can I have a hug? You're my favorite character, unlike shorty up there. kidding Ed_

_Yeah, I can't really think of anything...oh well, this fic still rocks!_

_Amaya24_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Thanks!! You didn't really have to read all of it, though…although I guess the little jokes that pop up here and there (ex: Envy and blankets lol) make more sense if you do, ne?**

**Scar: I've already said that, although I used to have a name, I no longer do.**

**Ed: …Um, why don't you burn in hell?**

**Al: Brother!!!**

**Ed: Oh come on, Al!**

**Al: True, she did ask if you liked Roy, but at least she mentioned that you could like girls.**

**Ed: Which I do! Yeah, I guess that's true…most girls just flat out proclaim that I'm in love with Roy (or worse, Al). **(shudders)

**Al: Aw, of course! **(hugs)

_I'm back! Thanks for answering! _

_Oh, yeah and Envy my friend Star-chan says hi. (she's insane and has a crush on you. Be afraid…be very afraid...) _

_Roy: how come you go all ego-ish when someone else calls you great and to me you just say that? is offended_

_Al: -gives more books- Here and you're welcome! Ember-chan says hi!_

_Ed: my friend keeps trying to say your 4'7". She's evil! Anyway, that can't be all you do to it it's too shiny. _

_EMBER-CHAN'S questions:_

_Winry: don't tell Marie but I stole the __blue prints__ of her auto-mail. (her limbs are prosthetic) Can you build a new set for her for her b-day?_

_Ed: how come you spend so much time around Winry and not act like, you know, a guy?_

_Al: -glomp- Alphonse! _

_STAR-CHAN'S stuff_

_Envy: ZOMG IT'S ENVY! attacks and kisses_

_(Marie comes and pulls Star-chan off him)_

_Sorry, Envy..._

_See ya guys! _

_-Gives stuff-_

_Marie Blaze _

_Alchemist and charmer_

**BakaKonekoRKL: …You didn't happen to go to AnimeNEXT '06, did you? Just wondering…**

**Roy: Um…sorry? I'll do better next time.**

**Al: Thanks and hi!**

**Ed: You have permission to kill her. Um…well, I wash it when I can, but really, I don't do anything.**

**Winry: I would…but I don't think I'd be able to get them to you, so you should give her blue prints back.**

**Ed: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I DON'T ACT LIKE A GUY!?!?!**

**Al: Hi!!**

**Envy: GET OFF!! Well, at least this proves that I'm a guy, right?**

_-growls and sits on Ling- Now you can either give it to me nicely or I tear your arm off with the sword, got it? ...Good…Lol thought so. Envy that's you- hey, could you help me with my list if the world ends...Greed, you can help too if you wish. Winry I'll be as well but think you can torture Ed and Al? Speaking of torture… hehe._

_GreedSeiyaShika_

**Ling: …Alright, you can touch it.**

**Envy: …I guess.**

**Greed: What do I get out of it again?**

**Winry: Um…I don't think so…**

_To Dante:_

_I'D LIKE TO SEE YOUR SORRY TRY!_

_-sticks out toungue-_

_I'D STEAL ROY'S GLOVES AND TORCH YOU BEFORE YOU GOT WITHIN A CONTINENT OF ME!_

_To Envy:_

_I never said you said you were pretty. I'm just saying that you're too pretty in the anime._

_And, I've only read up to, like, chapter 38 of this, so this might be a ghost from the past, but- CROCHET ME A FRICKIN' DAMN BLANKET, DAMNIT! AND DO IT NOW, KNAVE! OR I SHALL KNEE YOU WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE AND FEED YOU TO GLUTTONY!_

_-knees him-_

_-runs away-_

_To Ed and Winry:_

_-LE GASP!-_

_DENYING IT MEANS IT'S TRUE!_

_-GASP-_

_-goes around telling everybody Ed and Winry love each other and made out when they were 12-_

_To Roy:_

_I know I'm hypocritical. Thank you._

_XD_

_Now ON YOUR KNEES AND BEG FOR NO FREAKIN' REASON, KNAVE! NOW!_

_And yes, I'm off my rocker, I've lost my marbles, you think I'm weird, but actually-I'M INSANE!_

_-laughs like a maniac-_

_-insert major random spazz here-_

_Havoc, I wuv you! But I'm underage, so sowwy. But I can be your puppy! I'm not even 4'10! Yet... _

_Ed, what's so bad about being short?!?! I'm not even 4'10 yet and I'm proud!! _

_-magically whips out a flag that says 'Short and Proud' and waves it around, singing, "I AM SHORT AND I AM PROUD!! TIME TO REPEAT NICE AND LOUD!" and repeating-_

_Lust, I like you! You're awesome! Too bad you died... but I hate the anime you!! SCREW YOU TO HELL, ANIME-LUST! The anime Lust died 'cuz she wanted to be human. The manga Lust was like, "We are homunculi. We are BETTER than you humans. Lol, sux 2 b u, humans." _

_Ok, and the cutsies! Manga-Pride and Anime-Wrath! -cuddles both-_

_-runs away-_

_Sorry, but I don't wanna die of shadow!! And sorry Wrath, but I'm more afraid of Pride than of you!_

_Oh, YAH!!_

_I haven't read all the way up yet, but so far, I haven't seen ANYONE mention Mei-Chan and Fu!! Sure, after the awesome BakaKonekoRKL said you could talk to manga-only people, people started to talk to Ling and Ran-Fan, but people COMPLETELY forgot about Dr.Knox and Mei-Chan and Fu! So I'm gonna talk to them!_

_Dr. Knox, I feel sorry for you. -pats back- I'm so sorry. That war was terrible, wasn't it?_

_Mei-Chan, OMG, you ROCK! You're one of my favorite characters! (my number 1 is Ran-Fan, and I'm and Ed fangirl, but you're up there, alright!) And Xiao-Mei is so cute!! I've forgotten if you got Xiao-Mei back yet, but if you haven't, Al is taking god care of her, NO WORRIES!_

_And Fu, um, I'm just doing this to include you. You know, I've got black hair, so can you teach Xingese __martial arts__?!? LYK, TTLY, LYK PLZ?!_

_Oh yah! I read SO much EdxWinry fanfiction that I can torture you guys all day! But I won't torture you today! I shall torture..._

_ROY!_

_-knees him where the sun don't shine (again), kicks his shin and slams his stomach with the side of her hand-_

_Lol, I just feel like hurting you. XD_

_-jumps on his stomach and yells at him-_

_YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME, YOU SON OF GUN, YOUR GLOVES ARE IN YOUR DESK, I CHECKED, SO YOU WILL DO WHAT I FINIGININ' SAY! _

_-ties him up and sends him to Drachma without a passport-_

_I'm gonna run now before Riza kills me._

_-runs-_

_Guys in white: THERE'S THE ESCAPED MENTAL PATIENT! GET HER!_

_-gets dragged away-_

_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA!_

_XD_

_September Rhyme_

**Dante: That's it. Envy, get her.**

**Envy: **(after reading what's addressed to him) **With pleasure. I'M NOT CORCHETING A BLANKET FOR YOU, GODDAMN IT!!!**

**Roy: NO! I've already had one girl steal my gloves, I don't need them to be stolen again!**

**Ed & Winry: Denying it means that it's not true! If it was true, we wouldn't be denying it!**

**Ed: What do you want us to say if it's not true then, huh? Since denying it obviously doesn't satisfy you.**

**Roy: Uh-huh…right…Security!!!**

**Havoc: Uh, that's alright. Thanks, though.**

**Ed: Just because you're fine with it doesn't mean that the rest of us are, so- wait, WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORT!!?**

**Lust: Well, thank you.**

**Manga-Pride & Wrath: **(glare)

**BakaKonekoRKL: ) **(likes being complimented xD) **Oh yeah, um, I'd add that last comment in, but I don't know exactly how to edit it into the whole letter (you'll notice that I already altered a few things for the sake of the length of this column lol)…but yes, someone has already spoken to Mei-chan. You can still feel special, though: )**

**Dr. Knox: **_**All **_**war is terrible.**

**Mei: Thanks! Don't worry, Alphonse gave her back already : )**

**Fu: …I don't think so.**

**Roy: **(surrounds himself with a ring of fire) **Stay the hell away from me.**

_To Authoress: Twilight series is possibly my favorite ever. It's a good romance (I hate romance unless it's my favorite pairings XP) that is a good recommendation for anyone willing._

_Ed: -.- Stop being a jerk..._

_Al: Knew you'd appreciate that. _

_Envy: Your cat form kicks butt. Just so you know. (Described: A black cat slid down, it's muscles moving in the same manner as a snake's. Violent purple eyes glinted evilly beneath its thick spiky pelt, and fangs curved down with venomous acuity...)_

_Onna-san_

**BakaKonekoRKL: They were selling it at my sister's book fair last week! I was like, "dksljfkjldsfakdlja;fs I know someone online who reads that and says it's really good!!!" But she bought Kingdon Hearts for our friend instead lol. Hmm, well the series isn't over yet, right? Let me know when it is, and I'll try to read it then (hopefully by then my "if a hot blonde guy nor twins are in it then I want nothing to do with it" craze is over lmao).**

**Ed: What did I do!?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Don't make me hit you with Haji's cello. Or I could just sic the twins on you…who knows what they'd do?**

**Ed: …I'll be good.**

**Al: Heehee…thanks again!**

**Envy: That…was probably the most random thing that's been said to me during this entire column. Besides me getting "glomped" to the ground…but that wasn't exactly said, so I guess you win. Uh…don't get your hopes up; you're not getting a blanket.**

_Randomly asking anyone for advice._

_Okay, story goes like this: I was too nice to someone and gave them the answers to a homework assignment a long time ago. Got that person a free perfect score. THEN the story about me almost having skipped three years of school got out. NOW everyone thinks I'm a genius. I assure you, I'm not. So, how do I get it through to these -for-brains that I'm NOT smart? Acting emo and swearing like a sailor don't work..._

_signed:_

_ENVY-MUSTANG-AND-SCAR-MUST-DIE_

**Ed: You could always fail a class or two…**

**Al: Brother! Alright, so that would probably be the most effective thing to do, wouldn't it be better to just let them know that if she **(A/N Sorry if you're a guy…I have to guess on genders a lot lol. Forgive me!) **really was that smart, she'd have skipped three years? Let them know some of your poorer grades (but don't fail things on purpose!), and tell them that there are smarter kids in your grade, and name a few. If they see that there are people smarter than you, they probably won't bother you anymore.**

**Ed: Or she could just fail her classes.**

**Al: You're not helping!**

_**Wow. I apologize a thousand times for taking so long to put this up, but as you've seen, I have been writing actual fanfics as of late (gasp!) lol. So check them out : ) And then there's my massive amount of homework…I had to read 30 pages of "The Canterbury Tales" tonight, as well as translating a crapload of French (Tama-chan…help me!!!)!!! Good thing I took off of school to go to the doctor's twice in the past two weeks (today and Monday…hurray, scoliosis!) or else nothing would be done!! To the two people whose questions I did not have time to answer, they will be the first ones in next time, so don't worry! As a final note, go to YouTube RIGHT NOW, and in the search bar, type in "MangaNEXT 2007 Gay Bar". Tell me what you think : D**_


	66. Chapter 66

I'm sorry, yet again, for how abnormally long this is taking, but junior year is a trillion times worse than sophomore year / So…I won't be able to update once a week anymore (obviously). Therefore, think of that when you ask questions, or you won't get the answer in time, possibly. I'll try to do my best, but…I'm sorry for any inconveniences. Gomen!!!! (bows) But here's this set of questions for you now! (thank goodness for 4 day breaks…)

_Hi __guys! All right I have a few:_

_Ed: What would you do if Winry was taken away by Envy to be snogged (forcibly kissed) by him? And you what? Proclaim your love for Winry already! It's so painstakingly obvious that you guys were meant for each other! Do you think of that Rose? And one last thing for you. You are short...for your age. When I was 11, I was 4'11 which was your real height in the manga, right? After I turned 12, I had a growth spurt and now I'm now over 5 feet. Sorry for dissing you like that, it's the truth._

_Al: Al, please. You CANNOT get a cat. You're probably gonna get it killed. Think of the poor kitten, but since you're just here, you can keep Furii, my friend's cat for the rest of the time you're here. Also, you need to try and get Ed and Winry together. And since you're really nice, can I call you Nii-san (that means brother in Japanese)?_

_Winry: Maybe the reason everyone hates you is because you keep on hitting Ed or something. Confess your love to Ed before that , Rose gets him first!_

_Rose: Die, just die. You aren't worth my time._

_Roy: Ed's way more handsome and has that chibi look than you so he's better than you! SO HA!_

_Riza: You're one of the coolest, but try to loosen up a little bit. Roy hasn't put the moves on you yet because you're so strict. But remember, keep Colonel Bastard in line! XD_

_Greed: You're the best homunculus! Can I poke your hair?_

_And that's all for now! Author, sorry its long! Thank you, bye! PS. Ed, you're short but awesome._

_sun-rain09_

Ed: Considering that I hate Envy anyway…I'd kill him. But uh, who ever said anything about proclaiming love for anyone? Can no one accept that maybe I don't like anyone? WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHORT LITTLE 12-YEAR-OLD WHO WILL NEVER GROW!?!?!

Al: …I know. But that doesn't mean I don't want one! And I think that I could efficiently take care of it without getting it killed on the road. (pets Furii) Aww! Well, I'll do my best (heh heh), and of course you can!

Winry: I won't say that he doesn't deserve it, though. But…I know Rose, and I don't think that she likes him.

Rose: Um…I'm sorry that you feel that way.

Roy: I have more power _and _more fangirls than him, so you're wrong.

Ed: WHAT!? I'M WAY MORE POPULAR THAN YOU!!!

Roy: Think what you like.

Ed: You delusional…

Riza: …Who ever said that I wanted him to "put moves on me"? My job calls for me to be strict, so I have to be so.

Greed: Thanks, but no.

BakaKonekoRKL: That's alright! I'm just sorry that it took so long to answer uo.o

Ed: …Shut up.

_-touches Ling's sword - hehe shiny ohh and yes I know how to use swords…Heh._

_Greed what do you want? Envy, be more happy about killing... I mean anyone to kill. Killing them slowly hearing their cries as you finally end their life._

_Well yea. Love you guys! Byes!_

_GreedSeiyaShika_

Ling: …Okay, that's enough!

Greed: …Everything.

Envy: Are you trying to tell me how to kill or something? Have you ever even killed anyone before? I think I know better than you how to properly dispose of someone, so don't tell me how to do it!

_Mwaha, my internet died, but I still am writing to you, feel the love!_

_Working on it, it's getting worse, I fell asleep in computer class today. I'll sleep well one night, and for the next three or so nights I'll get hardly any sleep, it's very confuzzling. _

_Yus, we are still good friends, I know she knows I'm a better friend than the ones she's made at the other school and we talk almost every day, so we're pretty good. We're actually going on a city-wide scavenger hunt my school's hosting together. She's not supposed to be there, but my group's gonna sneak her into the car anyway. XP._

_Envy: Maybe you would have, but maybe you're in denial! You love me, admit it! Crochet me a blanket, it's starting to get cold, KNAVE!_

_NEassa-chan_

**BakaKonekoRKL: My internet is constantly dying. I'm like, "Oh wow, now's a perfect time to work on my advice column!" And my internet is like, "Hahaha…no."**

**Envy: You know what? Other people were going to say something nice and friendly to you about everything, but GUESS WHAT? I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FRIEND DIE FROM NOT SLEEPING AND THE COLD!!! BECAUSE I'LL NEVER CROCHET YOU A BLANKET, SO JUST GIVE UP ON IT!! I swear, fangirls…**

**BakaKonekoRKL: …That was low, even for you.**

**Envy: …Why the hell should I care? It's past 1:00am and it's cold.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: So crochet a blanket.**

**Envy: Well I **_**would**_** if someone would just—HEYY!!!**

(A/N See responses for Zilo's Blue Pen :D )

_I have returned after a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very long time!_

_But I have only one thing to say... To Scar..._

_FISHBALALAMALAMALAMALAMA!_

_I just love doing that! Nobody ever does that anymore in this fic. It's so much fun!_

_Scar is a fish! A fishy fish fish ishbalan fishbalan fishface!_

_-HisokaYukiko_

**BakaKonekoRKL: So have I. lol.**

**Scar: Maybe no one does it anymore because they like having their heads attached to their bodies?**

_Thanks for answering me! I'm doing those "Ask the cast" fic for YuGi-Oh GX xD I also got hmk to do DX_

_Anyway..._

_Armstrong- (sweat drop) ;;_

_Envy-HIME-CHAN- I'd like to see you try PALM TREE PRINCESS! XD_

_Ed- You don't like milk, eh? Have you heard of...you know when you were an infant, your mother fed you by...? (whispers in your ear if still clueless about the hint) XD _

_Roy-CHAN- (murmurs) emo-pyro princess..._

_Winry- if Ed doesn't give you a teddy bear, hit him with your wrench for me, kay? (gives you an Edward plushie)_

_Al- here's more kitty plushies (gives you a basket full of kitty plushies)_

_Riza- here's a Roy plushie_

_Gluttony- did you know you ate Lust and Scar in the Chibi OVA?_

_Everyone else- Konnichiwa! ._

_Ookami Bakura_

**BakaKonekoRKL: My pleasure :D I don't know what all of that means…but good luck with it!!**

**Envy: DON'T FREAKING CALL ME THAT!!!!!! I SWEAR, I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF YOU BY THE TIME THIS ENDS!!!!!!**

**Ed: W-What are you saying? That's just…That's just…HENTAI!!!!!!**

**Roy: …And oddly enough, if Envy killed you, I would make no move to stop him.**

**Winry: I think you're just looking for an excuse for Ed to be hit. But alright.**

**Al: Aww, yay!!! Thanks!!!!**

**Riza: …And…what am I supposed to do with it?**

**Gluttony: …Yum!**

**Everyone: Konnichiwa!!**

_Guuten Taag! Or Guizuntiet, or whatever you Germans say..._

_To Ed: I respect your authority! POWER TO THE SHORTI'S! Anyway, what if you suddenly grew 12ft tall?_

_To Roy: YOU ARE A FREAKING NAZI! AND DON'T DENY IT, YOU FLAMING SCUM-BAG! RAWR!_

_To Al: You should get a deeper voice. Like Sig, from Jak 2. Start calling people cherries. WHY?! BECAUSE YOU'RE A SUIT OF ARMOR! YOU ARE A VERY PWNSOME BEING!_

_To Envy: I like the hair. Not the voice._

_enviousboarhead115_

**Ed: Who the hell ever said I was short!?!? If I was 12 feet tall…I'd step on Colonel Bastard **(evil smirk) **and everyone else who ever called me short that I don't like.**

**Roy: …What the hell is a nazi?**

**Al: Um…who? And why cherries? What are you saying!?!? I'm confused uO.o**

**Envy: Well…who asked you? Though I can't say that I'm complaining about that first comment there.**

_Wow. Hey Winry, what would you say if Vic, Ed's voice actor, met you? Travis with Colonel McSparky- I mean Roy. Also Vic with Ed, too. I wonder…_

_Midnight Hikari_

_P.S. Rose, Noa, even though I don't really like you all that much, my friend has a notebook and wrote "Death Note" on it and has your names in it. Be careful!_

_Midnight Hikari_

**Winry: Um…I dunno, I guess we'd talk. About what, I don't know. Does he like automail?**

**Roy: First of all, call me that again and you'll face the wrath of my alchemic gloves. Secondly, I hear that he's a bit like me, so I'm sure we could find something to talk about.**

**Ed: Uh, I don't know. We could talk about how amazing I am, I guess.**

**Rose & Noa: …What's a "Death Note"?**

_Hi! Ok, I will try the scaring her thing, it will be some what fun. And I watched that movie and you are a liar! I saw no hugging between you and Al at all!! . anyway, Hoshi says that you are smexii and your grandson knows how to dance when he's older. I don't know how she knows this but she does! I have a certain friend…and she wants me to watch and make a Roy/Ed video for_

_her...and it wont stop! She keeps making me watch it and I hate that couple cuz you are not gay Ed! . so, that's it. Bye bye!!_

_-HanaNoHaru_

**Ed: …Well you can imagine it happening at some point when the cameras weren't on us, right? Um…well thanks…and I don't even know that myself, but whatever. YEAH! FIGHT THE YAOI!!!**

_YAY! -points- In your FACE, Dante!! -dances with BakaKonekoRKL-_

_BTW Pride, no one cares what you think! ptth... XD_

_Sweetkittens_

**Dante & Pride: You continue, even though we could kill you at any time, if we so willed it? Are you stupid or something?**

_Hi. I'm back. And this time, MY stuff is first, because I am the sanest person in this group._

_(Revo protests, but I told him to shut up or I wouldn't let him say anything)_

_ZILO FIRST_

_To Authoress: Doesn't being a commoner stink? I can't buy jewel-encrusted teabags like I want to...but anyway, thanks for the heads-up. I really will try to get there (in my Edphonse outfit) because I'd love to meet you. And if I can EVER get my dad to give me back my speakers, I'll look up that vid you mentioned. _

_To Wrath: Yes, it does. My brother often runs into me, tackles me, or falls on me...usually on accident. He's quite clumsy._

_To Ed: Okay. I forgive you. I rarely blow my top like that, but I am very sensitive about those kind of things because a certain a--hole (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) has called me a a few times. It was the only time I ever beat someone up (and I got in a bit of trouble, but he did stop)._

_Oh, hey, and did you know, my brother-in-law's middle name is Ellrick? It's how I first started watching FMA._

_To Izumi: I figured it would be you. By the way, your hair is lovely. Is it dreadlocks or what?_

_To Envy: I don't know. But I do know that message got a response that said the following:_

_"WTF r u crazy girl?! ENVY IS A F-ING GAY PALM TREE"_

_To which I said the following:_

_"Actually, no he's not, but you're an absolute psychopath"_

_That kind of killed the conversation._

_Oh, and I have a question for you--if Ed somehow had an accident that wiped his memory so he didn't know who he was or who you were, what would you do with him? Take advantage of the situation and kill him? Twist his Alchemic abilities to fit your needs? Or something else entirely?_

_To Gluttony: I saw an episode where you were chewing on a table. How did it taste?_

_To Al: Do you give cuddly hugs? I'd like one._

_To Dante: Is there any specific type of girl you jump into? I mean, does she have to be young or pretty or whatever?_

_REVO NEXT_

_EDO: Hmm, yeah, I guess, since I got suspended for fighting! But hey, I'm a fighter, not a lover, know what I'm sayin?_

_ENVY: AHA! SO I WAS RIGHT! You ever headbutt somebody?_

_WINRY: SO THEN YOU'RE LIKE A DOCTOR? Otherwise how'd you know, chick?_

_(I take this opportunity to smack him and tell him to be nice)_

_Oww...okay, sorre, jeez. I'M SORRY, WINRY._

_ARMSTRONG: YEAH! LIKE NEGATIVE PLUS NEGATIVE EQUALS POSITIVE! I'M ON_

_FIYAH!_

_Hohenheim: Mah dawg, mah dawg...(shakes head sadly) You have no street cred!_

_(Zilo: Revo is a moron.)_

_(cheerfully) YUP!_

_LAST BUT NOT LEAST, SHI_

_Riza: Thank you, I will take that to heart. How do you pronounce your name?_

_Edward: Please don't. You'll end up looking like a freak. Have you seen a person who gets their lips puffed up, for example? They look like fishies. YOUR FACE IS PERFECTLY CUTE THE WAY IT IS._

_Alphonse: Yes, I suppose. How...I don't know, anticlimactic._

_Roy: Threatening a young girl not even in her teens? Tsk, tsk. That gets you jail time. And also, about the letter, I was simply showing off my amazing ability to sound like a fangirl._

_(Zilo: All right, look here, Shi! Give Roy back his gloves or you cannot touch my laptop ever again!)_

_Aw jeez...(reluctantly hands gloves back) What else can I take? Hmm...I know! (gets a ladder, climbs on ladder, takes off Al's head, and makes a break for it)_

_Lust: I don't like listening to my sister. She's mean. (Zilo: I am not!)_

_OH, ONE MORE FROM MY SISTER-IN-LAW, WHO WE WILL CALL PEG_

_To The Authoress:_

_Hello! This is a very good story you have here. I read it every once in a while before going to bed. I think you have wonderful skills!_

_Aw. My sis-in-law is so airy fairy._

_Okay, anyway, this has gone on long enough. I'll see you all later, but first, I have a present for Envy. (hands him a crocheted blanket) I made it myself. It might fall apart in a few hours, though._

_Bye._

_Zilo's Blue Pen (and Shi, Revo, and Peg)_

**BakaKonekoRKL: I know, really! Damn rich bastards…but anyway, that would be super cool if you could come! I think I'm getting an Artist's Alley table, so it wouldn't be too hard to find me…unless I'm at the Host Club…lol. The link to the vid is in my profile, so it won't be hard to find : )**

**Wrath: …Want me to do something about that? I could easily get rid of him.**

**Ed: …Ok, then, well…I'll remember that. Does he watch, too? I have to say, something like "Elric" isn't all that common, so it must be kind of weird to have a name so close to it.**

**Izumi: Thank you, and yes.**

**Envy: Psychopath, fangirl, same thing. I'd use him until he was of no more use, and then brutally murder him.**

**Gluttony: Good!**

**Wrath: …You think everything tastes good.**

**Al: Of course!! **(hugs)

**Dante: She should be young and pretty (of course, there are some exceptions, such as if I need a body fast, I can settle with something a bit older if I absolutely must).**

**Ed: Um…Yes…no…Maybe?**

**Envy: No…Why the hell would I?**

**Winry: Cool, you saved me the trouble of hitting him! Well I'm not a doctor, but I did look through my parents' medical books all of the time when I was younger.**

**Armstrong: IF YOU SAY SO!!!**

**Hohenheim: You've got that right.**

**Riza: You're welcome. You can hear it pronounced in the anime; it's Re (as in "Read") – zah (as in "ZAzou" **(A/N the bird from The Lion King? Yeah lol)

**Ed: I wasn't going to, but thanks for the warning…I think.**

**Al: Um…I'm sorry.**

**Roy: Finally. I swear, you're insane.**

**Al: H-Hey!! Give that back!!!**

**Ed: Give Al his head back!!!!**

**Lust: Now, that's not very nice.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Thank you so much!!! That really made my day…er…night. Or is it considered morning? It's 2:30 as I'm typing this…I actually probably won't remember this when I wake up later today lol but I appreciate it at the moment, since I'm currently still conscious enough to retain the information.**

**Envy: WHAT IS IT WITH THIS DAMN BLANKET!?!? **(gives to Neassa) **There, there's your damn blanket.**

_Envy: You're just lucky I said something nice to you..._

_Authoress: Guess what? I'm obsessed with a whole new manga! Welcome, Onna, to the world of Furuba! Hope you had fun at the convention._

_Ed: -hugs- Forgiven._

_Al: Hm...Al do you have a favorite kitty?_

_Onna-san_

**Envy: Oh, yeah, so lucky.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: That's a really good one!! But you should try Ouran High School Host Club, Blood+ and Vampire Knight. Those are all amazing. You'll see how much fun I had…if you click on the first link in my profile :D**

**Ed: Awesome.**

**Al: Um…I love all kinds of cats; I can't choose!!**

_More questions and comments from me. Al- My little brother got home from school and he is freaking out. Has Ed ever done that to you?_

_Ed- What types of books do you like, besides Alchemy books?_

_Wrath- My friend keeps calling you a nudest..._

_Heiderich- You gots purdy eyes._

_Moofy-Fan_

**Al: The only time Brother ever freaks out is when someone calls him short...**

**Ed: Uh, adventure, I guess.**

**Wrath: Well I'm not!!!!**

**Heiderich: Thank…you? I think…**

_I'm back guys!_

_First of all, THE AUTERESS IS AWSOM! Ok now that that's out of my system…Were you in the video? Which one were you? And I couldn't go...[tear _

_Anyway I have to ask some advise. _

_There's this guy I like but he completely ignores me because of my...problem. What do I do?_

_(Ember- chans stuff)_

_Alphonse[again glomp I do that a lot sorry..._

_And I didn't say you didn't act like a guy, Ed. It's just that most guys I know would have AT LEAST asked Winry out by now...Or, do you need a little push[writes sappy love note to Winry and signs Ed's name and delivers it Now you have to admit it!_

_(marie) is that necessary?_

_Yes it is._

_Envy what do you mean it proves it? Was it not already obvious?_

_And HELLO! Marie dragged her off in like two seconds. You had no time to say get off flail or any thing! And also Ed: I"M THE ONE THAT TYPED THE 4'7" COMMENT AND I DON'T NEED YOUR PERMISSION FOR ANYTHING YOU-ANNOYING-HYPER-ACTIVE-SO-SMALL-HE-CAN-BE-SQUASHED-BY-A-PASSING-ELECTRON-ON-AN-ANTS-FOOT-WHILE-DROWNING-OUTSIDE-WHEN-IT-RAINS-MICRO-MINI-POST-PUBESENT-HORMONALY-BEHIND-MIDGET!_

_(marie has forcibly regained control of this letter.)_

_Err... sorry 'bout that [she had coffee_

_And I have an extremely random question: what would you do if you all were chibi -fied? _

_[sives every one cookies and a truck lode of cookies for the author!_

_See you later,_

_Marie blaze _

_Alchemist and charmer_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Most people don't go…since it's in NJ and no one cares about us in NJ lol. Yup, I was in the video :D I'm one of the twins (yellow bandanas, purple striped shrirts); I end up on the farthest right, but I come in from the left. I have glasses on.**

**Winry: If you've tried to talk to him, been nice to him, and tried to be friends with him and he still ignores you, then he isn't someone worth liking, especially if he ignores you for such a stupid reason. **

**Al: Heehee, it's ok :)**

**Ed: …she'll know that it wasn't from me; I'd never do something like that. WHAT THE- HOW DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE—**(goes into some sort of spazzing fit…thing.)

**Al: Coffee isn't really all that pleasant tasting, is it? And every time someone drinks it, they end up freaking out on Brother, and then this happens…**

**Winry: There's actually a special after the movie for that. You can find it subbed on YouTube; just try searching for something like "FMA Chibi OVA".**

**BakaKonekoRKL: YESSS!!! I'm starving xD**

_To The FMA Peoples_

_Um I'm not sure if you're still GIVING advise but I'll ask anyway…_

_My friends think I'm dumb. I'm not. I act dumb because I want people to feel good. They forget that and look down on me and don't take me seriously. I tried to explain but they still didn't take me seriously. And I love my friends very much. I take the advanced classes just so I can be with them. sigh I just want them to respect my opinion and think I'm smart, cuz I am. I just don't want to make people feel dumber than me. What do I do?_

_Yakami_

**Ed: Under these circumstances, I'd stay that you can stand to act as smart as you really are. So what if you're smarter than them? If they're not respecting your opinions, you shouldn't hide anything from them, because that will only make things worse. No one is ever the "smartest", so there's always going to be someone smarter than you, and them. If the person who's smarter than them is you, then so be it, because there are many more people who are, too, and they shouldn't be offended by it in any way.**

_HALO PEOPLE OF FMA! Just out of my sick curiosity...Roy, would you ever burn Riza's face off? (I would). Ed...YOU'RE SO...not saying...AL, you're the CUTE ONE! Not as armor though . Winry, would ever kiss ED?_

_PS. Ed you're weird! Plus you're short! XD JK, (my brothers think I'm being like you! Pssh yea right!)_

_LiTtle CHerRy BloOsOm_

**Roy: Of course not!!**

**Ed: …**

**Al: Aw, thanks!!**

**Winry: …I don't know…maybe?….**

**Ed: WHAT THE-!? THAT WAS TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR!!!**

_Sweet! I love this! But I'm kind of annoyed, Al didn't give me my hug... sobs uncontrollably_

_Kidding. So, questions:_

_Noa: Why do you suck so much? It should be illegal, how much you suck, I mean. Really, you're right up there with Dante on the sucky scale! . Winry: Who do you like better? Roy, Ed, or Al? Or someone else? Ed: I'm sorry I insulted you with RoyEd, but I had just read some on here and it kind of burned into my brain...Sowwy Eddo... _

_Okay, on a more serious note, I need some advice: these stupid cheerleader types are bugging my friend, but she's not letting me do anything to them, and I don't have her for any of my classes so I can't tell if she's being harrassed. Besides, if I do anything to them I'll get detention. Any help?_

_Amaya24_

**Al: I-I'm sorry!!!! **(hugs)

**Noa: …It's all a matter of personal opinion.**

**Winry: I respect Roy, but I don't really like him all that much, and I can't really forgive him. As for Ed and Al…well, I love them both, but I think that Ed and I are just a teensy bit closer since we're the same age and stuff.**

**Ed: The stuff is evil in the form of writing.**

**Al: Why not tell a teacher or someone about it? If you get the principal to have a meeting with all of them and their parents or something, I'm sure it will stop.**

_YAY! You finally answered my stuff! Anyway, time for some questions!_

_Ed: Why won't you let Al have dang cat? He would probably be able to take care of it! He's not a baby anymore! And I am proud to say that I'm a fangirl! -glomps Ed-_

_Al: why not try to beat Ed up? (sorry Ed) you're strong enough to. He might listen!_

_Roy: (sarcastically) What a great reaction! You brightened my day completely!_

_Envy: coughcoughPalmTreecoughcough_

_Rose: what happened to your baby?_

_Alfons: you're welcome!_

_Scieszka: I will have fun! I look a lot like you, so almost all I had to do was get a military outfit!_

_Now to some actual things I need advice with..._

_Anyone: I have a crush on a guy at my school that I have no classes with and I'm too shy to tell him, what do I do?_

_Namine.Yamaro_

_(a hyperactive fangirl)_

**Ed: One, WE ARE NOT GETTING A GODDAMN CAT SO GET OVER IT! Two, GET OFF OF ME!!**

**Al: What!? No, I could never beat up my brother!!!**

**Roy: …Oh give it a rest, will you?**

**Envy: WHAT was that!?**

**Rose: Um…nothing…He's still living with me today, growing up.**

**Scieszka: Awesome! As for the advice, why don't you try to just be friends for now? If you do that, you can hang out with him and some of your other friends whenever you want, and in that time, maybe he'll start to like you, too.**

_Oh my gosh, I just read chapter 76 of the manga and OH MY GOD!_

_-glomps Ed- OH MY GOD YOU POOR BABY YOU'RE ALMOST DEAD WHY! YOU NEVER EVEN HOOKED UP WITH WINRY, OR KISSED HER AT ALL!! WHY! -crys into his shoulder-_

_WHY DO THE GREAT ALWAYS GO FIRST!_

_-suddenly gets off of Ed and atta-I mean, glomps Al-_

_OH MY GOD, YOU'RE GONNA DIE TOO! WHY! -cries into his shoulder-_

_YOU NEVER EVEN GOT TO EAT WINRY'S PIE! -switches to Winry-_

_AND YOU'RE GONNA LOSE YOUR BEST FRIENDS! WHY! YOU NEVER EVEN KISSED ED! WHY! -suddenly flies onto the floor and lands in the fetal position crying-_

_why... -suddenly (another suddenly) flies up, steals Barry's knives and faces Kimbley-_

_YOU GODDAMN SON OF -expletive- WHERE THE FRIGGIN' HELL'D YOU GET A GODDAMN_

_SECOND PHILOSOPHER'S STONE WELL IT DON'T GODDAMN MATTER 'CUZ YOU DIE NOW! -runs around in circles pathetically tries to cut Kimbley's hands off-_

_WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SUCH A BASTARD WHY DON'T YOU DIE IN FACT!_

_-throws knives away and transmutes a giant flamethrower, torches Kimbley, transmutes the flamethrower into a bazooka and bazookas his remains- Got that off my chest. Now,_

_Dante, YOU CAN'T SEND ENVY TO DO YOUR DIRTY WORK THIS TIME! I STOLE A_

_CONCORD! EVEN A HOMUNCULUS CAN'T GO THAT FAST! _

_-sticks tongue out-_

_Now, try and FACE me like a MAN!_

_Envy, why do you hate crocheting? -puts on glasses and looks like a psychiatrist- Does it have anything to do with something from your childhood?_

_And oh yes, Ed and Winry, denying it TOTALLY means it's true._

_And Roy, I GOT A __CONCORD__! And a Concord can TOTALLY go faster than some stupid security if it can go faster than sound!_

_And Havoc, my fangirlness for Ed is waning now (TT), so I might be a fangirl of you next:3 You never know!!_

_September Rhyme_

**Ed: Calm down!!!! I'm not dead, but I might be soon, if you continue crushing my lungs like that!! AND WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH KISSING WINRY?!?**

**Al: I'm not dead; you don't have to worry!! It's ok!!**

**Winry: T-They're both fine!**

**Kimbley: …Someone needs to calm down.**

**Dante: …Do I LOOK like a man to you?**

**Envy: No, it's because of you FREAKING HUMANS THAT BUG THE HELL OUT OF ME, ASKING ME TO MAKE YOU BLANKETS!!**

**Ed & Winry: DOES NOT!!**

**Roy: …Wow. You don't know how happy I am to hear that.**

**Havoc: …oh, god.**

_Hello, it's me again. You may remember me as Sharingan 1023. So I'll get right to the questions._

_Ed-People say I'm like you and Roy mixed together. What do you think about that? I hope Winry used those Sit beads I gave her. Here's another scenario:_

_Kagome-I don't know what you're talikng about, I'm not listening!_

_Inuyasha-It's not like I wanted to kiss you!_

_Kagome-Hm? What exactly is that supposed to mean?_

_Inuyasha-I meant it wasn't my idea. I mean, you're the one who forced yourself on me remember?_

_Kagome-Inuyasha, SIT! (Walks away angry.)_

_Shippo- Inuyasha, grow up would ya? (Shippo's basically Al.)_

_All Female FMA Members-I have a girlfriend named Rianne who I've dated for the past 7-8 years. She moved away and all I have left to remember her is her picture and the final kiss we shared. What should I do to get on with my life? She's basically a mix between Winry, Riza, and Izumi._

_Winry-Use those beads wisely._

_wolfboy1021_

**Ed: Well I don't really know you all that well, so I can't exactly give my opinion on that, but people can't be all that far off, right? DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE OR SOMETHING!?**

**Riza: Try getting closer to some other girls, when you feel as though you've gotten over this one. You shouldn't force yourself to feel anything, but if you genuinely like a girl, you should ask her out. You need to get over Rianne at some point, right?**

**Winry: Will do!**

_Ooh. This sounds interesting. . .I wanna try!_

_Ed: any advice to a fellow short person who wants to grow taller? (no offense on the short comment)_

_Roy: would you date a girl who pairs you up with Ed in her fanfics? (not me, it's my friend)_

_Al: I like cats too :3_

_Ed/Al: my friend's leaving for __Japan__ next year and I might not be able to see her for 5-10 years! I practically grew up with her. How do you think I should deal with this? (seeing as how both of you got separated in the end of the series for 3-4 years)_

_Thanks!_

_Schiezka: bookworms rock!_

_Envy: transvestite._

_Al: here's a kitten! (don't worry, it's Ed-proof so that you can keep him as long as you want)_

_Ed: hah! You'll have to deal with the cat from now on!_

_BakaKonekoRKL: I'm sorry that my questions were placed in two different reviews!_

_Yeah, I guess that's it :D_

_-Fate94 :3_

**Ed: …Um, don't drink too much coffee, and (as much as I hate to say it), drink milk. Sometimes it's genetic, though, and you can't really do much about it, in which case I suggest wearing shoes with some kind of heel to them.**

**Roy: First of all, why would she date me if she wants me to be with him? And secondly, no. That would just be creepy, awkward and disturbing.**

**Al:D Aren't they cute!!!? As for your friend, try to stay in contact with her as much as you can; call her, write to her, you know.**

**Ed: And if you send her presents on her birthday and holidays, you know that you'll be getting stuff from Japan from her.**

**Al: Brother, that's not the point.**

**Ed: …what? Sending each other gifts is a good way to stay connected!**

**Scieszka: I agree!**

**Envy: Whore.**

**Al:D Yay!**

**Ed: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "ED-PROOF"!? Give it back, Al.**

**Al: But-**

**Ed: Back!**

**Al: Brother, I-**

**Ed: Now!!**

**Al: …Yes, Brother.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Lol no prob. Sorry it took so long to answer them.**

_After my 2 week leave to see my fiance, I have returned!_

_Envy: Hmm...How about no...and because I know it annoys the hell out of you: _

_Go crochet some blankets for your fangirls! I would call you a palm tree...but as I stated...I don't think you really look like one at all..._

_Slicer Brothers: If that's the case, I guess I'll have to look for someone else since it'd probably be boring._

_Greed: How about you? I'll pay you well._

_Ed: -grabs him by his jacket and throws him outside- Wait there until I'm done..._

_Wrath: Sorry...but I like my share of sweets too._

_Winry: Ahh, I see. I was just curious._

_Hughes: Well...It was a little late but we didn't go to the con anyhow so I'll just keep that in mind for next time. I didn't even think about the Roys and wives thing. That's a good point, hehe._

_Roy: GET A WIFE! Sorry...Had to. XD Anyway, you know...Why do you get so upset when the fangirls steal your gloves...They can't really do anything. All the gloves do is make a spark. If they don't know alchemy they can't really do anything. Your alchemy is what makes the fire and explosions...not the gloves themselves. And also...I have a good phrase for you and it's one of my favorites: "KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Mwahahahaha!_

_Winry/Riza: Thanks. But don't worry...I know what I'm doing. The marriage isn't suppose to be for at least a year and a half to two years...so there's plenty of time to make absolutely sure everything's going to work out._

_Ed/Envy: Uh...Because I can. -kicks them in the other shin this time- Ahh...Still feels good. Hehe._

_Well...Now I must return to being bored as hell...Until next time!_

_Prince-Marth85_

**Envy: GODDAMN IT!!! STOP SAYING THAT!!! I'M NOT CROCHETING ANY FREAKING BLANKETS, ALRIGHT!?!?**

**Slicer Brother: Yea…Sorry about that.**

**Greed: …How much we talking, here?**

**Ed: Hey!! You jerk!**

**Wrath: **(pouts) **Fine…**

**Hughes: Well, I guess you can just keep all of that in mind for next time you go!**

**Roy: ..Oh, god, not another one…Well, it's just the fact that they stole something of mine, which is really enough to piss me off by itself, but they're also my greatest weapons, not to mention that they torment me about it, and there's always the off chance that they actually KNOW some Alchemy.**

**Winry & Riza: As long as you're sure.**

**Ed: ARGH!!**

**Envy: I think I have to agree with him this time when he says, YOU JERK!!**

_Hello all. Tis I, the weird kid that DOESN'T like being called smart._

_Well yeah. Got another lil issue. Not all that bad. But yeah. I can't think for nothing. Me stupid._

_My dark side, she is a masochist. Whenever she feels pain, I feel it too. Which royally sucks. She once tore out her own eyes. THAT is painful, right there._

_Oh, and I'm a girl. Might be hard to tell from my mentality. Me stupid. And obsessed with Cool Ranch Doritos and angsty rock music. THE BLACK PARADE, DUDES!! WHOT!!_

_Oh yeah, and a lil poll thingy. What kinda music would you all like? Me curious._

_AND I GOT AN 82 IN AMERICAN HISTORY, GOT SWORE AT INTO OBLIVION BY MY FAMILY, BUT PEOPLE STILL THINK I'M SMART!! deep breathsAnd this one guy won't stop hugging me. MAN GERMS. EWW. And I burned a hole in my arm with an eraser when I was bored. My life's really fked up, ne?_

_Wells yeah. ENVY'S SO GAY HE MAKES __MICHAEL JACKSON__ LOOK STRAIGHT!!_

_signed:_

_ENVY-MUSTANG-AND-SCAR-MUST-DIE_

**Al: Ah…Um…maybe you could just learn to channel than negativity into something positive, like writing fanfiction or drawing?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: AHHHH GOMEN!!! I'M SO SORRY; I'M REALLY BAD AT GUESSING PEOPLES' GENDERS!!! Especially at 4 in the morning…**

**Ed: Uh, I guess rock.**

**Al: Maybe soft rock?**

**Roy: Call me old-fashioned, but I like jazz.**

**Winry: I'll listen to just about anything. Except country.**

**Ed: Well then, just let people think you're smart. Just ignore people when they bother you and stuff, and they should go away. And if that kid's bothering you, he may have a crush on you. Just be thankful that it's not Envy germs.**

**Envy: Why don't you all just shut the hell up? WHO IS THIS MICHAEL JACKSON PERSON!?**

**Ed: It's supposed to be some kind of an insult.**

**Envy: Obviously.**

_Dear Envy,_

_You rock! You look better in the anime, but I really wish your voice in the anime was played by a man. I'd watch the Japo version, but Wrath's voice is just too innocent. I won't glomp you, because I know what happens when people glomp you. Your uber evilness surpasses everything! Here -hands Envy a batch of chocolate parfaits disguised and a lot of red stones-. But also, if you let me hug you, or shake hands with you, I'd be honoured. You rule, end of story._

_Dear (anime) Wrath,_

_Yu. R. Liek. So. Cute. I really hate how you exist in the manga as Pride from the anime. You're the real Wrath, I don't care what ANYONE else from FMA says! Your sin rules, too. Wrath happens to the sin that appeals to me the most! (Everyone says I'm Wrath and Sloth. You and Mummy. Isn't that so cool?!) Can I hug you if I give you these? –hands over a lot of red stones and a truck load of sweets- Please? I love reading fanfics about you, too. It sucks that you're paired up with Envy most of the time. DON'T READ THEM. Although I think you're smart enough to figure that out. But my two Heavenly Virtues seem to be Liberality, but the second one hasn't been decided yet. If you're wondering why I have two, it's because I wanted it to be so._

_Okay. Now that I have sent my letters to my fav. characters, it's time that I need advice! My friend is boy crazed. Seriously. A direct quote is 'Let's go sit over at THAT table, where we can get a better view of the boys!'. She's getting pretty friendly with them too, and I'm worried. I don't want her to turn into a , or skank, or (which I found out was an anagram of Lust...but Lust isn't a_

_, she just wears uber cool clothing). Also, her very best friend's loyalty has vanished. Her VERY best friend wants to be mine, mostly because I'm more fun, I'm not boy crazed, I forgive her all the time, the only reason why I call her an idiot is out of jokingness. But if she sticks with me, my friend will have the boys all to herself, no best friends, and will eventually be considered a skank. _

_I've tried guidance councellors, advice from adults, even called her parents! I talked to her about it, but then she accuses me of being an emo b-tch, and it makes me want to stab her (Also, quick note here to Envy: I'd be delighted if you kick her . Just a little bit.). But she's still my friend, and I want to be here to help her._

_Please, help?_

_Sincerely,_

_Wrath and Liberality._

_P.S Ed, you ARE short. But you should be proud of it. But you're only considered short because average height here has changed to 'tall'._

_P.S.S Winry...you look like a typical blondie. But the piercings ruin your Barbie look, so I recommend you get more._

_P.S.S I'm sorry that Roy is hotter than you, Havoc. But I'm quite sure Katherine'll warm up some day._

_P.S.S.S Homunculi rock, goodies like Roy and Ed don't compared to them! It was hilarious when Envy pretended to be Winry. You guys were like, SO FOOLED. Even Greed XD_

**Envy: At least there's someone who appreciates me. Yeah, you and me both. Good thing you didn't hug me, because that would just ruin the mood. But I will shake your hand, just because you haven't been an absolute jerk.**

**Wrath: Thanks! Cool! Um…ok, sure. Quickly. Don't worry, I've heard about the evils of fanfiction and don't intend to read any anytime soon…or ever, for that matter. Uh, but if you don't know the second one, doesn't that really mean you only have one?**

**Envy: …You could always just kill her.**

**Everyone: ………**

**Al: Well…it seems like you've done all you can do within your power, to tell you the truth. And I know that may be hard to accept, but if this girl doesn't want to do anything, she's not going to listen to you. It's often during this age that people you've been friends with for ages will do a complete 180, and you'll hardly ever talk to them again. From my point of view, this appears to be one of those times.**

**Ed: You…you know what? ……Meh.**

**Winry: I don't think I can really fit many more on my ears…but I am almost the total opposite of "Barbie"; she'd never get down and dirty with automail like I do, right?**

**Envy: Again, thanks.**

…_**My mailbox feels so empty xD And in case you're wondering, it is 5:15am where I am. Like I said before, thank goodness for 4-day breaks!!! Anyway, I'll try to be faster with the next chapter (seriously, do NOT take 1 AP and 3 A classes your junior year of highschool…you'll regret it). But yeah…twincest…good…**_

_**I need a life.**_

_**I'll work hard! Hope this chapter was satisfying! (I stayed up until 4 and 5 am two nights in a row, so it sure as hell had better be!!! …Yes, I'm insane, thank you.) 21 pages on Microsoft Word, by the way. 21 PAGES!!!**_

…_**I need sleep xD**_


	67. Chapter 67

Ha…And I was sure that I'd never get another review for this again after the amount of time it took to update last time…and yet I'm still getting review alerts…lol. I feel loved :D Also, I'm not sure, but it seems as though some words are getting cut out of your reviews…so if you see some questions missing, that's probably because it made no sense, because of that. Either that or the questions a few of you are writing are direct replies to what I said or something, and they didn't make sense to me or something. Confused:D Oh, but for those of you who are wondering, DO NOT come here just to kill characters and stuff (you know who you are). This is supposed to be for advice and…general talking with the characters, not brutally murdering them, because how am I supposed to answer that? THAT IS WHAT FANFICTION IS FOR, so go write one yourself about it. I'm not here to entertain you.

…Ok, so I am.

_-smirks- After all, I did revive you heh and heh ok, that can be fixed up, I think. Envy, I'm not telling you how to kill, it's a suggestion, kid... pfft you can be so moody at times...EDO Haven't said anything to you! So, midget, how ya doing? – gives him a cookie- Ok I admit I have problems with sharp objects -looks at 5 swords in room - hehe_

_GreedSeiyaShika_

**Envy: Well, it's an insult to me!!! AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING "KID"!?!? I've lived at least 10 of your lifetimes!!!!! Maybe I get so moody because of all you FREAKS talking to me and messing with me!!!!**

**Ed: …I would get really mad at you for that "midget" comment. You're just lucky that I happened to be hungry and I like cookies. That and I don't really feel like being stabbed by one of those 5 swords…**

_Thanks for answering my questions :)_

_Ed: wear shoes with heels? Like what you do:D I'm kidding of course._

_Roy: Yes, it really is disturbing. . ._

_Al: Yeah! Cats rock. I have 2 of my own. XD_

_Envy: It's weird. I find you a transvestite, but you're my favorite homunculi. . ._

_Ed: It's Ed-proof, meaning no matter how hard you try to make Al give it back, and even if Al tries to give it back, it will alchemically stick to Al. XD What do you have against cats anyway?_

_Riza: can I touch your gun? -pokes gun childishly-_

_Winry: can I borrow your wrench? -takes wrench and hits Ed with it-_

_Ed: that's for being a jerk and not letting Al keep the cat :P_

_Yeah, this time I'm sure that's all I wanted to say. . ._

Fate94 

**Ed: THEY'RE NOT HEELS!!! …But that's the general idea, yeah.**

**Al: Awww!!! Kitties are so cute:3 **

**Envy: …I don't know whether or not to be mad…**

**Ed: I don't have anything against cats; in fact, I rather like them. But I just know that it's going to get killed or hurt, or put into a situation where it could potentially be killed and Al would run in and save it, getting hurt himself. And I ask you: Do you want something like that to happen?**

**Riza: Um…Ok?**

**Ed: OWW!!**

**Winry: HEY! …That's my job :3**

_**(Warning: spoiler alert for chapter 77. Which I did read. Along with chapter 56 of Ouran. Which almost made me cry. …I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM!!)**_

_THANK GOD FOR CHAPTER 77!_

_ED AND AL LIVE!!_

_HALLELUJAH!_

_And you guys are just saying that 'cuz you didn't read chapter 76 WHICH WAS AWESOME!_

_And chapter 77 was AWESOME!_

_And yes, Ed, on your to-do-before-I-die list, number 12 (you have 463) is KISS WINRY! XD_

_Al, you can have a VIRTUAL kitty!! -gives him a little handheld virtual kitty- And here's a manual. -gives him a small packet of paper- Now the worst thing that can happen is that it'll run out of batteries:D_

_Kimbley: Or maybe SOMEONE needs to DIE! -shoots him with an AK-47-_

_Dante: Maybe you do... -shify eyes- HAHA!_

_Yah well... I want you to crochet me a BINKIE now! XD_

_Ed and Winry: Or does it?_

_Roy: You betcha!_

_Havoc: You betcha!_

_Oh, and- ANY ANIME-ONLY CHARACTERS, LET ME SAY THIS NOW- I HATE YOU ALL._

_That includes Noa, Psiren, Armony, that dumb girl-who-surpasses-god, etc._

_But I don't hate Alfons! He's too cute to hate. -glomp- AREN'T YOU! _

_So yah, I guess I leave now. _

_-bricked-_

_-soul flies away-_

September Rhyme 

**Ed: Yeah, I didn't read it…because I LIVED it. AND I DO NOT HAVE A "TO-DO-BEFORE-I-DIE-LIST"!!! And even if I did, there's no way that'd be on it.**

**Al: Awesome! Aww, it's cute!**

**Kimbley: Heh…heh heh heh…You think you can kill me just like that?**

**Dante: …Maybe you're insane.**

**Ed & Winry: …No, it doesn't.**

**Alfons: Should I be glad…? And who surpasses god, again? I don't think that's possible.**

_YAY FURUBA XDXDXD HARU IS AWESOME_

_Why do you people hate country? __Michelle Branch__ is my fav, second only to FullMetal Alchemist Complete Best._

_OK, Envy. I'll accept that you will never crochet a blanket for me. Or knit one, either._

_...could you embroider a pillow for me?_

_Ok, question for you all. Does the average common person in Amestris have an uber-adventurous or at the very least interesting life? Because I'm deciding whether I want to be reincarnated into Amestris or the Naruto universe, and I'm leaning more toward the ninja side, because at least stuff HAPPENS there._

_Advice time: everyone keeps telling me how the switch from 8th grade to freshman year is so hard, and stuff like that, but now that I'm a freshman I'm actually finding it pretty easy. Am I doing something wrong?_

_Thanks._

_HughesHanajima[HakuHavocHinata(the list goes on)HilariaHypocrite_

**Havoc: I don't hate country. It's alright.**

**Fuery: I actually really like country.**

**Envy: I'M NOT DOING SOME STUPID ARTS AND CRAFTS PROJECT FOR YOU!!!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: …I could probably embroider you something lol. Since I pwn at life. I'm better at crosstiching, though. Omfg I should crosstich you a picture of Envy XDDD**

**Ed: Life in Amestris is actually kind of boring, if you think about it. I mean, the most exciting things you can do is learn Alchemy (most people don't do very exciting things with it, though), join the military (if you like war, which I doubt you do), or get involved with automail. But it's a really peaceful place, and a really nice place to live. It's not as stressful as your world in any way whatsoever.**

**Al: Just because you're finding something easy that other people found difficult doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. Usually, people mean that the transition from middle school to high school is difficult, but many people find if much easier than others.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Freshman year is easy, sophomore is the easiest, junior year is the most difficult (trust me on this . ), and senior year is a bit easier. It depends on the courses you take, though, too :P**

_SKE! HALLOS!_

_Envy: YOU'RE SO MEAN! tear But thank you for the blanket! huggles blanket My life is now complete! ties blanket around neck like a cape and glomps Envy_

_Roy: glares You lucky imbecile, it must be pretty tough to get cold in winter when you manipulate fire! seethes_

_Yus, it is very cold, it's been snowing for three days straight. In __Texas __that's practically a record. Big state, not a lot of snow. I'M SO COLD! And I have to trek up and down the snowy block twice a day to feed my friends' animals. It's very evile. Like Envy is evile. That's right, 'evile' evil, and vile. 'Evile'. I think the cold is getting to my brain..._

_Neassa-chan_

**Envy: …Doesn't take much to please you, does it? LET ME GO!**

Roy: That's right. Don't insult me, though; I'll just have my military invade you. Don't worry, it'll warm up soon.

BakaKonekoRKL: At least you don't live in New Jersey…

Envy: …So what was your excuse _before _it got cold?

_Riza, how should I confess my love for another? I'd ask Roy but chances are, he'd try to steal her. ._

_**Stephen**_

Roy: …You think too little of me.

Havoc: He's totally justified in thinking that! It's true!

Roy: …Not necessarily…

Riza: Well, it depends on her personality. All girls are different, you know. She may fall for you if you give her flowers and chocolate, or she could think you're the corniest guy on earth. She may never speak to you again if you tell her how you feel online or through text-messaging, or she could text you right back and tell you that she feels the same way. Personally, I'd try to do it in person, because that's more meaningful, but if you find that too difficult to do, then you could do it over the internet. Maybe even call her up and ask her out, and if everything goes well, tell her how you feel at the end of the date. But like I said, it all depends on her personality and what she likes.

_I really need some advice. Okay, almost everyone in my school is scared of me, and there's this kid in my class who likes one of my best friends, my cousin, and basically every girl in the entire school. What do I do? Also, I have some questions for everyone._

_Ed: Would you like to go to the movies with me? Please?_

_Al: Why do you like cats so much? Also, I think Ed should let you get a kitty. I just got a 6-month old calico kitty named Taphy (Taffy), and they don't really eat a lot of food. Plus I think you are soo cute! If Ed doesn't want to go to the movies with me, will you go with me?_

_Roy: Why do you always tease Ed about his height (no offense, Ed. I'm taller than most of the people in my class). Would you tease me about being so tall?_

_Riza: I think you are soo cool! By the way, if you ever need someone to watch Black Hayate, can I dog-sit for you?_

_Winry: I think you are petty cool too. I mean, you get to hit Ed on the head with your wrench and you never get in trouble (the reason I think that is so cool is because I have 4 brothers who annoy me all the time, even if I poke one of them, I'll get in trouble and I'm the only girl in my family. I was raised by an abusive dad, in the middle of the desert, with no neighbors around for miles.)_

_Wrath: You are soo cute! Do you want a cookie?_

_Envy: You are cool, but why do you look like a palm-tree? (don't worry, I'm not of the people who will ask you to crochet a blanket)_

_Greed: You rock! I have the same sin as you. Why do you look like a shark?_

_Scieszka: The only friends I have that watch FMA say I'm a lot like you._

_**BlackNekoAngelAlchemist**_

Ed: Well…if you don't want that kid who likes your friend to mess with her, you could always use the fact that people are afraid of you to your advantage. Tell him that if he doesn't _really _like her to leave her alone. And if you don't want people to be afraid of you, try changing things about yourself; if you wear a lot of black and look generally gothic, try not to do that as much, be nicer to people, things like that. And while I appreciate your invitation, I'm really not the kind of guy to go on dates and things like that.

Al: I'll go with you, though! Sorry; brother's just like that uo.o Cats are just my preference in animals, just like some people like dogs best.

Roy: 1. Because he's Ed. 2. Because he gets so mad about it. Of course, I don't tease anyone else about their height; it's just my little way of tormenting Ed.

Ed: Gee, thanks.

Riza: Thank you, and of course you can. He usually comes everywhere with me, though.

Winry: Thanks! I hope everything turns out okay for you… ;

Wrath: Yeah!!!

Envy: …I DO NOT!!!

Greed: Heh, thanks. I do?

Scieszka: Cool!

_A Death Note is a notebook used by Death Gods. They write your name in and you die of a hearts attack. OR if you put in the way the will die, they will follow the Death Note's order. Even though I don't like you two, I still want to make sure that you're all safe. SCAR, YOU OWE ME A MEASURING SCALE! (COLONEL MCSPARKY!) That was my friend, I swear! She won't let me delete it! HELP ME!_

_Midnight Hikari (and random friend)_

BakaKonekoRKL: I just want to make it clear that I knew that. In this column, I have to make everyone be like "Huuuuh? What's that?", because it wouldn't make sense for the characters to like know about that kind of stuff lol. But I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm not an idiot, and I do know about a lot of anime (including some that aren't dubbed). Not all of them, of course, but a lot. Oh! I don't want to make you feel bad or anything, but I just wanted people to know. Sorry if that was awkward. I'll be quiet now ;

Scar: …And you honestly think that you're going to get one in return?

Roy: …Well, I could always ignite her for you.

_MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW__MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW__ MEOW MEOW MIX!_

_To Fishface (Scar): No... People just don't say that anymore because they forgot about it. But I didn't! And you already killed me once! Can't kill me twice!_

_To Ed:_

_I watched the French version of episode 13 and... Your voice sounds so sexy in French!_

_To Pony-Boy-Roy:_

_Gimme a YOU'RE!_

_Gimme an ARE!_

_Gimme a B!_

_Gimme an I!_

_Gimme a T!_

_Gimme a C!_

_Gimme an H!_

_What does that spell?_

_YOU'RE A BITCH!_

_-HisokaYukiko_

**Ed: Um…what the hell?**

**Scar: Shut up. That doesn't prevent me from tying you up, gagging you and locking you in a closet, now does it?**

**Ed: Why, thank you. **(inflated ego)

**Roy: …Well you're a jerkwad.**

_More questions and comments from me. Ed & Al- Where do you guys celebrate Thanksgiving? Winry's?_

_Wrath- Here Hands him a turkey, a live turkey Have fun._

_Heiderich- What is your family like?_

_Russell- covers you in garland Christmas, Christmas, __Christmas_

_Moofy-fan_

Ed: We don't celebrate Thanksgiving.

Al: From our understanding, Thanksgiving is a holiday celebrated solely in America, so we don't have a holiday like that.

Ed: But if we did, it would probably be at Winry's house.

Wrath: …WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS!?!?

Heiderich: I don't really talk to them much. We're not exactly "close".

Russell: …Christmas? What's that?

_ello!_

_Envy: You are one of my favs! You totally pwned Ed in the last episode when he goes through the gate! I was like "hahahahaha...wait DUDE THEY ARE BROTHERS?!?!!? WTF?!?!" when I heard you guys are related. Oh and I've been wondering who's identity you stole and why (the one you always use)?_

_Ed: Hehehehe I am 13 and 5'7"!hahahaha I totally can pwn your sorry a! Shorty! lol XD _

_Al: Sorry that your bro is so strict! I mean, you are a very responsible dude...well more than he is, that's for sure! Lol oh and sorry but I must glomp you now! glomp _

_Winry: I know you don't like Ed like that and I love it when you throw wrenches at his head, he needs to be hit to keep him in line! grins_

_Wrath: Why do you hate Izumi? I mean she is your mom and all, and it's not like she wanted to have you become homunculus; she was emotionally unstable at the time._

_Izumi: You are my fave! You always kick Ed's arse!_

_Flame dude-I mean Roy: You are kewl but you need an attitude change! Though I can't blame you for not doing paperwork, it's too god dned annoying! Oh and when Hughes is annoying you with the pics just smile and nod; that's all we can do...well, except burn it but that is a waste of paper! Lol_

_Dante: JUST GO CRAWL INTO A DARK PIT AND DIE...NO BETTER YET SAVE THE POOR_

_DEVIL THE PAIN OF SEEING YER UGLY HAG OF A FACE AND LIVE AS A MOLEMAN NO A_

_MOLEIT CUZ U ARE TO UGLY TO BE CALLED A MAN OR WOMAN THAT WOULD BE INSULTING THE INTIRE GENDER IF I DID! :o_

_Everyone: If you could be a cookie what kind would you be?? Lol I am very random!_

_**songo714**_

Envy: Thanks…but did you really need to remind me of my heritage? Just like how I couldn't remember how I originally looked, I can't remember who's identity I stole, but I probably did it because I liked it and thought it was cute.

Ed: WHY YOU-!! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE COULD BE CRUSHED TO DEATH BY A SNOWFLAKE!?!?!? **(A/N On the day I'm typing this part up, there is/was a delayed opening because it snowed yesterday, even though the roads are totally clear lol. So that's where that came from, if you were wondering :P )**

Al: I think brother's pretty responsible! But that's for the glomp!

Winry: Well, he definitely deserves it sometimes, that's for sure.

Wrath: I only really started hating her after I ate the red stones. If you notice, I only hated her when I ate the stones, really, because they pretty much unleashed my homunculus side.

Izumi: Thank you…but is that really a reason to like me so much?

Roy: An attitude change…? Why should I do that if I'm so much better than everyone else?

Ed: I think that's what she was talking about, dumbass.

Roy: Is that any way to speak to your superior?

Dante: …I think I'm going to turn you into a Philosopher's Stone.

Wrath: I'd be chocolate chip! Because I love chocolate :D

Al: Maybe I'd be one shaped like a cat :3

Winry: Ooh! Could I be one shaped like a wrench?

_Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. I'll try my best! fist in air_

_Ed: Um to make you feel any better um I'm shorter (not in the sense that you are short but the other use) than you. S-since you gave me advise I thought I'd try to m-make you feel better._

_Al: Um y-you can have this pie. You said like pie and hopefully the authoress will pull strings so you can eat it (please)._

_Roy: I don't know if y-you will think this is at all important but in class it talked about some little abbreviations for the colors and it went as ROYGEBIV. R for red, O for orange, and Y for yellow. Those are usually the colors that people associate with fire and I thought it was a teensy bit ironic. If you don't think it is that special then I am sorry for bothering you._

_Thank you again -Yakami_

Ed: Well, good luck. And thanks.

BakaKonekoRKL: This is probably going to go against the laws of physics or something, but… (brings Al and pie behind black curtain so no one can see anything).

Al: Delicious!

Roy: Hm, that's actually pretty cool. I never noticed that before…interesting…

_My god... I'm so sorry I haven't reviewed this in...ever or even replied to your email! I've been really busy with school. Well anyway... I don't remember what I put last time...nor am I going to check._

_Anyway... -looks at all the characters, evil smirk- I'M BACK! MUWAHAHAHA!_

_Russell: Has anyone ever asked you if Fletcher was your son? I'm only asking... because some lady thought my sister was my daughter! I have no idea why she thought that... since I kinda look like a 12 year-old, and my sister is 3!_

_Roy: Have you ever accidentally hit on a girl who was 13 but looked 19?_

_Ed: -hands him a glass of pink liquid- Here... it's a strawberry smoothie. -smiles innocently-_

_Al: I'm giving you a pet! -gives him a ferret- They're like cats…but with a longer body._

_**Shoushin**_

BakaKonekoRKL: Lol, that's ok. I thought you'd died…but I think that about everyone who I don't talk to for long periods of time lol. Pssst…You should get a LiveJournal :D Then you could see all of my crazy rants about Blood+ xD And how sexy Moses is 3 lmao.

Russell: No, thankfully. That's just disturbing.

Roy: No, thank goodness. I'd probably be arrested or something.

Ed: …Why do I not believe you?

Al: A-A ferret?! How is that anything like a cat?

_Thanks for answering!!_

_BakaKonekoRKL- Keep up the good work! Good luck in junior year! College sophomore year is worse, believe me..._

_Ed- it was her idea...(points to Chiiyami, my other me)_

_Chiiyami- It's not really hentai...its part of MPH! (apple in her mouth)_

_Not in front of the kids, yami. Anyway, can you cook? I've read a fanfic that you could cook; and another one that you can't. So...which one is it? I'm curious...(grins)_

_I think that's all for now. Ciao!_

_Ookami Bakura_

BakaKonekoRKL: Oh dear. I can only imagine. (shudders) Well, I have bronchitis (which will probably be gone by the time you read this lol), so I get a bit of time off…Which I'll mostly be using to work on this lol.

Ed: …I don't think I want to know. Well, I can cook a little…not really well, or anything really amazing, of course, but when you're out on the road with no towns for miles, you've gotta have some cooking knowledge. Usually it's just roasting something over an open flame, but I've helped people (mostly Winry) cook before. In all, I'm not a chef, but I can cook enough to sustain myself.

_Whee!_

_Anyway, question time_

_Envy: I SAID Palm Tree_

_Authoress: Do you watch Bleach?_

_Ed: I WILL NEVER GET OFF YOU- HEY!! IT'S TOSHIRO (from Bleach)! (as you can guess, I'm high on coffee)_

_Rose: Why wasn't your kid in the movie?_

_Roy: NEVER!_

_Al: Aww...you're...you're too nice…_

_ADVICE TIME!!_

_I have the same problem as Neassa-chan, I can never get enough sleep during the weekday, and because of that I'm failing most of my classes. OH, and I have a stabbing pain near my heart, but my parents don't seem to care. My dad's girlfriend is a nurse! I need a therapist because I often think of committing suicide because my life sucks, and just for the record, I'm not emo, just goth. I often think that I'll snap and severely hurt someone. Have any advice other than getting some professional therapy?_

_Namine.Yamaro_

_someone who's life sucks DX_

Envy: I'm not a fcuking palm tree!!!!!

BakaKonekoRKL: Yup. But I've only seen as far as Adult Swim has shown (damn Canadians, stealing Bleach…lol j/k. Canadians are kewl xD ). My sister is a Bleach junkie and always watches it online, but I watch Loveless (which is dubbed in English, btw, did you know? lmao), Kage Kara Mamoru, Karin, and things like that (if you wanna know what anime I'm into, there's a complete list in my profile :D ). Oh, and Toshiro is her favorite character, like, she's obsessive over him, so watch out lol.

Ed: Someone gets distracted easily…

Rose: He was. Remember when Al first showed up? He was playing with some kids in the street.

Al: Thank you :

Ed: Well…did you try the things we suggested to her? I know for sure that they make special tea and stuff to help you go to sleep, so try drinking that right before you go to bed, or try changing your sleeping patterns little by little (like go to bed 10 minutes before the previous night).

BakaKonekoRKL: I feel the same way a lot. Read some of my LJ entries; you'll see. Fortunately, I've found someone who makes my life meaningful :3

Al: Well, you could always try doing more things that make you happy. Give yourself more "you time"; watch anime on this "YouTube" thing, read humorous fanfiction and your other favorite genres, become parts of different online communities (like BakaKonekoRKL said, LiveJournal. That's a really good place to meet/talk to people and also a good place to vent.) and make friends there (often, online people are friendlier, or at least act so, than real-life friends). Go for walks and hang out with friends more, and just do things for fun. Hope everything works out ok!

_Envy: Know what? I started reading the manga and I found out that I like you WAY better in that than the series. You actually make me laugh in the manga. It's strange though, I still hate you when I watch the anime..._

_Ed: Hahaha! Lol, you just said awesome...-pokes-_

_Al: I like tabby kitties myself. -huggles Mikey- Al, Mikey, Mikey, Al. Mikey's my gray tabby cat whose the cuddly type. He loves anyone who hugs him._

_Winry: You make me laugh...I like when you throw wrenches at Ed's head. For some reason I find that extremely funny...0.o_

_Greed: I had a weird dream that you kidnapped my family because you had everything in the world but a family. I was like NO! -karate chop- Which hurt cause of your shield thing... I lost...and you stole my family. -sniff- Just so ya know._

_Gluttony: I had a dream about your face, and I woke up screaming. XP That probably went over your head. _

_Wrath: You should meet my school counselor. (She uses 'The Happy Place' method) I dislike her, you would too._

_Luff from,_

_Onna-san_

Envy: Um…Is that a good thing?

Ed: …Could you NOT poke me?

Al: Aww!! (pets Mikey) He's so cute!! I'd hug him, but I don't wanna hurt him ;

Winry: Hee, thanks!

Greed: I think that says somethings. One of them is that you're insane. But I probably wouldn't want to take your family unless I could profit off of it somehow.

Gluttony: …Food?

Wrath: …Can I just kill her instead?

BakaKonekoRKL: I second that --; Those people always piss me off lol.

_Konnichiwa, you crazy peoples. (Not like I can talk...)_

_Michael Jackson. Old black dude that bleached his skin and likes little boys. REALLY relates to a CERTAIN PALM TREE._

_Well yeah._

_And now my classmates know I'm an atheist. They had no clue until now. Morons. And I guess no matter what I do I'll be considered smart since I can think of things OTHER than losing my virginity. For Christ's sake, I'm 13.And some kids my age claim to have got laid. My town is seriously f—ked up. I have a little brother!! His name is Ryan, and he's for sale! Take him if_

_ya wanna. Please do. Winry, take his __MP3 player__ apart. Scar, blow his head off. Just get the little horror monkey outta my hair. Gawd._

_This is just a random listy thing if what would happen if I met y'all in person._

_Ed and Al: Give y'all cookies. You rawk._

_Winry: Ya wanna take apart my old crappy stereo?_

_Mustang: I would kick you in the crotch until you fell to your knees and begged me for mercy, ya wannabe man ._

_Scar: throw some breakfast items at ya. Eggs and bacon. I don't eat breakfast, see._

_Envy: I'd kick you in the crotch with some __Wal-Mart__steel toe boots__ and whack you upside the head with my metal baseball bat until you stopped regenerating. I hate __tropical plants__, okay?!_

_Erm..._

_Tucker: I'd blast you with a __fire extinguisher_

_Greed: I'd pay Stretchy to give you a Hitler. (Mustache made of human waste product)_

_Wrath: I'd throw kunai at you, boy._

_Armstrong: I will FUSE A T-SHIRT TO YOUR FLESH._

_Gluttony: Got some diet campaign things for ya, fat a-s._

_And now the issue. Them weirdos at school, they think I'm anorexic now. D-mn preps, starting rumors... Yes, I'm skinny. Underweight. A tad bony. But I don't have no eating disorder. Y'all believe me, right? Well yeah. Ya know why I'm so thin? Family thing. Real good metabolism. I weigh 86 pounds. And I'm 13. Frightening._

_Well okay. Such a long, worthless review. And my cat squeaks. Tis strange._

_Goodbye, all._

_ENVY-MUSTANG-AND-SCAR-MUST-DIE_

_Comment on my username. I DARE you._

**Envy: HOW IS THAT ANYTHING LIKE ME!?!? SINCE WHEN DO I LIKE LITTLE BOYS AND BLEACH MY SKIN!!?**

**Ed: So? I'm an atheist. There are so many more things that disprove the existence of a god than prove it. Just ignore the idiots. Change schools, if you can.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: At least you're not me. My town is completely straight, christain and white. And I've broken the first two things, fun for me --; People in my school are anti-anything-different-from-themselves, and they all- every single one of them, I swear, minus me, my friends, and maybe like 3 other people- do drugs and have sex. Hope that cheered you up lol :D**

**Ed: …Anyway. Just ignore them. And really, a brother should be someone who's very important to you; just look at me and Al. You should try to have a good relationship with him. **

**Winry: …I'd like to play with this "MP3 player", though!**

**Ed: But thanks for the cookie! Well…if you met us I'd thank you.**

**Al: I would, too, except I can't eat cookies ; sorry!**

**Winry: I'd love to!!!**

**Mustang: And I'd set you on fire before you could.**

**Scar: …Is that meant to be insulting?**

**Envy: Well I would just kill you first!!!!**

**Tucker: **(whispering) **Well, you wouldn't be able to find me, so you wouldn't be able to.**

**Greed: My men could just kill you and this "Stretchy" person before you could.**

**Wrath: Well…I'd dodge them! And kill you!**

**Armstrong: I DOUBT IT!**

**Gluttony: Do I get to eat them?**

**Ed: Like I said before, just ignore them. If it seems like nothing they do is bothering you, they won't have a reason to pick on you or anything. And anyway, if you're not intentionally starving yourself, then being skinny is a good thing, right? But maybe you could try eating breakfast. Even if you don't like breakfast foods, make a sandwich or something like that that you **_**do **_**like. If it's really bothering you, you can see a doctor about it.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Yeah, my science teacher in 7****th**** grade had the same problem when she was younger, so the doctor gave her some chocolate milkshake things to help her gain weight, and she's perfectly healthy now! But honestly, I'd just ignore them. Don't worry, I'll bet my cats are weirder lol. Eh!? I thought "Envy Mustang and Scar Must Die" was your username! Was I supposed to be putting the other one???? (Sorry, I'm a tad delusional from the bronchitis meds --; )**

_Hey you people with the face!_

_You took so long to update! _

_Any way, good news! Or bad in Ember's opinion. Edward D. SPAMed me while you were taking your sweet time to answer. Ask if you don't know what that means._

_Envy people don't like you very much do they?_

_(sits down with sign that says 'Envy is a homunculus not a palm tree')_

_And what's with these idiots that think you can crochet?_

_Baka check my new story!_

_Byes!_

_(gives cookies)_

_Maire blaze_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Ahhh!!!!!!!! Gomenasai, gomenasai, gomenasai!!!! I knew something like this was going to happen D: I'm so sorry! Well, if you killed my French teacher, you'd def be getting answers sooner . . Not that I'm telling you to do that, of course. Ano…I'm not entirely sure what that means…if you want advice on it, you'll probably have to give me more info…maybe. Unless you were just saying it, then I got it lol. I'll try to check it if I get the chance/I'm not delusional ( -- ). And remember, just because I don't review doesn't mean I haven't read it. I'm a weird person, leave me alone lol.**

**Envy: Nope, but I can't say I like them all that much either. You don't seem too bad, though. Well, I said something SCARCASTICALLY about me crocheting once, and, well, it was all downhill from there.**

_Yayy, I'm back!_

_Envy is still awesome and pwnsome D_

_Wrath is still cute! 3_

_Yeah, well, now I have a problem. She came over to my house, and my uncle's a mechanic, and I was helping him, and I was holding the sacred wrench. Now here comes the bad part. She was all 'And like, she was like, 'no way!' and I was like, 'totally!'' and all that, and I got so annoyed..._

_...wait for it..._

_I actually threw ze sacred wrench at her. I feel totally guilty and satisfied at the same time. I broke her wrist. But the funny feeling is that I feel more satisfied than guilty. In fact, the guiltiness is fading away. But now she's hanging onto me like a leech. She's SCARED OF ME. Is that bad...?_

_Also, to Havoc: I'm going through a non-Roy Mustang phase. You're awesome, but not as awesome as Envy, because he pwns you all._

_Envy: -shakes hand- Your pwnsome-ness surpasses everything! I learned how to draw you, too! I usually draw you with a weapon (ordinarily with a chainsaw, don't ask why...) and occasionally a headless Ed in the background...does that make me insane?!_

_Ed: I used to love you. But I was eight and didn't know any better. Anyways, my friend was about as tall as you, and she keeps telling me that I'm too tall. But I told her to drink milk, now she's ALMOST as tall as me. You may hate milk, but why don't you compromise?_

_Winry: Yer, you're kool D But do you get uncomfortable wearing your normal outfit? You know, the one with the book tube and everything? It looks cool, and not even a bit slutty (yay piercings!). You know what? Here, have a wrench. -gives a gold wrench with Winry's name on it-_

_Al: I went to __New Zealand__, which was cool, and everyone's so nice. It reminds me of you, and now every time I go to NZ I forget about everyone else (except Envy 8D ) and start to go through an Al fan girl phase. But it's gone. But since I love my NZ alter ego...I request a hug and a kiss on the cheek! Please? 3 BTW, I like you with long hair instead of short hair. Short suits Alfons _

_Alfons: You're so nice to let Ed go through the gate with your rocket. If only we could've spared you..._

_Noa and Rose: Somehow, I don't think you look so much alike as everyone says. Rose, you're the 'Holy Mother' right? Is Ishbala God in our world, or is that a different religion? It'd be cool if it were the counterpart of Christianity, though, because I'm Christian D_

_Dante: You rock. I didn't acknowledge you much as first, and I thought you were a downright nutter, but then I saw that bit where we found out that you tried to save Hohenhiem, and I thought, 'Wow, that's so touching. She's not that bad after all.' and now...yeah. You look nice in Lyra's body, by the way. How come William doesn't bear any resemblance to you? _

_Ed (again...): I've officially decided that you're really brave. 10 points to Gryffindor!_

_Ag. That was way too long. Anyways, see yas! -blows a kiss to Al-_

_Wrath and Liberality_

**Envy: …Yeah, some people aren't too bad.**

**Wrath:3**

**Envy: First of all, why would she "cling to you like a leech" if she was scared of you? Secondly, who cares if she's hurt? Tell the stupid kid to stop bugging you!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Envy…I don't think that's the kind of advice you should be giving.**

**Envy: Who cares!?**

**Havoc: Well…at least you like me better than the Colonel…**

**Envy: Of course you're not insane! You just have really good taste…**

**Ed: No, I think it's kind of creepy. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO "COMPROMISE" WITH THAT STUFF!?!?!**

**Winry: Thanks! No, actually, it's really comfortable for me, mostly because it can get so hot when working with automail in the shop, and it's also good because there's no sleeves or anything to get in the way, or anything that could get caught on something.**

**Al: Aw, thanks! Okey! **(hugs and kisses on cheek)

**Alfons: That's alright, I was going to die from tuberculosis soon anyway, so I figured, why not do something with some meaning before I die?**

**Noa: I hadn't thought so either…**

**Rose: I'm not really sure if there's and Earth equivalent to Ishbala…if anything, it's probably the characteristics of several religions combined.**

**Dante: Touching…right…well, thank you. Some traits are recessive traits, and therefore don't show up in the children.**

**Ed: …What the hell?**

_Okay, I actually have a serious question that I want to ask, for once. And I'd like everyone's opinions on this, except for Dante, because her advice would probably suck, and have something to do with me constructing the Stone, which will happen the same day that there's a blizzard in Hell._

_Anyway, I'm currently going out with a guy that I've had a monstrous crush on since I was 16. I'm 19 right now. He's really awesome, and I like him a lot. Recently, he told me that he wants to marry me once we've graduated from college, and that he loves me. There's only one problem though; he doesn't believe in some of the same things that I do, and that's a bit of a problem with some of my family members. My family likes him though, so that's not a problem, it's just that... I've started questioning some of the stuff that's gone on between us, and where it will go. We've been dating for about five months, almost six, and I'm starting to wonder about what I should do. There is no way in HELL that I can mention this to my parents, because they will FREAK if they find out that my boyfriend wants to marry me eventually._

_Now, on to my second question. And it also involves a boy. Geez, what is it with me and boy troubles? Boys didn't even start looking my way until I turned 18, and now I have all this junk hitting me at once!_

_Anyways, my ex-boyfriend started stalking me a few months ago when I started college, and when I finally snapped and told him to bugger off, it stopped for about a month or so. Now, he's started doing it again, and I'm about ready to pull a page out of Hawkeye's book and leave a nice outline of him in the wall with bullet holes. Maybe he'll get the hint if I do something like that. And he already knows that I have a boyfriend right now, so that obviously isn't deterring him. Asides from hiring a bodyguard, what should I do? Actually, that might not be such a bad idea. _

_Hey Greed, want a job?_

_Now, on to my less serious questions._

_Envy:_

_1. (In response to my last review) Actually, I do know where your human remains are. They're sitting under my desk in my room in a cardboard box by my feet right now. You don't want to know what I had to go through to find them. I wonder what'll happen if I 'accidentally' introduce them to lighter fluid and a match._

_2. (See Ookami Bakura's response) You know, people would leave you alone if you didn't blow up like that. It's just too much fun to insult you and watch you go ballistic. _

_Mustang:_

_1. (In response to my last review) Sorry, but there is just no way that I will ever willingly say that I'm going out with you. If I ever do, you'll want to check my temperature to make sure that I'm not sick, because the only way I'll ever say that is if I'm hallucinating. Sure, you're a good-looking guy, but the fact that you have an ego that makes the entire European/Asian sub-continent look small is a HUGE turnoff. That, and you being a one-eyed bastard just doesn't appeal to me. I'd sooner go out with Havoc or Al in a heartbeat, because they're both just plain sweet guys. I'd probably go out with Ed too, but the fact that I have a temper and so does he, might not turn out too well. We'd probably get into a fistfight within ten minutes of being in the same room. It'd still be fun though. (Walks up to Mustang and dumps a full bucket of water over his head.) Wet match. (Runs off)_

_Oh, and here's a warning to Mustang: a guy friend of mine says that he's going to jump you and steal your uniform. He also said that once he had done that, he was going to leave you stranded in the middle of Central in just your boxers. I'm telling you this because even though I don't like you, I don't think that anyone deserves that kind of humiliation._

_Ed: If this still happens anyway, make sure that you get pictures. Finals are coming up and I need something to laugh at._

_Well, that's it for now. See you all later!_

_Wandering Hitokiri_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Ano, I cut that one part out just so no one would be offended or anything…I was considering putting it in, but then the medicine wore off and I could think again…so thanks for your concern, and I think others may have similar feelings, but you understand why I had to cut it, ne?**

**Winry: Don't commit to anything just yet. If you've only been going out for half a year, there's still a good chance that, unfortunately, you two may break up. That would solve all the problems, though, and it is probably likely to happen. If you have the same dilemma a year or two after you graduate, then follow Ed's advice.**

**Ed: Why me…? Ok, well. First off, if you're already questioning the things going on between you, then that's a good sign that things aren't going to work out **(A/N based on my own personal experiences)**. But if it seems like everything's still completely fine between you two a year or two after you graduate, well, you can do what you want to by then, right? If your parents try to get in the way then, just let them know that after years of dating him, you know what you're doing.**

**Al: But until then, you shouldn't really worry about it. Just don't let him take advantage of you, and don't make any decisions right now, unless you decide that you really don't like him anymore. As soon as you feel like that is the case, you should break up with him, or you will probably regret it.**

**Riza: …That may be illegal. I'm just saying. Instead, why don't you tell someone about it? A teacher or guidance councilor would be a good idea, or maybe you could even tell your current boyfriend about the situation and he can get this guy off of your back. Or you could try talking to him yourself…I just wouldn't do it in a dark alley; make sure people are around. And if he's really stalking you, tell the police about it.**

**Greed: …How much does it pay?**

**Envy: ……I guess I have no choice but to believe you (for now, anyway). I'll get them back, though! I wouldn't "blow up" if you people would just shut the hell up about me! If you look at it that way, it's like a never-ending circle, right? And I'm not gonna be the one to end it, either!**

**Roy: …You hate me that much, huh? Well, there's plenty of other fish in the sea- ARGH! Great, now I can't even dry myself off with my gloves. Thanks a lot. Don't worry, I'd never let something like that happen.**

**Ed: Heh, I'd have done it even if you hadn't asked me to.**

_**Yaaaay! I did it! Lol. If anything seems off…well, that's because this bronchitis medicine makes me slightly crazy. But considering that, don't you feel loved knowing that I worked through my sickness just to bring this chapter to you all:D Well you should lol. Over the time period that I worked on this, I went through about a trillion different emotions- seriously, just look at my LJ lol. Actually, maybe you shouldn't lol. It jumps around everywhere…**_

_**Anywho, I'll probably be swarmed with homework again soon…I should get another chapter out during winter vacation (aka christmas vacation), but I don't know about before then…maybe. Well, enjoy:D**_


	68. Chapter 68

Sorry yet again that it took so long to update (Microsoft Word ate my face off, so I had a tad of an ordeal getting it to work again sweatdrop) Sorry, something kinda terrible happened to me though, so I've been dealing with life for a while…and as a result of all that, for those of you who were checking out my LiveJournal page, I won't be updating to edokunslover anymore, and xsayaotanashix is my new username there, so please check that out! (it's friends-only, though, for the same reason, so just let me know if it's you) I hope everyone had terrific holidays and that the new year is great to you (as long as it's better than my last few days of 2007, it should be awesome). Ah, but yes, good news: I finally got contacts:D Yay!!!!

I also have a DEVIANTART account; look for KibaInuzuka314 because that's me!!! Watch me, and I'll watch you lol.

_**Also…My mom is cosplaying as Trisha for AnimeNEXT 2008 (and yes, I'm sewing her costume. I CAN SEW NOW!! BEWARE!!):D It's in NJ…you guys should try to come! Let me know if you do :3 lol. That would be rad :D But I thought I'd start trying to force you to come ahead of time lol.**_

_Hi!! Um...my doggy got his hair cut off and he looks like a rat!! XD_

_...I wanna get a death note, do you guys know where I could find one? I want one cuz Death Note is like my second favorite anime now but FMA is still number one! Oh and the other day I got a 58 on my math test, and I got a bunch of 70s on other tests, and then a week later or so I get this letter saying I got a high achievement award for the first marking period! Isn't that funny? So yeah...what's new with you peoples? _

_-HanaNoHaru_

**Al: Aww! Is he a small dog? What kind is he?**

**Ed: A magical little land that we like to call "e-bay" should sell Death Notes. If you can't find any there, try Amazon's website. And of course, if you go to anime conventions, they sell them there.**

**Al: You're not gonna use it to kill people, are you!?**

**Roy: …Feel free to kill the Fuhrer, so a new one will be chosen, and therefore I can become Fuhrer!**

**Ed: No! It should be used for something important, like killing the homunculi and stuff!**

**Roy: Me becoming Fuhrer is important! And the Fuhrer is a homunculus, anyway!**

Ed: Well maybe if you weren't such a selfish bastard- Al: B-Brother…um…maybe you should calm down a bit… 

_Hay-o! _

_What dose Gomenasai mean?_

_Okay I guess I should talk to some one else now..._

_Ed: you're taller than me, wahh! Not fair dude, I can't grow!_

_Al: people keep giving you kitties in my FMA penpals thing... They're cute but they don't make the distinction between their scratching post and my legs... stop them please!_

_Envy: Ember says she'll crochet the blankets if they keep annoying you about it..._

_That's about it..._

_TTFN!_

_(gives every one lots of cookies)_

_Marie Blaze_

_Alchemist and Author._

**BakaKonekoRKL: **(referring to non-edited review) **Ok, that's what I thought. Just checking lol. And gomenasai means sorry…My sister is obsessed with a song by the same name --**

**Ed: I'm taller than someone! Ah ha ha! Ah…sorry…Well, it could be because of genes, the fact that you're a girl (no offense, but girls usually tend to be shorter than guys, on average), or your age (not that I know how old you are). As much as I hate to say it, you should probably drink milk…that should work…or you could take growth hormones, if it's that bad, but you'd have to see a doctor about that first.**

**Al: A-Alright! Sorry about that!**

**Envy: Ah ha…yes, thank you…that should keep them off my back for a while…**

_To Scar: _

_Not if I do it to you first!_

_FISHBALALAMALAMA!_

_To Horse-ass:_

_A JERKWAD! HAHAHA! I'd rather be a jerkwad than a bitch!_

_HisokaYukiko_

**Scar: As if you could. And would you quit saying that!?**

**Roy: …You need therapy…or…something…**

_HALLO!_

_Envy: No, it doesn't take much to please me. Now just stop and think of all the trouble you could have saved yourself by just giving me a blanket in the first place... And my excuse before it got cold was the heat!_

_Roy: Yes, yes, I'm so scared of your 'military'._

_Okays, now I need some advice on two topics. First thing, I'm having a bit too much stress. And by, 'a bit too much' I mean I can feel my pulse in my brain. Ow. This of course is caused by school, and since I'm normally a very laid back person, I'm not coping well._

_Second thing, remember the friend I often speak of? We became such good friends because I introduced her to anime and that's what got us to talk to each other, but now her parents have banned her from anime and manga and anyone who loves anime should know how horrific it would be if all of that was suddenly yanked out from under you. And she doesn't have internet, either. So I want to help her, but if her parents suspect I'm letting her watch anime or read manga at my house, they may ban her from seeing me. Such a thin line I am walking, yes?_

_Third thing, yet, I know I said only two, but I just remembered this. I've been having some pretty psychotic dreams lately. And by 'psychotic', I mean gory. Like dismemberment and blood gory. (If you want more specific details go to my __Xanga__, it's on my profile page.) And I haven't been watching anything gory lately so I don't know why, weird, yes? And people wonder why I'm an insomniac..._

_Neassa-chan_

Envy: If you'd SAID that it didn't matter if it was from me or not, I would've given you a stupid blanket 60 chapters ago!!!

**Roy: You should be.**

**Al: You could try doing yoga, or something like that which relieves stress. Also, dividing up your time between work and fun is important; don't slack off so much that you get no work done, but don't work so hard that work becomes all you do. Have other people help you study, and if you have a job, try to cut down your hours.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: kills self on question #2**

**Winry: You could always try talking to her parents. Adults commonly misunderstand anime; they see it as too gory, too pornographic, or just too stupid. If you could show them that not all anime is like that, perhaps they'd reconsider. I don't know what kinds of things they don't like; for example, if they're ok with cursing but blood and guts is completely out, so if you wanted to try that or wanted to talk with them, it would be up to you to figure out what to show them.**

**Ed: OR you could just not let them find out. If you lock yourselves in your room, put headphones in or keep the volume really low, and no one tells anyone, they won't find out. But don't do it if you think it's too risky. I mean, I could pull it off, but I wouldn't wanna see you get in trouble.**

**Winry: Suuuure you could pull it off. Just like how you get your automail pulled off every other day.**

**Ed: …You know what?**

**Al: A-As for your third question, it should go away soon. They should be gone by the time this is up.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Hey! I had a lot of stuff going on!**

**Riza: If you have these dreams for a long time, it may be because of anything that's been happening in your life. You may want to research what exactly influences your dreams and how specifically they influence them.**

_Yah, I kinda forgot everything I was talking about before..._

_-bricked-_

_Anyway,_

_NO WORRY, HAVOC, I'VE FOUND SOMEONE NEW TO BE OBSESSED WITH!_

_BakakonekoRKL, remember when you pulled in Shikamaru? I hope you know this guy from Naruto well enough..._

_-magically pulls out a 16-year-old Jonin with long black hair out of magic-magic tralala land-_

_May I introduce all you FMA peeps to the one and awesome and mighty and great and awesome--bricked- fine, gosh... NEJI!_

_-glomps Neji-_

_I know, this is supposed to be about FMA...But I just wanted to let Havoc know that he wouldn't be having a mentally unstable girl on his back. :)_

_Anyway... yes, Dante, I can't believe it took you so long to figure that out._

_And I know, Alfons, that's what makes her stupid (even though I'm agnostic, it's still stupid)._

_Anyway..._

_-glomps Neji again-_

_Shippuden Neji is so great..._

_BYE FMA PEEPS!_

_So Neji, what would you do if you got stuck in a closet with Tenten, eh...?_

_This is the one and only, crazy and slightly demented, Neji-obsessed_

_September Rhyme, signing out._

_XD_

BakaKonekoRKL: …Oh my…remind me to never do that. Ever. Again. head/desk 

**Havoc: Which girl? You or the one you just pulled out of nowhere?**

**Dante: **(evil glare) **Don't make me do unspeakable things to you.**

**Neji: …**(uses Byakugan-al powers to escape)

_HI! Heh, it's ok Ed you won't get stabbed unless you really annoy me, I guess we're at peace for now. Envy…you're one to talk…I defended you and this is how you repay me? -gives a deadly cold glare in Envy's Direction.- _

_GreedSeiyaShika_

**Ed: Oh…ok…that's ok then…**

**Envy: Hey, what do you expect from me?**

_I've got some questions for Wrath and Envy._

_1. Wrath, do you realize you're scamming off the Envy look? I mean, seriously, you're wearing the same thing, exactly . _

_2. How do you get around with Ed's mismatched arm and leg? It's gotta be hard._

_3. You need to get over Ed. Seriously_

_For Envy_

_1. Do you ever rape people? I mean you kill people but ever tried to rape?_

_2. Are you GAY?_

_3. Why don't you just submit to desire and DO IT with Ed, I mean you already wear those tight skimpy clothes for him why not go farther?_

_ALEX_

**Wrath: Uh, so? I like them, HAVE A PROBLEM!? It's not really hard, since they're the right length and all. YOU NEED TO SHUT UP. SERIOUSLY.**

**Envy: …WHAT THE HELL!? You're sick…NO, I've never raped anyone! And I'm obviously not gay! And why would I want to do **_**anything **_**with that little pipsqueak other than kill him!?**

_More questions and comments from me. Al or anyone else- My best friend who I care about more then anything and I just got out of this huge fight, and I really want to spend time with just her, but things haven't been going my way. This thing at lunch made us sit apart all week, the only class I have her in she's always talking to this one girl, and on the bus she talks to someone else, too. It's really been starting to bug me, but I'm pretty clingy to her in the first place, what should I do? She's always really emotional and a lot of stuff can set her over the edge._

_Ed- It snowed where I live! But we didn't get off school...You like snow?_

_Wrath- Here. hands you snowball Now, throw it at Envy, I promise it will piss him off._

_Roy- Everyone calls you a pirate, but I was thinking, what if you were a GNOME! ...you still wouldn't be any better..._

Moofy-fan 

Al: Maybe she's just trying to make new friends. Try to give her some more space, but if you want to hang out with her, why don't you see if she wants to go to the movies or mall or something one weekend or after school one day?

**Ed: Yeah, snow is really nice.**

**Wrath: **(stares at snowball) **Why would I do that?**

**Roy: …A…gnome…? Yeah…What the hell?**

_Haha XD_

_Envy: It was both an insult and a compliment._

_Ed: Hmm. That is a good point...oh fine. you win. Happy?_

_Al: Al, I'm sorry...I need to take the cat back..._

_Riza: Really? Can I try shooting something with it? -takes gun and shoots at something random-_

_Roy: -almost gets hit by bullet- whoopsie...-gives gun back to Riza- hehehe...sorry, Roy :D_

_Winry: Yeah. It is your job. And you do a great heck of it :)_

_-Fate94 :3_

Envy: …Oh. Well then.

**Ed: Haha…yes.**

**Al: Awww…okay, bye-bye kitty!**

**Riza: **(sweatdrops)

**Roy: Hey!! …Ok, never tough a gun again…**

**Winry: Aw, thanks!**

_dammit... my computer won't load chapter 67...BASTARD!_

_Okay, so who wants my little brother? He's a wannabe gangster and a momma's boy. Take him. Feed him to Gluttony. JUST GET HIM OUT OF MY FACE...-foams at mouth-_

_...My friend Boken is madly in love in Mustang. I think she might be on crack. Mustang's old, gay, and FUGLY._

_And I hate the EdXRoy and EdXEnvy pairings; they make me sick. Edward, you are NOT gay. I wouldn't put it past Mustang or Envy, but yeah..._

_And I got grounded for six months. Ya know why? I got a B. No lie. Just because my parents are among the masses of morons that think I'm smart. And the newest issue? I'm an introvert. Anti-social. No like people I no know. But people think I'm all nice and friendly and stuff. WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE. I tried black, and lots of it. That started rumors of me being emo (and the eraser thing kinda helped it along too...) and didn't help. AND these morons think that just because I have no interest in dating (MAN GERMS, ICK) and run away from guys screaming that I'm homosexual or something. And that sucks, because I'm not. And men me off. All three of the crackheads that asked me out tried being my friend first. I've learned not to trust them. Arrogant nuggets..._

_Envy. You seriously need ta go play in traffic. You're more of a GIRL than I am. And seeing as you're SUPPOSED to be male, that's depressing. Die. Or I shall KEEL you with my metal baseball bat. Do NOT screw with a southern chick, especially not one as demented as I am._

_To Alphonse: My friend Leeta-san LOVES you. Be proud._

_To Edward: You know, I could name a person that likes you quite a lot but you'd be so disturbed you'd probably attempt suicide. And that'd be bad. Yups...Oh, and you are not short. You're taller than me, senpai. I'm only thirteen, but still...If you seriously wanna know who likes you among the other few million, then ask me NICELY. But you're really not going to like it, senpai. _

_To Mustang: I hate you. You gay. You die._

_To Izumi: You rawk. I'm serious. _

_To Scar: You gay. You die._

_To Wrath: ...you remind me of my younger brother so much it's eerie. Both momma's boys. Both queers. Erm-hrm. Yup._

_And so ends the novel-review of the hyprocrite atheist who is sadly NOT cool enough to be goth but wears so much back and listens to so much disturbing hard rock people thinks she is anyways and can also easily disguise herself as a boy AND wears boys clothing five sizes too large and has three siblings and uses the word 'and' too much and is obsessed with food that has no healthful benefit. –takes huge breath-_

_signed:_

_Envy-MUSTANG-AND-SCAR-MUST-DIE_

_A.K.A._

_"that weird kid"_

Ed: …Isn't downloading things like that illegal? Isn't it things like that that made Geneon go out of business?

**Gluttony: Eat! Eat!**

**Roy: Please, if thousands of girls like me, then that obviously can't be true. And why would I be dating women if I was gay!?**

**Envy: …What the hell!?!? Ok, I think you have some issues that you need to work out, alright? Come back and talk to me when you're sane, or I won't think twice about killing you!**

**Al: Cool! I am! )**

**Ed: …Um, a lot of girls like me, so it's alright…but I'm not entirely sure I want to know now…And what's with calling me senpai? 0o**

**Roy: …Didn't we already go over this!?!?**

**Izumi: Thank you.**

**Scar: I'm not, and unless you want to feel the power of this arm, I suggest you shut up.**

**Wrath: WHAT!? HOW DARE YOU!?!?**

_This is my first time asking, so, be warned if I decide to annoy you..._

_Ed:_

_-You're my favorite character on the show and WAY better than Colonel Egomaniac (in my opinion)_

_-You should just let Al get a cat so people will leave you alone. Seriously, cats don't need much attention, since they're independent and can hunt._

_-Why don't you like milk!? It tastes good! Just drink it and you'll grow (not saying you're short)_

_Al:_

_-You're SO cute! hugs_

_-You can get a cat that can hunt and care for itself. And it can fight back! I love cats, but my dad hates them and my brother's allergic:(_

_-It must be tough putting up with a hot-head like Ed..._

_Winry:_

_-I don't know why people hate you, you're cool._

_-It's funny when you hit Ed. How many times have you whacked him with your wrench?_

_Roy:_

_-You should stop picking on Ed, you egotistical jerk!_

_-STOP STEALING HAVOC'S GIRLFRIENDS!! Why do you even care that he has a girlfriend!? Is it because you want to make his life hell?_

_-Do your paperwork or I will spray you with water and repeatedly poke you until you complete it :) starts to poke_

_Riza:_

_-Good job keeping the Colonel in line, keep it up_

_-I don't like guns, but you're a pretty good shooter. Where did you learn to shoot?_

_-Do you know any alchemy and if you did, what alchemy would you use (Roy and his flames, Armstrong and his freakish strength, etc.)?_

_Izumi:_

_-You are my idol! Sorry, you're just plain awesome_

_-Why are you so harsh on Ed and Al? _

_I will be back with more comments/questions_

_Glowworm6_

**Ed: I have the same opinion…But no, we're not getting a freaking cat, alright! If it got lost hunting, we'd have to go looking for it, and what if it gets killed? AND I'M NOT DRINKING THAT DISGUSTING OPAQUE LIQUID!!!**

**Al: w Thanks! Aw, that's sad…Maybe when you're older and you've moved out you can get a cat, though! Ha ha, yes, brother can be a bit of a pain sometimes…**

**Winry: Thanks! It's probably because I abuse Ed so much…But hey, he deserves it for breaking my masterpieces! And to answer your question…more times than I can count!**

**Roy: …Why? It's so amusing. I honestly don't care who Havoc dates; sometimes I don't even know that he's dating those girls. But it's their fault, too, for not refusing my offers for dates- and his, for not being able to hold on to a woman.**

**Havoc: Hey! Don't go blaming this on me! It's entirely your fault!!**

**Roy: …Anyway. I'm doing my paperwork now, alright? Happy?**

**Riza: Thanks. I've been shooting for years now; I can't say I learned at any one place; I picked up bits and pieces from several different places. I don't know Alchemy, but if I did…I think I'd like to use something with water, to cool off the Colonel.**

**Roy: Hey!**

**Izumi: Thank you. I'm so harsh on them because I don't want them to make the same mistakes as me; I don't want to see them hurt. Plus, it's a way that I show affection.**

_I followed Envy's advice and told her to bug off!_

_And she did!_

_HIGH FIVE! high fives everyone_

_Dante: Too bad William didn't look more like you. You look prettier than Hohenhiem, and I think William would've looked nicer. Have you ever thought about Hohenhiem, by the way? Like, missed him? I reckon he was an idiot to abandon you. Why did Gluttony eat you? You should've blown him up._

_Envy: Yay! Your advice worked! I'll follow your's and the Homunculi's advice from now on! Why didn't you turn into your adorable form on the other side of the gate? I thought you were invincible._

_Noa: You know that once a gypsy cursed someone? That person got mugged for over 10 bucks. I'm not labeling gypsy's as 'bad' but can you guys do that?!_

_Ed: Why did you decide to have a ponytail instead of a braid in the movie? You were really dark in the movie, by the way. Not depressed, but DEEP. And I think it was cool how your artificial arm did that gun thingie. You know, when Noa hides and then you fend them other dudes off?_

_Winry: Would you be sad if Ed fell in love with your counterpart? And if you had the chance, would you go on the other side of the gate?_

_Wrath: That was so sweet of what you did for Al! Sacrifice yourself, I mean. _

_Rose: Does Jesus exist in Amestris? And where did your son come from? I mean, how did he appear? Did those military bastards rape you?!_

_Roy: I don't think the military are bastards, just some of them. And which is higher, Brigadier General or General?_

_Hohenheim: I suppose if you really loved Trisha, you wouldn't have abandoned Dante...but seriously, what made you so convinced you loved Dante in the first place? Or didn't you? But it was pretty brave to leave her, I'll give you that._

_Well, that's all for now. I think I'm getting addicted to this column...that's good, right?_

_Sincerely (only to Al, Winry, Riza and Envy though),_

_Wrath and Liberality_

**Everyone: **(high fives) **…Wait. Envy was right!? And he actually **_**helped**_** you!?**

**Envy: Hey, I have my moments!**

**Dante: Why, thank you. I don't think that men are supposed to look pretty (except maybe in Envy's case), but I understand what you're saying. I've thought about Hohenheim; I loved him, after all, and I wanted him to be mine. Gluttony simply got out of control, and before I could do anything…**

**Envy: Good idea! When I went through the Gate, I wanted something that could destroy the pipsqueak, and since Envy is sometimes portrayed as a snake…hence the dragon.**

**Noa: I personally can't do that, but I have heard of people (some who aren't Gypsies) who have been rumored to be able to "curse" people.**

**Ed: …Because? I don't know, it was just easier, I guess. And thanks…I think.**

**Winry: I wouldn't be upset, as long as he was happy. And I would go over to the other side if I could, definitely.**

**Wrath: Thanks!**

**Rose: None of the religions from your world exist in ours, so no. And um…yes, you're right on with your assumption.**

**Roy: I agree. As long as you don't count me in with the bastards (that would be people like the Fuhrer, Archer and Kimbley). Brigadier General is higher.**

**Hohenheim: Lots of people get in the same situation as Dante and I; it's why there are so many divorces, because people think they love each other, but eventually, fall even more in love with someone else and/or realize they didn't actually love the person in the first place, or that they weren't like how they thought they were.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: If you're still addicted after me making you wait for so long, then you deserve a bunch of chocolates (that I made) )**

_Hi. Back. Sup?_

_Anyway, moving along and stuff...I'm first again, because this is my laptop and I'm the freaking queen of nice because my siblings continue to use it and I don't punch them out._

_ZILO'S WORDS_

_To Authoress: I am starting up a savings fund. I'd have to take a plane, and get a hotel room, and go alone (since no one else in my family is willing to come) but I think it would be worth it. Oh! And I saw the "Gay Bar" vid (FINALLY) and it was hilarious. You did a great job in it._

_To Wrath: Tempting, but nah. My mom probably wouldn't like me sending a Homunculus to hunt him down, you know?_

_To Ed: You do so. And no, the El-ster doesn't. I told him about it and he was all "Really?" So he watched once and he said, "We don't have anything in common. For one, I'm way taller than him!" We all stared at him for a while at the audacity of his comment._

_To Envy: ...I see. Hmm. I was considering writing a story about that. And I hope you enjoyed giving my crocheted blanket away. You should've laced it with, like, itching powder, so whoever you gave it to wouldn't ask ever again, and neither would anyone else. Well...itching powder or that stuff they use to kill roaches._

_To Al: Hugs from Al! Awesome. (hugs back) Oh, and here. (hands back freshly polished head) Sorry about Shi. She's in her "take people's stuff" phase._

_To Dante: If you had to pick between a really old woman and a really little girl, like seven or something, which would you pick?_

_SECONDLY, REVO'S...ER, ACTIONS_

_ED: You all confused? Welcome to the club!_

_ENVY: Chill out, man! Ain't no reason to be hatin'!_

_WINRY: Why? Who needs a girl doctor?_

_(Zilo and Shi take the opportunity to beat Revo up)_

_Ow...(wheeze) My bad, I recant that..._

_ARMSTRONG: I DO! NOW I'M ALL OPTIMISTIC AND STIZZ-UFF!_

_HOHENHEIM: It's the Ho-ster! Hohopapa! HodeHo! Hinghongdingdong! THE H TO THE O TO THE...HOWEVER YOU SPELL THE REST! (proceeds to beatbox)_

_THIRDLY, SHI'S DEADPANNING_

_Riza: Really? I didn't know that...I was pronouncing it wrong. People mispronounce my real name all the time._

_Edward: Good. Please don't._

_Roy: Not as insane as a miniskirt-loving womanizer._

_Edward/Alphonse: Fine. I'm taking this. (takes Barry the Chopper's knife thing and Ed's pocketwatch)_

_Lust: I know. But you're not nice either. Who are you to lecture me when you have no moral standards of your own? Like, it's not nice to say mean things about your sister, but it's okay to kill somebody. I can't stand hypocrites._

_Zilo: ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH! Lust, I apologize. My sister is on this Hiro Sohma debating kick SHI IS GOING TO LEAVE NOW)_

_Shi: Oh, fine. (sighs and walks off)_

_Zilo: And you aren't taking this. (takes back Barry's knife thing and Ed's watch) My gosh, how did I get the crazy siblings? Anyway, I suppose that's all. Peace out, and eat your vegetables. Oh, and Peg says thanks and keeps up the good work._

_Zilo's Blue Pen (minus a member of the posse)_

**BakaKonekoRKL: You know who else are Queens? Saya and Diva are…**(crying) **I swear…that show…**

**Ed: …Last time I checked, this was the "FMA Advice Column".**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Right, right **(sniff) **I can handle this! Ahem, anywayz, that would be AMAZING if you could come to AnimeNEXT D I'll probably have an Artist's Alley table (see mah profile), and I'll probably be doing a bunch of Blood cosplays **(wipes away tears) **But um yeah. Have a DeviantArt account? My username is KibaInuzuka314 so yeah…Come find me D Thanks!**

**Wrath: Well, if you're sure.**

**Ed: You have my permission to punch his lights out.**

**Envy: Yes, it was…great. Right. I would have done that, but they probably would have come back after me with a vengeance, demanding more stuff from me as repayment for making them itch and stuff. At least this keeps them quiet.**

**Al: Yay! Thanks, and that's alright, since I got it back.**

**Dante: The little girl, because I'd be able to stay in her body longer since she'd have more time to live, and also because and old woman is more…delicate, I guess you could say; I wouldn't have to deal with the aches and pains that older people get.**

**Ed: …Ok?**

**Envy: Excuse me if I've said this before, but DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU!**

**Winry: I think you got what you deserved from Zilo and Shi, but- **(hits him with her wrench a few times) **Think next time before you speak!**

**Armstrong: GOOD!! …I think…**

**Hohenheim: …Yes…?**

**Riza: That's probably because there are so many different ways to pronounce different letter combinations.**

**Roy: …No. Just…no.**

**Ed: WHAT THE- GIVE THAT BACK!!!**

**Al: Um, is it a good idea for her to have that knife…?**

**Lust: …What? I'll just ignore that.**

**Ed: My watch! Thanks.**

**Al: Whew…**

_Alfons and Ed: You know you both love each other so admit it. Also what comes to your mind when people pair you two together?_

_Erin_

**Alfons & Ed: NO WE DO NOT!!!**

**Ed: Something sick and twisted, that's what!**

**Alfons: It's just wrong!**

_Envy Why does everyone compare you to a palm tree?!? It makes no sense to me!_

_Ed You are short. Live with it. Though your rants are very entertaining. )_

_Armstrong Why do you take off your shirt at every possible time? People can see your muscles through them. (But we must wonder, if you spent all your time toning your muscles, when did you ever find time to research alchemy?)_

_And hello to everyone, while I'm at it._

_AkRene_

**Envy: I know! No sense at all!**

**Ed: It's because your hair resembles that of a palm tree.**

**Envy: Shut up, ya puny little runt!**

**Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE NEEDS TO TAKE AN ELEVATOR TO CLIMB ONE STAIR!?!?**

**Armstrong: To get a better view of my muscles, of course! I was able to tone my muscles and study Alchemy simultaneously, because my Alchemy involves muscles!**

**Everyone: Hi!**

_Lei: YO! What's up, all? It's your girl, Lei Z, bringing the noise!_

_Sein: Will you stop?! Oh, and I'm B. Ond Sein._

_Lei: We've got questions, and we won't leave without answers!_

_Sein: Yes we will. We have to wait for the update._

_Lei: ...Oh..._

_Sein: Moving along..._

_Lei: Mine first! Me! Okay, this one's for Envy. You're really cool. Seriously. I liked you from day one (mostly because I thought your power was wicked awesome) and I'm the only one in my whole group who defends you when certain individuals say bad things about you!_

_Next one is for Al. You're so awesome! I think you're really sweet and stuff! Here's a kitty! (gives a kitty)_

_Okay, last one's for both Envy and Al. I have this serious problem. My twin brother is set in his mind that the both of you are girls. I have made him sit down and watch episodes where you're called dudes, but he won't listen!! How do I convince the dummy?_

_Sein: Okay, now I've got some questions/comments/whatever._

_My best friend is completely obsessed with FMA. It drives me nuts. She really ruins the experience for me. (and she always calls me Noa, because she says I look like her. We don't even have the same hair color!) I want to tell her to bugger off, but I'd hate to be mean. How do I break it to her gently that she's a bloody lunatic?_

_Lei: One more thing. Edo, you're not short! The world is full of huge giant people! I know, because I am one. I'm 16 and 6'2''! You think you've got it bad? How about when people say you're so tall you can slap God a high-five? Or so tall birds run into you? Or so tall that planes can run into your face? Or so tall that you can sit on a basketball hoop? Or so tall you can--_

_Sein: Lei, you can stop. I think he gets it._

_Lei: OR YOUR HAIR'S SO NAPPY MOSES CAN'T PART IT?!_

_Sein: Um, we're leaving now._

_Lei Z. and B. Ond Sein_

**Envy: And it's good that you do! You may continue doing so.**

**Al: Aww, thank you! **(pets cat)

**Ed: …You're giving that back to them as soon as this set of questions ends.**

**Al: …Alright, fine.**

**Envy: You light his eyes on fire until he admits he was wrong.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: …Yeah, don't do that? I'd like to stick a disclaimer right here…**

**Al: Um, you could either ignore him (he could be doing it just to annoy you), or you could let him know how much it bothers you. Chances are, it's probably the first, so ignoring him would most likely be most effective.**

**Envy: You light her eyes on-**

**Ed: NO! Just let Al answer it again.**

**Al: M-me? Why me?**

**Ed: You got that cat, didn't you?**

**Al: Yeah, but only for the rest of this set of questions…alright. You could just calmly and nicely tell her that she's being kind of annoying; just give it to her gently. In a case like this, subtle things won't work, so you have to actually tell her. If you make it clear to her how unhappy it makes you, she should get the picture.**

**Ed: Thanks, but I wouldn't mind being that tall! And what's Moses got to do with anything?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Moses…**(sniff) **He died so young…I'm gonna need a moment…**

_You have been warned, and I have appeared!!_

_(Jumps Mustang, strips him of his uniform, ties him up, and leaves him hanging from a light pole in front of Central Command)_

_Bye looser!_

_Asiden_

**Roy: Wh-What the HELL!?!?!?!?**

**Ed: **(laughing) **I-I need a p-picture of t-this!! Hey, Hughes! I need to borrow your camera!**

**Hughes: Alright, Ed. **(gives him one of his cameras)

**Ed: Muhahaha! **(takes pictures of Roy)

**Roy: When I get down from here! I swear, FullMetal! You're gonna be sorry!**

_Um, hello. I would've written sooner, but I'm dealing with the death of one of my closest friends right now..._

_Ed: How do you deal with people calling you short? My best friend is 5'9", but I'm a few inches shorter than you. She keeps calling me 'hobbit.' I'M NOT SHORT!_

_Al: I agree, cats are wonderful. I want one, but my dad's allergic. Oh, well. I honestly feel for you. People are always sticking you with your friends, when you can clearly see it's not like that at all. I hope that when you do find love, you can be happy with him or her. And when that time comes, tell them before it's too late and they're gone forever. I had to learn that the hard way._

_Winry: Please stop hitting Ed with wrenches. You could injure him very badly, or even kill him. I know you wouldn't want that, because you're like his older sister. Please don't say that you're always careful, or that you don't hit him that hard, because accidents happen. I really wouldn't want to see that, not again, not to anyone else..._

_Colonel Mustang: Lay off Ed. Seriously. Because if he's short, so am I, and I'm not short. I know that's your way of showing affection, but could you try to soften it up a bit? It hurts more than you realize._

_Lieutenant Hawkeye: We have the same name. How odd... I think it's really wonderful that you joined the military to protect Colonel Mustang. I know you have to be strict, but try to show a little more emotion. It'll mean a lot to the people in your life, and you'll feel better yourself. It's not good to keep your feelings bottled up inside all the time. Also, maybe you could try not to use your gun so much? It frightens people, and I'm sure Colonel Mustang doesn't appreciate having to pay to fix the bullet holes..._

_I guess I'm just trying to say be happy, don't take anything for granted, eat chocolate, and most of all, love. I think that's really what people don't do enough of, and I truly hope you'll be in the minority who do._

_Sincerely,_

_Riza McKirdy_

**BakaKonekoRKL: I know what you mean. For me, the person didn't die, but they may as well have; it's basically the same thing. BUT it's not a good idea for me to talk about that so, from everyone here at the FMA Advice Column, we would like to give you some cookies **(gives cookies) **and wish you luck!**

**Ed: …I don't deal with it, really. I yell and scream at the people. AND YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT SHORT!!!**

**Al: Aww, well, maybe someday when you live in your own house you can get one! Oh, and thanks…I hope you're feeling better!**

**Winry: Um…alright…Don't worry, we'll be alright.**

**Roy: Aw, come on, he likes it!**

**Ed: I DO NOT!!**

**Riza: Hm, we do…Well, the only thing is that in the military, showing emotion isn't always a good thing. And I really don't use my gun as much as people make it seem like I do…I usually just threaten him with the gun; I rarely have to use it.**

**Gluttony: D CHOCOLATE?**

_(lightning strikes the ground creating a huge burned spot, I step out of this coughing) I SAID GENTLY! ...Oh! Hi FMA people! Oh how have I missed you so! -glomps- _

_Anyways, here's my thing, and this is a question for Ed, Al, Winry, Roy, Riza, Fuery, Havoc, Breda, Falman, Armstrong, Envy, Lust, Wrath, Greed, Dante, Dorochet, Martel, and Hughes..._

_As you all know in this day and age people like to pick Theme songs for themselves out, and so on...-coughs- For example, my theme song is Teenagers, by MCR. (Also that's my Speech teams theme as well, yay!) So here's my point, if you had access to an __MP3 player__ or __iTunes__, or an __iPod__, what would you consider your theme on it and why?_

_To Dante:_

_Ya know, I was watching the last few episodes and I was like, I know I hate you (Dante), but your life must really suck. I'd want to kill my lover too if he went off and married some much younger and prettier lady and had some kids...still...-coughs- You have a psychotic problem...meaning you're insane...XP_

_Love From,_

_Onna-san_

_P.S. (BakaKoneko) So how do you get to go to a cool convention thingy? (Keep in mind that poor Onna lives all the way up in MT, in a very small and secluded town...T.T)_

**All: What's an iPod…?**

_**Warning: I'm probably getting some names/titles wrong. Yay me!!!**_

**Ed: "Nothing I Won't Give" by Vic Mignogna. Why? I think you know.**

**Al: …Can I cheat too? "Brothers", also by Vic Mignogna.**

**Winry: Well unlike you, I'm not going to choose songs that were written for the show. Hmmm, maybe that song "Who Knew?" by Pink, because I used to spend so much time with Ed and Al, and I never saw what was ahead of us when I was little…**

**Envy: "Sexyback" by Justin Timberlake. Need I say more?**

**Ed: …No.**

**Lust: "Fergie-licious", because…I'm Lust, obviously.**

**Roy: "Fuergo"…**

**Ed: Heh, isn't that by Josie and the Pussycats?**

**Roy: No! …It's by the Cheetah Chix.**

**Fuery: You mean the Cheetah Girls…Not that I would know!**

**Roy: …Right, well, I don't exactly like them, but this song is about fire, and being hot…you know, like me?**

**Ed: Riiiiight…**

**Greed: The one that goes, "Money, money, must be funny in a rick man's world". That's the only line I know, but I think it describes me pretty well, huh?**

**Hughes: Is there a song expressing how much love there is between a father and a daughter???**

**All: No.**

**Hughes: Then I don't have a song. Ooh, I should have Elysia sing one for me!**

**Dante: I'm not insane, alright!? I have perfect reasons for doing everything that I did.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Try searching, like on Google, for conventions that take place near you. There's usually at least one in each state each year, and often more than that for larger states (even NJ has them twice a year!). Once you find the convention, if you can get there, you can either register online at the convention's website or usually when you get there. You can talk to people on their forums to learn more, too. And if you're staying overnight, a hotel room is a great idea, too; only so many people can fit on a couch in the lobby…**

_Hey, I'm back!_

_Ed-What do you think of me growing my hair long and putting it in a braid like yours? About calling you short earlier, I'm really sorry about that, what I meant to say was that I'm shorter than you. Again, I'm sorry._

_Winry-I hope Ed doesn't get mad at me for this but, have you used the sit beads yet? Just wonderin'. Also, my girlfriend acts ALOT like you, she even hits me with things such as a wrench, frying pan and even a sledge hammer as well as a steel chair if I do something that her off. She even loves machinery as much as you do._

_Roy-What do you think of these pairings that people put you in? _

_Ex:RoyxEd_

_RoyxEnvy_

_RoyxHughes_

_RoyxWinry_

_RoyxIzumi_

_RoyxHavoc_

_RoyxRose_

_That's all I can think of._

_Riza-Do you enjoy your job and I felt your pain when Roy got shot and you thought he was dead. _

_Envy-I. HATE. YOU._

_Sloth-Did you think of Wrath as a son? I'm just wondering._

_Everyone-Who'd win in a fight, anything goes?_

_Roy Vs. Ed (my prediction: Ed)_

_Winry Vs. Rose (my prediction: Winry)_

_Izumi vs. Roy _

_Roy Vs. Havoc (in a grudge match over the girls)_

_Envy Vs. Wrath (prediction: Wrath)_

_Sloth Vs. Lust _

_Last question to anyone who wants to answer-If you had to switch bodies with someone for a week, who would it be and why?_

_wolfboy1021_

**Ed: Well, if you think it'd look good on you, go for it; you can always cut it if you don't like it. And that's alright, I understand.**

**Winry: Once or twice, but we made a deal that I can't use them in public, so…sorry ; Ooh, if I were you, I wouldn't make her so mad!! Still, I'd like to meet her.**

**Roy: They're disgusting, in one way or another. I mean, people the same gender as me, people way younger than me, and people who aren't even human! I guess being paired with Rose isn't so bad, but she's just not my type.**

**Riza: I do, and thank you for saying that.**

**Envy: I. HOPE. YOU. DIE.**

**Sloth: Almost. He was like a replacement son; I was taking care of him like he was my son, but I never actually believed or tried to believe that he was.**

**Roy & Ed: Didn't we have an entire episode on this?**

**Ed: I definitely would win, since no one would be there to stop us. I mean, I would've won last time, too!**

**Roy: Not unless I hesitate again, which I won't.**

**Winry & Rose: We're friends! We would never fight!**

**Rose: Though if for some reason we did, you're right, it would be Winry; she's tougher and…has wrenches.**

**Ed & Al: Izumi, for sure.**

**Military Officers: Havoc doesn't stand a chance against the Colonel!**

**Havoc: Hey!**

**Envy: Ha! I would; I have more experience.**

**Wrath: But I'm more powerful!**

**Envy: I could easily overpower you!**

**Homunculi: Sloth.**

**Envy: Lust's powers are impressive, but Sloth could stop her movements with her water.**

**Ed: Roy, so I could burn his paperwork and destroy his hopes of becoming Fuhrer.**

**Winry: Ed, so that I could experience my magnificent masterpieces for myself…**

_**I…I did it? I did it!! Wow, alrighty, well, this chapter saw me go through many different things; like I said, it's because of these things that I couldn't update faster, and I'll be better on that in the future. However, I do have HSPAs coming up next week, a TaeKwonDo Tournament in March, SATs and AP testing in early May…And of course, regular homework and Artist's Alley projects. I'll work on this while I can, though, although I think this chapter should keep you busy for a while…**_

_**Oh, and just know that I stayed up until midnight two consecutive school nights to get this finished. So yes, you may shower me in cookies…or money, whichever you prefer. As for me, I've gotta get to bed now, so leave your reviews and I'll have another chapter in (hopefully) under a month!**_


	69. Chapter 69

Thank you all for continuing to support me, even though I was absolutely terrible on that last update

Thank you all for continuing to support me, even though I was absolutely terrible on that last update! And this one! I'll tell you why it took so long, but you'll have to read this first! Haha. Cookies for everyone! Ok, so. This is chapter 69. HISAGI, ANYONE?? 3

Btw AnimeNEXT was awesome. View my photobucket or youtube for pictures and such.

_Envy: Silly Envy, you didn't even know me 60 chapters ago. I'm hurt, really hurt. It would be thought you'd at least remember when I came into your life! ((sniff, sob)) NOW I WANT A BLANKET YOU MADE! RAWRS!_

_Al: Yoga... Haha, you're funny. Anyways it's better now except for that #)# English report I have due on Friday. I used to love the Pyramids, but they're so hard to do a report over!_

_Winry: This must never be repeated, but talking to her parents would just make things worse. Her mother talks and talks and talks and TALKS! She never even gives you a chance to tell your side of the story, she just tells you all the reasons why SHE thinks it's wrong! Trust me, I know, I witnessed it first-hand in an incident in which there was a grill, too much lighter fueled, I happened to be standing nearby, and she nearly lost her eyebrows._

_Riza: I've only had three of those dreams (that I can remember), but trust me, three is enough._

_Everyone: What is it about Math that makes it so flippin' difficult?! I'm supposed to be considered near genius and I can't even figure out Algebra! And worse, my mother is my Math teacher so it follows me home! WAH! ((collapses to the floor in a sobbing heap))_

_Neassa-chan_

**BakaKonekoRKL: **(referring to entire comment) **Thanks so much! I've been feeling a lot better now.**

**Envy: First of all, this stupid thing has been going on for over a year. How do you expect me to remember every single annoying fangirl who's bothered me!? You psychotic little…And secondly, NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!! I WILL NOT MAKE YOU A DAMN BLANKET!!**

**Al: Um, thanks. Well, write about what you find (or found) to be interesting about them.**

**Winry: Ah, I see. Well unfortunately, there are stubborn, close-minded people like that in the world. Unless your friend gets in a fight with her mom and wins, she's probably going to have to either sneak it or wait until college. Though I'm not sure what a grill has to do with all of this…**

**Ed: Why don't you just ask your mom to help you? A lot of math teachers tutor their own students after school, so why don't you just ask her to help you?**

_Why does Ed go off when he hears the word "short"? I've seen shorter people and he's 5ft; I'm only 6in taller._

_Mushekey_

**Ed: IT'S BECAUSE I'M **_**NOT **_**SHORT! I DON'T SEE WHERE PEOPLE GET OFF ON CALLING ME THAT, BECAUSE I'M NOT, AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY ABOUT IT!!**

_Ed- Why do you always get steamed up when you are called something like a bean or a shrimp?_

_Scar- You're hot looking. Do you think killing all those people would of avenged all those Ishbalans? Then again…stupid question. I've got to know, do you think you could of actually used the arm of destruction to save lives then kill? blows a kiss towards Scar_

_How can you use religion to justify murder? Murder is still murder and despite the fact that you are religious, religion only hides lies instead of revealing the truth. Still, I still admire you just wanting to avenge your people for what happened at the Ishbal __Massacre__ looks at __Scar__ Darn  
it…you're too hot. runs up to Scar and kisses his cheek before hiding behind __Havoc___

If your brother was still alive, what would you tell him? Would you have given your life for him?

_Fuery- Why did you join the military? Were you blackmailed to join or something? glomps Fuery You are just too cute._

_Roy- Whose side of the family did you get your looks from?_

_Havoc- What caused you to start smoking? Were you and Roy rivals or something?_

_Vato Falman- You're a walking dictionary. How do you store all that knowledge without blowing your brains out?_

_Riza Hawkeye- No questions for you but you got some great aim._

_Wrath- You seriously have issues._

_Envy- How many times have you been mistaken for a palm tree or a woman? Are you a male or a female? I always get confused. You sound like a girl and look like a guy. Don't you just dislike that?_

_To Military personnel- If you were not in the military, what would you be doing?_

_-Sonar_

**Ed: I AM NOT A BEAN OR A SHRIMP AND I JUST ANSWERED THAT QUESTION!!**

**Scar: …It's an arm of **_**destruction**_**. Do you really think I could have used it to save lives? You're being very controversial, you know. And of course I would have given my life for my brother! **(reaches arm towards Sonar) **Speaking of destruction…**

**Ed: …I think a restraining order would do…**

**Scar: True.**

**Fuery: Um, no, not really. I just wanted to do something to help my country. It's the same reason why many people join their military.**

**Roy: Both?**

**Havoc: Why would I start smoking if the Colonel and I were rivals? Especially if he doesn't? Really, a friend of mine got me into the habit.**

**Al: Say no to peer pressure!**

**Havoc: Uh, yeah. Basically.**

**Falman: Some people have a talent for sports and athletics, others for art; I just have immense knowledge.**

**Riza: Thank you.**

**Wrath: You're asking for a death wish…**

**Envy: …I'm not answering this crap. What I dislike is people like you. Come on, Wrath!**

**Wrath: Yeah!**

**Falman: I could see myself teaching, perhaps a college.**

**Breda: Construction work, or something like that.**

**Scheizka: A librarian…Oh, all those books…!**

_hands cookies to everyone_

Here goes,  
Ed- Suppose, its Roy's b-day...so what would you get him as a gift?

Roy- Same goes for you...what would you get Ed for his birthday?

Winry- Where did you get that extraordinarily short black skirt from?

Envy- I wonder why so many people hate you...I don't...

Lust- Love your hair...although mine's like Edwards...

Hawkeye- Can you lend me your gun please? I'd love to get rid of this  
irritating guy...

Umm...guess that's enough, hugs Roy and Ed and whispers- You guys look great  
together... --

Cheers!

_blueray_

**Ed: A punch in the face.**

**Roy: A kick in the—**

**Ed: Hey! At least my "gift" didn't affect your ability to have children!**

**Roy: Yes, but it could scar my face, and what woman would want a husband with a face all scarred up?**

**Winry: The store? I've seen them in several clothing stores. Anyway, I've seen shorter.**

**Envy: That's good to hear.**

**Lust: Thank you.**

**Riza: I think that may be illegal…**

**Ed & Roy: **(blushing) **WE DO NOT!!**

_You're back! (gives Authoress a big hug) Thank goodness. I thought you had been hit by a train, or something else that would make it difficult for you to update.  
(Mom: Like a bus)  
Yeah...like a bus. Anyway, don't cry. I know how you feel. I lost the will to not cry when they killed off Riku.  
Anyway, let's get back to responding in a joyful manner._

ZILO'S STUFF

To Authoress: I'm trying, but it's not looking good at the moment! If only I could get more money faster, and then drag someone along so I wouldn't be alone...

To Wrath: Yeah, I'm pretty sure. But thanks anyway.

To Ed: Awesome. (punches older brother's lights out) Man that felt good. It's payback for calling both me AND Ed short. Oh, and one more question, Ed. What if you somehow switched bodies with a girl you've never met, and then you guys became friends, switched back somehow, and she confessed to a crush on you? How would you react?

To Envy: Hm. Yeah, that would suck. These are for you. (hands over a stack of 20 crocheted blankets) In case this happens ever again, you'll be ready. (pats him on the back) The green and purple one's for you.

To Dante: Okay. Have you ever jumped into a man's body? Like, if you were running out of time and no girls were available, for instance?

REVO CANNOT REPLY BECAUSE HE IS IN A PILE ON THE FLOOR...STILL.

SHI IS ALSO MIA BECAUSE SHE GOT GROUNDED FOR KIDNAPPING THE NEIGHBOR'S CAT.

So I guess you're stuck with Zilo. Oh well. Let's see...

To Rose: Your hair is natural, right? Do people ask you if it isn't?

To Anybody: At my current job, my hours keep getting cut. I have bills to pay, so this is not good. My mom says I should get a new job, but the problem is I LOVE my job. Seriously. The people and the work and everything. What should I do?

Okay, now, my MOTHER would like to say something. We'll call her Mom.

MOM'S QUESTIONS

Edward: Hello! I only know who you are because of the life-size poster on my daughter's wall (Zilo: She means Shi, not me) Have you ever considered cutting your hair? Why or why not? And did you ever want another sibling? Why or why not?

Envy: Have you ever considered _short hair__? Why or why not? Have you ever considered wearing different clothing? I believed you were female for quite a long time. (Zilo: Envy, if you say anything mean to my mom, I'm taking back the blankets and using this frying pan on you!!)_

Dante: For some reason, my children call me Dante when I'm angry. I think they're referring to you. Why did you want to live forever? Were you afraid of death, or some other reason?

...

All righty, that's all I've got for today. Don't smoke marijuana. Bye all!

Zilo's Blue Pen (plus Mom)

**BakaKonekoRKL: I'm sorry…I have failed you again DX Anyway, e-mail me sometime. I'll reply quicker than with this –phail- MangaNEXT is coming up; Halloween through Nov. 2****nd****. But yes, e-mail can be found in my profile.**

**Ed: …Wow. You actually did it. I'm not sure if I should say thanks or be afraid…Anyway. First of all, I'd be freaked the hell out that I switched bodies with some random chick. But if I did somehow end up falling in love with her, I don't think I could ever out with her, because…I'd have been in her body. And that would just be weird…**

**Envy: YESSS! I AM PREPARED! Wait. Why would I want one for myself?**

**Dante: I always prepare a girl or two ahead of time, don't worry.**

**Al: Aww, kitties! **(runs off to help Shi)

**Rose: Sometimes. But yes, it is natural.**

**Winry: Talk to your boss. Tell him/her that you need your hours, and ask to not have them cut. If not, you could get another job that has different hours from this one and work them both. I'm not sure what kind of job you have, though, so I'm not quite sure how that will work out.**

**Ed: I just wanna let you know that you sort of sound like a teacher with the "Why or why not?"'s. Not that that's a bad thing. Anyway, I like to keep my hair long. I've thought about cutting it, but I sort of like it long, and anyway, who has time for that when you're on the road all the time? For your second question, I wouldn't exactly have **_**complained **_**about having another sibling, but Al was all I ever needed.**

**Al: Aww…Thanks, brother!**

**Envy: …**(reading Zilo's threat) **It's just…like…a disguise…I guess…And because I got used to it?**

**Ed: Wow. See how short his answers can be without all the threats?**

**Envy: Shut up, shorty.**

**Ed: I AM NOT A SHORT LITTLE MIDGET SO SMALL AND PUNY THAT-**

**Dante: That would make sense, yes. Well, don't many people wish to be immortal at some point or another? And once you start, it's addictive; you can't stop. You can continue doing everything you love, getting better bodies each time…**

**Havoc: Marijuana? **(checks cigarettes' labels) **Nope, I'm safe.**

_More questions and comments from me. Wrath- Here gives you a kitty There's no one to stop YOU from keeping one._

Al- I'd give you a kitty but Ed'll yell at me.

Pride- Would you consider yourself an evil robot dictator?

Envy- Is blood salty or sweet, I think it's salty but all my friends say sweet.

Moofy-fan

**Wrath: …Why the hell would I want a cat? **(throws off a cliff)

**Al: NOO!! KITTY!!** (jumps off after it to save it and can therefore not answer his question thing.)

**Pride: …Why the hell would I?**

**Envy: It's more…bitter.**

_'ALLOWS!  
Well, that was a crappy hello._

To Havoc:  
-whacks him with a sledge hammer-  
NEJI IS NOT A -beep-ING GIRL, IDIOT! D:

To Dante:  
I refuse to talk to you anymore, 'cuz you don't exist. You were made up for the anime only, and the anime is nothing compared to the manga. Father could definitely beat you up.

_September Rhyme_

**Havoc: Owww!! That hurt, you know! Jeeze, sorry!**

**Dante: If I don't exist, then how am I talking to you? Anyway, I'd like to see him try.**

_Thanks for the cookies__. They were delicious._

Ed: So do I. My friends have nicknamed them my 'Ed spazzes.' And thanks for sticking up for me!

Al: I am doing a little better, but I'm still not completely over it. I'll probably never be, but I'm okay with that. The pain is just a reminder of how much I loved him. He actually looked quite a bit like you. You remind me a lot of him... I wonder if that's why you're my favorite...?

Colonel Mustang: Honestly, you don't have to stop entirely, just tone it down a bit.

_Lieutenant__ Hawkeye: I can understand that, so maybe just smile a little more often, ne?_

_Lieutenant Colonel Hughes__: Actually, there is a song about a father and daughter's love. It's called 'I Just Love You,' by __Five For Fighting__. It's a good song, you should listen to it._

Sincerely,

Riza McKirdy

**Ed: Uh…Really? Well, no problem, then!**

**Al: Don't worry things will get better, I promise! And thank you.**

**Riza: **(smiles) **Alright, I'll try, then.**

**Hughes: Ohh, really? I think I'm going to have to go listen to it with Elysia, then!**

_Hey ya!_

Lolz, anyways all I can say is, I don't hate any FMA characters (well, only some) but I don't hate that much.

Ed: I wish I had a brother like you. Determined, strong and brave, but you're too short, but hey that's cool too.

Al: You're so cute! I wish I had a brother like you too! If you were my brother, I'd want to buy a kitten for you right away!! Don't listen to what mean old Edward says. Just go live on your own and buy yourself a cat!

_Havoc__: I would date you, Havoc. I somehow feel bad for you and your woman curse thing! But, if I were a few years older, then I would go out with you! But, I'm too young! Sorry :(_

Roy...Hmm, you're okay, but you would've been better then okay if you aren't such a jerk to Ed! But, I guess you're cool.

Winry: You rock! I just want you, Al, and Ed to be my siblings! But, yet that can't happen! Anyways you're awesome! Stay like that!

I'll be back, that is if I can think of anything to say lolz

Laterz!

_ichigo-no-danna_

**Ed: …Ok, so that first sentence didn't make much sense. And really, should you be insulting someone who you'd like to be your brother!?**

**Al: Aww, thank you! But as much as I love them, I'd never be able to leave brother just to have cats.**

**Havoc: I-I can wait!**

**Roy: Ehh, who cares about him? But you're right; I **_**am **_**cool.**

**Winry: Thank you! Don't worry, I'm sure there are people who care about you, and that's all you need.**

_Lei: Yay! The fic's back!  
Sein: Thank goodness. We were beginning to wonder!  
Lei: Now we can get answers, ask questions, wait for more answers, and rap!  
Sein: ...You can do the rapping.  
Lei: I'm with it! Now, let's see here. First off, Envy! Definitely. You're number one in my book (thumbs up) Second, Al! Aw, too bad. But you can visit the kitty anytime you want!  
Sein: Tell them about the advice thing.  
Lei: Yes, well, I took Envy's advice, but it turns out you can only light eyes on fire about two times before they disintegrate!_

Sein:...Shut up and tell them what really happened.  
Lei: You can't blame me for having fun! Anyway, so I tried talking it out with him. He said he was sorry 'cause he didn't know how much it upset me, then he called me a softie, and I punched him in the stomach.  
Sein: And now he has a bruise.  
Lei: (proudly) Now he has a bruise!!  
Sein: Yes, well...so I took Al's advice and told her that she was bugging me, ruining the experience, winding me up, making me think homicidal thoughts towards her, etc. etc. She told me it was my fault because I introduced her.  
Lei: So we lit her eyes on fire and--  
Sein: We did not! I just asked her to tone it down, and she said okay, so we'll see how that goes!  
Lei: HEY ED! My mom is 4'10, does that make you feel better?  
Sein: _Winry__, I think you are one of the best characters, not only because you're so likeable, but because of your skills with automail. If you could put any kind of features into Ed's automail, what would you try?  
Lei: Hey Envy, who started this whole palm-tree thing? And why? I don't get it.  
Sein: This is for all of the __Homunculi__. If you had to spend the rest of your existence only being able to talk to one character, (excluding your Homunculi family) who would you pick and why?  
Lei: Are we done?  
Sein: I think so.  
Lei: Wicked! (gives everyone a slice of __apple pie__) We're leaving! Peace out!  
Sein: Bye all!_

_Lei Z. and B. Ond Sein_

**BakaKonekoRKL: Rawr. And I made you wait again –headdesk-**

**Envy: I can usually get it to go three or four times…**

**Al: Er…Well, you didn't have to go **_**that **_**far…But I am glad that things should be working by now…**

**Ed: …Er…Sort of…**

**Winry: Thanks! Hmm, any kind? Well, he already uses Alchemy on it **(glares at Ed) **so I'd like to put in features so he wouldn't have to, such as knives, maybe a gun, or a mini-cannon…**

**Ed: …And thank goodness you can't.**

**Envy: Who the hell knows?**

**Ed: It's because your hair looks like palm tree leaves.**

**Envy: SHUT UP! IT DOES NOT! Just for that, I'd pick Ed, so I could keep insulting him.**

**Lust: Scar. I'm sure we could think of something to talk about, considering the woman I was supposed to be knew him.**

**Gluttony: …Lust!**

**Lust: Um, no. They said excluding the rest of the Homunculi.**

**Gluttony: …Lust!**

**All: …….**

**Hughes: Mmm, good apple pie, but not as good as my Gracia's!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: By the way. Your names. I can't figure out the second one DX I know "Lei Z." is "Lazy", and then we've got "B. Ond" which is "Beyond", but…Sein? Maybe I'm pronouncing it wrong, but every time you write in a letter, it drives me freaking crazy DX**

_So...HOW HAS everyone been? It's been a while and the world hasn't been destroyed yet. -smirks- OH EDWARD!! What would you do if one of my friends randomly huggled you? She's LIKE, OBESESSED with you…she nearly bit my hand off for finding an Edward plushie…that I wouldn't let her see. Pfft…she's worse then me…Oh, hi Greed! Ok, I'm done byez!  
GreedSeiyaShika_

**Ed: I could deal with it for a few seconds, but any more than that and I'd probably loose my cool and shove her off.**

**Greed: Uh…hi?**

_I THINK I'M GOING CRAZY._

I often find myself happy or sad for no real reason, and I get struck by crazy urges to dump glasses of water on peoples' heads or things like that. I often find myself thinking about how pointless and futile life is. I don't know if there's something seriously wrong or if I just need to get a clue. HELP!

Thank you.

_MarshmallowPandora_

**Ed: …Dump glasses of water on peoples' heads? Alright, I'm not sure how normal **_**that **_**is, but a lot of people sometimes go through phases like that, and they're completely normal. If you find yourself becoming exceedingly happy for no reason, and then suddenly extremely depressed, you may be bi-polar. You may want to check out the symptoms for that, and talk to your parents if it seems like you have all or most of the symptoms. Other than that, it might just be a phase you'll get over shortly.**

_I need advise BAD!_

Ok, so I went on vacation to my friend's house (he lives in Florida) with my family and I haven't really talked to him for months. Everything was good; no really bitchy comments from his sis, nothing. Till the last day we were there!

Ok, so we went to dinner and my mom told us to relax (we were pissed off that we were waiting so long) then my friend's sis calls my mom a bitch then an argument starts and we person by person leave the restaurant. On our way to the car this drunk guy stops on the_ sidewalk__ and my dad calls him an asshole. The guy punches my mom, then I yell and curse the guy out, then he punches my dad! My dad fell to the ground unconscious and he was bleeding a lot so I was panicking and crying. The guy ran off when my dad hit the ground but we caught him. My  
__friend's family__ came over (they were walking ahead) to us my friend started crying, his sister was being a bitch, his mom was blaming my dad, and his dad was just shocked. Now I am worried that this ruined some friendships so I am freaking out. What can I do?_

_songo714_

**Al: Adults can be so childish sometimes…First off, try talking to your friend and see how he feels about everything. Talk to your parents, and get him to talk to his to see how they feel. If either family is still upset over it, try to persuade them to talk to each other. If they can do that without killing each other, you should be fine.**

**Ed: Feel free to call them childish and tell them even kids can make up. And the next time his sister bugs you, just tell her off.**

_Hi!_

I have currently been trying to get my friends to watch FMA and read the  
manga, but they refuse to becuase it is Anime. Do you have any ideas of how I  
could get them to watch/read or make them see how truly amazing it is? Thanks  
so much.

All my kidneys,  
AndiePants

**Envy: Tie them down and duck tape their eyes open.**

**All: ……**

**Winry: Ok, try this. The next time some of them come over, ask them why they won't watch it. If they say, "It's stupid; it's anime", etc. then just list all the things you know they'll like about it. If they persist, just ask them to, as your **_**friends**_**, watch two or three episodes. If they show any interest, it should be easy to convince them to watch more. But make sure you watch it with them, so you can explain things and also make it more fun! Also, anime first; it's probably easier to get into. If they like it, then try the manga.**

_Thanks for the advice everyone on how to deal with my ex. I told him to bugger off, especially since he insulted my current boyfriend, who was a friend of his. He's left me alone since the last time I wrote, so that's good._

And for my less serious stuff:

Greed:  
1. (In response to my last question) All the red stones you can eat. Ironically, they were all stolen from Dante's private stash. (Grins cheekily). Yeah, she's probably gonna be really mad at me when she finds out. But she'll have to catch me first to do anything about it.

2. I saw a guy dressed up as you when I went to a comicon with some of my friends. He pulled the look off pretty well.

3. You're my favorite Homunculus. I think the reason I think you're cool is the fact that you're not trying to kill a bunch of people just because, unlike a certain psychotic palm tree that we all know. Anyways, keep up to good work, and stay cool!

Hawkeye:  
1. I went dressed up as you for the Comicon, but I didn't have a gun. My older brother wouldn't let me borrow one of his fake ones for a prop. (Cries) However, for some strange reason I had a lot of guys run up and hug me randomly. It was weird.

2. You are one of the coolest female characters in FMA!

Envy:  
1. Have you tried anger management?

Everybody:

I have a FMA story up and written, and I was curious to see what you guys thought of it. Could you please read it and tell me what you think about it and tell me if I kept all of you in character? I'd really appreciate it.

(Hands out brownies to everyone except Dante) Thanks!

Wandering Hitokiri

**Ed: If he **_**still **_**hasn't bothered you, after all these months, then you should be good.**

**Greed: Well, considering she's left the room (not that you can tell) since none of these questions pertained to her, it's a shame she doesn't know.** (eats some stones) **Oh really? I think I'll be the judge of that…But thanks, kid.**

**Envy: That better not have been a reference to me…**

**Riza: Still, that's very flattering. Maybe you could make your own "gun", out of paper mache or cardboard or something. Oh, and thanks.**

**Envy: Have you tried shutting up? Oh, and the authoress is a lazy bitch so I don't know if we can….**

**BakaKonekoRKL: …I have the power to kill you, you know.**

**Envy: Do your worst.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: …If you still want everyone to, give me the name of the story. I'll get a bunch of them to reply on the first chapter.**

**Ed: And what if we don't want to?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: I've acquired a taste for shrimp lately…**

**Ed: …You trying to say something?**

_Hi everyone! It's been awhile! Hope you guys (including the author) had a nice __Easter__. Oh, Happy Belated Easter! (even tho, you FMA people don't have it in Amestris...) (gives chocolate and __sweet things__)_

Anyway... I don't remember when, like weeks ago, I started reading the FMA manga...haven't gotten too far though...hehe

Random question here... and mou hitori no watashi, Yami Ookami is gonna say it!

Yami Ookami- to the FMA girls, have you heard of Furuba/Fruits Basket? If you have, then who is the hottest and most awesome guy from the series/manga?

Also, speaking of Furuba, to the whole FMA cast, if you were cursed with the spirit of the animals of the _Chinese Zodiac__, then what animal would you turn into?_

Ookami Bakura and Yami Ookami- See you next time!

**Wrath: Mmm, sweet things! I don't know what Easter is, but I like it! **(runs off to eat)

**BakaKonekoRKL: Thanks :D I hope you've had a happy…every holiday since then XD**

**Winry: I like Kyo. He sort of reminds me of Ed…**

**Ed: I don't even want to know.**

**Scheizka: I like Shigure…he's a writer! Oh, but I guess that's all I like about him…But I like dogs, too!**

**Riza: I like Hatori, myself.**

**Winry: Why, because he's so much like Roy?**

**Riza: …**

**Scheizka: They're both pretty…well, emo, serious (most of the time), and both have injured eyes!**

**Winry: Not to mention Roy's the Flame Alchemist and, though Hatori's really a seahorse, dragons often breathe fire…**

**Riza: Ok, enough! Back to work!**

**Schiezka: Yes, ma'am!**

**Winry: …I'm…not in the military.**

**Ed: What are all the animals again? Rat, ox, tiger, snake, elephant, moose…**

**Winry: …Don't ask him. But that includes the cat, right?**

**Al: Oh! I'd want to be a cat!**

**Roy: The dragon can breathe fire, you say…?**

**Winry: I'd be the dog. They're so cute! And I'm sure Den would be happy.**

_-strolls in whistling a giddy little tune-_

Well, well, well! If I haven't stumbled upon the famous Edward and Alphonse Elric, then I dunno what I've done! 8D -shakes both of your hands rapidly- Nice to meet ya both! Call me Crystal! You as well, Winry! Nice to meet you too! -shakes Winry's hand also-

Onto the questions, I presume!

For Ed:  
Heya! Ed, don't feel bad. You're taller than me even with out your boots or little hair antenna thing, and I'm through growing! D: My doctor's only like barely... 5 feet tall, and he's taller than me! D: He was stunned to let me know that I was through growing. Oh, how the depression was indeed stressful, but I overcame it! So, don't feel bad, Ed! You'll always be tall to me! Oh, and here's a brownie! I understand you love food, so I thought I should bring some treats!  
Everyone can have some! 8D  
For Alphonse:  
What's up, dude!? So, I understand you like cats. Same here; sorry you can't have any though! I would offer you one seeing as how we have a ton of little strays, but I guess under your circumstances, well... whispers to Al: Just keep bugging Ed; he'll break down one day.  
For Winry:  
Hiya, Winry! You remind me so much of someone! My sister, actually!! She's like you, sweet, caring, and a fun loving person! The only difference is that she can't make wonderfully made automail like you can! You have an amazing skill at that; keep it up! (:  
For Roy:  
It's the pyromaniac! Haha; just kidding, sir! Can I borrow your gloves sometime? I really want to start a fire and make some s'mores, but I don't have anything to start a fire with! -rubs sticks together, failing miserably at the attempt of starting a fire- ... Fiddle sticks.  
To Havoc:  
Top of the evenin' to ya, fella!? Havoc, I just have one thing to say to you... Stop smoking. It ruins your lungs. I bet you'd attract SO many MORE women if you'd take that cigarette out of your mouth! Gracious days...  
To Envy:  
OMG! You frighten me. Your hair especially. It reminds me of a frazzled Chihuahua that just got run over by a car twice! Ever thought about washing your hair, Envy? -snickers-  
To Riza:  
Hola, Miss Riza! How in the WORLD do you deal with Roy on a daily basis?! Is he flirting with you constantly or something?! D He needs to show women some respect! -shakes fist at Roy- You're to be commended, though, ma'am. Dealing with Mustang, working a full time job, taking care of a cute little doggy! You're a hard working officer and you deserve a promotion! (:

Well, I guess that's all I have to say to ya'll! Until then, I bid you all  
adieu!  
-disappears in a flash of light-

_AlmightySquirrelQueen_

**Ed, Al & Winry: H-H-Hi…! **(are being jostled around from rapid handshaking)

**Ed: Well, that makes **_**me **_**feel better, but it kinda sucks for you! Mmm…Did you bake those yourself?**

**Al: Hi! Aww…Well, maybe you can take care of them for me, and some day I can get some!**

**Winry: Aw, thank you! Give her a hug for me!**

**Roy: I think you're the only reviewer who's ever called me "sir". How about instead of lending you my gloves (you never know when a psychotic Alchemist killer is going to come by), how about I give you some advise?: Use a match.**

**Havoc: I-I know…**

**Envy: You know what!? I **_**do **_**wash my hair! It's clean! That's just the style! Oh, why am I even bothering talking to you?**

**Riza: Patience, diligence…and Advil. He'll flirt sometimes when no one else is around, but I try to ignore him. But thank you. And don't worry; Black Hayate is a lot easier than the Colonel…**

_Envy; You're still the my fave and the hottest character on the show, so I have only one question...Why can't you be real? Oh well I'll just have to live with watching the show over again.pops disk into computer_

Ed; When did you learn how to braid your hair like that? I've tried a million times and still can't get it right...

Al; If I told you I have a friend who fell in love with you when you were still in the armor would you be freaked out? Cause that would make her sad...She cried whenever you got hurt. And she wants to give you lots of hugs! :D

Roy; You're cool in my opinion but my friend is a Roy-Hater, she enjoys stabbing pictures of your face. I'm sorry about her but I'm still a fan!

Havoc; Um...since you asked last time, I'm 14 but I'll be 15 really soon...so no I don't think I'm your age...sorry if I disappointed you.

Hughes; I just want to say that you are the nicest guy around. You talk about your family all the time, bragging about how lucky you are to have them and I'm sure they feel the same to you. You are the most excellent role-model around. Thank you Hughes, you're an inspiration to me and my friends.

Wrath; Can I hug you? I swear it'd be fast and painless...pleaassee? Puppy dog eyes

Scar; Can I shake hands with you? I swear I'm not and never will be a State Alchemist or one of those annoying people who try to bug you, because I personally thik you're one of the better characters on the show. Hold out hand hopefully

Dante; I LAUGHED WHEN YOU DIED! HA!!

Riza; You're my fave female character and I think you're awesome! And the last name Hawkeye is freaking sweet!!

Envy (again); What do you think of Vampires? And what's your fave color? If it's green that's my fave too!

And of course...Showers BakaKonekoRLK in various gifts of cookies, money and chocolate.

And with that...goodbye guys! I love you all...but Envy's better!! Love Ya Envy, Stay mean!

Zexy's Girl (Beth)

**Envy: Uhh…thanks…and…because it's impossible?**

**Ed: I've been doing it for several years…Once you get the hang of it, it's really simple.**

**Al: Oh, not at all! I think that's really cool! Tell your friend thanks, and give her a hug for me!**

**Roy: …That's…disturbing…**

**Havoc: Not again!! D:**

**Hughes: Aww, thanks so much! Hey, speaking of my family, did I tell you what my adorable daughter did the other day?**

**All: YES.**

**Hughes: Really? Oh, but I'm sure you'd love to hear all about it again, right? :D**

**Envy: **(ties up and gags Hughes) **Anyway.**

**Wrath: …Alright, fine.**

**Scar: **(shakes hands) **Thank you, but…is it really such a good idea to shake hands with someone who's arm could blow you to smithereens? Just saying…**

**Dante: And I'll laugh when you die.**

**Riza: Thank you very much.**

**Envy: Vampires? …Ok, if this is a reference to that freaking Twilight book, you are DEAD. Eh, green is ok, so is black. I don't really have "favorite colors".**

**BakaKonekoRKL: OMG YAY :D Chocolate to make fudge, money for anime…I mean…college…and cookies for OM NOM NOMing :D**

_Oh god, I couldn't stop laughing at all! Now my sister's looking at me weird.  
_Please_ continue!_

Well, here's a question for Ed:

Which do you prefer: P Without Plot (PWP) or fluff?

-narudude2

**BakaKonekoRKL: Glad you like! XD I'm trying to get to 100 chapters…orz**

**Ed: …Fluff that leads to slight PWP, minus the WP. Hey, I'm a guy.**

**Ok, so. The reason why it took me so long to update. It's a funny story, really XD I actually have been getting scared that I can't get into character. But you know what? I got writer's block for my OHSHC story "White Houses" (rawr read it!!), so sucked it up and came here…and you know, once I start, I can't stop! Lol. It's just the actual starting…**

**So, to apologize, here are some Anime Life Lessons: FMA Style!!**

**-Do not look down on shrimps if you are not ready to suffer the consequences-  
-If something is forbidden, DON'T do it-  
-Don't depend on God for everything-  
-Don't let your pride get the better of you-  
-Pick on someone your own size!-  
-Naked children on random islands are best left there-  
-Armor suits make great storage areas-  
-Make sure the leader of your nation is a **_**human**_**-  
-Never trust people with funky tattoos-  
-If you hide inside a suit of armor and attach red lights at the eyeholes and go around saying you are a soul attached to a suit of armor, people WILL believe you-  
-If you lose your arm, leg, or any other body part, then get a automail!-  
-Bringing back the dead is impossible-  
-It is scarier dealing with living people than the dead-  
-Never perform a transmutation without something worth of sacrifice-  
-Do not use the Philosopher's Stone for trying to cheat out Alchemy's Law of Equivalent Exchange-  
-The world is not perfect, but its lack of perfection is what makes it "so damn beautiful"-**


	70. Chapter 70

You should thank me

**You should thank me. I did this in less than 6 months this time lol. This is dedicated to everyone who's started school recently; I feel for you, guys. I'm going into my senior year of high school, but we start Sept. 15****th**** due to construction. HAHAHA.**

_All: Thanks for answering! _

_  
Author: I hope this fic doesn't get deleted...TTTT_

Ed and Roy (and Greed)- I can kinna imagine you guys riding motorcycles...or maybe not...what'd you think? XD ;; (thinking of YuGi-Oh 5d's hehe)

Ed- What if you had a evil dark half?

FMA cast (besides Ed) : What if Ed had a evil dark half? Any thoughts on that?

Think that's all...  
Ja ne!  
Ookami Bakura

**All: Welcome!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: D: I'd probably cry. And sue FFN. Er…I can do this, yes? XD**

**Ed: Don't worry, there's probably fanart of that.**

**Roy: And fanart of me and Ed on a motorcycle…together…**

**Ed: **(cringes) **Why did you have to say that…?**

Greed: Hm, maybe I should get one of those things…

**Ed: Er…Um…I guess, then…I'd be evil? I dunno, isn't that called skitzophrenia?**

**Al & Winry: He does. It's called Hungry Ed.**

**Roy: Then I'd have an excuse to pummel him, of course.**

Scar

_With that arm of destruction, you could of used it to kill criminals that were harming innocent lives._

_Havoc__  
kisses Havoc on the cheek Aw...you're such a sweetheart Havoc. I would really want to know you._

Ada Ikito

**Scar: …You do realized the Ishbalans that the Military killed **_**were **_**all innocent people?**

**Havoc: Aww…thanks!**

_Hikami: To Roy and Scar, your views on religion and its controversy?  
-Hikami looks around as Akira looks at Fuery's glasses.-  
Akira: Hey Kain. I got a question for you. Most humiliating thing you've ever done?  
Hikami: Hey Havoc, I heard you got a fan girl by the name of Velvet Sin. She told me that she was going to come and find you. Anyways, any advice for dealing with backstabbers?_

Akira Phoenix & Hikami Haruda

**Roy: I don't really believe in any gods. How can I believe in something of whose existence I have no proof?**

**Scar: People should just believe in whatever they want, worship whatever they want; it's not for anyone else to say. Anyway, no one ever knows what the truth is until the day they pass on, so it's no use arguing over it now.**

**Fuery: Um…Well, I do tend to trip sometimes…I guess once when I tripped carrying some coffee, and got my uniform covered in it, and there was nothing else to change into, so I had to go around in a very dirty uniform all day…it was all over me, from head to toe, and everyone I walked by kind of stared at me.**

**Havoc: Er…Are those two things related? Well, you could ignore them and not talk to them, or you could talk to them about the incident. Maybe they did…whatever, without realizing it.**

**Fuery: Hey! This whole letter was to people in the Military!**

**Roy: Except Scar.**

**Fuery: Oh, yeah…except him.**

**Havoc: But he kills people in the Military, so it's still keeping the Military theme…**

_Dorochet  
Final thoughts as you died?  
Most __annoying thing__ about being half dog?  
Ever peed on someone by accident?_

Lust  
Ever considered wearing a red dress?  
Favorite color?  
Why did you want to become human so badly?  
Do you think Scar is attractive?

Kemkira

**Dorochet: Um… "Oh, shit, I'm dying! Hope Greed will remember me…" Something like that. Um, the urge to chase things. And no, I've never done that.**

**Lust: Not really, because to answer your second question at the same time, I really love the color of this dress. I wanted to become a human, because Homunculi are like humans, except we can't feel and we can't die (as easily). As odd as it sounds, that's what I wanted. Honestly…Yes, a little.**

_Scar  
I didn't mean to offend you. Please forgive me. I don't hate you. I only hate the fact that you died. Still, killing is a sin either way. I mean it's obvious your brother loved you. As for that arm of destruction, I mean if you find something worth protecting, you should use it to save the lives of innocents and take out criminals and those that placed harm on your people. Did you ever regret hating him for so long? Did you ever discover the truth of what happened to your people and the  
Ishbal war? What do you think of Ed and Al? Does it make you miss your brother? Was it hard to know that you had all those souls in your arm? Before the destruction of Lior, I'm curious how you found Rose and how you convinced her to be there as a religious figure? I want to make it clear that I do have respect for you Scar. Just please don't kill me. I know that some of the things I said did upset you but I did expect that. I apologize for that Scar. Did your journey ever feel lonely at one point?_

Fuery  
Has anyone ever been pranked while at the base? Biggest misconception about you? Have you ever got mad at anyone in your life? How many pets have you saved from being strays besides Black Hayate? Is there any nicknames that people give you?

Havoc  
You get a compliment from me. I do think you are good looking next to Kain Fuery. Do you dislike Roy at times for stealing your girlfriends? Funniest _pickup line__ you ever used on a girl?_

Sonar

**Scar: …It's alright. Yes, I've regretted hating my brother, but I never quite discovered the truth. The Elric brothers remind me of my brother and myself…or maybe, how we should have been. Holding these souls in my arm has caused me a lot of grief, and I've never gotten over it. I found Rose when I was passing through Lior. I saw what was going on there, and I felt bad for her; I knew it was going to turn into another Ishbal, so I did whatever I could to prevent that from happening. Finally, yes, my journey has always been a lonely one…**

**Fuery: Oh, sure, people get pranked all the time! People get their lunch stolen, and I've heard that people walk into the bathrooms and all the stalls are locked, but no one's in them…Just things like that. I guess the biggest misconception about me is that I only love dogs, but I really like cats, too! I've gotten mad at people, but rarely over petty things. There are only a few other animals I've saved besides Black Hayate, but I took all of them to the pet adoption center (I only brought him to the base because it was raining so hard!). No, I don't have any nicknames.**

**Havoc: Thanks! Of course I dislike the Colonel sometimes! I swear, that girlfriend-stealing… Hm, I think I once asked a girl for a map because I "kept getting lost in her eyes". I try not to do that kind of stuff, though, unless I think they'll laugh at it.**

_All right. Here goes..._

Do any of y'all homunculi (besides Envy, Lust, _Sloth__, and others we already know about) remember who you were/what you were like when you were human?_

And a random one...

To everyone: would you prefer suspense anime, like _Death Note__, high-powered-teenagers-playing-childrens'-card-game anime, like __YuGi-Oh__, or romance anime, like __Vampire Knight__? Just wondering._

Oh, and, just wondering, Winry do you have medical training? For, like, surgery and all that stuff?

HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite

**Wrath: I was a stillborn. Um…That's it.**

**Pride: Dante created me. That's pretty much all I remember.**

**Greed: I think I was one of Dante's ex-husbands or something. Or at least, a lover.**

**Gluttony: Mmmm…nope!**

**Ed: Definitely suspense! I mean, who'd watch a show about playing cards, anyway?**

**Roy: I've got to agree with him.**

**Riza: I like romances, so sure, a romance anime.**

**Winry: Definitely! Also, I have enough training to attach automail. I couldn't, say, do heart surgery, or anything like that, though.**

_The story is called 'What One May Never See', and the worst thing it has in it is some cussing and friendship(s) between an OC and some cannon characters._

You might like it Ed, since there's a couple of prank scenes where Mustang gets... embarassed. I won't tell you what exactly happens, but they are funny.

Greed:  
1. Well, he pulled the look off well for a human. Besides, nothing screams badass like a fuzzy vest and leather pants with cool boots. The spikey jelled hair and sunglasses adds a nice touch too.

2. I am technically not a kid, seeing as I am twenty years of age. However, a lot of people seem to think that I'm a lot younger than I really am, and therefore treat me as a kid. It's okay though, since I get free candy out of the deal on _Halloween__._

Riza:  
1. Hey, that's a good idea. Thanks for the tip.

Envy:  
1. I would shut up, but sometimes I have too much fun making fun of you. So, you're a Twilight hater? Sorry, but I think that's just too funny. But wouldn't you actually have to read said books in order to form an opinion like that? (Snickers for a bit before getting herself under control)

2. Since I feel sorry for you and Ed having to deal with fangirls asking you guys to knit blankets for them, I am giving both of you a whole package of them. Just sign your name on the bottom corner with a Sharpie when you give them to your (said sarcastically) adoring fans, and they won't complain.

Mustang:  
1. Okay, serious question this time instead of just verbal potshots. If you had a newly enlisted soldier added on to your ranks with Havoc and the others, and he had only been there for a month before something freaky happened involving the homunculi and his kid sister, and you found out that said soldier wasn't who he really said he was, what would you do?

Okay, that was kind of a crappy explanation. But it's the best I can do for  
now.

And by the way, sir, sarcasm is just one of the many services that I offer.

See ya later everyone, and stay out of the rain Mustang. After all, you're just like the _Ford Mustang__: completely useless on __rainy days__._

Wandering Hitokiri

**BakaKonekoRKL: -has OC issues- Er…No offence to you personally, but I just can't read anything with an OC in it, it doesn't matter how well it's written. I'm really sorry! (I've refused to read things my cousin wrote because of Ocs, that's how bad it is). But if there's another you'd like us to read that's OC-less, just let us know. One shots preferred D:**

**Greed: Huh. Well, it sounds pretty good, anyway. And since I'm over a century old, you're pretty much a kid to me.**

**Riza: No problem; glad I could be of help.**

**Envy: With all the fangirls I have to deal with? Trust me, I've heard enough about it to hate it. Oh, yeah, let's go try to kill ourselves so we can hear voices in the backs of our heads. UM, SKITZO? But I won't make too much fun of it, since you're giving me these blankets.**

**Roy: …Er…Sorry, this is a serious question? Well, I guess we'd try to help the poor guy out, and try to get to the bottom of whatever's going on. Hey! If I'm indoors on a rainy day, I'm 100 percent useful!**

**Riza: Unless you're supposed to be doing paperwork.**

**Roy: Yes, unless I'm—Hey, what?! You're supposed to defend me!**

_I wish I could go to some kinda convention like that D:_

And Envy... I WANT A BLANKET! No, wait, I WANT A QUILT! Made with LOVE and BLOOD and SWEAT and TEARS and THE _LITTLE MERMAID__! 8D Totally. And did you know there's a cell phone called the NV (or whatever)? And one called a __palm treo __(likeness to __PALM TREE__, much?). Lol! :D I think that that means you're OFFICIALLY a palm tree!_

...Al, have a kitty. -gives Al a tabby- Now RUN!  
...well that was extremely random...  
Do you people think it's normal to have people in your head?  
Because I have people in my head sometimes.  
September Rhyme

BakaKonekoRKL: Ohai, you can :D They have them everywhere!

**Envy: …A BLANKET AND QUILT ARE THE SAME THING…Basically…LOOK, DEAL WITH WHAT YOU GET, ALRIGHT? Be glad you get anything! I've heard about the NV thing, BUT I'M NOT A FREAKING PALM TREE, DAMNIT!!**

**Al: Awww… **(pets kitty)

Ed: Al…

**Al: Brother!**

**Cat: **(mews)

Ed: …

**Al: **(looks hopefully)

**Ed: No. Give it back. As for the…er…people in your head? You may want to see some kind of doctor about that.**

_For Ed: Hey Ed! You know you have a disease? Yup, you do, its called Napoleon Syndrome... my mom told me that. Cuz she's a doctor. Okay question...Do you have any other clothes you wear? Well... that wasn't me my friend asked that plus my question which is... When is your birthday? I would sacrifice all my free time researching about you and your birthday... and Al's and Winry's and Riza's especially Roy's birthdays. Oh, and since I'm in my junior year... and the branch of science we have to study is chemistry, I just saw the term "alchemy" in my book isn't that cool?? Haha!_

For Al: OMG! yay! huggles you are so sweet!! And cute. I too have a fondness for stray kitties!!

For Winry: My classmates so adore you; they even told me "she is the luckiest girl in the universe!" Why? Cuz you have Ed! :3

For Roy: Hm... Does it really take that long to do paperwork? And you still have spare time for your women... oh by the way, my classmates also is over obsessed over you...I mean they just made a small room, full of you. Which is creepy. Oh and they all say "HI ROY! WE LOVE YOU! -insert really loud fan girl scream here-

For the Elric brothers: If the Tringham Brothers try to steal your identities again... what would you do? Because in that episode where they stole your identities... we were really pissed off! Then after those two episodes... my friends were like this...

Friend 1: Those Tringham brothers have some real _identity crisis__  
All of friends: Agree!!  
Friend 1: A weird tall version of __Edward Elric__ –scoff- I just want STRANGLE THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS!  
Friend 2: Calm down, you'll have your chance... no one would love Ed if he was that tall!  
Me: Yeah!! Because they love Ed: he's cute, chibi, and funny when he spazzes out!  
Friend 1: Yeah... and Russel never experienced what Ed experienced so he can never EVER EVER!! Be called _the_ Edward Elric, Because... Ed is too awesome to be Russel Tringham.  
All of friends (including me): YES!  
Uhm... yeah... that happened... sorry Russel and Fletcher but they were really pissed off when you did that_

I'm so sorry if most of my questions involves about my closest friends... because they're the only people who really understand the universe of FMA. And few questions and more sharing about stuff... I'm that kind of person...  
Thanks!

_bluefireworks_

Ed: …Yeah? Well…what would she know?

**Winry: Ed? She's a doctor. She would know.**

**Ed: …Anyway. I do have other clothes, as well as variations of my usual ones. All I can tell you about my birthday is that it's sometime during the winter; sorry! Oh yeah, in your world, Chemistry derives it's roots from Alchemy, so in your intro chapters, you'll see Alchemy a bit.**

**Al: Aww, thanks!**

**Winry: **(blushes) **R-Really? Well, thanks!**

**Roy: The amount of paperwork I get? Yes.**

**Riza: Plus he procrastinates. It's not that he has extra time for dates, it's that he dates instead of doing work.**

**Roy: H-Hey! Well, at least I have lots of fans! **(winks)

**Russel & Fletcher: Er…That's kind of threatening, don't you think? I mean, it's not like we tried to kill them!**

**Ed: I doubt they'd do that again.**

**Al: And even if they did, I'm sure they wouldn't be doing it for anything bad. We're friends, now, so we'd go easy on them.**

**Ed: And…does **_**everything **_**have to relate back to my height!?**

_Lei: YO! OH! YEAH, YOU'RE BACK!  
Sein: PLEASE stop screaming.  
Lei: Sure! Anyhow, glad ya didn't die or get mobbed by angry readers or anything like that. We missed you, yo!  
Sein: Yes, we did. Though I missed you in a much calmer way...  
Lei: (beatboxes)  
Sein: STOP!  
Lei: Sorry. Anyway! Onto responding and asking and waiting!  
Sein: I sense a tradition coming on...  
Lei: First off, Author Girl! I heard you went to a con way up beyond where I can reach, yo!  
Sein: Stop rapping.  
Lei: Sure! Was it fun? What'd you dress up as? See any Envys?  
Sein: Did you meet lots of people?  
Lei: Did ya DANCE?  
Sein: Now, let's see. Lei has a problem with beating people up.  
Lei: Nuh un!  
Sein: Yes you do. She seriously beats up people who make her or someone she likes mad. How do I defuse this violent behavior?  
Lei: You're talking about me like I AIN'T HERE!  
Sein: You noticed this time?  
Lei: ...  
Sein: ...  
Lei: Anyways! Yo Envy and Al, yep, it worked! We're closer now. I think. He's still kind of an idiot! And yo __Winry__! Know what I'd put in it? One of those back scratcher things.  
Sein: For what??  
Lei: Because they HURT! They'd make an awesome weapon!  
Sein: All...right...now, let me address this "palm tree" thing. I am utterly at a loss because I look here at Envy's hair and it reminds me nothing of palm tree fronds.  
Lei: No, but, look. (yanks up a big section of Envy's hair and shoves it under Sein's nose)  
Sein: No thank you. (pulls hair out of Lei's fist) It's too dark, too long, too stringy, too greasy, too smelly, and too odd.  
Lei: Was that, like, a veiled insult?  
Sein: Maybe. I saw Episode 50 again the other day, and I'm a bit displeased with Envy's violent tendencies. Plus I like Ed.  
Lei: Hahahah! Envy got dissed!  
Sein: (sarcasm) Indeed.  
Lei: Yo! Homunculi! And everyone else (including Author Lady) I have a random off-the-wall question. If you were forced to talk to only one of the two of us for the rest of your lives, me or Sein, which would you pick? I'd pick me!  
Sein: And I'd pick me, because I don't suddenly start screaming for no reason.  
Lei: That was one time!  
Sein: Mr. Hughes, I made the apple pie, so I'm glad you like it. I'd love to try some of your wife's someday. And I think Elysia is very cute!  
Lei: Yeah, she's adorable!  
Sein: To the Authoress, I see our names have given you a bit of stress!  
Lei: Let us FIX THAT!  
Sein: What was that about not randomly screaming?  
Lei: Yeah, so...anyway, you got my name right, yo! Sein's over here is supposed to sound like "Beyond Sane".  
Sein: We're both girls, but our friends have always told us that we fit together like Jay-Z and Beyonce. I think that's a compliment.  
Lei: It's weird too, because Sein's, like, British!  
Sein: But anyway, if you alter our names slightly they sound like Jay-Z and Beyonce.  
Lei: I'm not REALLY lazy.  
Sein: And I'm perfectly sane. But we're stuck with the names now.  
Lei: PROBLEM SOLVED!  
Sein: (sighs) Please have a good day._

Lei Z. and B. Ond Sein

**BakaKonekoRKL: **(feels loved) **:D Look around; there are cons EVERYWHERE; chances are, there's one near you! Mmm, hai, it was mucho fun! Let's see, my cosplays were Saya (schoolgirl and also maroon jacket), Diva and Lulu from Blood, Yuki from Vampire Knight, Misa from Death Note and Winry from FMA (Woo!). I also got a Zero (Code Geass) cloak late Sunday, so I was lolita!Zero. Haha. I don't think I saw any Envys myself, though my friend stalked an Ed. …No, seriously XD You can search Photobucket for my account, xSayaOtanashix (album is AnimeNEXT 2008, and look through the sub-albums), or look on my YouTube for my channel, xKaoruHitachiinx. I met up with old friends and made a lot of new ones! We actually did dance; we made a Kyoya (OHSHC) dance, and we tried to dance at the rave, but…er…issues arose. And hai, there was more dancing :D But I missed the Caramelldansen because I was at my Artist's Alley table D: I have a huge rant on LiveJournal about it; my account is xsayaotanashix so if you add me and let me know it's you, I'll link you to it (it's friend's only, sadly, so adding is necessary, if you have one).**

**Ed: Well, she…you need to learn better self-control. People will probably just keep making you mad just to see what happens; of course, there's a good chance they'll continue even if you stop, but if you do stop, then you can't get in trouble. Anyway, wouldn't it be better to tell someone about it? Adults can enforce rules better than you can, and this way, they'll get in trouble, not you. But you have to realize, kids always pick on each other, so there'll always be someone pissing you off. You can't really do much about it but report it to an adult.**

**Winry: Well, also…You can scratch your back with a backscratcher. But I guess they hurt, too…**

**Envy: Hey! Did you have a point in there somewhere!? Anyway, I'd pick Lei, if I HAD to. She didn't insult my hair.**

**Ed: Sein said she liked me and also doesn't have…random…outbursts.**

**Lust: Lei.**

**Gluttony: Lei!**

**Sloth: Sein.**

**Wrath: Sein.**

**Greed: Can't I pick both?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: That goes for me, too XD I mean, word on the street is, you go together like Jay-Z and Beyonce! (Lol, thanks for clearing that up. I can sleep again! Haha).**

**Gracia: Thank you! Aren't apple pies delicious? I'm sure yours came out amazing, too!**

**Elysia: Heehee, thank you!**

_Ed: Yeah my friend is a total…Idiot…I took her Edward plushie and she was like, "Drop it. Now." Eh I'm still amazed how fan girls can be..._

_Envy__: You know what…its not my fault if someone just decides to shave your head and dress you up in pink…Hell I would laugh…_

_Greed__: Heh, well now if it isn't "I'm so cool, ladies love me". News flash: they probably only like you for your body.. -takes deep breath- OK sorry I'm in a mean mood right now and just want to kill something..._

Tah biatches: GreedSeiyaShika

**Ed: Yeah, well, now you know what I have to deal with. Just don't touch her stuff and you should be good.**

**Envy: …WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? First off, why would someone be dumb enough to do that!? And secondly, I'd just kill them before they could!**

**Greed: …So? That…doesn't bother me.**

_(Looks back on all the comments I have left before)_

Oh. My. God.

Was I really that big a bitch?

I'M SO SORRY!

I'm sorry to everyone I have said anything mean to, except Tucker. _I'm not sorry__ for him._

Scar: Sorry for that Fishbalalama thing. You're not too religious. You can be as religious as you want and I won't gripe.

To Roy: You're not a bitch, you're just a horse's bu-Uhh, I mean...you're a...uhh...nice guy. I think...If it's not Ed, then who? WHO RIDES THE MUSTANG? Sorry, just had to ask. It's not RIZA, is it?

To Maes: I don't like how everyone calls you by your last name. It makes you sound like some stranger or one of those guys with sticks shoved up their asses. You call Roy 'Roy' but he calls you 'Hughes'. Why?

To Al: May you be blessed with many new kitties.

To Fletcher: You're so cute! The way your hair sticks up makes me want to pet you! I was thinking about getting a new kitten or puppy, but can I have you instead?

To Winry: Has anyone ever asked you to make Automail FINGERS? That would be too weird...

To _Izumi__: Have I ever addressed you? Sorry! I think you're cool! Your hair and clothes are a cool style! If you ever met up with Hohenheim in the anime, he would have surely been impressed. You could probably even beat him with your alchemy!_

To Hohenheim: No offense. You're awesome too. I can see why Envy is so jealous of Ed for taking you. If I marry Ed, will you treat me like your daughter?

To Marta: Remember I said we looked so alike I could cosplay as you? Well, not any more. I shaved my head bald. But you're still my favorite character!

To Pride: Some things look SO creepy, that you just can't stop staring at them. (I'm talking 'bout your hairy chest)

Now I have an advice question, if anyone would like to answer (Preferably the people I have addressed so far):

A girl my age (16) proposed to me! What do I do? Should I marry her or keep stalking you guys or what?

On a final note: Every last one of you, good or evil, manga or anime, are all totally awesome except for Tucker and Basq Gran. Those two suck.

HisokaYukikoBakaKonekoRKL: Ohay thar. I added you on LiveJournal. Just so you know. That's me XD

**Scar: Glad I have your approval…**

**Roy: Hey…watch it! And that's none of your business!**

**Hughes: Well, he ranks higher than me, so he can call me what he likes, I guess. But he calls me by my first name, too, you know.**

**Al: Thank you!**

**Fletcher: Thanks! Um…I think? I-I'm not a pet, though…you might want to go with a kitten or puppy.**

**Winry: Yup, I've done fingers before. I mean, they're a part of automail arms anyway, so doing just the fingers is really pretty easy!**

**Izumi: Thank you.**

**Hohenheim: Well thanks…but I'm not sure you can cross over dimensions like that.**

**Marta: That's too bad. Well, you could always do it when your hair grows back…**

**Pride: …It's not the best idea to insult a homunculus.**

**Al: Um, I don't think it's a good idea to get married or agree to marry someone at such a young age.**

**Winry: A person's brain isn't fully developed at 16; that's why the legal adult age is 18. But even so, it's a good idea to wait until your early 20's to marry; you don't want to make a mistake so early in your life.**

**Fletcher: But if you like her, you could still go out with her, right? If the relationship ends up lasting through the years…well, then you could get married!**

_(bursts through the door, trips and falls. Gets up, trips again, and falls out of shoes)_

For some reason, I've been very clumsy lately. It's confusing...

Anyway, yay, you're back! I thought (once again) you had died and stuff. I'm glad you didn't. That would have made me sad.

So anyway, time to respond!

ZILO'S MEANINGLESS CHATTER

To Authoress: Yes, I will e-mail. If I ever remember when I have free time. I forget stuff a lot. But anyway, I found out about some kind of con coming near me next month, and they're welcoming a Japanese celebrity I'd really like to meet. I might go, if I can coordinate things...ooh, but what about MangaNEXT? Where is it?

To Ed: I pick A. Say thanks. I've punched him out before. Yeah, that probably makes sense. And don't call her a "random chick"!! That sounds totally derogatory!! (shakes finger at Ed)

To Envy: Because you don't have a cape? I don't know.

To Dante: ...Oh...well, I wasn't really worried. Oh, say, hey, what would you do if you found out there was some "random chick" (gives Ed meaningful glare) hanging out with Ed who could, like, see the future? And had already Envy off earlier by revealing she knew everything about him?

To Al: DON'T! THE NEIGHBOR HAS A SHOTGUN NOW!

Okay, so where was I?

To Rose: Whatever happened to your family? Like, the parents?

To Winry: Thanks for your advice. I'm actually employed elsewhere now.

To...I don't know, whoever cares: Some drunk buffoon TOTALED MY PRECIOUS CAR!! I'm very sad.

MOM CAME BACK TO RECEIVE THE RESPONSES

Edward: Do I? It makes sense, as I homeschooled my children up through middle school. It is less practical to carry around a pair of scissors when you're trying to save the world, or whatever it is you and your brother are doing. But it's good to have a strong bond between siblings.

Envy: An interesting response. I would have guessed that the same appearance for, 300? (Zilo: 400) Yes, 400 years might become a bit old. But I wouldn't know these things since I haven't lived 400 years, but now I hear that you have this, as Zilo put it "bloodthirsty desire to destroy all filthy humans" ...That's a very interesting description. Can you explain why you have this "bloodthirsty desire"? (Zilo: Again, Envy, one bad word to my mom...and you'll regret it. I know several fangirls who would make your life hell)

Dante: Immortality does have its perks. I know several people who would prefer something else, however, me being one of them. I'm not particularly interested in sticking around watching the world go to hell in a handbasket. Which is why when my daughters asked, I replied no, I wouldn't want to be a vampire.

AND THE LOVELY MOTHER EXITS...

I guess immortality would be like "Once you pop, you can't stop!" or something to that effect. Kind of like how I am with manga. And candy. Speaking of candy... (gives Wrath a bowl of candy) I don't like these kinds, here you go! Oh, and no I'm not done.

SHI RETURNS FROM CAPTIVITY TO BUG PEOPLE

Riza: How come you don't wear your hair down?

Greed: All my friends call you a pimp. Why? You been doing some pimp-like activities lately?

Havoc: It might not be marijuana, but you're still gonna die with yellowed teeth, shriveled lungs, cancerous growths, and NO GIRLFRIEND.

Envy: ...If anyone has marijuana, I bet it's you.

Ed: ...(kicks Ed in the shin then runs from sister's wrath)

I didn't ask Shi to do that. (hands Ed an icepack) Why is my little sister so evil? Dante? Did you put some "Act like the spawn of Satan" powder in her drink or something?

Okay, now I'm done. Hurry back! But not with scissors in your hands!  
--Zilo Sugarpill and Co. (formerly of the Blue Pen)

**BakaKonekoRKL: See how fast I was this time? :D Like super speed! Haha. Because I have writer's block on my other story. Anyway, what convention, and which celebrity? MangaNEXT is in New Jersey; you can go to the website, www (dot) manganext (dot) org for details! And I already e-mailed you. I win XD**

**Ed: Alright, alright, sorry!**

**Envy: …And why would I want a cape?**

**Dante: Try to get her to work for me, and if she refused, kill her.**

**Al: Ahh!! Nooo!**

**Rose: Oh…my parents died.**

**Ed: Can't insurance pay for some of that? Anyway…I don't exactly carry scissors around with me; I usually trim it when I stop by someone's house I know. But it doesn't grow all that fast, so it's alright.**

**Envy: After a while, you get used to it. Plus I have changed for periods of time within those 400 years, so it's not so bad. And well…I just don't like humans, alright?! Hohenheim, especially….He's what started my hate!**

**Dante: Well, that's you, I guess. And…I'm not a vampire.**

**Wrath: Ah, yay!! I haven't gotten anything for a while now! **(eats candies)

**Riza: I wear it down sometimes, just not often, and never at work. For one, it can get in the way if it's not tied back, and for another, it looks more professional tied up.**

**Greed: Well yeah, I guess so.**

**Havoc: Yes…but…well…just leave me alone!! **(whimpers)

**Envy: I'm not an idiot.**

**Ed: Ha! That was my automail leg! Nice try. Haha!**

**Dante: Now why would I do _that_…?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: My friend's mom told her she was the spawn of satan XD Just thought that was rather ironic…**

**OK SO YEAH. THAT WAS A FAST UPDATE. I'll try to get it done like this more often. I feel…accomplished :D**

…**Except for the fact that I still have summer homework to do. Damn.**


	71. Chapter 71

And now, summer is coming to a close for me

**And now, summer is coming to a close for me. How sad. Well, you know what they say: Highschool never ends!! D: -is obsessed with that song-**

_**Anyway, as the issue has come up yet again, don't have your own conversation within a review or whatever. Don't reply with crack. Because I just won't put it in, plain and simple. I don't want to be mean, but how am I supposed to answer something that you've answered yourself? And the questions don't have to be totally serious (knitting blankets plzkthx lawl), but don't make them out of the blue. That's what makes me take 6 months to update. That's why the last update was like BAM fast.**_

_Havoc__  
Favorite color?  
Do you have any pets?_

_Greed__  
Why did you have to allow yourself to die? You're so awesome!_

Al  
Funniest thing you seen besides Ed getting mad at the short jokes?

Velvet Sin

**Havoc: Nah, I don't have any pets. My favorite color is gray.**

**Greed: I know.**

**Al: I saw him walk into a door once. He wasn't looking and someone opened a door, and he just walked into it! Heehee!**

**Ed: …It's not funny.**

_Envy__  
Ever transform into a crow?_

Scar  
Why do people assume you are religious?  
How do you over come depression?  
I think Al might of had some respect for you. I kind of noticed that though I don't think he will forgive you for turning him into the stone.

Lust  
First thing you would of done if you became human?  
Which person/non-human did you hate?

Falman  
Are you single?

_Akiha Hakare_

**Envy: Yeah, I think once or twice to get somewhere and keep an eye on things.**

**Scar: Because I'm the only person who believes in religion in the show, pretty much. If you're using "you" in terms of people in general, they have medication for depression. Though I suppose you could also try to cheer yourself up in general by doing things you like to do.**

**Al: Oh no, don't worry, I've forgiven him! I mean, it's all worked out, right?**

**Lust: Oh, I don't know. Buy a new dress. Wrath has annoyed me a bit.**

**Falman: Er…yeah…**

_Scar  
How come people think that your death was more of a wish of suicide?  
Your thoughts as you fought Kimblee?  
Any advice of overcoming thoughts of suicide? same question to Roy_

Dr. Marcoh  
I can't even spell your name right. Did I even get it right?  
Any regrets?

Akira Tomyei

**Scar: I've never heard of anyone thinking that, but I suppose someone might think that because I was too injured to really fight, so it was similar to suicide. And my thoughts…well, I realized that I was probably going to die. Like the reviewer before you, I believe there's medication you can take.**

**Roy: And you should talk to someone about it. A parent, a counselor, even an online friend.**

**Marcoh: No, but it's been fixed. Nice try, though. I have so many regrets; too many to list here.**

_Envy__  
Does Wrath ever annoy you?_

Maes  
Does your first name ever get made fun of? I mean it sounds like the month of May and can be rhymed with so many names?  
Any advice on confidence?  
-hugs _Hughes__ in a friendly way-_

Ed  
When you will ever remain calm Shortfishstick?

Askani Tatalus

**Envy: Not usually, but occasionally.**

**Hughes: Not really, but I get your point. It also sounds like the French and Native American words for "corn". If you want to be more confidant, try doing things you know you'll be good at and let other people see. With positive feedback, you'll feel encouraged to push your boundaries and try new things, which will in turn help you to become more confidant. If you're good at singing, try out for a solo. If you're good at acting, try out for a play. If you're good at art, display your art!**

**Ed: I AM CALM, YOU TALLERMCMUFFIN.**

_Kain  
Ever had a lonely day?  
hugs him  
Weirdest story or saying you ever heard?  
Do you still believe in ghosts?_

Dorochet  
What have you chased once?

Scar  
Thanks. I knew that you were kind of different than what people portray you to be which seriously annoys me. I think I do see you as a bit of a hero because those that harmed your people did get what was coming to them. Killer or not, you still show that there is even more to you than meets the eye. Was it a hard choice to let Liore become a trap for the military?  
We do have something in common because we deal with a lot of tragedy around us. I had to deal with a lot of things including deaths and accidents and you had to deal with the loss of Ishbal and your family. I also felt lonely a lot. gets herself a tissue I just about actually cried for real.  
Honestly, if your brother was alive, what would he have said to you about all the events that had happened? it's a "what if" question  
Your view on justice?  
You would think that I would not have so many questions to ask you but I do. At least you were able to tolerate it so I thank you for that.  
Any advice for over coming fears I got a fear of lightning since one broke a chalkboard in half when I was younger?  
I think there is always controversy on who is innocent is not. Would you agree?  
Do you think you are misunderstood?  
Is there a way to prevent a person from feeling lonely and so empty?  
Did you feel that your life had any meaning before and after the Ishbal Massacre?  
hugs Scar and then sits down in a chair  
How did you overcome the loss of your brother? I'm sure it was just as hard and considering I lost my cousin she died at the age of 17 who felt like a sister, I do have sympathy for you.

Havoc  
laughs at his pickup line Well I clearly bought that one. Is there any names that you have for Roy that you never used at the office?  
You're welcome.  
Know any jokes? I think talking to Scar may have made me cry.

Sonar

**Fuery: Of course; everyone has a lonely day sometimes. I think the saying "It's raining cats and dogs!" is pretty strange…and mean. I mean, those poor animals would get hurt! And…yes, I still believe in ghosts…just a little.**

**Dorchet: Well, I haven't actually chased anything, but I've been tempted. You know, cars and the like…**

**Scar: Well, thank you. It was a hard choice, because I was killing people; however, they were the military. That's…very sad. I'm very sorry for you. Maybe you could try to make new friends, and especially online ones are always there for you. Try an anime convention; those always seem to make people happy. I can't say my brother would completely like what I was doing, but I can't say he would totally disagree with it, either. Justice is never completely right; that's why people come up with things like "Death Note" (it seems you may like it). People think their sense of justice is right when it conflicts with those of others. And it's alright; you're one of the few people who have been taking me seriously. Coming over fears is difficult, and not every method works for every person. You could try talking to people about it, and talk out why you're afraid. If you can rationalize your fear, you won't be afraid of it anymore. You could also try to confront your fear directly; in your case, watch a thunderstorm through a window (though you may want to start with just videos of storms online). After a while, you'll feel more comfortable. I also agree with your statement there. I think there are many aspects to my personality, so it's less of a misunderstanding and more of a "they just don't see the whole picture". To feel less lonely, try to make new friends. Even if you're shy, it's easy to do on the internet; I'm sure the author here, for example, would talk to you online. You can keep getting introduced to new friends all the time. Life always has meaning; otherwise we wouldn't be here. I'm very sorry for your loss. You never completely get over it, but if you can find new hobbies, more things to fill your time, you'll find yourself thinking about her less and it won't hurt as much.**

**Havoc: Yeah, well…Haha, I'm glad! But no, I don't think I have any other names for Roy…Huh, maybe I should work on that…Hmm, jokes? Ok, ok, why are frogs good at baseball?**

**All: ………**

**Havoc: Because they're good at catching flies! Haha…You get it? …Guys…?**

_To Fuery:  
People will prank anyone who seems either Naive, glasses, animal lover or all three combined, ESPECIALLY ALL THREE COMBINED! Don't worry I'm a victim too and I have a black thick framed glasses too though this is just coincidence, I suppose; anyways my question is why can't you be angry to those who pranked you? I mean, I didn't go berserk a year ago but this year I tried to fight back D:_

To the Authoress:  
If this is anime-base can you put in some manga characters?

KOKOroNOmondai

**Fuery: True. Well, don't try to physically fight back, or you'll get in trouble! Use your words, perhaps. Maybe if you get different glasses or contacts, people won't pick on you as much? Me, I just ignore it all. It doesn't bother me as much as you'd think, I guess.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Ano…hai. I mean, if anyone asks them questions, or whatever, they'll answer. I mentioned it in earlier chapters heehee. Also, sorry I had to edit some things; spoilers, you know?**

_OH MY GOSH. I LOSE.  
Wow, it sucks when you forget stuff so much that other people have to remind you. (Mom: Hear, hear! (gives Zilo meaningful glance)) Anyway, you updated so quickly! I clicked onto my fav stories and saw you at the top and went "HOLY CANOLI!" and fell out of the chair. My family laughed at me...  
(Shi: It was funny)  
Yes, but. Anyhow..._

ZILO  
...NO WITTY STATEMENT

To Authoress: It is the Chibi-Pa Festival in _West Palm Beach, Florida__, September 8th? I think. And the celebrity is Makoto Nagano!! He's famous for winning a bunch on Ninja Warrior (which is one of my all-time favorite shows) And GARH! I don't live very close to NJ. I think I'm going to attempt to sort out my LJ account and friend you so I can experience cons vicariously through you, and/or hunt you down on YT to do the same thing._

To Ed: You're forgiven. (pats head) That was my cousin you were talking about, is all.

To Envy: To strangle fangirls? I don't know.

Dante: Really? (excited) That's awesome, because that's what I planned for you to do! Hooray! (hugs) Oh, sorry if you didn't want a hug. But I'm just really happy!

To Al: Phew...that was close. Don't tell my mom this, but I think the neighbors got the shotgun because of Shi. No joke.

To Rose: Oh no! I'm so sorry I asked! (gives hugs and feel-better chocolate) My first dad died, so I know how that is...

To Ed (again): Yep. But it was still my car that I lovingly customized. A Mustang! Because I liked Roy! (tears up and sniffles a little) Ah, crap, I have no tissues...does somebody have a tissue?

MOM BECOMES A TRILOGY

Ed: That's a vicarious way of styling your hair. I'm afraid I really don't like long hair and trim mine once a week. But that, of course, is your prerogative.

Envy: Hmm. This Hohenheim person sounds familiar. I'm not too familiar with the series. Oh, Zilo says he was the "old guy at the end whose chest was decaying". That description's a bit confusing. She also says that in the movie you ate him. Um...let me come back to you.

Dante: No, you're certainly not. That particular conversation with my daughters came after they finished reading the _Twilight series__. So now I have actual questions. What did you originally look like? And do you prefer the bodies of women who resemble your original appearance? Why or why not?_

Envy: All right, I have gotten confirmation from Zilo that you can shape-shift into animals. So that explains why you...ate Hohenheim in the movie.

SHI DOES...WHAT?

Riza: Hmm. Then why not a bun? Why the clip-thing?

Greed: Did they even HAVE pimps in your time? You speak ebonics? How much hair gel do you use a day? Is that fur real?

Envy: I beg to differ.

Ed: ...(Shi holds foot and limps away, disgusted)

Scar: If you're trying to blend in so you can murder alchemists effectively, why the bright yellow jacket? Why not, say, a jet-black catsuit or something?

Okay, that's it. And for the record, I have no idea, Dante, I was just hoping my sister isn't that naturally evil. Yay for quick update! DO IT AGAIN!

Zilo Sugarpill (and the fam)

**BakaKonekoRKL: WHAT DO YOU LOSE?! YOUR MIND!? XD Kidding…Oh…that's like…Lol, I think it's the 8****th**** today, technically…Since my Senior pictures (bleh D: ) are on the 9****th****, and that's Tuesday, it's Monday even though it's like 2am…Anyway. My uncle also lives in Florida, but when he came up here to visit in June, I bought his daughter a manga. She's 8. They're coming back next year, and I intend to otaku her mind more XD Yeah, LJ isn't too hard, I mean, **_**I **_**figured out how to use it, after all lol. And yeah, I just put up a slideshow of AN 08 :D On YouTube.**

**Ed: Ah. I get it. I'm sorry.**

**Envy: That's right. You DON'T know.**

**Dante: Um…yes, please get off. You know, normally I'd attempt to turn you into a Philosopher's Stone or something, but I guess I'm just feeling generous or something today.**

**Al: R-Really!? You'd better make sure she stays out of their yard…D:**

**Rose: Oh, no, it's fine…and I'm so sorry… **(shares chocolates with Zilo)

**Ed: …A Mustang? Why not an Elric!?**

**Roy: Obviously, because I'm better than you are. **(smiles smugly)

**Ed: Are not!**

**Winry: Hey, the poor girl's crying over here! **(gives tissues, then goes into in-depth conversation about car customization)

**Ed: Hmm, yeah, I see. Well, that's what you like, and this is what I like. Everyone likes different stuff.**

**Envy: …Yeah. You come back to me.**

**Dante: Seems like everyone's read those books. Makes sense, I suppose. Well, I guess my original appearance wasn't too different from this one **(A/N Lyra's body, not the old lady lol)**; my hair was a bit longer and curlier, but I still wore these same kinds of dresses and my hair was still dark. You can ask your daughters; there's a flashback somewhere in the series to when my Hohenheim and I made a Stone…It doesn't really matter if the body looks like my original body as long as she's attractive. For example, Rose looked nothing like me, but she was pretty; **_**that's**_** why I chose her. It's interesting to have changes and try different things out.**

**Envy: All that…you made me wait…**

**Riza: Because I like the "clip-thing". Anyway, it's almost like a bun, but I like how the hair kind of sticks out at the top.**

**Greed: Funny, the things you can learn from the internet…My hair is…uh…natural. And of course the fur is real! Who do you think I am?!**

**Ed: That's what you get…**

**Scar: First of all, the jacket is not **_**bright**_** yellow. Secondly, a catsuit would stick out even more.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: I'M TRYING! I would've updated tonight (current time is 2:04 am on Sept. 8, 2008) except I got a few more reviews XD Who knows, maybe I'll make it…**

_Envy, you are quite mistaken, see - quilts are much more often family heirlooms because they are made of several squares, and each generation adds more! While a blanket is usually composed differently. And if you're not a __palm tree__... you're... something... spiky? But definitely not a human! :D Or a homunculus! ...Are you SURE you're not a palm tree?_

Al, I told you you should've ran! D: I mean, then come back, but, you know, when Ed is feeling happy or something (or drunk).

September Rhyme

**Envy: Ok, well, **_**sorry **_**I'm not up to date on the latest quilting fads. ARGH, YES, YES, YES I AM A HOMONCULUS! Honestly, how could I be something else?!**

**Al: I-I'm sorry, but I just couldn't do that!**

**Ed: …I don't drink. I'm underage. What the hell.**

_All: thanks for answering my questions!_

Ed: Here's a red and black motorcycle and here's the keys to it gives him the keys and points to the bike See...it has the crest on it :D

Roy: here's a blue and black motorcycle and the keys to it. It has the same symbol as on your glove.

_Yami__ Ookami- "Ed and Roy, these bikes are alchemy proof and __bullet proof__. btw...its a secret of how these were made." (wink)_

Enjoy you two! :D don't kill each other...

Ed's dark half is powerful to surpass all homunculi...defeating them: he wouldn't have to lift a finger! so...Roy...he'll pummel you less than 1 sec!

Al and Winry- XD lol hungry Ed

Ja ne! have a great day! :D  
Ookami Bakura

**Ed: Ah, cool! How does one go about riding it?**

**Roy: It's like a bike.**

**Ed: …I never got the chance to learn how to ride a bike.**

**Roy: You're kidding.**

**Ed: It's what happens when your father freaking abandons you and your mom dies, so then you run off to learn alchemy with your brother at a young age.**

**Roy: Hm. That sucks.**

**Ed: Tell me about it.**

_To Roy: I got it! Black Hayate rides the Mustang! Eww...!_

To _Winry__: But automail fingers are so stupid! I mean, I can understand if someone loses a whole limb, but a finger? Can't they live just fine without a coupe of fingers?_

To Hohenheim: ;; It sucks... You're like, the coolest person in the world! How can Ed not appreciate you? I wish you were MY father. My real dad is an A-hole.

I'm doing it again, aren't I? Insulting people for no reason. It just comes out. How do I stop it?

About my previous question, I decided not to marry Brianna. She's not my type.

-HisokaYukiko

Roy: …That's…just…disgusting…

**Winry: Well, if you loose three fingers and your trade involves working with your hands, you pretty much need those fingers or you can't work.**

**Hohenheim: Uh…R-really? Well thanks!**

**Ed: BECAUSE HE ABANDONED US! MY MOTHER DIED! HOW CAN I **_**NOT**_** HATE HIM!? Anyway, it seems like you may insult people when you are, for example, upset about something (that's my guess anyway). Just calm yourself down and maybe talk to people about it. Think about what you're going to say and if you think it's going to hurt someone's feelings, word it differently or don't say it at all.**

**Winry: There's a manga, only 4 chapters, called "You're My Girlfriend" (which you can find on ). The main girl sort of blurts out things like how you tend to do. You may find it interesting or helpful in some way, I don't know.**

_Lei: That was SO FAST!  
Sein: Wow, it's great to hear from you so soon!  
Lei: Now to respond and--  
Sein: Tradition time!  
Lei: Authoress! (slaps high five) It sounds like a lot of fun, know what I'm sayin'? (looks around)  
Sein: She means online.  
Lei: Oh! I wished we lived in NJ so we could go to your cons and see you!  
Sein: Yes, it's too bad. If I were to go to the con, I would probably dress up as __Saki Hanajima__. I look like her.  
Lei: I'd be a black Ed, because I'm short too.  
Sein: We don't have a LiveJournal, but now we're extremely tempted to get one!  
Lei: We're also tempted to get a FanFiction account, because anonymous reviews aren't the !  
Sein: ...But anyway! So we might be contacting you on LiveJournal soon!  
Lei: Yo, Ed! I get what you're sayin', man, and I guess I could try the non-violent way. But everybody knows me as the violent chick.  
Sein: It's time for some different PR, I think.  
Lei: Yeah, I guess. AWMAHGAHSH! All my favorite Homuncs picked me!  
Sei: "Homuncs"?? Some of them picked me too, you know...  
Lein: Greed and Yo Authoress picked us both!  
Sein: So it looks like it's a tie.  
Lei: WHO WANTS TO BE THE TIEBREAKER??  
Sein: Stop that!  
Lei: Sure!  
Sein: We're glad we cleared it up for you, Authoress!  
Lei: But we might end up changin' it in the near future, yo! So beware!  
Sein: Elysia!! (hugs) You're just so cute! (continues to hug)  
Lei: Yo Gracia, can you hook me up with that apple pie of yours?  
Sein: (still hugging Elysia) Oh, I think I completely forgot what questions I wanted to ask this time! Elysia distracted me!  
Lei: Yo, Hughes, I think Sein wants to see some pictures.  
Sein: (too busy hugging Elysia to respond)  
Lei: Okay, we're gonna split, yo! (runs around high-fiving people, slaps Ed on the back, daps Havoc, pats Roy's head and punches Envy's shoulder)  
Sein: I wish I could babysit you, Elysia!  
Lei: Okay, come on, Sein, let's bounce!  
Sein: (sighs, regretfully releases Elysia) Goodbye, all!  
Lei: Peace out!!_

--Lei Z. and B. Ond Sein

**BakaKonekoRKL: **(high-fives back) **I might be going to Otakon next year (though by now, I kinda doubt it)…? But then, I have no idea where you are XD Funny you mention Hana-chan; I was going to be her for the Fruits Basket picnic, but when I got there, I heard it had been cancelled! But later I heard people talking about it…I'd missed it! D: So I didn't get to wear it, but hey, that's less black dye I had to wash out of my hair. And the Ouran picnic DEFINITELY made up for it…Mmmm…Anyway, hai, get FanFiction, LiveJournal, and maybe even YouTube accounts :D**

**Ed: Y-Yeah, well. You could always change that image, you know?**

**Greed: Well, of **_**course**_** I picked you both. I'm Greed, after all.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: B-But I just got it straightened out! Lol. Maybe I'll finish this before you can change it (though I doubt that).**

**Elysia: Heehee! Yay! **(hugs back)

**Gracia: You're in luck; I just finished baking one. Here you go. **(hands over a slice of pie)

**Hughes: Well, see this picture of her sleeping on the couch? That was from the time where-**

**Ed: Ah!**

**Havoc: Hey!**

**Roy: …What do I look like? A kitten?**

**Envy: HEY!!**

**Elysia: Awww. Owkays, bye-bye! **(waves)

Hughes: -And she was just so cute! Anyway-

_First! Scar, you don't have enough fangirls. Why do you think that is? D: BUT DON'T WORRY, I AM ONE. -tackleglomps- Mwahaha, and I love all the episodes where you're injured. Especially "Bonding Memories"._

Second question: How old are you, exactly?! I've never quite figured that out.

Third question: You love Lust, don't you? :3 Such a cute pairing...

4th: Do you still consider Ed your enemy? And what do you think of Al?

5th: Why are you such an idiot? What POSSESSED you to go out and try to make a P_hilosopher's Stone__?! I mean, you were trying to kill Ed for a while because he was trying to do that! Seriously, did you take one too many blows to the head?_

_6__th__: Is it...creepy that I sort of have a crush on you? (like a fangirl-ish crush. xD) -hugs- You're my favorite character and always have been. -hugs again- Why don't more peoples like you? -whinewhine-_

Hughes: You're another of my favorite characters, but probably second place to Scar. The way you gush and brag about your daughter and wife is so cute. -hugs you too- I cried on the episode that you died and never watched that episode again. Okay, question: If Elysia was a boy, what would you have named him?

Roy: You're one of the characters that I liked that actually didn't die_! Wewt. Anyway, you think of Ed as kind of like a son--it's so obvious, don't deny it. And everyone on the planet knows you love Riza, so just suck it up and ask her out, damn it. But a question for you too: Do you think Scar was justified in his whole state-alchemist tirade? And, just to be random: What's your favorite food?_

Batty

**Scar: …Apparently, I'm pretty popular. I can't decide if that's a good thing or not…My age is a secret; let's just say I'm between the ages of 20 and 40. I loved the woman who Lust was supposed to be. Ed and Al aren't quite my enemies, but they aren't really my friends, either. I have sympathy for them, though, since they remind me of my brother and myself. For your fifth question…well, things change. And finally, yes, it is a little… "creepy". Could you…let you?**

**Hughes: 2nd place, eh? Well…I still beat out Roy! Hahaha! Aw, thanks! Hmm, if Elysia was a boy? Maes Jr.! Alright, alright, not really. Maybe I would've named "him" after Roy or something, I'm not sure.**

**Roy: I'd er…Like to point out that you're wrong on both counts there. I guess Scar was justified…it doesn't make what he did RIGHT, but I can see where he's coming from. For the record, my favorite food is udon noodle soup. It's great on a cold day!**

……**Wow. Fast update again! Probably because I don't wanna write my essay D: Damn summer homework…**

**Anyway. It's 3am here –dies- My (younger) sister keeps telling me to go to bed (no, ask Lit, she'll tell you it's true!). You're lucky I finished this just in time XD I hope I'll be able to update again before school starts; if not, know that on Sunday, Sept. 14th 2008 at SunCoasts, F.Y.E.s, Saturday Matinees in many places is "Animania" where you can cosplay and do trivia! So ask at your local place and go! I am.**

**Till next time :D**


	72. Chapter 72

**First off: ONE REVIEW PER PERSON PER CHAPTER KTHXBAI.**

**Secondly: ****ATTENTION READERS AND REVIEWERS****: I'M HOLDING A FANART CONTEST. Zilo mentioned some contest in her review, and I thought "Oh, contest! We should have one!" So, we're having a fanart contest. Here are the rules:**

**1. Must include some kind of inside joke from the column, whether it was mentioned once or 1,000 times. Also must be mostly/all FMA (you may include characters from other shows, if it applies).**

**2. QUOTE where the joke came from (like use the words I/whoever said). Include the chapter as well, even if it was this one. I can't remember everything. If you do NOT and I can't remember it, you'll be disqualified D:**

**3. You may draw me. XD As long as FMA charries are in it as well lol.**

**4. Please E-MAIL ME the images (see profile). It can be a link or an ATTACHMENT. DO NOT SUMBIT VIA REVIEW OR IT WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED. ANYTHING involving this MUST be e-mailed!! Original work ONLY. Include your USERNAME or you'll be disqualified.**

**5. PG-13 and lower. Yaoi and/or yuri is allowed (what have I done…?). ONE ENTRY PER PERSON.**

**6. Deadline is Halloween (aka day 1 of MangaNEXT). I'm thinking of the prize being for 1st, a 2-page handwritten letter and fanart of your choice sent to your house, 2nd is a 1 page handwritten letter and fanart of MY choice sent to your house, and 3rd is just a 1-page handwritten letter sent. What do you think? Of course, you don't have to give your addresses until after you've won, and if you'd rather not give me your address, I could just put it on my DA for you. **

**7. You'll be judged on humor (10pts), the art itself (5pts) and uniqueness (5pts), like Iron Chef. Me, my sister, and our FMA obsessed friend will judge. Unique doesn't necessarily mean no one else used the same joke as you, but the WAY you used the joke. If you're not an good artist, if it's unique and funny you could still win! The winners' names will be posted up in the column after the contest ends.**

**8. You MUST have had a question published in this column to participate.**

**9. You can draw a comic, rather than just one picture, if you wish. TYPE any dialogue. And don't smush the letters/drawings together or you'll loose points.**

**10. Have fun!**

_To Roy: (__Snickers__) You didn't deny that statement!__Disregard __that.  
Just how far can you go with automail? (Cause Archer in the last few episodes was like, half-robot.)_

To Winry: Umm... what about toes? Okay, that was a stupid question.

To Ed: I think you're the one who needs to calm down. NOW APOLOGIZE TO YOUR FATHER!

How can I not insult people? O.o

-HisokaYukiko

Roy: I didn't confirm it, either! And what I said was as good as denying it. Though if you must have it, then I officially deny, alright?

**Winry: I guess if people crush their toes, then sure. Personally, I don't think I could go as far as whoever did Archer's could, but you could probably make about half a body out of automail yet still consider them human.**

**Ed: UM, DON'T THINK SO.**

**Al: Try just insulting them in your head. If you don't say it out loud, you can't get in trouble, and you won't get the other person angry or upset, yet you still get the satisfaction of insulting them. It's all about self control.**

_Loved the latest chapter, as usual BakaKonekoRKL.__hilosopher's Stone__? Fun? :D Also, what was up with you in the End of the show? All this, "I can't use the stone" stuff. For heaven's sake, you could've just busted into the Homunculi's base, and tear them to shreds! They wouldn't be able to fight back! --__Alchemists__?_

Anyways, My problem has come up once again, of having to pester the FMA cast  
with a whole lot of questions.

Ed: Why don't you like milk? Would you drink it if you didn't know where it came from? :

Al: What's it feel like to be a P

Scar: Wouldn't lobbying against the Amestrian Goverment be a better alternative to murdering State

Roy: There's a common saying, "You are what you eat". What do you eat? (I just wanted to know, since your so sour, I'm guessing lemons for breakfast.)

_Raezek_

**BakaKonekoRKL: You flatter me :D**

**Ed: Because! It's a gross opaque liquid that comes from a cow! Even if I didn't know where it came from, I'd still think that it tasted bad. Since, you know, it does.**

**Al: Um, no, not really. It's kinda scary, actually. And kind of weird. I mean, you think it'd be a stone, not a…me D: Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what you mean, but we didn't want to use me…the stone…er…because whenever we started to try to (or, whenever Brother would use Alchemy near me), part of me would kind of…melt away, I guess?**

**Scar: Perhaps. But it's less effective.**

**Roy: For breakfast, usually coffee. Then usually some kind of meaty sandwich for lunch. And dinner always varies. But never lemons. Where the hell did you get that idea!?**

_What do I lose? Me no know...Oh, wait! Maybe my balance? I am pretty clumsy. Honestly, I forgot what I lose. If I remember, I'll tell you. Know what was funny? I was logging in to review, and they made me do the captcha thing, and guess what one of the words was? __Greed__! Maybe they know I like Greed... But anyway!__Makoto Nagano__ too, so I would've had company! But it couldn't be helped. Some enormous jerk pushed Shi down a flight of stairs at her school, so we stayed in the hospital with her. HE BROKE HER ARM! I'M GONNA KILL HIM!!__red rock__ of power...and stuff. No more hugging, promise. How about friendly waves? (waves friendlily, is that a word?)_

ZILO'S SECTION

To Authoress: I MISSED THE CON. (great big giant tears of depression) What super sucks is my mom even wanted to go, because she likes

To Scar: I know you don't do favors, but would you go and murder Shi's attacker? Any jerk who picks on girls a year younger and a foot shorter than them deserves to have their brains blown out.

To Envy: If Scar doesn't do it, will you?

To Dante: I appreciate it. I like being a human and not a...

To Al: Meh, we won't have to worry about that for a while. Hey, could you visit Shi in the hospital and make her feel better? She likes you.

To Rose: Oh, well, I'm glad I didn't hurt your feelings! (hugs again and happily shares chocolate)

To Ed: Hey, don't let it bug you, Ed, we don't have any Elric brand cars. If they make one, I'll be the first one to STEAL--er, I mean, LEGALLY BUY, one.

To Winry: Yay, Winry understands my pain! (kind of pays attention at first, then mind wanders after a minute) Yeah, I just kind of got what looked nice.

To anybody: One of my friends thinks I'm clumsy on purpose. I'm really not. I trip over things and break things and run into walls completely on accident! But she threatened to stop hanging out with me if I don't drop the act. Advice, anyone?

To Dante (again): Thanks for answering my mom. I'll pass the message along--at this precise moment, she's at the hospital with Shi.

To Envy: HEY! If you've got something not nice to say to my mom, you'd better can it!

To All who responded to Shi: Thanks for responding, guys. I'll pass the message along to Shi. But she did tell me to tell Ed she's sorry for kicking him, even if it only hurt her. Oh, and to tell Greed she doesn't believe him about the hair, the fur, or the research. (shrugs)

Okay, so that's all I've got for now. You did it, Authoress! Can I start calling you BK? Because 'Authoress' seems so formal. Anyway, great job on the speedy updating!! Keep up the good work!

--Zilo Sugarpill (alone for once)

P.S. I REMEMBER WHAT I LOSE! The e-mail contest. Was it a contest? Me no  
know...

**Greed: It's probably because I'm so great…**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Aww. Best wishes to your sister, from me and the cast! E-Er, but don't kill the guy, just take it to the principal or whatever.**

**Scar: I believe that warrants my help. **(goes to find the guy)

**Envy: Not for your sister, but for the fun of killing someone? Sure thing…**

**Dante: …Whatever. And no, I've never heard that word before, but Word didn't say it was a spelling error. So go figure.**

**Al: Aww, sure thing! I remember when Ed was in the hospital…**

**Ed: Well you SHOULD have Elric cars! Why not? Huh!?**

**Winry: You should try to be more careful, first of all. See if you can take some kind of class to help you with grace, such as martial arts or dance. And you should also talk to her with other people to back you up. But really, if she's threatening to stop being friends with you over such a trivial reason, you should consider if you really want to even continue being friends with her in the first place.**

**Dante: Sure thing…**

**Envy: Yeah, yeah. Whatever.**

**Ed: It's alright.**

**Greed: …Her loss…**

**BakaKonekoRKL: I would say yes, but BK reminds me of Burger King, and the thing is, we're watching Supersize Me in Nutrition (never ever watch that movie D: ) and I've sworn to never eat fast food again (even though I only ate at McDonald's twice a year, but whatever). So it kinda freaks me out lol. But if you wanna be more informal, my irl nickname is Rhi, but a lot of people online call me Saya or Haruhi. It's your call. OH WAIT WE'RE HAVING AN E-MAIL CONTEST NOW!? I should think of something like that…OMG I HAVE AN IDEA (and that would be what you see at the top of this column lol).**

**All: Get better soon, Shi!!**

_Dear Ed,  
In a story I have made you and a girl named Sage get handcuffed together. Half-way through, you turn into Light and Sage into L. I'm telling you this because I want to know your opinion. (P.S L is a guy)_

I also have another question. I heard that Homunculi can't have siblings, but what if two of them were created at the same time, place and creator. Let's just say I try to bring a friend back and decide to make a new sister at the same time, would they be siblings?

Also would I be dead if I tried that?

White Wing Alchemist

**Ed: That's just weird. And two guys? That's gross as well…**

**Lust: No, they would not be siblings. It would just be extremely coincidental and probably close to impossible. Anyway, that's really not something you should try.**

_Al... oh, I almost forgot, my friend really liked you. He didn't know much about FMA, but he found your metal body fascinating. -.-__Montevideo__..._

And Ed I'm pretty sure you got drunk in like, the first volume in that mining thing... or maybe you were very content with the amount of food you just ate...? I dunno, you just looked very drunk in that picture. And I dunno, maybe...? D: You don't always get drunk on your will, don'tcha know...

Where would you peeps go on vacation, if you could? I'd like to go to

So yah, bye bye. xD  
September Rhyme ('cuz I'm totally awesome, yah.)

**Al: Oh…well…um, thanks! …I think…**

**Ed: I NEVER GOT DRUNK! NEVER NEVER NEVER! I was probably just content with the food there; it was really good…**

**Winry: Rush Valley!**

**Ed: …We already took you there. How about somewhere new?**

**Winry: No way, that's the best place ever! Besides, we weren't there nearly long enough!**

**Al: I think Central is always pretty interesting, but we're never there just for fun…**

**Ed: You should read the…what is it, the fourth novel? There's some stuff close to vacations in that one…**

_Yami Ookami- "Its time for some bike training, Ed!!" -drags him by the collar w/ him struggling-  
Me- (sweat drops) "Okay...oh! I forgot to say this the last time..."__Code Geass__ use his Geass on you to quit!"__Code Geass__? Its awesome!" :D "oh, and keep up the good work!"_

Havoc- "Get that cigarette out of your mouth or I'll have Lelouch from

Authoress- "Have you watched

Yami Ookami- "And peddle!!" -shoots rifle at Ed peddling/riding a pink tricycle-

Ja ne!  
Yami Ookami & Ookami Bakura

**Ed: I don't WANT to!!**

**Havoc: …I don't even know who or what the hell that is!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: OMG YES, CODE GEASS IS SMEXY ;D But adult swim changed the times! You should all e-mail them telling them to put it back at midnight or whatever, along with Moribito, because right now they're on at 5am!!**

_Roy, I have one thing to say to you: Denial is a river in __Egypt__. -shot'd- Sorry. Just had to say it. xD__father figure__), but he is right from before. You're cute, and he's 'hot' and therefore beats you. Though I like Scar better than him too. xD_

Ed: Royboy is totally denying his fatherly feelings towards you (and you know you feel like he's a father to you--just not a Hohenheim...ly

Hughes: I don't really think you're cute or hot. -hugs anyway- I just think you're so sweet, and a refreshing change from the somber-ness of the other characters (yes, I'm looking at you Scar)

Scar: Really? I've been prowling FMA fan boards and roleplaying boards for over a year now (and watching FMA for the last five years) and to date, I've found one other fangirl of him--another writer on here. She writes such lovely stories with you as the main character. I'm stalking those stories now.

...My questions aren't nearly as deep or insightful as Sonar's, and that's disappointing, because you're my favorite character (oh, and NO I WON'T LET GO. -keeps hugging- ) but I honestly haven't really had much experience with any real tragedy in my life.

But I identify with you feeling like an outsider in Amestris because of being an Ishbalan (even before the whole 'killing state alchemists' thing). I get lonely a lot too--only child, socially inept, etc... Most of my friends are on the internet. Though, one of them is an ardent Kimbley fangirl…it's a shock we get along. XD

_But I don't think "things change" is really a sufficient answer. What made you think that the stone would bring peace when its very creation entails chaos?_

Going back to my Elrics' question and adding a bit more to it, if you put aside the fact that Ed and Mustang are State Alchemists, what do you think of them as people?

Last note: Anyone who says you're evil is a retard. End of story. A bit misguided, but I knew you were a good person from the very beginning.

Batty

**Roy: ………**

**Ed: Or you could be wrong, you never know. Oh, but yeah, don't trust the "hot" ones, because they'll only end up hurting you. Look at Roy, he's had like 50 girlfriends.**

**Roy: Have not!**

**Hughes: Aw, why thank you! But that's a good think, considering I'm happily married. With an adorable daughter, by the way.**

**Scar: Um…Really…? It's good to know that you stalk me. In a way. But it's actually a very good thing if you've had minimal tragedy in your life.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: **(high-fives) **Most of my friends are online, too :D My dad actually says I have no friends, which is actually extremely untrue, but he's an asshole so I won't get into that :D**

**Scar: Anyway. I really don't know. It was sort of my last hope at that time. I didn't have much else to go on. Sorry. I can't say anything about Mustang, since I never exactly knew him, but Edward is so much of an actual person that he's almost not a State Alchemist, in my eyes. Almost.**

_Authoress lives in..-gasp-...NJ?! Authoress knows...-gasp-...cons in the tri-state area?! INFO PLEASE? (NY teen speaking)__InuYasha__? –cackles evilly over crackfic in the works-_

So, anyway...where did the Risembool kiddies go to school? And what exactly is everyone's opinion on small squirrelly visitors from

_HughesHanajimaHilariaHypocrite_

**BakaKonekoRKL: NO WAY. HECK YEAH I DO. Send me an IM on either AIM or YIM sometime. Or e-mail me. NOW. XD (info is in profile) Let's see, the New York Anime Festival (NYAF) just passed (or is passing; it's like the last week of Sept.). COME TO MANGANEXT. NOW. It's from Halloween until Nov. 2; go to manganext (dot) org for details. If you pre-register soon, it's really cheap! But you can also register when you get there. Let me know if you come, and it'll be easy to find me, because I'm in the guide! XD No, really, I am lol. It's in Sommerset county, NJ, but you can find kind of directions on the site. Also, AnimeNEXT next year is in the same location as MangaNEXT this year, but from June 12-14. I'd BETTER see you at one of them! XD**

**Ed: We all went to Risembool elementary, a one-room school, but obviously, school doesn't go very long in a rural town like ours, so around the age of 10 we didn't go any more. Guess school's started...we got a few questions on it, as you can see.**

**Al: Squirrels are cute!!**

_Scar  
It must of been obvious that I was a __Death Note__ fan wasn't it? Must have been a mind reader.  
Thanks for the advice. I'm considering you one of my friends. You just seem so understanding which I don't think people see.  
Do you often think things through at times?  
I know you are right about not being able to overcome fears or death easily. Of course, I would take you seriously because you are one of those people I would never underestimate.  
Weirdest story or sound you ever heard?  
How hard was it not to sleep when you vowed you would stop sleeping?  
With me, even with friends, that lonely feeling does not go away. Sometimes I find myself escaping to the world of dreams but my life never felt easy and considering that I never had a good life, I have to express myself through songs and poems. Well, I also write stories too. I'm working on one called "Visionary Alchemist".  
Weirdest rumor you ever heard about yourself?  
I bet you don't care for rumors. Same here._

Mae Hughes  
Have you ever been considered crazy?  
Funniest moment?  
It's funny when you constantly phone Roy to get a wife.

Dorochet  
Has Greed ever yelled at you?

Fuery  
I do believe in ghosts myself. Recently, my mom found some kitties but they are such trouble-makers. We plan to give them away in hopes of being adopted. They are a bit wild but their  
mother was nowhere to be found.

_Have you ever been bullied? same question to Scar, Falman, Riza & Al_

Kimblee  
How long have you been blowing up stuff?  
Why did you even join the military?  
By the way, like your hair-style.

Al  
You're just a sweet boy really. Strangest name you ever been called while in the armor?

_Sonar_

**Scar: W-Well thank you. Yes, I often try to think things through, but if I am extremely angry, that may not always happen. The strangest story or sound I've ever heard…? I suppose the story of Odysseus; The Odyssey. It was very difficult, but I had a strong reserve. It's a good idea to write poems or songs when you're lonely or sad, because it's a vessel to get your emotions out. You could also try listening to music that makes you happy to cheer you up, even if it's for an hour or more. I never paid attention to any rumors, so I don't really know.**

**Hughes: I think Roy's called me crazy here and there, but all in jokingness. My funniest moment? Hmm…Well, everyone has their own opinion, right? So if it made you laugh, then what you said right there!**

**Dorochet: Yeah, here and there. But we still got along well.**

**Fuery: Awww! Well, kittens are always like that when they're young; that's why you need to train them! But make sure they get good homes. Kids are always picked on, so yes, when I was younger I was bullied a lot, especially because I wore glasses.**

**Scar: Sometimes.**

**Falman: I just ignored them.**

**Riza: I wasn't a "popular" girl, so yes, I was a little. But they never ended up anywhere, so it doesn't matter now.**

**Al: Not too much.**

**Kimblee: Heh, since I was a kid. I joined so that I could blow stuff up; it was a perfect excuse.**

**Al: Aw, thanks! Well, I thought it was strange when someone thought I was Ed's dad.**

_Hiya! I have two really urgent questions to Edward:  
What would you prefer, to swim in a pool of milk for 5 hours or kiss Roy?  
And in volume 5 of FMA, you said you're not a sexist. You punched poor Paninya two times when she stole your watch. How come you never punch Winry in the face when she throws wrenches at you? __Coward__!_

DemyxAxe

**Ed: Alright, first of all, I just don't like **_**drinking**_** milk, so I'd DEFINITELY rather swim in it than kiss that bastard. Secondly, that doesn't have to do with being sexist. If you were accusing me of being sexist when I said I wasn't, you'd have to come up with a time when I punched a girl but not a guy in the same situation. But to answer your question, Paninya made me mad by stealing my watch, so that's why I hit her. When Winry throws wrenches at me, it's because **_**I've**_** made **_**her**_** mad. You see what I'm saying here?**

_Lei: Sah-WEET! Another fast update!  
Sein: Excellent! I hope it stays like this.  
Lei: Word. Now let's see...ooh, pie! (devours) Thanks, Mrs. H!  
Sein: Sorry you missed the picnic, Authoress. It sounds like it would have been fun. But at least you did other fun things. This __Halloween__ I plan to dress up as __Saki Hanajima__, so it won't be a total loss.  
Lei: Yo, I live in Georgia.  
Sein: So do I. Sometimes we have little anime parties and invite our otaku friends and we all watch anime.  
Lei: But a whole con would be the sniz!  
Sein: I think our first efforts will be a FanFiction account, if we ever stop being so lazy...  
Lein: Aw, don't be like that, Greed! I know you've got feelings somewhere in that muscled chest! (punches chest)  
Sein: Was that a good idea? He's the Ultimate Shield...  
Lei: OW! HAND IS BRUISED!  
Sein: (shakes head)  
Lei: No more...dappin'... (cradles hand to chest and sits down)  
Sein: You said this fic will be 100 chapters, right, Authoress? We'll probably have changed our names by then.  
Lei: To something punnier!  
Sein: Right. Yay! Pictures of Elysia! Can I have some?  
Lei: Roy the Kitten. Roy the Kitten. Roy the Kitten. Can I start calling you Colonel Kitty-Pants?  
Sein: You know, you didn't have to run around hitting people. That's rude.  
Lei: Psh, they're men, they can take it! See? (slaps Ed)  
Sein: That isn't the point, though! Quit that!  
Lei: ...  
Sein: (sighs) I'm going to go hug Elysia. (hugs Elysia)  
Lei: What?  
Sein: Now I'll cheerfully ignore Lei and ask my questions. Dante, where did you get those dresses you and Rose had on in the last episodes? Were they expensive?  
Lei: Yo, Envy, why is Sein ignoring me? Am I annoying or something?  
Sein: Jean Havoc, I wish you would stop that smoking. I think you're a very __handsome guy__ and I'd be fine with dating you, but I despise smoking. Also, when did you become so your luck with women?  
Lei: Yo, Scar, your outfit is off the chain. But your jacket's always tearin'.  
Sein: I think we've talked long enough.  
Lei: Yo? Yeah, you're right, so let's make like a banana and--  
Sein: (runs away from bad pun)  
Lei: Aw, come on! It ain't that bad!_

--Lei. Z and B. Ond Sein

**BakaKonekoRKL: Well, I have school now, but since I've got the fanart contest going down now, I'll try to keep up-to-date XD But anyway, yes, that's true. Hey! I was gonna be Hanajima for the picnic! XD But it still would've been a lot with spraying and washing my hair, because I needed my hair black for Diva, but I had Misa planned for inbetween them…so yeah. I know there's definitely a convention in Georgia; go to Google and search for "Georgia anime convention" and see what you get. But hey, you can anonymously review on FFN, but you can't see my LJ unless you get one. Just think about that… ;D**

**Greed: Hey!** **Well, it probably wouldn't have hurt even without the shield…you trying to start something?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Uhh…Just let me know…Knowing me, I'll probably forget lol. Well, if I had as much time as I did originally, I'd be able to finish this before Halloween…Stupid AP classes…**

**Hughes: Oh, of course! Here; I've made copies of them so you can share the joy with the entire world!**

**Roy: No, you absolutely may not! But your friend's right; that was rude.**

**Ed: Hey! I swear, next time I'll hit you back!**

**Elysia: :D **(hugs back)

**Dante: I've had them for centuries. Of course, I take very good care of them, though I occasionally need someone to restore them for me. They were the style of my original time period, and I didn't exactly lack money, so price wasn't much of an object.**

**Envy: Yeah, just a bit.**

**Havoc: You're probably the 100****th**** reviewer who's bothered me about that. But I do thank you for your second comment. As for the third…well, the asterisks are sort of screwing it up, so if it's a curse word, you can just type that out; this is a T rated fic, after all.**

**Scar: …What?**

_Hey! :D_

Envy:  
If told you I was a fan, but not a clingy fangirl, could I get a hug? I just thought I'd throw it out there.  
And just because I'm curious, what do you look for in a person you would get along with as a friend? A partner?

Ed:  
Why do you have such a problem with your height? I'd rather be short, honestly. People underestimate smaller people.

Al:  
holds out cat Here you can pet my cat, Oero. Though be careful, he doesn't like it if you go too fast.  
And now for a question. What's your favorite breed of cat?

Roy:  
A lot of people hate you, at least where I live, but I'm not one of them. I'd just like to say I'm not one of them.  
How do you feel about dating one person when you're in love with someone else? Just a theoretical question.

Scar:  
I was angry when you died. Very angry.  
I have a State Alchemist pocket watch, does that make me your enemy? I don't know any Alchemy though...

Wrath:  
Do you like ice cream? If so, what kind?

Havoc:  
How young are you willing to date? –curious- And what do you prefer in a girl?

To the wonderful author:  
Keep up the good work! Showers with gifts

Alrighty then! Till next time,

Death By Silence / Beth

**Envy: It doesn't matter who you are, I don't do hugs. What do I…? I don't know, someone who wouldn't get on my nerves and who would follow my orders, I guess.**

**Ed: It's BECAUSE people underestimate and make fun of my height!**

**Al: Awww! **(pets Oreo) **Um, well I really love all breeds of cats! But if I HAD to choose, then I guess calico.**

**Roy: Why thank you, and you have my permission to set them on fire. Fitting, no?**

**Riza: …Don't tell people that…**

**Roy: Anyway, I feel that-**

**Riza: Don't answer that, sir, you'll give her bad ideas. If you don't really love a person, you shouldn't date them, because in the long run, you'll **_**both **_**get hurt.**

**Scar: No, but you shouldn't idolize them.**

**Wrath: Mmmm, yeah! All kinds, but mostly chocolate!**

**Havoc: As young as the law allows. Er…I'm not some creepy pedophile, I mean, I'm only in my early 20's myself, so if someone who was 18 went out with me, it wouldn't be much of a time difference…Well, I like girls who are cute, funny and have a nice personality. But I believe that was in one episode, no?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: HUZZAH, GIFTS :D Thank you :D**

_Hi!__human body__ back seriously he is your __LITTLE brother__._

Ed; Why won't you let Al get a cat?  
-Why don't you wear a helmet for when Winry hits you with a wrench?  
-How are you still shorter than Al even if he got his

Al; Why can't you just get yourself a cat?  
-Why do you always call Ed "brother" instead of Ed?

Winry; Is it fun to hit Ed with a wrench?  
-Do you love Ed? :3

Envy; What's with the mini-skirt?  
How did you change faces in the episode when you killed Ed?

Buh bye!  
Mikiki&Mimiki

**Ed: Because it'd be too hard to care for with us traveling around all the time! Winry can be spontaneous with her wrench throwing, so I wouldn't know when exactly to put said helmet on…and…Oh, I'm not answering that!**

**Al: Brother would never let me keep it! Oh and well…in Japanese, it's more common to call siblings "brother" or "sister".**

**Winry: Well, not fun exactly…ok, maybe a little bit. For your second question, I plead the fifth!**

**Envy: IT'S NOT A GODDAMN MINI SKIRT!! Oh, and I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I can change my appearance. In that case, I just didn't change the rest of my body.**

_Shou Tucker:  
Do you think you did regret the fact that you used your daughter and being unable to get her soul back?_

_Killen Mortuda_

Tucker: Of course; the whole reason why I tried to re-create her was because I regretted what I'd done and missed her.

_Think I've been here before and forgot but whatevs..._

Dante, what exactly did you DO to Rose at the end of the series to make her all spacey? And why'd you keep touching her like you loved her so?

Ed, what made you pick the colors black and red to wear all the time? Why not gold to bring out your lovely eyes? Or something festive like green!

Al, can you baby-sit my cat while I go out of town?

Envy, how old were you when you died as a human? Some people said you were a baby and some said you were like 18. Who's right? And did you pick your face on purpose or just stumble across it and decide you liked it? Is your long hair fun?

Scar, my friends think I'm crazy but I think you're really cool! Maybe because you pull off wearing sunglasses so well, and you've got such a cool eye color.

_lana-rinreed_

**Dante: Do you really want to know? Well, I liked her body…it was going to be mine, after all.**

**Ed: Because I LIKE red and black. Those other colors just don't appeal to me.**

**Al: Sure! :D**

**Envy: I was a baby. Which face do you mean, the one I use all the time or what? My hair is…alright?**

**Scar: Thanks.**

_I've been wondering. To the Almighty Elric Brothers :  
Why the hell don't y'all havta go to school no more? In my one-horse town school, A.K.A. hell, attendance is mandatory until you turn 18 or get a __high school diploma__. So why ain't y'all in school? ARE YOU DELINQUENTS?  
If you could play any instrument, what would it be?  
I have one more question: To the body-snatching hag (Dante), are you seriously so naive to believe that you "loved" ANYONE? I mean, you're real old, so you should know by now that LOVE DOES NOT EXIST. It only took me ten years to find out, and it takes you four hundred? Okay then...  
Okay, I do believe I am done.  
Must go now. DON'T DO DRUGS.  
ENVY-MUSTANG-AND-SCAR-MUST-DIE_

**Ed: You may have learned this in history class, but years ago, kids didn't have to go to school for so long, especially if they lived in a rural area and had to work on a farm. That was pretty much the case here. But look at the bright side: at least you'll be smart, and be able to become successful some day! And I'd play guitar. Not an acoustic one, either.**

**Al: Hmm, maybe the piano.**

**Dante: Love actually does exist. Maybe you don't always find the right person, but there's always someone out there. There are many people who've remained together happily throughout their entire lives. So don't even talk to me about that.**

**Alrighty, that's all for now! Don't forget about the fanart contest! Send in ANYTHING remotely referring to it to my e-mail NOT IN A REVIEW. But review with sum moar questions, of course ;D**


	73. Chapter 73

**Ok, ok, sorry. I know this took a while, but October is a super busy month for me. Due to the fact that I have TaeKwonDo FOUR TIMES A WEEK THANK YOU VERY MUCH, plus school (2 AP classes, ok, thanks), and in the free time I've been having to work on things for Artist's Alley for MangaNEXT. I'm a commoner, aiight? I NEED the money. Especially since testing for jr. black belts are 200…EACH. And there's 4 of them D:**

**YOU'D BETTER BE WORKING ON YOUR ART FOR THE FANART CONTEST. OR ELSE.**

**And I changed my mind. You can ask me questions about the contest in reviews. Expect a PM in response if you do, though. THE ENTRY DATE HAS BEEN CHANGED. IT WILL NOW BE DUE A WEEK AFTER HALLOWEEN, ON NOVEMBER 7TH, 2008. YOU HAVE ANOTHER WEEK, SO THEY'D BETTER BE AMAZING AND I'D BETTER GET A _TON OF ENTRIES_.**

_Roy: -jumps up and down and points- He didn't answer! He didn't answer! That means I'm right  
Yay more questions! Umum..  
1. How did you and Hughes first become friends?  
2. Why did you stay in the military after Ishbal? Weren't you worried you might have to do something like that again?_

Ed: Oh yeah, I hear you on that. I actually would never date someone like Roy probably. He loves Riza too much anyway. But the hot ones are just more fun to look at. XD  
If you found a way to get back Al's body but it turned out that way would kill you, would you do it?

Hughes: 1. How come you never got into Alchemy?  
2. If you had another child with Gracia, would you prefer it to be a girl or a boy?  
3. Do you think Roy likes Riza? -smirks-

Riza: 1. Do you ever worry that your position in the military might cause you to do things that you don't believe in again, like with Ishbal?  
2. Do you worry about Roy a lot?

Scar: How do your injuries ever heal if you're constantly running around and fighting? Is that just an FMA plot hole or something? -tacklehugs again-

_Battypichugirl2_

**Roy: No, it just means you're an idiot. Anyway, to answer your questions…we both joined the military around the same time, had lunch together a few times…I don't know, I guess how any person becomes friends with another, we just got to know each other. Secondly, I stayed in the military because I wanted to get to a point where I would be able to stop things like that from happening again.**

**Ed: Um…Alright…I needed to know that…Yeah, of course I would do it! I'd do anything to get his body back! And anyway…haven't you seen the end of the anime?**

**Al: B-Brother! But I-I don't want you to die…!**

**Ed: I'm not _going _to die it's just…hypothetical!**

**Hughes: Eh, it's just a total freak-show! Sorry, but I'd like to be able to stay _somewhat_ normal. Oh, I don't care what gender; no matter which, he or she would be just so adorable! Oh, of course Roy likes Riza; it's just _too _obvious!**

**Riza: You sure do like bringing up Ishbal. I do worry, but I need to be here to support the Colonel. And yes, I do worry about him…Who wouldn't?**

**Scar: I just take the time to heal myself; I don't push myself too hard if I'm injured. Speaking of which…please get off of me.**

_Me- "lookie what I brought in!" -drags in __**Lelouch**__ from __**Code Geass**__- "This man here has been smoking so would you please?"__**Havoc**__)- "Smoking is bad for you. (uses Geass) I, Lelouch vi Britannia, command you to stop smoking."_

Lelouch (to

Me- "that's all for now, bye bye!"  
Yami Ookami & Ookami Bakura

**Havoc: Sorry, dude, wrong anime, so nope!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: W-Wait! Lelouch--! (Oh, and could we get back to like legit questions please? I only didn't cut this because Lulu was in it…Sorry…)**

_Scar  
What's wrong with idolizing someone?_

_Malia Kibuta_

**Scar: Nothing's exactly _wrong_ with it, per say, but you have to realize, if that person doesn't live up to your standards, you'll be angry at them, just for being themselves. That, or if they decide to do something stupid, like drugs, you might idolize them to the point where you do that, too.**

_Scar  
Is there anything in your childhood that you really enjoyed?  
Everyone doesn't think when they are mad at times. Everyone has those moments.  
I just wish that I could quit feeling like I should not exist at times. I mean I enjoy living but there is times that I just want to fade away. Music helps me at times but I'm a creative person.  
Ever been so scared of something in your life that you lose all hopes of becoming confident?  
Found you one of the songs I wrote. I think it represents me at times. Tell me what you think._

Fuery  
I'm sure those cats will find a home.  
I've been bullied a lot too but it was because I was different and did struggle with things like speech. I was so misunderstood back then.  
Do people spell your name wrong at times? I had that happen to me so many times.

Al  
Someone thought that you were Ed's dad? I'm sure Ed didn't take that well.

Riza  
How hard was it to earn respect?

Shou Tucker  
How hard was it to adjust to being a chimera?  
I think you looked better as a human.

Ed & Al  
How do you deal with depression?  
Any favorite brother moments?

_Sonar_

**Scar: My favorite childhood memories were, for the most part, spending time with my brother. He was the most important person to me, and we really did have fun together as children. If you are feeling like that, then you should let out your feelings through whichever creative way you feel, be it art, or music (like you mentioned), poetry, or even just writing a diary. Just write what you feel. Like your song. Unfortunately we had to cut it out because it took up a lot of space, but something like that is a good way of expressing yourself. If you can get it down on paper, it's no longer inside of you, tormenting you.**

**Fuery: I sure hope so! Well, the thing with kids is that once they label you as an outcast, that's your role unless something amazing happens and you get to break out. Ah…I suppose I'm being a pessimist, though. Oh, you have no idea how many people spell my name wrong! The Authoress does a LOT of editing, and a lot of it goes towards my name…**

**Al: Haha…nope, he didn't!**

**Riza: Because I'm young and because I'm a woman, it was difficult concerning certain people. But as a whole, many people were accepting.**

**Tucker: Of course, it's very difficult, because you are no longer only human; there is a different component in your body, conflicting with it's nature.**

**Ed & Al: We spend time with each other, and/or other people we care a lot about; that really cheers us up! A lot of our childhood consists of happy memories, a lot of which were captured in the anime.**

_So, Ed, if you were so content with that food that you LOOKED drunk, what did they feed you? O.o__**apple pie**__? Please? I always wanted to try one o' those. xD_

And Winry, other than Rush Valley, where would be some nice relaxing place you'd like to go?

And peeps, I asked ALL of you the vacation question, how come only Winry answered?! Come on, people, be responsive! Please? Where would YOU like to go Roy?! -points at Roy-

And Envy, if you won't make me a blanket, then will you bake me an

So, g'bye! Until next time, eh?  
September Rhyme

**Ed: Just…a lot of good food! I think there was a lot of stew and bread…**

**Winry: …Rush Valley?**

**Roy: Home. I'm in the military; I've seen a lot of places. If I wanted a vacation, I'd probably just relax at home.**

**Riza: Well, Ed and Al talk about Risembool a lot…I know some other officers have gone there, so I think I would like to check it out myself sometime…**

**Envy: Why? I can't cook, and I'd just poison it anyway.**

_Okay. Shi is out of the hospital. She's wearing a cast and got a bunch of people to sign it. Mom brought in the parents of HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED to the principal's office. The parents don't believe that THE JERK did it on purpose. Mom's going back tomorrow for another little session with the principal and the parents, and she even looked up a family lawyer. This could get messy...  
Now that you're updated, let's respond!!__**Halloween**__. Know who I'm gonna be? __**Rose**__ Thomas. (points at Rose, waves and smiles) If I can find a good wig, I'll also make me a cosplay of Edward from __**Cowboy Bebop**__. While I'm planning for future cosplays, you know any anime characters that are short dark girls, with outfits in the realm of possibility for me?_

OMG YAY IT'S ZILO TIME

To Greed: ...Maybe.

To Rhi the Authoress: Yay! Sorry. Thanks so much for the best wishing. I shall live and find me another con. That or just take some cosplay pictures and stick them in my DA and/or LJ. And/or cosplay for

OMG SECOND PARAGRAPH YAY. I should have noticed the 'BK' thing, but it totally slipped my mind! Oops! I have never seen that movie, but wasn't there a scene where the dude barfed or something? Eww. But, yay! I'll call you Rhi! Yay fun nickname!

To Scar: Yay! Thank you Scar. I've cooled down, though, so you don't have to kill him. But I appreciate it! You can just sign Shi's cast and we're all good.

To Envy: Okay, but do it in the dark of night, preferably wearing a ski mask over your head, so they don't trace it back to me. I'd tell you not to kill him, but I have a feeling you'd ignore me and do it anyhow...

To Dante: Really? It didn't? That's weird. (waves frendlily again)

To Al: Thanks! We appreciate it.

To Ed: Well, Ed, I don't know why they don't. If it bugs you, just write a letter to Honda and Toyota and all them car-makers. (hands over pen and piece of paper)

To Winry: Thank you. I'll try it!

OMG NOO SHI'S BACK.

Ed: I am sorry I kicked you. I just like kicking stuff. Don't hold it against me.

Al: Thanks for visiting me. You lit up my life.

Everybody: Will you all sign my cast please? Then I'll stop being annoying because I'll be overflowing with fangirly joy.

Okay, so that's all for now. I'm glad you updated kind of fast again! I won't bug you about updating fast because of le French and all le other junk now that school's back. Just update as soon as you can, and I'll be rambling on LJ and attempting to upload pictures while I'm waiting! Bye!

--Zilo Sugarpill (and a slightly damaged Shi)

**BakaKonekoRKL: YES. GOOD LUCK WITH THE CONTEST :D Oh yeah, you would be good as Rose…Hm. Well, you could always be that one military officer who worked in the library with Scheizka…There are a few people in Code Geass, if I remember correctly, but you'd have to go look them up...you could be random fangirl #552 from OHSHC and just get a girl's uniform? XD …You could be Tousen from Bleach (the blind guy)…Oh…you said girls? XD I can't think of any girls…you may have to crossdress XD Omg yeah, that movie was gross, don't EVER watch it D:**

**Scar: A-Alright then. We'll go with that then.**

**Envy: Ski mask? Have you forgotten that I can change my form or what?**

**Al: No problem!**

**Ed: Who is "Honda" and "Toyota"!? I'll give them a piece of my mind…! And to Shi…Well. It's ok, but you should probably try to break that habit…**

**Al: I'm glad!**

**Everyone: Oh, sure! (signs cast) We all hope you feel better soon!! (showers with roses)**

_Okay, let's change my question a little bit;  
Edward, would you like to DRINK milk for five hours or kiss Roy?  
Al, aren't dogs in fact cuter than cats? Come on!_

_DemyxAxel_

**Ed: Well, since I would DIE if I drank milk for 5 straight hours, I'm forced to say I'd rather kiss Roy. Unfortunately. But ONLY because I would die otherwise!**

**Al: Um, no, not really :3**

_To anyone who feels like answering : What is your favorite book? Me, I like __**Michael Crichton stuff**__. SO MUCH SCIENCE...-drool-  
Any of y'all ever been stalked? Like, had some crazy person following you around acting like they "loved" you?_

_ENVY-MUSTANG-AND-SCAR-MUST-DIE_

**Ed: I liked all of our old Alchemy textbooks…**

**Winry: I liked my parents' medical ones.**

**Al: S-Stalked? Er…no, don't think so…**

_THE CONS ARE- -looks around; people are staring at the crazy shouting girl- okay, not right now.__**BLANKET**__ APPLIQUED WITH BUNNIES AND NEKOS AND KONEKOS! SO THERE! PWNED!__**Protestant Reformation**__ in the 1500s (for school, ew) and it hit me that I know about a certain cult in Lior, and I know about a certain Alchemist's __**atheism**__, but I do not know about the religious views of Greater Amestris (and beyond). Care to elaborate?_

Um...anyway...

So, Envy. You were a baby when you died and turned into a Homunculus. Yet somehow, 400 years later, you have a perfect adult face to whip out and stun Ed into submission with. Do you practice making it older in your spare time?  
TRY AND TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT SENDING ME A FLUFFY

...-giggle-

And now for something completely different.  
I was reading about the

Oh, and, Authoress-Haruhi-Saya-Rhi-san-chan-person-thingy...  
Ack! This can't be happening! I forgot what I wanted to say! Oh well. Hilaria signing off. XD

**BakaKonekoRKL: COME TO MANGANEXT D: At the very least AnimeNEXT. E-MAIL YES PLEASE?**

**Envy: I don't quite practice in my spare time…I don't need to practice turning into any _other _form, after all…WHAT ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT, WOMAN!?**

**Ed: A lot of people either don't have a religion or just aren't very religious. But the religions that do surface often have to do with nature, just like the Sun god you're referencing. There's some for the Sun, Earth, Moon, Ocean…all depending on where you live.**

_Ed: Do you like chocolate?  
-Maybe you should steal Winry's wrench, and all tools she has including __**power tools**__.  
-OMG you got taller in the movie._

_  
Al: You are so cute!  
-I have a kitten we can share her; her name is Cici._

_-Have you ever lost your temper?_

Envy: Crochet me a blanket or I will kill you -gets out chainsaw-

_You look like a __**palm tree**__ that wears womens' clothing_

Lust: Are you a prostitute?

Hughes: Can I have a picture of Elysia? She is cute.

Mimiki

**BakaKonekoRKL: Just so you know, I edited your two "letters" together, to save room.**

**Ed: Everything in moderation…Um, yeah, you don't take anything of Winry's…ever. Enough said. ARE YOU SAYING I WAS SHORT BEFORE THEN OR SOMETHING!?**

**Al: Aww, thanks! Aw, that's so sweet of you, thanks! (pets Cici) Um, I have lost my temper before, but it takes a lot to get me REALLY mad.**

**Envy: You think you could kill me? OH, BUT IT IS I WHO SHALL KILL YOU FOR SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT!**

**Lust: …No.**

**Hughes: Of course; I have copies? Oh, would you like to hear even more about her? Here, I'll write you all about her on the back of the picture….**

_Hi guys! It's Death-By-Silence again!_

I guess I'll get to the annoying questions now...;

Envy: I guess I'll have to deal with that, but you know what's weird? I know someone who you might get along with...They're SUPER submissive and would do just about anything you told them to. I thought that was weird anyway...Oh, I forgot to mention last time...I really like your hair. You're really lucky you can look however you want.

Ed: When I said they underestimate smaller people, I meant it can be used as an advantage! If they don't realize just how strong you are...then you can beat them easily! Short people rule!

Al: Oh, if you want you can have my dad's cat...he doesn't like me much, so I'd be glad to be rid of him. –grumbles- I swear he's not normal, in fact I think he's a demon sent from the farthest reaches of h-gets hit in the head with a book of heck. -grumbles some more-

Roy: I would, but a few of them are my closest friends...and that wouldn't be a very good thing to do to them, now would it?

Good news! I convinced one (after over a year of insistence) that you're cool!

Riza: So, dumping my boyfriend was a good idea then? I was just asking before, because I wasn't sure but I didn't want to date him if I didn't love him. I'm really hoping I did the right thing...

Scar: I don't, they're a little cruel for my tastes. So what's it like…killing people, I mean? Does it ever bother you?

Wrath: Wow, I never realized we'd have something in common! Ice-cream is my favorite food and I love chocolate!

_Death By Silence_

**Envy: Oh really…Hm, maybe I'll have to make myself known to them…HA, THANK YOU, AT LEAST SOMEONE LIKES MY HAIR. Yeah, that was a reference for you, Mimiki, you little…**

**Ed: True, but in that sense, aren't you also calling me short? Well, I guess it doesn't matter.**

**Al: I-I-I don't want a demonic kitty, sorry!**

**Roy: Hm. Well, I suppose you're right. It took you a YEAR to convince them that I'm cool? How the hell…?**

**Riza: If you're questioning your feelings for him, there's a good chance it wouldn't have worked out. If you really felt like things could have been salvaged for a longer time, you could have said that you needed a break or something. But yes, you'll have some regrets about it for a little while, but if you weren't sure of your feelings, then it's probably for the best.**

**Scar: Of course it bothers me…I don't feel good about it, you know?**

**Wrath: We should EAT some together!**

_**Dris**__: So this means we can be undercover, right?  
__**Sora**__: Yes, but that wouldn't be fair to the authoress if we didn't tell her who we were.  
Dris: You're right! LET'S NOT RUIN HER LIFE!  
Sora: ...I don't think it would ruin her whole LIFE, but--  
Dris: HI THERE! You probably wonder who we are!  
Sora: (sighs) It's us, Lei and Sein. We finally got ourselves an account!  
Dris: So now we're Teh Dris and Sora Thums! Two cookies if you guess what the pun is this time!  
Sora: There'a a whole list in our profile.  
Dris: But anyway! Look, my hand is healed! (displays hand) No, I'm not tryin' to start a thing, Greed, honest!  
Sora: Yeah, right. But yes, we to a __**Halloween party**__ and had a blast...I played Hanajima and wore all black and everyone thought I was a goth...  
Dris: I went as a paparazzi person. It was fun!  
Sora: Stupid AP classes? What kind of classes do you have, Authoress?  
Dris: Do they all suck?  
Sora: Some of them might be fun. Yay! Pictures of Elysia!  
Dris: DO NOT WANT!  
Sora: I wasn't going to give you any in any case. Thank you, Mr. Hughes! (puts pictures in "a safe place")  
Dris: No Colonel Kitty Pants? Aww. How about That One Guy Who Looks Asian? That's what all my non-otaku buds call you!  
Sora: ...  
Dris: ...Should I apologize?  
Sora: YES!  
Dris: ...Oh...Sorry, Ed.  
Sora: So, Dante, were you ever really planning to share the Philosopher's Stone with the __**Homunculi**__ or was it lying and manipulation?  
Dris: I vote B!  
Sora: ...  
Dris: I'm guessing! Oh, yeah. To the military peeps (Roy, Riza, Hughes) what do you do for fun?  
Sora: Same question to Ed and Al. I never see you guys having fun, just working and studying all the time.  
Dris: Which is not fun!  
Sora: Oh, no, it wasn't a curse word! Dris, what did I say to Havoc?  
Dris: You screwed somethin' up with your British syntax.  
Sora: ...  
Dris: ...  
Sora: Shut up.  
Dris: I'm only saying! You asked!!  
Sora: No, I was just wondering why you were...er...  
Dris: Why your female luck sucks!  
Sora: ...Yes, since I can't think of a better way to arrange it...  
Dris: Hey, if you date Sora, you'd better foot the bill!  
Sora: We haven't even gotten to that point!  
Dris: You asked the question!  
Sora: Yes I did. And now I'm out of questions.  
Dris: Me too! Oh, wait! (hugs Al) Okay, now I'm done!  
Sora: Are you sure?  
Dris: Nope. (hands Scar a present)  
Sora: What's in the box?  
Dris: A translation of my comment to him!  
Sora: ...  
Dris: (whispers) Ellipsis...  
Sora: Okay, then let's go. (hugs Elysia and Gracia goodbye)  
Dris: LIVEJOURNAL IS NEXT!!_

--Teh Dris n Sora Thums

**BakaKonekoRKL: OMG WOW YAY!! XD This is exciting, you have no idea lol…As for the puns…Well, even though "Sora" is the name of some guy in some video game, I'm going with "Sora Thums" as "Sore Thumbs"? I can't figure out The Dris, though, sorry lol. Which one of you is which again? XD (like from your old…stuff). Haha, I've only got one Halloween party that I can go to (the others just fall on bad times)…oh, and MangaNEXT which is on Halloween, so that counts, ne? XD Glad to hear you had fun! I take AP French and AP English…They're ok, but I'm like a really shy person and I don't like speaking out much, so they're not all that fun for ME…**

**Hughes: W-W-What do you mean, you don't want pictures!? How could you not!?**

**Roy: Um…no? How about my name?**

**Ed: …It's ok.**

**Dante: You should listen to your friend; she's right.**

**Roy: Go out with women. See movies, go out to dinner, you know…**

**Riza: I read.**

**Hughes: Of course I play with my adorable daughter! It's just hours of amusement!**

**Ed: That's because there's no time for fun! Well, there is, but we don't go looking for fun usually; we're too busy trying to get our bodies back!**

**Havoc: Uh…er…You're sort of creeping me out now…**

**Al: :D**

**Scar: Umm…**

**Elysia: Yay! Bye-bye…!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: GET ONE NAO. Kthxbai XD**

_Ok...Let's get started. Muheheheh :D__**role model**__ for all women all over the world! I bet it isn't easy to keep Roi-Chan in line. What is your favorite gun to use?__**Winry**__) Throw some wrenches at my brother please? He hit me with a book today. And I once saw a story where you were paired up with Hawkeye. I thought that was weird as in wouldn't happen, but what do you think about that?__**Calico cat**__ who died from Flea Medicine Poisoning, and I still miss her. Do you like just the cute cuddly cats, or all of them like Lions and Leopards?_

Roi-Chan! (Roy) I saw a story once where you were in a different world and your last name was Pferd (German for horse). Does this mean that you are a Stallion? Don't get shot too many times, and what would you do if you became a Vampire?

Riza-Dono (Hawkeye) You are a good

Winry-Chan! (

Envy-Chan (Envy) Did you know that the most often seen pictures of you have either EnvyxEd or EnvyxLust? I think they both suck, I prefer EnvyxMistress9 myself. You are my favorite character because you are a well-rounded villain. And do you get cold during winter with your outfit? Nothing against it, it just looks cold.

Lust-San (Lust) Could you please keep an eye on Gluttony? Because I saw him skulking around my house last night.

Alphonse-Sama (Al) I had a

Edward-Dono (Ed) They always say, save the best for last. Does dying hurt? I think you are about 5 feet 2 inches, because when you remove boots and hair point, I think that's what you get. I'm 5 feet 6 inches, and I've been told I'm freakishly tall before. Which makes me sad. And I'm afraid I found the perfect insult for you (Only telling you to warn you). It's FullPETAL. Sorry if I offend you for telling you.

_Pheonix to Flame_

**Roy: …What do you mean by a "stallion"? I'm…a human…My real last name just happens to be that of a horse, so the author of that story probably just took that idea since I was er…in a different world. If…I became a vampire? I assure you, that is never going to happen.**

**Riza: Thank you very much. And no, it isn't easy. I really don't have a favorite type of gun; the situation decides which kind I use.**

**Winry: YOU SHOULDN'T BE MEAN TO YOUR SISTER! (throws wrench) Haha…really, people all have their own preferences, but I really just see her as a good friend.**

**Envy: Not that I know who "Mistress9" is (is it you?), but all of those suck. I'm not in love with anyone, alright? And I never will be. Does that sound homunculus-like to you? Didn't think so. Though I do thank you, I suppose. I usually try to stay out of cold places, but otherwise, I'd just wear something else, not that the cold really bothers me, but it would be a bit suspicious…**

**Lust: Ah, so that's where he was last night…I'll do my best…**

**Al: Oh no, that's so sad! Did you get another one? Oh, I like domestic cats the best, but if we're talking about wild cats, I do tend to prefer them over other wild animals, but most domestic animals over the wild cats.**

**Ed: Got that right! Well, in the way I died, it hurt both physically and mentally, but I guess if you're old and you die peacefully, it's not all that bad. Um, let's not discuss my height, kay? But hey, you're not _that_ tall either. Not to say that you're short. AND NEITHER AM I.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: I'm 5 feet 3 inches, according to the height and weight thing in gym. But they also said I weighed 7 pounds more than I do, so it's probably a little off lol.**

**Ed: …Anyway. Uh way to give people ideas of how to insult me.**

**That's it for now! See, that wasn't so bad, now was it? X3 Only a few weeks, ne? IT WAS THE DRIS & SORA THUMS FAULT. BECAUSE. I WAS WAITING FOR THEM TO WRITE IN.**

**Ok not really. Ily XD**

**ALSO. DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE FANART CONTEST. I'D BETTER GET MORE THAN 3 ENTRIES OR I'LL BE SAD!! D:**


	74. Chapter 74

**I have a LEGIT reason for being late with this again :O It's because I was working on **_**"White Houses"**_** so diligently…And because only 2 people entered the fanart contest so I was disappointed and uninspired. SO IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULTS. Except for the two people who entered :D Btw the winner? You'll see at the end of this :D**

**Also, as I'm posting this on like the 2****nd**** day of Chanukah and about 3 days before Christmas…**_**HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!**_

_HALLO! I have returned with a serious question._

What do you do when you're feeling depressed and you can't talk to anyone about it because your role in their lives is the person people talk to? For example, I comfort my mom when she's upset and because of that I don't think I can ask her to comfort me because that's MY job. Same for all my friends, I don't know what to do about it.

Envy: I'm no fangirl! I don't even like you! Seriously, I'm ** off. Crochet me a blanket or I'll kill you and when you come back to life I'll cut you into itty bitty pieces and then burn them and throw them in the ocean so that the fishes may feast on you. KNAVE!

Neassa

**Ed: There's no one else you can talk to? Maybe a guidance counselor or a teacher you really like? Even if you don't talk to them about **_**why **_**you're depressed, talking to them about **_**something **_**will get your mind off of it and will probably help.**

**Al: There are also sites online where you can blog about your problems and friends who you may have never met in person can give you advice; sort of like this. Like, we all know the authoress has a LiveJournal she's constantly on, so if you had one, too, she in the very least could talk to you, and then over time you can add more and more friends who can read about your problems so you get more versatile opinions.**

**Winry: And speaking of the Authoress, she still has your AIM screenname. So I've heard.**

**Envy: WHAT IF I CAN'T CROCHET?**

_Author- Okay, sorry...Lelouch left already ^^;_

Ed- I thought it was so CUTE when you blushed when Winry hugged you in the movie!! You like her, dontcha? :D ADMIT IT! or else... bike training to the MAX for you!!

Winry- I'm sure Ed likes you...:D hehe…as in...more than a friend (wink) oh, btw...do you have a favorite wrench? I think Ed stole it after being sick of being hit with it… XD

that's all!!  
Ja ne!  
Ookami Bakura

**BakaKonekoRKL: D:**

**Ed: …Um, it was pretty hot there…I think I was just getting flushed from the temperature…**

**Winry: Haha…sure…Anyway, I think I like all of my wrenches equally…each one is perfect for their own specific job. And don't worry, I'd notice if Ed stole one…**

_Havoc  
-tackles Havoc to the ground-  
What do girls say to you before they dump you? Is it true that you smoke a package of smokes in a day or does it depend on your mood? Ever been compared to anyone? Ever been told that you are not hot enough?_

Dorochet  
Any advice on overcoming fear?

_Velvet Sin_

**Havoc: What do they…Oh, I dunno, usually something like, "Havoc, can we talk for just a sec?" or "There's something I need to talk to you about…" …Something like that. Haha, no, I'm not so bad that I smoke a pack a day, usually less than five. Sometimes my (ex) girlfriends compare me to Roy…stupid bastard…Uh, and yes. Thank you for those depressing questions.**

**Dorochet: You can't overcome your fear until you face it head on. That's the first step. Then try not to think about it, whatever it is, and just get around it. Once you've gotten past that first hurdle, it's easier to get past that fear next time, and soon you'll no longer be afraid of it.**

_Scar_  
_I do write in my journal and I'm currently working on probably 3 stories including a Death Note one for a challenge at DeviantArt. Still, I don't know what caused me to write that song. Nothing bad has happened to me lately but I guess when you see a lot of violence…I wrote that song because I felt that it was something everyone felt inside. I do feel much better having you to talk to and being able to release my emotions in songs. A lot of things happened in my life but fate always steps in.  
I assume that people gave you the name Scar because of the scar on your face? If you could of given yourself another alias, what would it have been? Worst thing you ever tried?  
Do you watch the stars at night? Was there ever a time that you desired to feel love after the Ishbal Massacre? Stupidest rule you heard? What rule have you broken?  
By the way, I feel happier now.__real thing__? Is it true that you were once pranked by your own men?  
I bet you would get more ladies if you were a kitten (…I'm joking)._

Kain  
I'm sure that they do get your name messed up but I do envy you for having a  
cool name. I get jokes about mine because my first name is named after liquor and I have  
two last names. -anime sweatdrop on her forehead as she adjusts her glasses-  
Is it true someone once called you Adorkable?  
Ever bent or broken any rules? (same question to Havoc)  
Ever punched someone by accident? (same question to Roy)  
Ever been hugged by complete strangers because you were so cute?(blush) Who is most likely to forget something when they show up to work?  
Ever get over your fear of ghosts?  
If I ever think up more questions for you, cute one, I will write them down.

Riza  
Biggest challenge for you? Do you secretly enjoy getting the men into order and working?  
Strangest thing you ever heard from someone? Any advice on how to stand out more? (same question to Ed and Al)

Dorochet  
Ever got drunk with Greed?  
Strangest place you slept?

Roy  
Is it true that even with training, nothing can prepare you for the

_Sonar_

**Scar: As long as it makes you feel better, it doesn't matter **_**why**_** you write. As for your questions. Yes, that is the reason. I don't really care what name I'm given for an alias; it doesn't really bother me. The worst thing I ever tried was marzipan; that stuff is just disgusting…If I don't have a roof over my head, I do tend to look at the stars at night. If you mean love in a romantic sense, no, but the love of friends and family, yes. I think a stupid rule is having to keep your elbows off the table when you eat; of course I've broken rules about killing others.**

**Kain: You should just ignore those people and be proud of your name! Hmm…I dunno, maybe someone called me that in this column once upon a time…I've never broken a single rule!**

**Havoc: What's with you and rules today? Yeah, I've broken a few…I'm always late, for one thing.**

**Kain: And I've never punched anyone! **(horrified)

**Roy: **(snort) **Well…I wouldn't exactly call it an **_**accident…**_

**Kain: …A-Anyway…Only by random strangers on this column! As for your next question…that would be Havoc ^^;; And uh… **(looks around) **Not...really…**

**Riza: Getting respect. Yes, I do. Hmm…something about a hamster tree? But I was just passing by and could have heard wrong…If you want to stand out more in a positive way, show your passion for whatever you love. Since you love writing songs, sing one at a talent show.**

**Ed: You could also start or join a club or two that interests you and become active in it.**

**Al: Always offer your opinions on things. Even if people don't agree with you, it' still your opinion, and you might make an impression on someone.**

**Dorochet: Nah…I'd be the one who had to keep him under control when he did get drunk, though. And a park bench.**

**Roy: For the first question, yes, that is true. For the second…I neither confirm nor deny.**

_Would you guys like a robot that acted like a servant? That would always go like 'Yes, sir!' or 'Yes, ma'am!' Would you guys like that? ...Would you like it if it was super hyperactive and often forgot your orders?  
Ed, when did you realize that you hated milk? Like, when's the earliest time you can remember about the milk thing?  
__Envy__, I'd love to be poisoned, if it's by you. xD  
Well, bye!  
September Rhyme_

**Roy: Obviously one that follows orders.**

**Ed: Since I was like 3.**

**Envy: …Well yes, you'd like that, wouldn't you?…**

_To anyone: What do you think of the current economic crisis in the United States?_

...What? It's time someone started focusing on the issues.

Also, to Ed: Would you rather be invisible, have the ability to fly, or be a giant flying bird that is also invisible?

_NCHammer326_

**Roy: I think that there's definitely something they could do to lessen the severe-ness of it all, but they won't do it and will just be screwed in the end.**

**Ed: If I was invisible, it'd be a lot easier to sneak around…**

_EVERYONE, I NEED HELP!!_

See, I have this friend. She's going through a...a "stage," and being really immature and gross and stuff (like third-grader-gross), and whenever someone says something or expresses an opinion, she always automatically goes the opposite way, just to ** them off. A lot of people don't like her, but I know she's a really nice person inside. Anyway, I feel like I'm one of her only friends--but lately I don't like her as much any more. I'm not disgusted by her or anything, I just don't want to hang around her that much for some reason, and I don't know why.

Also, I just got permission to go the Fanimecon (which is eight months away from when I'm writing this) with all of my friends, and as soon as she found out she wanted to go too. And the thing is, I really don't want her to go, and I don't even know why I feel this way.

I'm half hoping that she gets sick or something. What should I do?!

**BakaKonekoRKL: …Not to make light of the situation, but I was watching "STAGE" 23 of Code Geass when I answered this. IRONY? :O**

**Winry: Why don't you just talk to her about it? There's always the possibility that she won't listen to you, but if you're able to make her serious as you talk to her, maybe you can get through to her. Let her know how much she's been bothering people, and warn her that soon you'll be her only friend, and not a close one at that (that's the direction this seems like it's going in).**

**Al: The reason why you don't want to hang around her as much is probably not because you find her disgusting, but rather she just annoys you. You're both changing, and you probably need your space.**

**Ed: Try not to hurt her, but if it gets to the point where she's just really bothersome and won't listen to you…well, I might even yell at her.**

_How does a person get broke so fast? One day I had money, the next I didn't. Mystery!__Cowboy Bebop__, Rose, or a Negro version of Misa Amane from __Death Note__ (I'll take a potato chip...and EAT IT). I can't decide which. So...I would appreciate Miss Rhi's vote as well as the vote of the cast. If you don't know who those people are, cast, then pick somebody randomly. I won't tell._

Anyway, so I've settled down between Edward of

Also, I'm alone this time. FOR ONCE! Shi has taken to Nintendo, and we haven't seen her since. So, now...

ZILO MAKES COMMENTS...ALONE

To Rhi: It's so difficult to find a really good joke. Mostly because they're all good, partly because I get lost in the chapters. I found one but I don't know if I want to use it. And I don't wanna crossdress! Unless I'm portraying Negro!Ed (points at Ed, waves and smiles)  
Also, have you ever seen YGO TAS? I'm currently hooked.

To Scar: Yay! Nice handwriting.

To Envy: Well, sure, but ski masks are half the fun of committing crimes, right?

To Al: (hugs) Thanks for lighting up my sister's life! Also, would you prefer your real body to be really short (like 3'7'') or really tall (like 7'3'')?

To Ed: Honda and Toyota are the car-makers. There's lots of others, many with Japanese names. I forget which one makes the Mustang. Uh...uh...Ford?

To...uh, I don't know, I keep running out of questions!

To Winry: If you had to have some other profession besides the one you have, what would it be? Also, if you had to dye your hair, what color would it be?

I ran into someone the other day who insists Winry's name is spelled "Winery". As in, the place that contains all your wine. Psh! This person also wholeheartedly believes Envy's a girl and Ed is only 13. I'm surrounded by...well, I won't say it, because it's only one.

Can anyone tell me what "pulchritudinous" means? I think I mighty have spelled it wrong, too...

Okay, that's all I can think of. Everybody be good, or bad, or yourselves, whatever. Rhi, I'll chat you up on LJ, UNLESS THE APOCALYPSE OCCURS...which is kind of unlikely, but you know.

--Zilo Sugarpill

**BakaKonekoRKL: Ya gotta save it up ;D Also, I'm torn between Rose, who I've never seen a cosplayer of, or Misa-Misa, who I cosplay. So count one towards each XD**

**Ed: I'm gonna be biased and vote for that Ed guy.**

**Rose: I'm gonna be biased and vote for…me.**

**Al: …The Ed guy…Brother…**

**Winry: We don't need any more Eds! Rose.**

**Roy: I dunno, is this Misa person hot?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: …Ok Rose wins. It's an FMA fic, we're all biased here XD Anyways~ YES DO ED AH HA HA that…sounded awkward lol. I haven't seen the YGO one, but I LOVE the Naruto and Code Geass ones LMFAOROTFL. :D**

**Envy: Unless you **_**want **_**the people to know it was you…**

**Al: Aw, no problem! Well, either way, wouldn't I die at a rather young age? O__o I mean, generally people who are either extremely short or extremely tall die younger than normal because their bones and stuff are all out of whack…**

**Winry: I'd be a surgeon, like my parents. If I had to dye all of my hair, I'd dye it brown, but if it was just some streaks or something, pink. Also…you might want to have that person actually watch the series?**

**Ed: It means to have great physical beauty…you know, there are dictionaries in the world…**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Actually the entire internet is supposed to just completely die into nothingness within a few years…we'll see how that goes XD**

_I've got a few questions.  
I have a friend named Jordan. He wants to be a wrestler (a guy with bulging muscles, basically) but he never makes an effort to exercise or eat right. And whenever I hang around with him, all he ever talks about are zombies and bad-ass games. To be honest, I don't think I can stand all of this much longer._

Armstrong, you work out, right? So what could I do to make him work harder toward his goal of being a wrestler? And to anyone else who cares, how do I deal with his obsession of zombies and stuff?

Roy, I just want to say that with your looks, you remind me of my older brother. I believe he's in boot camp right now.

-S.A.D.

**Armstrong: What!? Is he serious!? Well, if your school offers a nutrition class, get him to take it (perhaps tell him there's not much work involved, it's a "do-nothing" class, and a possibility of free food?), because they teach so much about eating right and also exercise. That's probably the best way to get through to him, but you can also sneak him facts about the adverse affects of bad nutrition and poor exercise.**

**Ed: On the other hand, if he's still fairly young and has a lot of time to change his mind, I wouldn't worry about it too much, because if that's the case, he probably won't want to be a wrestler as much within the next 5 years or so. As for his zombie obsession, he may just get addicted to one thing after the other or something, so just wait for it to pass.**

**Roy: …Are you insulting me?**

_Dris__: We totally got blamed for something!!  
__Sora__: ...That's not a good thing, you know?  
Dris: Yeah, I know, but it was a second mention!  
Sora: Well, that's true...  
Dris: THE AUTHORESS IS EXCITED FOR--  
Sora: Stop shouting!  
Dris: --us! Hooray!  
Sora: Tell her what your name means.  
Dris: Sure! We used a phonetical spellage for the first word, which came out "Teh" and I didn't get until later that that's how everybody misspells "The" so some people might think it was "The" so, my bad! It's actually "Teh" T-E-H with a short e. Okay, so now figure out the pun! Come on, come on!  
Sora: We're going to a cosplay party on __Halloween__. I'll be Hanajima again.  
Dris: I'm going as that redheaded kid from Cowboy BeBop because that's, like, the only black anime character I know besides Brock, and I won't be a dude!  
Sora: The classes sound not so terrible, but being shy does make things tougher. My mom is just like that.  
Dris: I used to be like that when I was a kid, but I blossomed into a social butterfly, la la la!  
Sora: Yes, she's quite obnoxious now!  
Dris: HEY!  
Sora: (innocently) What?  
Dris: Sorry, Hughes, but I already have my walls covered with pics and all my albums are full and barely a day goes by where I'm not stepping on a picture...I just don't have the room!  
Sora: It's true, it really is.  
Dris: Yay, Ed forgives me! So can we be buds?  
Sora: What about Roy?  
Dris: ...  
Sora: ...  
Dris: Can I call him Roytoy?  
Sora: (facepalm)  
Dris: Okay, I've got a question! To the military peeps (again) if you could change one thing about your uniforms, what would it be? And "miniskirts" isn't an acceptable answer, Roytoy!  
Sora: Also to Ed and Al, I know you're quite busy all the time, but if you had a random day off, then what kind of things would you do for fun?  
Dris: WE CREEPED HAVOC OUT!  
Sora: Stop yelling!  
Dris: Sorry. But hey! There's this magnet thing that you stick on your left ear, and you can go on smoking as usual, but THE CRAVINGS EVENTUALLY STOP! Isn't that COOL?!  
Sora: Alphonse, my friend's cat just had 5 kittens, and she named one of them after you. It's got eyes your same color and everything!  
Dris: Tell him the other names!  
Sora: There's Kaiba, Kaoru, Shugo, and Lelouch also.  
Dris: She's an otaku, obviously!  
Sora: Okay, so now we're leaving!  
Dris: AND TOMORROW OR SOME OTHER DAY WE'RE INFILTRATING LIVEJOURNAL BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE YOUR CON PICTURES!  
Sora: ...  
Dris: ...I'm the first one!  
Sora: What?  
Dris: In our nicknames. I'm always the first one.  
Sora: We've already gotten our next nickname, too.  
Dris: Ota and Kuu! I'm Ota.  
Sora: And I'm Kuu. We might use that for our __LiveJournal__...  
Dris: And now, I'M HUNGRY!  
Sora: Bye, everyone! (hugs Al, Elysia, waves at everyone else)_

--Dris and Sora

**BakaKonekoRKL: YEAH IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT D: …not really lol. Even though I was able to figure ota/ku out, I'm still having trouble with Teh Dris…I dunno, I keep repeating it over and over to myself with different pronounciations, so maybe I've said it but just haven't realized it/don't get it? :O Je ne sais pas. I give up D: Also…-skips down- the kittens names…Obviously I know Lelouch UNF but Kaoru as in from OHSHC? Because there are like 5 other Kaorus I know of lol. If it is, yell at her for not naming another one of them Hikaru D: AND YEAH GET LJs. SRSLY. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO FIND ME ALREADY. WHEN IS THIS HAPPENING!? D:**

**Rose: Um…I'm dark-skinned, don't I count?**

**Hughes: AHH! DON'T STEP ON PICTURES OF MY ELYSIA!!**

**Ed: …I…guesss…**

**Roy: How about no? How about Colonel Mustang.**

**Havoc: More pockets. To put uh…things.**

**Breda: Like cigarettes and lighters?**

**Havoc: …Maybe!**

**Riza: I'd like it if they could be made out of a thinner material or something. They're really thick, so it gets really hot, especially in summertime.**

**Breda: Now **_**there's**_** an idea!**

**Ed: Go swimming, read, sleep…**

**Al: I guess I'd like to walk around whatever town we're in and get to know it, like what kinds of places are there and stuff.**

**Havoc: …why would I want to put a magnet on my ear?**

**Al: Awww, that's so cute! Well, it's an honor to be one of their namesakes!**

_Envy: Yeah...they're a little fragile on the inside though, so _please_ don't destroy their souls forever! And of _course_ I love your hair, it's the coolest in the whole show/manga!_

Ed: Hey, I'm short too, but at least you're taller than me, right?

Al: Eh, the cat only hates ME. He's got it out for me. I bet he'd put on the innocent act around you.

Roy: Yeah, A YEAR. But only cause when I said you were cool they'd tickle me until I couldn't talk anymore...they're very, very cruel.

Riza: Thank you very much for the great advice! It really helped me!

Scar: That's good, 'cause there ARE people that enjoy it and I'm glad you're not one of them! By the way, if you could have one thing in the world, what would it be?

Havoc: I love you. You are AWESOME.

Wrath: Lets! -Takes ice cream out of freezer and shares-

_Death By Silence_

**Envy: I make no promises. Ah ha ha~ why thank you, I know it is.**

**Ed: Am I? How do I know you're telling the truth; I don't know how tall you are!**

**Al: Aww, I'm sure he's really sweet on the inside!**

**Roy: Tickling…that's very serious indeed…**

**Riza: I'm glad!**

**Scar: Understanding.**

**Havoc: Hey, who doesn't? ;D**

**Wrath: MMMM!**

_Well it's me again.__allergic to cats__?__Thanks for the pictures__ of Elysia.__7 Deadly Sins__?_

Ed: Would you like to be taller?

Al: What if you were

Hughes: How much information about Elysia can you fit on the back of an 8" by 11" picture?

The Homunculi: Why do you have names of the

-Mimiki

**Ed: …Noooo.**

**Al: Um…sorry, Brother was being scarcastic…Well, they have medicine you can take for allergies, right?**

**Hughes: As much as I need to! I can write very small, if need be.**

**Lust: Because bringing a human back to life, thus creating a Homunculus, is the greatest sin in Alchemy.**

_Ed and Winry: WHY AREN'T YOU TOGETHER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I mean, I know you guys are in separate universes, but you're here now! Ed, do not deny it. If you do, I will attack you with my army of evil zombies until you do._

Al: You are awesome.

Well, that's all!  
-Fullmetal Maniac

**Ed: Um…**

**Winry: Uh…**

**Ed: Er…**

**Winry: Um…**

**Ed: Because! This isn't a romance fanfiction! And even if it were…er…well, I didn't deny it?**

**Al: Heehee…thanks!**

_Hi!__elevator shoes__ and antenna) you're taller than me, and there's people that sure are shorter than you in our grade (they're 14 years old). And btw, can I hug you? 8D__dogs are better than cats__..._

Ed: You're not short. (With your

Al: My dog wants to say, that

Scar: Yo man!

Gluttony: Hey! Have a pizza. *hands over some pizza* Can I get your autograph? :D Don't eat that sketch book or I'll eat you...

~Ypsilon  
Whoa, it's 6th of December, the Finnish Independent Day... 8D

**Ed: …Okay, just for that, sure. A quick hug.**

**Al: Um…well, dogs are nice, too, I mean, look how cute Den is!**

**Den: Arf~!**

**Al: But…I dunno, there's just something about cats that's just adorable…**

**Scar: …What?**

**Gluttony: Mmmm… **(eating pizza) **Mmhmm! **(signs name)

**Ed: Wow, Finland?**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Damn, people are reading this that far away? Awesome!**

_I have at least two or three questions:_

Entire FMA cast:

Why is the sky blue?

Winry:  
You remind me of my friend who likes to kick my ankles when I do something stupid. It's not nice to hit people.

Ed:  
You're not short...

You're fun size!

AirDragon717

**Winry: Isn't it some kind of chemical thing? …Anyway…I don't kick people, I throw wrenches at them, and only when they act like idiots! So you probably deserved it.**

**Ed: …SHUT UP.**

**AND THE WINNER IS…**

**ZILO!!! Congratulations~ :D You win a 2 page-handwritten letter and a fanart of your choice (it doesn't have to be FMA; just tell me the anime/characters/poses/etc.).**

**Hilaria, yours actually came in at a close second! So you get a 1-page handwritten letter and a fanart of MY choice…so just tell me whichever anime you want it from lol.**

**And just so you know, I didn't pick the winner…About seven people who read my LiveJournal voted on several aspects of each entry, so I didn't even count, so I wasn't biased at all :D**

**So, girls, please e-mail me (see profile) your addresses. If you prefer not to give out your addresses (of course, I won't share them with anyone), I obviously can't do the letters, but still lemme know about the fanart and I can put that up on DA.**

**I'M GONNA HOLD ANOTHER FANART CONTEST FOR THE LAST CHAPTER OF THIS, SO GET THOSE IDEAS ROLLING, AND SHARPEN THOSE PENCILS…or mouses ;D**


	75. Chapter 75

Hope everyone had a great holiday season and an amazing ending to 2008, and I hope that 2009 treats you even better!!

…**One of my resolutions is to finish this fic :O Well…I'd like to finish it before I graduate high school but uh…we'll see how that goes XD OHAY WE'RE ¾ OF THE WAY DONE! –just realized this-**

**ALSO. I typed this between 4am and 7am on New Year's Day. So if anything's off, that's why. FOUR AM AND SEVEN AM. JUST SAYING. –twitches-**

_To everyone:_

Two things, one serious, and the other fairly odd.

1. I am an Ed cosplayer, and my friend Vanessa cosplays as Envy. Would that make us half-brothers or half-sisters? -confused-

2. I tried out for the school talent show with seventeenth century Italian opera and went SO FLAT on measure thirty-two. All my friends assured me I did great, and I got in, but I kind of don't want to mess up in front of the people who get their kicks from making my life miserable. I really don't know if I want to perform anymore, which is so not like me. Does anybody have any advice?

Thanks,  
Major Riza McKirdy, Lupine Alchemist

Envy: It makes you half-wierdos.

Ed: Seriously, though? It depends how into roleplaying you are.

Al: Well, just because you messed up once doesn't mean you're going to every time. If you can practice at home, or anywhere where you feel comfortable, you'll get better and I'm sure you won't go flat anymore! If performing is one of your passions, you should go with it, no matter what obstacles stand in your way; you can always overcome them.

Ed: And if people try to "make your life miserable"- hey, you're the one up there singing, not them, so just ignore them. Or, after they say something, wait a second, then turn and say, "Hm? What?" That'll piss 'em off…

_Aloha! Konnichiwa!! Hola! Hi! XD  
How is everyone? whoot! I'm on my 3-week winter break!! Enough time to work on my fan art and fan fics... hehehe... ^^;_

Ed and Winry: I watched this video on youtube (it was held somewhere, don't remember) where your English VA says...like a skit where Ed proposes to marry Winry... AHH! *__* it was so cute and funny! I could totally imagined that happening between you two while listening/watching...

Ed- are you the type of person to go one knee and propose? Also there was the mentioning of you practicing on Al XD

FMA cast: have you done Karaoke before? I haven't... I heard from my friends that I can sing...even though I don't think I do... ^^;

Roy and Ed- I don't like the yaoi pairing of you two...bleh! But I like you two as like in a parental type of relationship... like Roy(father)/Ed(son). Its cute! ^^ I wrote a one-shot called "A Visit to the Dentist" where Roy takes Ed for a dentist appointment... :D would you mind reading it? Thanks!  
I'd appreciate it...

This is a random question, but...  
FMA cast: what if your roles are switched? For instance... Winry's the main protagonist and Ed...has Winry's place...as a mechanic; and Roy's and Riza's roles are...switched...yup...random XDD *imagining it right now* I think Winry's little sister would either be Elysia or Nina...(no offence, sorry) ^^;

Another random question...  
Ed, Roy, Al (maybe other male good characters)- what if you were part of a gang who's role was to take over...oh...say...one or all of Amestris? And you were all "Bad" and stuff... what would your team name be? :D

FMA girls- (same question as the guys)

Roy, (maybe other FMA guys)- I dare you to say "Satisfy Me" to the FMA girls and other women; and see what their response to that is... (cackles evilly)

Wow.. long review... O.O

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU ALL! :D  
~Ookami Bakura

BakaKonekoRKL: …Are you stalking me, because I watched that video like a week before I got your review :O

Ed and Winry: (laugh) Yeah right!

Ed: Um…I'm under twenty. I don't need to worry about proposing yet because it's kind of illegal at my age, I'm pretty sure?

Al: P-Practicing?! Brother, what were you practicing on me?!

Ed: To my knowledge? Nothing.

Al: (sigh of relief) Oh, thank goodness.

Winry: Well first of all, if it's just for karaoke, it doesn't really matter how well you can sing, really. But if your friends say you can sing- hey, maybe you can! Maybe you can take singing lessons and you might become really good!

Ed and Roy: _Me_ read something about _him_? Ugh, no thanks.

Al: Who do I switch with? :D

Ed: Then I'd be one pretty damn good mechanic.

Winry: Oh yeah? I'd be a better Alchemist than you ever were!

Ed: Oh yeah?

Winry: Yeah!

Riza: I'd actually get paperwork done.

Al: B-B-But…I'd never do that!!

Ed: It's just hypothetical.

Roy: Well I'd be the leader of said gang and-

Ed: Um. Is it "FullMetal Alchemist" or "Flame Alchemist"?

Roy: Aw, shut up, pipsqueak.

Ed: OH, IT'S ON NOW!

Roy: Heh, bring it.

All others: Happy holidays!

_Hey guys, it's been a while since I've been on here, and a lot of stuff has happened since the last time I wrote._

1. I broke up with my boyfriend, the one who wanted to marry me, about six months ago now.

2. I found out that he was cheating on me with another girl during the last month of our relationship.

3. My brother and my parents (well, mostly my brother and my mom) have been getting into fights almost continuously for the past three months.

4. As a direct result of number three, I am now seriously thinking about going to college up north from where I live, if not just to get away from all of the junk that's been going on. I am so sick and tired of getting pulled into the crap on either side that all I want to do is go as far away as I  
can... with a legitamate reason of course. Which is why I'm currently looking up scholarships and praying that I'll get accepted.

So... I guess the million dollar question is what would you guys do?

And, on top of that, I keep feeling depressed when I go and see other couples together... hell, even my 'self-proclaimed' _**little sister**__ has a boyfriend now, and my brother has a girlfriend now too. I guess I'm feeling lonely... but I don't want to HAVE to have a guy to make me feel complete. God, I'm so confused anymore..._

Not to mention the fact that my parents and brother had the first major blowup on my 20th birthday, and things have been pretty tense since then. There have been a few days that I wished that I didn't have to go home... or could just leave for a few days. I love my family, don't get me wrong... but I'm so tired of this... good grief, I don't even know what to call it anymore.

Okay, now for the individual messages.

Greed, Roy, Scar, Havoc, Hughes: You guys interested in an intervention of some kind? I will be forever grateful if one of you can come and beat my brother upside the head and knock some sense into him... or at least convince him of the fact that being 18 and having a girlfriend who's 16 just might not be the smartest of moves. That's ironically what most of the fights between him and my mom have been about. And Hughes, just think about how you would feel if it were Elysia that my brother was interested in, if that helps you put it into perspective at all.

Envy: Any suggestions about what to do with any of this junk that I've been going through? (Thinks for a moment before handing him a cardboard box full of kinitted/crochetted blankets) Here, you can have all of these too. I found them when we cleaned out the attic a few weeks ago, and I thought that you might have some use for them. As for how the fangirls will know that you  
"made" them... just remember that Sharpie is your best friend. Hopefully that will get them off of your back for a while.

Riza, _**Winry**__: I need a roommate for NAU. Either of you two interested? I don't snore, sleepwalk, or sleeptalk, I swear._

_**Izumi**__: Can I crash at your place, and maybe learn some martial arts from you for a while? In my personal opinion, I'm way too damn weak._

Ed: I finally hit 5'5! Horray!! (Does the happy dance) I owe it all to milk, and finally getting that 1/4 inch that I needed!! And I know that when you hit about eighteen or so you'll have one heck of a growth spurt... my brother shot up like a weed over the past six months, and he was smaller than most of his friends for a long time. Yes, I have great faith in you, Edward Elric. Together, we shall show all of those tall people who mocked us, and make them rue the day that they were born!

_Wandering Hitokiri_

Ed: I think that now is the time when your family needs you the most. Of course, we're not getting the full story here, but whether you support your mother or your brother in these situations, you have the power to reason with both sides before the screaming can start. And you can save a lot of pain.

Al: On the other hand, sometimes it's better to just not get involved at all and let things work themselves out, but like Brother said if you can help them without ganging up on one side, it seems like it would be beneficial to them.

Winry: It's really easy to feel that way, especially when you're surrounded by other couples. Now is your time to be independent and not be held down by anyone. I mean, it's great when you can have someone there, but it's equally as great to just be by yourself, right?

BakaKonekoRKL: May I also suggest the song "Single" by Natasha Bedingfield? You'll feel way empowered. But whatever you do, DO NOT listen to "First Date" by blink182. Trust me. You'll be sad.

Winry: Another thing you could do is something like what parents do when their kids fight: you be the judge while each side defends his/her case. Make sure to keep the conversation adult to adult; if either of them sends you a sign that they're acting childish, get them back on track!

Roy: I don't see what's so bad about that. It's a two year difference.

Hughes: But…Roy! Think of Elysia!

Roy: That would be like a twelve year difference. It's not the same thing.

Envy: Kill 'em all?

Winry: Does NAU stand for National Automail University? Because then I'd be glad to go!

Riza: Sorry, but I already have a job.

Izumi: Oh yeah, sure! _If_ you can first spend a month on an uninhabited island.

Ed: YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! Yeah but I'm not gonna drink milk, so good luck with that.

_Scar  
Thanks Scar.  
What is a marzipan?  
I agree with you on the elbows on the table rule.  
What do you think is your best trait? (besides the good looks of course)_

Kain  
(smiles) It makes me feel better. I've gotten use to the name calling. You've seriously never punched anyone?  
Ever passed out after having liquor?  
Ever got pressured into something you didn't want to do?  
Worse thing to happen while doing a task?  
Anyone ever pinch your cheeks?

Roy  
Who did you punch?

Havoc  
Want a hug? (hugs Havoc before he can respond)  
I know that sooner or later, you will find someone but it might be best if you went to a place where Roy wasn't around.  
By the way, you're cute when you do funny reactions.  
Do you believe in ghosts? Do you often corrupt Fuery? (there is rumors going on that you do)  
Ever dressed like Roy to get a girl?

Riza  
You're so sweet. Thanks.  
Ever took a joke seriously?

Dorochet  
What has the weirdest thing you seen Greed do while drunk?  
Before becoming a chimera, did you like cats?

_Sonar_

Scar: It's a kind of almond paste. You can argue this, but it's fairly disgusting. _My_ best trait? I suppose I'm pretty good about thinking about things…

Kain: Aw, I'm happy! But really, you shouldn't have to take that! No, I've never punched anyone, and I don't really drink, so no to that, too. You mean like peer pressure? When I was younger, my friends convinced me to skip school the next day to go to a fair, but when they came to get me, I was sick, so I really stayed home sick. I think the worst thing to happen…Ah, I spilled coffee all over some important papers…And besides relatives when I was little, no.

Roy: That's…classified.

Havoc: Um…yes…I guess? I don't know if I really believe in ghosts, but yeah, I do tend to scare Fuery a bit with stories…haha…And no…no I haven't…

Riza: No problem. And yes.

Dorochet: I tend to keep guard at times like that. Cats are…alright, but I've _always_ preferred dogs.

_Guess whose back! Well, I have only a few questions._

Ed: Why is it when someone calls you short you come back with an even worse  
insult against yourself?  
You're fun-sized not short!

Al: If a _**stray cat**__ had rabies would you keep it?_

To the authoress: Would you make one of these for another anime like _**Naruto**__ or something?_

Mimiki

Ed: I do not!!

Everyone: Yes, you do.

Ed: …Okay, maybe sometimes.

Al: Well, Brother wouldn't let me keep it, but I'd take it to a vet at least!

BakaKonekoRKL: At one time, I would have, but honestly, it's just too stressful for me at this point in my life. I mean with school and stuff, and I have other fanfics to write, you know? So maybe you could do it! :D

_OMG I WON?!?!?!? NOWAYNOWAYNOWAY! YA-A-A-AY! (goes around randomly hugging  
and high-fiving people, and waving happily at those who don't want hugs/high-fives) I'm so happy! I thought I didn't stand a chance in he--well, I figured I stood a LITTLE chance, but I actually won! I'M SO HAPPY! Can you tell?_

Okay, now I need to calm down so I can question you guys some more. Oh, but I can't! (hugs Rhi, twice, give high-five and candy)

Anyway, YOU ALL FAIL. Just kidding. But I ended up going as Negro!Misa. I think next time I'll plan ahead better and go as Roze. Oh yeah, and the Ed from Cowboy BeBop's a girl, everybody. AHAHAHA "DO ED" HAD ME IN STITCHES

Okay, back to sanity...

ZILO...ALONE AGAIN, W00T

To Rhi: Oh yeah, I wanna see the Naruto one, but I always remember whenever I'm not near a comp. I need sticky notes...

To Al: Holy crap, really? OMG, should I be worried? I haven't grown in five years...(begins to worry incessantly)

To _**Winry**__: Surgeons get paid tons of money. If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Same question to all the "military peeps" and Ed and Al._

To Ed: Yeah, well, so?

To Rhi: (again) You're kidding me!! Who said that?

Hmm...let's see then...

To the _**Homunculi**__: If the world was about to come to an abrupt end, what would you do? Ed and Al and Winry can answer too._

I'm so happy!!

To Roy: If you had to stalk somebody, who would it be?

To Dante: Would you rather have to eat a tub of mayonnaise or a pound of butter?...Or should I aim this towards Gluttony? Okay, here we go. Dante, would you rather be bald or have super-long hair? (like, ankle length)

Okay, that's all I've got. Everyone follow your hearts, or whatever. Bye!

--Zilo Sugarpill

BakaKonekoRKL: Yes~! You won! Lol. Anyway. Here's your reminder. Go watch it. Now.

Al: Oh, no, no, no! I mean if you're either extremely short or extremely tall or something. I'm sorry! Don't worry, you're probably just your full height!

Winry: Hmm…

Ed: Stew is pretty good.

Winry: Yeah…filling…has different ingredients…sounds good!

BakaKonekoRKL: …I dunno, some teacher or something. I can't really remember because I've been up since noon yesterday, and it's 6:40am today. Why? Because I want to see the Sun rise on New Year's Day. I'm a fun person.

Lust: That's…a difficult question to answer…

Ed: Probably say good-bye to everyone I could…I mean, if there was no changing it…

Roy: I plead the fifth.

Gluttony: Both?

Dante: Well, for how long would I have to keep it? I think I'd rather have the long hair. I could always cut it.

_Roy, would you still want that robot if it only listened to you like, 1/17 of the time...?  
Do you guys ever break the fourth wall? Or want to? If so, where? I mean, it happens a lot in fanfiction, but do you do that here? Well, I guess you do, since you're responding to us online, which is breaking the fourth wall for you guys, and so is responding to us at all... am I thinking about this too much?  
Do you guys celebrate __**Christmas**__? Or __**Hanukkah**__? Or Kwanza? 'Cuz I've heard you do and I've heard you don't. O.o  
Do you enjoy answering our questions...?  
Riza, what's your favorite color?  
Hughes, can your daughter play the piano? If she can't yet, you should plan on teaching her! That'd be cute._

_September Rhyme_

Roy: I thought you said all the time? It's every time, or no deal.

Ed: No, you're right. We also don't celebrate any of those holidays, but we do have other winter holidays. And honestly, these questions get pretty-

Winry: (jabs with elbow)

Ed: -GREAT. AND AMAZING. And I just LOVE to sit here answering them…for hours on end…Oh yeah.

Riza: Hmm…I actually like dark brown.

Hughes: No, she can't, but boy, does she have an amazing voice! I'm telling you, she could be an opera star in a few years!

_Dear PeopleFromFMA:_

Alright, I'll go ahead and address these to my favorite few...

Envy: You are the coolest cross-dressing palm-tree EVER!! Futhermore you're,  
like, my third favorite character in the series... So, a question for you!

If X equal four, then what does Y equal in X2+98/2-Y? My algebra teacher gave  
me homework for the holidays...If you don't want to answer the deal, you can  
just kill her. =D

Roy: You are an awesome colonel, you know that? I really appreciate how mean  
you are to Ed, because an angsty, moody Ed is a good Ed (please don't ask).  
You're my second favorite character. Although its a tie between you and  
_**Havoc**__...  
Can I call you Colonel Smexmuffin?_

Havoc: As stated before, you're at a tie for second. I sorta like you better because Roy has weirdish hair. The reason your tied with him is because I don't like smokers...my mom died from smoking and I'm majorly against it. Quit smoking and you'll be my fave. You're much hotter than Roy, anyway.

_**GREED**__!: I'm the most biggest Greed fangirl ever! And I have no idea why... It's the glasses, I swear. You know, you look like a bass player...have you every played the bass in, like, a band. If so, you were probably awesome. I cried when you died. =(  
I cheered and threw a book at my best friend when you came back, because she doesn't like you.  
Please don't kill her...but you're allowed to help Envy kill my Algebra teacher. If you don't want to, you can kill my Science teacher._

Anyway, much love to all!

-modernmotz (just call me Motz)

Envy: Why third favorite? Why not first? Well…Ok, that's still pretty good, so I'll figure it out for you…two times four is eight…and ninety-eight divided by two is forty-nine…so that plus eight is fifty-seven…Minus…Hey…WHERE THE HELL IS THE EQUAL SIGN!? Aw, screw it, I'll just kill her.

Roy: Yes. Yes, I do. And no, I won't ask…But hey, really, I'm a _Colonel_. And while I'm going to deny your request, aren't I still better than him?

Havoc: I know, doesn't he?! I'm really sorry about your mom, but…euh…I…I can't!

Greed: Oh really~? Unfortunately, I can't play bass. But yeah…I may take you up on that offer…

_l;fkdskfjsjfs..._

This is for Fletcher! Would you mind if I wrote a lemon about you and this little cute kid from Blood +? Me and this author here have been talking about it, and we both agree you and him would a great couple :3

...

Hey Ed! I send you love to where ever you are! Want to come over my house one weekend? Let me show you my computer Betsy...

Winry, can I borrow him for a, night or so?

Oh, and um, I LOVE U GREED-LING!

_DeathBerrry_

BakaKonekoRKL: Um, you're supposed to sign your name at the end, wtf is WRONG with you, woman?! I'M GONNA TRANSMUTE YOUR KNEE FAT!!! XD …No seriously people, I know her irl lol.

Fletcher: Oh, that sounds-! W-wait…a l-lemon…as in…sex? And…another boy?

Russel: Hey, stop poisoning my brother's mind, would you?

Ed: Thanks…but uh…well, that's ok.

Winry: A…A…what FOR??

Ling: Right back atcha!

Ok. So that's it. It's 7am. All the questions are answered. I need sleep. Happy New Year!!


	76. Chapter 76

**I-I swore I'd get better at updating this…D:**

…**HAPPY (late) VALENTINE'S DAY!!! :D**

**But yeah. Um. Excuse? I've been doing lots of art.**

**ALSO SORRY TO FANART WINNERS TO WHOM I'VE NOT DONE ANYTHING FOR YET I'M A TERRIBLE PERSONNNN D: I'll do something in study hall tomorrow. I swear. I promise.**

**Also everyone, please save yourself the trouble of typing, "I can't remember if I asked you this before…" because guess what? I CAN'T EITHER XD**

**ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: For those of you who use Google for everything, please use Blackle instead (just ). It's the same exact thing as Google, but it's got a black background, so it saves energy! Basically, if you use Blackle instead of Google, you'll be helping to save energy! That's a good thing!**

_Omigosh! xD First of all, hi everyone! Happy New Year and whatnot...holidays...I don't know what you celebrate in Fantasyland..._

So...ENVY! I love you. :3 You're my favorite villain/antagonist and I don't understand why people mistake you for a girl. Honestly, you wear shorts or something under the skirt right?! And your hair is gorgeous. How do you get it to stay all spikey-like? And do your feet ever bleed because you don't wear shoes? And can I have a hug? :3

Now for Al...you're adorable! Ed should get off his ass and get you the damn kitten already! Who can resist that face?!

Lastly Ed...I HAS A PLUSHIE OF YOU! -waves it in front of computer screen- I am insane enough to make everyone in my family kiss it once a day. They get pretty pissed about, but my four year old brother doesn't seem to mind. He loves huggling "Eddy doll". x3 -is a creepy fangirl- My 10 year old brother thinks you're cool, he watched a few episodes of FMA... -rambling- I guess I should ask a question now...oh! Do you consider Riza as a mother-like figure? It seemed sorta like it...and if you don't like milk, then does that mean you don't like ice cream? Do you purposely wear those shoes to make you taller? (Not saying you're short, I myself am below average in height)

That's all! Sorry for taking up so much space!

-Jinx Verity

**Envy: Oh ho~ Well, I'm glad to hear that. But yes. I AM A MAN. Anyway, they kind of are shorts…kind of. My hair is just naturally this way; pretty cool, huh? And no…I'm a homunculus, I don't need human shoes to protect my feet! And no hug unless you wanna get stabbed.**

**Al: Aww, thanks! And that's what I think, too…**

**Ed: WE'RE NOT GETTING A CAT, DAMNIT. Uh…anyway…that means that guys have been kissing my face…indirectly? Thaaaaaat's kinda creepy, not gonna lie. Um…I guess Riza has been kind of motherly at times…Yeah…ICE CREAM IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM MILK, ARE YOU CRAZY!? And uhhh…yeah, I plead the fifth on the shoe question.**

_To FMA cast: (waves shyly)  
Ano...Hi, sorry for the intrusion, I'm Carly Nagisa from Yugioh 5ds... ah...Ookami Bakura is busy with one of her stories, but she gave me questions and other things for you all!_

Its weird, I know...someone from a different "anime" asking the other "anime" questions... I have questions! (waves paper) Ookami Bakura is just...kinna busy... does it count if I have questions written by someone who has an accounthere?  
ah... anyway... (reads paper)

To Rue Moostangu...no, wait Muutango Ruby! Wait, gnatsuM yoR...oh what the heck! to Colonel-san: "why did you pick fire if its useless in the rain? If you pick fire, anyway... if you were to choose any element besides or instead fire, which element would it be?"  
Another question for you, "why'd you become part of the military when you're lazy to do your paper work?"

To Lt Riza-san: "I think you would make a great colonel, better than Roy!" and you're pretty! Especially with your hair down! *_*

To military personnel- "What do you think of a female Fuhrer? Do you think that'll happen in the future?"

To Gluttony- uh... *sees him eyeing her camera* Don't eat my camera!! I need it for a scoop!! Also, I'm...not that tasty...ANYWAY... (reads paper) "If other homunculi were human before they became what they are, were you human before then? Do you remember what or who you were?" Here's some chocolate cake to get your eyes off of me! (gives a 2-ft cake)

To uhh... oh what the heck! Fuhrer-san- "How did you die and become a homunculus?"

_Ed and Winry- "When you're OLDER, Ed can propose to marry Winry! (wink)" you two make a very cute couple... :D__writer's block__... I can take it from  
here..."  
To the author- I'm not stalking you... a friend of mine, Maple showed that  
video to me weeks ago before she left on her trip. Keep up the good work!! :D_

Winry- "What type of alchemist would you be?" ah! You're pretty too! (gives a rose) *_*

Havoc- "I'm sure you'll find your special someone..." Gambatte!! Just stop smoking and you'll have tons of women at your service!

Ookami Bakura- "break time! I'm having

Here's some...advice maybe...?

To FMA cast and maybe author:  
Okay, I'm writting a collaboration fic with Maple about an adventure of the Yugioh,Gx,5ds characters and Furuba/Fruits Basket characters here in Hawaii. We've thought of lots of "random" ideas for humor and many activities they can do together (not to mention some Furuba characters are kinna like the Yugioh characters in a way) There are ideas for a hint of romance in the story...  
also, action/adventure and other genre are undecided...

We are having fun with this story and at the same time, not getting much reviews. We wanted some opinions/feedback; maybe get some ideas to "improve" the story. This is the first time I made a collab with her, btw... Another friend of mine said something close to do "something different"...but this story is the only idea we came up with.  
Any ideas? o0

The story is on her account: zeldafan3. It's called "A Crazy Hawaiian Adventure".

Thanks everyone for answering my questions!

Carly- *bows* Here's some mochi left over from yesterday to celebrate New Years! It's hand made by yours truly, me! (gives a pan of mochi to Fma cast and author) We made a lot, seriously... also some sushi (gives sushi)

Carly and Ookami Bakura- HAPPY NEW YEAR!! hopefully this year will turn out better than 2008... especially the economy...

To FMA cast: Are you gonna fire some fireworks to celebrate the new year? :D

Ja ne!  
Ookami Bakura and Carly

**Roy: S-SHUT UP. Fire is the coolest element out there (not literally, of course). Otherwise, I guess I'd choose water, since it's similar to fire except it's fire's polar opposite…so all of fire's strengths/weaknesses are reflected in those of water's.**

**Riza: Thank you for the compliments!**

**Breda: A Female Fuhrer!**

**Falman: That would never happen.**

**Havoc: I know, right?**

**Riza: **(glares)

**All: Well…y'know…maybe someday.**

**Gluttony: Mmmmmm! **(too busy eating cake to answer)

**Fuhrer: **(smirks) **Do you reeeeaally want to know?**

**Ed & Winry: **(blush)

**Winry: Why thank you! Hm…I guess I'd be…some kind of alchemist similar to Ed, since my main power would be metal like him.**

**Havoc: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE…!**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Hahaha suuuure ;D Omg, Maple is such a pretty name! :D As for your story, here are some tips:**

**Riza: One reason why you may not be getting many reviews is because of the fact that you're doing a crossover. Therefore, only people who are familiar with both series would be interested in reading it.**

**Ed: Another thing that really turns people off is bad grammar, spelling, etc. Not saying you guys are guilty of that, but make sure to spell check your stuff a few times.**

**Winry: Also, make sure everything flows well. If something doesn't sound quite right, you should probably fix it!**

**Al: And don't forget to use word variation. Like instead of saying, "He said", "She said" all the time, try, "He sighed" and "She screamed".**

**Roy: Finally, if you make the chapters shorter and more suspenseful, people will be more willing to read not only that chapter, but also the subsequent ones.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Hope that he- OMG FOOD. **(om noms) **Seriously in the past 9 hours all I've eaten was an orange. ONE ORANGE, YOU HEAR ME? Oh god, sushi…**

**Ed: Yep, we already did!**

_To Everyone: Well, the thing is that my dad keeps telling me to not let them get me involved, because both my mom and my brother tend to come to me and use me as their personal venting post, and neither of them listen to me when I try to tell them the point that the other person has. Both my mom and my brother are so friggin' stubborn that it drive me up the bloody wall! And I'm so tired of them complaining to me about what's going on, and then not listening to me when I try to tell them what I think! GOD, it's just frustrating the ever-living heck out of me! I want to be there for my family, and I like the fact that my brother now feels like he can come and talk to me without being an ass, which was how he used to treat me. Seriously, a year ago you wouldn't even be able to get him to admit that he was related to me.__Japan__!! I can't wait until they get it dubbed so I can see if it's just as good as the first._

But... the thing is too that this girl lives all the way on the other side of the country, and she's his best friend's cousin. And my brother is REALLY into her, as in he wants to marry this girl.

Mustang: Well, he's almost 19 now, and two, almost three years is the difference between a legal adult and a teenage girl. See a bit of a problem with the underage part now, Colonel Meathead?

Hughes: What I meant with that question was what would you do if Elysia was 16 and she had some 19-year old guy taking a romantic interest in her even though they hadn't known each other before he was 19.

Envy: It's very tempting some days. But seriously, what would your reaction be if a 16-year old girl took a romantic interest in you? You're like what, 400 years old or something like that?

Winry: Something like that. More along the lines of Northern (insert name of state here) University, but they do have an engineering program there.

Izumi: At this point, I'm all for that. I haven't been camping in ages, so it's a welcome option.

To the entire FMA cast: Congratulations on the new release of the next part of FMA that they're producing over in

Thank you all so very much for the advice so far.

Wandering Hitokiri

**Ed: Well, you could just ignore them until they listen to you. Or if you set up a little "courtroom" kind of thing; set aside some time one evening, and listen to them; if they start pulling any shit, you take control. Why do you think judges have those hammers? To hit people on the head with!**

**Al: Ah, well. I guess you could always simply refuse to speak about it; like, the second something is brought up involving it, change the subject or something. Or tell them how much it's bothering you; you have to **_**make**_** them listen to you. That's your job.**

**Ed: Or you could just totally explode on them. That's one way to make them listen to you. Or maybe leave little signs or notes all around the house.**

**Roy: Hm. No, seems fine to-**

**Riza: **(elbows in the stomach)

**Roy: **(coughs) **I-I mean…that's a terrible…thing!**

**Hughes: Well of course not! That almost sounds like a stalker!**

**Envy: I'd kill her.**

**Ed: Thanks! Anyway…I'll tell you right now, there's a very, very slim chance it'd work out if they got married. Actually, it probably wouldn't at all. So just try to get that into his head, if you can at all.**

_Scar  
I'm sure almond paste tastes bad.  
Why did you abandon your real name anyways? Was it too painful to be reminded of the past?_

Dorochet  
Does anyone ever pet you behind the ears? Do you ever sing to annoy someone?

Roy  
It was Hughes you punched wasn't it?

_Have you ever got pushed around into something you didn't want to do? Has anyone called you , , Col Dingbat or any other names?_

_Kain  
(Waves) Hello. It does hurt to get pinched on the cheeks.  
I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I became 22 in December but I don't feel older.  
I promise I will get some questions for you but you get a free hug. (hugs Kain)_

Ed  
Has anyone called you shrimp metal? Do tall people mock you? There's some advantages to not being taller. You can fit into small spaces and hide from people if you don't want them to find you.  
Strangest thing you created with your alchemy? Most random thing you done? Ever got Roy back for making references to your size?

Izumi  
Do you think children should be forced to grow up to fast?

To the author  
Ever heard the song "Decode" by Paramore? It's a good song.

Al  
Most random thing you've done? Have you been called any weird names?

Riza  
What kind of joke did you take seriously? What was the end result?

_Sonar_

**Scar: Yeah. Something like that.**

**Dorochet: No, because that's just plain weird. And I don't sing.**

**Roy: I neither confirm nor deny. And yes; paperwork. People have probably called me those things…behind my back.**

**Kain: Hi! Even though you're over the legal age, I think it's good that you don't do any of those things; they can really screw you up.**

**Ed: No to the first question; yes to the second. The strangest thing I created with Alchemy would be Sloth…unfortunately. I…don't know what random things I've done…and no, but goddamn it, someday I will!**

**Izumi: Children should be allowed to enjoy their childhood, but at the same time, parents should slowly put adult things into their lives so that by the time they themselves are adults, they don't have everything thrown at them at once, and they've matured very slowly over many years.**

**BakaKonekoRKL: Nope :O I've heard of that band though. Mental note to check them out…**

**Al: Um…I don't know! D: Haha, yeah, people call me weird things all the time…People always think I'm the older brother, or Brother's dad, or something.**

**Riza: It was very long ago; I honestly cannot remember.**

_-sigh- Well Zilo seems pretty cool so...well done, Zilo. And me too, I guess...thanks for the prize, though! I'll email you.__Alchemist__ podcast the other day (for there are few other things to do on a 12-hour plane ride) and suddenly started to wonder what you characters would think if you listened to it. So, tell me, what would you say if you knew that some random middle-aged guy with too much  
time on his hands was making podcasts dissecting the "ideas and themes of the series"? (the podcast is amazing, by the way.)_

Anyway, on to the issue.  
I recently came out as a lesbian to three of my friends, as well as my mom. I'm starting to think that my evaluation might not be...entirely...correct. But I have no idea what to do. Like, would I just go up to them and say, "Hey, forget what I told you that time"? That does NOT sound like the right thing to do. And with my mom, it's even more complicated, because she spent 7 months  
convinced that I was in "turmoil" before finally facing the fact. ("Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Are you sure you're sure you're sure?") So admitting this probably means she'll doubt everything from now on, which will be a problem when I figure out the truth.  
Oh, and, Certain Friends, if you're reading this, sorry I didn't tell you in person.

So do I have any actual FMA-related questions...let's see...oh yeah. I was listening to the lovely Annotated

Hilaria

**BakaKonekoRKL: Aww, don't worry, hun! I'll also send you a message back…eventually…Damnit. Also, is it alright if I answer your first question, since I've been in a very similar situation? Ok well too bad I'm answering it anyway lol. First off, you sort of screwed up when you told these people, because you're still young, still "finding yourself" as my art teacher would say. You can't take any of that back. But you can alter it; the fact that you consider yourself a lesbian suggests that yes, you do find women attractive. But if you're doubting that, if you find yourself looking at guys, too, it's possible that you're bisexual (like me haha). Also, if you let your mom and friends know that you really, truly, honestly thought you were a lesbian but assessed yourself wrong, well, let them know that people do make mistakes, that something like this is difficult to figure out, and it doesn't mean you're going to be wrong all the time. Life is a journey, and as cliché as that sounds, it will take you a long time to discover even the smallest things about yourself- and this is something big. As a side note, as least your mother believes you; my mom's completely dismissed it so I haven't brought it up again -__-;**

**Ed: I'd say that the guy has way too much goddamn time on his hands.**

**Al: Well, while I think it's…interesting that he's doing this, I also find it slightly creepy.**

**Winry: He should seriously be an English teacher.**

_Ed:  
It's a good thing you're FUN-SIZED; you can fit into SMALL places to get the LITTLE items that are hidden.  
When are you going to get together with Winry?_

Winry:  
You should make automail that has a cup holder.

Riza:  
How's Black Hayate?

AirDragon717

**Ed: UM. YOU KNOW WHAT?**

**Winry: Ooooh, like a secret compartment? But…that wouldn't make any sense. Theoretically, if you're not holding the cup in one of your hands, both hands would be occupied with doing something, right? So the cup would just fall out.**

**Riza: Very good.**

_Thanks for the advice-- formal rehearsals start in a few days, and I'm already feeling more confident. Performing is indeed one of my passions and you're right Al-- I shouldn't let anything stand in my way! You guys really gave me a boost, so thank you!__Riza__ McKirdy, Lupine __Alchemist_

--Major

**Al: It's our pleasure! We hope everything goes well!**

_ZILO'S ALONE, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

Heh heh. Moo.  
Okay, so I went and saw a couple episodes. Then we lost power T.T But anyway...I'm alone again, and totally reveling in it. (proceeds to revel) So, moving onto my VERY random questions...

To Al: Oh! Yay, I'm not in trouble! For now...(broods grimly) Would you rather...nah, nevermind.

To Rhi: Was it pretty? I might have done something like that, if I had the imagination to think of it. As it was, we just had a good pray over the New Year and proceeded to watch another movie. Haha.

To Roy: You CAN'T plead the 5th because...because...because I wanna know your answer! Excellent reason! But fine (sighs dramatically) then what's the SECOND thing you would do?

To Gluttony: Would you rather have to eat 67 cars or a vat of acid?

To Dante: Hm...you'd have to keep the hair your whole life. And if you ever cut it...something evil would happen to you. Something so horrifying you'd regret it the rest of your life. Don't ask me what, because I don't know what would instill that in you.

To Scar: Would you rather no longer have the ability to kill State Alchemists, or have to kill every single person you ever come across, including, like, innocent kids and stuff?

To Envy: Would you rather be buried underground for the rest of your life without the ability to get out, or...live with Ed and Al for the rest of your life and not be allowed to kill them?

To Rose: Would you rather have to walk everywhere you go, no matter how far, or lose all your limbs (and then get automail XD)?

To Havoc: Would you rather have to keep smoking for the rest of your life, which murders your health, and die painfully and horribly because of it, or never be able to get a date again because Roy steals them all?

I think I'm done. I'm in a random mood today, can't you tell? Anyway, bye!  
And don't mix ammonia with cleanser!!

--Zilo Sugarpill

**Al: Um…okay? D:**

**BakaKonekoRKL: UMM THAT'S NO EXCUSE. Haha go watch them now XD Also yes I thought it was nice :D**

**Roy: JUST FOR THAT, I PLEAD THE FIFTH AGAIN. So there.**

**Gluttony: 67 cars. Mmmmmm.**

**Dante: …That's an impossible situation.**

**Scar: The first one. I suppose someone else could kill them…**

**Envy: WHAT'S WITH ALL THESE "WOULD YOU RATHER" QUESTIONS!?!? ……the first.**

**Rose: Walk everywhere I go. Exercise is fun!**

**Havoc: Pfft, the first! I mean, I'm gonna die someday anyway, it doesn't matter how.**

_Hey! I've got couple questions here...let's start with Ed._

Ed- How do you feel about Elricest? I'm personally...a fan. DON'T KILL ME! What about EdXRussel? I'm a fan of this too.

Winry- I don't like you a whole lot, but you're a thousand times better than Rose or Noa!

Roy-...nah, you aren't worth typing something.

Fletcher- You're so cute -huggles- Ok, have you read any of the fics about...well, how do I put this...about you and your brother?

Al- YOU DESERVE AN EFFING CAT GOD DANG IT! Ed you can go to hell! No not really, but you get my drift ^_^ -hands you a kitty-

Envy-...won't you pwease crotchet me a blanket? -puppy dog eyes-

Riza- KISS ROY! You know you wanna!

Havoc- In about...I dunno...five years I'll be eligible to date you -_-' Sorry...

Hughes- I miss you!! :( Shouldn't have let them kill you off.

Alright...that's everything...OH! And Ed, I'm not too tall either...about 5" 1' or 5" 0', actually. So don't feel too bad...but then, I'm 13 and your 15 ^_^ Oh well. Love you anyway -pokes username-

Love,  
Edward's Eternal

**BakaKonekoRKL: I LOVE THEM –drools-**

**Ed: …You're all psycho, I swear.**

**Winry: Um…thanks…I think…**

**Roy: Well too bad, cuz you did.**

**Fletcher: Aww, thanks! And no, I haven't…what are they about?**

**Russel: Tell him and I swear you're dead.**

**Al: Aww, how cute, thanks so…much…**

**Ed: **(glares)

**Al: Aw…c'mon, Brother…!**

**Ed: **(continues to glare and taps foot)

**Al: …You're so mean, Brother! **(drops cat and runs off crying)

**Ed: **(sighs) **It had to be done…**

**Envy: Not on your life.**

**Riza: Um. I don't think so.**

**Havoc: I can wait!!**

**Hughes: That's what I said! No one ever listens to me…**

**Ed: How is it that everyone who writes in to here is somehow short? SERIOUSLY. What, do you people all plan this out or something? It's kinda freaky.**

_Hi, hi! Okay  
To Breda: I feel your pain, I'm scared of dogs too. I was attacked by three... Multiple times. What makes you so scared of them?  
To Ed: You aren't short. Seriously. You're a giant compared to me (I'm four foot eleven) How do you feel about the stupid fangirls that say 'I'm married to __Edward Elric__!' or other stuff along those lines?  
To Envy: Ignore the stupid people who bug you about your skort and croptop. I think they're awesome. Can I glomp you? (glomps)  
To Winry: Why are you so obsessed with automail? And why do people always think of you and Ed as a couple? I always got more of an 'overprotective big sister' vibe out of you.  
To Scar: As far as I know it was never clarified how you got your scar. How'd you get it? And why do you go around trying to kill state alchemists like Ed?_

_Corn Cob Xov_

**Breda: **(shivers) **I-I-I can't even talk about it.**

**Ed: See? Someone else who happens to be magically shorter than me…Anyway, no offense to the reviewer above you (though she didn't come off as quite as psycho), it's a little unnerving. And weird. And sometimes, creepy as hell.**

**Envy: I won't kill you for glomping me due to the compliments. Just don't let it happen again.**

**Winry: Well, my grandma was a famous automail mechanic, and she trained me, so I'd like to follow in her footsteps. I also want to make the best automail possible for Ed! And…er…Um…I guess it's because of the whole "childhood friends" thing, y'know? Eheh heh…**

**Scar: No, it was clarified. Kimbley attacked my head and gave me an injury which left this scar. He's also the main reason for my trying to kill State Alchemists; for revenge for everything they did to my homeland.**

_Hi, I'll start by saying that I like this fic, and that an advice column is an interesting idea.__Final Fantasy IV__ recently, and the character Yang looks like you. He has a mustache, doesn't wear a shirt, is blonde, and he is a monk. Also his weapons are claws. Weird...__bow and arrows__? If you have, were you good with it? I think you're a better boss than Mustang._

Anyway,

Armstrong: I've been playing

Ed: Also in Final Fantasy IV is a character named Edward. He has the same hair and eye color as you too, but that's all you have in common. Since he's a spoony bard, can I call you a spoony alchemist? Why don't you like milk? The taste? Where it comes from? Does it remind you of your mother? Would you drink flavored milk?

Havoc: Have you tried dating someone that smokes?

Riza: Have you ever used a

Breda: I can understand being afraid of dogs, since they're related to wolves, but why are you afraid Black Hayate? Riza wouldn't let him do anything to you. Is shogi difficult? Also, you're my favorite character, and I think you should have more fans.

Anyone: What is a fear of open spaces called?

Bye, Boxdog

**BakaKonekoRKL: Thanks :D**

**Armstrong: They were probably so impressed with ME that they decided to create another character based off of me!! Ah ha ha!**

**Ed: Well I don't know what the hell that is so no. I don't like milk because it's just disgusting! It tastes terrible, the texture of it is awful…but I hated it even before Mom died. Flavored milk…no.**

**Havoc: Yes, several girls, in fact! …None of them worked out…**

**Riza: Not that I can remember, no.**

**Breda: You never know if it's just gonna snap and go beyond her control! Shogi can be difficult, but fun. You should try it! And thanks!**

**Falman: That would be Agoraphobia.**

**Well thanks again for tuning in this time! Remember, Blackle, not Google! And uh…yeah I'll be better updating next time D:**

**ALSO HAPPY PRESIDENT'S DAY LOL.**


End file.
